He Said, "Open Your Eyes" - Elena Wakes After NDE And 8.5 Years Catatonic

WEBVTT

00:00:03.819 --> 00:00:06.719
From the time that they pronounced me that was

00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:10.279
a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then

00:00:10.279 --> 00:00:13.619
they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I

00:00:13.619 --> 00:00:17.140
could see people screaming and crying But I didn't

00:00:17.140 --> 00:00:19.719
realize that was actually my physical body because

00:00:19.719 --> 00:00:22.839
I was somewhere else The only thing that I could

00:00:22.839 --> 00:00:26.839
feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace

00:00:26.839 --> 00:00:29.859
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

00:00:29.859 --> 00:00:32.880
greeted by people I had known in the past I'm

00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:36.259
back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at

00:00:36.259 --> 00:00:41.520
home. I'd like to welcome to the show today.

00:00:42.119 --> 00:00:44.640
Wow, this is going to be fun and unusual. Ricky

00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:48.020
Joe Nyer and Elena Bendis. Good morning. How

00:00:48.020 --> 00:00:52.439
are you two? Good morning. Hi. Pretty good. Great.

00:00:52.560 --> 00:00:55.200
Thank you for having us. Well, thank you for

00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:58.950
reaching out to the show and trusting us. to

00:00:58.950 --> 00:01:01.429
talk about this experience because I know it's

00:01:01.429 --> 00:01:04.890
not gonna be easy and it's gonna bring up some

00:01:04.890 --> 00:01:07.150
memories that might be a little tough. You know,

00:01:07.290 --> 00:01:10.489
sometimes I give our listeners a little bit of

00:01:10.489 --> 00:01:14.590
background at this point in the show as to what

00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:17.230
kind of an NDE are we gonna be talking about

00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:20.209
and this is gonna be an experience that you've

00:01:20.209 --> 00:01:23.329
never heard before and it's less about an NDE

00:01:23.329 --> 00:01:27.370
and more about, well, you'll just have to see.

00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:30.920
but take it from me, it's going to be super interesting

00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:33.840
and heartfelt. Wow, did I pump you up enough,

00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:38.859
guys? Yeah. Well, it certainly is an NDE, near

00:01:38.859 --> 00:01:42.659
-death experience. Yes. And there's so many definitions

00:01:42.659 --> 00:01:45.200
of near -death experiences. You know what, before

00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:49.239
we jump in, could you, Ricky, just give me a

00:01:49.239 --> 00:01:52.040
one minute sort of, without getting into the

00:01:52.040 --> 00:01:55.540
story yet, just tell us who you are. where you

00:01:55.540 --> 00:01:58.280
live, just a little bit about you. So we realize

00:01:58.280 --> 00:02:01.799
you're not some AI or something out there. Oh,

00:02:01.799 --> 00:02:04.560
sure. I'm as real as can be. My name is Ricky

00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:07.859
Jo Nyer and I live in the Upper Peninsula of

00:02:07.859 --> 00:02:11.479
Michigan, also known as the UP. My husband and

00:02:11.479 --> 00:02:15.759
I live in the woods. I am a wedding officiant

00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.400
and a classically trained singer. So I sing as

00:02:19.400 --> 00:02:21.639
the bride walks down the aisle and then I marry

00:02:21.639 --> 00:02:24.810
the couple, which has been really fun. And the

00:02:24.810 --> 00:02:27.330
other part of my life is I have been a caregiver

00:02:27.330 --> 00:02:30.949
for my mother, Elena. She had a head injury eight

00:02:30.949 --> 00:02:34.349
and a half years, well nine years now, and I

00:02:34.349 --> 00:02:37.330
became her primary caregiver. So that's a very

00:02:37.330 --> 00:02:39.969
big part of my life. But yeah, I live up there

00:02:39.969 --> 00:02:43.530
and I'm now down in Illinois here with my mom.

00:02:43.710 --> 00:02:47.509
When did you move there? About five years ago.

00:02:47.800 --> 00:02:51.379
Sounds like a beautiful place. So Elena go ahead

00:02:51.379 --> 00:02:55.340
and explain why the sunglasses Well, I'm very

00:02:55.340 --> 00:03:01.699
sensitive to light and sound so normally Well,

00:03:01.699 --> 00:03:06.020
I think at one time I had headphones Because

00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:10.360
sound really affects me. Yeah. Well and Ricky

00:03:10.360 --> 00:03:14.460
is here to narrate the majority of the story,

00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:16.639
and I think we ought to just jump right into

00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:20.479
it. So, Ricky, take us back nine years ago. What

00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:23.680
was going on? How did the accident happen? Well,

00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:28.400
before nine years ago, my mom worked at her job

00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:32.259
as a decorator for the union for 19 and a half

00:03:32.259 --> 00:03:37.039
years. She was very physically active. She ziplined,

00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:41.680
kayaked. Any obstacle was fun challenges for

00:03:41.680 --> 00:03:45.979
her. She did hard math at her job and was able

00:03:45.979 --> 00:03:50.680
to figure out complex puzzles. And then one day,

00:03:51.219 --> 00:03:54.879
a steel truss hit her head. She was coming out

00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:57.900
of a squat. She then went to the hospital, got

00:03:57.900 --> 00:04:01.500
staples, and was sent home the same day. And

00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:06.659
then after that, the sensitivity began. The confusion

00:04:06.659 --> 00:04:10.740
began. The memory loss began. And it just became

00:04:10.740 --> 00:04:14.060
a challenge. everything was overstimulating for

00:04:14.060 --> 00:04:17.899
her. Everything became debilitating. She couldn't

00:04:17.899 --> 00:04:21.459
leave the house. She started to overflow the

00:04:21.459 --> 00:04:24.339
bathtub, forget that it's running, lock herself

00:04:24.339 --> 00:04:27.420
out to go check the mail. Little things like

00:04:27.420 --> 00:04:30.600
that started showing us that she wasn't capable

00:04:30.600 --> 00:04:34.040
of living on her own. So then she moved in with

00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:37.480
my husband and I. The first four and a half years

00:04:37.480 --> 00:04:41.079
was really I would say the hardest time because

00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:43.959
we were looking for answers and all of the workman's

00:04:43.959 --> 00:04:47.420
comp doctors were not helpful. They couldn't

00:04:47.420 --> 00:04:51.160
pinpoint anything to the head injury considering

00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:57.060
she had so many symptoms. Fast forward to November

00:04:57.060 --> 00:05:01.139
in 2025, eight years, five months and eight days

00:05:01.139 --> 00:05:05.420
after the head injury, she became diagnosed with

00:05:05.420 --> 00:05:08.860
catatonia. And I'll tell you all about that story.

00:05:09.050 --> 00:05:12.509
and how we figured that out. But when we figured

00:05:12.509 --> 00:05:17.149
it out, we saw that catatonia has 23 symptoms.

00:05:17.689 --> 00:05:21.310
And what we were experiencing was we were going

00:05:21.310 --> 00:05:24.709
to different doctors for each symptom. So all

00:05:24.709 --> 00:05:27.629
of the doctors were just so overwhelmed by her

00:05:27.629 --> 00:05:31.069
because everything was just so overwhelming.

00:05:31.719 --> 00:05:35.740
Didn't you say they said I was schizophrenic?

00:05:36.060 --> 00:05:38.279
Yes, yes. So in the beginning, in the first four

00:05:38.279 --> 00:05:41.620
and a half years, she became suicidal. She wanted

00:05:41.620 --> 00:05:45.000
to end her pain. And of course, I was explaining

00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:47.920
to the doctors, she doesn't want to take her

00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:50.800
life because she's depressed. She wants to end

00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:54.860
the pain is so much for her. She developed a

00:05:54.860 --> 00:05:57.670
movement disorder that was very violent. she

00:05:57.670 --> 00:06:00.269
would shake back and forth. You could hear her

00:06:00.269 --> 00:06:02.449
neck bones popping every time she shakes her

00:06:02.449 --> 00:06:05.810
head. Rigidness, her hand became so stiff she

00:06:05.810 --> 00:06:08.750
couldn't open her hand up. They had to surgically

00:06:08.750 --> 00:06:12.470
open her hand by cutting her hand open. So looking

00:06:12.470 --> 00:06:17.930
back, we can clearly see that it was obvious

00:06:17.930 --> 00:06:23.779
what she had. To summarize it, the DSM the diagnostics

00:06:23.779 --> 00:06:27.139
book that the doctors have to read was rewritten.

00:06:27.980 --> 00:06:30.740
My mom's head injury was so close to when it

00:06:30.740 --> 00:06:33.759
was rewritten and all of her doctors had most

00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:37.040
likely read the DSM -IV. If you read the five,

00:06:37.620 --> 00:06:41.279
it's all pretty obvious in there. So anyway,

00:06:41.540 --> 00:06:46.000
where we're at now is we're able to have all

00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:47.839
these other doctors, they're going to use her

00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:51.459
case at the APA, the American Psychiatric Association

00:06:51.459 --> 00:06:55.660
in New York. And they're going to be studying

00:06:55.660 --> 00:06:59.399
my mom's case to help future doctors so that

00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:02.040
way they don't miss what eight and a half years

00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:04.920
of doctors missed. So that's the best thing that

00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:08.240
could happen. Because when we look back, it was

00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.060
obvious, it was all there, but no one knew what

00:07:12.060 --> 00:07:15.850
to look for. So if I could just ask for a little

00:07:15.850 --> 00:07:20.129
clarification here, it sounds like a traumatic

00:07:20.129 --> 00:07:23.430
brain injury that doctors just didn't really

00:07:23.430 --> 00:07:25.750
know how to diagnose. Is this a mental illness?

00:07:25.850 --> 00:07:29.269
Is this a brain injury? You can't see everything

00:07:29.269 --> 00:07:33.870
in the brain on a scan, obviously, but at what

00:07:33.870 --> 00:07:36.889
point did she seem actually catatonic? You used

00:07:36.889 --> 00:07:40.680
the term catatonia. Which when I hear that, I

00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:43.060
picture in my mind, someone that's just sitting

00:07:43.060 --> 00:07:47.000
in is 100 % out of it. How was she compared to

00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:51.079
that? Exactly. And that's how I was able to figure

00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:56.139
it out. So in November of 2025, just recently,

00:07:56.800 --> 00:07:59.839
she was picked up by an ambulance because her

00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:02.819
help, I fall in, I can't get up alert, her life

00:08:02.819 --> 00:08:05.589
alert went off. And if you don't have one, get

00:08:05.589 --> 00:08:09.209
one. It saved her life. So she was in the hospital

00:08:09.209 --> 00:08:12.709
and she was gone. She was in a stupor, is what

00:08:12.709 --> 00:08:16.730
you described, a stupor where she couldn't...

00:08:16.730 --> 00:08:19.569
Yeah, the static was there. You couldn't put

00:08:19.569 --> 00:08:22.910
it together. Her body couldn't tell her, I'm

00:08:22.910 --> 00:08:26.009
thirsty. I need a drink of water. So she was

00:08:26.009 --> 00:08:28.149
in the hospital and everything is pretty much

00:08:28.149 --> 00:08:31.889
failing. I said to the nurse, I said, I think

00:08:31.889 --> 00:08:35.250
my mom is catatonic. Because I recognize that

00:08:35.250 --> 00:08:38.850
stupor just as you said and she said no, she's

00:08:38.850 --> 00:08:41.529
definitely not catatonic She would be drooling

00:08:41.529 --> 00:08:44.309
and I said, oh, okay. Well, then I don't know

00:08:44.309 --> 00:08:47.250
what else it could be so, of course that night

00:08:47.250 --> 00:08:50.809
I went back to the house and you know just three

00:08:50.809 --> 00:08:55.169
long days of Being hopeless not having any answers

00:08:55.169 --> 00:08:58.090
and just watching her disappear her urine was

00:08:58.090 --> 00:09:01.389
the color of coffee like like nothing was working

00:09:01.389 --> 00:09:05.049
in her body the psychiatrist at the hospital

00:09:05.049 --> 00:09:08.690
the night shift psychiatrist calls me at 2 30

00:09:08.690 --> 00:09:11.450
a .m. she says what do you think is happening

00:09:11.450 --> 00:09:15.649
here and I said I think my mom is catatonic she

00:09:15.649 --> 00:09:18.830
was quiet for a second she's like I was thinking

00:09:18.830 --> 00:09:21.669
the same thing she's but does your mom have a

00:09:21.669 --> 00:09:25.350
history of this and I said no I said but everything

00:09:25.350 --> 00:09:28.350
after her head injury is new and then I explained

00:09:28.350 --> 00:09:32.110
the head injury and I said that my mom had pneumonia

00:09:32.460 --> 00:09:36.940
a few weeks before this. And so I said, maybe

00:09:36.940 --> 00:09:40.779
the pneumonia activated or kicked it in or whatever,

00:09:41.259 --> 00:09:44.919
pushed it over the edge. So then of course I

00:09:44.919 --> 00:09:47.860
asked her, I said, could we get an EEG so we

00:09:47.860 --> 00:09:50.600
could see a brain scan? She said, that's a good

00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:53.559
idea. Let's call the neurologist and get an order

00:09:53.559 --> 00:09:57.240
in. So the first thing I'm feeling was, wow,

00:09:57.240 --> 00:10:00.240
she didn't dismiss me. Eight and a half years

00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:03.429
of being dismissed, because nobody knows anything.

00:10:03.769 --> 00:10:07.129
And what do I know? I'm not a doctor. So the

00:10:07.129 --> 00:10:11.169
next morning, I go to the hospital and my mom

00:10:11.169 --> 00:10:13.970
is gone. She's completely gone. They are performing

00:10:13.970 --> 00:10:17.870
the EEG. The doctor has a camera on her. My sister

00:10:17.870 --> 00:10:21.490
and I are there. He asks us to talk to her. He

00:10:21.490 --> 00:10:23.490
says, ask her some questions, you know, so they

00:10:23.490 --> 00:10:26.389
can see the activity going on. We're like, hi,

00:10:26.490 --> 00:10:28.870
mom. Just asking her, do you know where you are?

00:10:28.909 --> 00:10:32.820
Are you okay? And she's just... Gone. Lifeless,

00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:37.000
really. No life in her eyes. Then they come into

00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:40.659
the room and they inject Ativan into her arm.

00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:45.039
Lorazepam. It's called the challenge. The Ativan

00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:47.159
challenge, which we did not know anything of

00:10:47.159 --> 00:10:51.399
this before. So they inject her arm and she goes

00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:56.899
from this to Ricky and she calls on myself and

00:10:56.899 --> 00:11:00.950
my sister and she's... Life enters her eyes and

00:11:00.950 --> 00:11:05.389
she just becomes awake. It's all on camera. It

00:11:05.389 --> 00:11:08.570
was just the most amazing thing. After that,

00:11:08.590 --> 00:11:12.610
she was able to recite her name and her birthday

00:11:12.610 --> 00:11:15.090
for the first time in eight and a half years.

00:11:15.830 --> 00:11:20.970
The next day, she read a fortune cookie. For

00:11:20.970 --> 00:11:23.210
the first time in eight and a half years, she

00:11:23.210 --> 00:11:26.230
was able to read. And then, another miracle,

00:11:26.409 --> 00:11:29.629
she was able to walk. unassisted without her

00:11:29.629 --> 00:11:32.009
walker for the first time in eight and a half

00:11:32.009 --> 00:11:36.610
years. And then she explains to me the dream

00:11:36.610 --> 00:11:39.990
that she had where God spoke to her and woke

00:11:39.990 --> 00:11:45.330
her up. I'm going to cry. Just, yeah, amazing

00:11:45.330 --> 00:11:48.210
stuff. I haven't heard of the Ativan challenge.

00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:50.850
Is that something that they try for people that

00:11:50.850 --> 00:11:53.769
are catatonic? Yeah, apparently for catatonia,

00:11:54.330 --> 00:11:58.120
you do the Ativan challenge. That is basically

00:11:58.120 --> 00:12:01.559
the number one thing that they can use to say

00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:04.379
this is catatonia because it had this effect.

00:12:04.820 --> 00:12:07.240
The Ativan brought her back so they can easily

00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:12.019
say she was she was catatonic. That's the only

00:12:12.019 --> 00:12:15.379
way. Well, not really. That was the way that

00:12:15.379 --> 00:12:18.720
we knew of then. And then, of course, I went

00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.039
back to her psychiatrist, her current psychiatrist.

00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:25.360
And I explained to her what's going on. I told

00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:28.000
him what's going on in the hospital. And I told

00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:30.100
him of the Ativan challenge. And that's when

00:12:30.100 --> 00:12:33.940
he said, this sounds like catatonia. He says,

00:12:34.299 --> 00:12:37.480
we should do an evaluation. It's called the Bush

00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:41.000
-Francis Catatonia Rating Scale. I'll repeat

00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:44.419
that. The Bush -Francis Catatonia Rating Scale.

00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:48.220
And it's basically an evaluation that they give

00:12:48.220 --> 00:12:52.409
her. And in that evaluation, they can determine

00:12:52.409 --> 00:12:56.389
if she is catatonic or not. And she was catatonic.

00:12:57.970 --> 00:13:01.649
And there's a lot more symptoms than just stupor,

00:13:01.669 --> 00:13:05.690
which most people are familiar with. Yes, because

00:13:05.690 --> 00:13:11.830
I could walk with a walker and talk, but talk

00:13:11.830 --> 00:13:18.309
different. Talk slow and talk different. It's

00:13:18.309 --> 00:13:23.190
not... that you don't move and you're just drooling.

00:13:23.429 --> 00:13:27.590
That's not the only symptom. They said that there

00:13:27.590 --> 00:13:33.330
are so many different symptoms of catatonia that

00:13:33.330 --> 00:13:37.190
people don't realize, doctors don't realize.

00:13:38.250 --> 00:13:40.169
Yeah, so now they're going to be learning from

00:13:40.169 --> 00:13:42.309
her case, which is the most extraordinary thing

00:13:42.309 --> 00:13:46.590
of it all. It basically confirms that her pain

00:13:46.590 --> 00:13:49.340
and suffering won't go in vain. Other people

00:13:49.340 --> 00:13:51.100
are going to learn from this and potentially

00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:55.559
be spared. So the other craziness before we get

00:13:55.559 --> 00:13:59.720
to her dream, I have to tell you, for as long

00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:02.899
as I could remember before her injury, my mother

00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:06.519
was my best friend, my confidant. I would call

00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:09.860
her and I would say, hello, mother. And she would

00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:13.879
say, hello, daughter. And then when she had the

00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:16.750
injury, I would call her and I would say hello

00:14:16.750 --> 00:14:21.470
mother and she would say hi I would say that's

00:14:21.470 --> 00:14:24.769
not my mother eight and a half years I would

00:14:24.769 --> 00:14:26.830
still call her like that because it was just

00:14:26.830 --> 00:14:29.950
what I did and then she would just continue saying

00:14:29.950 --> 00:14:33.889
hi hi and she developed an accent she had an

00:14:33.889 --> 00:14:37.330
off -the -boat Italian accent for all that time

00:14:37.330 --> 00:14:40.669
we couldn't explain any of it and then when she

00:14:40.669 --> 00:14:44.559
came back to us She was now in the nursing home

00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:47.500
in the rehabilitation place and she's getting

00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:50.019
the therapies that she needs directly out of

00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:52.919
the hospital. She was in the hospital for probably

00:14:52.919 --> 00:14:55.500
about a week and then after that went into the

00:14:55.500 --> 00:15:01.159
rehab. So I called my mom and I just said, hello,

00:15:01.340 --> 00:15:04.080
mother. You know, eight and a half years later,

00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:10.259
she said, hello, daughter. As if she was never

00:15:10.259 --> 00:15:15.820
gone. And so then I'm talking to her and she's

00:15:15.820 --> 00:15:20.580
bringing up these memories. And I said, what

00:15:20.580 --> 00:15:24.059
year do you think it is? And so where we're at

00:15:24.059 --> 00:15:27.899
now is that she has no recollection of the past

00:15:27.899 --> 00:15:30.220
eight and a half years. It was as if she was

00:15:30.220 --> 00:15:32.960
never even in her body. She doesn't remember

00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.639
the movement as bad as it was. She doesn't remember

00:15:35.639 --> 00:15:38.139
being in the nursing homes. She doesn't remember

00:15:38.139 --> 00:15:42.679
being in hospice or having home health for five

00:15:42.679 --> 00:15:45.720
years. Instead she looks in the mirror and she

00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.500
doesn't recognize the body that she's in. For

00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:50.480
eight and a half years she was never able to

00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:54.059
get teeth work done because she had to get put

00:15:54.059 --> 00:15:56.940
to sleep just to get an x -ray. She had to be

00:15:56.940 --> 00:15:59.039
put to sleep for every tiny little thing because

00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:02.580
her movement was so severe. It never stopped.

00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:07.139
The suffering never stopped until now. And some

00:16:07.139 --> 00:16:09.220
days are better than others. She still suffers,

00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:13.919
but nowhere near as bad. And now she's happy.

00:16:14.379 --> 00:16:18.559
So before the first four and a half years, she

00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:22.600
became suicidal. In my opinion, I believe that

00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:25.879
brought her into the mental illness realm and...

00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:29.700
they saw depression, they saw anxiety, they saw

00:16:29.700 --> 00:16:34.399
paranoia. But if you are, if you were me and

00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:39.759
your head was flipping down and back as far as

00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:44.379
it could go and it would go so hard, the more

00:16:44.379 --> 00:16:49.320
it would happen, the harder your head would do

00:16:49.320 --> 00:16:52.740
that and your neck felt like it was just going

00:16:52.740 --> 00:16:57.570
to snap. Who wouldn't be depressed? Well sure.

00:16:58.070 --> 00:17:02.450
I don't remember that but I saw the video you

00:17:02.450 --> 00:17:08.950
sent to me and that video Said it all to me Like

00:17:08.950 --> 00:17:11.750
who in the heck wouldn't want to kill themselves?

00:17:12.049 --> 00:17:14.269
Within the first four and a half years we were

00:17:14.269 --> 00:17:17.569
seeking answers and help any kind of help that

00:17:17.569 --> 00:17:22.569
we could have got but We we saw a neuropsychiatrist

00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:27.720
and she told us that this is psychiatric, that

00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:30.660
she just needs counseling. And of course I said,

00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:33.240
well, what about her movement disorder? She said

00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:36.440
she needs counseling. So then after four and

00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.640
a half years, we had to close the workman's comp

00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:41.299
case. We were not able to prove that it was head

00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:44.359
related, head injury related. And at that point

00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:46.740
we were really just trying to get her into a

00:17:46.740 --> 00:17:49.559
comfortable place. So at that time she was never

00:17:49.559 --> 00:17:53.170
able to leave the house anymore. She became too

00:17:53.170 --> 00:17:57.109
overwhelmed to go outside. So after that, then

00:17:57.109 --> 00:17:59.609
we started getting nurses and home health here

00:17:59.609 --> 00:18:03.210
at home for her and just helped her stay as comfortable

00:18:03.210 --> 00:18:07.109
as she could be and help her not seep into a

00:18:07.109 --> 00:18:10.390
deeper darkness. So really it was five years

00:18:10.390 --> 00:18:14.039
of trying to just keep her here. So we got her

00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:18.640
a dog, Pinky, teacup Yorkie. That and my niece

00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.799
and nephew, her grandchildren, I believe, kept

00:18:21.799 --> 00:18:24.720
her here. But she's here now to share the story.

00:18:25.420 --> 00:18:28.579
Can I just say, Elena, you have an amazing daughter.

00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:32.480
Some kids would have kind of given up and thrown

00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:36.200
in the towel because it's really hard from the

00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:40.119
loved one's side too. So hats off, Ricky. That

00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:43.450
is not easy. Thank you. I do appreciate that.

00:18:43.450 --> 00:18:47.769
How long has she been back? So November 5th Will

00:18:47.769 --> 00:18:51.609
make one full year. So she's she's almost there

00:18:51.609 --> 00:18:55.410
a few months to go, but I appreciate that I would

00:18:55.410 --> 00:18:58.910
say my mother would do the same for me So I wrote

00:18:58.910 --> 00:19:02.450
a book recently and it's called do you believe

00:19:02.450 --> 00:19:05.089
in miracles our journey out of darkness and into

00:19:05.089 --> 00:19:08.930
the light? And I wrote this book for my mom so

00:19:08.930 --> 00:19:13.049
she could have these memories always and to enlighten

00:19:13.049 --> 00:19:17.170
people in the dark areas and for the caregivers

00:19:17.170 --> 00:19:21.490
how I survived and how I got through and for

00:19:21.490 --> 00:19:23.890
the people who want to give up and the people

00:19:23.890 --> 00:19:26.630
who love someone who want to give up. There's

00:19:26.630 --> 00:19:29.230
a little something in there for everyone, but

00:19:29.230 --> 00:19:32.589
ultimately if I would have given up on her and

00:19:32.589 --> 00:19:34.670
put her into a nursing home and left her there,

00:19:34.930 --> 00:19:37.849
she wouldn't have come back. If she would have

00:19:37.849 --> 00:19:40.839
given up, After all that time, she wouldn't have

00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:42.779
come back. Now I don't know if everyone gets

00:19:42.779 --> 00:19:45.799
a miracle, but I do know, how would you know

00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:50.019
if you don't keep trying, if you give up? Yeah.

00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:54.819
After eight and a half long dark years. You don't

00:19:54.819 --> 00:19:58.900
know if there's an end to the tunnel. Is this

00:19:58.900 --> 00:20:02.140
going to go on forever or what? And that just,

00:20:02.140 --> 00:20:04.420
that makes it that much more difficult. Yeah.

00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:07.720
It was endless at the time. All right, you've

00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:10.440
mentioned the term dream. We've mentioned the

00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:14.480
term NDE. Let's jump into that now. So tell me

00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:16.980
what happened and whichever one of you would

00:20:16.980 --> 00:20:21.859
prefer to describe it. Well, I remember more

00:20:21.859 --> 00:20:26.240
things or different things than Ricky does because

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:30.119
Ricky recorded this. But can you please look

00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:34.119
at my pictures and pull up some pictures of what

00:20:34.119 --> 00:20:37.660
I look like before. Oh yeah, I'm actually sharing

00:20:37.660 --> 00:20:39.880
that with him and he has the ability to see all

00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:43.700
of that. Oh great, great. And then for those

00:20:43.700 --> 00:20:46.160
that are watching the video version of the interview,

00:20:46.519 --> 00:20:49.440
if we can, we'll stick a couple of those pictures

00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.140
up here in the middle. Yeah, that'd be nice.

00:20:52.700 --> 00:20:58.079
I had this dream that I was hearing thunder.

00:20:58.299 --> 00:21:03.200
It was the most loud thunder I've ever heard

00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.819
and it was just like boom boom boom boom boom

00:21:06.819 --> 00:21:12.220
and it was so loud and that's what woke me up

00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:17.980
not woke up that they can see but woke me up

00:21:17.980 --> 00:21:23.519
out of what I thought I was sleeping I heard

00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:29.940
him say, and his voice was so deep, the deepest

00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:34.299
voice that, I mean, imagine the deepest voice

00:21:34.299 --> 00:21:38.299
you've ever heard, but it's deeper than that.

00:21:38.420 --> 00:21:43.000
It was hard to understand that's how deep his

00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:49.400
voice was. And he said, I am your father. And

00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:54.279
he said, listen to me and I will get you out

00:21:54.279 --> 00:22:00.039
of here. I alone can wake you up. I alone can

00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:05.200
help you. And I was just like, what the heck?

00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:11.500
I thought I was awake, but I wasn't awake. And

00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:14.200
I was just kind of like looking around like,

00:22:14.460 --> 00:22:18.480
is anybody else hearing this? But I couldn't

00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:23.440
see anything. It was like pitch black. It's not

00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:28.460
like I saw a light or something like that. I

00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:32.319
didn't see anything like that. It was just pitch

00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:37.980
black and it was thundering and it was like I

00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:42.039
was in the middle of the street and it was thunderstorming

00:22:42.039 --> 00:22:46.809
but there was no rain. He just said I am your

00:22:46.809 --> 00:22:55.269
Father. I am your Savior. And I alone can help

00:22:55.269 --> 00:22:59.950
you out. I knew it was God then. I just knew

00:22:59.950 --> 00:23:05.069
it. I said, I will follow you anywhere. I will

00:23:05.069 --> 00:23:09.289
listen to you whatever you want me to do. I will

00:23:09.289 --> 00:23:12.190
listen. Wow, that's really good memory, Mom.

00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:19.299
It's pretty accurate. It's it's very It's very

00:23:19.299 --> 00:23:27.519
overwhelming Because um I said Either I said

00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:31.599
it or he said I'll take the wheel Or something

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:35.019
like that or I said take the wheel and I will

00:23:35.019 --> 00:23:39.880
let you drive I don't remember All I know is

00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:45.180
he he was telling me open your eyes And I was

00:23:45.180 --> 00:23:49.440
afraid, not afraid that he was going to lead

00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:53.660
me in the wrong direction. I was just afraid.

00:23:54.119 --> 00:24:01.279
It was kind of like I, like I knew that I was

00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:06.559
asleep in a sleep that I couldn't get out of.

00:24:08.019 --> 00:24:12.480
He said, open your eyes again. And then I opened

00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:19.210
my eyes. And then I saw my daughters. And I said,

00:24:19.269 --> 00:24:22.490
I can't say her name because she doesn't want

00:24:22.490 --> 00:24:25.910
her name added. She wants her privacy. My other

00:24:25.910 --> 00:24:29.569
sister. Right. She wants her privacy. But I said

00:24:29.569 --> 00:24:35.089
her name. And then I said, Ricky. They were like,

00:24:35.690 --> 00:24:42.170
Mom. And then I knew he brought me back. And

00:24:42.170 --> 00:24:46.259
Ricky was like, We thought you died, Mom. You

00:24:46.259 --> 00:24:50.980
were dying. And I said I did die. But he brought

00:24:50.980 --> 00:24:57.059
me back. It's okay. Take your time. This was

00:24:57.059 --> 00:25:02.619
not... This was not something that... I was...

00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:08.140
I don't remember anything about my... About my

00:25:08.140 --> 00:25:12.559
head injury. I don't remember anything about

00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:17.259
that. When she came back to us, she mentioned,

00:25:17.579 --> 00:25:21.000
I just remember going to work and that was her

00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:26.180
last memory. I know that they were trying to

00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:31.640
force me to quit my job and they were doing some

00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:34.759
terrible things to me. Yeah, she received a lot

00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:38.039
of abuse from her coworkers at her job. Because

00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:43.579
they were trying to get me to quit my job. I

00:25:43.579 --> 00:25:47.900
just wanted to, I don't remember, get to something

00:25:47.900 --> 00:25:53.000
and then I was gonna quit. I don't remember what

00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:54.960
it was. Yeah, she was waiting to get her 20 -year

00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:58.359
pension. Her head injury happened five months

00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:00.720
before her 20 -year pension and then her job

00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:03.559
never honored it. It was really an awful time.

00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:07.720
But I did record the entire dream that she had

00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.680
and she explained it all to me on video. I just

00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:12.859
thought it was too big to keep to myself. You

00:26:12.859 --> 00:26:16.960
know, I wanted to hold on to this. And the video

00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:19.960
is pretty accurate. Her memory was pretty accurate.

00:26:20.339 --> 00:26:22.920
Let me ask you this. Let me ask you kind of a

00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:26.980
hard question. Because some people take dreams

00:26:26.980 --> 00:26:30.480
really seriously. Other people don't. And you

00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:33.289
say dream and they're like... I mean, like a

00:26:33.289 --> 00:26:36.869
lot of my dreams are just silly. You know, they

00:26:36.869 --> 00:26:40.410
don't mean anything. This sounds like much more,

00:26:40.470 --> 00:26:43.210
much, much more than just something like that.

00:26:43.569 --> 00:26:47.109
What is the difference between this and just

00:26:47.109 --> 00:26:50.410
some regular old silly dream? You know what?

00:26:50.410 --> 00:26:52.650
I actually asked her that when she came and told

00:26:52.650 --> 00:26:55.150
me all that. And she said, this wasn't a dream.

00:26:55.250 --> 00:27:01.420
This was a meeting. This was not a dream. This

00:27:01.420 --> 00:27:07.299
was something that really It's kind of like the

00:27:07.299 --> 00:27:12.380
only way I can explain it is Like we're talking

00:27:12.380 --> 00:27:16.519
right now Right. It was very real. That's the

00:27:16.519 --> 00:27:20.359
difference like last night. I had this dream

00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:24.519
That Ricky and Pinky left without me to go see

00:27:24.519 --> 00:27:29.819
my mom. That was a dream That's totally different

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:33.160
So what name should we put on this? Ricky, have

00:27:33.160 --> 00:27:35.480
you thought about this? If we're not going to

00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:37.920
call this a dream, because your mom was just

00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:40.299
saying how real this was, what should we call

00:27:40.299 --> 00:27:44.299
an experience like this? I believe it was a meeting.

00:27:45.099 --> 00:27:49.240
I believe it was divine. The one thing that she

00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:52.380
forgot to mention was when he said, give me the

00:27:52.380 --> 00:27:55.839
wheel and you'll be redeemed. And then she said,

00:27:55.900 --> 00:27:59.319
I'll give you the wheel and I'll follow you.

00:27:59.660 --> 00:28:04.440
And then he said, open your eyes. And she said,

00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:06.640
and then I opened my eyes and you guys were standing

00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:10.279
right there. She mentioned that part. What do

00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:12.579
you think it meant? Give me the wheel and then

00:28:12.579 --> 00:28:16.779
you'll be redeemed. I think that because I've

00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:23.119
never really been religious. I grew up as a Jehovah

00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:27.319
witness and I'm not bashing Jehovah witnesses.

00:28:28.029 --> 00:28:33.049
But I grew up as a, I think as a kid because

00:28:33.049 --> 00:28:38.869
my sister told me that. And I didn't know she

00:28:38.869 --> 00:28:43.049
was my sister, but I believe my daughters and

00:28:43.049 --> 00:28:46.529
they're the ones that told me. Yes, and also

00:28:46.529 --> 00:28:49.410
she didn't want to raise her daughters us as

00:28:49.410 --> 00:28:52.589
Jehovah's Witness. I didn't want to raise them

00:28:52.589 --> 00:28:55.450
with any religion. Yeah, she wanted us to find

00:28:55.450 --> 00:28:59.029
our own faith and not be forced into it. Yeah,

00:28:59.369 --> 00:29:03.849
I hate to say that I didn't believe in God. I

00:29:03.849 --> 00:29:07.309
always believed that there was a higher power,

00:29:08.009 --> 00:29:12.430
but what was that higher power? I didn't have

00:29:12.430 --> 00:29:17.750
a name for it. I really didn't know. And I didn't

00:29:17.750 --> 00:29:22.230
follow a religion. I didn't go to any church.

00:29:22.250 --> 00:29:27.089
I didn't do any of that. I just felt like you

00:29:27.089 --> 00:29:30.049
don't know who to believe. You know, you don't

00:29:30.049 --> 00:29:34.670
know who to believe now. And even I think, like

00:29:34.670 --> 00:29:39.750
my daughter just said, that I didn't force religion

00:29:39.750 --> 00:29:43.200
on I knew I didn't, huh? Right, but then when

00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:46.660
she came back to us, she walked for the first

00:29:46.660 --> 00:29:50.400
time without assistance. And then she gets back

00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.099
into her bed and before her one hand was not

00:29:53.099 --> 00:29:55.480
available, it was like a stroke -like symptoms.

00:29:55.579 --> 00:29:58.519
Half of her body was pretty much paralyzed. Yeah,

00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:02.940
but you could tell, I don't know if you could

00:30:02.940 --> 00:30:10.309
see it, but that's how clamped my hand was. It

00:30:10.309 --> 00:30:13.910
was like, I think like this. Yeah, it was shut.

00:30:14.609 --> 00:30:16.670
Well, so what happened was when she came back

00:30:16.670 --> 00:30:19.829
to us after she walked for the first time, she

00:30:19.829 --> 00:30:22.130
gets back into her bed and she takes both of

00:30:22.130 --> 00:30:25.589
her hands and says, praise Jesus. And I said,

00:30:25.730 --> 00:30:28.490
praise Jesus. Mom, you know, she'd never said

00:30:28.490 --> 00:30:30.549
that before. And I was just like, what are you

00:30:30.549 --> 00:30:33.049
talking about? And that's when she goes to explain

00:30:33.049 --> 00:30:37.869
the dream. I don't really have a memory. So much

00:30:37.869 --> 00:30:42.950
of a memory of that I remember a few things but

00:30:42.950 --> 00:30:46.990
not everything but I'll tell you what's even

00:30:46.990 --> 00:30:53.269
more strange is Waking up. I don't know. I thought

00:30:53.269 --> 00:30:58.730
maybe I was sleeping or something I went to sleep

00:30:58.730 --> 00:31:04.849
looking one way and then when I was at the hospital

00:31:04.849 --> 00:31:11.400
I saw myself, but I didn't recognize myself.

00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:17.400
I saw somebody in the mirror and I was like,

00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:22.160
you know, who in the heck is that? And then I

00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:26.539
did a double take and I touched my face and I

00:31:26.539 --> 00:31:32.359
realized that it was me. And I still have a very

00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:38.440
tough time. dealing with that. And I also have

00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:44.359
a tough time at times, sometimes, where I will

00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:49.039
yell at God and say, why did you wake me up now?

00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:54.160
Because the last president I remember was this

00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:59.440
guy named Obama. And they were telling me that's

00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:03.500
not the president. And I was just like, what?

00:32:04.409 --> 00:32:07.930
She had a lot of catching up to do. Absolutely.

00:32:08.730 --> 00:32:12.369
A few weeks before she came back or a few months

00:32:12.369 --> 00:32:15.089
before she came back, I took her to go see her

00:32:15.089 --> 00:32:18.450
sister in hospice. My mom didn't know who she

00:32:18.450 --> 00:32:22.029
was. My mom didn't know who her own name was.

00:32:22.109 --> 00:32:24.329
She didn't know who her mother was. She didn't

00:32:24.329 --> 00:32:26.410
know who anyone was. She would say, I don't know

00:32:26.410 --> 00:32:30.130
that lady. So I took her to go and see her. And

00:32:30.130 --> 00:32:32.869
my mom took her by the hand and said, I'm really

00:32:32.869 --> 00:32:35.289
sorry this is happening to you. I'm sorry, I

00:32:35.289 --> 00:32:38.950
don't know who you are. And my aunt was very

00:32:38.950 --> 00:32:42.710
grateful that she was there. And she just was

00:32:42.710 --> 00:32:46.289
so overwhelmed with love that it was just the

00:32:46.289 --> 00:32:49.750
most beautiful and heartbreaking day. And then

00:32:49.750 --> 00:32:52.269
when my mom came back to us within a few days,

00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:55.349
I started realizing that she wasn't really there.

00:32:56.129 --> 00:32:58.710
And she didn't remember any of the past eight

00:32:58.710 --> 00:33:01.309
and a half years. So I told her, I said, mom,

00:33:01.730 --> 00:33:04.470
your sister passed away. And that's when she

00:33:04.470 --> 00:33:08.390
just started wailing. And it was the worst having

00:33:08.390 --> 00:33:11.609
to relive it twice, but for her for the first

00:33:11.609 --> 00:33:15.069
time. So in my book, I asked her, I did an interview

00:33:15.069 --> 00:33:17.289
with her, because I wanted those memories real

00:33:17.289 --> 00:33:19.690
sharp. And I asked her, I said, if you want to

00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:22.369
tell your sister anything right now, what would

00:33:22.369 --> 00:33:26.400
it be? So she has that in there. I have an interview

00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:28.960
with her so you can hear exactly how it was right

00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:32.940
then and there. And then lastly, the Ativan that

00:33:32.940 --> 00:33:35.519
brought her back that medication, she turned

00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:39.720
out to be allergic to it. So with the doctor's,

00:33:39.720 --> 00:33:42.420
the doctor monitoring and the doctor's, you know,

00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:47.160
advice, he recommended maybe we can just try

00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:51.420
hydroxazine or even Benadryl to help with the

00:33:51.420 --> 00:33:55.059
allergy. However, with the hives and the rash

00:33:55.059 --> 00:33:57.420
that she got all over her body. She was very

00:33:57.420 --> 00:34:00.420
restless. She was not able to continue the Ativan.

00:34:01.140 --> 00:34:03.359
And then shortly after that, she started relapsing

00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:06.480
really bad. So then the doctor recommended, he

00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:09.599
said, with catatonia, there's only two, really,

00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:13.500
there's only two known treatments, and that is

00:34:13.500 --> 00:34:18.940
benzodiazepine, which is Ativan, and ECT, which

00:34:18.940 --> 00:34:22.420
is electroconvulsive therapy. where they are

00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:26.420
basically simulating a seizure. Where they electrocute

00:34:26.420 --> 00:34:31.260
your brain. Yes. So at the time we were so desperate

00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:34.920
we tried another benzodiazepine, a Valium, and

00:34:34.920 --> 00:34:38.260
she was just relapsing so much even with that.

00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:42.219
So she started the ECT about six months ago and

00:34:42.219 --> 00:34:45.079
she's probably had about over 20 treatments since.

00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:49.460
So now she's at the maintenance stage. where

00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:51.659
they give it to her about every three weeks.

00:34:52.260 --> 00:34:55.079
This is the longest she's gone without it. So

00:34:55.079 --> 00:34:57.980
they do put her to sleep for it, and if it wasn't

00:34:57.980 --> 00:35:01.139
for ACT, she wouldn't be here with us. So we

00:35:01.139 --> 00:35:03.920
have such a new respect for medication, because

00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:06.360
it's keeping her here, and for the treatment

00:35:06.360 --> 00:35:12.460
of ACT. Yeah. Sounds so barbaric. I mean, let's

00:35:12.460 --> 00:35:15.400
face it, when we think of... sorry to use the

00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:18.480
term asylums like a hundred years ago that's

00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:21.239
that's sort of what we think of the places that

00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:25.159
would abuse it yeah there's a controlled positive

00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:28.920
painless way to use it now and putting her to

00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:33.300
sleep then does that so yeah yeah putting me

00:35:33.300 --> 00:35:38.170
to sleep i'll tell you what I just had it done

00:35:38.170 --> 00:35:41.690
a couple days ago. Two days ago. I have to lay

00:35:41.690 --> 00:35:46.170
in bed and just sleep it off because my head

00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:50.230
and neck will hurt so bad. But I'll tell you

00:35:50.230 --> 00:35:54.510
what, if it wasn't for being put to sleep, I

00:35:54.510 --> 00:35:58.989
wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it because there's

00:35:58.989 --> 00:36:03.420
a documentary coming out. The fish don't mind

00:36:03.420 --> 00:36:07.179
if it rains because they're already wet. Where

00:36:07.179 --> 00:36:13.860
they were giving kids with autism and other problems

00:36:13.860 --> 00:36:18.260
and they were just giving them electric shocks

00:36:18.260 --> 00:36:20.880
in their head without putting them to sleep.

00:36:21.380 --> 00:36:24.739
And I'll tell you what, I can't imagine, I know

00:36:24.739 --> 00:36:29.280
what it feels like. After? After being put to

00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:33.760
sleep. So I can't, I just can't imagine them

00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.920
ever, ever having to go through this. But there

00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:42.059
was this one doctor who said, if it didn't hurt,

00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:46.920
it wouldn't work. Well, I said that a doctor

00:36:46.920 --> 00:36:51.920
that's actually live, you hear him and see him

00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:55.969
speak. And I'll tell you what, that guy should

00:36:55.969 --> 00:36:59.489
go to jail. I believe that. Well, I got to tell

00:36:59.489 --> 00:37:03.590
you what some very exciting news is. Well, unfortunately,

00:37:03.730 --> 00:37:06.769
there isn't enough scientific research supporting

00:37:06.769 --> 00:37:10.849
catatonia. It's still so under researched. Right

00:37:10.849 --> 00:37:14.429
now, all they have is ECT and benzodiazepine.

00:37:15.150 --> 00:37:20.170
Well, I think because so many doctors don't think

00:37:20.170 --> 00:37:24.750
that. I think so many doctors believe that you're

00:37:24.750 --> 00:37:28.210
schizophrenic and that's it. Sure. But what I'm

00:37:28.210 --> 00:37:32.690
getting at is in my book, I cited a doctor, Dr.

00:37:32.949 --> 00:37:37.530
Robert Boda, and he is out in California. He

00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:41.019
About 12 years ago, he treated a patient who

00:37:41.019 --> 00:37:44.400
had undiagnosed catatonia after a head injury

00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:47.360
and was brought back with the Ativan challenge.

00:37:47.699 --> 00:37:50.639
Same thing, almost parallel to my mother. So

00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:53.760
I, of course, put that article in my book and

00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:56.800
I reached out to him. I said, Hi, I just want

00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:59.659
you to know that I used your article. Thank you

00:37:59.659 --> 00:38:01.920
for the work that you do. And I just want you

00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:04.239
to know that my mom went through the same thing.

00:38:04.739 --> 00:38:08.670
He responded the same day. He's the one who invited

00:38:08.670 --> 00:38:12.190
us to the APA conference in May. His residents

00:38:12.190 --> 00:38:14.550
are now gathering information and they're going

00:38:14.550 --> 00:38:18.210
to be the one studying her case. He told me that

00:38:18.210 --> 00:38:20.909
the patient that he treated now is currently

00:38:20.909 --> 00:38:24.010
working and is living his best life. He gets

00:38:24.010 --> 00:38:27.989
a treatment called TMS, transcranial magnetic

00:38:27.989 --> 00:38:31.909
stimulation. I've never heard of it. So I'm like,

00:38:31.969 --> 00:38:34.769
what is this? Can my mom get that? He said that

00:38:34.769 --> 00:38:38.219
he gets it once a year. So it's basically like

00:38:38.219 --> 00:38:41.699
a wand, almost like an ultrasound to put it on

00:38:41.699 --> 00:38:44.780
your head and it stimulates the brain. Well,

00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:48.519
what I'm getting at is that I pursued some research

00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:54.219
into this TMS. And of course, I can now see that

00:38:54.219 --> 00:38:57.599
it is very common here. They have it in all kinds

00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:00.639
of different places in Illinois. So now I have

00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:04.480
this doctor out in California. helping us get

00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:07.840
information regarding TMS, and that potentially

00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:12.000
my mom will be able to get that. Right now, you

00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:17.039
only get that if ECT doesn't work. And I'm like,

00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:19.610
well, why do we have to wait until then? you

00:39:19.610 --> 00:39:22.190
know, she could develop an allergy to anesthesia.

00:39:22.409 --> 00:39:25.750
But I'm not, we could just have a backup plan.

00:39:26.110 --> 00:39:28.789
We don't want to lose her again. So right now

00:39:28.789 --> 00:39:31.889
we're pursuing more information, maybe a consult

00:39:31.889 --> 00:39:37.329
for TMS. Okay. Hey, before we run out of time,

00:39:37.789 --> 00:39:40.670
I just want to, I don't know, I want to come

00:39:40.670 --> 00:39:43.519
up with a wrap up for this whole thing. and we've

00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:45.579
talked about the medical staff, we've talked

00:39:45.579 --> 00:39:48.179
about the patients, we've talked about the caregivers

00:39:48.179 --> 00:39:51.380
and each of their different roles and all of

00:39:51.380 --> 00:39:54.940
them are difficult. With that in mind, Ricky,

00:39:55.559 --> 00:39:58.579
could you just give us an overall what is learned?

00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:01.079
What is the lesson from this that you can pass

00:40:01.079 --> 00:40:04.539
on to others? Yes, that's a great question. I

00:40:04.539 --> 00:40:07.780
would say for me at least, trust your instinct

00:40:07.780 --> 00:40:11.239
as a caregiver. You know more than what that

00:40:11.239 --> 00:40:15.650
doctor Who sees you knows. You know that person

00:40:15.650 --> 00:40:19.050
more than that person who sees them for 15 minutes

00:40:19.050 --> 00:40:22.250
a day. Advocate for them. Trust your instincts.

00:40:22.369 --> 00:40:26.929
Do your research. And just believe in that. And

00:40:26.929 --> 00:40:30.269
in our case, it is don't give up. If we would

00:40:30.269 --> 00:40:32.349
have given up, we never would have got this.

00:40:32.929 --> 00:40:35.989
And that there's just still so much to learn.

00:40:36.750 --> 00:40:39.590
You know, get second opinion. Get a third opinion.

00:40:40.010 --> 00:40:45.969
Okay, after this whole thing happened, I asked

00:40:45.969 --> 00:40:51.309
Ricky, can I please talk to my mom? Can you please

00:40:51.309 --> 00:40:57.110
call my mom? Because Ricky and my other daughter

00:40:57.110 --> 00:41:03.530
were telling me that you have a mom and she loves

00:41:03.530 --> 00:41:07.150
you and misses you and wants to talk to you.

00:41:07.309 --> 00:41:11.849
So I said, could you please call my mom? And

00:41:11.849 --> 00:41:16.730
Ricky said, mom, you have to let me call first

00:41:16.730 --> 00:41:19.889
because this could cause her to have a heart

00:41:19.889 --> 00:41:23.010
attack. It's very shocking. Because everybody

00:41:23.010 --> 00:41:28.130
was shocked that I came back. I want to say that

00:41:28.130 --> 00:41:32.489
when I was on the phone with my mom and even

00:41:32.489 --> 00:41:38.869
at home, I sing to God. I talked to God, talked

00:41:38.869 --> 00:41:45.289
to Pinky about God. I told my mom, please pray,

00:41:45.650 --> 00:41:50.630
mom. God is real. This is not something that

00:41:50.630 --> 00:41:56.050
I could say, oh yeah, some medicine made this

00:41:56.050 --> 00:42:01.159
happen, you know, like. Some miracle happened.

00:42:01.820 --> 00:42:05.159
I'm not looking at it like that. I believe that

00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:08.500
God brought me back for a reason. I'm not sure

00:42:08.500 --> 00:42:12.199
what exactly it is. I'm still trying to figure

00:42:12.199 --> 00:42:16.079
that out, but I believe that he did bring me

00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:21.360
back. I know I heard him talking to me. I know

00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:26.320
that I heard that crazy loud thunder. It was,

00:42:26.679 --> 00:42:31.820
the thunder was so loud. We had tornadoes and

00:42:31.820 --> 00:42:36.760
thunderstorms here recently and that's how loud

00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:41.199
it was. So I just want to say that even when

00:42:41.199 --> 00:42:45.940
it seems like you're at, say you're taking care

00:42:45.940 --> 00:42:49.880
of someone. or someone else is taking care of

00:42:49.880 --> 00:42:54.519
someone. Even when it seems like it is the end,

00:42:54.659 --> 00:42:59.280
that's it. There's no hope. Always pray. Always

00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:02.800
pray. I pray every day, sometimes a bunch of

00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:07.940
times. Always believe that you've done your best

00:43:07.940 --> 00:43:12.460
to take care of the person that you love. Never

00:43:12.460 --> 00:43:17.989
give up on them. And I believe that They can

00:43:17.989 --> 00:43:23.409
hear you. I didn't hear my daughters, unfortunately,

00:43:23.409 --> 00:43:26.889
but I really believe that people can hear you.

00:43:27.349 --> 00:43:30.730
That's pretty much what I wanted to say. That's

00:43:30.730 --> 00:43:35.110
really it's a big thing. And this is from not

00:43:35.110 --> 00:43:39.289
religious fanatics. OK. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That

00:43:39.289 --> 00:43:42.530
gives you more credibility to some people. Hey,

00:43:42.849 --> 00:43:45.650
Ricky, do you believe that God talked to your

00:43:45.650 --> 00:43:50.239
mom? 100%. And you know, I'll tell you, in my

00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:54.000
book, I have a letter to God. And in there, I

00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:56.940
pretty much apologize and give him the credit

00:43:56.940 --> 00:43:59.380
and let him know that he was there. But for eight

00:43:59.380 --> 00:44:02.539
and a half long, long years, when my mom was

00:44:02.539 --> 00:44:05.179
telling me that she wants to die and pursuing

00:44:05.179 --> 00:44:08.880
it, I would beg God, God, what are you waiting

00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:12.840
for? How can you let her suffer? But then when

00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:16.539
I call her and she says hi, And then I call her

00:44:16.539 --> 00:44:20.539
and she says, hello, daughter. It tells me that

00:44:20.539 --> 00:44:24.260
maybe she didn't suffer. And if she didn't, then

00:44:24.260 --> 00:44:27.400
there's a different kind of grace. There's a

00:44:27.400 --> 00:44:30.840
different kind of explanation and meaning that

00:44:30.840 --> 00:44:35.019
maybe I didn't know or it's really beautiful

00:44:35.019 --> 00:44:38.980
in a sense that she was potentially protected

00:44:38.980 --> 00:44:43.690
during those years. I'm thinking that maybe something

00:44:43.690 --> 00:44:50.070
bad was going on during that time that God didn't

00:44:50.070 --> 00:44:53.630
want me to see. But you know what? Look at the

00:44:53.630 --> 00:44:57.349
crazy stuff that's happening now. And that's

00:44:57.349 --> 00:45:01.070
why I get angry at him and of course then I pray

00:45:01.070 --> 00:45:06.489
and I beg for his forgiveness because I can't

00:45:06.489 --> 00:45:10.619
say, why did you bring me back now? You know,

00:45:10.619 --> 00:45:13.559
because there's a purpose for everything Yeah,

00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:16.039
but I definitely believe it was divine and there's

00:45:16.039 --> 00:45:18.639
no doubt about it a couple months ago My mom

00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:21.579
was baptized for her first time in Christ's name

00:45:21.579 --> 00:45:25.000
Yes, it was really beautiful. All right, Ricky

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:28.500
and Elena have a great road trip. Thank you say

00:45:28.500 --> 00:45:32.500
hi to mom and grandma and In fact get back to

00:45:32.500 --> 00:45:34.840
me Ricky and let me know how the reunion goes.

00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:37.769
I'm really curious Yeah. Take some pictures.

00:45:38.050 --> 00:45:40.570
I think it's going to be a beautiful thing. Thank

00:45:40.570 --> 00:45:42.250
you so much for your time. Oh, I do too. Eric,

00:45:42.429 --> 00:45:44.309
you're great and thank you for everything you

00:45:44.309 --> 00:45:47.949
do. I know you're a caregiver too and you could

00:45:47.949 --> 00:45:50.849
relate to a lot of this. So thank you for everything.

00:45:52.329 --> 00:45:54.949
Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast.

00:45:55.190 --> 00:45:57.650
Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button

00:45:57.650 --> 00:46:00.170
and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdesk

00:46:00.170 --> 00:46:03.579
.com. If you want to share your near -death experience,

00:46:04.079 --> 00:46:05.840
or if you have questions or comments about the

00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:08.760
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath

00:46:08.760 --> 00:46:11.940
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good

00:46:11.940 --> 00:46:14.260
that you're looking for in this life and the

00:46:14.260 --> 00:46:14.639
next.