Krista's 8 Minute NDE During Childbirth

0:03 From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and I could see people screaming and crying but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody. And a warm welcome to our special guest, Krista Gorman, coming to us from Florida.

0:47 Good morning. How are you? Good morning. I'm great. How are you? I'm doing so well. What's it like in Florida today? It's very windy, sunny, but very windy. and just a little bit chilly, which is nice. What does chilly mean? Because we still have snow around here. Well, with the wind blowing, it's probably in the low 60s. Oh, sorry, not making fun. Before we jump into your NDE, which people are going to love. Great story coming up, everybody. Tell us just a little bit about you. Who's Krista? Oh, wow. Wow, that's a loaded question. Well, Krista is a healthcare provider. I work as a PA. I've been a PA for 25 years. My near -death experience happened just three weeks after I graduated PA school.

1:38 My entire career has been spent with this sort of like base knowledge, understanding of the transition of death and what that sort of entailed for me anyway. I was able to incorporate that into my practice to a certain extent. But yeah, I married. My husband Ainsley Threadgold is also a near -death experiencer and a police officer. And we have a, I have a stepdaughter, his daughter, and I have a daughter through my previous marriage who was born three weeks after I graduated PA school. Okay. And that has to do with your NDE. I'm curious first, You mentioned that you've somehow involved this in your practice. Yes.

2:25 Have you had patients that have had NDEs or tell me what you meant by that? I have actually met some patients who have shared with me without me soliciting that information from them that they had NDEs. But no, my near -death experience just transformed me so fundamentally that about a third of the way into my career, I sort of came to a point where I was in a sort of desperate need of healing my life. And I used my near -death experience as the blueprint for healing. And in the process of that, found a new sort of state of being where I could be. far, far, far more present with my patients and far more open to receiving information from them. And it just really, it assisted me, assisted them in my caring for them. How have other healthcare providers reacted when you told them about your experience?

3:29 I had a physician I worked with in the emergency room who was Catholic, and I was raised Catholic, but she came from that point of view. practicing Catholic, and she sort of stared at me as I was telling her the story, shaking her head, saying, you shouldn't be here. She's like, I mean it, like you really shouldn't be here. I kind of laugh because the medical emergencies that I was involved in were significant, and I lived through them. So that's kind of the point of view. She was in amazement. And then the experience itself, she was also in amazement of. I didn't widely share it with my colleagues because they come from a scientific, very rigid thinking, egocentric, which is completely the opposite of the experience itself, the polarity of who I am really as a person. In the Western medical fields and in Western medicine in general, I sort of didn't share my NDE a lot, but with those that I did share it with, they were pretty floored.

4:43 But in a positive way or did they not believe you? In a positive way. If they didn't believe me, they didn't share that with me. And, you know, I've had just in casual conversations with others who work in the medical field. Sometimes there'd be like the nod of, oh, yeah, that's interesting. And that's even at IAAMS, you know, participating at IAAMS. Sometimes the scientists there are not there for the sharing love and light. They're there for sharing data and facts. And it's hard for them to see beyond that sometimes. It almost seems though, like, if they're at IAAMS, they must at least sort of believe it or what are they even doing there? Yeah, I feel that too. I haven't actually gotten into an in -depth discussion asking questions about that in particular.

5:35 It's just been my experience to a point, to an extent, and it's not all of them. I think that just points to the deeper aspects of ourselves that we are. We wear the suit of a scientist, yet we are this infinite being. that is on some level, whether it's conscious or unconscious, in touch with that realm from which we all emanate, where collectively we all exist still. And I believe, this is my understanding and my belief and my experience, is that we here incarnate in these physical bodies. We are only partially incarnated in these bodies. There's still a greater part of ourselves that exists in the collective, in union with all other beings, creatures. that source of energy information is that highest vibration, and we can get in touch with that if we choose to or are able to allow ourselves to. And that's part of what you learned during your NDE? Yes, and what I've concretely experienced afterwards, and even before, you know, looking back in my life. But yes, that's something that was gleaned from my NDE. Let's jump into that part right now. People are in suspense. Now we're going back quite a few years and you mentioned childbirth, which is when this happened. Did you have any complications leading up to it that made you think that maybe you were going to have some big issues during childbirth? No, I didn't,

7:08 you know, but I did have a precognition, which was interesting. So what happened with me was I was a PA student. I was in my last year of PA school, the very end of my PA training. I'm ready to graduate. And I had had a 20 -week ultrasound where it showed my daughter's kidney. She had a lot of fluid in her kidney. They were concerned about it as I approached the end of my pregnancy and said, we can induce you a week early and get her evaluated sooner to make sure that that kidney is OK. So my scientific PA brain said, oh, absolutely, let's do that. And my higher self sort of for just a brief moment was like, no, that's not necessary. It's okay. But I overrode it with my ego mind and let the fear, the concern sort of take over and agreed to the induction.

8:02 Well, when a mother -to -be is induced, they give a medication called Pitocin, which causes very significant abnormally strong uterine contractions. And I knew that as a student. I completed an OB -GYN rotation and helped deliver babies. And I understood the process of induction. And I also understood that there's complications from induction, one of which is distress, significant distress on the baby that would lead to a cesarean section. And I wanted to avoid that at all costs, but at the same time, I wanted to make sure that my baby was okay. I agreed to the induction, started it after many hours. Overnight, I had not progressed very far in labor, and my daughter showed signs of distress, significant enough to require an emergency C -section. And I knew that the minute I saw the tracing on the monitor.

9:00 They were putting an internal monitor on her scalp, and she, this is my guess, she reflects, she kicks so hard at the pain from it, which they say babies don't feel it, but I believe that's untrue. She kicked so hard she kicked the amniotic fluid into my bloodstream. So that caused my body to mount an allergic reaction to it because it's not supposed to mix. That's what the placenta is for. She kicked so hard that she pushed the amniotic fluid into my system and right away I started having trouble breathing and very quickly decompensated, cardiopulmonary wise, and I coded. They lost my pulse for eight minutes. During that time, what I recall is being unable to catch my breath, them turning me on my left side, and that helps pump the heart pump blood more efficiently to the baby and to your body. They put oxygen on my face and started to wheel me out of the room. By the time they got me out the door into the hallway between my room and the delivery room, the operating room, I remember my vision just sort of closing, sort of like the tunnel is closing, and this feeling of. divine peace just come over me, sort of over my head to the front, and I lost my vision.

10:18 I don't know if I closed my eyes or not, but I was out. And the next point of awareness I had was of looking down, being far above a body, looking down and watching black particles come racing up to where my vision was. And I was sort of surrounded by this undulating, static cloud. and I was completely neutral. I didn't have any concept of the self or of what I was witnessing below. I didn't have any names for anything, any identification of what any of it was. I didn't know that I had been a human in a body. I was just pure consciousness, but I could see. I watched another physician come in the room. I watched them deliver my daughter. Of course, I didn't know that this was a physician, that that was my daughter. None of it. These were human beings.

11:10 and I saw somebody take her and turn around, and I couldn't see what was going on. And I was just curious. I felt this intense curiosity, like, oh, I want to know more about this. And so I moved to the other side of the room. I saw someone to my left shoulder threading something into my chest, which I found out was they put a Swans Gantz catheter in my pulmonary circulation so they could measure for pulmonary hypertension. I recall feeling more and more curious, like that feeling was intensifying. And then I felt something pull to my left and I resisted it because I wanted to find out what was going on and it pulled harder. I just knew it wasn't going to take me unless I wanted to go and it really wanted me to go. And so I just agreed. I just felt, okay, I'll go. And then I started to move to the left super fast. I went through the wall.

12:09 There was like this sort of undulating off white wall with wallpaper border and into this white space that was just a flash of bright, bright white. And then I moved through another sort of opening into this dense particulate matter that I was. I was sort of like reabsorbed in this space and I was moving imperceptibly fast. And again, still just quite neutral and just like, oh, interested in what was going on, curious a bit, and I looked to my left and the side looked like dense particles and then at some points it would be sort of liquidy, gray, white, black, and then turned back into the dense particles.

12:53 Then I turned and I stopped and there was this download that I received. It was sort of like a funnel of information and all came to one point in front of me. It was as if, and this is the best way that I can describe it, it was as if All the questions I'd ever had in my life were answered in sort of this instant of this information. And that one point was love. Love was the answer to everything. At that second, I felt permeated with this divine, blissful love. It was ecstatic. It was everything. It was everything I'd ever need, ever wanted, ever desired. I could exist there eternally and be completely content. Okay, let's pause there for a second. I want to ask some questions about what's happened so far.

13:42 So hold your train of thought. We were talking about love. I don't get that the black particles that you said as you were looking down were rising. That's something I don't think I've heard before. Tell me a little bit more about that. The best way to describe them were like little tiny black dots and they were coming from the body below. The majority of them were from the chest area, but there were some from the head and some from the gut. And they all just moved on their own in sort of like unison up to where my vision was, where I could see. But I was not anything. I was not in any physical form. I was just there.

14:26 I was just energy. I believe that, well, I'll sort of say this at this point. My near -death experience was created by me, by my consciousness, and by universal consciousness source, God, whatever you want to call it, in unison, in tandem, in working with one another, in order for me to have this experience so that I could come back here to the body, sort of grow as a human in this body from it. and then share with the world what it was that I experienced in the efforts or the ultimate goal of helping humanity in some way. You mentioned being pulled from, I think it was from your left side by it. What's the it? It was a force. couldn't identify it, didn't have a desire to identify it, didn't matter what it was, but it was a force greater than my desire to stay. It was something that, it felt neutral, but it felt strong. I call it intuitive feeling, but I was just pure consciousness. So it was just my consciousness understood without having to have a human explanation for all of it that I needed to go. And I would love to know more about the download of info. I have a guess, the

15:59 question that I'm going to ask, I think I know the answer already, but do you know everything that was downloaded to you? Do you remember all of it? You said the answer is to all your questions. Yeah. No, I don't. The one thing that I guess stood out was there's absolutely a higher reason, purpose for absolutely everything. It doesn't matter what you're talking about. That's the one thing I already knew going in. I already understood that, but that confirmed it for me. That's just one example. And I feel like in all the years that I've lived back in this body again, in this life, in this world, I've come to understand the things that I know intuitively to be true.

16:49 I believe I feel came from that experience that download. So I mean, that's where for me, intuition is the highest form of sort of checking to see if something is right or wrong for me. It's all about how I feel. I believe my DNA was restructured during my experience. Wow. Part of that restructuring was this sort of information that I have and it's helped guide me in my life and helps me to not get upset about politics and the state of the world and all of that because there's much bigger things at play here. Yeah, it just doesn't matter as much as we think it does. Okay, let's get back to where you were. You were talking about love being the answer to everything. Explain and keep moving on from there. Okay. Love, love is it. It doesn't matter again what we're talking about. Everything is love in its various forms.

17:53 For me, I can choose to see that or I don't have to see it. I can choose to be in my ego and see things as separate as not love. In that state I was in, it was just everything all encompassed. And I felt like when I felt that love, I felt the eternity of it, the infiniteness of it. It's timeless, boundless. and it expanded everywhere. I expanded out with it everywhere, in all directions, eternally. There was no end to me, or to it. Quickly after that, there was a light off to my right, a little dot of a white light. It was drawing me to it, it wanted me to come to it, so I started to move in that direction. As I got closer, the light became bigger and more of a circle, and it was sort of like a cloudy opening. And in the opening there were these shadow beings there. And in the front was a shadow being of a little boy. And what I could make out was he had overalls on and a, like a straw hat with a wide brim and he needed my help. So I wanted to help him. I started to move into that space. And as I moved into the opening, all the shadow beings, the taller ones, like I call them adults, but the taller shadow beings sort of fanned out. on my left, like in a line.

19:12 And I went to what felt like the center of the space, and it was still like a misty, cloudy atmosphere. And I felt all of these shadow beings needed my help, wanted my help, wanted me to help them. And I felt, yes, I want to help you all. And they started to come at me at that point and dart away, come at me and dart away from all directions. And what I quickly realized was that they were actually, they wanted my energy. They wanted me, not just my help, but they wanted me. I started to feel like I was diminishing there. And if I had stayed, I would have just given, almost given myself away to all of these entities that needed me, needed my energy and sacrificed myself. And I chose, no, I want to leave now. And it wasn't scary. It wasn't frightening in any way. It was completely neutral. As soon as I felt I wanted to go, I wanted to leave, I was pulled out of there, again, to the left.

20:14 Pulled out, back in the dense particle space. That was very brief flash moment. And then I went through a less distinct opening. It was more particulate matter, circular again, but then I merged through it into this gorgeous Eden. scene with rolling green hills and a rock waterfall and dense evergreen forest and just beautiful yellow flowers span out in front of me and it was just absolutely gorgeous and I merged with all of it. It was as if I merged with all of nature. I became the flowers and the trees and the water and the rocks and the sky, grass. It was bliss, again, still blissful, blissful feeling, blissful love. And then I was flanked on both sides. By these tall beige drapey kind of humanoid figures. They didn't really have faces They just I felt them and they were feeling to me and what they felt to me was you can stay here You can go to what comes beyond this or you can go back after I left my body I didn't have any concept of my human life any memory. No, I didn't have an identity as Christa. I was still my consciousness without a name for a moment paused, because I could have stayed in this Eden, too, eternally.

21:33 Didn't know why I was choosing, but I chose to go back. As soon as I felt that, back to these beings, I started to move backwards. And they turned, as I was moving, they turned and communicated to me, well, if you go back, you need to share what you learned here. And I agreed. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the ICU. Wow, that's really cool. That's a lot. One thing that I don't understand, and I'm sure you've thought about it, so maybe you can explain it to me, is if you didn't feel an attachment to that body or even that that was Krista, why did you choose to go back, do you think? Well, I think it's not just one thing. It's sort of like a multitude of things. I believe that I chose to come back to the life I was in and continue that life as the Krista. that I was for the most part. And part of that reason for coming back was that all of my family wanted me back. I don't know if Maggie did, my daughter, because, you know, she was just born, but she probably had, on some level, had a desire for her mother. All of that energy pulling me back, I believe, did contribute to that choice on some, you know, some level.

22:51 You know, I'm so grateful. I chose to come back because this life has had its ups and downs in the human form, but it's been pretty, pretty amazing. And I want to hear a lot more about what you've learned and how you've applied that since then. But one last thing, what you termed as the Eden scene. Could you give us any bit more detail about that? What did it look like, feel like, smell like? Oh, okay. Well, it felt completely blissful. It felt completely perfect. The colors were very bright, brighter than normal, but not excessive. I didn't have any sense of smells or sound in my experience. I just felt in unity with all of nature, all of the elements.

23:44 I was it, and it was me. There was no disconnect there. We were fluidly like a part of one another. All of the trees and grass and flowers and water and rocks and sky and sun. Everybody that has an NDE comes back changed, but not everybody describes it as having their DNA actually changed. Describe that a little bit and some of the changes that you felt after. Okay, so before I... I had my daughter. I had taken my bores as a PA, graduated, officially graduated PA school at the end of June. I had her in July. And I was all about the science, all about knowing absolutely everything so that I could best help my patients. I prided myself on the facts. You know, I knew, I just knew it all. And I was like really proud of myself and knew I was going to do a great job and I couldn't wait to start taking care of people.

24:44 After I came back, I didn't remember that I was a P .A. student. I didn't remember I'd graduated. I didn't even remember I had had a baby. I didn't remember my pregnancy. So there was that sort of lag in recovery of my brain functioning. It was sort of like I liken it to layers of an onion being peeled where it reveals more and more each time you peel a layer. And for me, that tended to happen after sleeping. I would wake up and I would feel a little bit more like the old Krista because I was blissed out. I had zero anxiety. I was type A personality before. I was completely the opposite when I woke up. There was not a care in the world. Everything was wonderful.

25:35 Yet, when I got home with my daughter, my mom was here. And she helped for a few weeks, and she watched me. She let me do things. She watched me and made sure I was OK. But she's like, you just seem to know what to do, is how she phrased it. I worked out of my intuition. That was my reference point for doing the next thing that I did. I just followed my intuition. I didn't see the need for speaking because I felt everybody knew what I was feeling. So they would, you know. pick up on that. And that's how I communicated. And then I slowly, you know, as time went on, the weeks went by, and I would wake up and I would feel more like the old Krista. I realized like, I need to communicate like this or that, you know, by speaking it. And they thought maybe I had like a problem talking from the event, because it was eight minutes without any, any intervention. They stopped CPR to deliver my daughter and control the bleeding I had. So, you know, they thought maybe it was brain damage.

26:41 They weren't sure. They were told I had a 50 -50 chance of requiring 24 -hour care for the rest of my life. They had no idea what kind of state I would be in when I came to. But I was 36 hours intubated in the ICU. And then they started to wean me off of the medication that they had to sedate me to keep me from pulling the tube out. And then... they started to assess my functioning. And I had memory issues. I was a different personality in terms of my drive, my ambition to get things done, which I was very, again, type A. I was completely the opposite. So I think that was a big part of the restructuring.

27:21 Not only that, but I have an ability to understand things from a perspective where I'm not quite sure that I would have had otherwise. I used to, like, you know, get colds and illnesses and whatnot and get pretty sick before. I don't now. I'm really quite healthy, with the exception of a small issue with blood pressure, but that's from nine years in the emergency room. I feel like I became someone that was just genetically... I feel like I had like an upgrade almost, like a restructuring. I don't feel like a walk -in, but I do feel like I am, I don't know, structurally like a more sound human, I guess I can say. I don't know, it's hard to describe. That is so interesting. Most people feel like their personality has changed a lot, but physically, that's very unusual. That's interesting. I'm going to ask you a personal question you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Did all of these changes have anything to do with your divorce? Because you mentioned you have a second husband now.

28:37 Yes, I mean, but I feel like what if I didn't have a near -death experience and how would my first marriage have played out? And I wonder if we would still be together today, only because there were so many external factors. my ex -husband was a touring musician, our entire marriage. We met when we were 20 and 21 and grew up together. We were married together for 22 years before we separated. But I do believe that the acceleration of my starting to live my truth within myself, because I had still tried to integrate back into the world, back into this role, like... into this role as a PA and Western medicine and all of that and just getting along in the world.

29:26 And I just, it didn't feel like it fit. There was this like greater sort of calling I had of, no, pay attention to this. It's like, it's about the love. It's about the love. And I ignored that for so many years. And when I finally started to focus on just loving myself, coming from that point of view, all of my interactions with my patients, with my colleagues, with my family, That's when my ex -husband started to sort of go through his own transition in his life. We just came to a point where we looked at each other. We're like really good friends. And we're like, you know what? It's probably best if we live our lives separately. Him and my ex -mother -in -law come for holidays and we have our daughter together and we all get along. I love him. He's a great person, but he wasn't my person as time went on anymore. I wasn't his so it was just kind of like okay. Well, let's let's go our separate ways and still be really good friends What's it like now being married to someone who also is an experiencer? Well, it's fabulous because well, not only is Ainsley like an amazing person human being but he really gets it and we are on the same sort of I wouldn't say level of understanding because it's not like there's higher or lower levels. It's just the depth of understanding of who we are and why we're here. It's fabulous because we can talk about all this stuff. It's

30:56 very comfortable, wonderful, expansive. I'm always growing as a person with him. Yeah, it's been such a gift. That's awesome. Okay, winding down here. A couple last questions. Number one, how much fear of death do you have right now? I'm not afraid to die at all. I always quote this Woody Allen line that he gives. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. But that's assuming it's going to be something horrible. And death is a beautiful transition, my gosh. You know, we talk about birth, and it's the same for death. And I've been in the presence of the time when some of my patients have transitioned. And it gives me chills just talking about it. I've gone to the other side and come back. It's like, it's still, it is a, it is a gorgeous, gorgeous process.

31:49 And I, I hope that I am in a place when I do transition where I am with my family, because I would love to just have that moment where I get to say, bye, I'll see you on the other side. But I've never really gone so, you know, watch out for me. I'll still be visiting and letting you know I'm around It'd be great to be in that much control Yeah, when you transition over to know here it comes so I can say the very very last things smile Take a step through that door Yeah Yeah, how do we bottle that up? That'd be a good one. Lastly for those that maybe need a little bit of a Oh, just a message of hope today. They don't know whether they should believe in the afterlife or not. What do you have to say to them? Well, I can just share from my experience that we don't ever really die. We transition form. We just move from one state of energy to another. What we leave behind is this temporal existence where everything is transitory and we go to another realm, whatever we choose, and we get to experience what we experience there.

33:06 We have free will. We have the ability to choose. We do get to experience the things that we imagine death is like, because our expectations and our beliefs, they do play a part in our experience. For me, it was law of attraction in action, my entire NDE. That was the overarching energy with love. Krista, thank you a ton for being with me today. I appreciate it. Thank you. This is great. Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share your near -death experience, or if you have questions or comments about the show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.