Lorri's Heart Stopped - Resuscitation Took 30 Minutes

0:03 From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart. My heart stopped and I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I had known in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody. You are going to absolutely love our guest. We have Lori Brewer on the line with us. Coming to us from where in Canada are you Lori? Alberta, Edmonton Alberta. And you know I hate to get on here and do small talk and talk about the weather but I'm not going to be too far from there this weekend so I'm wondering how cold it is. Not cold at all you people think it's like the igloos and icicles up here. It's not it's ten degrees. It's beautiful It's not even a coach. You don't have shorts yet, but it's not a coat. It's gorgeous. You'll enjoy it Okay. All right. Well, I want to jump into it because your NDE is really interesting and Especially what has happened in your life since then I think there's a lot that we can learn not only for people who have experienced something This major but we all go through changes in life and we all have things that make us Rethink

1:37 a little bit about who we are and what we want to be in all stages of life And we're gonna be talking a lot about that too with Laurie So anyway, as you know from listening to the podcast one of the very first things we do is I want our listeners to get to know you for just a minute So would you tell us a little bit about Laurie? A little bit about me. I am a mom. My son is in his 30s. So first and foremost, I'm a mom and a daughter. Both my parents have passed away. I'm a career woman. So I definitely am business woman, entrepreneur. I focus in the duality of life. So a little bit about me is I just try to live life the best I can with every minute that I'm given, but that's not how my life was before. So I have a before and after to me. So asking me about today, today I am enjoying every second of every minute of every day that I have on this planet. You asked me this question September 17th, 2010. I would have been a real estate broker.

2:42 I would have been making money. I would have been a top producer with Century 21. And I would have been driven to have my third car, my ginormous house, and that is not who I am today. So I have the duality of life I've had the experience of before, and I have the privilege of today. And I would much rather be the girl of today, but everybody hasn't realized now. that the girl of yesterday is dead and what you have sitting before you is a new girl, that a lot of my clients, a lot of my friends, a lot of my family, they actually don't know who I am today because it's something I've kept secret since 2010. And people wonder, I wonder, why keep it a secret? Oh, the fear of coming out. When you go through such a very private, extremely private event, just something that's just so intimate between you and a creator or you and the energy of life or the source of life when it's that private and you experience that and then you come back out into the real business world. There's two things.

3:52 One is it's so private that you wouldn't think anybody's going to believe you even though mine was verifiable. Two, I didn't believe it that I've had a near -death experience. And then three, the ridicule, the fear, the fear of ridicule or shame, not necessarily shame, kind of ridicule and shame, like you're so afraid that you won't be embraced. So that keeps you kind of secretly hidden. And I would guess plus in business, you don't want to be the crazy lady, right? I mean, you can lose a lot of credibility if people think that there's something nuts going on here. Exactly. So in business, so I was a real estate broker was because I just closed the brokerage now.

4:36 I was a real estate broker. in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada here. So what I did, and I did work right across Canada, right across United States referrals. And so we're in a data driven industry. I am in a fact based industry where numbers matter, facts matter. And then when you have a very spiritual experience, a very energetic experience, when you take that into the physical world, there's no room for it. And then even if you try to explain it to somebody, you start to lose credibility in the business world. So in the spiritual world, you can gain credibility. But in the business world that I had to survive, you learn very quickly that you better keep your mouth shut. Yeah. And I have people tell me all the time that there's a before NDE life, there's an after NDE life.

5:29 things are very very different because you're very very different even if you try not to be. Anyway I know that this happened back in 2010 but you have only recently started talking about this and I appreciate you coming to us and I hope you find this a safe space where you can open up and you don't mind me asking questions. Now we're gonna dig into what happened. And without further ado, let's do that. So what was going on back in 2010 that led up to this? Eric, seriously, I I'm very grateful of the space and I watched the past podcasts and that's how I get a feeling of where I can be safe. So thank you. It doesn't go without saying that this is a very a big vulnerable moment. And so thank you for giving me a space to be vulnerable and be protected. So 2010. In 2010 I was a real estate broker and in our Canadian market we were having a lot of collapse, real estate collapse, pricing collapse. So one of the things as a real estate broker, what I thought I would do is I would create a for sale by owner program. Now it's almost tongue in cheek when you have a real estate agent trying to create a for sale by owner program, you're not very well looked upon because the goal is to make commissions. So people were like, what are you?

6:53 talking about. I said, well, people can't afford the commission. There's got to be a better way. So my brain was trying to work and help for sale by owners, sell their home with the help of a real estate agent, but we had to compromise. How would we do this with commission? Like that's what I was creating. So in my moment of time, that's what was happening in my life. I was creating a first sale by owner package, but at that time I was doing a website. Now, in my history, my cardiac history, I've had many cardiac episodes and it's called what I'm diagnosed with is a super ventricular tachycardia SVT and what happens is your heart quivers and it doesn't pump so you have to go in to the hospital you have to get it reconverted or realigned either with medicine or they have to shock you shock the heart so it stops it's just an electronic current that's going on that's not working. So I've had many of those, but it's never supposed to kill you.

7:53 It's like an asthma attack. It could go wrong, but the likelihood of it killing you is like rare to nothing. So on September 19th, that's what my busy life was doing. I was newly married for the second time. and I was doing this program. Everybody relied on me. My dad had already passed away. My mom was sick and relied on me for food and help, my brokerage, my staff, my agents. So there was a lot of cogs in the wheel that relied on me to keep things moving. September 19th, I have this SVT. It was supposed to be like any other, but it was totally different. And the totally different is... My heart wasn't just quivering. It was quivering so badly that I was having trouble seeing. It was quivering so badly that my body was feeling sick and then I knew if I closed my eyes I would pass out.

8:48 Now that's a really high quiver. I knew it was different than normal and I knew I didn't think it would kill me. I just knew it was so much more different than normal. And how I behaved was different. Like I behaved differently than what I normally would. So I just don't know how far deep you kind of want to go and how much do you want to know. I'm an open book. Whatever you want to know. What do you want to know? I think whatever you feel like talking about. I mean, we're not going to go on for three or four hours here. Good. We're not Jim Rome. But if it relates to the experience and people can help understand it. go as far as you want, but also your medical life is your personal life. And so don't talk about anything you don't feel like.

9:34 So the difference with this attack than the other attacks, and I guess I'll talk on this. I'll touch base on this, because a lot of times I'll get questions from people and they will say if somebody is passing away. they will say to people, did you know you were dying? Do you think my loved one knew that they were dying? Do you think they had an idea of it? And I'm going to go. So what is factually happened? And then my opinion, my opinion is when we are about to cross, go, leave transition, when we are about to do that, I do believe that we all have it built in. We just have it built in that we know we're going to go somewhere. We may not call that death.

10:16 but I do think we all have a knowing. So on that night, when I have my SVT, I, as crazy as it sounds, I put on makeup, because this is like 1230 at night, so it's early in the nighttime, early in the morning. I put on makeup so the undertaker or the funeral home would see how I put on makeup. I quickly shaved my legs because I didn't want to be in the morgue with unshaved. So I knew the forethinking. I didn't know it meant death. But I knew in the forethinking, this was totally different. My new husband, I didn't want him to... I didn't want him to...

10:57 cherish my ugly pajamas. So I rolled up my pajamas and I hid them and I didn't want him to find them and be lonely, because that's what I did when my dad passed away, you save stuff from people that you really miss. And I didn't want my ugly pajamas to be like such a sacred thing. So I hid my ugly pajamas and I got everything ready and because I knew I wasn't coming home. I knew it. But I didn't know that that meant to go and I think when people are in an accident or they're sitting in the back of an ambulance and they say tell my wife tell my children I love them tell them this a lot of the people don't want to take the dying deathbed confession note they don't want to take it because they're like no no no we can do something it's uncomfortable and in that moment I do think the body has a way to understand that it's just not going to be here and the brain kicks in and says, let's get some messages across because I know I'm not making it. But we may not verbalize it as quote unquote death of not coming back. So went to the hospital. They tried to convert me. They didn't convert me. They couldn't. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. They couldn't get me converted fast enough. And then finally, when they were realizing that I was now slipping and calling a code, I was hooked up to monitors.

12:21 and they were trying to get me converted but it took it took a long time like normally I'm converted within three six minutes this time it was like 35 minutes 40 minutes and I was still in a very serious attack and then when they finally said she's coding that's when they put the intravenous in and one of the nurses came up and said you're in you're you're in good hands and I thought nope I'm going to good hands and I just left. That's when I left. It wasn't I didn't have medicine in I don't know if I crashed. I don't know what happened. But that was the moment then I shoot, I was out of my body. And then I was gone. Wow.

13:04 So that's why it was all the while hooked up to heart rate monitors. So on a on one good way, you can see that how badly I crashed and how long it was. That's wonderful. But it really does nothing to help the after effects when you come back. It's yeah, it's great. It's verifiable How long was your heart stopped? Well, it's how I see because I pulled my medical records because I'm so data -driven the best I can see it was like stopped for anywhere between it's too hard on the rhythm strip it could be a minute to three minutes, but The resuscitation, the heart never really started because they were resuscitating me. They were airbagging me, sternum rubbing me, and that went on for over 30 minutes. So was how long was my heart stopped for? Definitely a few minutes, but how long did it start on its own where we didn't have to have artificial respiration and help? A lot longer than that. So that's why it became a fact -gathering mission is then it became where did I go and what happened. Yeah and let's get into that next but I just wanted to clarify one thing and even though I asked that question it wasn't because I believe NDEs are only technically when a heart is stopped because I have heard amazing NDEs from people who had COVID and were in a coma for three weeks

14:36 and other things like that. It doesn't matter that it's verified that your heart was stopped. I was just curious by that. So let's jump in now to what happened? I mean, what did you see? What did you feel? This is, you know, sometimes when I go back to that moment, there's a difference between remembering, remember when we had the birthday, remember when we went on vacation, that's a remembering. But when I go back to this spot, it's not a remembering of my brain. It's remembering it's an essence of my body of where I went to. So as soon as that male nurse said, you're in good hands, meaning we're going to try because I was still in a full blown attack, meaning, I guess we're going to get you converted.

15:27 And as soon as that happened, my blood pressure went to 56 over 27. And I remember I was sitting up to throw up. And then I fell back down. And I remember having all the blood and everything just rushed from me. And I remember the back of my head, there was no pillow because it was a flat board. And I remember the back of my head being there. And then as fast as I bodily brain remember the pillow, then there's a part of my knowing that I was now at the outside of that area. And now I was looking back. So I was sitting at a little cap. It's a sharps cap where they put needles in when they're done with needles.

16:10 And it was just in a distorted place. And I was sitting at that little orange cap. And I remember sitting there and I was watching everybody around, but they were like humans, but not like you could see hair or male or female. They were just like morphs, like infrared, just gray blobs working around this table. And then I could see there was no blob on the bed. And it didn't dawn on me, like in my brain, that that was me. I didn't say, oh, I'm dead. I didn't have that mental conscious capacity. But my dad was right beside me who had passed away two years earlier. And for me, that was normal that me and my dad were beside each other. It was just normal. It wasn't like, oh, what a shock. I there was no consciousness between being alive and being dead and so dad and I are standing there and it was so vibrationally energetically so loud it was just and loud not ear loud like not ear hearing loud, but just loud like the pressure loud, the vibration loud.

17:24 And it was just like, oh, and it was, I didn't want to be there. And dad was all not like, look at this, but it was a loving moment of comfort. And then you could kind of hear the people at the outside desk kind of complaining and conflict. And you can hear the conflict out there. And there was so much conflict. When I say above ground, there was so much Not that I was in hell, but there was so much conflict on the rock here, on earth, that I just said to my dad, and you don't talk, you telepathically communicate. It was like, get me out of here. Like, let's just go. And then he took me to this darkest, most serenest, and it's too bad it's not a different color, but it was dark. It was just the darkest of purest of darkness. It wasn't like the nighttime dark, it was a different dark. It was just the most perfect place to be. And it was sitting there and when him and I were together, because now he's been gone a little while, so now when I think about it, I miss him more, like I humanly miss him. But when you're there and you're touching him, It's not like you miss any time. It's not like it's been two years that he was gone. It was like normal for me to be beside him. It was normal place to be. And there was no thinking of my son. There was no thinking of my work or

18:54 my for sale by owner program or money or cars. And I just couldn't care less. And it was just all encompassing a beauty of where I needed to be. When I tell this story, I try to not glamorize it, but my dad is not always the, he's not always the lovey, touchy, huggy type of guy. I come from a very European background and my dad is a hardcore Ukrainsky. When you're a hardcore Ukrainsky, you work really hard and your kids got to work hard. They got to toe the line. And it was like, if you work hard, I'll get you an ice cream cone. But if you don't work hard, your work is rewarded. It was kind of like the trade -off, hard work, little reward. And so my dad being so gruff in human land, when we go to the spot, oh my God, he wasn't just a marshmallow.

19:48 He was not the body of dad. He was just, and something like I've never experienced with him because he, I know he loved me, but it was never expressed in that loving, gentle. like a way between you and your son. There was not that loving synergy bonding. But when I was with dad there, it was perfect. It was loving. It was respectful. And it was protective and just the beauty of beauty. And I miss him. I don't miss my dad that I had on earth. I miss the dad that I had back then where I came from because the dad above ground, I have no trouble. I have no trouble garbage in his stuff because the man above ground was kind of a kind of a gruff guy but the guy that I had back there oh I miss him terribly can I offer a possibility you tell me if this is right or wrong tell me you grew up maybe not knowing the terminology but feeling like all of his love was conditional you had to do something to earn it Right? I mean you had to do something to earn an ice cream or any kind of reward. I have a feeling maybe you felt the same way about his love a little bit. And when you met him in the spirit, that was gone.

21:09 There was no more conditions. It was just pure love. Is that how you would explain it? Pure love. Unlike anything I've ever experienced not the dad that I knew it. So yes when people say it was that's a very good question That's nobody's asked me that was a very good question. It's not the dad That I knew above ground the dad that I knew on earth Was very conditional very you always try to please him and you know, I'm sure I did please him sometimes but for me it was never enough so I don't know what I was expecting from him, but in or wherever I was, spirit, energy, wherever I was, I realized that that actually exists. I didn't have a consciousness in my Lori big girl brain that that actually unconditional love actually exists. Of course we love our children.

22:02 Of course we do. And of course I would give my life for my child. Of course I would. But that level of love and unconditional that I have for my son, is huge. And you as a parent, we love our children. We would give our lives for our children. But that unconditional love is amazing. Here comes winter and I could not be more excited. I love snow and I love my new culture down jacket from Steele. It's warm, waterproof, it looks great. It's my new favorite go -to whether I'm headed out winter hiking, snowshoeing, or for sushi night in Park City. Every ski town has a brand that locals wear before the rest of the country catches on. In Jackson Hole, Wyoming, it's steel. In fact, steel was designed and tested there by locals who ski, bike, climb, and fish every day. Now listen close because the best news is round trip death listeners get a special discount. Here it comes. Ski season and below zero temps are almost here. So gear up now the way the locals do. Go to stio .com slash round trip for 20 % off your order. That's stio .com slash r -o -u -n -d -t -r -i -p. Stio .com slash round trip. Stio. designed and tested in Jackson Hole and I seriously love this thing. But the

23:35 unconditional love that you have there is like nothing your human brain can wrap its noodle around. You just can't wrap your noodle around it and then you come back here and people say well I just unconditionally love you. It's like no, no. I know the difference between the two. You do love me but that's not what you're saying. No, there's so many different levels of all of this Right and different degrees of love and things like that that yeah that we just can't necessarily Reach in this life. No matter how hard we try and how much we think we feel it I've got a few questions, but I'd like you to go ahead and finish up the experience and then we'll come back to some of these things so After spending time with your father and was there something that brought that to an end? So there's two parts of my so I always I always go between two parts There's my brain that tries to click in to make things happen. And then there is What kind of energetically that I can explain? Energetically, we ride two worlds here We ride the brain world of what I'm trying to explain and then I have the energy world, which I can't explain So in that moment, then I was saying, okay, I'm so glad I'm here I'm saying with dad, it's like, oh, I made it here because you don't want to go. Why? Why would you want to? I know that I have a son waiting. I don't know it, but in this

25:07 moment, it's all encompassing. It's all beautiful. It's all perfect. It's where we need to be and everything else is pretend. Like that is authentically is how we are created. That is who we are and that is where we need to be. this is pretend stuff this is not working so my dad's like no no you got to go back and it's like no no i'm staying he's like no no you're going back and all of a sudden there was like a debate and i know you can't touch there's no body there's no feeling there's just an essence of knowing there's no touching and then i felt this horrific bump and then i went through a super white tunnel and normally according to my research the white tunnel goes in, goes, starts before the body is dying. No, no, mine happened at the end. So when I got a hold of some people like Dr. Jeffrey Long, I said to him, well, why was my tunnel at the back end? Like, does that make it different?

26:07 Is that a medical thing? Like, why? Why is it, why is not all of them the same? Why are we not having, yes, there's a tunnel, but one will have it at the beginning, one will have it at the end. Why? What's the correlation between that? So my data brain wants to click in and understand, well, why did that happen? So I go through this super white tunnel, just the whitest laser beam tunnel. And then I'm with my husband and I'm still thinking I'm with my dad because my husband's face and my dad's face were kind of like morphing on top of each other. So I thought, oh, well, my husband's here. Well, this is good. And I'm thinking, well, more people, this is good. We're all here. And I'm telepathically saying to my husband, where's dad? And I'm going, where's dad? Clearly, my eyes are open. I can see my husband's face. I couldn't really hear the hospital room and the machine. I couldn't hear anything.

27:06 But I'm telepathically saying, like, where are we? And I'm trying to understand this. And then it dawned on me, I have to talk. I have to use words. That's when everything was like, what, what the hell happened here? What happened? And that's when I tried to get reoriented as to what happened. So when my husband finally said something back, I said, well, where's dad? And he got that look on his face. Like they, when it's like saying company's coming and you're like, what? I'm not ready. It was like, what? And when I said, where's dad? There was a shocking then I thought, his reaction was, we've got trouble, because his reaction showed me there's trouble. And then I'm like, well, where are we? And then what happened?

27:52 I meant, where are we? Are we here or there? What happened? What happened to the darkness? And he kept saying, well, you're at the hospital. And we kept missing each other in what I was trying to ask. And so that's, everything was different from that point forward. And life blew up from that moment forward. That was... September 19, 2010. Okay. I can't wait to hear about the blow up in a minute. Some of this is so interesting. What did Dr. Long say to you? You asked him about why it was a tunnel at the end of the experience. So a lot of times, according to the research, there's a couple of things. So how it was kind of explained is like this. There's kind of like portals or wormholes or different things like that. When the tunnel is there, you could have it at at different stages depending on where it is, different stages of resuscitation. Some people will have it when they first go into a coma. Some people will have it when they're coming out. Some people have it right inside of a coma when something is happening or if somebody else is passing away in a different room. So the tunnels are totally different. The remembrances, people will say that they remember. There's a difference between recall and Remembering. Recall is I've got to go back to the events. I know I'm recalling, September 19th, 2010. Now, that's a recall because I know that date because it's marked on the calendar.

29:20 But remembering doesn't have to come from my brain because if I stop and think about it for one second, I can easily go back into that beautiful space because I don't have to remember it because it's a part of my essence of Who and what I am that I've had to deny for so long because in the business world I'm gonna go back to dr. Phil saying you can't ride two horses with one ass and you know what? I can't travel both worlds. You got to pick a path you got to pick a path and part of that difference I believe in the recall versus the remembering or whatever terms we want to use for it are Things that yes that are basically our left brain is saying let me put all these pixels back in place and see what it looked like versus what you're calling remembering is the feeling that you had and feelings are completely different and they are recalled remembered whatever we want to call it in different kinds of ways and this is where sometimes the way our brain works here and the spiritual side of all of us beings sort of overlaps a little bit and is one of them kicking in a little bit more than the other. You were having a spiritual experience as well as this physical one. And I have no idea where I'm going with this train of thought, but I'm just kind of thinking out loud. Anytime that we feel something, it's different than just remembering,

30:53 you know, a stop sign or what's written on a chalkboard, right? What did it feel like, for example, when your son was first born? I can go back even to that moment, but it's blurry because it's over 30 years ago. I can remember because I had to research false because I got really worried about the memory recall. I didn't know if it even for a human, I don't know if it can be trusted. Now appreciate I come from a severe data driven world. So one plus one does equal two when you punch in the numbers to the calculator, I don't have to worry that that's a wrong calculation. So when I come back into this world of so much fray, I don't even know what I can trust. So I have to get a baseline of what is factual, what can be trusted, and what can be proven. So we have a thing called false memory syndrome. So we can believe that we could feel it. I know that my son was born because I was there and I gave birth to him.

31:58 I know a few snippets of moments that I cherish to it. But do I remember that whole experience? I remember snippets of it, but not really. I can't recall every single moment, but the death is different. The death is not like the birth of a child. The death is different. It's imprinted in the soul of what I am, and I don't know how else to put words to this, but it's not something I need to recall. It's just a piece, as I know I gave birth to a child, I know that that imprint is there. And I'll give an example of a mom.

32:39 A mom gets a knock on the door, and it's a policeman doing a death notification that her child has passed away. She doesn't know who's at the door, but the trauma of opening that door and looking at that member's face and hearing the words and the imprint of that emotion is something very close to a near -death experience because it's not something you could ever forget, although you really wish you could. That energetic imprint on your soul is something that just doesn't go away. And that is what I'm trying to express and share with people that just because they may not be verifiable doesn't mean that something other traumatic event in life or beautiful moment in life That has made an impression and imprint energetically that is something you will never forget and that will move you forward. And that is like the energetic remembrance of essence.

33:43 Don't we wish we had better words to try to describe all of this is so difficult. But that I think the point I was getting at is that love that you felt with your brand new baby. I have felt it from the dad's side, not the mom's side. I have felt it. and I might not remember with child number three what time exactly of day they were born but I remember that I remember how I felt about that and that feeling you had with your father who had been gone for two years and this was version 2 .0 of him right you're never gonna forget you know you don't need to write down little details you'll never you'll never forget that because that feeling is emblazoned on your soul. All right let's talk about a couple other things. I don't really understand this dark place that you were and all of the heavy vibration that you were feeling and I'm not sure if there's any other way that you can describe it. I've had people talk to me about a void that they were in before they were in like a heavenly place.

34:50 I've had people talk to me about a dark place that felt wonderful and felt alive and warm and So loving and we don't think of dark places that way because on this earth. Those are more kind of scary places What end of the spectrum was that dark place? Tell me a little more about it Oh the dark the dark place wasn't scary It wasn't one of my friends told me about I forgot the name of what the real name is, but it's something like not a deep pressure chamber but something where you go into a tube or a it's like you float in water and you desensitize you can't hear nothing you can't see nothing and you're not talking about sensory deprivation chamber thank you that's what it is so i am likening i am thinking that that's sensory deprivation chamber now apparently if you're good with your soul if you're good that's a wonderful experience if it's not very if you're not very good and peaceful and grounded it can can kind of be not a very good experience so i'm trying to say that that deprivation chamber that i was in it was Not just peaceful, not just kind, not just loving, not just... So imagine the baby that you held in your arms and you remember that love. And we all do, as parents we all do.

36:18 But you got to take that love and compassion and joy and, oh my God, what a blessing. And you are just right with the earth when that baby is in your arms and everything, nothing, there's no other things that matter. Now you take that... And you got to magnetize that by 10 bajillion. And that is the darkness I'm talking about. And I have the same loving feeling. I'm not minimizing the love and birth of a child. I'm not doing that. I'm saying in comparison to the two, how wonderful that is with a child. It just pales into such comparison to where the beauty of the darkness of the peace is and it's it's where tranquility is it's everything is right with the world that is what i call going home that is home this where i'm at now is i'm i'm borrowing a piece of the planet for a little while and then i get to go home we have inverted what life is this is not home this is this is make believe and then you get a couple of hours of minutes in the day You only get a couple of kicks at the cat here. So you got to make the best of it. So I don't waste one minute in time. And yet I know I'm going home. And like I always say, if the good Lord said, Lori, time's up, you got to go. I'm out. Like I'm good to go.

37:40 I have a couple more things now. I don't have a bucket list. I have a couple more things on my task list. It's very different for me now. I don't have a bucket list. And on my task list, I've got a few more things that I want to get done. And as soon as those are done, I'll be in the waiting period and I'll be like, OK, I'm waiting. I'm not going to waste life. I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it. But I have things to do and I don't have time to slow down. My feet keep moving. I'm moving every day. What kinds of things do you feel like you need to do? Some people describe it as they came back with a mission. What's yours? It's pretty much a mission. It's a mission and a vision. There's so many people. Our world is so divisive right now. And for me, in this world, I don't look at people on the prickly outside, people who tend to be prickly on the outside, maybe a little cranky, cantankerous. I don't see the prickly outside. I see the loving, soft gentleness of the inside that are just misunderstood. Now, not everybody you want to put your arms around a prickly puss. I'm not saying that, but... There's so many beautiful things that are happening in this world, but we're missing it. So my mission, so now that I was able to close the brokerage and just have one path, my path is I'm creating a platform or I have a platform now where everybody can come and join and just sit on this platform and get help. So since 2010, I have been writing.

39:10 but I haven't had the courage to bring it out. I've been doing creative apps that people have said to me, oh, you know what I wish? I wish I could just plunk in this and have the answer. And I'm like, I can create that. And so now with technology, so since 2010, I'm like, I could do that too, I could do that too. And now that I have all of this stuff that I created, I'm like, oh dear, at some point, oh dear, you're gonna have to get the courage to. Close one door and open up the new one and it's like I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready yet And then in 2027 I just are 2026. I just said I'm done waiting because my days on earth are limited like I don't I'm in I'm in my 50s and I I'm not saying I'm gonna be dead, but my days are limited I don't have 40 years ahead of me. I've got to make hey when the Sun shines and I got to get this out there So if I can have a legacy platform, not the Lori show I want to be clear. I already have created a board of directors. I have created a platform where people can write articles, where people can come learn. They can learn about near -death experiences. There's so many people that actually have had a near -death experience but wasn't verifiable, so they don't want to say anything for fear of being ridiculed. They just don't want to share it. So I want to give a platform for all of that so people can just come privately read, work at your own pace. And that is my that is my mission. So I don't want anybody in this

40:42 world to feel left out. I'm not a researcher, and I'm not a doctor. But I am a survivor. And I know how hard it is to survive. When you're trying to live in a socialistic, a socialistic world, we have to make money. But how do we ride the wave between the two? And that's what I'm working on. Yeah, it's hard. It's not an easy balance. It really fascinates me how long you've put this off basically for 16 years that's not easy either and As I have talked to so many Experiencers and some of them have said look I came back and I was different in less than a year They not only quit their job. They quit their whole field and went into something completely different their marriage was over relationships with family that weren't working or old friends that just weren't working at all they're just like okay that's behind me I'm moving on that's a super scary kind of thing to do and it doesn't always sound positive right some of us have some relatives that it's like Well, I really need to have a relationship here, even though it's not doing me a whole lot of good. But I have some responsibility to family and things like that. So I'm not recommending that. But some people have completely done that and made huge, drastic changes like that. So

42:14 have yours just happened more gradually? Or have you put them all off? Or how did it work? No, I blew life up. Soon as that happened, I blew life up. Everything blew up. My marriage blew. Like when I say that, I'll be clear with what blowing up means. It's unfortunate that I, I, Lori didn't understand what was happening. So I come back and I always say, if I would have been mangled or destroyed or beaten or just badly disfigured, people would have an understanding that I changed. They would have said, oh, she's a totally different person. But I just came back.

42:54 I look normal I am normal and they everything was supposed to just go right along like everything planned but that girl who came back that day that one is dead like that one is dead she's gone she's dead there's a version there's a version of that girl still left behind a version there's always good parts you don't want to leave behind right you want to keep with you And even some of the bad parts, those could have stayed, but some of those bad parts even came. Like, you know, I'm not quick to temper any, like there's many things that came back, but when I had to function in day -to -day life, I was doing two things. I was trying to function as the old Lori, because I had a responsibility to many different people. I didn't feel, again, I kind of grew up where if you're not useful, If you don't have a purpose, you're useless. So I kind of grew up with you better have a purpose or you're useless.

43:54 And so I kind of looked at this and said, okay, well, I'm going to keep going on the same path. At the same time, I'm going to figure out what happened. So I did a whole bunch of research to understand a near death isn't what happened to me. And I'm just going to backtrack a tiny bit. When I was in the hospital, one of the nurses, because nobody wants to talk about it, one of the nurses came up and I was telling them where I went. I'm like, oh my God, and my dad, and this is this. And I was thrilled to be here to share this story. So we were comparing notes. When I was there, what was happening here? And I wanted to understand like, different notes to the accident like from different angle points and the nurse came up and she had put a paper in my hand that she wrote and there was a couple of books on there and she said and very quietly like it wasn't like loud she goes you've had a near -death experience and she goes you're gonna want to research and she's put this paper in my hand and she closed my hand and I thought oh my god you poor thing like you you've got to be crazy because I don't have a near -death experience. I'm still here. There's no such thing.

44:58 I did not believe in near -death experiences. I came from a data -driven world, so I thought she must have been not very well. I thought, she's kind of... Then when I came back, I'm like, okay, I better research this. I better look into this to prove her wrong. She doesn't know what she's talking about. And then all of the data started to fall into line. And then I was like, oh my God, this happened. Now, how do I bounce back? Like, how do I get the old Lori back? Like, how do I function again? And that's when the journey started. Then my marriage started to fall apart. And then my household and my materialistic, I got rid of everything. I got rid of the house.

45:39 I got rid of the cars. I sold everything. I wanted nothing to do with it. I got rid of the brokerage. I sold the brokerage. I didn't want the brokerage anymore. Everything changed. My relationships, the people I had in my life, some of them just weren't energetically, we weren't synchronizing. It's like putting something horrible in your mouth. You'd want to spit it out. And it was kind of like... spitting out some things that just shouldn't be in my life anymore. And I didn't ask, like I wasn't apologetic. It was like, this just isn't working for me. And other people didn't know how to, they didn't know how to take that. It was like, well, what happened to her? So the transition still, it took me about 10 years, 10 years to get my feet on the ground to say, okay, this is clearly who I am because I fought it for so long. I just I still grieve for the Lori I still grieve for the old girl that left and I do I some days I do have my pity party moments and I I wish kind of that girl would have stayed but so there is two parts for sure.

46:45 All right this this has been absolutely fascinating Lori and as you know I love to leave listeners from the show with some kind of message of hope and you had a beautiful experience I think that's so cool that you saw you. I don't even want to say saw. You were with your father and had much better of a time with him than you did on earth and that is fantastic and I think that's going to happen for a lot of us because we've all tried to have relationships sometimes with people that weren't ready to go the full in love or whatever. you know or whatever it was that we needed or expected or something else or everything was conditional and all that condition is going to be gone. One of the descriptions I hear the most is just I felt unconditional love. Many people call that God's love because they don't know what else to call it or because they really feel like that's what it was coming from. Leave us with some kind of a message of hope maybe for somebody that That really needs one today. I know Whatever created me Created you and I know whatever created you created me we all have a light within us Whatever we call that light That is a light that not only connects you it connects

48:16 me and we share that that is what I call oneness And I know today these times are divisive They're cruel. They're harsh. Everybody is struggling. And it doesn't make it any easier to say that we are all connected. But I guess if there's a solace in something is that there is a promise of tomorrow that we are going to go and feel we're going to go back home. But right now, while you have this preciousness to be on this earth, as tough as it could be for you. We are all doing this together. We are not alone in this journey.

48:56 We may be struggling, but we all struggle together. So if there is struggle, if there is hope, if there is sadness, just know that you're not alone because we are all doing this the same. We are no different than one another. Whether you are north of the border, south of the border, we are all the same. Now to get back to track, Just take solace that we're doing this together and all you have to do is just reach out one little bit of support one smile So if you've got a smile to give share it with somebody else if you don't have a smile to give Pick up the phone get that text send an email and be like I need a little source of support right now Everybody is here for you. We just forget to ask for it and we forget to give it So there is hope it's right around the corner. Just don't stop looking for it Love it. And I almost forgot to ask, you mentioned some kind of a platform that you're setting up.

49:52 Do you want to tell everybody what that is in case they want to reach out? Sure. So it is my website, and it's loribrewer .com, l -o -r -r -i -b -r -e -w -e -r .com. And what I'm doing there is I'm just creating a community where we have live events every second Friday of the month. every no every first Friday of the month we have a live event for everybody and it's on a membership basis because it's crazy money how did we put this all together so whether you're a free member a little bit of a paid member I have now a board of directors and what we're trying to do is we are trying to reach everybody in the world so nobody feels forgotten even if you don't have Two nickels to rub together. You are rich in our community and I don't want anybody to feel forgotten. So that's what I'm building.

50:46 That's my mission and my passion and my vision. Last question. How much fear of death do you have? Zero. You've been through it, are you sure? Oh, I can't wait to go back. Without sounding like suicidal, I can't. When the good Lord knocks on my door, I'm opening the door. It's not death. It's a transition to going home. Why would I not want to go home? Thanks Lori. It's been great. Thank you, Eric. Thank you. Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdesk .com. If you want to share your near -death experience, or if you have questions or comments about the show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.