NDEs: More Questions Than Answers

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From the time that they pronounced me dead was

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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart. My heart had stopped and

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I could see people screaming and crying but I

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didn't realize that was actually my physical

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body because I was somewhere else. The only thing

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that I could feel if you could imagine absolute

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love and peace there wasn't anything else to

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be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in

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the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe

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and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip

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Death, everybody. We've got a great guest today,

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Darnella Ford. Welcome to the show. Thank you

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so much, Jared. Thank you so much for having

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me. I love the podcast. I enjoy it. I'm so honored

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to be here with you and hopefully to inspire

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and encourage and uplift some of your viewers

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that may pass this way. Well, I appreciate you

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reaching out to the show. Before we jump into

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your experience, and by the way, we're going

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to be all over the place today. And frankly,

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we're going to be talking less about specific

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near -death experiences and more about the questions

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that they bring up, what we learn from them.

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But before we jump into it, Darnella. Tell us

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a little bit about you so we can get to know

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you first. Oh, thank you so much. Well, my name

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is Darnella. I think I've lived a pretty unique

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life and my humble experience. I came here. I

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feel like I was wired seeking God. I always looked

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up into the cosmos and the heavens when I was

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a young kid, and I always wondered, who is God?

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Where is God? What is God? What is this? What

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is this life about? And I remember I was this

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incessant question asker, incessant. So when

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we would go to family holidays and we'd go to

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a friend's house, my mother and my grandmother

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would always say to me, you always get the instructions

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before you arrive. Don't run through these people's

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house. Don't tear up these people's furniture.

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Don't do this. Don't do that. Mine was always

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the same. My mother had five girls. My instruction

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was always the same for my mother and my grandmother.

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They would look at me and they'd point and say,

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Don't you ask these people $100 ,000 worth of

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questions because that's my personality. I always

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wanted to know why and why and why and why. Case

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in point, when I was seven years old, my mother

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had one of her cousins over and I guess she was

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going through a divorce and she was very sad.

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And of course I was behind the curtain, my grandmother's

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house, peeking, looking, looking through the

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curtain. When my grandmother and my mother went

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to get this woman some glass of lemonade, I went

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into the room at seven and I sat across from

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her. This stands out to me, which is why I'm

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telling the story. I sat and I looked at this

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woman and I said, I felt like something was off

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in her story. And I said, why do you really think

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he left you? That was the question I asked at

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seven years old, this grown woman. Well, the

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next thing I knew, I was getting a lot of trouble

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from my grandmother. That... sets the template

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for my life. I always look at people. I've examined

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people. I study people. Ultimately, I became

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a journalist. I worked as a journalist for a

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number of years. I ultimately became a writer.

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I published books. I traveled. I did book signings.

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I did all the things. And then in 2006, my life

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changed on the edge of a traumatic breakup. I

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believe that one of the great curriculums of

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my life was exploring myself through relationships.

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I had many relationships with men and they always

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ended up the same. Them gone and me with a broken

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heart. And this was like the mother of relationships.

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And when this man left to go move to Hollywood

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to be an actor and a model, we only live 15 minutes

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from Hollywood by the way, but he left to do

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that. I really wanted to understand How can I

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change my life? How can I change my pattern?

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How can I really pull myself up out of the ditch

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of common human existence? Prior to that time,

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I had struggled all of my life with depression,

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anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder. I had

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really struggled for balance and equilibrium.

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So that thrust me into a study. I ended up in

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Washington State. From there, I started studying

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quantum physics and neuroscience. Ultimately,

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I would come to teach that. It was an evolution

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and a development, and I became a spiritual guide

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and a teacher and a facilitator, which is what

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I do to this day. So that's a long story short.

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That's fantastic. I can certainly relate to the

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whole asking questions about everything. That's

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why I'm on this side of the table, and today

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I get to ask you the questions. I love it. I

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love it. Here's what I think we're going to do.

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I think we're going to start with the heavy stuff.

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Okay. Which is we're going to talk about the

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death of your best friend a few years ago. Yes.

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And then we're going to talk about all the questions.

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So would you mind telling us that story? What

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happened? And let me ask a few questions as we

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go. Yes, thank you. My very best friend, I met

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her when I was in the heyday of my wanting to

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get a book deal. And I saw her in the New York

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Times. She had a full -page ad. Her book had

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been released, and she was doing very well with

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her book. And I saw her. And I was just in awe

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of this Black woman who was in the New York Times.

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And I reached out to her by way of email just

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because I was on the path of wanting to becoming

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a published author in the way that she was. And

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she reached back to me. From there, we developed

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a very profound relationship. She ultimately

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became my very best friend. I met her in Chicago

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at a writer's conference. She lived in Jersey.

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I lived in LA. We met. From there, we became

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literally inseparable. Well, she was diagnosed

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about 10 years after I met her with lupus. And

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she had a more severe form of lupus that attacks

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the organs at a much deeper level. So all to

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say in 2012, she made her transition. She left

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the physical body February 23rd, 2012. I've had

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many experiences that changed my life that led

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up to that moment, but I want to insert this

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here. In 2006, once I began studying quantum

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physics and neuroscience, I began to have what

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would be considered spontaneous out of body experiences.

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So my consciousness would detach from my physical

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form. And I began to experience things that people

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might experience in a near death experience.

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and or in an afterlife environment. So I want

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to say that. I also want to say this is very,

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very important for me to say this. I am not here

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to convince or convert anyone. I'm not here to

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say that what Darnella is saying is the truth

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or even a truth. But I will say this is my truth

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from my lived experiences. So I want the viewers

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to remember that when they're hearing me, I am

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not pushing anything on anyone. and would ask

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people if they could keep an open mind that if

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there is one thing that you hear that serves

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your life and makes your time here on earth just

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one degree better to be open to that. So I wanted

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to say that. So my friend transitioned, but I

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will say something. When I started having the

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out -of -body experiences, something started

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happening in my brain. I started receiving precognitive

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premonitions. I started knowing things that there

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would be no way in the body that I could know.

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And it wasn't because I was just seeing these

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things once I left my body, but my brain and

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my abilities, my natural, I believe we all have

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precognition. I believe everyone has gifts. These

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are spiritual gifts. My gifts started coming

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online. They started becoming activated. So I

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was in a sandwich shop and I received a precognitive

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hit. that my best friend was going to transition.

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It almost, it was a whisper. Whenever something

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has come to me, it's not been loud and glaring

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and glaring. It is a whisper. And it was so gentle,

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but it was so deep in the knowing. I ran to my

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car. I sat in my car and I picked up my phone

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as quickly as I could and I phoned her. I was

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so overcome with emotion. I remember the day

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she answered the phone. She always said, hey,

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D -Love. She called me D -Love. Darnella, you

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know, she called me Dee. Hey, Dee love. And when

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she answered the phone, I couldn't speak. I was

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weeping so deeply into the phone. She was also

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very intuitive and she knew and she stopped and

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she was very quiet and there was silence on both

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sides of the phone. And she said, so this is

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how I'm going to go out. I didn't say anything.

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She didn't say anything. And then my voice emerged

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through my tears and I said, I have begged, I

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have begged, I have begged for your life, but

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it is not mine to beg for. She said nothing.

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Nothing else was said. About 30 days later, she

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got up to go to the bathroom, collapsed on the

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floor, never gained consciousness again. Interestingly,

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again, precognition, I spoke to her at 10 o 'clock

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that night. When we got off the phone, I sent

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a text message and I still have the phone here,

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2012, that was many cell phones ago. I still

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have the phone with our text thread on it. The

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last words I said to her was, keep breathing.

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I love you. Interesting, right? Interesting,

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why would I send that to her? Why would I send

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keep breathing? I never said that to her. She

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replied, I love you. She didn't say anything

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to the keep breathing. Five hours later, she

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dropped it in her bathroom, literally. So she

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came to me, I experienced her in my room. My

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phone rang at three in the morning and it was

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from her phone, but I knew it wasn't her. I knew

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it was not her. It was her sister -in -law telling

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me that she was on life support. and that they

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were trying to resuscitate and revive and that

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she was on life support. But she came into my

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room. I could feel her on my right side because

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the energy in the room changed. I'm very sensitive

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to energy and it was very peaceful. It was very,

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very peaceful. When she entered my room, she

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was supporting me. She was holding me up emotionally

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because I was getting the news. And all of a

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sudden I felt overcome by peace. I felt a strength

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that was not my own. Her sister -in -law said

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they're trying to figure out what level of brain

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damage or how much brain activity she has left.

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She is on life support. And I knew then she's

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not coming back. I knew it because she was already

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out of the body. She wasn't even there. And I

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just said, okay, but I knew she wasn't in the

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body anymore. And that was actually February

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22nd. They called time of death, February 23rd.

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In my heart, I feel like she died February 22nd

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because she left the body immediately. She was

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no longer there. The vessel was shutting down.

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She was already gone, but her death certificate

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reflects and her obituary reflected February

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23rd, but she actually transitioned February

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22nd. Something the doctors don't understand,

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though. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. When she

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left, I struggled, even with all that I know

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and with all of my access into other realms and

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experiences, which are beautiful. I've had beautiful

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experiences. I do not subscribe to that, you

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know, this is demonic or I'm channeling demons.

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I like to put that out there because sometimes

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people will feel that and they will feel inspired

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to put that in the comment. I am an ambassador

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for light and love, period. So I wanted to clarify

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and just say that as well. She came to me about

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a month after she transitioned, because I was

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just struggling. I was having a really hard time.

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And I would cry myself to sleep every night,

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just sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. And one

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night she walked right through the wall as I

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was falling asleep. I looked in my bedroom and

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she just walked in. I mean, radiant and glorious

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and healthy and whole and beautiful. And she

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echoed this power. She was so powerful. And she

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looked at me. She communicated to me telepathic.

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She used her mental energy and inserted it into

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my brain. The words went right into my brain.

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No lips were moving, but I understood every word

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with crystal clarity because it was a frequency.

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It was an energy of communication. And she said,

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stop crying for me. Stop crying. And then I felt,

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interestingly, this interesting flush of embarrassment.

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I was so embarrassed. She said, stop crying for

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me. She said, I'm happy in my real home. And

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she turned around and walked straight through

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the wall. And I was just sitting there like,

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instantly I stopped crying. And I was embarrassed

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because it would suggest, If she stated that,

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that she was watching me cry, she's seen me cry,

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she's watching me cry, she's watching me grieve,

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she's seeing what I'm going through. And she's

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like, stop it. Just, I mean, almost like put

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her foot down, like stop it. And honestly, it

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was effective because I don't think I cried for

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another couple of weeks. Now, eventually I started

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back crying. I'm gonna tell you why I started

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back crying. One night I was in my room, five,

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it's so much happens in my bedroom, five in the

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morning, or four in the morning, I sit up and

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I look in the corner and I see a man who looks

00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:20.159
like a wizard. Imagine a wizard from Harry Potter.

00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:22.899
Okay, there was a man in my room. He looked like

00:14:22.899 --> 00:14:26.000
a wizard. He had a beard and he had like a hat

00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:29.480
on and he had his robe and I was like, wow, who

00:14:29.480 --> 00:14:32.340
is this man? I didn't want him in my room. I

00:14:32.340 --> 00:14:34.259
didn't know who he was. It was a bit overwhelming

00:14:34.259 --> 00:14:37.500
to be able to perceive him. When I travel out

00:14:37.500 --> 00:14:40.399
of body, I can move energy. I'm very powerful

00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:43.759
when I'm out of my body, and I can do this with

00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:46.940
my hands, I will do this. If I am experiencing

00:14:46.940 --> 00:14:49.240
something that I do not want in my way, it basically,

00:14:49.259 --> 00:14:52.659
I can move energy. I can move things out of my

00:14:52.659 --> 00:14:55.799
way, and I can do this, and the energy just shoots

00:14:55.799 --> 00:14:58.259
from my fingers, and it'll just open, like, park

00:14:58.259 --> 00:15:01.240
the way for me. And I knew I could do that. So

00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:03.679
when I saw him there, I thought, well, I'm going

00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:05.740
to use my technique I use when I'm out of body.

00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:10.720
And I did this. I just... I threw a little energy

00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:13.720
to the wizard. I called him the wizard. And he

00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:16.980
didn't move. And I thought, the wizard did not

00:15:16.980 --> 00:15:18.980
move. I said, wait, let me try it again. I said,

00:15:19.659 --> 00:15:22.259
I did energy and he just stood there. And I thought,

00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:25.980
and I knew instantly why he didn't move. He was

00:15:25.980 --> 00:15:27.559
more powerful than me. That's why I couldn't

00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:31.080
move him. Much higher being than me. All I thought,

00:15:31.100 --> 00:15:32.960
that bumble was, oh Lord, I hope I didn't offend

00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.139
the wizard. Cause I can't get him out of my room.

00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:36.419
When he's teased, I'm trying to get him out.

00:15:36.779 --> 00:15:39.649
He opened up his robe. He took a spinning globe,

00:15:40.029 --> 00:15:42.269
one of the most beautiful things I had ever witnessed.

00:15:42.769 --> 00:15:45.490
It was a spinning globe. And it was this beautiful

00:15:45.490 --> 00:15:48.649
combination of lavender, purple, interestingly

00:15:48.649 --> 00:15:50.450
her favorite color, my best friend's favorite

00:15:50.450 --> 00:15:54.970
color was purple, magenta. It was soft pink pastel.

00:15:55.070 --> 00:15:57.750
It was so beautiful. And when I saw it, it instantly

00:15:57.750 --> 00:16:01.389
put me into a trance. And he took the globe and

00:16:01.389 --> 00:16:04.409
he tossed it to me. And when he did, I reached

00:16:04.409 --> 00:16:07.700
out like, I had to connect to the beauty of what

00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:11.100
I was seeing. The moment I put my hand, like

00:16:11.100 --> 00:16:12.960
imagine a ball, somebody throws you a basketball.

00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:17.299
The moment I put my hands on it, I was pulled

00:16:17.299 --> 00:16:22.320
out of my body and pulled into the dimension

00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:25.240
where my best friend was. She literally pulled

00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:27.759
me by the hands, pulled me out of my body. And

00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:33.019
when I saw her, Eric, I literally felt, oh my

00:16:33.019 --> 00:16:35.990
God. She's right in front of me. She's right

00:16:35.990 --> 00:16:38.190
here. I couldn't believe it. I was overwhelmed.

00:16:38.490 --> 00:16:42.230
And in that moment, I flashed all the tears,

00:16:42.350 --> 00:16:45.230
all the crying, all the heartache, all the devastation.

00:16:45.230 --> 00:16:50.309
And in that moment, I said, I beat you death.

00:16:51.129 --> 00:16:56.610
I beat you. I felt like that I had transcended

00:16:56.610 --> 00:16:59.730
beyond death for a blink of an eye. We were holding

00:16:59.730 --> 00:17:01.850
hands and we were spinning around like little

00:17:01.850 --> 00:17:06.119
kids. And I went to say, oh my God, I said, man,

00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:09.599
where have you been? I said, where have you been?

00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:13.359
I said, I went to say, I miss you. But you know

00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:15.859
what happened? The most profound thing happened.

00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:19.180
I was blocked from the thought. I couldn't even

00:17:19.180 --> 00:17:21.299
articulate the words. I couldn't even articulate

00:17:21.299 --> 00:17:23.519
the thought, I miss you. And I'm gonna ask you,

00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:26.200
Eric, why do you think I couldn't articulate

00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:29.420
the thought, I miss you? Why was I not allowed

00:17:29.420 --> 00:17:32.069
to communicate, I miss you to her? I'm going

00:17:32.069 --> 00:17:35.009
to have to venture a guess here. And my guess

00:17:35.009 --> 00:17:38.029
is that is not really an emotion that we feel

00:17:38.029 --> 00:17:40.710
when we're on the other side. That's so good.

00:17:40.730 --> 00:17:42.950
That's a beautiful guess. And you're exactly

00:17:42.950 --> 00:17:47.049
right. Because where she was, there was no such

00:17:47.049 --> 00:17:50.630
thing. It didn't exist. And I was not even permitted

00:17:50.630 --> 00:17:54.509
to think it because it wasn't true. The only

00:17:54.509 --> 00:17:57.730
thing that I could say to her was, I love you.

00:17:58.509 --> 00:18:01.210
because love is the only real truth that there

00:18:01.210 --> 00:18:04.910
is. So all of the things that we say here in

00:18:04.910 --> 00:18:08.269
the earth realm, all of the words that come out

00:18:08.269 --> 00:18:11.269
of our mouth, so much of it is driven by ego

00:18:11.269 --> 00:18:14.250
and personality. And that's why sometimes we

00:18:14.250 --> 00:18:18.289
say unkind things and experiences that we have

00:18:18.289 --> 00:18:21.130
and judgment and condemnation and things that

00:18:21.130 --> 00:18:23.710
we say, there is a realm where none of that exists

00:18:23.710 --> 00:18:27.069
and only high vibration. She was in a very high

00:18:27.069 --> 00:18:29.890
vibration realm where it really was harmony.

00:18:30.410 --> 00:18:33.349
It was harmonious. So love was the greatest harmony.

00:18:33.730 --> 00:18:35.970
In that moment, I thought maybe I want to stay

00:18:35.970 --> 00:18:37.509
here because it looked like a garden. It looked

00:18:37.509 --> 00:18:40.529
like I was in a most beautiful garden. It looked

00:18:40.529 --> 00:18:43.329
like, imagine if you were in Greece. You had

00:18:43.329 --> 00:18:46.549
these incredible structures, it's ancient world,

00:18:47.069 --> 00:18:50.670
a courtyard with all these beautiful living vines

00:18:50.670 --> 00:18:54.210
and oh, it just pillars, these enormous pillars

00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:57.809
and the peace and the birds and the way the light

00:18:57.809 --> 00:19:00.670
illuminated the plane and everything was alive.

00:19:00.970 --> 00:19:03.529
And it was almost like it wasn't air, but whatever

00:19:03.529 --> 00:19:07.369
it was, it was so clean and it was so, you could

00:19:07.369 --> 00:19:11.460
just be in that realm and just. Exhale and transcend

00:19:11.460 --> 00:19:14.859
the human drama, the human story, the weight

00:19:14.859 --> 00:19:17.180
of being human. And in that moment, I experienced

00:19:17.180 --> 00:19:20.200
that and that's where she was. And I thought

00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:22.519
to myself, well, I like it here. I'm thinking

00:19:22.519 --> 00:19:25.619
I might want to stay. And the moment I thought

00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:29.339
that, immediately back in the body, it's like,

00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:33.720
oh, no, no, not your time. Not your stage right

00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:36.579
now. Your stage is earth. Boom, back in the body.

00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:42.829
I sit up in the bed. And I just burst into uncontrollable

00:19:42.829 --> 00:19:47.369
sobs. Uncontrollable sobs. But you know, I said

00:19:47.369 --> 00:19:50.990
when that moment happened, Eric, I said, I will

00:19:50.990 --> 00:19:53.950
tell this story to anybody that will listen to

00:19:53.950 --> 00:19:56.309
me to the day I leave this planet. I will tell

00:19:56.309 --> 00:19:58.390
that story and retell that story and retell that

00:19:58.390 --> 00:20:01.329
story. Because in that moment, it was confirmation

00:20:01.329 --> 00:20:04.069
to me, even though I had confirmation many times

00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:08.819
before that our loved ones are well. They go

00:20:08.819 --> 00:20:13.099
on, they're supported, they are elevated, they

00:20:13.099 --> 00:20:18.259
are in love, they are embraced. And that was

00:20:18.259 --> 00:20:22.859
a beautiful, beautiful demonstration of truth

00:20:22.859 --> 00:20:25.180
for me. And again, I'm not saying this is somebody

00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.980
else's truth, but some people experience hellish

00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:31.039
realms. But I have also learned through my 20

00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:34.299
years of research, I am a scientist in essence,

00:20:34.339 --> 00:20:38.240
I am a researcher, I am an explorer. of consciousness.

00:20:38.740 --> 00:20:41.460
The final frontier is the exploration of consciousness.

00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:44.799
It absolutely is. That is the far reaches of

00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:48.059
humanity's. It's the segue between the flesh

00:20:48.059 --> 00:20:50.779
and the spirit. The breath is the intersection

00:20:50.779 --> 00:20:54.140
between birth and death. Notice I don't say life

00:20:54.140 --> 00:20:56.940
and death because life has no opposite. It's

00:20:56.940 --> 00:20:59.559
birth and death. That's a part of this realm.

00:20:59.940 --> 00:21:03.240
But life is a continuum and science has proven

00:21:03.240 --> 00:21:07.329
now consciousness goes on. Darnella, thank you.

00:21:07.369 --> 00:21:09.809
I appreciate you sharing all of that. Let's go

00:21:09.809 --> 00:21:11.750
back. I want to talk about some of these emotions

00:21:11.750 --> 00:21:14.470
because I have some theories on some of this.

00:21:15.049 --> 00:21:18.609
This emotion of you not being able to say that

00:21:18.609 --> 00:21:21.930
you have missed her. Let's dig just a little

00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:24.410
bit into that because why do you think that is

00:21:24.410 --> 00:21:26.849
that you couldn't say that? Because it was not

00:21:26.849 --> 00:21:29.150
true in that realm because she was in a realm

00:21:29.150 --> 00:21:32.289
where I believe so much of our experience and

00:21:32.289 --> 00:21:37.309
the human experience is programming and personality,

00:21:37.730 --> 00:21:40.170
right? But how much are we actually living in

00:21:40.170 --> 00:21:43.970
absolute truth? A few weeks ago we received our

00:21:43.970 --> 00:21:46.769
brand new birch mattress and since then have

00:21:46.769 --> 00:21:50.630
gotten literally the best night's sleep ever.

00:21:51.170 --> 00:21:53.670
The biggest reason for choosing birch was because

00:21:53.670 --> 00:21:57.230
it's made from all natural materials like organic

00:21:57.230 --> 00:22:00.430
wool, organic fair trade cotton, and natural

00:22:00.430 --> 00:22:04.420
latex from rubber tree plants. It's healthy and

00:22:04.420 --> 00:22:07.539
has zero off -gassing. But I'll admit with all

00:22:07.539 --> 00:22:10.359
that healthy stuff I was a little concerned that

00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:14.000
maybe we'd be compromising on comfort. Our first

00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.140
night we absolutely loved it. Now that we've

00:22:17.140 --> 00:22:20.680
slept on it for over 75 nights we love it even

00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:24.859
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00:22:24.859 --> 00:22:28.630
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00:22:28.630 --> 00:22:31.650
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00:22:31.650 --> 00:22:35.349
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00:22:35.349 --> 00:22:38.269
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00:23:07.980 --> 00:23:12.119
missing someone is a very human experience but

00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:14.720
in that realm where she was she had an understanding

00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:17.369
that all things are connected. and that she didn't

00:23:17.369 --> 00:23:19.210
go anywhere and that she's still right here.

00:23:19.450 --> 00:23:21.529
So in that understanding in her realm, what would

00:23:21.529 --> 00:23:24.730
there be to miss? There would be nothing to miss.

00:23:25.549 --> 00:23:28.289
I think that's a good way to put it. Let me speculate

00:23:28.289 --> 00:23:32.130
a little bit more on that. Pure love, kind of

00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:35.490
love that people feel that they tell me about

00:23:35.490 --> 00:23:38.549
every day that they felt when they went on their

00:23:38.549 --> 00:23:41.730
journey to the other side and came back. It's

00:23:41.730 --> 00:23:44.250
so pure that there aren't negative things such

00:23:44.250 --> 00:23:47.660
as guilt. And I think this emotion of missing

00:23:47.660 --> 00:23:50.220
someone, while it sounds very positive here,

00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.640
it means there's something lacking, right? And

00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:57.700
so maybe it doesn't exist in the same place with

00:23:57.700 --> 00:24:01.079
perfect love. Also, if we're thinking about time

00:24:01.079 --> 00:24:05.279
and space, and you described it as another realm

00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:08.299
or dimension, other people would call it heaven

00:24:08.299 --> 00:24:11.859
or spirit world or something like that, and I'm

00:24:11.859 --> 00:24:15.620
not here to try to define it for anybody. But

00:24:15.620 --> 00:24:19.740
I believe that the people that are there in spirit

00:24:19.740 --> 00:24:24.640
form, because it's so easy for them to see and

00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:27.660
feel what's happening here, that it's not like

00:24:27.660 --> 00:24:30.700
they're really apart from us. Now it is for us

00:24:30.700 --> 00:24:33.700
because most of us can't see them, right? And

00:24:33.700 --> 00:24:36.440
can't see them very often. Even you with your

00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:39.559
friend. don't see her every single day, right?

00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:42.420
So for us, it's like, oh, we're longing for that

00:24:42.420 --> 00:24:46.160
again. For them, maybe it's not the same. And

00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:49.880
maybe that's part of why it's so easy for people

00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:53.579
to stay there. Now, as you know, because you've

00:24:53.579 --> 00:24:56.180
studied, a lot of people with near -death experiences

00:24:56.180 --> 00:24:59.519
are given an option. Do you want to go back or

00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:02.589
do you want to stay here? Well, The ones that

00:25:02.589 --> 00:25:05.450
report back to us are the ones that chose to

00:25:05.450 --> 00:25:08.410
come back here. We have no idea how many people

00:25:08.410 --> 00:25:12.789
made the other choice to stay there. It may be

00:25:12.789 --> 00:25:18.269
a much greater number, and I would totally understand.

00:25:18.769 --> 00:25:21.400
And that's okay. if they made that choice. That's

00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:24.180
great that they made that choice. We miss them,

00:25:24.180 --> 00:25:27.119
but for them that was a very natural thing to

00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:30.240
stay there. Absolutely. Okay, the other thing

00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:33.019
that I would like you to expound on just a little

00:25:33.019 --> 00:25:36.079
bit is you mentioned this beautiful place that

00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:38.940
you saw and witnessed. Can you give us a little

00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:44.119
bit more detail on where you felt that was and

00:25:44.119 --> 00:25:46.960
some of the things that you saw and felt and

00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:51.029
experienced? Thank you for asking. I don't, you

00:25:51.029 --> 00:25:53.549
know, there's so many infinite dimensions and

00:25:53.549 --> 00:25:55.529
even use the word places because I don't even

00:25:55.529 --> 00:25:59.200
know that it's a place. It was, I would say to

00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:01.119
the best of my knowledge and awareness, it was

00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:04.359
a higher realm. When I say a higher realm, it

00:26:04.359 --> 00:26:06.839
just simply referring to the energy. Everything

00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:10.240
was energy. So the energy oscillates at a faster

00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:13.380
frequency beyond the space -time continuum. There

00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:16.640
is no time there. So thought is instantaneous

00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:20.299
manifestation. It's not dense. It is not compressed

00:26:20.299 --> 00:26:23.519
into matter. We are energy compressed into matter.

00:26:23.539 --> 00:26:28.339
That is why we have form. It is more You can

00:26:28.339 --> 00:26:32.279
see a transparency of form or the soul can project

00:26:32.279 --> 00:26:35.460
what it looked like in the body. But in our truest

00:26:35.460 --> 00:26:38.079
space, from my understanding, we don't even have

00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:42.180
a real true form. We are pure light. We are light.

00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:46.059
We live at a place beyond, at the spark. The

00:26:46.059 --> 00:26:49.519
spirit is beyond form. I was in an environment

00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:51.869
that... Imagine if you were, again, if you were

00:26:51.869 --> 00:26:54.490
in Greece and you were on the side of the coast

00:26:54.490 --> 00:26:57.569
and you were by the water, but you could also

00:26:57.569 --> 00:26:59.809
look and see a garden, the most beautiful garden,

00:26:59.890 --> 00:27:02.569
the most, it was the most tender, the most tended

00:27:02.569 --> 00:27:05.009
to place. And then imagine you can look over

00:27:05.009 --> 00:27:08.049
here and you could see pillars and great buildings

00:27:08.049 --> 00:27:13.710
and coliseums and incredible structures rising

00:27:13.710 --> 00:27:16.630
upward. And then imagine you looking in the distance

00:27:16.630 --> 00:27:19.390
and you could see mountains. Not that it was

00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:22.289
sun, but it was light. It was light that was

00:27:22.289 --> 00:27:26.029
so pure that permeate a golden light, also sometimes

00:27:26.029 --> 00:27:28.710
a white light. There were many different colors.

00:27:28.789 --> 00:27:30.829
Imagine also, too, you can hear the sound of

00:27:30.829 --> 00:27:34.710
birds and water running. So it was everything

00:27:34.710 --> 00:27:37.710
in one. Sounds like a Garden of Eden kind of

00:27:37.710 --> 00:27:40.789
place. Sounds pretty wonderful. Yeah, you'd also

00:27:40.789 --> 00:27:43.829
mentioned in your email to me, you got to attend

00:27:43.829 --> 00:27:48.210
your own funeral. Okay, explain. And by the way,

00:27:48.349 --> 00:27:50.670
some people are going to go, you know, woo woo

00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:54.670
on some of this stuff, so. And you know, that's

00:27:54.670 --> 00:27:58.069
fine. I mean, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. I mean,

00:27:58.109 --> 00:28:00.549
I'm very well aware this is not everyday average

00:28:00.549 --> 00:28:03.190
conversation and I don't live an everyday average

00:28:03.190 --> 00:28:05.809
common life since all of this started by a long

00:28:05.809 --> 00:28:08.289
shot. And that's okay. I've accepted that. It

00:28:08.289 --> 00:28:09.789
has some wonderful things about it and it has

00:28:09.789 --> 00:28:14.549
some challenges about it. In 2006, I had an out

00:28:14.549 --> 00:28:17.109
-of -body experience where I was shown a split

00:28:17.109 --> 00:28:22.869
in my own reality. I was shown an illness that

00:28:22.869 --> 00:28:28.609
was developing in my body. In that space, I was

00:28:28.609 --> 00:28:31.609
given a healing, a tremendous healing physically

00:28:31.609 --> 00:28:34.210
in my body. I was on a timeline basically that

00:28:34.210 --> 00:28:36.500
was running out. And I know that gets more complicated

00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:38.279
into parallel realities and all of that, but

00:28:38.279 --> 00:28:40.420
I was running on a timeline that was actually

00:28:40.420 --> 00:28:43.039
running out. So I had about two years of earthly

00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:46.640
life left and I saw this. So when I came back

00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:51.259
into my body, it almost seemed bizarre. Interestingly,

00:28:51.700 --> 00:28:54.839
around that time, two really good friends called

00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:57.980
me out of the blue. One of my friends said, God,

00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:02.319
I had this dream and you looked really sick.

00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:05.279
My friend lived in Washington that I went to

00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.039
school with. Interestingly, another friend who

00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:10.700
lived here in Santa Monica said, I had a horrible

00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:14.720
dream that you died. Two friends around the same

00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.960
time, right? So how did that happen? Was that

00:29:17.960 --> 00:29:21.240
precognitive? Were they picking up something

00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:24.960
in my timeline? I'm not saying yes or no. I'm

00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.160
just presenting it as something for consideration

00:29:27.160 --> 00:29:29.960
because I find that incredibly synchronistic

00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:32.480
in that moment, especially given what happened.

00:29:32.980 --> 00:29:34.940
After that experience, when I would leave, when

00:29:34.940 --> 00:29:37.279
I would go to bed at night, I found myself going

00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:40.420
down almost looked like a hallway. And it looked

00:29:40.420 --> 00:29:43.400
like I was in a hospital. And I was traveling

00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:46.460
for days and days and days down the same hallway.

00:29:46.819 --> 00:29:48.559
And there was this bed at the end of the hallway

00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:51.299
and the curtain was drawn. Intuitively, I knew

00:29:51.299 --> 00:29:54.099
that I was behind that bed. And I never wanted

00:29:54.099 --> 00:29:56.140
to see behind the bed because I didn't want to

00:29:56.140 --> 00:29:59.480
see what I looked like in that vision. or out

00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:01.700
-of -body experience. It was not a vision. It

00:30:01.700 --> 00:30:04.299
was my consciousness moving into another realm

00:30:04.299 --> 00:30:07.299
that you would call or that I would call the

00:30:07.299 --> 00:30:11.779
future, two years advanced. So I was really uneasy

00:30:11.779 --> 00:30:15.039
about this and I was being drawn into the same

00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.839
hallway every night for days, days and nights,

00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:21.819
the same thing. And then finally, on the last

00:30:21.819 --> 00:30:23.920
day that I had this out -of -body experience,

00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:26.619
I got to the end of the hallway. and the curtain

00:30:26.619 --> 00:30:29.079
was open and the bed was empty. And I just thought,

00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:32.319
I remember thinking, oh my God, this is great.

00:30:32.339 --> 00:30:35.059
The bed's empty. Well, interestingly, the next

00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:38.099
night I ended up at the mortuary at my funeral.

00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:40.960
The bed was empty because I died. Then I ended

00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:44.539
up again at the funeral in another timeline.

00:30:44.779 --> 00:30:47.880
That was the timeline that I was on. I saw myself

00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:51.599
in the casket, very profound. My family was there

00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:53.859
grieving friends. Oh my God, she was so young.

00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:57.299
Oh my God. That was a very, how do you even,

00:30:57.819 --> 00:31:00.619
there's not a language that I can give to you

00:31:00.619 --> 00:31:02.799
around that experience, other than to say that

00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:06.519
after that experienced, I really began looking

00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:10.019
at my life, the quality of my life, and really

00:31:10.019 --> 00:31:13.660
began to channel my energy into what I really

00:31:13.660 --> 00:31:16.220
wanted my life to represent, what I wanted to

00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:18.740
give to the world, how I wanted to show up, how

00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:21.180
I wanted to be of service. And it really was

00:31:21.180 --> 00:31:25.000
a fast track. That experience fast -tracked my

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.559
stepping into my journey as a teacher and a facilitator

00:31:29.559 --> 00:31:33.599
and a guide and a healer. So that was an interesting

00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:36.839
journey for me and it changed my life. One other

00:31:36.839 --> 00:31:39.039
thing that you had sent me, and I don't know

00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:40.819
that I agree with this statement. That's why

00:31:40.819 --> 00:31:43.119
I want to talk about it. I'll be open -minded

00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:46.500
to it. Okay. You said that the death experience

00:31:46.500 --> 00:31:50.359
is a timed experience and is never an accident.

00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:53.990
Explain. I love that you asked me that. I welcome

00:31:53.990 --> 00:31:56.930
the challenge. I have a lot to say about it because

00:31:56.930 --> 00:31:59.509
I have had several friends who have transitioned.

00:31:59.569 --> 00:32:02.049
I have walked many of them through their transition.

00:32:03.230 --> 00:32:05.450
What I have been shown, what I have been taught.

00:32:05.930 --> 00:32:08.609
When you are born, even if you came here by way

00:32:08.609 --> 00:32:10.990
of an accident, an oopsie from your parents,

00:32:11.789 --> 00:32:16.230
because every soul agrees to come here from what

00:32:16.230 --> 00:32:18.690
I have been taught. Now I've been taught this.

00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:21.339
Who's teaching Darnella this? Is Darnella being

00:32:21.339 --> 00:32:24.079
deceived by demons on the other side? I have

00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:25.920
been taught this by the teachers that I have.

00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:29.000
I work with a team of beings on the other side.

00:32:29.539 --> 00:32:32.339
They are master teachers and they have informed

00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:34.160
a lot of my work and my deeper understanding

00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:36.920
about this life because everything is ordered,

00:32:37.420 --> 00:32:41.039
Eric. Everything is ordered. The universe beneath

00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:45.720
the seeming chaos of this is order. It is ordered.

00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:49.400
Everything is synchronistically timed and connected.

00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:52.039
And we don't see it from this realm because we

00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:55.259
only see this small amount. The indestructible

00:32:55.259 --> 00:32:57.460
essence of you, the spirit of you is never taken

00:32:57.460 --> 00:33:00.099
off guard, first and foremost, because it is

00:33:00.099 --> 00:33:03.859
not in time. It is out of time. You as the human

00:33:03.859 --> 00:33:06.980
are experiencing this life through a linear progression.

00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:09.779
First, second, third, before, during, after,

00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:13.339
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. But there is a higher

00:33:13.339 --> 00:33:17.220
aspect of each of us that sees beyond time. And

00:33:17.220 --> 00:33:19.920
it knows meticulously the exact moment that you're

00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:22.619
going to transition, however it is, accident,

00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:25.619
illness, or dying of natural causes or dropping

00:33:25.619 --> 00:33:28.599
dead from a heart attack. It's timed because

00:33:28.599 --> 00:33:32.160
the soul has exit points and we all have exit

00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.119
points because when a soul comes here to have

00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:35.900
a human incarnation, it knows it's going to be

00:33:35.900 --> 00:33:38.319
a temporary journey. We're all just visitors

00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:42.650
here, meaning everybody's going to die. So. If

00:33:42.650 --> 00:33:44.829
you understand the order of the universe and

00:33:44.829 --> 00:33:46.789
that everything is ordered, you'd understand

00:33:46.789 --> 00:33:50.869
nothing, no thing just happens without there

00:33:50.869 --> 00:33:54.289
being an order beneath it. Now, do we understand

00:33:54.289 --> 00:33:57.210
why a 13 -year -old would die or a 10 -year -old

00:33:57.210 --> 00:34:00.750
would die? In our human linear brain and processing,

00:34:01.150 --> 00:34:03.789
we cannot because in our world and our civilization,

00:34:04.269 --> 00:34:07.069
we look at longevity and the length of a life.

00:34:07.589 --> 00:34:11.400
But certain souls come here to experience experience

00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:13.760
definitively shorter lives for the purposes of

00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:16.219
what they're learning and especially for what

00:34:16.219 --> 00:34:18.559
they're going to teach their people, their family,

00:34:18.900 --> 00:34:21.719
their parents, their siblings. Nothing affects

00:34:21.719 --> 00:34:24.000
you more than the loss of a child, the loss of

00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:28.719
a sibling. So it is an orchestrated, profoundly

00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:33.940
timed, orchestrated event. Now, near -death experiencers,

00:34:34.119 --> 00:34:36.480
let's go there for a moment. Some of them are

00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:39.380
not given a choice. You must go back. I'm sure

00:34:39.380 --> 00:34:41.159
you've heard this many times, right? Talking

00:34:41.159 --> 00:34:43.460
to people saying, I was fighting for my right

00:34:43.460 --> 00:34:45.239
to stay there and they said, you must go back.

00:34:45.260 --> 00:34:47.579
Are you familiar with that, Eric? Oh, absolutely.

00:34:47.860 --> 00:34:51.239
But I will say when you dig deep into it, that

00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:54.280
is very unusual. That's something that is much

00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:57.619
more rare than people given a choice. Although

00:34:57.619 --> 00:35:00.420
something pretty common is, hey, you need to

00:35:00.420 --> 00:35:02.820
go back. Oh, I don't want to go back. Well, here's

00:35:02.820 --> 00:35:06.579
why you need to go back. OK, I'll go back. In

00:35:06.579 --> 00:35:09.099
my opinion, that they still have a choice in

00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:11.860
that one. But yes, there are some where it's

00:35:11.860 --> 00:35:14.340
just, you gotta go and they're back immediately.

00:35:15.059 --> 00:35:17.099
Yeah. I mean, I've been studying near -death

00:35:17.099 --> 00:35:19.920
experiences as well for 20 years. There's a mix

00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:23.260
of all of it. Some have choice points, some do

00:35:23.260 --> 00:35:25.519
not. And yes, you made a statement that we don't

00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:27.840
know how many said, I'm not coming back. But

00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:29.579
you have to understand again, all of this is

00:35:29.579 --> 00:35:31.519
ordered because what you're looking at is a soul.

00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:34.039
We all have a curriculum. Every one of us, none

00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:35.940
of us are just here. We all have a curriculum.

00:35:36.059 --> 00:35:38.739
Your curriculum is going to be the stage of your

00:35:38.739 --> 00:35:42.840
life, how you entered this dimension, your parents,

00:35:42.940 --> 00:35:45.559
your childhood, how you grew up, how you were

00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:48.079
conditioned, and specifically the challenges

00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:50.380
that you have that create the curriculum of your

00:35:50.380 --> 00:35:53.179
life. So the soul is utilizing this incredible

00:35:53.179 --> 00:35:57.059
experience, being human, utilizing a body, and

00:35:57.059 --> 00:35:59.500
being in the stage of life to learn, to develop,

00:35:59.539 --> 00:36:03.179
to grow. Not that the soul is not already into

00:36:03.179 --> 00:36:05.119
a perfect state unto itself, but it's actually

00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:07.880
going down into a dense matter. the dense plane

00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:09.719
of matter to do it, which is very different because

00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:12.760
things are very easy once you get into beyond

00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:16.019
this realm. They are easier. They are much easier.

00:36:16.019 --> 00:36:20.519
We're in a very dense, very heavy realm. So we

00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:23.340
come to flex our spiritual muscles and to see

00:36:23.340 --> 00:36:26.679
if we can. How can we be in this dimension? What

00:36:26.679 --> 00:36:30.599
can we how can we alchemize suffering? How can

00:36:30.599 --> 00:36:33.360
we transcend? How can we be resilient? What can

00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:36.880
we learn? How deep does the well? get within

00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:39.440
us as a result of the very challenging things

00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:43.019
that we have lived. So in my understanding, from

00:36:43.019 --> 00:36:45.480
being on the other side, from walking with several,

00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:47.900
several friends, I've had a lot of death in my

00:36:47.900 --> 00:36:51.460
own life. I understand that the time is perfect

00:36:51.460 --> 00:36:55.039
for your birth and the time is perfect for your

00:36:55.039 --> 00:36:57.780
death, no matter the age. And what you have to

00:36:57.780 --> 00:36:59.880
understand that the soul is eternal, immortal,

00:37:00.059 --> 00:37:02.679
indestructible. It is not obsessed with time

00:37:02.679 --> 00:37:05.010
the way human beings are. because it only knows

00:37:05.010 --> 00:37:08.590
itself as forever and ever endeavor. So whether

00:37:08.590 --> 00:37:11.809
you live 100 years or five years to the soul

00:37:11.809 --> 00:37:15.269
itself, it only knows itself as immortal. So

00:37:15.269 --> 00:37:17.730
it'll capture what it can in those five years.

00:37:18.050 --> 00:37:20.789
Maybe it only came to have five years of experience

00:37:20.789 --> 00:37:23.489
and made some very profound contracts with the

00:37:23.489 --> 00:37:25.289
parents and the siblings of all the people who

00:37:25.289 --> 00:37:27.449
will be infected by this child's transition.

00:37:27.550 --> 00:37:29.650
It will change the trajectory of the life of

00:37:29.650 --> 00:37:31.329
the parents. It will change the trajectory of

00:37:31.329 --> 00:37:33.780
the life of everyone who has loved this child.

00:37:34.179 --> 00:37:37.199
And some people will alchemize that into incredible

00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:40.139
experiences and do tremendous things for the

00:37:40.139 --> 00:37:42.519
world at large as a result of what they lived

00:37:42.519 --> 00:37:46.800
and lost as parents. I think part of why I struggled

00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:50.059
with that concept, and you make a very good point

00:37:50.059 --> 00:37:53.760
of it, is the fact that I'm a huge believer that

00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:59.889
one of the core principles the universe is agency

00:37:59.889 --> 00:38:02.750
and our ability to make choices for ourself.

00:38:02.809 --> 00:38:05.550
And it seems when things are predetermined that

00:38:05.550 --> 00:38:08.389
almost goes against that choice. Now based on

00:38:08.389 --> 00:38:11.889
what you've said, well maybe X amount of years

00:38:11.889 --> 00:38:15.510
ago, assuming time is even a thing in the eternities,

00:38:16.090 --> 00:38:18.989
we chose this is the time of our birth and this

00:38:18.989 --> 00:38:21.989
is the time of our death. That would be the same

00:38:21.989 --> 00:38:24.170
thing that you're talking about and would also

00:38:24.170 --> 00:38:28.550
fit in with my philosophy of agency. So anyway,

00:38:28.789 --> 00:38:30.750
I don't want to beat a dead horse there before

00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:33.429
we run out of time. I want to talk about what

00:38:33.429 --> 00:38:36.309
are some of the most important questions that

00:38:36.309 --> 00:38:39.050
to you come up from all of this? What are the

00:38:39.050 --> 00:38:42.750
deep things that we should be contemplating because

00:38:42.750 --> 00:38:45.210
of near death and some of these other spiritual

00:38:45.210 --> 00:38:47.969
experiences that we've been discussing? Well,

00:38:48.010 --> 00:38:49.750
I love, I want to go back to some of these things.

00:38:49.789 --> 00:38:51.449
I think it's really important the whole concept

00:38:51.449 --> 00:38:54.849
of agency. free will versus predestination. It's

00:38:54.849 --> 00:38:56.789
been an age old discussion. And I think there

00:38:56.789 --> 00:38:58.289
are some things that I have learned along the

00:38:58.289 --> 00:39:01.110
way that potentially would be helpful. Predestination

00:39:01.110 --> 00:39:04.409
is the stage of your life. It is where you're

00:39:04.409 --> 00:39:07.849
born. You had nothing to do with that. The personality,

00:39:08.650 --> 00:39:10.389
your parents are who they were, whether they

00:39:10.389 --> 00:39:12.389
were great or whether they were psychopaths.

00:39:12.429 --> 00:39:15.329
They were who they were, right? The stage of

00:39:15.329 --> 00:39:19.760
your life, you don't... have agency, meaning

00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:22.679
you didn't decide, I really want this alcoholic

00:39:22.679 --> 00:39:24.880
father, and I think I'll take a drug addict mother,

00:39:25.099 --> 00:39:27.400
yay, let's make it happen. On a human level,

00:39:27.500 --> 00:39:29.780
we would have never chosen that. The time you

00:39:29.780 --> 00:39:32.039
were born, the time period you were born, the

00:39:32.039 --> 00:39:34.900
home you grew up in, the religion you were indoctrinated

00:39:34.900 --> 00:39:39.719
into, all of that is beyond this concept of agency

00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:43.780
in the human. Now, at a higher level, it was

00:39:43.780 --> 00:39:47.880
a 100 % agency. So I think agency is a really

00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:50.719
interesting, depending on how you're using it.

00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:53.599
Now, what is free will here? We hear a lot about

00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:54.960
free will and people feel like, well, I don't

00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:57.360
know, do we really have free will? I always say

00:39:57.360 --> 00:39:59.780
your free will ends where your programming begins.

00:40:01.079 --> 00:40:03.559
Science proves that. When you're in 95 % of your

00:40:03.559 --> 00:40:06.260
day, you're an autopilot, how free are you if

00:40:06.260 --> 00:40:08.619
you're just acting on automatic programming?

00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:13.800
So your free will begins where your metacognition

00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:16.579
is implemented when you can take a moment and

00:40:16.579 --> 00:40:19.199
stop and think about your thinking, thinking

00:40:19.199 --> 00:40:21.760
about how you're thinking when you start questioning

00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:24.340
your own belief system. So many times we just

00:40:24.340 --> 00:40:26.119
accept what's been said and told and we just

00:40:26.119 --> 00:40:28.519
go, my mama believed it, my grandmama believed

00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:30.739
it, and we'll just live and die right on out

00:40:30.739 --> 00:40:34.460
of here with that. So metacognition, the ability

00:40:34.460 --> 00:40:37.139
to see oneself in their own thought processes,

00:40:37.380 --> 00:40:41.280
right? So the stage is set, that's destiny. How

00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:45.900
you act upon that stage is free will, given if

00:40:45.900 --> 00:40:49.500
you can rise above in a lifetime your own neurological

00:40:49.500 --> 00:40:52.480
programming. how you are conditioned, what do

00:40:52.480 --> 00:40:54.820
you do every day? How do you handle conflict?

00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:57.719
How do you deal with things when they don't go

00:40:57.719 --> 00:41:00.980
your way? We all have go -tos. To be able to

00:41:00.980 --> 00:41:04.639
see ourselves increases our agency. Otherwise,

00:41:05.059 --> 00:41:08.719
we are puppeted by our neurological programming,

00:41:08.980 --> 00:41:11.579
if that makes sense. When you say neurological

00:41:11.579 --> 00:41:14.000
programming, are you referring back to a statement

00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.739
you made just a minute ago? I believe you said

00:41:16.739 --> 00:41:20.369
that Our personalities are based on our parents.

00:41:20.750 --> 00:41:23.829
Did you say that or did I take that wrong? No,

00:41:24.309 --> 00:41:26.489
I didn't say our personalities are based on our

00:41:26.489 --> 00:41:29.349
parents, but I will say this. Our personality

00:41:29.349 --> 00:41:33.269
is the collection of thoughts, beliefs, emotions

00:41:33.269 --> 00:41:37.349
that we develop and our programming, which is

00:41:37.349 --> 00:41:39.550
basically the software that we're all running.

00:41:39.960 --> 00:41:42.679
We all are running the brain, the way the brain

00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:45.739
works. We're collecting data and we're accessing

00:41:45.739 --> 00:41:47.780
that data and we're responding to the stimuli

00:41:47.780 --> 00:41:50.400
of our brain. And science has shown. Science,

00:41:50.500 --> 00:41:54.820
this is not even a speculative thing. It's shown

00:41:54.820 --> 00:41:58.940
that we are 95 % of the time in our day on autopilot.

00:41:59.579 --> 00:42:02.159
So who's choosing when we're on autopilot? Who's

00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:04.800
choosing? We get up the same way. We move throughout

00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:07.699
the same day the same way. Mostly we drink our

00:42:07.699 --> 00:42:10.000
coffee the same way. We do the same. Like we're

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.880
on autopilot. We'll drive in the car. We don't

00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:13.840
even realize how we got there. We pull up to

00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.480
our destination. That's a great example of autopilot.

00:42:16.900 --> 00:42:19.679
But we also respond to life's circumstances and

00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:22.139
stimuli often the same. That's how you can be

00:42:22.139 --> 00:42:24.199
with someone and you know how they're going to

00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:26.519
respond when something comes up. When you know

00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:28.340
someone's response before they even respond,

00:42:28.420 --> 00:42:30.670
that means you have glitched their program. because

00:42:30.670 --> 00:42:32.969
their program means that when this happens, they

00:42:32.969 --> 00:42:36.130
always go here, right? And we all have that experience.

00:42:36.550 --> 00:42:38.949
Our personality is absolutely shaped by our home

00:42:38.949 --> 00:42:41.730
environment. Absolutely. We have some propensities

00:42:41.730 --> 00:42:45.409
genetically, but we also, what we saw was modeled,

00:42:45.889 --> 00:42:48.340
what was demonstrated to us by our parents. It

00:42:48.340 --> 00:42:51.039
gave us a message to the world. How we were treated

00:42:51.039 --> 00:42:53.320
as children becomes a voice inside of our own

00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:56.619
head. So unless we become conscious, that is

00:42:56.619 --> 00:42:59.699
why being mindful, and I use the word metacognition,

00:43:00.019 --> 00:43:02.699
unless we become aware, unless we become aware

00:43:02.699 --> 00:43:05.360
of our triggers. A trigger is just a wound that

00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:07.219
hasn't been healed. That's why it triggers you.

00:43:07.739 --> 00:43:09.820
Two people can be in the same situation and both

00:43:09.820 --> 00:43:13.579
can have very different responses. It's not based

00:43:13.579 --> 00:43:15.440
upon the external stimuli. It's based upon how

00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:17.610
their brain is programmed. And the reason that

00:43:17.610 --> 00:43:20.889
I bring that up is because I have five children

00:43:20.889 --> 00:43:24.070
and they were born with different personalities.

00:43:24.730 --> 00:43:27.250
They were raised in the same home and turned

00:43:27.250 --> 00:43:29.530
out differently, but that's not just the way

00:43:29.530 --> 00:43:31.750
they were raised or different things that happened

00:43:31.750 --> 00:43:35.190
to them. They came here from day one, they had

00:43:35.190 --> 00:43:38.150
different personalities. I could see it and I

00:43:38.150 --> 00:43:41.880
could witness it. Absolutely. It's not just environmental,

00:43:42.139 --> 00:43:44.639
and I'm not saying that it is just environmental,

00:43:45.179 --> 00:43:47.699
but environment does play an impact. But my mother

00:43:47.699 --> 00:43:50.000
had five girls too, so I'm one of five. We're

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:53.059
all very, very different. We had some innate

00:43:53.059 --> 00:43:56.760
things, right? So your children had innate qualities

00:43:56.760 --> 00:43:59.880
that belonged to them. Some were maybe more sensitive,

00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.159
some were more creative, some were more expressive,

00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:04.940
some were more extrovert, some were more introvert.

00:44:05.239 --> 00:44:07.960
That is a part of their own unique expression.

00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:12.800
but growing up in an environment in general will

00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.880
have a significant impact on the brain and how

00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:19.800
the child processes. They will process different,

00:44:20.239 --> 00:44:22.780
maybe one child process it this way and theirs

00:44:22.780 --> 00:44:24.460
will look very different than how this child

00:44:24.460 --> 00:44:27.559
process it. But nonetheless, that internal stimuli,

00:44:28.139 --> 00:44:32.300
that environment did and does influence how a

00:44:32.300 --> 00:44:35.480
child develops because the brain is in a very

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:39.039
low brainwave, right? It's in theta. Theta is

00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:43.159
automatic suggestion. So all of us as children

00:44:43.159 --> 00:44:46.699
are being influenced and that influence is affecting

00:44:46.699 --> 00:44:49.539
how we're programmed. So how we will play out

00:44:49.539 --> 00:44:52.579
that program may be very different from our sibling

00:44:52.579 --> 00:44:55.139
because we have a different innate sense of,

00:44:55.139 --> 00:44:57.579
you know, more sensitivity, et cetera, et cetera.

00:44:57.860 --> 00:45:00.559
And Darnella, you are being so sweet and I just

00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:03.579
want to make sure that you understand I'm not

00:45:03.579 --> 00:45:06.989
being argumentative on this stuff. I love to

00:45:06.989 --> 00:45:09.489
talk about both sides of issues. That's how I

00:45:09.489 --> 00:45:13.190
learn and grow. And so please, please, please

00:45:13.190 --> 00:45:16.550
don't take any of this personally or as me arguing

00:45:16.550 --> 00:45:19.250
with your beliefs, okay? Oh, no, no, no. I love

00:45:19.250 --> 00:45:22.889
it. I'm here to have a conversation and I actually

00:45:22.889 --> 00:45:25.369
really do enjoy the challenge because I know

00:45:25.369 --> 00:45:27.710
these are very complex concepts and they're layered

00:45:27.710 --> 00:45:30.210
and they're multi -dimensional and they're multi

00:45:30.210 --> 00:45:34.659
-expansive. And I endeavor to do my best to express

00:45:34.659 --> 00:45:37.659
them and try to use the language that I understand

00:45:37.659 --> 00:45:39.699
from my own understanding. But I'm also aware

00:45:39.699 --> 00:45:42.239
when I'm speaking, there may be people that disagree

00:45:42.239 --> 00:45:44.260
with me and there may be people that really disagree

00:45:44.260 --> 00:45:46.059
with some of the things I've said, or maybe all

00:45:46.059 --> 00:45:49.079
the things I said. The world is big enough for

00:45:49.079 --> 00:45:51.800
a space for us all. I think at the end of the

00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:53.980
day, again, it's not about me convincing or converting

00:45:53.980 --> 00:45:56.019
someone into my belief system, but it's just

00:45:56.019 --> 00:46:00.179
me sharing. And if someone hears one thing, that

00:46:00.179 --> 00:46:02.159
maybe they said, hmm, that's worth considering,

00:46:02.579 --> 00:46:05.059
then our job has been done well here today. And

00:46:05.059 --> 00:46:07.360
amen to all of that. And if you don't believe

00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:09.880
it, just look at some of the comments that people

00:46:09.880 --> 00:46:14.019
leave on our YouTube videos. They're all over

00:46:14.019 --> 00:46:16.800
the place. Believe me, I don't take them personally

00:46:16.800 --> 00:46:20.500
very often. Hey, before we go, I do want to jump

00:46:20.500 --> 00:46:22.840
back into this just for our last few minutes.

00:46:23.300 --> 00:46:25.900
Some of the deep questions. Throw some of them

00:46:25.900 --> 00:46:28.139
out there that you like to ponder on yourself.

00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:30.840
Because of the amount of death I've experienced,

00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:32.860
you know, I had a dear friend that passed three

00:46:32.860 --> 00:46:35.300
weeks ago from cancer. She was 44 years old.

00:46:35.300 --> 00:46:38.039
She fought it for 12 years. One of the most valiant

00:46:38.039 --> 00:46:40.360
fights I've ever seen. Walked with her through

00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:43.519
that journey. The questions that I always ask

00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:47.320
why her or why him or why this little boy, I

00:46:47.320 --> 00:46:50.179
still have the very human questions. Because

00:46:50.179 --> 00:46:52.820
even though I have the answer, I feel like I

00:46:52.820 --> 00:46:55.179
have an answer for me. I'll say that. But not

00:46:55.179 --> 00:46:57.789
everybody's gonna set my answer. I subscribed

00:46:57.789 --> 00:46:59.909
there's something greater than me guiding and

00:46:59.909 --> 00:47:02.690
navigating me through this life and that it knows

00:47:02.690 --> 00:47:05.469
exactly and precisely when it is time to transition.

00:47:05.949 --> 00:47:08.510
I must trust that with everything that I am,

00:47:08.750 --> 00:47:11.590
lest I go crazy trying to figure out why good

00:47:11.590 --> 00:47:14.949
people die and people who are less than noble

00:47:14.949 --> 00:47:18.949
live very long lives. So I can't frame all of

00:47:18.949 --> 00:47:22.320
this. from the human perspective. That has been

00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:25.019
my piece. When I look at this like a human being,

00:47:25.139 --> 00:47:27.840
I would fall out onto the floor and cry injustice.

00:47:28.780 --> 00:47:30.840
When my 38 -year -old best friend died with two

00:47:30.840 --> 00:47:33.199
kids in high school, it didn't make any sense

00:47:33.199 --> 00:47:36.000
to my linear processing brain. and it didn't

00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.860
seem right on any level, but her journey was

00:47:38.860 --> 00:47:41.659
perfection. I have come now to understand that

00:47:41.659 --> 00:47:44.159
if I attempt to qualify all the questions through

00:47:44.159 --> 00:47:46.500
my human brain and my human reasoning and my

00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:49.239
human programming, because I do have it, because

00:47:49.239 --> 00:47:52.139
I know that there is a higher order and that

00:47:52.139 --> 00:47:54.860
when I'm in the human experience, because the

00:47:54.860 --> 00:47:57.719
human eye can only register less than 1 % of

00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:00.519
the visible light spectrum, there is 99 % of

00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:04.880
the world I'm not even seeing. So, In that humility,

00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:08.659
I understand I get a sliver. Imagine me looking

00:48:08.659 --> 00:48:10.599
at you right now, Eric, and all I could see was

00:48:10.599 --> 00:48:13.119
the bottom of your mic. I couldn't see you. I

00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:14.400
couldn't see your shirt. I couldn't see your

00:48:14.400 --> 00:48:15.840
background. I couldn't see your flowers. I couldn't

00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:18.119
see that wheel back there, right? If I could

00:48:18.119 --> 00:48:20.099
only see that, I wouldn't really get the full

00:48:20.099 --> 00:48:22.420
picture. So in the human experience, because

00:48:22.420 --> 00:48:26.519
we are veiled by the body itself and our limited

00:48:26.519 --> 00:48:30.519
awareness, we don't have the full picture. So

00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:33.739
from my understanding, I don't know. I don't

00:48:33.739 --> 00:48:36.079
always know the answer, but I trust there is

00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:39.000
a higher source that does and that it is navigating

00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:42.119
and directing my steps and ordering my path.

00:48:42.119 --> 00:48:44.519
And that's my faith, right? I guess that's what

00:48:44.519 --> 00:48:47.380
we come down to, faith. What do you really believe

00:48:47.380 --> 00:48:49.619
in? And the thing is, you got to believe in something

00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:51.960
even if you don't believe in something. Even

00:48:51.960 --> 00:48:53.719
if you believe in nothing, that's still a belief

00:48:53.719 --> 00:48:55.500
in something. That's a belief in nothing. It's

00:48:55.500 --> 00:48:58.860
still belief. So we all believe in something.

00:48:58.880 --> 00:49:02.039
And the beautiful thing is that one day, everyone

00:49:02.300 --> 00:49:04.699
will get the opportunity to answer this question

00:49:04.699 --> 00:49:06.440
for themselves, because we will all approach

00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:09.340
that gate to death. And the question is, how

00:49:09.340 --> 00:49:13.840
will you meet it? Well, how will you live? I

00:49:13.840 --> 00:49:16.739
believe a large part of how you live is going

00:49:16.739 --> 00:49:19.840
to give you either more peace when that time

00:49:19.840 --> 00:49:23.320
arrives or less peace. And what I mean by that,

00:49:23.320 --> 00:49:25.719
it's looking at our everyday actions, how we

00:49:25.719 --> 00:49:28.619
treat the people we say that we love. And I say

00:49:28.619 --> 00:49:31.329
we say that we love because oftentimes, It's

00:49:31.329 --> 00:49:34.150
easy to snap up your partner. It's easy to take

00:49:34.150 --> 00:49:37.489
advantage and be the people that you know so

00:49:37.489 --> 00:49:40.010
well, people that will love you. It's easy to

00:49:40.010 --> 00:49:42.269
mistreat someone who's in your space every day.

00:49:42.570 --> 00:49:45.829
It's how we show up. It's how we speak to others.

00:49:45.949 --> 00:49:48.869
It's how we speak to ourselves. It's what we

00:49:48.869 --> 00:49:52.389
are contributing to life. It's not always about

00:49:52.389 --> 00:49:54.949
just making that vote once every few years. People

00:49:54.949 --> 00:49:58.219
are on this big push, vote, vote, vote. You vote

00:49:58.219 --> 00:50:00.219
every day that you wake up and get out of your

00:50:00.219 --> 00:50:02.719
bed. You're voting for life. You're voting for

00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:05.219
life and your energy and whether you are giving

00:50:05.219 --> 00:50:08.000
a kind word or destructive word, whether you

00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:10.320
are lifting up someone or tearing them down.

00:50:10.780 --> 00:50:12.460
It is all a reflection of what you're offering

00:50:12.460 --> 00:50:15.360
to the planet. I believe all of that accumulates

00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:19.260
in a lifetime and you will meet that at your

00:50:19.260 --> 00:50:22.760
transition. Who have I been? What have I offered

00:50:22.760 --> 00:50:25.619
to this planet? Did I endeavor to help more than

00:50:25.619 --> 00:50:29.119
I hurt? So my thing is, I hope everybody will

00:50:29.119 --> 00:50:31.639
consider those things while they're alive. Keep

00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:33.920
close to your own heart that one day your time

00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:36.800
here will be done. This moment, even if you live

00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:40.139
100 years, is still very brief. Era on the side

00:50:40.139 --> 00:50:43.039
of love, I always say, but love is never an era.

00:50:44.019 --> 00:50:46.940
Beautiful. Hey, if people want to reach out to

00:50:46.940 --> 00:50:51.559
you, it is journeytoworthy .org. And by the way,

00:50:51.699 --> 00:50:53.789
go ahead and plug your book. Oh, thank you. Yes,

00:50:53.889 --> 00:50:55.769
I had a dear friend of mine who transitioned

00:50:55.769 --> 00:50:58.630
in 2021. He took his life. He was a student of

00:50:58.630 --> 00:51:00.949
mine, a protege. He worked with me, traveled

00:51:00.949 --> 00:51:03.730
with me all over the world, co -facilitated retreats

00:51:03.730 --> 00:51:06.030
with me, but he struggled with addiction and

00:51:06.030 --> 00:51:08.949
with mental illness. He ended his life in 2021.

00:51:09.250 --> 00:51:12.590
It was a really... I went into a very, very...

00:51:12.699 --> 00:51:15.840
difficult, dark place. So I wrote a book called

00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:18.300
The Next Breath, Life After Loss and Journeys

00:51:18.300 --> 00:51:21.659
into the Hereafter. I address the very difficult

00:51:21.659 --> 00:51:25.119
topic of suicide in that book. And I also incorporate

00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:29.360
a lot of my own personal experiences in the hereafter

00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:32.059
through my travels. And I also met him on the

00:51:32.059 --> 00:51:34.199
other side of the veil after he ended his life.

00:51:34.420 --> 00:51:36.659
And I share that in the book as well. So it's

00:51:36.659 --> 00:51:39.650
called The Next Breath by Darnella Ford. And

00:51:39.650 --> 00:51:42.010
yes, Journey to Worthy, they can contact me through

00:51:42.010 --> 00:51:45.889
my website. And it's T -O, Journey to T -O, journeytoworthy

00:51:45.889 --> 00:51:49.250
.org. I do read the comments. So if people drop

00:51:49.250 --> 00:51:51.590
comments and let me know what you thought of

00:51:51.590 --> 00:51:54.090
the episode. And I'm always, my heart is always

00:51:54.090 --> 00:51:57.090
open. Please be kind. My heart is tender, but

00:51:57.090 --> 00:52:00.039
I'd love to know how, what people thought. Yeah.

00:52:01.739 --> 00:52:05.039
When it's YouTube, not everybody's kind. I know.

00:52:05.380 --> 00:52:07.780
Yeah, I've seen. I've seen. But I appreciate

00:52:07.780 --> 00:52:11.079
you being with me today. A lot of good stuff

00:52:11.079 --> 00:52:13.920
to talk about. We could go three more hours easily,

00:52:13.920 --> 00:52:16.400
and maybe we will one of these days. But in the

00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:18.800
meantime, take care. It's been great getting

00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:21.099
to know you, Darnella. Yay. Thank you so much,

00:52:21.239 --> 00:52:22.920
Eric. I appreciate the opportunity to be with

00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:26.909
you today. Thanks again for listening and sharing

00:52:26.909 --> 00:52:29.230
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow

00:52:29.230 --> 00:52:32.070
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter

00:52:32.070 --> 00:52:34.909
at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share

00:52:34.909 --> 00:52:37.690
your near -death experience or if you have questions

00:52:37.690 --> 00:52:40.369
or comments about the show, send an email to

00:52:40.369 --> 00:52:43.869
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish

00:52:43.869 --> 00:52:45.750
you everything good that you're looking for in

00:52:45.750 --> 00:52:47.449
this life and the next.