Renee's NDE at 5 - "I Was Moving Up Into The Sky"

WEBVTT

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From the time that they pronounced me that was

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a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I

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could see people screaming and crying But I didn't

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realize that was actually my physical body because

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I was somewhere else The only thing that I could

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feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace

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there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

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greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back

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home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.

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Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody.

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We have a fun guest today, Renee Martin coming

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to us from Texas. How are you Renee? Great, great.

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Thank you very much for having me. Well, you've

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got an interesting story and I think it's a good

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time to remind people that every NDE is different.

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Oh, I don't need to remind people. I say that

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all the time. But yours happened at a young age.

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So memories are, you know, are limited. The most

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important part is the trajectory that it set

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you on your life from there. So we'll be going

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through all that. But if you don't mind, if you

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could just take one minute and just tell us a

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little bit about Renee. And that can be anything

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from where you live or your family or anything

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so we can get to know you a little bit. Yeah,

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sure. So I just moved from Montana to Texas to

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be closest to one of my daughters I had two girls

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and my youngest is you just recently married

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And so I came here to be a little bit closer

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and she's in her 30s early 30s My oldest daughter

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is in Northern California where I have she's

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giving me two beautiful granddaughters So she's

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uh her late 30s So just the two girls and me

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it's just meet solo, you know I've been going

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through so many changes and have been doing a

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lot of creative things that I never thought I

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would ever do. So the last, I'd say, at least

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15 years, I've been doing art. I've been doing

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a lot of art and it kind of came out of a death,

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my brother's death. So I've been doing that.

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It's been going great. Right now I'm in 10th

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place for the Johnny Depp competition that's

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going on. So I have to be in top 10 to make it

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to the next round. So kind of fingers crossed.

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We'll see how that goes. And I've also been right.

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I've been writing my whole life. I'd love to

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write photography. I do a lot of photography.

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I stay busy doing a lot of created stuff. Is

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that one of your paintings behind you there?

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Yeah, that's a it's acrylic core in the background

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and then it's the trees are made with glue, hot

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glue. So they have a nice texture to them. So

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everything goes behind it and then the tree goes

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over top. So yeah, that's a really fun piece.

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Well, the big question that I have for you is

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this. How do you like your new son -in -law?

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He's great. But both my girls, this is their

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round two. So they definitely did it right the

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second time around for both of them. They're

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in love with each other. And that's really where

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it should be. You know, but when you're young

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and I did that because I'm very young and divorce

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was a blessing for me. But yeah, he's great both

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both of them are well I want to go ahead and

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jump right into it Take us back to when you were

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just a little girl Wow, you had kind of a rough

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upbringing family -wise I don't know how much

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of that you want to tell us about but if you

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feel like it go ahead and let's lead up to the

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fateful day Yeah, so I'll try to nutshell it.

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I'm gonna do a little bit before that what actually

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happened And so I recently turned 60 in January

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and I just needed to write a story. I just needed

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to get my life out on paper and I didn't know

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why. I wasn't compelled to do it, but I just

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felt like I needed to. I was in January. And

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I started with age five, but as I started writing

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the story, I started remembering things that

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my uncle told me. Uncle by friendship, he was

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my dad's best friend. He started telling me stories.

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My brother used to tell me stories about things.

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And I never put the two together really until

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I wrote it all out on paper. And it was the most

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amazing thing I couldn't gift I could have given

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myself was to write all the trauma out rather

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than just remember it here and there. I never

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talked about it. You know, nobody wants to know

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about it. It's kind of. So anyway, my father,

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a born and raised Catholic, was apparently, I

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found out later that he was he was hand selected

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by a Nixon mafia leader. To be a soldier fighter

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his his dad. My grandpa was a Mexican boxer in

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Mexico They are all born. They're all from Mexico

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US scout scouted him and said hey come and fight

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for the United States So that's how they got

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to the United States I guess the Apple didn't

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fall far from the tree because he was a good

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fighter and I used to hear that all the time

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from his brother I just never thought anything

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of it. You know, I just it's just kind of like

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people talking, you know Until I started putting

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all pieces together and a good fighter can be

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a positive thing, you know an Olympic boxer that

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kind of thing great Yeah, I mean my grandpa was

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really good boxer. He won a lot of champions

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in Mexico I don't know how many he did here,

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but he he boxed I don't know how long he boxed

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in the United States, but he was a professional

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boxer He wasn't a street fighter where my dad

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was a street fighter He used to get picked on

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apparently a lot and he was the last man standing

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and so I think that's what caught the leaders

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eye on him Was hey, we need to they call them

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mascots. So so we were like we got to go get

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that guy again on our side So that's what they

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did age 13. So his life changed Traumatically,

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you know for himself because I don't think he's

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a bad person or anything like that You know,

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I I think that he had a very traumatic upbringing

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I I found out after doing some research that

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he was you know I didn't believe it when I when

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he told me that and then I started writing this

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story and Then and then I called him again, and

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I was like I need to get a little more validation

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You know I need to understand this a little bit

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more He gave me some more, but I felt like he

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was resistant. I can't really share like oh She

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she's going somewhere with this, and I don't

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know if I want to share all of that my dad's

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past getting past my father, he went from Catholicism

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to Jehovah's Witness. And I honestly believe

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that because the reason why he did that was when

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you are part of this particular mafia, it was

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the white fence gang was the name of this mafia,

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Mexican mafia. And I guess that's called blood

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in, blood out, you know, like a mafia where you

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don't leave the gang. You don't just decide one

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day, hey, I'm going to go, you know, peace out.

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You know, it's been fun. We call it tenure. Yeah.

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No, not the good, not the good kind of tenure.

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I know you don't, you know, but yeah, you definitely,

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you know, if you guess you're in, blood in, blood

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out, that's, that's, that's a pretty serious

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tenure. I'm trying to shorten this and not go

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down the whole path, but. That's okay. You're

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leading up to the day that you were injured.

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Yeah. Yeah. And, and so I think all of the things

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he, he had a family in tokes, there was three

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of us and I was newborn. I believe in so from

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1950 to 1966 when I was born In 66 is when he's

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like, okay, we're gonna go so then he became

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a JW I I believe he hid behind This religion

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to hide from them cuz you know, he took us off

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grid and we've traveled all over the place, but

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I don't think this I don't think the anger ever

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left him. You know, I know that because I grew

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up in this house and me and my brother kind of

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got the worst of it. He really lashed out. He

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was very physical, violent. He was emotional.

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You know, he was also mentally violent, you know,

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and he very manipulative kind of thing. Anyway,

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the day it happened, I guess he was having one

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of those days and came home early. I was five

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and There was a little boy who lived next door

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and we lived on a farm where there was nobody

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around. So we didn't have neighbors. We had like

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a mile away. You could see a house, you know,

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like down in the distance somewhere. One of the

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little boys came home with my sister and two

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years older and just wait until his dad got home.

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We were in the tent. My sister went to get snacks.

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My dad came home, found out that I was in the

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tent with a seven -year -old little boy. And

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I guess he just I guess he lost it. So the tap

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went flying. All I remember is we're playing

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duck duck goose. And and I heard heard these

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heavy footprints. And I know that kind of energy

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from him because he's done it. I could tell when

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he's, you know, in that place, the tent just

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kind of went flying. And and then I blacked out

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when I opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground,

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not in the tent, looking up at the sky. I don't.

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I don't remember dying or anything like that.

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I remember when I woke up, I felt like my body

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was inside of a bell, you know, like I was kind

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of vibrating. Maybe the voices sounded like they

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were very muted, maybe even under like when someone's

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trying to talk underwater or something. And I

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remember just staring at the sky and the sky

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seemed to be the focus for me when I was laying

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there. And I do remember bits and pieces of that

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because it's most like flashes of little things.

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I remember the sky, I was moving, all of a sudden

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I saw these floating heads come in. One was my

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mother, but the other one I thought was my grandmother.

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What I found out later, there was nobody else

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there except for my father and my mother. So

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whoever that mystery lady was, there was two

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ladies heads and they're all freaking out. But

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I remember moving past them, going up into the

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sky. But I wasn't just like, I was moving up.

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I felt like I was moving. I could see the ground

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below me. I could see the farm and all of our

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animals. And then I just blacked out. And when

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I woke up again, I was being rushed on the gurney

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down the hallway into this kind of a sterile

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green room. This black mask goes on and then

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lights out. So that was the gist, I believe,

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of what happened. And I call it an NDE because

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I've never been told you died. I've never been

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told that. My family, in fact, denied or not

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denied, but made up a story that didn't make

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any sense. But I think that because my dad was

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hiding from this mafia, if they tell him the

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truth, I don't know if they had CPS back then.

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But from what I understand, I don't know if you

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can see the scar on my face. Scar kind of goes

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all the way up and around here. And that's where

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a pole hit me in the face, which is the only

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was the pole in the tent. There is apparently

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some arteries, some pretty significant arteries

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that run through here. And I had 31 stitches.

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So I just kind of started putting all the pieces

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together that way. So I can never really honest,

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I can't say I have a piece of paper that says

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that I died. But with all the things, when I

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came back, when I came back, it was just so different.

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I started having a lot of experiences, supernatural

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experiences. Yeah, we'll get to those in a second.

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Some people might ask me, why are you having

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somebody on the show that just was unconscious

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for a little while? And the reason why is I think

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there's more to it than that. And one of the

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reasons I think there's more to it than that

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is because of what happened in your life afterwards.

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But also when people are just knocked out, for

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those of us that have had that kind of experience,

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you remember something before you eventually

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remember waking up. You don't remember going

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up in the sky and looking down on the farm But

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you don't remember those kinds of things. You

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don't remember Seeing a woman who wasn't there

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and you didn't actually say you felt like you

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left your body But the fact that you were going

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up to the sky and looking down Sounds very much

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like an NDE to me if you say that's what it was.

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I'm just fine with that definition Okay, so you

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don't need to make excuses or anything else and

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guess what? I don't need to either I feel like

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having you on here because I think it's a very

00:12:42.049 --> 00:12:45.429
interesting, very interesting story. And these

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kinds of things early in life can change the

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trajectory of our entire life. So is there anything

00:12:51.990 --> 00:12:54.669
else that you want to add to that part before

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we move on and talk about things that happened

00:12:57.769 --> 00:13:00.789
after? Well, the other things that I do remember

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before getting to the hospital was being on my

00:13:04.529 --> 00:13:07.679
dad's lap or on his knee. Like I was laying,

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my head was laying. And to get to any hospital

00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.179
from our house was probably 45 minutes if he

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was really, really going, really speeding through.

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And there was nobody else that I can remember

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in a car. So I can only imagine how much blood

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came out of a five year old. Also, the Jehovah's

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Witnesses don't believe in blood transfusions,

00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:30.519
but I would have to say that I think he kind

00:13:30.519 --> 00:13:33.039
of broke the rule because I can't imagine all

00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:36.679
of that happening and it's, you know. everything

00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:39.600
coming out of a five -year -old that way in such

00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.480
a long period of time. So I just wanted to add

00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:44.399
that little piece too. So I do remember that.

00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:46.600
I remember staring at that steering wheel because

00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:49.679
those big steering wheels back in the 70s, you

00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:52.120
know, in the station wagon. That was the only

00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:56.039
thing, the last bit that I remember before getting

00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.779
to the hospital. Ah, the big steering wheels

00:13:58.779 --> 00:14:02.720
back in those days. No child seats. Nobody wore

00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:06.080
seat belts. No, they were just lap belts only.

00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:10.000
I know we used to often be standing in the car.

00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:13.820
Yeah, right Yeah back in the 60s. It was normal

00:14:13.820 --> 00:14:17.679
for a two or three year old To stand on the front

00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:20.919
seat and hold the dashboard So Renee, if you

00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:23.279
could tell us just briefly, I don't know if you

00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:25.440
remember anything about the physical recovery

00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:28.220
And if so give us just a little bit of that,

00:14:28.299 --> 00:14:31.940
but then you can go ahead and hop into how things

00:14:31.940 --> 00:14:35.080
changed You had mentioned as we talked before

00:14:35.080 --> 00:14:38.980
some paranormal ability kinds of things. So go

00:14:38.980 --> 00:14:40.759
ahead and hop into that whenever you're comfortable

00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:44.440
Okay, so after so I was in the hospital for a

00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.600
few days. I don't know how many days I do remember

00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:50.379
being there and the nurses really hated me because

00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:52.940
I didn't like needles and they wrapped them unattended

00:14:52.940 --> 00:14:56.080
They were in the wall, but I remember being in

00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.639
this this huge it looked like a giant crib You

00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:02.100
know to keep the five -year -old inside But I

00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:03.519
was there for a few days and then when I came

00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:07.100
home was the first time I saw the floating head

00:15:07.100 --> 00:15:10.759
lady. She was in my room and I wasn't afraid

00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:13.379
of her. You know, I didn't know who she was,

00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.860
but I didn't. My mom walked in right when that

00:15:16.860 --> 00:15:19.779
happened and she said, who are you talking to?

00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:22.940
And I said, the lady. And I pointed to the corner

00:15:22.940 --> 00:15:25.519
where I saw her and she said, there's nobody

00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:28.519
there. I'm like, oh, well, maybe I was asleep.

00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:31.179
I had to do that a lot. I had to kind of like

00:15:31.690 --> 00:15:34.769
make things up, especially with my dad. He'd

00:15:34.769 --> 00:15:37.850
be reading a book to me, pushing me down on the

00:15:37.850 --> 00:15:39.509
ground for no apparent reason, just kind of like,

00:15:39.669 --> 00:15:42.210
he just, a light switched, kind of flicked. So

00:15:42.210 --> 00:15:45.929
I kind of, you know, try to cover up. And I remember

00:15:45.929 --> 00:15:48.710
one time he did that and I was on the ground

00:15:48.710 --> 00:15:51.230
waiting for it. And I looked up cause it was

00:15:51.230 --> 00:15:53.929
real quiet. And he was just standing there staring

00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:55.750
at me like, what are you doing on the ground?

00:15:56.350 --> 00:15:58.549
Oh, I think I fell asleep. and fall off your

00:15:58.549 --> 00:16:01.250
lap. So I had to do a lot of that with him throughout

00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:04.450
my life. Not just me, but my older brother. I

00:16:04.450 --> 00:16:06.710
had two other sisters, but they really didn't

00:16:06.710 --> 00:16:09.230
get messed with. My brother and I were the stronger

00:16:09.230 --> 00:16:13.830
out of the four. So I think that's why, I don't

00:16:13.830 --> 00:16:15.629
know, my grandmother told me, well, the reason

00:16:15.629 --> 00:16:17.070
why it picks on you is because you're strong.

00:16:17.470 --> 00:16:20.330
So it started with her and then it kind of started

00:16:20.330 --> 00:16:23.870
snowballing into other things where I would know

00:16:23.870 --> 00:16:26.169
things before they would happen. You know, I

00:16:26.169 --> 00:16:28.490
was spied, so I couldn't say that those things

00:16:28.490 --> 00:16:32.450
were happening before or after, but I definitely

00:16:32.450 --> 00:16:34.750
remember them after. I don't remember that so

00:16:34.750 --> 00:16:37.870
much before. It got to a point where it started

00:16:37.870 --> 00:16:40.029
kind of freaking them out and I had to really

00:16:40.029 --> 00:16:42.889
be careful about what I was saying in the conversation

00:16:42.889 --> 00:16:45.629
around my parents because I felt like they were

00:16:45.629 --> 00:16:48.129
going to send me somewhere, not, you know, away.

00:16:48.929 --> 00:16:51.840
I would tell them. these experiences and they

00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:54.000
would just hand me the Bible. And it's like,

00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:56.320
where do I turn to figure out how to make these

00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:58.600
things go away? You know, like the Bible's not

00:16:58.600 --> 00:17:00.620
going to help me. So I didn't have a great relationship

00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:05.380
with God because my dad used religion as his

00:17:05.380 --> 00:17:08.819
kind of a, when you call it, when somebody is

00:17:08.819 --> 00:17:11.039
going to testify that it's a relocation thing,

00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:13.240
there's a war for it. I felt like he was using

00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:16.940
it for that because he was hiding from the mafia.

00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:20.180
But was it also kind of an excuse for his behavior?

00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:24.240
Well, possibly because he hid a lot of things,

00:17:24.420 --> 00:17:28.160
you know, he physically abused us, you know,

00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:30.380
me and my brother, especially. And we wouldn't

00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:32.440
go to church that day. We could really get to

00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:36.000
stay home. Or if people, the elders in the congregation

00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:39.220
there would see marks on us and they started

00:17:39.220 --> 00:17:41.740
asking questions, you know, how did this happen

00:17:41.740 --> 00:17:46.240
kind of thing? Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, thank

00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:49.109
you. You mentioned this talking head lady, as

00:17:49.109 --> 00:17:51.630
you called her. I'm not even sure what to ask.

00:17:51.849 --> 00:17:54.529
How often did you see her? I saw her the one

00:17:54.529 --> 00:17:56.589
time when I came back. So I saw her floating

00:17:56.589 --> 00:17:59.289
head. And then when I came back home, I saw her.

00:17:59.289 --> 00:18:01.529
I saw her again. But this time she was in the

00:18:01.529 --> 00:18:03.869
room, not just hovering above me. But she didn't

00:18:03.869 --> 00:18:06.470
really even say anything. So she was just there.

00:18:06.750 --> 00:18:09.869
Fast forwarding these experiences. They would

00:18:09.869 --> 00:18:11.789
come and go. Sometimes they would be strong and

00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:14.329
sometimes they would kind of chill out. But there

00:18:14.329 --> 00:18:17.809
was a guy when I was 16. I was playing out and

00:18:17.809 --> 00:18:20.630
outside, you know, playing street ball with the

00:18:20.630 --> 00:18:23.289
neighborhood kids. And I'm so tired, I had to

00:18:23.289 --> 00:18:25.470
hurry up and get ready for dinner. And I started

00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:27.630
to undress, but the window was open and it was

00:18:27.630 --> 00:18:30.190
getting dark outside. So I panicked like, oh,

00:18:30.230 --> 00:18:32.349
they could see, you know, and I turned around

00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:35.029
to go pull the blind. And there is this floating

00:18:35.029 --> 00:18:39.609
guy out my window. And he came around a lot after

00:18:39.609 --> 00:18:43.670
I saw him. And he was dressed kind of look like

00:18:43.670 --> 00:18:46.009
he was in like one of those pea coats. I know

00:18:46.009 --> 00:18:48.829
he was floating. He was, he was just called what

00:18:48.829 --> 00:18:51.170
it is. He was a ghost. So he was floating outside

00:18:51.170 --> 00:18:54.289
my window from the waist up because if, if not,

00:18:54.369 --> 00:18:56.289
then he would have had to been like 10 foot tall

00:18:56.289 --> 00:18:58.890
to be able to see him from the waist up. And

00:18:58.890 --> 00:19:00.369
I could see what he's dressed. I could see the

00:19:00.369 --> 00:19:02.609
hat that he had on. It was real pale looking,

00:19:02.609 --> 00:19:05.210
you know, but he didn't say anything either.

00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:08.470
He just kind of looked. That's all he did. He

00:19:08.470 --> 00:19:11.650
kind of just looked at me and it scared, it scared

00:19:11.650 --> 00:19:14.950
me. because my parents put a fear labor on it.

00:19:14.950 --> 00:19:17.269
And on top of that, it started calling them demons,

00:19:18.109 --> 00:19:20.170
which really changes the trajectory of things

00:19:20.170 --> 00:19:22.470
like this, because you hear of these things happening

00:19:22.470 --> 00:19:24.890
all the time. Of course, I can't prove any of

00:19:24.890 --> 00:19:27.390
this to you guys. I'm just telling you the story.

00:19:28.109 --> 00:19:30.569
So I had to just deal with it. I had to deal

00:19:30.569 --> 00:19:34.750
with even attacks. I feel like as I got older,

00:19:35.450 --> 00:19:38.490
I got tired of being free. So I started teaming

00:19:38.490 --> 00:19:42.599
up with mediums. and paranormal groups just to

00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:46.019
kind of meet things head on and try to understand

00:19:46.019 --> 00:19:48.980
what I was experiencing, why I was experiencing

00:19:48.980 --> 00:19:51.640
it, you know, and how to deal with it. Besides

00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.119
fear, because that's what my family were fearing

00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:56.140
it. They didn't understand. And I've been asked

00:19:56.140 --> 00:19:58.980
like, well, are you guys seeing dead people in

00:19:58.980 --> 00:20:01.259
your bedroom? You know, like, how come I'm the

00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:04.680
only one seeing them? So this went on my whole

00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:07.039
life until I started working with the paranormal

00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:09.559
groups. I worked with them for a couple of years,

00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:13.480
but it helped me not be afraid. And it helped

00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:18.700
me help other people like me, which became my

00:20:18.700 --> 00:20:21.200
goal. So I didn't do a lot of paranormal work

00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:23.079
after that because the paranormal people, they

00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.440
just want EDU keys that they can, you know, I

00:20:26.440 --> 00:20:29.799
have a whole load of the EPs. I was on my ghost

00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:32.960
story because they thought my story, I had an

00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:37.329
EDU key and evidence of spirit activity. And

00:20:37.329 --> 00:20:39.430
every time I would did the paranormal group thing,

00:20:39.609 --> 00:20:42.150
they always wanted me to go because I always

00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:45.369
got the EVPs. I guess because I can communicate

00:20:45.369 --> 00:20:48.210
or they can mutate with me. You mentioned that

00:20:48.210 --> 00:20:51.109
you had learned a lot about the why. Tell me

00:20:51.109 --> 00:20:54.829
what you've learned. Why is this sort of thing

00:20:54.829 --> 00:20:58.029
happening to you and at such a young age? Well,

00:20:58.269 --> 00:21:02.029
I started going into NDE circles because I was

00:21:02.029 --> 00:21:06.450
very attracted to that. I started learning about

00:21:06.450 --> 00:21:08.910
near -death experiences, but I never really,

00:21:08.910 --> 00:21:11.549
I hadn't really chopped up what happened to me

00:21:11.549 --> 00:21:15.789
until later. That this has got to be part of

00:21:15.789 --> 00:21:19.130
the NDE. And you hear this a lot too. I worked

00:21:19.130 --> 00:21:21.450
really closely with Terry Daniels, the Afterlife

00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:23.750
Awareness Conference. She's a good friend of

00:21:23.750 --> 00:21:26.710
mine. We would talk about this, you know, and

00:21:26.710 --> 00:21:29.410
she would recant some of the things that others

00:21:29.410 --> 00:21:33.950
would be talking about that had NDE's. And going...

00:21:33.690 --> 00:21:36.569
Going across the veil is the only thing that

00:21:36.569 --> 00:21:40.849
really sums it up. We've stepped out of this

00:21:40.849 --> 00:21:43.490
reality and into another one. Some people come

00:21:43.490 --> 00:21:46.829
back with very very vivid stories and accounts

00:21:46.829 --> 00:21:49.490
and others, you know, I think everybody's a little

00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:51.369
bit different and I know their stories are always

00:21:51.369 --> 00:21:55.509
different, but but always miracles to me. I'm

00:21:55.509 --> 00:21:57.630
going to call miracles because these things that

00:21:57.630 --> 00:22:00.670
are happening are not the norm. I experience

00:22:00.670 --> 00:22:03.980
it all the time. I'll tell you about To me, this

00:22:03.980 --> 00:22:06.119
is a miracle. This is the kind of thing that

00:22:06.119 --> 00:22:08.400
happens to me all the time. It blows my mind.

00:22:08.859 --> 00:22:12.400
I wrote my memoir, A Walk Back to God, because

00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:15.920
I left God in the dust. I was really, I was an

00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.779
atheist. And even during all those times where

00:22:18.779 --> 00:22:21.799
I was doing paranormal work and trying to figure

00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:25.059
myself out, I never went to the dark side. I

00:22:25.059 --> 00:22:28.619
always kept myself right on the line. You know,

00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:34.000
I never stepped over into one or the other. 60

00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:37.940
in January turned 60. I wrote 60 ,000 words of

00:22:37.940 --> 00:22:43.039
my memoir in 60 days at the age 60. So really

00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:45.720
unusual because I just knocked this stuff out,

00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:48.460
right? And I just once I started I was hard to

00:22:48.460 --> 00:22:51.059
stop. It's all I did every day. I just knocked

00:22:51.059 --> 00:22:54.259
it out. Okay, so I typed the end and this is

00:22:54.259 --> 00:22:57.380
again the title of the book, A Walk Back to God

00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:01.420
because I don't... do scripture. I don't memorize

00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:04.420
scripture. I don't go to church. I have gone

00:23:04.420 --> 00:23:06.599
to church, but I don't don't do the whole church

00:23:06.599 --> 00:23:09.420
thing. So I go outside the day after I finished

00:23:09.420 --> 00:23:12.359
writing, I go outside to leave my place to go

00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:15.380
run an errand. And this note falls from the crack

00:23:15.380 --> 00:23:18.700
of my door. It was just a handwritten note. Actually,

00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:20.759
I have it handwritten note. And I opened and

00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:23.640
it said John one one. And it was a scripture

00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:25.619
because I'm not a scripture. person I saw, I

00:23:25.619 --> 00:23:27.940
thought, yeah, you know, whenever some church

00:23:27.940 --> 00:23:30.579
person put that on everybody's door, right? And

00:23:30.579 --> 00:23:32.779
so I almost threw it away. And but something

00:23:32.779 --> 00:23:34.839
stopped me. I put it in my pocket and ran my

00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:36.839
errand and I came back and I reached into my

00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:38.660
pocket and I was like, oh, that's right. This

00:23:38.660 --> 00:23:42.099
is here. So I opened it up and I read it and

00:23:42.099 --> 00:23:45.380
it said John one one. So I don't know. Are you

00:23:45.380 --> 00:23:48.279
a scripture person? A little bit, but I don't

00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.440
know that I have that one memorized. So tell

00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:55.180
me what it is. So John one one says, In the beginning,

00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:58.940
the word was with God, and the word was God.

00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:03.259
Okay, and I just finished 60 ,000 words about

00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:06.900
a walk back to God. I should have known that

00:24:06.900 --> 00:24:09.519
one, by the way, because now that you say it,

00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:12.079
yeah, I know it now. Oh, it gives me chills.

00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:14.740
It's like, how? But it's this kind of thing that

00:24:14.740 --> 00:24:17.200
happens a lot. I could tell you a whole lot of

00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:19.859
stories. Where did this, where does this come

00:24:19.859 --> 00:24:22.000
from? And what should I be doing with it? And

00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.480
so I'm with the scripture. all the time now.

00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:27.619
I'm reading scripture every day. I'm journaling

00:24:27.619 --> 00:24:30.500
scripture. I'm asking questions about my life

00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:33.339
and then I'm, you know, allowing the book, the

00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:37.359
Bible, to just help me navigate through whatever

00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.160
I'm going through. So I've been very, very close

00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:44.700
to God and the Bible ever since I wrote that

00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:47.619
story. So I had asked you a while ago about the

00:24:47.619 --> 00:24:52.559
why. And maybe that's part of that why, but also

00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:56.619
I'm curious more about why do you think that

00:24:56.619 --> 00:24:59.519
those paranormal things were happening? Did you

00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:01.579
have something to gain from it, something to

00:25:01.579 --> 00:25:05.339
learn from it, in other words? I think that the

00:25:05.339 --> 00:25:07.420
paranormal things that were just happening, not

00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:09.579
the things that I was seeking out, right? Is

00:25:09.579 --> 00:25:11.640
that what you're asking? Yes, starting when you

00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:14.380
were five years old after this accident. Well,

00:25:14.380 --> 00:25:16.740
that's a really good question. I haven't really

00:25:16.740 --> 00:25:19.990
sat and... thought about that well when you turn

00:25:19.990 --> 00:25:23.509
61 maybe that'll be the thing to do well i what

00:25:23.509 --> 00:25:27.670
i feel like right now is i obviously have something

00:25:27.670 --> 00:25:30.309
that i'm supposed to be doing here i was saved

00:25:30.309 --> 00:25:33.289
i think i'm gonna call it saved okay bleeding

00:25:33.289 --> 00:25:36.670
out for a 45 minute drive after after being smacked

00:25:36.670 --> 00:25:40.369
in the face and 31 stitches later i can't imagine

00:25:40.369 --> 00:25:43.529
how i didn't die i mean really die you know like

00:25:43.529 --> 00:25:46.269
i don't know how i could have been saved from

00:25:46.269 --> 00:25:49.559
that Doing research about it was like all the

00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.039
I went to all the AIs, you know What could this

00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:54.359
you know, could I possibly say been saved from

00:25:54.359 --> 00:25:56.500
this to me? You know, they all kind of said well,

00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.099
it was kind of miracle. So I'll go I'm not going

00:25:59.099 --> 00:26:01.299
off of the eye. I'm just gonna chalk it up this

00:26:01.299 --> 00:26:04.220
I'm supposed to be in there I'm supposed to be

00:26:04.220 --> 00:26:07.420
doing something Maybe I just found out that that's

00:26:07.420 --> 00:26:09.660
what I'm supposed to be doing at 60 because ever

00:26:09.660 --> 00:26:12.519
since I hit 60 Everything's changed. My whole

00:26:12.519 --> 00:26:14.839
demeanor has changed not just about God just

00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:19.119
about life feel like I've got something to do.

00:26:19.140 --> 00:26:21.339
I don't know what that is. I ask them all the

00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:23.079
time, like, okay, what am I supposed to be doing?

00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:25.440
So I'm going to make a recommendation for you

00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:28.740
on that one. In my experience, how that works

00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:33.420
is we need to figure it out ourselves and then

00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:37.420
go to him and say, is this the right thing? Or

00:26:37.420 --> 00:26:40.599
is this the wrong thing? I tend to get more answers

00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:44.920
that way than just an open book like Give me

00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:47.059
three paragraphs on what I'm supposed to be doing

00:26:47.059 --> 00:26:50.940
now. Some of us aren't very good at receiving

00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:54.259
that kind of inspiration. Well, you know, I think

00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:57.740
that the story itself, it was hard to tell the

00:26:57.740 --> 00:27:00.440
story because it's not a feel good story and

00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.019
not by a lunch shot. It's a memoir, but I changed

00:27:04.019 --> 00:27:07.180
a few things. I changed the timelines around

00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.059
a little bit so it couldn't be like a memoir,

00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:12.759
but 98 % of the things that I wrote about happened

00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:17.200
to me. The story and the things that are shaping

00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:21.940
in my life, if I was to say how close am I got

00:27:21.940 --> 00:27:25.599
to my mission, I'd say I'm pretty close to what

00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:28.559
I'm supposed to be doing. It just probably took

00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:31.920
me a really long time to just get here, or 60

00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:34.940
was the magic number. I don't know, but - Story's

00:27:34.940 --> 00:27:38.259
still being written, sounds like. You've looked

00:27:38.259 --> 00:27:41.680
and done a little studying about NDEs with other

00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:45.599
people. Give me an idea of what you take away

00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:49.519
from that. Because if there's not a lot that

00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.039
you were able to get from yours, maybe you can

00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:54.359
pick up some things from other people's NDE's

00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:56.900
that apply to you. What do you think those might

00:27:56.900 --> 00:28:00.599
be? I would say one of the main things is their

00:28:00.599 --> 00:28:04.420
experiences that they have that are, I don't

00:28:04.420 --> 00:28:07.400
know what the word is, but I don't want to say

00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:09.960
irregular, sort of irregular. I don't want to

00:28:09.960 --> 00:28:13.160
say extraordinary, but I think it can fall into

00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:16.859
those areas. People come back with a, from what

00:28:16.859 --> 00:28:20.279
I've seen, I don't know other people's, but it

00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:23.660
seems that they come back with a clary that they

00:28:23.660 --> 00:28:26.140
maybe didn't have before and understanding about

00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:28.559
things and how things work here that they didn't

00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:31.720
have before. Spiritual circles, I thought for

00:28:31.720 --> 00:28:34.619
a long time didn't involve God, but they always

00:28:34.619 --> 00:28:38.940
did. So my takeaway is these people now have,

00:28:39.559 --> 00:28:43.009
they have an extraordinary chapter to their life

00:28:43.009 --> 00:28:46.769
and how they use it is really up to them because

00:28:46.769 --> 00:28:50.450
we're still all free will. I used my time, whatever

00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:52.869
I did with my life, it took me a really long

00:28:52.869 --> 00:28:57.950
time to find spirituality and try to use what

00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:00.990
I had positively. There's a lot of people who

00:29:00.990 --> 00:29:04.230
I think can go into the wrong direction, but

00:29:04.230 --> 00:29:07.089
it seems like a common thread. It seems like

00:29:07.089 --> 00:29:09.210
maybe you can tell me because you talk to a lot

00:29:09.210 --> 00:29:12.799
of people. NDE people don't typically take what

00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:15.460
they have now that they didn't have before and

00:29:15.460 --> 00:29:17.839
go to a dark case with it. It seems like they

00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:21.119
always seem to stay in the light. Do you think

00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:23.160
that that is true? Yeah, for the most part, that

00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:26.559
is really true. And I think part of why people

00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:29.259
like to listen to these stories and why I like

00:29:29.259 --> 00:29:33.380
to listen to them is because even if I don't

00:29:33.380 --> 00:29:36.180
have an NDE, I can learn from some of the things

00:29:36.180 --> 00:29:39.420
that you and other people learn from your NDE's.

00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:43.859
I can learn about love. I can learn about what

00:29:43.859 --> 00:29:47.680
people call the love of God. I can gain strength

00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:51.059
in the fact that people who have had NDEs have

00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:55.160
no fear of death anymore. Why is that? Why should

00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:58.299
I fear death? If someone who has died and come

00:29:58.299 --> 00:30:01.440
back has no fear of death, then I don't need

00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:06.440
to have fear of death either. Right. You don't?

00:30:07.319 --> 00:30:10.789
No. I'm ready. I'm ready whenever he's ready

00:30:10.789 --> 00:30:13.890
to call me, you know, call me home, but I have

00:30:13.890 --> 00:30:17.009
no fear of it. I don't go out and do things that

00:30:17.009 --> 00:30:19.829
are reckless, but I don't have, I don't fear.

00:30:20.230 --> 00:30:23.390
Not at all. Not even a little. What do you think

00:30:23.390 --> 00:30:26.549
it's going to be like when it finally is your

00:30:26.549 --> 00:30:29.789
turn in 30 years from now, when it's your turn

00:30:29.789 --> 00:30:33.690
40 years from now? I can't, I have to say that

00:30:33.690 --> 00:30:37.309
I think about this a lot. I think, I think about

00:30:37.309 --> 00:30:40.519
it a lot. I hear Andy's, okay. Howard's, Howard

00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:43.059
Storm. Can you, you know, hardly count that story

00:30:43.059 --> 00:30:46.680
about Howard Storm? He's been on the show. Yeah.

00:30:46.740 --> 00:30:49.259
Oh, he was one of the first NDE's and I was like,

00:30:49.900 --> 00:30:52.500
wow. You know, I really, I really never forgot

00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:55.599
his story. Obviously, you know, we, if everybody

00:30:55.599 --> 00:30:58.099
knows who Howard Storm is, you can kind of, you

00:30:58.099 --> 00:31:00.079
can kind of guess, you know, like, okay, well,

00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:02.339
that's why it happened that way because his life,

00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:05.059
the way his lifestyle is. Every single day I

00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:07.319
have the opportunity to wake up and do something

00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:10.799
and be the best person that I can be. But the

00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:13.480
world around us will always come crashing down

00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:15.940
going, no, you can't, no, you're not good enough.

00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:21.039
So I always think about how great it'll be just

00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:26.980
not happy to contend with the heaviness of the

00:31:26.980 --> 00:31:29.880
reality of being here on this planet. And all

00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:32.819
the and all the negativity that's here that we're

00:31:32.819 --> 00:31:34.960
we're all daily kind of trying to get through

00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.259
each day on our own Just staying positive, you

00:31:38.259 --> 00:31:39.680
know, just staying a positive friend of mine.

00:31:40.039 --> 00:31:42.180
It's not easy So, I don't know if that answers

00:31:42.180 --> 00:31:44.460
your question, but I I look forward to not having

00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:47.640
to do that anymore And of course, you know, honestly

00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:50.599
seeing my family And you're right and it is not

00:31:50.599 --> 00:31:54.220
easy It definitely isn't. We'll put a link in

00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:56.259
the show notes if people want to check out your

00:31:56.259 --> 00:31:58.859
books because you have the memoir that you mentioned

00:31:58.859 --> 00:32:02.839
and also a novel which I think looks really interesting.

00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:07.319
So people can look those up and I'll tell you

00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:11.019
what, you get to have the last word. Leave us

00:32:11.019 --> 00:32:14.440
with some kind of a message of hope in this troubled

00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:17.059
world that's gonna help us not only have hope

00:32:17.059 --> 00:32:20.480
but have a better day today. because they listened

00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:24.839
to Renee. Oh man. That's a lot of pressure. That's

00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:27.420
a ton of pressure. And I didn't warn you about

00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:30.059
that. You didn't. I don't have a canned response

00:32:30.059 --> 00:32:33.059
or nothing. What do I have to tell people today

00:32:33.059 --> 00:32:36.619
to stay positive? I would say that's the, if

00:32:36.619 --> 00:32:40.220
you can manage that on a daily basis, being kind

00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:44.200
and positive is, that's very challenging. It

00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:45.839
doesn't matter how nice you are. It doesn't matter

00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:47.990
what kind of person you are. You say as you get

00:32:47.990 --> 00:32:49.609
behind the wheel of a car, you could be the best

00:32:49.609 --> 00:32:54.049
person leaving the house and you just get in

00:32:54.049 --> 00:32:57.289
the car and it's game over. I'm speaking from

00:32:57.289 --> 00:33:02.410
me specifically because there's a lot of negative

00:33:02.410 --> 00:33:06.150
negativity around us all the time. Hang on to

00:33:06.150 --> 00:33:08.910
something that you can snap back to to bring

00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:12.150
yourself back around and not stay focused in

00:33:12.150 --> 00:33:15.210
the negative. Especially when you feel it coming

00:33:15.210 --> 00:33:19.000
out in yourself. Because we all have a little

00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:21.559
road rage under the surface here someplace when

00:33:21.559 --> 00:33:24.819
we're in the car You said that you recently started

00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:28.259
reading scripture What is standing out to you?

00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:30.640
What kinds of what kinds of things are really

00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:34.319
like Wow? I hope this doesn't I'm gonna say this

00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:36.779
is precursor I hope this isn't received negatively

00:33:36.779 --> 00:33:39.400
because there's a lot of controversy that I've

00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:43.900
read But when I ask God for help we can all say

00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:46.859
prayers and we can say it out loud So what I

00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:48.619
started doing, especially after finding that

00:33:48.619 --> 00:33:50.440
scripture, which I've memorized, like I told

00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:52.500
you before, I never memorized scripture. Well,

00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:54.700
I memorized that one. I'll never forget that

00:33:54.700 --> 00:33:58.059
one. John 1 -1, I'll never forget now. Yeah.

00:33:58.700 --> 00:34:01.619
And so what I started doing right after that

00:34:01.619 --> 00:34:04.940
happened was, so I used to do, like I was telling

00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:07.660
you in paranormal stuff, I used to do throw and

00:34:07.660 --> 00:34:09.880
I used to do divination and stuff like that.

00:34:10.090 --> 00:34:13.750
I never did it for a futuristic result because

00:34:13.750 --> 00:34:16.250
I feel like we're all free will and that's always

00:34:16.250 --> 00:34:18.750
been my basis. It's like, it's more of a guidance

00:34:18.750 --> 00:34:22.110
that I'm looking for and that's it. So I threw

00:34:22.110 --> 00:34:24.590
all of that stuff away. I don't have any of those

00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:26.809
things anymore. I will never buy any of those

00:34:26.809 --> 00:34:31.030
things. So I had a Bible that I bought for myself

00:34:31.030 --> 00:34:33.050
years ago that I just never picked up and it's

00:34:33.050 --> 00:34:35.210
just been sitting on my nightstand and just never

00:34:35.210 --> 00:34:38.070
being touched, just dusty. So I started asking

00:34:38.070 --> 00:34:41.940
questions To God and even asked a question to

00:34:41.940 --> 00:34:44.840
God like is it okay for me to use? This book

00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:48.559
this way to get some some answers about some

00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:51.179
of the directions that I'm I'm in and go and

00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:54.219
I want to I want to navigate Everything has been

00:34:54.219 --> 00:34:57.179
spot -on. I mean it is it's literally kind of

00:34:57.179 --> 00:35:01.519
freaky how exact The scripture I happen just

00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:04.659
open the book and look to the page and look to

00:35:04.659 --> 00:35:08.440
the scripture and it It's explaining my question

00:35:08.590 --> 00:35:12.409
perfectly. So it's been it's helping me get acquainted

00:35:12.409 --> 00:35:14.230
with the stories because when I first started

00:35:14.230 --> 00:35:16.690
reading the Bible I started at Genesis and I'm

00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:19.829
like I'm asleep before I get you know past it.

00:35:20.030 --> 00:35:22.150
The book is I don't think this book is this but

00:35:22.150 --> 00:35:25.730
the Bible is designed to be a read book. There's

00:35:25.730 --> 00:35:30.110
information in the book that we reflect on and

00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:32.869
interpretate right. We are interpreting what

00:35:32.869 --> 00:35:35.829
the scriptures are saying and I think that there's

00:35:35.829 --> 00:35:39.139
a lot more to the Bible Than people think and

00:35:39.139 --> 00:35:43.000
so i've been very excited every night i'm excited

00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:46.320
to go and pick it up And be closer to god and

00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:48.659
it and it has a whole different meaning now for

00:35:48.659 --> 00:35:51.940
me I really appreciate you sharing all this renee

00:35:51.940 --> 00:35:54.360
and we're all on this journey. We're all trying

00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:56.860
to learn from each other Trying to learn from

00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:59.460
scripture trying to learn from other sources

00:35:59.460 --> 00:36:03.940
So, you know What we can be better people now.

00:36:03.940 --> 00:36:07.219
We can be better prepared for the future Absolutely

00:36:07.449 --> 00:36:09.630
That's all we can do. Wake up today, start again,

00:36:09.969 --> 00:36:12.969
right? Thanks again for listening and sharing

00:36:12.969 --> 00:36:15.269
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow

00:36:15.269 --> 00:36:18.150
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter

00:36:18.150 --> 00:36:20.989
at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share

00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:23.750
your near -death experience or if you have questions

00:36:23.750 --> 00:36:26.469
or comments about the show, send an email to

00:36:26.469 --> 00:36:29.929
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish

00:36:29.929 --> 00:36:31.809
you everything good that you're looking for in

00:36:31.809 --> 00:36:33.489
this life and the next.