Ainsley Meets "The Carpenter" During His Near Death Experience

0:03 From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then they paddled. My heart, my heart had stopped and I could see people screaming and crying but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I had known in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody. And a very warm welcome to our special guest, Ainsley Threadgold, down in Florida. How are you this morning, Ainsley?

0:50 I'm very well, thank you very much. How are you? I'm doing great. We have spring here. I know in Florida you have spring all year long. I would love you to tell our audience just a little bit about you and explain why you don't have a southern accent. Ready, go. Well, I think it's quite obvious that I'm definitely not from Florida, albeit that I've lived here. Well, I've been in the States since 2019. Also spent a couple of years on Maui with my wife. Other than that, it's been Florida. I'm from the UK originally. A little bit about myself. I was a police officer for a long time there, something I was always passionate about. It was my way of helping people. Since getting citizenship, I've been lucky enough to continue that on Maui and I'm continuing that with Florida as well. I'm just coming to the end of yet another police academy. Hopefully this will be the last one. I'm getting a little bit old for it now. But again, police and I've still got a passion for it. It's something that I feel as though is a great way of me helping people. And as we'll discuss with my near -death experience, how that links in with quite how I help people in my role is a little bit different.

1:55 Well, thank you for all you do. This is going to be fun today. I don't think we have ever had on the show someone who has had a near -death experience and then a little while later we have their spouse who's had a near -death experience. So about a month ago we had Krista Gorman on the show and she was a great guest and you also had a near -death experience. Before we get into yours, would you tell us your commonalities have something to do with you getting together? In a nutshell, yes. So many synchronicities for how we met and those synchronicities have continued through our relationship in relation to us both having had near -death experiences. As I'll discuss later, the energy of Krista was actually in mine, so we were destined to meet. We've had lifetimes together, we know that, we've had different past life experiences where we know that our love has... continued, there is that Chinese proverb of the little fine red piece of string that attaches to people and doesn't matter how tangled they are or how far they are apart, but if you're meant to meet, you're meant to meet. With our meeting, it was a group of circumstances that very definitely put us in front of each other and kept us there. Our lives at the time were not conducive to a relationship. in any way, shape or form, living four and a half thousand miles apart, her being here in Florida and me, you know, still being in the UK, coming to the end of our first marriages. And we certainly weren't on the market and we weren't looking for anything. We just found each other and found

3:26 something that was so compelling that we never really lost touch. And then when the time was right, it was like, now it's a little bit more than friendship. And, you know, we had to... really admit to ourselves and each other that there was something so special it was worth the challenge of making a go of the relationship we spent. just about four years, you know, building the relationship while we were still in separate countries and, you know, eventually going through the immigration process. We did it all properly and we got married and then we went through the immigration process, which took us about 14 months. So, you know, even though we were husband and wife, I still had to go and work in the UK and she was still living here for a while. So anyone who talks about the long distance relationships, it's normally the next town or maybe, you know, across the country. They don't really talk about it being in two separate countries. We live in proof that it's worth making it work when you know when you know. Not even two separate countries, but across the whole ocean as well. That's a big gap. Well, we'll talk more about some of those synchronicities. Oh, big word for me this morning. Synchronicities later, but let's get into it. What happened back when you were 13 years old? When I was 13, I remember the thing with mine is that the event happened and I had no memory of it for 20 plus years. So the event itself happened on a boring Tuesday. I more recently discovered that the date was June 16th, 1993.

4:57 I remember the last lesson I had on that day was French and I remember looking out the window just counting down the time before I could go home. That evening, my brother and I were given the task of helping my dad deliver pamphlets for local government. My parents were both avid with local government at the time and we were, you know, it was one of those times where they were having a local election, so my brother and I were tasked with helping my dad deliver leaflets. It's one of those boring evenings where you're just posting things through, you hope there isn't a dog on the other side to bite your fingers, and that was it. There was nothing more exciting than that. The last place that we were to go to, my dad put us in the car and drove us there, and I remember seeing the sign for the road, it was a country road called Clay Lane, so I distinctly remember seeing that sign, and then I don't remember anything else. What actually happened was that my father had... parked us up somewhere safe and we were delivering leaflets either side of clay lane to get it covered and at some point during that time I was hit by a car. I was told later, when I eventually woke up in hospital, that the car was travelling at about 40 miles an hour. Being a police officer, I know the statistics for survival. If a child of my age at the time and my size was hit at 30 miles an hour, then there's an 80 % chance of survival with injury and a 20 % chance that you don't come back at all. Well, at 40 miles an hour, it's reversed. So there's an 80 % chance that that child doesn't come back at all. and a 20 % chance of survival. Normally that's with

6:29 quite significant injuries, you know, brain injuries, life changing. So that was the event. And as I say, I don't recall anything, or I certainly didn't recall anything until I woke up in hospital many, many hours later. I was remembering it. I was in a bed that wasn't mine. I was in this dimly lit orange room, which I knew immediately wasn't mine. And I remember looking up. and seeing my parents and my brother sat on three plastic chairs, looking very concerned. That was my first memory of something out of the ordinary happening there. My short -term memory was shot, so apparently I kept having to be reminded of what happened. I was asking the same question over and over again, albeit that my memory isn't quite the same. But that was it. I went through the process of finding out what was wrong. I had a long operation to... put my left leg back together. It was my left leg below the knee which was completely smashed. It was the bones were just bits and obviously I had some head injuries and other things as well. The only thing that I think was special at the time was that the doctor that worked on me wasn't meant to be there. So he was one of the top bone specialists in Europe and he was actually leaving that day and my case came in just before he left. So he stayed out of interest. asked the other doctors what they were going to do and they were like pins in a cage I mean you know it's a mess there he's lucky he's still got his leg and he was like I think I can manipulate everything back together without having to use any of those things and he did.

8:01 So I didn't have to have a K, I didn't have to have pins. He told me himself that I had to have those things done. Then I would have been left with a permanent limp and probably by now I would have been in a wheelchair. So certainly no policing. So that was the only real miracle I can think of. At the time, the only strange thing that I had was that I could no longer wear watches. I'd been given a watch for my 13th birthday, and I was very proud of it. It was sat on my wrist at the time I was run over, and that, amongst other things, was broken and destroyed. So my parents, as a treat, bought me the same watch and gave it to me in hospital. And while I was in hospital convalescing, the watch stopped and broke. And then the next watch I had did the same thing. And as I grew up and grew past the initial event and followed my teens into my 20s, the same thing would happen over and over again.

8:56 And then I discovered that I would also disturb radio signals. CDs would skip. When I eventually came around to having my first cell phone or mobile phone, as we call them in the UK, I would always notice that the signal around me was very poor or nonexistent. So I've had my phone in my pocket. I would very often miss calls or text messages, and when I took my phone out, put it away from me, then the signal would suddenly come back. I've also fried someone's digital camcorder while they were filming a session with me. It's the lady that eventually be the hypnotherapist that allowed me to recover the memories of my near death. She also did something called, was it now, forensic healing. While she was doing the training, she asked me if I would do some sessions and she would record them. and one of the sessions she recorded, and it was quite a profound session for me. You know, she bought this brand new camera, she spent a lot of money on it, digital camera, and she did the recording.

9:52 After the session, she came to try and download the information from it, and it wouldn't work, it wouldn't turn on. So she took it back to the store, and they said, I don't know what you've done with it, but you've fried the insides. It's like... that was that was our thing. It's just messing with electricity. So that was the only thing that I noticed that was different about me. Otherwise, I just got on with life. And it wasn't until I was older that I was given the opportunity to remember things. I find that so interesting. I've heard this from a few other people, a few other experiencers. It certainly doesn't happen to everybody. But I can think of a handful one person that said that a watch would run for about a month. And so they had 12 watches, one for every month. And after a while, so they would wear it for a month, it would work, and then it would die. They would put it in a drawer, pull out the next one. After a few months, it would start working again. And so they just rotated through all these watches.

10:50 Somebody else that was on the show talked about going into a cell phone store. trying an Android phone, using it for a few seconds and then it would totally die. So the clerk got her another one, used it for a few seconds, it totally died. For some reason, an iPhone didn't do that. Now, this is not an iPhone commercial, but I find this really peculiar and super interesting. I've never seen any study or science done on it. Do you have any personal theory of your own of why this happens? I actually spoke to someone that did a particular type of healing modality with people and he was saying that what tends to happen with someone who's had a profound experience, now whether it be a spiritually transformative experience or a near -death experience, is as a vessel there are cracks in the vessel because we've had the profound experience and it's caused a disturbance in the force. And it's those cracks with the energy of who we truly are hasn't quite transmuted itself back into this vessel. So we're going back into a smaller vessel than we left.

12:00 You know, we realize that we're bigger and it's the process of healing where those cracks are still present and the energy is still very strongly coming out that he found was possibly the cause for the electrical disturbances. I mean, we are electromagnetic, so it stands to reason that if we've had something profound happen to us that, you know, that does change things. We found that when people were on a healing journey that very often they would find a way of balancing that. And I certainly have found that the only time I tend to drain things now is if I'm emotionally in the wrong place and I try and keep myself steady. Certainly with the work I do, it's no good for me to store things or not deal with things. I certainly have found a way of balancing my energies enough so that most of the time I don't disturb energies too much. When I have done it in the past, I've drained a car battery.

12:58 So that is a big one. Yeah, yeah, and it was my car as well, so it was a right pain to spend the money to get it changed and things like that. So I know the importance of balancing my energies, not just because I don't want to drain my phone or mess with the radio or things, but it's more important for life in general. But yeah, he touched on it and it was like the healing process between you've had an incident which is life -threatening, life -changing, you've come back. you might not necessarily remember that you wanted to come back. You know, a lot of people wanted to stay and felt as though they were forced back. So there's that, you know, there's also that disparity between having this wonderful experience and coming back into this life and not being the same. And then relationships fall apart and, you know, the people who were left, they're happy that you're back, but then you're suddenly different.

13:49 So you're not the same person that they remember, you know, and that could be, well, you had this accident, you were sleep for a bit you woke up and you were a different person and they don't understand so you know there's all of these little things these fissures that need to be healed and unless you are open to it and aware of it then that's where you know you do end up being told and I think it's like little universal signs look there's something not quite right here it's not normal for people to drain the battery on a car so what's going on with you we have to be a little bit more careful I think yeah okay Let's jump up to the NDE itself. Some people remember these immediately when they wake up from whatever happened. I've talked to some people that two or three or four days later or even a few months later remember. For you, it was about 20 years. First of all, what brought the memory back? And then let's talk about what happened and what you remember from it. When I was 34, I was probably in the worst spiritual state I could be in. I wasn't in that greatest state physically and I woke up one morning and had acute sciatica. Obviously sciatica normally affects the left side and in this case it did as well but I didn't have the pain. What I had was a lack of sensation or power in my left leg below my knee. Now as we discussed earlier that was where I broke my leg so below my knee was smashed and in this case when I was 34 the sciatica affected the same place and you know I couldn't stand on the leg, the calf muscles wouldn't work, I

15:20 could wiggle my toes and you know if someone you know touched my foot and things I could feel that but there was just no power there. I had to have time off work because I can't be a police officer and not have full use of my legs. Whilst I was off trying to figure out how to sort this issue out, I went to go and see an osteopath who I'd used before. And while he was manipulating things on one of the sessions, I spoke to him about what I thought might be a correlation between the accident that I'd had when I was 13, i .e. where my leg had been affected. And now I was like, well, maybe there's some nerve damage there that's been irritated and maybe that's why it's been affected. And I spoke to him about the event and that I didn't really remember it and that I woke up and suddenly couldn't wear watches and things like that. And he said, well, it sounds to me like you've had a near -death experience, you just don't remember it. So he went to his bookshelf and pulled out a book on near -death experiences. And it was by a lady called Dr.

16:21 Penny Sartori. Now, Penny Sartori was a nurse in Wales in the UK. for a high dependency unit and she'd had some very profound experiences with people who'd passed away in her presence who then came back and said I think I've been somewhere. One thing led to another and she was allowed to she was given grants to do this long -term study on the near -death experience in the hospital setting and that culminated in her first book so the book was given to me. and I was reading it and for the first time I was reading people's experiences where I could relate to the after effects it's like oh that sounds like things I've been through and that sounds like me and you know not fitting in quite and having the problems with electricity and stuff like that so I was reading things and it's like for the first time I felt as though I wasn't strange or odd Again, I still didn't have a memory. There was nothing there that really triggered anything and, you know, it's slightly frustrating when you're almost there. It's like the word on the tip of your tongue. You just can't quite get it. So that's at that point that I was at. At the back of the book, there was a website for a near -death group in London. So I reached out to them because I was interested to see whether there was other people who'd had near -death experiences or, you know, had the after effects of a near -death experience but no memory. And they... eventually wrote back and said, you know, we have not heard anything like that, but, you know, keep it posted. We're, you know, we'd be interested to find out what you find out. And during that time, I was thinking, well, how else

17:51 do I get hold of a memory that, you know, it might be buried deep in my head while hypnotherapy suddenly occurred to me. You know, I did a web search and there was, I think there was four names of people that were local to me. Funnily enough, the furthest person away from me was the one that jumped off the screen. It was like, you need to call this person, this person. It was like her name was almost prominent from the screen. It was like a 3D effect thing. It's like, call this person. So I did, I left a message, explained who I was and what I was interested in. And, you know, within an hour, she got back to me. The lady with his name was Karen and it was interesting because during the phone call it was like I'd known her for a long time. It was like we were a brother and sister or something like that. It was like a you know conversation with family. You know it put me at ease that I'd chosen the right person. We arranged for me to have a session and she explained to me how her sessions work and she was a fully qualified clinical hypnotherapist but she'd also gotten into the regressional hypnotherapy. And she said, well, you can do it in one of two ways. You can either have a short session and it gives you an indicator as to how this works, or you can just dive in with both feet and see what happens.

19:03 Well, me being me, I want to dive in. We had the session. The way it worked was that she got me into a nice, relaxed state. I was lying on a massage table. She got me into a nice, relaxed state and she would get me to imagine a garden. and in the garden there was a series of pathways and steps going down and each time you went down a set of steps you went down a level in your consciousness and eventually when you were further enough down you were on a pathway and it was set on one side with trees and the other side was a wall with a series of doors. and the idea was that in that super conscious state you would choose a door, you would walk through the door and then you had a certain amount of tasks to do to discover what was going on, who you felt you were, was it something in this life, was it something in a past life and you would look at your feet first and then you would look up to see whether you recognized any clothes that you were wearing and then you would look at your surroundings and you would go from there. So the first experience I'll go over very briefly.

20:08 It was actually a past life of mine and I very immediately realized that I was an old man and I was stood in a very old -fashioned 11th or 12th century church in southern France. I knew that I was a devout Catholic monk, but I also knew that I was ashamed of my religion. for the first time I had a memory of looking at my old hands and I could see I was holding a cross but I was also holding my hands were bloody. The interpretation wasn't there so I went to the pulpit, opened the Bible that had always been a source of solace for me and the words didn't mean anything. Afterwards I realized that what was going on at that time in France is that the Cathars who were an off -cutting of the Catholics were being systematically slaughtered. by the Catholic Church. And the feeling of me having blood on my hands was because I felt as though I was part of it. You know, my religion was doing this and it's also me. So I was brought out of that experience and Karen led me to choose another door, but try and choose a door in your current life. So I chose the next door, did the same thing, looked at my feet and tried to figure out where I was, you know, looking at my surroundings.

21:18 And I realized that by looking at my feet, I was half buried. in a ditch. I realized I was a child. I very quickly realized I was back at the scene of my accident. So I could see the ambulance. I could see the people coming out of the ambulance. I couldn't move. I could feel the dazed panic of realizing that something had happened, that I had no control over myself. I remember being put in the ambulance. During the ambulance ride, I was visited by my grandfather on my mum's side. He died three months before I was born. I was, you know... born to a grieving mother. So it's a grandfather I never knew in life, but he was with me. I later was told that actually my granddad, Tom, was one of my guides and he'd always been with me. But on this occasion, he was almost physically there. You know, he spoke to me and said how proud he was of me.

22:11 And he said, I'd like you to do something for me if you can. When you see your mum, I want you to tell her how proud I am of her. He died when he was 49. With the situation at home at the time, I don't think he ever really got much chance to let her know that he was very proud, but he wanted that message to be passed on by me. He said, but for now, I want you to close your eyes and everything's going to be okay. So as I closed my eyes, I left my body and ended up in the clouds. It was like this cloud space. I was on this meandering cloud river and in front of me was this magnificent cloud city. And I was... floating towards the cloud city and as I got closer there was a figure in the distance coming closer to me, a male energy in a series of white robes came to be next to each other.

23:04 I was brought to a standing position, the male figure knelt in front of me and he put one hand on my chest and the other hand on my face. Now the interesting thing for me being under hypnosis was that I was having this experience but I was also still somewhat aware of the fact that I was lying on the table and I could actually physically feel the heat of the hand on my chest and the hand on my face. He spoke very gently to me, he said, hello my son, I am the carpenter. You know me as I know you. I love you as you love me and as I love everyone else. You're very special to me and I would like you to do something for me if you choose to go back. I want to speak through you. Now at that point he said, you're not going to remember any of this until the right times. So the times bits important. But at that point, that was the end of the experience as far as I was aware. I was then brought back into my body. I had a very quick few memories of being semi -conscious in the hospital. And then I was brought back from the experience. the hypnosis experience. Now I figured that I'd been under for about 20 minutes. When I got the CD of the session, it was an hour and a half long. There's that complete time difference. You're away and you don't realize you're away that long and then all of a sudden you've been away for a while.

24:32 And for me... Going into that experience, I tried to have no preconceived ideas. I didn't want to think that, oh, well, you know, I want an experience because the memories I brought back might just be horrible memories of being hit by a car, but I was prepared for it. I don't think I was quite prepared for actually coming back with an experience because where I was at the time in my life didn't really match with the responsibility of... having had an experience where I was told by someone who may or may not have been a Jesus energy telling me he's going to speak through me because I didn't feel as though I was worthy of it. So I had this elation and then all of a sudden this responsibility, this, you know, heaped on me for, you know, gosh, I've got to, how on earth do I, you know, be spoken through and, you know, help people when I didn't know how to help myself. I did realize that I had been spoken through a lot during my twenties and, you know, I hadn't really made the connection until that point where I've been an officer, I've been in and around the police since I was 25 and there'd been a number of occasions where people would just talk to me about anything.

25:39 You know, they'd come for a policing reason and all of a sudden they'd be telling me something very personal that they'd never spoken to anyone else about and I just had the answer. and I never really knew why. It was just there. I was always very quick to interpret messages. When I went to church for a while as well, the messages would just come there and I never really knew why. And then when I woke up from having this hypnotherapy session, it was like, ah, maybe I've already been used and now I'm consciously aware of it. That's the first part of the memory of the experience and I'll get to the rest of it because there's a... set of synchronicities that led me to remembering the rest of it. What do you say to people who don't believe that memories that come through hypnosis are real? I know some people, most people realize yeah this is a real thing but I've heard of some that don't believe it or don't believe in past life regression. What do you have to say to them? To me it really doesn't matter.

26:35 There are scientific studies on memory and where memory comes from. and if you are remembering a true event, especially something which is highly emotive, so whether it's a traumatic event or whether it's a really nice happy event that really means something to you, there is an emotional connection with that memory which gives you an emotional release and there's a particular part of the brain that lights up when you have a memory. as opposed to when you are told to make a story up. So when you're telling someone a story that you've made up, different parts of your brain lights up because it's the story making parts of the brain and it's different from the memory parts of the brain, the emotive memory. And for me, if ever I've questioned it myself, I always have to go back to how emotional it has been for me to share in the past. There's certain times where I've broken down in tears because...

27:25 You know, it's such an emotional thing to recall. It had a massive impact and it's completely changed my life. It was changing my life without me realizing it and then certainly after I came back from the hypnotherapy sessions, I can't go back to who I was. You know, I was very closed off. I had been painfully shy as a child into a teenager and that followed me my whole life. very quick reference, until I realised that I needed to do something to love myself, I couldn't get dressed without being under a towel. And that was if I was completely on my own in the house, I'd have to wrap myself up in a towel. I was completely ashamed of who I saw in the mirror. And if I looked at myself in the mirror, it was always the side I look. I could never really truly look at myself because I wasn't really happy with who I saw. So after that point the responsibility or part of the responsibility I felt was for me to start to heal myself and go on that journey instead and learn how to talk about how I felt and I didn't really know how to do that and it took me a long while. Krista certainly has helped with that, you know, still helps with that. It's the distinct change that tells me that what I had experienced was true because If it was, you know, made up like a dream or something like that, if you ever had a dream that's completely changed your life, I don't think anyone has.

28:44 Some people have turned around and said, oh, maybe the experience is, you know, just your brain's last ditch attempt to try and stay alive. And, you know, it's like a hallucination or maybe it was drug induced. Well, the hallucinations are different. You know, the long lasting effects of hallucination are completely different from the effects of an experience or, you know, something like that. It's changed my life, and if other people don't believe it, well, that's fine. I mean, if they haven't had that experience, then how can they tell? Yeah. Who cares? OK. Was there anything else that happened before we talk about the synchronicities? So many things, but there's only so much time today. So much time in it.

29:25 I've had this in the past where I've talked about the whole thing. It's taken me a long time because there's lots to it. So I try as much as possible to skip to the good bits and try and cover as much in a short time as possible. All right. Well, tell us something you've never told anybody before. Oh, talk about put you on the spot. There may be something we find interesting that you don't think is interesting. That I will that's yeah see this the thing about doing the talks is like, you know, I try and narrow things down and I and I have talked about different aspects during different talks I've done and You know, I've always tried to let things just flow again if I'm being spoken through then I always you know use that as a guide to whatever whatever is meant to you know, come out, comes out, whatever emotion I'm meant to feel, I feel. I try not to mask things. You know, I have, you know, openly cried on different podcasts and things before, just because of, you know, being reminded of the experience is quite profound. I think the only thing that I haven't really shared was just before Krista and I left Maui, we went to the top of Haleakala to watch the sunset. So we've been up there a couple of times for you know at different points in the day and we've been there over the Christmas period one time and it was it was midnight so it was completely pitch black we were the only ones up there but this time just before we left we decided to go and see what a sunset would be like with as high

30:55 up as Haleakala is you know the the cloud base is a lot lower than the peak of the mountain with the way that the sun was And the way that the clouds were was the only time I've ever seen something which was very similar to the cloud city that I saw. And that was very profound for me to actually visualize something that came as close as anything else to having that vision. I've been up there for sunrise. I can picture what you're talking about. Yeah. And I know quite a few people have. By the way, if you haven't done it, take a blanket with you. It can be a little chilly. Yeah, it's the same thing with the sunset as well. As soon as the sun starts to go down, it's like, oh yeah, you know, can be a little bit cooler up there. But yeah, so, you know, from a different perspective for the sunrise, you know, if it hits the clouds in the right way, you've just got that, you know, golden light that hits the clouds. And it was just to say it's about the closest that I can think of in my life where I've actually pictured something which was about as beautiful. And I know it's...

31:54 funny we say about the Hawaiian Islands is Kauai for Krista. Some of the views there were the closest things that she could picture to part of her experience. So it's interesting that there's a, you know, now I'm talking about it, there's a synchronicity there for us as well. All right. I'm going to turn the interview over to you. Where do you want to go next? I suppose it would be nice for me to explain what I mean by when I said about the right times during the last part of the memory that I had during the hypnotherapy. I knew at the time that there was a point to me not having any memory of the near -death experience. I mean, if I'd have woken up as a 13 -year -old child having had the full experience, then that would have completely changed my life and taken me in a different direction than I was destined to go in. And certainly, I'm not sure how well it would have gone down at school, had a, you know, oh, Ains, you know, knowing you got run over, but how was your summer? Oh, well, you know, it was part of the running over. I went somewhere and met someone that... may have been Jesus and he told me that he was going to speak through me. It doesn't really, you know, doesn't really deal with the kids. So I'm kind of glad that when I had the remembering, it was at a time where as an adult, I could really correlate it to the different points in my life. Well, not long after the experience that I was given, I wrote back to the near death UK group and told them and you know they were the first people outside of my immediate family that I shared with and they were very happy that I'd had the

33:28 experience and said oh you live near Manchester and I was like yeah I live in Cheshire which is next door and they were like well we were hoping to set up a near death group up there because we're being flooded. with people who have requests that we just can't get to and they live that way. So we've got someone else who's interested in setting the group up. Would you also be interested in helping out? And I was like, yeah, of course, whatever I can do. They put me in touch with a lady called Kelly Walsh who became vital to my meeting Krista and also became a very good friend. She'd had an experience after trying to commit suicide. She visited seven different realms during this experience and came back with a message that like -minded souls would come together to change the world. And she also came back with this idea of a character called the Positivity Princess. So she was the embodiment of the Positivity Princess. And she wanted to find a way of getting souls to connect as, you know, she'd been given this task, I suppose, with her experience. So we got to know each other.

34:37 And she was like, well, I find it very useful on Facebook with the near -death groups on there. Are you on Facebook? And at the time, I'd come away from it. I'd been off Facebook for a couple of years. And I was like, I'm not really sure. I didn't really have a good experience last time. And she was like, oh, no, no, honestly, this is totally different. These people are lovely. And they're from all over the world. So I set up another profile. I got onto Facebook and after a short time I've been on there, she said, I want to set up my own group called the Positivity Power Movement. Will you help me? Yeah, of course. What do I do? So she said, well, who do you already know from the near death family? And I knew a few people by then. I was like, well, can you invite those people? And she said, I'll invite people that I know. So we invited, you know, lots of different people to this group. And when we got a nice little group of people, you know, from America and Canada and different parts of the UK, we were given the task of creating videos, you know, talking about who, you know, briefly, who are you? And, you know, what experience have you had? And, you know, what is it that you want to do to change the world? Other people had done their videos and everyone was like, oh, this is great. And likes and loves and lots of, you know. Lots of love was shared about what they put out there, and you're so brave, and it was almost like a big round of applause for everyone.

35:54 I did a video that I felt really strongly about and got no likes. As far as I was aware, no views, no loves, no comments, and nothing. So my ego was hurt a little bit. But I didn't realize that someone had watched the video, had watched the video a few times. And that person was Krista. Now she said... the the energy of the video you know certainly with me being a you know a big guy you know big roughy toughy cop talking about love and compassion she said it hit like hit her like a freight train and she was like who is this guy i think she watched it five or six times and just couldn't get over the energy of the video and how it struck her she did a video and i had a similar feeling so you know we shared a few messages here and there, and began to develop a relationship, a friendship online. It took us about nine months because, like I said before, with where we were in our lives, it wasn't conducive to anything else other than a long -distance friendship. But as time went on, things changed.

37:01 My marriage ended, her marriage ended a little bit later on than that, and it was like... Maybe there is something here, maybe there's a reason why these things are happening and we still are in touch, albeit that I drew away a few times. But by the end of 2015, she decided she wanted to come to the UK to visit me. So she came over and if I didn't already know how I felt, I certainly knew when she finally came off the plane and was stood in front of me. I always say it's like one of those magic movie moments where everyone disappears. Bearing in mind, I'm in Manchester. airport. Part of the airport was my police force's responsibility, so I knew the airport quite well.

37:41 But when she was stood there, everyone else disappeared. It was like the room dimmed. We shared a kiss, and I couldn't find my car. I was that overwhelmed with the energy of who she was. It stood in front of me finally, after spending nine or 10 months just talking to each other like we are now. Yeah, I couldn't find my car. She had to actually find my car for me, and she'd never been there. So I knew there was something special. and after probably six months to a year after that I had a series of really very deep meditations where I was brought back into my experience. So I was brought back to the cloud space, I was brought back to the carpenter and you know at the point where he asked me whether I would allowing him to speak through me. He showed me my omnipresence, so there'd been a number of other me's that had also come to this point, where they'd, you know, for different reasons, they'd died and passed on, and they'd been given the same, you know, request. Would you allow me to do that? And they'd, for some reason, they'd all chosen to stay. Part of it was that I was given a ball of energy, and this ball of energy was everything that I...

38:53 was going to be. Everything that I'd been up to that point, everything that was going to be, all of the decisions that I was going to make, all of the interactions that I was going to have, all of the hurt that I would cause, I would feel that it was almost like a life review without having lived that life. And initially I didn't want to go back either. It's like, if I'm going to have to be this person, I don't want to do that. I don't want to hurt people. You know, not physically hurt people, but emotionally hurt people. with how it was and you know gave that back and it's like oh no I'm not sure but I was given time to feel it through and I was brought into a space where I was sat on a moss covered rock next to a lake and the lake water was lapping against the shore and I realized that the lake water was like love so it was drawing over the shore so you know you get covered with this love every now and again and sometimes the the water has to be drawn back. and is that there's a case of not being fearful of that love drawing back because all it's doing is it's just taking a layer of view that isn't necessary away so it's as it does with the shoreline it takes a little bit of the shoreline away every time it draws back and I realized that the lake was like love and that's how love works and I felt like I'd made a decision so I was brought back and rather than the carpenter being stood there it was a female energy this time who was in his place and the female energy said hello my love you don't know me yet but if you choose to go back

40:24 I want you to do me a favor I want you to come find me after that I immediately woke up from my meditation and I immediately knew who that was and it was it was Krista so we had found each other and again like I said earlier on where I realized that being given too much information at the wrong times would have maybe led me to completely miss the turnpike for us meeting. It was at that moment where I realized that all of that was necessary for us to have that meeting. And then after that, we discovered all of the other synchronicities that put us in touch with each other. Why on earth did she know Kelly?

41:04 Well, when I mentioned about the book by Dr. Penny Satori, Kelly at the time was very interested in trying to write her own book and had contacted Penny Satori in the UK. Krista had already written her book and was interested in UK publishers because she wanted to publish internationally and had written to Penny Sottori. Penny Sottori's inbox at the time was about 14 or 15 thousand emails and she just didn't have the time to read any of them. But she chose to read Krista's and she chose to read Kelly's and for some reason she decided that they should connect. So Penny connected Krista with Kelly. Obviously I was connected with Kelly. Kelly invited Krista to the Positivity Para movement and then Krista watched my video. So there's all of those things that put us in touch with each other and again you know I didn't realize at the time the importance of that until when we met and you know we really realized that there was a love there and then I had that remembering of the fact that her energy was the reason why I chose to come back and it's yeah it's mind -blowing it still blows my mind to this day she's just as special to me now as she ever has been and you know we very often sometimes we'll just look at each other and it just I don't know it brings us to a space whatever's going on you know when we were struggling on Maui that's what got us through again we realized we were there for a reason we were there for the fires so for some reason our energies were there to help and we knew When it was time to

42:34 go, it was time to go. The island invited us there and she also invited us to leave and luckily we were very gracious to listen and I think that's a testament to the help that we've been for each other. We're very reflective of each other. I see myself in her and she sees herself in me. I don't want to go too much into her personal life but she's always felt as though she was very difficult to be around and because she's always been so sensitive. with energies and you know she's very empathic and I don't find it difficult to be around at all and I never have been and it's like I don't understand why you've ever thought that and if anyone else has ever thought that then they need the head testing because she's so easy to be around. Maybe that's because I love her but you know it's like this it's a constant choice for us to evolve with each other. and you know we keep having to choose that and there's times where I change and she has to choose whether she changes as well and then she changes and I choose whether I change as well and luckily so far we've we've changed together and hopefully that will continue that wow we don't get love stories on this show very often thank you for sharing all of that we need to wrap up before we do I want to go back to ask just one question, and that is you mentioned meeting your grandfather, someone who died before you were born. How did you know who he was? I'd seen pictures of him growing up. You know, my mom still had pictures. So when he was there, and obviously, you know, certainly with The interesting thing is that I was a 13 -year -old and I was

44:05 also a 34 -year -old at the same time. So being in that ambulance situation, it was immediately apparent to me that it was him from the photographs that I remember and the energy of him as well. I then recognized that there's been a number of times where he has been there and I had a spiritual medium tell me a year or so before I had the therapy that he was one of my guides and he was very strongly with me. So yeah, it was an easy energy -recognizing energy. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much fear of death do you have? Very little. I deal with death a lot. With the force I worked for in the UK, we covered the railway network. And unfortunately, when people are in a place where they struggle, the easiest way to end your life is being hit by a train. So I dealt with that a lot. You know, in Maui, we dealt with suicides and overdoses.

44:59 all sorts of things. I've had my own profound experience with cancer back in 2018, just after Krista and I got married. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, which is obviously very treatable, very healable. But once I'd had the initial consult and had the initial operation to take out the cancer, it was the left testicle that was affected, so that was taken out. I went back in for my second consultation, which should have been Yeah, we've taken the cancer out. There's nothing else in your body, but we need to do step A, B, and C, whatever that might be, because there's two different types of cancer it can be. It can be a seminoma or a non -seminoma. Very briefly, a seminoma is the most mild form, which is very treatable just with one course of chemotherapy.

45:46 The other one is a little bit more difficult because it can be a mixture of cancers, and it has to be treated with a little bit more aggressive cycles of treatment. But both are very treatable. I, going in there expecting to hear that, wasn't expecting for there to be a different specialist in there turning around to me and saying that we firmly believe that you've got lymphoma. And we're very rarely wrong. Sorry for the bad news, but don't ask me any questions because it's not my specialty. You're going to have to wait for your hematology appointment. See you later. So I'm left with that very, you know, I wasn't even sure whether I should be devastated at the time because it didn't mean anything to me. Well, again, me being me, I went on to Mr. Google and found out that for someone of my age at the time in my late 30s, having a lymphoma with a primary presentation in the testicle meant that I had an end -stage autoimmune disease like HIV and that it was a death sentence. So there was nothing, there was no media, there was no research that had been done which told me anything different because there wasn't anything there. So as far as I was concerned, I'd gone from being told I had cancer, which should have been very treatable, to being told that I might not be here. I had to face that. And, you know, there was a little bit of time where I was initially scared, but it wasn't scared of the death so much. It was the fear of how I'd impacted others because if I'd have had an end stage and had it been something like HIV, first of all, where had I contracted

47:18 it from? And... that would have affected my ex -wife. I certainly would have passed it on to my daughter. And then how would that have affected Krista, who's only just got married? And all of these things were going through my head. And it boiled down to me having a moment where I, you know, sent Krista a message. She was working in the ER. You know, I said, I think I've done something a little bit stupid. I've gone onto Google and I found out all of these horrible things. And she phoned me back as soon as she could. And she was like, listen, first of all, I don't believe that the diagnosis, even though it's like a strong diagnosis, I don't believe that. Secondly, I love you. Completely floored me. Because why would she, if I'd have had these things and that would have affected her, why would she still? But she did. And she said, look, it really doesn't matter. If I have to quit my job and come live with you in the UK, I will.

48:17 For whatever time we have if I can bring you over here and you could be treated here then same thing We'll just do it. So it's that point where it's like, okay, so I have a very definite choice either choose fear and allow that to rule whatever life I might have left or I just have to trust and choose love so I chose love about two or three days later I had a phone call from a nurse practitioner in the haematology department. I'd spoken to her previously and she understood my situation, you know, with the long distance relationship and, you know, the fact that I had planned on convalescing in Florida for a period of weeks and that I needed to be there because Krista's daughter, Maggie... had just turned 18 and I had a very special present to give her.

49:08 So she said, well, look, you know, let's have this meeting that's going to discuss your case. I will advocate for you and I'll see what I can do, but don't hold your breath because if you are very ill, then we're going to need to start very aggressive treatment immediately. So I have this phone call. The nurse practitioner spoke to me and I immediately realized that she sounded quite chirpy, but I wasn't quite sure why because I was expecting bad news. And she was like, oh, Mr. Dreggold. Yeah, so we've had this meeting and I know that we said that we're very rarely wrong, but on this occasion we have been. The hematology department have looked at your slides, they've looked at the CT scan that you had and the initial fear was that you had some lymph nodes that were slightly swollen. Well, they're not anywhere near as swollen as they would be for us to be afraid. They need to be a centimeter or bigger and they weren't anywhere near that.

50:00 and the slides it appears that there was a fault with one of the slides and we've cleaned all that up and actually yes you still have had cancer but you've had the most mild form which is a teminoma. So I went from you might not be here in a few months to you've got the rest of your life. That must have been a long few days. Yes. you know, in the end, it was worth it. I was actually out with my mum and we were out at a health food store in a local town. She's great. When she's on a mission to help heal people, she is on a mission. So she'd done a load of research. She was looking at the diet that would help me through aggressive chemotherapy. And we'd gone to this place, especially to look for certain foods that would help me to, you know, keep my strength up. And I got this phone call and I said, Mom, I'm just gonna have to go outside.

50:48 And I went outside and had this phone call. And in the middle of time, this, you know, big burly guy burst into tears and, you know, tears of happiness and gathered myself together and phoned Krista. And, you know, with the time difference, it was quite early in the morning here. So, you know, I phoned her and she answered straight away. And I said, I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. Rather than missing Maggie's birthday, I was able to be here. So, yeah, it was a whirlwind. But that's that thing with death. It's like I wasn't really afraid of the death. It was the consequences of how that death might happen. I realized then that the best thing to do in any circumstance is to choose the most loving thing. What's the most loving thing to do? What's the most loving thing to do for myself? And it certainly isn't to be afraid. Hey, Ainsley, thank you for sharing all this with us today. My pleasure. Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share your near -death experience or if you have questions or comments about the show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.