"I Looked Into My Own Eyes" - Michael's NDE

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From the time that they pronounced me that was

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a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I

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could see people screaming and crying But I didn't

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realize that was actually my physical body because

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I was somewhere else The only thing that I could

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feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace

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there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

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greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back

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home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.

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I'd like to welcome our very special guest today,

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Michael Floorman, coming to us from Colorado.

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How are you, Michael? Very good. Glad to be here.

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Good. I tell you what, I love your shirt. I have

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one that's sort of similar to that. I love aloha

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shirts. Although today I'm dressed for something

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else because Will and I are going to be throwing

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three racks of ribs on the smoker here as soon

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as we're done with this interview. So. Wow. Is

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it a holiday? Is it a reason today? Friday? His

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wife's birthday is tomorrow and that's what she

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requested for dinner tonight for her birthday

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dinner. I'm just going back to work so I don't

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have anything that fun. I'm so sorry. Anyway.

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We'll be chasing the smoke much of the day today,

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but this is not about me and it's not about clothing

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It's about you Michael and your near -death experiences

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before we jump into them Would you let us get

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to know you just a little bit give give us a

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one minute on who's Michael? I'm 60 years old

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now. I work for a magazine publisher as a graphic

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designer I've been kind of sensitive to the other

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side In a weird way, I just knew there was something

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more than what you know or what you're being

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told. And I didn't really think that anybody

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else knew it. I was a musician. Well, I guess

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you still are, but I played in bands when I was

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younger. Yeah, that's about it. I mean, I'm a

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graphic designer right now and a magazine publisher,

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so. What kind of music are you famous for? It

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was all original, pretty much. I wrote most of

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them and it was kind of Def Leppard Van Halen

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-y, kind of that realm. You know, it was that

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level of rock. It wasn't like the metal hard

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or it wasn't soft. It was like right in the,

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you know, it was in the late 80s, 90s. So, you

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know, we matched everybody else. We had the huge

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hair and all that stuff. I know the genre before,

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quote, New Wave came in and ruined it. And you

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were fighting disco and all that kind of crazy

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stuff then. Yeah. In my first band, because we

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did an album when I was in high school. And my

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first band, um, that was, that came out in 83.

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And that was, yeah, you were fighting just all

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kinds of weird stuff back then. You know, it

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was, it was kind of different. And nowadays I

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think the era is completely different. It's self

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promotion, do your own thing. I mean, you can

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own your own studio. The world has changed as

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far as that goes. Yeah, it has, but rock and

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roll never dies, right? No, it does not. It just

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kind of altered and creates new genres. I'm not

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quite sure where to start because we chatted

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the other day and we talked about that you've

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actually died eight times and come back and three

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of those are considered NDEs. In other words

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you remember some kind of experience being out

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of body. You know I often wonder and I'm curious

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about your opinion on this before we jump into

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your experiences and that is I wonder if everybody

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who has a death type experience has some sort

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of heavenly experience. The majority just don't

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remember it because statistically it's roughly

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15 percent of people who have had a cardiac arrest

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can remember or have what we call an NDE. So

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what do you think about the other experiences

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that you don't remember in any part of? That

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was a part of my story that I struggled with

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because it didn't dawn on me. I didn't really

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look into this until It's about two years ago.

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I saw my first NDE video and then I just kind

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of Got completely addicted on the NDE video.

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I'm sorry. See I forgot the question. I'm sorry.

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Can you give it one more time? The question is

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do you have some kind of opinion on those that

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have had a cardiac arrest but don't remember

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anything, any kind of heavenly experience? Yeah,

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I don't know if there's a reason for that because

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I know that I know they told me that I had died

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eight times but I only remember three and that's

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when I was watching other ND videos And they,

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you know, had it all kind of in a sequence and

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mine was just bouncing all over the place. It's

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like I got out of body came back out of I had

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out of body in two different places or three

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different places and I couldn't I couldn't put

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that together. I mean, I just kept looking at

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it and I kept I meditated. I got a hypnotist

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to try to take me back and try to remember more.

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And that didn't work. I just can't get taken

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under. Yeah, that's that's pretty much, you know,

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what I did. Well, and one other thing I just

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wanted to alert our listeners of, that you let

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me know when we were speaking the other day,

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so I hope you don't mind me bringing it up. I

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don't know. It's obvious sometimes. Michael may

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lose his train of thought now and then, and that's

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something that is a symptomatic of... It's a

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holdover. It's a holdover of what he went through.

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So let's just give him some grace. And Michael,

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it's not going to bother us. Don't worry about

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it. But let's go back about a dozen years and

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let's talk about what was going on medically

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with you that led to these experiences. That

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day was just kind of another typical day. It

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was Friday. And I think we were going to go.

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My boss is going to take us out to lunch that

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day. So, you know, we had to put, you know, long

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pants or whatever it was. And so, yeah, I was

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headed to work that morning and I kept feeling

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like my ears and my jaw were like really It just

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felt tight and my jaw was almost locking. And

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so I couldn't figure that out. And then I was

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driving to work and I started feeling like lightheaded,

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like I'm going down. I looked around and decided

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I should get off the road before I take somebody

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out. And so I pulled over, called 911, which

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is so weird for me because I never go to the

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doctor, but I called 911. An ambulance was like

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a quarter of a mile behind us, or behind me.

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I pulled in, got out, they pulled up, got out.

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I walked over to the ambulance and they took

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me inside and I sat down. They started putting

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the stickers on you, you know, checking all your

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vitals. I heard the one paramedic say to the

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other paramedic that the back flow, I think it

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was back flow, is blocked. And right at that

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moment, I stopped breathing at that second. I

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heard back flows blocked, I stopped breathing,

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and then it was just like a blink of an eye.

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I was opposite the scene. So I was like I was

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probably about four or five feet from me and

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I could see they're you know moving a little

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quicker because the patient just said I felt

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weird just died on them but they were moving

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a little quicker. So what I remember at that

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point was that everything looked different. For

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some reason it didn't seem weird to see myself

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at that angle. I don't know why. But I remember

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looking at my body and I could see that I was

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kind of sitting in the chair and I was like my

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head was tilted because they hadn't laid me down.

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I was kind of sitting in a chair. My head was

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tilted and my eyes were fixed. And so I kind

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of I don't know why I took it upon myself to

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look into my eyes because my dad had died years

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before that and it was at hospice at home and

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we were waiting for the hospice people to come

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and get him. And I remember seeing him and his

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eyes were open after he died. And there was nothing

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in, no spark, no life. There's a certain kind

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of light that you can just see in an eye. And

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there was nothing there. And so I actually got

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to get close to myself. and look into my eyes

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and yeah, it was just dead. I didn't think that

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would affect me as bad as it has. Coming back,

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I mean, seeing a person, you know, a body dead

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is one thing, but seeing yourself, you know,

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when you look in the mirror, I can still remember

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what they look like without it. Wow. That is

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so freaky. I've never had anyone tell me that,

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that they looked in their own eyes. Whoa. What

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did that feel like? For some reason, I felt it

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was necessary. I just looked. I looked at it

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and I don't even know that I knew I was dead

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or what was going on. It was just this thing

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was happening to me and I was just kind of accepting

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it, you know, for what it was. I didn't know.

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I had no idea. Is this death? Is this? Is that?

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I had no idea what it was, but for some reason

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I just played along and yeah, I did take the

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time to look into my own eyes and I was probably

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about five feet away from it, but I did get within

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a foot just to kind of see. And then the next

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thing I remember is leaving that scene. And again,

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everything is like a blink because I think people

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think that there's a black void or there's like

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a blackness or you go to blackness, then you

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come in. I mean, it's as fast as blink and then

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you're out. Not a, you know, a period where you

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feel it building up. And so from there, it was

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a blink. And I was going through this field and

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it was like a stream down the middle of the road

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or the field. and there were stones and trees

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and I mean it looked just like a valley with

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mountains in the end and we started going down

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and you could tell I was going like really fast

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but there was no wind I was no there was no like

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like pushing against you and there was no jarring

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of movement it was just amazingly quick that

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you could just go down there and I remember stopping

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at one point of the stream there was a tree and

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a plant like a flower I don't even know if it

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might have been a weed but I was standing next

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to it And I asked, there was somebody was with

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me. I could tell somebody was with me. And I

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asked whoever this was, how do I know if I'm

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real? And the voice said, if you can touch it.

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I remember hearing if you can touch it. And so

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I did try to touch it and my hand went right

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through it. That was kind of weird. And then

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we started moving again, came close to the mountains

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and then went straight up. It was just like a

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projectory. to go straight up and I didn't I

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don't remember there being a tunnel or any of

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that kind of stuff but I do remember ending up

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in just a total dark place I mean it was just

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it was dark I've heard people call it the void

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I call it the void because there's nothing else

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really to call it it seems scary to you know

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be whisked away to a dark area but it was anything

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but and I think that to me and I know everybody

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else has opinions on what the void is but to

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me the void is Kind of an unpacking zone when

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you leave this is my own opinion, but when I

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think when when you leave your body You're a

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little disoriented and I think the void to me

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This is my opinion the void seems to be that

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unpack area that period because it was in the

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void that I could feel a lot of You know the

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love I mean the love I'm sure you've heard is

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I made the acceptance is wild too. I mean the

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feeling of acceptance I don't even know how you

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get a feeling of acceptance, but you get it It's

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just amazing the feeling that that the other

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side has I mean It's nothing that you could ever

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replicate and I've had OCD and all kinds of anxiety

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disorders and you know, you name it I've had

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it and I the voice also said to me within the

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void said try to have Try to have OCD try to

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have any anxiety none of it and I actually tried

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but I couldn't you couldn't do it and When he

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said that you, you know try to have anxiety When

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I tried, it was at that point I realized how

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much we leave in our body. I mean, our body holds

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so much weight in, you know, literal terms, but

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everything that goes with it, I mean, your anxiety,

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everything is packed within your body. You know,

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all of the issues that you have, or the I'm a

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little this way, I'm a little that way, all is

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packed in your body. So when you leave, it's

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a weird feeling of just release. And that was

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Probably one of the coolest things was that feeling

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of not having these issues that I've had for

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60 years or 48 at the time. And I've heard the

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void called velvety soft, but I didn't get a

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feel from it. But I definitely got an expansion.

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You can feel when you leave your body, it's like

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your body runs a 220 volt or whatever house.

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voltages, I'm sure they're gonna nail me that

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one. But once you leave your body, you become

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a part of the grid. And so when you leave, you

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go from, you know, this you're only using so

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much part of yourself that when you leave, the

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expansion is amazing. I mean, you really feel

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like you're a part and you I think you are a

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part of everything. I just felt one with everything

00:13:28.899 --> 00:13:31.059
that was it was there. I mean, I've never felt

00:13:31.059 --> 00:13:34.840
that comfortable at home. And it seems so it's

00:13:34.840 --> 00:13:38.429
like I remembered it. in a weird way. It seemed

00:13:38.429 --> 00:13:41.110
familiar to me. Even a few of the entities, which

00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:44.090
I didn't get names, you couldn't really see them.

00:13:45.370 --> 00:13:49.990
Yeah, you could definitely tell who was who and

00:13:49.990 --> 00:13:53.730
what was what. The void was definitely one of

00:13:53.730 --> 00:13:55.789
the darkest, but that's where you get all the

00:13:55.789 --> 00:13:58.269
feelings. To me, that's where I got all the feelings

00:13:58.269 --> 00:14:01.490
of that immense love and that stuff that everybody

00:14:01.490 --> 00:14:05.029
talks about. Okay, I want to bookmark this spot

00:14:05.029 --> 00:14:08.570
right here and before we move on I I want a little

00:14:08.570 --> 00:14:11.129
bit more detail on some of the things that happened

00:14:11.129 --> 00:14:14.309
earlier on that you Mentioned just so casually

00:14:14.309 --> 00:14:18.029
and passed over I I'd love to hear more detail

00:14:18.029 --> 00:14:21.950
if you have any About the stream and you mentioned

00:14:21.950 --> 00:14:26.649
going up a mountain paint a picture for us Okay,

00:14:26.690 --> 00:14:28.889
if I go into detail I had one of these podcasts

00:14:28.889 --> 00:14:30.429
we looked up and I had been on there for three

00:14:30.429 --> 00:14:32.690
hours. I'm like, okay, that's Oh, we're not going

00:14:32.690 --> 00:14:36.990
that long. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, do you want me

00:14:36.990 --> 00:14:39.809
to just start it over? I mean, no, no, just fill

00:14:39.809 --> 00:14:43.370
in some blanks. You mentioned like your first

00:14:43.370 --> 00:14:45.870
stop, you saw a stream and what else did you

00:14:45.870 --> 00:14:49.070
see there? Well, at the first stop, yeah, it

00:14:49.070 --> 00:14:51.389
was going we were going down. I always say we

00:14:51.389 --> 00:14:53.750
because I never feel like I'm alone. I've always

00:14:53.750 --> 00:14:57.070
said we for some reason. And that's another issue

00:14:57.070 --> 00:14:59.409
with mine. But because I always have this feeling

00:14:59.409 --> 00:15:02.519
of somebody around me. always. But yeah, we're

00:15:02.519 --> 00:15:05.519
just going down, I was going down this valley

00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:08.220
and what was strange about it is that's when

00:15:08.220 --> 00:15:11.639
I noticed the difference in how your eyes perceive.

00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:15.679
It's completely different. It's hard to describe.

00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:20.019
I mean, your eyes are seeing, your human eyes

00:15:20.019 --> 00:15:21.970
are very limited. You know, they can only see

00:15:21.970 --> 00:15:23.929
this much and they can only see this level of

00:15:23.929 --> 00:15:26.389
light and this level of hearing. And I mean,

00:15:26.490 --> 00:15:28.169
everything that the body can handle. But when

00:15:28.169 --> 00:15:31.250
you leave there, I mean, your eyesight is just

00:15:31.250 --> 00:15:33.409
amazing. I mean, the things that you can see,

00:15:33.529 --> 00:15:37.070
you can feel the things around you. I remember

00:15:37.070 --> 00:15:40.950
being next to that stream after I touched that

00:15:40.950 --> 00:15:43.129
that tried to touch that plant or that flower.

00:15:43.470 --> 00:15:46.710
You could just see that all of the grass, it

00:15:46.710 --> 00:15:49.070
almost like it looked like it was lit within.

00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:51.159
And it wasn't, it was still light out, but you

00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:53.779
could see, at least in the scene, you could see

00:15:53.779 --> 00:15:55.600
that everything kind of had a pulse. You could

00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:58.100
almost see the pulse of the things that were

00:15:58.100 --> 00:16:00.500
there. I mean, the water looked like water, but

00:16:00.500 --> 00:16:04.240
it had a different, it was bluer. I don't know,

00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:06.580
it's hard to describe, but it was a lot bluer.

00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:09.299
It's just everything, even, I even, there was

00:16:09.299 --> 00:16:13.100
a few animals within that scene that I saw that

00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:16.240
actually instead of running, you know away or

00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:18.519
being scared they kind of tended to it seemed

00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:21.000
like they were like they could see me you know

00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:23.019
which i thought was just weird i mean because

00:16:23.019 --> 00:16:24.740
usually if an animal can see you they take off

00:16:24.740 --> 00:16:27.580
but these i it looked like they could see me

00:16:27.580 --> 00:16:29.240
but they weren't taking off they were almost

00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:32.840
getting closer i've heard that animals can connect

00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:35.139
or can see things that humans cancel it could

00:16:35.139 --> 00:16:38.860
be what that was but the going up from from that

00:16:38.860 --> 00:16:41.740
area and going straight up it was like it was

00:16:41.740 --> 00:16:43.820
like i was going toward the mountains then it

00:16:43.820 --> 00:16:46.139
just pivoted and I just went straight up and

00:16:46.139 --> 00:16:48.259
I could see all I could see was like the blue

00:16:48.259 --> 00:16:49.779
sky because I wasn't looking around I didn't

00:16:49.779 --> 00:16:52.539
get the tunnel but I saw the blue sky turn dark

00:16:52.539 --> 00:16:59.299
and that's when I was in the void and it's just

00:16:59.299 --> 00:17:02.039
I mean it is it is a very it's it's the most

00:17:02.039 --> 00:17:05.700
calming thing that I've ever witnessed yeah it's

00:17:05.700 --> 00:17:07.140
so hard to describe because I've heard other

00:17:07.140 --> 00:17:08.980
people try to describe the feeling that you have

00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:11.420
over there and it's impossible Like when I wrote

00:17:11.420 --> 00:17:14.480
my book, I had to come up with terms that made

00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.920
sense because, you know, heaven didn't work for

00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:20.259
me anymore. I needed something different. So

00:17:20.259 --> 00:17:21.900
source is what I call that. The void is what

00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:25.019
I call this. But after the void, I remember being

00:17:25.019 --> 00:17:27.740
in the void and you could see just on the outskirts,

00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:30.779
there was just little hints of light that came

00:17:30.779 --> 00:17:34.660
up closer. As they got closer, you could see

00:17:34.660 --> 00:17:37.319
like, I wouldn't call it a screen. And it was

00:17:37.319 --> 00:17:40.609
weird that I saw like a viewing area. But I didn't

00:17:40.609 --> 00:17:43.369
use the viewing area. I mean, I saw the viewing

00:17:43.369 --> 00:17:46.269
area. And then the next thing I know is they

00:17:46.269 --> 00:17:49.349
were it's heard it called the life lesson. And

00:17:49.349 --> 00:17:52.490
so that's when basically go over everything,

00:17:52.630 --> 00:17:55.069
you know, the way that you were with people and

00:17:55.069 --> 00:17:57.410
the way they reacted to you, you kind of get

00:17:57.410 --> 00:18:01.650
to see both sides of that. We usually call that

00:18:01.650 --> 00:18:04.089
a life review. Did you feel like you were reviewing

00:18:04.089 --> 00:18:06.789
back over things that happened? Yeah, I was reviewing.

00:18:06.990 --> 00:18:09.450
It was weird because I was what the review was.

00:18:09.690 --> 00:18:11.690
It wasn't that I was watching it. It was more

00:18:11.690 --> 00:18:14.769
like I was like an extra on a set because I mean,

00:18:14.849 --> 00:18:17.069
the one person's here. One's here. I'm here and

00:18:17.069 --> 00:18:19.170
I'm just watching it like I'm the third person

00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:21.849
in the room. It wasn't it. It wasn't like a playback.

00:18:22.029 --> 00:18:25.329
It was like a real time. I didn't get to see

00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:27.809
my side of the lesson review, but I got to see

00:18:27.809 --> 00:18:30.849
theirs. I just heard it, but I got to see their

00:18:30.849 --> 00:18:33.549
reaction and you get to feel their reaction.

00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:35.789
And I didn't have anything that was negative

00:18:35.789 --> 00:18:39.230
to me, but I did have it when I was probably

00:18:39.230 --> 00:18:42.410
about, how old was I, like nine? I was at school

00:18:42.410 --> 00:18:44.609
and I went into the bathroom and somebody had,

00:18:44.730 --> 00:18:48.390
some kids had taken this kid's clothes and taken

00:18:48.390 --> 00:18:50.569
off with his clothes. So there's this kid screaming,

00:18:50.970 --> 00:18:53.869
crying, naked in the bathroom. I went in there

00:18:53.869 --> 00:18:55.670
and that was the first thing I saw. It was just,

00:18:55.730 --> 00:18:57.710
wow, you know, so I went and got a teacher, brought

00:18:57.710 --> 00:19:01.009
them in. But what was significant, and I don't

00:19:01.009 --> 00:19:04.109
even know why this came to me on my life lesson,

00:19:04.569 --> 00:19:09.009
but it showed me how long it took for him to

00:19:09.009 --> 00:19:12.009
just get over that. I got to see the embarrassment

00:19:12.009 --> 00:19:15.170
with his family and having to face people in

00:19:15.170 --> 00:19:17.349
all the days of school. And I mean, I got to

00:19:17.349 --> 00:19:21.180
see how deeply that affected his, you know, I

00:19:21.180 --> 00:19:24.059
kind of followed his path a little bit and got

00:19:24.059 --> 00:19:27.160
to see what that did to him. And I mean, I've

00:19:27.160 --> 00:19:30.660
always been way against bullying, but I mean,

00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:33.880
that has killed it. And what's weird is that

00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:36.240
when that life lesson happened, I do remember

00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:38.500
that vividly. And it was just strange that that

00:19:38.500 --> 00:19:40.559
is the one thing that seemed to stuck out the

00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:42.099
most was something that I wasn't really even

00:19:42.099 --> 00:19:46.849
a part of. Oh, thank goodness. Yeah, I do believe

00:19:46.849 --> 00:19:48.470
life lessons, and this is the thing about the

00:19:48.470 --> 00:19:50.329
life lessons, and this is what I always think

00:19:50.329 --> 00:19:53.430
I want to tell people, because how you treat

00:19:53.430 --> 00:19:57.430
people is so important, and their reaction, how

00:19:57.430 --> 00:20:00.930
you make people feel is so important. And I think

00:20:00.930 --> 00:20:04.069
that a lot of people, you know, really, if they

00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:07.089
knew, and it's not what, you wouldn't call it

00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:09.210
judgment. I mean, everybody else calls it judgment,

00:20:09.289 --> 00:20:11.289
and you're not being judged, you're the judge.

00:20:11.630 --> 00:20:14.430
The thing that I think is weird is that I'm watching

00:20:14.430 --> 00:20:17.349
that from the purest self of me. I'm not ego.

00:20:17.609 --> 00:20:21.670
I'm nothing. I am just energy. So I'm witnessing

00:20:21.670 --> 00:20:24.049
that from an energy standpoint. So when you're

00:20:24.049 --> 00:20:26.690
hearing life lessons and you say, okay, this

00:20:26.690 --> 00:20:28.509
is what was done and this is their reaction.

00:20:29.169 --> 00:20:31.069
A lot of people and I've heard people tell me

00:20:31.069 --> 00:20:32.609
it's like, well, yeah, when I get there though,

00:20:32.609 --> 00:20:34.869
there's a reason I'm not going to flinch because

00:20:34.869 --> 00:20:36.950
of that because they were this way to me. And

00:20:36.950 --> 00:20:39.470
so I was that way to them. But when you go to

00:20:39.470 --> 00:20:41.309
the life review, you're in the purest sense.

00:20:41.329 --> 00:20:43.950
You don't have that ego. You don't have that.

00:20:44.190 --> 00:20:46.930
You don't have the reason. You just get to witness

00:20:46.930 --> 00:20:50.309
the outcome. And so to me, if you were a bad

00:20:50.309 --> 00:20:53.869
person on earth and then you died and you had

00:20:53.869 --> 00:20:58.750
to witness everything that you did from an egoless

00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:02.680
pure standpoint and not knowing, not being able

00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:05.700
to feel the feelings and irritation and everything

00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:09.019
that made you say what you said. That seeing,

00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:12.099
you know, the way that maybe people have pulled

00:21:12.099 --> 00:21:15.700
away from you the way you are, it's, it's amazingly

00:21:15.700 --> 00:21:19.400
eye opening. I mean, I just, I had always heard

00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:21.380
that, you know, you're gonna have your life flash

00:21:21.380 --> 00:21:23.460
before your eyes, but I had no idea it would

00:21:23.460 --> 00:21:25.640
be like that. What's weird is when it happened,

00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:28.240
it didn't even feel like I was learning anything.

00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:30.759
It didn't feel like I was meant to learn anything.

00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:32.980
I mean, it was just, I think it was just a review

00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:37.480
and I was to do with it, whatever I felt. That's

00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:42.180
the take I got. So in that void, you mentioned

00:21:42.180 --> 00:21:45.819
feeling acceptance and love. Can you explain

00:21:45.819 --> 00:21:48.319
that any further? What all you were feeling?

00:21:49.660 --> 00:21:53.099
It's, it's kind of like, I remember I have a,

00:21:53.099 --> 00:21:54.880
there's this weight thing. I mean, I think of

00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:58.740
the body as being so weighed down. So much of

00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:01.420
your emotions is weighed within your body that

00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:06.079
it's the amount of just freedom that you feel

00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:09.259
when you're out of this. That was just the amazing

00:22:09.259 --> 00:22:11.720
part. And then just the knowledge. I mean, you

00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:14.440
just, everything was coming at me at once. I

00:22:14.440 --> 00:22:17.240
mean, I could see the answers to any questions.

00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:21.119
And I remember talking telepathically. with who

00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:24.420
i was with and it seemed like such a real normal

00:22:24.420 --> 00:22:26.779
language i mean because i i remember hearing

00:22:26.779 --> 00:22:30.000
things but i was hearing it in my head in a voice

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:32.240
that i had heard before well i didn't have a

00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:34.339
head but i mean it was you're hearing it in your

00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:37.240
in your conscious as you know as you've heard

00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:41.619
other things before and who was with you I don't

00:22:41.619 --> 00:22:43.440
know who was with me. I know there was at least

00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:45.460
one. Since I've been growing up, I've always

00:22:45.460 --> 00:22:48.700
had the feeling that I've had some, like a guardian

00:22:48.700 --> 00:22:51.619
angel with me. And I've always felt like I have

00:22:51.619 --> 00:22:54.359
people around me, like spirits around me. I think

00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:58.180
that it was actually my guardian angel, which

00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:00.119
again, I'm still trying to figure out if it's

00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:03.160
me or not. It could have been me, the higher

00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:08.640
self of me doing it, or I don't really know for

00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:10.869
sure. I mean, that's, that's a thing that's always

00:23:10.869 --> 00:23:14.430
kind of weird. Yeah. All right. What do you remember

00:23:14.430 --> 00:23:17.670
that happened next after the void and the life

00:23:17.670 --> 00:23:20.210
lessons? I love that term, by the way, because

00:23:20.210 --> 00:23:22.650
we are supposed to learn from that life review.

00:23:23.430 --> 00:23:25.789
Okay. What happened next? But I remember next

00:23:25.789 --> 00:23:28.789
after the life review, I remember it was weird

00:23:28.789 --> 00:23:31.710
because like a floor almost appeared kind of,

00:23:31.730 --> 00:23:34.890
it just kind of came into focus and then a wall,

00:23:35.049 --> 00:23:37.690
a white wall came. up and over as far as you

00:23:37.690 --> 00:23:39.549
could see and there were just books like white

00:23:39.549 --> 00:23:41.089
with gold writing and they all kind of looked

00:23:41.089 --> 00:23:44.390
the same and I remember a book coming down to

00:23:44.390 --> 00:23:47.730
me and just as we were starting to look at it

00:23:47.730 --> 00:23:50.089
and I had no idea what this was I mean I'm just

00:23:50.089 --> 00:23:52.650
step number whatever's next and as soon as they

00:23:52.650 --> 00:23:56.549
opened that book I heard the word clear and boom

00:23:56.549 --> 00:24:00.609
I had that defibrillator shock that it was weird

00:24:00.609 --> 00:24:03.049
that I heard the word clear and I felt every

00:24:03.049 --> 00:24:06.440
volt of that shock. It felt like I was slammed

00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:09.000
so hard that if you grab somebody and you slam

00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:11.000
them against the metal door, like a warehouse

00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:14.700
door, that sound of that's what it just sounded

00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:18.299
so abrupt. I mean, that's as far as I got. I

00:24:18.299 --> 00:24:20.799
remember seeing the book came down and they opened

00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:24.440
it and clear everything clear and then boom.

00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:29.480
And it was, it was, it was bad. So you were experiencing.

00:24:30.059 --> 00:24:32.559
Things from the other side from being out of

00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:35.279
your body and then all of a sudden heard something

00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:39.640
from the physical side, correct? Okay, and I

00:24:39.640 --> 00:24:42.279
think it's I think it's hilarious that you use

00:24:42.279 --> 00:24:46.079
the term slammed because that is the one That

00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:48.839
I hear the very most about people coming back

00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:52.180
into their bodies It is not a soft gentle kind

00:24:52.180 --> 00:24:56.119
of thing. Usually it's a BAM harsh and it happened

00:24:56.119 --> 00:24:59.079
to me a couple times that way. What's weird is

00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:01.859
that I don't know why I felt the shock. If I'm

00:25:01.859 --> 00:25:05.119
truly still out, when they said clear, boom,

00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:09.099
I felt that. And through my eight deaths, I never

00:25:09.099 --> 00:25:12.359
woke up once. So all of these deaths are intertwined.

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:15.240
So from there, I died, I came back, but I never

00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:18.319
woke up. And then the next thing I remember,

00:25:18.500 --> 00:25:22.019
boom, once again, I'm out. But this time instead

00:25:22.019 --> 00:25:24.920
of looking at myself head -on It was like my

00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:27.279
head I was facing the other direction and I was

00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:30.920
behind my body and I was above the ambulance

00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:32.660
But when you're when you're like that, I mean

00:25:32.660 --> 00:25:34.759
your eyesight you can see through metal It doesn't

00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:36.960
it's like it's not there So I'm like 20 feet

00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:38.940
above the ambulance just watching them work on

00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:40.839
me and I've seen that another ambulance drove

00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:43.039
up in a fire truck So I was two ambulances a

00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:45.839
fire truck and there's like five people inside

00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:48.019
The ambulance trying to work on me and there

00:25:48.019 --> 00:25:50.480
were a couple standing in the parking lot And

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.799
I heard one of the people say this is turning

00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:56.000
into a clown car, you know, because of the bumping

00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:58.039
into each other. And I was just watching the

00:25:58.039 --> 00:26:00.940
rustling and all this stuff. The next thing I

00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:03.339
know, I blinked. This time it was weird because

00:26:03.339 --> 00:26:07.619
this time I looked down instead of up when I

00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:11.160
when I left. So what I saw was the shrinking.

00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:13.799
It was like, you know, if you were seeing like

00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:15.599
a rocket ship from the rocket's point of view,

00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.440
how they show those views. But it was like I

00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:20.819
could see back and I could see like silver it

00:26:20.819 --> 00:26:23.079
looked like silver sparks twirling a little bit

00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:25.319
for some reason it almost looked like a Like

00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:28.299
I was leaving a wake Going through and so I look

00:26:28.299 --> 00:26:30.779
back and I could see the ambulance the state

00:26:30.779 --> 00:26:32.680
the country the world and you could see the curve

00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:35.059
of the earth that's why I put that curve on the

00:26:35.059 --> 00:26:37.640
cover of the book that was the vision that I

00:26:37.640 --> 00:26:41.279
remember seeing is that curve of the earth and

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:44.579
That one didn't last very long I basically got

00:26:44.579 --> 00:26:46.880
up to the void and got up there and then I heard

00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:51.920
clear again and I was slammed back in. At that

00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:54.920
time it seemed even more harsh. That one it didn't

00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:57.000
feel, I don't know, it didn't feel like I made

00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.099
it in, if that makes sense. Although still I

00:27:00.099 --> 00:27:02.759
am unconscious, so this is all still happening

00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:07.180
within one big long dream sequence. But after

00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.619
I was back in my body that time, and I didn't

00:27:09.619 --> 00:27:11.559
really get that far, it seemed like I got out

00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:13.980
and kind of went back in. Then the next time

00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:16.720
was in the emergency room. I remember just like

00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:18.339
raising up. I couldn't even tell where I raised

00:27:18.339 --> 00:27:21.160
from, but I raised up and you could see the delivery

00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:24.279
room and it was a three corners and a round wall,

00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:26.579
which I don't know why that stuck in my head

00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:29.480
and that I could see my doctor working on me,

00:27:29.480 --> 00:27:33.440
the body. He had a bald head and so I kind of

00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:36.369
saw that and I remember pulling out of that scene

00:27:36.369 --> 00:27:39.549
and these are just memories and I hope to get

00:27:39.549 --> 00:27:41.410
more of this through hypnosis or whatever because

00:27:41.410 --> 00:27:43.589
I know there's more to this I just I think I

00:27:43.589 --> 00:27:45.289
came back with a little bit of damage because

00:27:45.289 --> 00:27:47.529
of the 20 minutes without oxygen they said I

00:27:47.529 --> 00:27:50.410
would I just think that with that much trauma

00:27:50.410 --> 00:27:53.369
and the damage I've had a hard time piecing everything

00:27:53.369 --> 00:27:56.210
together and getting the full story but I do

00:27:56.210 --> 00:27:59.710
remember getting out in the hospital I went down

00:27:59.880 --> 00:28:03.779
a few halls, and I did see people in my similar

00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:05.880
situation, so you could see people like there

00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:09.400
were spirits in the hospital, and you would get

00:28:09.400 --> 00:28:11.799
their eye contact, but you could tell them from

00:28:11.799 --> 00:28:15.299
the regular people through your eyes, they just

00:28:15.299 --> 00:28:17.579
looked different. I don't know, that's weird,

00:28:17.779 --> 00:28:20.619
but they look different when you are out of your

00:28:20.619 --> 00:28:22.619
body, and then they look different when you're

00:28:22.619 --> 00:28:25.339
in your body when you see them. In what way?

00:28:25.710 --> 00:28:28.210
When you're out of body everything looks weird.

00:28:28.210 --> 00:28:32.230
I mean everything is so Clear and so vibrant

00:28:32.230 --> 00:28:34.809
and so bright and so it almost seems like it's

00:28:34.809 --> 00:28:39.730
for you only you That was kind of the feeling

00:28:39.730 --> 00:28:43.849
of some of that. I'm sorry. I got lost again

00:28:43.849 --> 00:28:47.630
I had asked you in what way did these spirits

00:28:47.630 --> 00:28:50.990
look different when you were in that form? Yeah,

00:28:50.990 --> 00:28:53.789
I would say that they looked they looked pulsing

00:28:54.029 --> 00:28:56.990
I guess probably yet. They looked more lit and

00:28:56.990 --> 00:29:01.609
pulsing when I was in their same situation as

00:29:01.609 --> 00:29:05.230
they did when I saw the same thing outside of

00:29:05.230 --> 00:29:08.029
death. What happened was I went through the hallways

00:29:08.029 --> 00:29:09.569
and I remember seeing a couple different people.

00:29:09.569 --> 00:29:12.349
I went into the waiting room where my family

00:29:12.349 --> 00:29:14.869
was, my kids and my mom. They were all in there

00:29:14.869 --> 00:29:19.009
really upset. And that is really pretty much

00:29:19.009 --> 00:29:22.059
the only thing that I can remember so far. From

00:29:22.059 --> 00:29:25.359
the actual death part itself. I want to get more

00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:27.079
of it because I know there's got to be more they

00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:31.039
they estimated me at 20 20 minutes without oxygen

00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:34.220
which is Quite a bit, but I think it was if you

00:29:34.220 --> 00:29:36.319
look I put it in the book I put kind of a breakdown

00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:38.559
of what happened There was a couple times where

00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:40.119
I was gone longer and I don't even know if that

00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:41.700
matters because when you're on the other side

00:29:41.700 --> 00:29:43.660
There's no time. I mean you can tell there's

00:29:43.660 --> 00:29:47.279
no time. It's just everything is there I remember

00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:49.569
being on the other side at one point And I think

00:29:49.569 --> 00:29:51.589
it might have been the second time when I went

00:29:51.589 --> 00:29:55.869
up that, you know, being musical in my history

00:29:55.869 --> 00:29:59.609
is when I got out of the void and things were

00:29:59.609 --> 00:30:01.990
starting to fill in as far as color wise goes.

00:30:02.329 --> 00:30:05.789
I remember seeing a D, like a large D, like popped

00:30:05.789 --> 00:30:07.690
out and was coming toward me. And it was the

00:30:07.690 --> 00:30:09.769
note D because it had the little music thing

00:30:09.769 --> 00:30:11.250
on there. I mean, I guess they were trying to

00:30:11.250 --> 00:30:14.230
sell me on the note. But when it came closer,

00:30:14.269 --> 00:30:17.430
it started to break apart. And then I broke apart.

00:30:17.990 --> 00:30:19.890
It was strange because I broke apart, it broke

00:30:19.890 --> 00:30:22.490
apart, and I actually got to become the note.

00:30:22.650 --> 00:30:24.730
It was like you could feel it, you were a part

00:30:24.730 --> 00:30:26.529
of it. And I think that's the thing that is hard

00:30:26.529 --> 00:30:28.289
to describe about the other side. It's not you're

00:30:28.289 --> 00:30:31.089
not watching it, you're part of it. People will

00:30:31.089 --> 00:30:33.809
always say, what was it like? Did it look this

00:30:33.809 --> 00:30:37.630
way? You're just, that's the only way to describe

00:30:37.630 --> 00:30:40.839
it, really. All right. In a minute, we're going

00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:44.319
to be talking about the long emotional, what

00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:46.700
would we call it, journey back from this because

00:30:46.700 --> 00:30:49.539
it was pretty tough. But physically, what was

00:30:49.539 --> 00:30:52.579
it like? What was your diagnosis and what did

00:30:52.579 --> 00:30:55.900
it take to get better? Physically, the diagnosis,

00:30:55.980 --> 00:30:57.720
I don't remember. And it's weird because everybody

00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:00.180
else who has died, I've watched these NDEs, they

00:31:00.180 --> 00:31:02.920
all can rattle off what they died. You know,

00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:05.140
big long words you've never heard of. I don't

00:31:05.140 --> 00:31:08.500
know. It's in the book and I know what happened.

00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:11.460
I guess there's a back valve and it's not the

00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:13.339
worst of the worst. It's not like what they call

00:31:13.339 --> 00:31:16.099
a widow maker and you know, it's another valve

00:31:16.099 --> 00:31:18.119
and they said it was kind of through hypertension.

00:31:18.859 --> 00:31:21.900
That's why it happened. But when I woke up, I

00:31:21.900 --> 00:31:24.079
remember waking up in the ICU and that was a

00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:26.519
weird thing because when I woke up, they had

00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:28.759
the tube down your throat that they put in, you

00:31:28.759 --> 00:31:32.000
know, and that felt like a garden hose. I'm claustrophobic

00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:34.000
and that really fed into that claustrophobia

00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.279
feeling for some reason. And I remember waking

00:31:36.279 --> 00:31:38.339
up and I just felt like I couldn't breathe. And

00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:41.599
I reached for the hose and a nurse grabbed my

00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:43.779
hand and then some other nurse grabbed my other

00:31:43.779 --> 00:31:47.019
arm so they tied me down. And so I was tied down.

00:31:47.180 --> 00:31:49.380
That's not good for a weirdo like me. So I'm

00:31:49.380 --> 00:31:51.779
just kind of freaking out. I can't breathe. My

00:31:51.779 --> 00:31:53.460
wife at the time was telling me, just, you know,

00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:56.460
calm down. I mean, yeah, calm down. Yeah, calm

00:31:56.460 --> 00:31:59.019
down. If you're dying in front of everybody drowning

00:31:59.019 --> 00:32:01.579
in an inch of water, it felt like. And what was

00:32:01.579 --> 00:32:03.720
weird about the ICU is that it didn't look like

00:32:03.720 --> 00:32:06.460
a room. It looked like a cave. it was like the

00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:10.119
walls were the walls appeared like like rock

00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:12.359
walls and the the lighting was kind of like if

00:32:12.359 --> 00:32:15.420
there were like torches in there and i i can

00:32:15.420 --> 00:32:17.880
never figure out and it seemed like i was laying

00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:22.259
in a bed and people were walking by but i know

00:32:22.259 --> 00:32:24.319
that we i only had visitors that came in you

00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:25.960
know you're an icu so they don't have that many

00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:28.299
people in but they would come in and i remember

00:32:28.299 --> 00:32:31.359
seeing people there but always around them was

00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:35.890
this scene of This weird cave thing and I've

00:32:35.890 --> 00:32:37.289
never been able to figure out nobody's really

00:32:37.289 --> 00:32:41.069
had any Opinion about why I mean, I'm not gone

00:32:41.069 --> 00:32:44.049
anymore. I'm back Well, I guess you could say

00:32:44.049 --> 00:32:46.549
half back, you know, because I think when you're

00:32:46.549 --> 00:32:48.950
first back you're not back I mean you're back,

00:32:48.970 --> 00:32:51.410
but you're a little in a little out and that

00:32:51.410 --> 00:32:53.849
could be a reason for it But I just don't know

00:32:53.849 --> 00:32:55.630
what the cave because I mean that's when I was

00:32:55.630 --> 00:32:57.809
back in my body My own eyes are open. I'm looking

00:32:57.809 --> 00:33:01.660
at things and it still looked that way So that

00:33:01.660 --> 00:33:03.279
seemed weird to me and then of course, you know

00:33:03.279 --> 00:33:04.859
when that when you're an ICU and you're waking

00:33:04.859 --> 00:33:06.940
up you're in you're out people coming by you

00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:09.480
don't really You're not paying attention and

00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:11.779
then the next thing I knew I woke up in the actual

00:33:11.779 --> 00:33:14.019
like recovery room They put me in a different

00:33:14.019 --> 00:33:16.420
room, you know I was supposed to be in the hospital

00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:18.420
for they said three weeks and I think I was in

00:33:18.420 --> 00:33:21.200
there for four days Because I couldn't take it.

00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:23.579
I was just like I can't I gotta get out and I

00:33:23.579 --> 00:33:26.640
had just gotten a job I'd got laid off two years

00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:29.160
prior and it was in that bad economy and I was

00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:30.500
having a hard time. Finally, I've been looking

00:33:30.500 --> 00:33:32.759
for all this time. Finally found a job. Three

00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:35.420
months later, I died. And all I'm thinking of

00:33:35.420 --> 00:33:38.539
is I just got this job and I needed to get back.

00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:41.579
So I didn't allow myself any recovery time. So

00:33:41.579 --> 00:33:45.559
yeah, it was 10 days. I went home. I had two

00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:48.660
cracked ribs, I think, and burn marks on my chest.

00:33:48.759 --> 00:33:50.759
I mean, like real good burn marks. Some of those,

00:33:50.859 --> 00:33:52.619
some were like the perfect square of the paddle.

00:33:53.259 --> 00:33:56.920
You know and then I had bit my tongue Every time

00:33:56.920 --> 00:33:59.339
they shocked me and I think they if right they

00:33:59.339 --> 00:34:02.059
shocked me like 13 times or something So my tongue

00:34:02.059 --> 00:34:05.740
was like that thick so I couldn't talk I almost

00:34:05.740 --> 00:34:09.099
like a get out was like I You couldn't even understand

00:34:09.099 --> 00:34:11.380
it. So if the first couple days I was kind of

00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:14.119
like Yeah, you just nobody could hear what I

00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:15.679
was saying I was just having to write things

00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:18.960
down and it was due to the Chomping on my tongue.

00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:21.840
I mean that hurt And the ribs, the ribs were

00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:24.159
intense. I mean, I get it. I'm happy that they

00:34:24.159 --> 00:34:26.239
did that. But man, they beat me up to get me

00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:29.500
back. But I mean, you you felt all of that in

00:34:29.500 --> 00:34:33.340
that room. Well, and and when people do CPR with

00:34:33.340 --> 00:34:35.920
chest compression, same thing. It can break ribs

00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:38.699
and and things that can be rough. All right.

00:34:38.880 --> 00:34:41.039
Thank you. Thank you for sharing all of that.

00:34:41.619 --> 00:34:44.000
I want to move on to the next thing that we're

00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:45.780
going to talk about, because it doesn't get talked

00:34:45.780 --> 00:34:49.789
about enough. And that is that for a lot of people

00:34:49.789 --> 00:34:52.769
after an experience like this, they come back

00:34:52.769 --> 00:34:55.630
and it's very difficult integrating back into

00:34:55.630 --> 00:35:00.489
regular life. Being back in your body after having

00:35:00.489 --> 00:35:04.030
such an amazing experience. And you have to go

00:35:04.030 --> 00:35:07.590
back to reality, basically. What was that like

00:35:07.590 --> 00:35:10.449
for you? How hard was that? It's weird because

00:35:10.449 --> 00:35:13.510
when they put me in my own room, everybody knew

00:35:13.510 --> 00:35:15.150
that I did. They kind of knew my story at the

00:35:15.150 --> 00:35:17.809
hospital. they were calling me, you know, miracle,

00:35:18.050 --> 00:35:20.929
the miracle. I mean, I don't, I guess it's because

00:35:20.929 --> 00:35:22.909
of the, you know, how many, how close I came,

00:35:23.289 --> 00:35:25.449
but in the fact that I didn't, I basically came

00:35:25.449 --> 00:35:28.329
out unscathed. I mean, I have memory problems.

00:35:28.570 --> 00:35:31.170
That's fine. I, my eyesight, as soon as I came

00:35:31.170 --> 00:35:34.070
back, my eyesight was screwed. I mean, I had

00:35:34.070 --> 00:35:37.630
2020 and when I came back, my, I can't read close

00:35:37.630 --> 00:35:39.889
up anymore. And I've heard different versions

00:35:39.889 --> 00:35:43.340
of that. Maybe it's the deaf. you know, your

00:35:43.340 --> 00:35:47.159
eyes kind of rebooted weird or that the shock,

00:35:47.300 --> 00:35:49.340
I guess, can have something, you know, can have

00:35:49.340 --> 00:35:51.019
an effect on your eyes being shocked like that.

00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:53.980
But the only thing I felt the effect wise from

00:35:53.980 --> 00:35:58.579
all of it was those two things. But the first

00:35:58.579 --> 00:36:01.000
night that I was in the recovery room in my own

00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:03.719
room, my daughter had stayed. She decided she

00:36:03.719 --> 00:36:06.179
was going to stay in the room. So she got there

00:36:06.179 --> 00:36:09.480
was a cot in the room. So she laid in the cot

00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:12.019
for the first night when I was out of ICU. I

00:36:12.019 --> 00:36:15.320
just remember laying there watching TV and seeing

00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:19.480
a guy come in and he was in a like a hospital

00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:22.400
gown walked over and I could tell this is when

00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:24.340
I was seeing but remember when I mentioned that

00:36:24.340 --> 00:36:27.760
they look different? This person still looked

00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:29.840
a little different, but I was looking at him

00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:32.460
through my eyes, not the other eye, the lack

00:36:32.460 --> 00:36:34.800
of eyes that I was using before. So what I was

00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:36.880
noticing in this time was that when he walked

00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:39.159
over to me, it was almost like a slow gate, and

00:36:39.159 --> 00:36:41.360
he was standing over me like really trying to

00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:43.900
get a point across. And I mean, I'm seeing him

00:36:43.900 --> 00:36:45.820
just like he's standing there. I mean, it looked

00:36:45.820 --> 00:36:47.480
like a guy walked in and was trying to talk to

00:36:47.480 --> 00:36:50.019
me. His hair was kind of moved weird. And he

00:36:50.019 --> 00:36:52.480
looked like Kenny Loggins, the guy who sang Footloose.

00:36:52.860 --> 00:36:55.119
He looked like him, like back the way he used

00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:57.139
to look. He kept trying to get my attention.

00:36:57.380 --> 00:36:59.159
And I said, I, you know, finally I said, I can't,

00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:01.420
I can't understand you. And he kind of just looked

00:37:01.420 --> 00:37:03.860
disappointed, walked out. And it was like an

00:37:03.860 --> 00:37:07.099
hour later, another woman shows up and she walks

00:37:07.099 --> 00:37:09.340
into the room. Same thing, but she had like a

00:37:09.340 --> 00:37:11.260
white, it was like one of those white cotton.

00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:14.320
You know those dress things that like in the

00:37:14.320 --> 00:37:16.460
old country western movies that they wear, you

00:37:16.460 --> 00:37:18.599
know, like half pint goes to bed in her little

00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:20.679
whatever it is. That's what she looked like she

00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:23.340
was she was wearing and she came over to me and

00:37:23.340 --> 00:37:25.039
she was like leaning over and she was trying

00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:27.119
to say something and she had long black hair

00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:28.840
and it was kind of flowy it almost looked a little

00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:32.400
underwater and I finally had to tell her I don't

00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:34.880
I can't I can't understand you and then she kind

00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:36.639
of just looked disappointed and she walked out

00:37:36.639 --> 00:37:39.639
and That was when I was starting to think you

00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:42.289
know are these like real people? Are they dead

00:37:42.289 --> 00:37:45.130
people? It was like two days later, it was a

00:37:45.130 --> 00:37:47.949
Sunday and the Broncos were playing. So my family,

00:37:48.130 --> 00:37:49.969
the kids and everybody came over and kind of

00:37:49.969 --> 00:37:51.889
hung out in the room to watch the game. And as

00:37:51.889 --> 00:37:54.789
the game's going, these two kids walked in. One

00:37:54.789 --> 00:37:57.329
was like, I'd say about eight, eight and six.

00:37:57.550 --> 00:37:59.670
Boy was eight and girl was six, both blonde hair.

00:37:59.710 --> 00:38:02.710
Boy had a red robe. Girl had a blue robe. Kind

00:38:02.710 --> 00:38:04.449
of weave their way around. The people that were

00:38:04.449 --> 00:38:07.050
in the room came right up next to my bed. And

00:38:07.050 --> 00:38:09.650
my hand was laying on the bed watching the TV.

00:38:09.869 --> 00:38:12.809
And I saw the girl grab my arm and pulled it.

00:38:12.969 --> 00:38:15.349
And when she pulled it, my arm went up and went

00:38:15.349 --> 00:38:18.230
down. So my daughter was sitting over here. She

00:38:18.230 --> 00:38:20.530
goes, what are you doing? And I'm like, who are

00:38:20.530 --> 00:38:23.510
these kids? And she goes, what kids? And as soon

00:38:23.510 --> 00:38:25.869
as she said what kids, they both turned around

00:38:25.869 --> 00:38:28.030
and walked away. What was weird is when they

00:38:28.030 --> 00:38:31.170
walked away, they both were looking back at me

00:38:31.170 --> 00:38:32.670
the whole way until they disappeared through

00:38:32.670 --> 00:38:34.929
the doorway. It was just kind of weird the way

00:38:34.929 --> 00:38:37.369
that happened. From that, I thought things were

00:38:37.369 --> 00:38:39.139
going to be a little different. you know, because

00:38:39.139 --> 00:38:42.320
I could sense, I could always sense people and

00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.579
sense energies around me and pick up on people's

00:38:45.579 --> 00:38:48.300
attitudes. And I was very empathetic as far as

00:38:48.300 --> 00:38:52.519
just being able to feel other people's stuff,

00:38:52.699 --> 00:38:56.679
pain, anguish, things like that. But after this,

00:38:57.079 --> 00:38:59.539
that empathy thing just cranked it up to 10.

00:38:59.880 --> 00:39:04.000
I mean, now it's I have a hard time with the

00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:06.179
empathy part of it. And it's a part of the integration,

00:39:06.460 --> 00:39:09.610
too. I mean, just trying to Integrate all of

00:39:09.610 --> 00:39:12.710
these things and have a point and purpose has

00:39:12.710 --> 00:39:15.409
been probably the hardest part So the problem

00:39:15.409 --> 00:39:19.329
is too much empathy Yeah overload. I mean I've

00:39:19.329 --> 00:39:22.190
always had kind of like, you know, I can feel

00:39:22.190 --> 00:39:25.230
for somebody or I can like if I'm When I was

00:39:25.230 --> 00:39:27.670
when I was growing up before this happened I

00:39:27.670 --> 00:39:30.170
I always had anxiety and I would have just had

00:39:30.170 --> 00:39:33.289
a nowhere anxiety Like just being in a store

00:39:33.289 --> 00:39:36.070
being anywhere anywhere where there were people

00:39:36.070 --> 00:39:38.429
sometimes I would just get this I would just

00:39:38.429 --> 00:39:41.190
take on. I don't know why it was. I always thought

00:39:41.190 --> 00:39:43.389
it was just my own disorder, you know, is that

00:39:43.389 --> 00:39:44.829
I have it goes along with all the other things

00:39:44.829 --> 00:39:47.449
I have like OCD and I think I have a little bit

00:39:47.449 --> 00:39:50.909
of everything. OCD, anxiety, intrusive thoughts,

00:39:51.550 --> 00:39:53.929
bipolar. I mean, all these things kind of add

00:39:53.929 --> 00:39:56.090
up. And what's funny is, on a side note, I've

00:39:56.090 --> 00:39:59.170
been told from a medium girl that I know that

00:39:59.170 --> 00:40:01.570
I chose this because they say you can choose

00:40:01.570 --> 00:40:05.030
your lives. And apparently I chose to have a

00:40:05.030 --> 00:40:09.190
difficult mind. life this time. And so that's

00:40:09.190 --> 00:40:11.949
why I have all these little, I don't have anything

00:40:11.949 --> 00:40:14.349
that's full blown. It's just little bits of a

00:40:14.349 --> 00:40:17.809
bunch of little things. So I know the integration

00:40:17.809 --> 00:40:20.030
can be very difficult. And you had mentioned

00:40:20.030 --> 00:40:22.449
to me previously how it was, it came with some

00:40:22.449 --> 00:40:26.550
depression and some other things. And I want

00:40:26.550 --> 00:40:29.869
you to give us an idea before we wrap up. How

00:40:29.869 --> 00:40:33.150
much fear of death did this leave you with? And

00:40:33.150 --> 00:40:35.610
how did it change your life and your personality,

00:40:35.630 --> 00:40:39.250
if at all? Well, there's no fear of death. It's

00:40:39.250 --> 00:40:42.070
it's weird is that I fear pain, but I don't fear

00:40:42.070 --> 00:40:46.510
death I don't I don't have any any lingering

00:40:46.510 --> 00:40:49.909
ideas about You know, I know I know now that

00:40:49.909 --> 00:40:52.449
we don't finish I mean we just and I had a I

00:40:52.449 --> 00:40:54.230
had a thing with my dad one time in here like

00:40:54.230 --> 00:40:57.110
because he's deceased but I connected to him

00:40:57.110 --> 00:40:59.449
one time and was kind of doing a channeling just

00:40:59.449 --> 00:41:03.590
me just with him on my own and He had referred

00:41:03.590 --> 00:41:07.869
to it as sliding out Because you kind of do slide

00:41:07.869 --> 00:41:11.349
out of your body and when I slid back in it just

00:41:11.349 --> 00:41:13.489
didn't seem like I fit very well it seemed like

00:41:13.489 --> 00:41:16.090
I was like I had a bit of an aura around me that

00:41:16.090 --> 00:41:20.130
didn't go in and Everything seemed odd like my

00:41:20.130 --> 00:41:22.730
legs felt different. My arms felt different to

00:41:22.730 --> 00:41:24.469
me. My hands look different I mean everything

00:41:24.469 --> 00:41:27.550
was kind of weird in that way and and then another

00:41:27.550 --> 00:41:29.610
thing the one of the harder parts of that is

00:41:29.610 --> 00:41:32.280
that Now that you know you move on, it takes

00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:34.280
away the importance of this life. And I didn't

00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:35.739
want to lose the importance of this life, but

00:41:35.739 --> 00:41:37.360
I was starting to lose it. I was just thinking,

00:41:37.599 --> 00:41:39.219
if I don't get it right this time, I'll get it

00:41:39.219 --> 00:41:41.380
right next time. And that's not a good way to

00:41:41.380 --> 00:41:43.860
think. One, you're not going to be in this situation

00:41:43.860 --> 00:41:46.079
next time. So who knows what you're going to

00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:48.539
do. And so the reason that I wrote my book and

00:41:48.539 --> 00:41:53.079
called it what it is, is it's my own. think is

00:41:53.079 --> 00:41:55.280
that I have to look at that and think I am this

00:41:55.280 --> 00:41:56.719
world because my book is called I Am This World.

00:41:57.199 --> 00:41:59.820
And it's to remind you that you are this world.

00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:02.619
Quit living in the afterlife, quit thinking about

00:42:02.619 --> 00:42:05.760
the afterlife, quit knowing so much and get back

00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.940
on track. Because, you know, I have a lot of

00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:11.900
time left being this Michael person. I'm only

00:42:11.900 --> 00:42:15.219
60. If I have another fourth quarter of my existence,

00:42:15.219 --> 00:42:19.849
I need to be available for that life. And I could

00:42:19.849 --> 00:42:21.610
find myself afterwards, some of the depression

00:42:21.610 --> 00:42:24.289
was, you're just kind of cashing out. It's fake,

00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:27.449
I don't care. And you don't care. And that leads

00:42:27.449 --> 00:42:29.110
to depression, darkness. I mean, I went through

00:42:29.110 --> 00:42:31.269
a dark time afterward and then came back out

00:42:31.269 --> 00:42:32.929
of it. But yeah, there were some dark times after

00:42:32.929 --> 00:42:35.610
that. And I think it was due to knowing that

00:42:35.610 --> 00:42:37.690
feeling of knowing that knowing that we live

00:42:37.690 --> 00:42:39.550
on, knowing that there's more to this, knowing

00:42:39.550 --> 00:42:43.449
that this isn't it. That concept was depressive

00:42:43.449 --> 00:42:46.869
at first, and now I find it a blessing. But yeah,

00:42:46.909 --> 00:42:49.389
I was a depressed. It was probably about six

00:42:49.389 --> 00:42:52.289
years of really lowness after this that followed.

00:42:52.550 --> 00:42:54.929
So it was nice to come out of it. And I think

00:42:54.929 --> 00:42:58.449
now I'm starting to learn how to integrate back

00:42:58.449 --> 00:43:01.309
into what I was and figure out what I want to

00:43:01.309 --> 00:43:05.809
be. I mean, I've managed to lose like 80 pounds

00:43:05.809 --> 00:43:10.389
just by willing it. I was like 240 pounds. And

00:43:10.389 --> 00:43:12.250
one day I was just like, I want to get down to

00:43:12.250 --> 00:43:15.659
about 160, 170. And then the weight just started

00:43:15.659 --> 00:43:17.880
dropping off. I didn't do anything extra. I just

00:43:17.880 --> 00:43:20.440
didn't feel that hungry. And then the weight

00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:25.239
just dropped off. And now I'm at 165. So, I mean,

00:43:25.239 --> 00:43:27.940
for some reason, I have no idea how I did it.

00:43:28.099 --> 00:43:30.659
I reached my target weight without trying. If

00:43:30.659 --> 00:43:32.559
you could figure out how, that's what you should

00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:36.260
put into a book. That's where you'd make the

00:43:36.260 --> 00:43:39.280
big bucks. Well, I want to do a book next called

00:43:39.280 --> 00:43:42.079
The Theory of Knowing that kind of explains some

00:43:42.079 --> 00:43:45.340
theories of that I have that come from the knowing.

00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:48.219
You can take what you know about life and then

00:43:48.219 --> 00:43:50.599
simple things that I see in life that kind of

00:43:50.599 --> 00:43:54.019
coincide with what I know is real. You know,

00:43:54.139 --> 00:43:57.119
I mean you see sparkles of things in life and

00:43:57.119 --> 00:43:59.559
it's just that that's kind of another aspect

00:43:59.559 --> 00:44:02.239
that I'm trying to look at is, you know, trying

00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:04.579
to make sense of the knowing of it and how to

00:44:04.579 --> 00:44:07.739
use that knowing. Yeah, Michael, I want to thank

00:44:07.739 --> 00:44:11.039
you for coming on with me today and and say hi

00:44:11.039 --> 00:44:13.440
to your daughter who's originally who reached

00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:16.900
out to me about this and said you've got to hear

00:44:16.900 --> 00:44:19.880
my dad's story before I let you go. Would you

00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:23.900
just leave us with I know you have no fear of

00:44:23.900 --> 00:44:27.440
death and you have this great hope in the future

00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.500
and know that there's an afterlife for someone

00:44:30.500 --> 00:44:34.000
who's maybe wondering and doubting. You've got

00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:36.340
the last word. Leave them with a message of hope.

00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:39.719
I don't know what I mean. There's so many. The

00:44:39.719 --> 00:44:42.840
problem with death is that it's marred with all

00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:44.760
kinds of thoughts. There's religion. There's

00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:46.260
everything that goes with it. There's people

00:44:46.260 --> 00:44:49.219
can feel like I have to earn it. Or the main

00:44:49.219 --> 00:44:52.159
thing is it is and this is what a lot of people

00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:54.019
had a problem with. And I have a problem with

00:44:54.019 --> 00:44:56.960
still when I came back is that what is my point?

00:44:57.099 --> 00:45:01.110
What is my purpose? I just know that, and I've

00:45:01.110 --> 00:45:02.630
even heard people say that when there's a car

00:45:02.630 --> 00:45:05.369
accident, that you're pulled out before that.

00:45:05.710 --> 00:45:08.110
You're not your body. I mean, that's the one

00:45:08.110 --> 00:45:10.710
thing that is hard to describe. It's hard to

00:45:10.710 --> 00:45:13.010
get people to understand. You are the energy

00:45:13.010 --> 00:45:14.869
that drives the body. You're like the battery

00:45:14.869 --> 00:45:17.550
in the toy. When the battery is pulled, the toy

00:45:17.550 --> 00:45:20.469
dies. And that's the way I look at it, as I am

00:45:20.469 --> 00:45:24.849
a battery of energy that just... does something

00:45:24.849 --> 00:45:26.909
else. I mean, when I was pulled from that toy,

00:45:26.989 --> 00:45:29.349
I looked in his eyes and saw that there was nothing.

00:45:30.010 --> 00:45:32.550
I mean, that toy had no energy at all. That person

00:45:32.550 --> 00:45:34.750
had no energy at all. I think people get most

00:45:34.750 --> 00:45:36.829
afraid because they think that they are their

00:45:36.829 --> 00:45:39.369
body. And you know the body is going to die.

00:45:40.110 --> 00:45:42.429
So that is what people fear death for is because

00:45:42.429 --> 00:45:43.889
there's a permanence, there's a death there,

00:45:43.889 --> 00:45:46.369
but there's not a death there. You still see

00:45:46.369 --> 00:45:50.849
everything as it is, but better. You can do anything,

00:45:51.190 --> 00:45:55.960
but better. It's It's hard to, I know it's hard

00:45:55.960 --> 00:45:57.840
for me sometimes to figure out why we're here.

00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:00.059
And that's, I think, some of the main problem.

00:46:00.420 --> 00:46:02.599
I don't know how you get somebody to not fear

00:46:02.599 --> 00:46:05.900
death if they really do fear it. But I know a

00:46:05.900 --> 00:46:07.920
lot of people just think that, oh, what is my

00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:09.519
purpose? What is my point? What am I supposed

00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:13.840
to be doing in this life? And it's really, it's

00:46:13.840 --> 00:46:17.000
the communication between others. Just pay attention

00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:19.500
to that. That's the most important thing and

00:46:19.500 --> 00:46:22.199
there's really nothing to fear because once once

00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:25.380
you leave Actually, I didn't even notice at first

00:46:25.380 --> 00:46:28.780
So that's as painful and traumatic as it seemed

00:46:28.780 --> 00:46:31.460
is that it was such a peaceful thing That it

00:46:31.460 --> 00:46:33.480
just seems so natural and I just went with it

00:46:33.480 --> 00:46:37.599
and it was not scary at all Seems like the summary

00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:40.539
from what you've just said is your body might

00:46:40.539 --> 00:46:43.760
die, but you don't die That's why you don't need

00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:46.659
to worry about it No, yeah, you everybody thinks

00:46:46.659 --> 00:46:49.639
what happens to me nothing you're fine. Your

00:46:49.639 --> 00:46:53.940
body's not Perfect. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate

00:46:53.940 --> 00:46:57.420
all of it today Thanks again for listening and

00:46:57.420 --> 00:46:59.800
sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the

00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:02.579
follow or subscribe button and sign up for our

00:47:02.579 --> 00:47:05.420
newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want

00:47:05.420 --> 00:47:07.980
to share your near -death experience, or if you

00:47:07.980 --> 00:47:10.340
have questions or comments about the show, send

00:47:10.340 --> 00:47:13.900
an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until

00:47:13.900 --> 00:47:15.840
then, I wish you everything good that you're

00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:18.260
looking for in this life and the next.