NDE: Bled Out During C-Section, Saw Grandmothers

0:03 From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then they paddled. My heart, my heart had stopped and I could see people screaming and crying but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody. I'm really happy to have with me today Cy Marie Johnson. How are you today?

0:48 I'm doing pretty good. It's a nice Friday. Remind me where you're from. I am in Oregon. Okay. I've been talking to so many people east today it's good to talk to somebody west. Anyway we're thrilled to have you here and before we jump into your near -death experience which is terrifying and beautiful and all of the above tell us just a little bit about you could you take just a minute let us get to know you a little bit. I am an author and a screenwriter. I am a mother of four children and two of my sons unfortunately were born with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and they're fully wheelchair bound. So in addition to what I'm here to talk to you about today, that has been a big cross to bear and a burden, but it has also allowed me to take kind of of, you know, my experiences, my trauma and my pain and learn the lessons from those things on how I could take that and inspire other people through my own experience. And when you get to these different, I mean, these are some incredibly emotionally devastating things I've gone through. Of course, of course they hit me hard. But everyone who goes through those stages and has those moments, I feel like You got two choices that you can take on the route what you have to do healing you and you have to tap into What that looks like for you because it does look different for everyone, but I'm a very spiritual person So

2:20 I kind of after my NDE that geared me into the career field that I am now if you will so That's just a little bit of background. I feel like my near -death experience and some of those other things Help shape me into who I am. So that I could build up the confidence through healing and this journey to become Cy Marie Johnson, the author. How old are the boys? My oldest son is 22 years old, and my second one, I actually have three sons, but these are the two with the disease, is 19 years old. Okay. One of my best friends had a form of muscular dystrophy, so I'm pretty familiar with it. It's a rough one.

3:03 Yeah, it's really rugged. Speaking of rugged, we're going to talk about a really rugged childbirth that you had about 15 years ago. Before we let everybody know exactly what happened during your pregnancy, did you have any hint that there were going to be problems during childbirth? Yes, I did. I had an incredibly rough, very high -risk pregnancy, and I had to go to a number of specialists. At that time, I happened to be in Nashville, Tennessee, and they sent me to a specialist at Baptist Hospital who scheduled to put me in because they expected that if they didn't be proactive, that they were going to be dealing with probably a loss of both of mine and my son's life. Well, do you want to tell us about it a little bit?

3:50 Sure. 2011 is when this all happened. Early 2011 is when my son was born, but the pregnancy was mostly 2010. 2010, when I found out that I was pregnant, I had already known a few things about my history that had led me to believe that I needed to be very cautious and conscientious about my health and my growing babies. I already had a background with some heavy, difficult childbirths from my three other children. And I kind of had that as a side note in my mind of okay well I'm just going to be proactive because these things could happen and they did happen. And what happened with me specifically was I developed a rare complication called placenta procreta. I've heard of placenta previa. How is this different? It is related placenta previa was the first diagnosis that I got but there are two different types of rare even worsening complications that can happen from placenta previa and that is with placenta previa the placenta goes to the bottom and it's at the bottom of the uterus and it makes it really difficult to have you know a regular childbirth because it's blocking the birth canal. Okay so that happened but what happens even more that can happen is first there's placenta accreta and that's when the placenta completely attaches in that spot. and it cannot move at all. Sometimes

5:21 you get placenta previa and it will still shift with the baby growing and move up, but if you get a creta, then it's stuck there. And then percreta is when the placenta starts to grow through the uterine wall and towards other organs in your body. In my case, that happened. It glued through the uterine wall and started to try to grow into my bladder. The reason why that occurred is because I had had C -sections beforehand and I had scar tissue so that it did not know to stop growing. I should have welcomed everybody to the women's health hour instead. And I don't mean to get too personal. Please just shut me down if I cross any lines here. But I think some people are curious. These things happen and they're so deadly. Yes. So it comes time to go into labor.

6:08 What happens then? Well, they didn't want to allow me to go into labor, so they actually scheduled me to go in. I went to have a scan on Valentine's Day. My son was born February 18th. So Valentine's Day, I went in and the doctor said from the scan, we're really worried. We think we need to get you into the high -risk labor ward as soon as possible to prevent you from going in and schedule a C -section. we can have all the staff on hand to help you with any hemorrhaging you might have, which obviously I'll tell you that. You know, and also to get me the steroid shots. And one of my aunts had to give me a steroid shot the day I went in the morning, I actually got admitted.

6:50 So I had to take one that night and then the morning I got admitted as well. And I was in the hospital for about two and a half weeks. Okay. Keep going. Okay. So in the hospital, I'm I'm telling you Eric, everything that could happen to somebody happened to me. Very much tested my strength as a person and my faith in anything. So I get up there and they get me all set up and they start me on my IVs and they tell me I can't eat and everything because they're getting me prepared for pre labor, pre OR. And everything seems to be going pretty standard the way that I am used to C -section planning going. So we go and they had to, this was something that was different. They were sent me to radiology and they said, okay, so we're doing something and it shouldn't hurt at all, but we're going to take these balloons and we're gonna cut into the apex of your thighs and we're gonna thread these up. So if there's any hemorrhaging when we do this operation, we can inflate them and it will cut off. the blood supply so that we don't have an overbearing problem that we can try to stop it before you lose all of your blood and die, basically. And it shouldn't hurt when we cut into your legs and, yeah, okay. That's what they told me. They sent me into radiology and they're like, this should be fine. I mean, they made it seem like it was just going to be something simple like a pen prick or maybe a shot. Not the case. I felt all of it. And there

8:21 was no anesthetic used. And I also had to completely hold still because of what they were doing and everything else that I had already attached to me with the IVs. And it was painful. And I told the radiologist that, you know, this is painful. And I think they were a little bit surprised that no one else had actually vocalized that, I guess. I don't know. I know that it hurt me. Yeah, of course it did. Alright, keep on going. So we get through that procedure and I have these balloons in my legs and they had to put a CV, another IV in me, like a central one in my neck.

9:03 And that was a preventionary in case they did have to immediately attach any kind of blood transfusions or platelets or anything that was, you know, blood product to me. and it would be able to go straight into the neck through the carotid and rest of my body. They went to do that and they had to get a radiologist with a portable x -ray machine and they came over and they well before the x -ray machine person came they tried to put it in and they pinched a nerve in my neck. Then they're like oh no so they went and they go get this radiology person and they have to get them to scan my neck so they can make sure they don't hit the nerve and they still get the the artery right. So these are all the things that are leading up and now I'm starting to get anxious obviously because I've been put through through pain that I was told wouldn't hurt Now I've had a nerve pinched and all these extra things happening that I've never had before so I'm up to that point and they finally get me into the OR and They're like, okay, we're getting ready to do this We're gonna count you down because when the with the type of c -section I was having in that case It was the abdominal length one instead of the across horizontal way They put you completely under with that when they do what's called the bikini cut incision, which is the horizontal way at the bottom of the abdomen. They usually do either an epidural or a spinal tap on that. And in this case, because it's a bigger abdominal section that's cut, they just completely put you under. And so they started

10:34 to count me down and I remember hearing two and that was it before my near -death experience happened. So I'm in the OR, I get counted down to two. And the next thing that I know, and I will tell you what people told me happened. in real time while I was under, but this is what I know happened after I was under, okay? I'm awake and I'm suddenly in this... I express it as kind of like it's a hallway, but when people have asked me does it feel like it was like a tunnel, like it had walls that you could see, and the answer is no. But I felt like it was tunnel -like because I'm standing in this darkness and this just open, dark, black space. I'm standing there and I'm looking around and it just it feels the same as what it would feel like being in a dark tunnel so that's the way that I felt on initial and so At first I'm just like where am I? You know, I've never had any kind of dreams like this. So this was weird and so then I See this tiny distant like ball of light like it's really tiny like an ember Way way way deep in the darkness And so I'm drawn to this like a moth to the flame because it's the only other thing besides me in the darkness there. And I start to walk towards it slowly, curiously, and suddenly I feel pressure on both of my shoulders.

12:04 Like somebody is on trying to push me, stop me. And I look this way and I see my dad's mother who passed away when I was three years old. Clear as day, she's right there and her hand's on my shoulder and she's looking at me. And I know it's her. I remember, I have very few memories, but I remember what she looked like. And I've seen pictures through time, you know. And then I look this way and I see my great -grandmother from my mom's side, my mother's, mother's mother. Same thing. And she died when I was 15. And I see the light between them, like in the distance. And I keep trying to walk and they're trying to stop me. And they say, no, stop. It's not your time. There's lots of things you still have to do. I feel so compelled to just keep going towards light and this feeling that's undescribable this beautiful whole pure love Goodness every good energy emotion that we could ever have on earth Times like five thousand so strong and it's magnetic and all I want to do is get to it and my Grandmothers are both telling me no stop if you go any further you won't be able to come back The next thing I know I'm back But my eyes are not fully open and I can just hear lightly my ex -husband and my cousin who were in the hospital and they were in the post OR room and they were talking about how I almost died and this is what I'm hearing as I'm and I finally opened my eyes and I look at my cousin's the one the closest to me and my ex -husband was more towards the foot of the bed and the

13:37 first thing out of my mouth is where's my baby and they're both just like oh my god you're awake you've been out for hours It felt like 10 minutes, Eric. Okay. I'm not quite sure what to make of this big darkness area. Some people refer to a void. Do you feel like it was a void or do you feel like it was more of a tunnel going somewhere? I think it was both and I've told that to people more than once and it is a void but I also think that if you keep moving forward it does lead to somewhere. And people have asked me before, well, where do you think it leads? I didn't get that far. I was told by people that I've already passed on that I recognized in a loving way to go back to my body that I still had things to do. And at first I kind of didn't want to, but then I heeded the advice. I feel that it's definitely just like a big void to start out with, but there's something when you move forward through it. I don't know what it is. Well, the fact that you were super drawn to that light says a whole lot Of course you said you were feeling pure love Times five thousand and things like that Do you think it was coming from that light or where you were? No, it was definitely the source of the light and the source of the light is what sent them Okay, so that's why you were drawn to it. That's where all that good feeling was coming from Now it makes sense. All right, tell

15:07 me about grandma and great -grandma Well, my grandma Elizabeth, which was my dad's mother again Like I said, she passed away when I was three years old So I only got to know her for a very brief amount of time during some just starting to get your formative memories, just a few stay, you know what I mean? I will say I was fortunate to be able to hold on to a lot of my toddler memories about that time period. So she was originally from Missouri. She was a woman of incredible fortitude and faith. She came from the Ozarks and she was from the Appalachian area. And she ended up moving from there to Oregon where she met my grandfather, my dad's dad. and he was a soldier during World War II, fought over across seas in Germany and things. The two of them settled here in Oregon and raised their family. And she was, she was a kind of had some mythical beliefs, old folklore, because she was from Appalachia. And but she was also a very strong faith driven woman and had a lot of belief in God and tried to raise her family. with that kind of conviction. So that definitely stemmed forward to my raising through my dad. So she was a person that, evidently from what I've been told, adored me and was ecstatic. I was her second grandchild. I have an older cousin named Rachel, but I guess really thrilled when she would have

16:39 Rachel and I together. We were the light of her life. Did you get a good look at her? Like what she was wearing, how old she looked? Tell me about that part. Not really like clothing wise but like faith face wise and like what she looked like and it's important to note my dad passed away in 2022 and the day that he passed away I had a dream with her in it in a very similar way and he was with her I Knew when I woke up that I was gonna get the news that my father passed away that day and I did So she looked just like she did when she was young I could tell that it was her, but it was before age had taken over and she had gotten, you know, older.

17:25 I would say probably about 30 -ish. Her hair is a similar color to mine. She had auburn hair, which was kind of like chestnut brown, but with like a red, rusty kind of highlight. I have that naturally too. And kind of wavy, curly, about to here, which was how she wore it when she was young, about 30 years old. Good health, very vibrant. Full of that same kind of like that same light Kind of filled her eyes if you will Okay, how about great -grandmother? So my great -grandmother I knew a little bit better She was with me a little longer through life and she was originally from Wisconsin and then she was moved to California during the Second World War She was a redhead blue eyes and fiery personality, but also incredibly faith driven as well. And part of that was because of some of the experiences that she had in her life. For example, my grandmother almost passed away as an infant because of a house fire that they just barely got out of.

18:27 So these kind of experiences really shaped her into becoming very spiritual person as well. She was always an incredibly open minded person. She taught me to accept all people. And she taught me that she grew up during a time when there was a lot of hatred in the world that we don't have to carry forward. She was a person who wanted to bring joy to people's lives. And she got cancer, which is what took her. When she was 76, she passed away. And that last time I spent any time with her was the May just before that. She passed away November. She told me, she goes, you know, you're only ever as old as you allow yourself to feel. no matter what's going on. So I always try to stay in my 16 year old self. However, that's not how she looked. She also looked about 30 and in good health, the same as my grandma Elizabeth. Her name was Bernice. Full red hair, flaming, curly like when she was young and just beautiful. Like both of them were just beautiful and full of light and vibrance like if they were on their best day in life. You had mentioned that after you woke up, you immediately were asking about your baby. Did you think about your baby at all when you were in this experience?

19:41 No, none of any of my concerns that I had on the earthly plane, if you will, were with me at that. The only thing I felt was that draw to this incredible over all beautiful, all encompassing love. And if not for the two of them telling me to go back, I would have continued toward it. That was the only thing. I wanted to be in the presence of that. Do you feel like you had a choice or they were making you go back? No, I think that after they first tried to stop me and they said what they said to give their message that that was an opportunity for me to make a choice, but to be aware that I was making a choice in that moment that I would not be able to come back from if I had moved forward. That was when I actually I think it was in that moment that I realized there's something behind me. I have to do Do you remember coming back into your body at all? I just like I said, I remember hearing people at first and then slowly cracking my groggy eyes and seeing my cousin and They were talking amongst themselves of right when I opened like I could hear them for probably a minute before I opened my eye She lost almost all of her blood.

20:58 She's been out for several hours and my cousin saying, well, I got these pictures of the baby. And that was when I woke up when I looked at her and I said, where's my baby? Was she in the room with you or in the nursery? Well, he went to the NICU because he was incredibly premature. So she, when he was taken and I was under went to the NICU because she had been given pre -permission, pre -authorized by me. to be able to go there because I knew I would not be able to see his, I wouldn't be able to take any firstborn pictures. I wouldn't be able to do any of those things. And his dad, so he was my second husband. It was his firstborn child. So there was a lot of things he was really nervous about, but this was my cousin that was already a mom and was kind of like here, you know, I'll help out and kind of be there as a support person for you while we go through you having your first child and all these other traumatizing things that are happening. How premature was he? He was not actually supposed to be born until May and he was born in February. So three whole months.

22:02 Yeah. Wow. Let's get to the tough stuff, which is physical healing after something like that. How long were you in the hospital? Well, two and a half weeks total for me. For him, it was two and a half months. Yeah. He had to put on weight and he had to be able to breathe on his own and be willing to eat and all these different things that different premature babies have to meet. I already knew from my previous C -sections that there were a couple of things that were standard protocol that I would have to do despite the fact that I had had a hysterectomy. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy partial because of this, because the placenta growing through my uterus just mangled it. I couldn't live like that. So they had to take it and I had a really hard time for a while because they had a drainage tube in my side that didn't want to heal. It was very stubborn and they were afraid they were going to have to go back in and do more surgery to ensure that it was healing right. And I didn't just have this constant open wound. So that happening and I still knew I had to get out of the bed within 24 hours and do at least four walks rotations around the ward. um, in front of the nursing station because when you have abdominal surgery, all the gastric buildup can cause a lot of pressure that can, I don't want to be gross, but it can cause you a lot of problems with the incisions and healing and staples and things like that.

23:34 So you have to get up to move to make sure that your bowels are moving to get all of that excess gastric gases out. So you don't have that problem. Of course, that hurts. It's very painful. I had the 25 blood transfusions that happened almost immediately. They started giving me that. After they did that and they thought that I was stabilized and they noticed that I still had the drainage tube problem with that wound, they had to give me an extra platelet baglet. It was just a transfusion of pure platelets, which is basically plasma. Then things did turn around. I was there for a while and I wasn't allowed to eat for three or four days. It felt like I was going through absolute H -E -L -L because I was seriously so parched that I was crying to my husband just to see if they'll let you give me some ice chips because I can't. I'm so dehydrated. This is horrible.

24:34 And he's like, we're not supposed to give you anything. So it was challenging. And then I just kind of... Followed the advice of the doctors and nurses and did my best I think it was earlier that you and I were talking about some of the more detail about what happened during the surgery and How you lost all the blood so let's go ahead and go back into that for a minute Okay, so they had put in those balloons in an effort to try to prevent any hemorrhaging but When I was under evidently what occurred was they went ahead and they started to do the incision and there was such a mangled mess with the uterus that the blood flow just like it just The placenta and all of that blood that it had and was connected directly to me went everywhere they inflated the balloons and They did the emergency hysterectomy quickly to try to deal with that mess. It just was everywhere. I I guess it was like a horror scene on the table. I of course was under so I don't know more than what the doctors and my husband and my ex -husband and my cousin told me, but it was evidently just an instant waterfall of blood. It all just came gushing out and they were able because of all the prep that they did to keep me stabilized and immediately just started my transfusions. Yeah. You wouldn't have made

26:07 it if they hadn't have done all that. Certainly. An experience like this changes people. How did you come away different from this? Before I had my NDE, I was a person that was incredibly anxious. Anxiety was a big problem of mine. I'm not going to say that it's totally gone away. I was very insecure. I had a very low caliber of confidence and faith in myself. Was living a half -life is how I feel after the near -death experience and I healed and I started to have some time to introspect and Meditate a little bit about what I had gone through what I seen and then I finally told people this is what happened to me while I was under and people were They were interested in hearing what I had to say. It started to really make me see that I had always been a writer I had done that, but I didn't share it. I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't believe in myself and I was actually incredibly talented. Now I'm a published author. I work on three podcasts as a creative lead. I guest on other people's podcasts all the time. I get to go and experience things and I'm blessed in a way that I had never believed I could be before.

27:24 And I think that that was more or less just the recognition that This was my second chance. What can I do differently? And I was like Try a different method choose. You're hard. You've already tried this way and this is where it led and you almost died Try believing in yourself go out on a limb see what happens What kind of books do you write? I? Am a multi -genre author so I write a lot of different types, but what got me a foot in the door was romance since then I I've written my most recent book is a nonfiction and it is challenging the status quo 20 lessons on successful freelance ghostwriting because that's where my business really flourished. I have an LLC and I offer writing services in addition to being an author. And this has allowed me the opportunity to be an independent artist and to inspire people and make my own money, take my children to go see things and do things with them despite their limitations. I'm not rich and I'm constantly working towards my next endeavor, but I'm still blessed to be experiencing life on a level that I feel more of that joy and happiness. Well, congratulations on all of that. And on doing the hard things, I'm sure those young men of yours are absolutely wonderful. It doesn't mean it's not hard for you. It's definitely hard.

28:57 I mean, and there are nine different types of muscular dystrophy, which is something people aren't that aware of unless they're usually a family member or they've been involved with people that have it. So people think muscular dystrophy and they think Jerry's kids and they think, you know, the shamrocks, which is all great. But you have to understand that they're not there's nine different types. And the two worst types that are one of the leading fatal diseases for pediatric death are Duchenne muscular dystrophy. And second to that is Becker. So my sons happen to have the leading Duchenne, which is just horrible. And just the other day was World Duchenne Awareness Day. So this kind of aligns with that message, just knowing that it is, it's incredibly difficult, but they're Is two ways to do this you've you've got to find the strength within yourself to understand that if your children are diagnosed with something like that You know, this is a tragedy for all of you but it's mostly tragic for them because this is their direct lives and Knowing that they're not going to get to see adulthood the way that we expect that they will is something that's very challenging for most parents and it was for me to But then I stepped back and I realized I got to be strong for my kids This isn't about me. It does hurt because I'm their mother, but I've got to be strong enough to carry this and to be able to handle this without falling apart at the seams at every turn, because it is that

30:29 kind of a disease and it does pull at your heartstrings like that. And you really have to sit back and go, who do I want to be in this and who do my children need from me? Let's wrap up with a couple of quick things. One is Do you have less fear of death now since you had this experience? I'm not out here looking for death just to be clear, but I am not afraid of death at all now What message do you have for somebody that may be afraid of death? How can you help calm their nerves about it a little bit? Well, it it doesn't hurt as much as I think that we feel that it might because of our fear of being separated from the body And I think when you come to understand that we are energy and that energy never dies, that that helps to bring some semblance of calm.

31:23 That's how I thought about it when my dad passed away. You know, it was incredibly difficult and he died from a horrible disease. I had to watch him go through dialysis for several years before he passed and I'm the oldest daughter. So I was the one that was mainly there. I had to reflect on my experience and really just tell myself, I kept saying, I don't know what I'm going to do when my dad dies. And I didn't. I didn't. I don't think any of us really do, but you just figure it out as you go. That's what life is about learning and finding the ways to gracefully deal with what comes at us. And just like everything else, every bad thing you get through that you get through, you got through it. So my message would be is don't fear death. and thinking that you can't get through it. Lots of us have. So I appreciate your time, appreciate your insights and the things that you've been through and the things that you're doing. So keep in touch. For sure, Eric. I appreciate your time as well. Thank you for having me. Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share your near -death experience, or if you have questions or comments about the show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com.

32:47 Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life, and the next.