Brief NDE at 12 Completely Changes Life Trajectory

0:03 From the time that they pronounced me that was a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I could see people screaming and crying But I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else The only thing that I could feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody and a very special warm welcome today to our guest Kohila Sivas. I hope I pronounced that right. Beautiful, perfect. Thank you. Kohila, how are you doing today? I am always blessed and I always live a blissful life. Well, and we feel blessed to have you on. We've been trying to coordinate this for a while, and I'm really glad that it finally came together. There was some kind of hand in that, I believe. Before we jump in and talk about your near -death experience and the many things that you've learned from it, and how it's guided your life, would you just give our listeners a little insight? Who's Kohila? Kohila is someone who didn't stop. Creating a path that works. I never settle. I've never settled There were so many moments in my life.

1:34 I could have settled and said, you know what? This is what life is Just give up just take it for what it is. But no There's always another path you can create and I've always created that and it's been hard, but I don't give up She would never give up. Kohila does not give up. You know, it's funny that term settle because It can have kind of negative connotations like oh he's settling for that But also the old term of, you know, settle down and do this and have this kind of life has sort of a positive tone to it. How is it for you? Yeah, I've settled in some areas. I've settled with the husband. I settled to have kids. I settled in many areas, but there are things that you cannot settle. For example, I was a teacher. I saw the system. I walked in and I quickly walked out because I wasn't going to settle. Right. There are things you can't settle. Yeah. So when you say that, you mean sort of settling for something lower than should be where you're at or, or what you're worthy of. That makes sense. How many children do you have? I have one, one of my own and four, four step kids. That's awesome. All right. Well, Without further ado, I want to jump into it because I have not heard your story yet. So I'm as excited as anybody, but I know it was kind of a rough one, too. So would you take us back to a younger point in life and kind of lead up to, you know, what was going on in your life that led to this?

3:06 Yeah, I was born in Sri Lanka. It's a small town, small island underneath India. It's a separate country. We had a war. The year I was born, my dad lost everything. So we had a war that was threatening everything in our life. So I grew up very scared, always looking out for danger. So eventually my dad left us, and then I was growing up with my grandfather. So from my grandfather, I learned that not always people will understand you. You always have to be very graceful. and give them space to learn about you. So I've got that from him. He was always a person who did that for me. And I learned that from him. And then finally, one day my dad was able to bring us to Canada. So I said goodbye to my grandparents, but I was so young. I was six. I didn't even hug them properly when I left. I just like, I'm just going on a plane. I'll be back. So, but that was my last time I was going to see them.

4:02 So I've never seen them after that. They died in the war. So I came to Canada and it was... It was a big difference from Sri Lanka. It's not an easy move. You know, when I was not too much older than that, I moved from a tropical climate place to Utah with snow and all that kind of stuff. Was that part of the adjustment? Yeah, the cold was one. Culture, weather, everything? Yes, I was just different. I was so different from everybody else. So that's where I use what my grandfather always taught me, right? Like if people don't know you, give them space to learn about you, right? So I said one day they will, you know, people will know about me and Kohila and her background, but right now they don't. I'm the one who's visiting a new place, so let's just learn to live in a new place. Unfortunately, I didn't know the language. So there was a language barrier. So at home, my parents also didn't speak much English, but my dad losing everything. He was very well off in Sri Lanka. He lost everything.

5:07 So he also became alcoholic. So our household was not always a pleasant place to be. So I didn't have anywhere to be safe as a young person. That is way rough. I can't imagine that. So what did that lead to? That led to me becoming very smart. Talking to my brain and my brain and I became so friendly that it would tell me things to do and I listened to it very closely Because that's the only partner I had because I can't talk to my parents. I can't talk at school So first thing you told me that you should mute yourself Because if you mute yourself, nobody will know you don't know English. I Said yeah, that sounds like a great plan. You're absolutely right. So that's exactly what I did at school as I muted myself I don't talk to anybody. I was the shy girl who doesn't you know, the quiet one who doesn't, we don't need to bother her. She's fine. But she wasn't fine. How often at this point in your life do you look back and go, wow, I've come so far? Every single day. Yeah. That's why I said I live a blissful life. To be blissful, you have to look that and say, wow, you made it. All right. Well, keep going on this journey.

6:18 It's interesting. Muting myself gave me protection, for sure, at school. Nobody bothered me. Everybody left me alone. At home, it was very rough, and my dad was very strict, and he wanted best for all of us. But he just didn't know how to parent. He just did it the way he knew. So it was always rough and scary. So I started not enjoying being at home. And my mom was always very scared of my dad and very... respectful to him, even though he didn't know how to parent us. So there was a lot of gap between our relationship, right? So it was just me growing up in a very empty, empty inside, empty outside. Everything was empty. There's nothing to be filled. So that's when I, about 12 years, when I became 12, then my brain and I were planning so many things. And one of the things I planned with my brain's help was to end my life because it was too hard. There's no answers in my life. There was nothing living for I didn't see into anything and then my household was getting more and more Hostile for me to live in so I decided that of course with the help of my brain Giving me all the facts why I should not live further. I decided to end my life at the age of 12 Probably a good point to throw out the crisis hotline if anybody is feeling this Nearly every country around the world just pick up your phone dial 9 -8 -8. There's somebody there you can talk to Absolutely. So I keep saying

7:49 I was talking to my brain, right? That brain we have is a very powerful machine It can bring us so many so many information and present to us as such a fact is so fact They look at it. You should end you like because of this reason this reason so the next day I'm in the hospital I wake up Obviously, I ended my life. I survived. I wake up and my brain's talking to me again, but not in the same way it talked to me the day before. It's telling me, why did you do this? Well, how can you do this? Look at your parents. Look at this. I mean, look at your life. You could have done this and that. I'm like, excuse me, who are you? Yesterday, you were validating why I shouldn't be here. today you're telling me all these reasons why I what I did is wrong like who is this person like it betrayed me my brain betrayed me that's the worst it can ever happen to somebody right I mean only friend I had was my brain it's telling me right opposite to everything you told me the day before that was the first time I felt the power of how the brain can manipulate and manipulate us and make it believe that it controls us. I mean, at that 12 years old, I didn't really have all the puzzles.

9:01 Now, how I use my methodology to coach others and help others, I know our brain doesn't own us. We own it. As long as we own it, we can get it to do whatever we want. And that's what I did afterwards. I'm like, oh, hold on a second. You actually can talk whichever way you want to talk. You're really not that powerful. I am powerful. I can manipulate you just like you manipulated me right now. I like it. So I started playing games with my brain. I'm like, okay, you tell me that I'm going to ask you more questions. Tell me more, right? Tell me more. All right, we're going to circle back to this whole brain thing. First, I want to hear more about the near -death experience itself. Did you have some kind of a spiritual awakening or out -of -body experience or anything like that? At the time when I did meet somebody in my hotel hospital, somebody came and talked to me. I didn't see that person afterwards. Like, I don't know who it was. The person came to me, felt Almost looked like a doctor, but I was searching for that doctor later on I couldn't see that same doctor ever again Right. I don't say this to people because people might think I'm crazy But what I what they told me was you need to rest and you have a purpose You need to rest and you have a purpose and I was looking Afterwards for this doctor that told me this and they were dressed in the doctor outfit, but the doctor came after would never looked like that person What do you make of that? Was

10:33 that a real person? Was that a vision of something? What was that? That was because I believe in God. That's the visit from God telling me you do have a purpose. And I think I execute that purpose to this day. I do believe the purpose was given to me on that day. And even though I didn't know exactly what it was, because until 32, I really was struggling. continue to struggle because, you know, maybe working through my brain, I was doing things. As I said, I always create a path and move forward. I was doing it, but until I was 32, I didn't get my rebirth. I had a rebirth at 32 where I knew this is my purpose and nothing will stop me kind of. Right. But I know that day was given to me, but I didn't own it until I was 32. Okay. When we refer to near -death experiences, a lot of people that I've talked to have had one of those, you know, clinically dead, gone to the light kind of thing, saw heaven kind of thing. Did you have anything like that happen at all or was it just this experience with the doctor? But the doctor, when he came in, it was very different. The world was different, like the environment was different, right? Like I was out of it, so I can't really tell what was happening, but all I know is that that person who said all those words was never to be found.

12:01 That's why I know, because I was searching for that person. I wanted them to tell me more stuff because what they said resonated so much to me at that time. I was looking with them and they never came back. And that's why I know it was different. That was the, that's how I felt. I didn't feel any lights. I just feel like where did that person go? That was my question And when you use the term environment, what do you mean by that? Did the room seem different or yeah? It shifted explain So the room may come very cloudy. It was very cloudy And uh, I couldn't see beyond the person that was talking to the doctor. I couldn't see anything beyond him It was just me and him and that's it In this in this it's almost like a smoke but not over him or anything, just behind him and everything.

12:47 I couldn't see anything further than him. It was just the one image of that person and me, and that person's telling me. Was anything else said? Did you ask him anything? At that time, at 12, I never spoke to people. I was very quiet. I muted for myself most of the time, so I was just receiving it. I'm like, okay. All right, I promised we would circle back you were talking about the conversation with your brain Let's get back into that. Where did that go? Where did it take you? Oh, it took me so far ahead in life, right? So first time I started speaking back to my brain I never listened anything after that betrayal from my brain. I never listened to it anytime. It says something I'm like, okay, tell me more. Tell me the facts What else you got to say to me and I always override it. I'm like, no, I don't think I'm gonna do that I'm gonna do it this way And then it'll jump and say, oh, so many things. I'm like, yeah, shut up. I don't care. But you've got to say, I'm doing it this way. So I always started overriding it, because I was almost mad, because that was the only friendship I had. So I'm not going to do what you say. The first time I started really implementing my brain and my power and all of that was in math. I went really into math and used math as a therapy during my coming back into life. That's what I used as a therapy to really build my confidence because in life I couldn't solve any problems. But in math, I would always get answers if I spend time and if I solve something, I can solve it. So that's how I became really excited about, OK, I can actually get

14:19 something done in life. I can accomplish something. So talking to my brain and with the help of math as a therapy. I became really good at that. And that's what I wanted to share with others. You know, when I left school, I'm like, let's become a teacher and share this with others. And that's why I went into teaching because I wanted to help students like me who were quiet, who go unnoticed in the classrooms, right? I can really connect with them because I have that happen to me. So I'm like, okay, I can do, and I can also share the math, which becomes the therapy. So it kind of have to edge to it. So I was excited, but in the school system, I couldn't really get to the people I wanted to get to. So where did this lead you in life? Yeah, after that I started my own business. As I said, I created my path.

15:06 They said, you know what, the school's not working. Let's start a tutoring business. There I also got stuff with people coming to buy marks, like they wanted me to work for their marks. that didn't sit with me well. I wanted to create really motivated, intrinsic, hungry people to learn, right? I wanted them to be curious about math like I was and how it helped me not just come to me for marks, get my marks up. Quick break to thank our sponsor of this episode, Pocket Hose, the world's number one expandable hose. I live on a very large lot with lawn, fruit trees, vegetable garden, flowers, all the things, and that means Lots of long heavy hoses to haul around to different areas. And it's so frustrating when the hoses kink have to be wound up or they just plain wear out. This summer is going to be different because I just got one of the brand new pocket hose copperheads with pocket pivot. Tried it for the first time Saturday and it really is going to be a game changer. No kinks, no heavy lifting, no big hoses to wind up. and it's backed with a 10 -year warranty. So now it's time to share the love with a deal for you. For a limited time my listeners can get a free pocket pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copperhead hose. Just text roundtrip to 64 000 That's roundtrip to $64 ,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. Roundtrip to $64

16:39 ,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. So that's how I started changing it. You know what? You don't need math help. You actually need how to learn and how the biological system work and how to unblock yourself. And that's how I created my methodology and started coaching kids. So when I coach them, They don't need math help people came to me for math help. They don't need math help They needed help on blocking themselves first like I was when I was young, right? I was blocked. Everybody said learn English learn math I couldn't learn anything until I was In flow because the state has to be in flow in order for you to learn anything, right? That sounds easy I'm being sarcastic and we're off in this direction. I'm happy to follow it How do people do that? How do people get that flow? You can't chase it. It's not something you chase. You really need to come home to yourself first. Come home in here first. Your soul, right?

17:41 I call it soul print biology. We have systems working for us and working against us. We need to know what those systems are. You have to become in tune with your body. And most of us are not in tune. We're not home. We're all out here. right? Majority of us these days, we're all out there. We're always looking for external things to help us, but those don't land if you're not home yet. So how do we do it? That's understanding yourself. Talking to your brain is one way, because if your brain is telling everything is out there, you're not going to look inward. It's looking inward, talking to your brain, looking at, OK, what's happening to me? What have I done? And also sometimes a lot of us get into the trap of blaming, right? We always say this is happening.

18:25 That's why I'm like this. This person did this. That's why I'm like this. Right. So that's another part to look at is where are we spending our time, diverting our attention to? And am I looking at this? Person as a biological system. I could be blocked and where am I blocked? So the understanding of yourself is so important, right? All right. I'm just letting it sink in for a minute No problem. I've always felt like any kind of You can calm spiritual experiences, whatever you want to like nd ease They have a purpose. They're here to teach us something, maybe point us in a direction, maybe give us some kind of a mission in life.

19:05 They're not just here for our entertainment purposes. What do you feel like you got from that as far as direction for your life? Patience with yourself. As I said, coming home to yourself, loving yourself. We're always looking for other people or other other places to be loved but first step is to love yourself and respect yourself You know, we always say others don't respect me, but not true. Do you respect yourself? So now my conversation since then is all about What am I doing? Not what others are doing So when I have what am I doing and what could I do? The control always lies in me like right now. There's so many chaos in the world None of that bothers me because what am I going to do? In this world, right?

19:53 It's always the question is what am I doing? Instead of what other people can do, right? Uh the old blame game can't be my fault must be somebody else's fault Yeah, we need to get past that So this set you down a path in life. Did you feel like it gave you some kind of a? Mission or purpose. I mean you talked about math Let's go back a little bit. This happened when you were 12. How did it change you at the age of 13, 14, 15? Confidence. I had a confidence that I need to be here. After that, the question was, and I'm not going to be here. It was question of, how am I going to figure out to live in this world? Because all of the other, before the 12 year old incident, I was always planning how to get out. After that, how am I going to be here? Is the planning and what am I going to do? to live here, right? That planning changed.

20:47 And then the gifts that were given to me, when I call it purpose, the gift was mastering the mind, was what I learned that day, was how to master the mind. The mind doesn't own you, you own it. You can maneuver the mind any way you want. And it's all in your hands. No one else is going to come and save you. If you are able to save yourself and move yourself forward, it's in your hand. Others are there to support you, but they're not going to save you. You need to save yourself. Like that internal core confidence gave me that I need to share this with others. I have to share this with others. I have to help students who think they're stuck in math to know that you're not stuck in math. Math is a skill.

21:32 It's a skill anybody can learn it anybody can teach it to you and you can learn it But why you're not good at math and why you're not learning the skills and you're being blocked That's an internal state that I can help you unblock and get you into flow that I can teach you When I do that, they became intrinsically motivated and responsible and accountable to their own learning and they loved math They would say I hate math too. I love math Right, it's it's different now if you love something you're gonna do beautiful rest of your life with it So that's how I helped my students to move and then they would always come back My students would come back to me and say, you know, whatever you helped me in math it transcended in all parts of my life I feel capable in all parts of my life is I didn't help them with math. I'll help them with their inner core to have that confidence that anything I put my mind to it and I control my mind to it, I can achieve it. And it's in my hand. I don't have to look outside and say, because of that, because of this, because of this, I'm this way.

22:40 It's amazing how much one, oh, I hate to even call it a little experience, but the little experience that you had there in the hospital. Wow. Talk about changes and at such a young age. This whole thing about teaching confidence and flow and this kind of stuff and we're not going to spend too much more time on it. But do you have an example? I know you can't give us a whole crash course right now, but do you have an example of maybe one person that you've worked with? I will give you our latest, latest, greatest story. So we had a coach started working with the family. They had a son who'd been kicked out of school. He was 10 years old, on five different medications, and he is not accepted in a lot of different schools. They put him in a private school. Holes in the walls, daily, you know, different things can happen, unpredictable behaviors.

23:32 Our coach enters the scene, because now I certified coaches under this methodology for the past. past five years, I have over 300 people under this methodology working with different families and adults. So when my coach entered the scene, he was telling her, like when he met with her, he couldn't even sit, he was all over the place and showing her the middle finger and all that stuff, right? Beyond that, we looked, that's one thing we look is beyond, everyone will see that as a behavior and shut down, but we don't see that as a behavior. We see as a system, a living system in distress. That's the different compassion lens that we put on as coaches, our coaches, right? My coaches, that's what we put on. So whenever he shows middle finger, it's not a big deal. He can do whatever he want. It's not going to make me want to do anything else other than know you even more. We get closer to him, right? So he is now, after her working with him for less than nine months, he is now an example for his whole class. He's off of all his medication. Not because we told him to, the doctor he saw saw a difference in him and he no longer is on any medication. There's no holes in their walls, in their house. The parents are so relaxed before they were always on guard, something. So when the coach met him, she asked him what's going on. He said, I am a cuckoo.

24:53 I am a cuckoo. Right? That's what his identity was. I'm cuckoo. Everybody thinks I'm a cuckoo and I am a cuckoo. He owned it. So I behave like a cuckoo. These are his words, right? So then she later asked, who are you to this boy? He said his name and he said, you know, is there anything that you feel like, you know, you're like, you know, you're struggling or anything that you said? I think I'm struggling a little bit with math before he would say I'm cuckoo. Obviously I'm a cuckoo, right? But now he said I'm struggling with math. Now he has turned his identity into some skill that he can pick up. versus I am, rest of my life, a cuckoo person. It is a different spectrum of confidence in him.

25:36 So he's now flourishing in his classroom, and every teacher loves to have him as a role model in his classroom. And we got teachers writing us some emails back saying, thank you for making him an example of our class now. And that's less than nine months into it. That just happened, so that's why I'm sharing it. And these are the changes we make we we don't make great change. We don't get the grades to change We get the person to transform and then transcend all of that into every parts of their life, right? So the grades become a byproduct of it Okay All right. And if people want to learn more about this, we'll get a website down on the show notes so they can find it This show is all about hope and leaving people with a message of hope What you've already done, and I appreciate, for people that have had a near -death experience that may not seem like this big grandiose thing like some people hear about, going off to the light and seeing heaven and all this really awesome stuff, lots of them aren't that way. And the ones that are more simple, Like what happened to you probably don't get talked about near enough, but they're obviously just as life changing because your life really changed. Can you give us a little bit more? Just dig a little bit deeper on either what happened to you or how you changed or something along those lines that's going to lead us back

27:07 to this message of hope for people. Yeah. Hope was lost. Days leading up to it. I lost all hope because We do things like that because we don't see a way out right? Anyone who's kind to get to that point of level of you know exiting your own life is when we don't feel any doors opening for us anymore. It's all closed, all closed, all closed. And that's where your brain comes in to tell you, yeah, it's closed. Yeah, well, of course that's also closed. Of course, this one's also closed. Your brain just validates everything you think about at that time. And that's how crazy it is, right? One of the hope I want to leave today is how you own the brain. Don't allow your brain to tell you crap. Like all day long before I did it, it was telling me so much crap that That's what pushed me. That's what pushed me to the edge the crap that I listened to and then the next day I wake up and it has the All this thing to tell me the opposite. I'm like, would you even come up with this stuff?

28:11 I was so destroyed so destroyed and then Sitting with those tears and going through that emotion of how can you lie to me like that? You're telling me all of this. Why didn't you tell me yesterday? Why didn't you tell me yesterday if you had all these ideas I could try I had all these stores extra doors that I could have opened It's telling me the next day telling me how wonderful life could be you couldn't have told me that yesterday this is what I want the anybody listening to me to understand about your brain is if you don't question it if I had the you know, knowledge to question a day before, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. But I didn't. I completely listened to all this crap. It's telling me how little I am, how stupid I am, how everybody thinks I'm stupid, how everything is going to go wrong. You're not capable for life. All of this. And the next day, it's telling me the right opposite. So why couldn't I have that conversation the day before? And I didn't have to go through any of this, right? Well, that's just about what I was going to ask is how do people know when we're being lied to by that self -talk? It's so on the it's a lie when it's all matching Like it's like you think and they bring some supporting you Constant support it is no there's no friction in your in your conversation with that brain.

29:34 There's no friction It's always like yeah. Yeah, it's validating. Yeah, sure. It tells you other information to validate even further Do you see what I mean? Whatever I'm saying to it. It's gonna validate with more things that makes it yeah, it's building a case With me and the case is never it has any friction It's always validated that but in that building the case we can be a cross examiner and ask hold on a second Why would you say that? Hold on a second. Will you just told me that my mom hates me and I should in my life Well, how do you know my mom hates me? She doesn't love me like No, no, like never in her life she loved me. Like, why does she have me? Like I didn't ever cross -examined my brain. I just said, okay, yep, that's valid.

30:16 Yep. That's also valid. That's great. Yeah. I understand that too, right? So it's that conversation if we can have with our brain. That's what I do now is I never believe my brain. If it says something, there's going to be a lot of cross -examination like a lawyer would. So it has to produce a case and we have to have an argument. And then Then I can make a decision on it. It's an argument That's cool. But doesn't your brain ever tell you positive things too that you don't need to argue with it can but not when you're In a state like I was or someone was listening if they're in a state of that right thinking about you know what my life is, you know when we're in a In a negative negative zone in our life or something negative is happening to us.

31:03 Yeah, it doesn't have that effect. It's usually is negative, pretty negative. And it comes up with more negative. So at the hospital, when I woke up, you know, it was very scary, right? Because when you've done something like that, and you were supposed to go and you haven't gone, it is scary to face every single person in your life again. And to see life again, and you're going to try again, was hard. So that's why I explained to you earlier, that one doctor who came to visit me, All he needed to say to me was a few words and two words that I still remember to this day is, you need to rest. So I guess two sentences, you need to rest and you have a purpose. So these were the things given to me. I hold this hand like this. It was almost like I was given like this and I took it. I took it. And that was coming home to myself again.

32:01 because I lost it previous to that, right? So that was me bringing back that life to me. And from that day on, I carried that I have a purpose, but I didn't know what it is. So sometimes when you come out of these things, it's not right away, it's going to be clear and for the path is like opened for you. You have to go through life and trials to what that purpose is for you. Right? It took me a long time to have this clarity. Now I know, now I know it's to deliver this. the message from my brain that I've learned, as well as to serve to 1 .5 billion humans by 2035, ending the suffering because we don't need to suffer. We are suffering because we created education system on the assumption that we should all be coming into that building ready to learn.

32:48 But we don't have a switch to turn on and go and learn. We're a biological system bombarded with so many variables. I don't just turn on and say, I'm ready. Teach me now. It doesn't work that way. So until we learn to respect the human as a human We have built an education system that has Caused all of our pain and suffering including adults who are in the world right now because they are all all product of the same system We're all we all are We're the problem children. I got you All of all of us it's not just you it's me it's everybody because we had the assumption that we should have a switch turn on and learn and that's how you should live life.

33:29 Well it wasn't that easy and i remember some teachers they knew how to get through to me and some did not. Therefore the subject that that teacher was teaching i must be bad at right. History teacher doesn't know how to get through to me. It's all boring. Therefore, I don't like history. I love history now. I wish I would have back then. A teacher can make a break. Yeah. I had a very, very good teacher who actually who broke my silence at school because I told you earlier that I muted myself, right? One day this teacher looked into my eyes and said, Kohila, I know you can speak. Just speak. That's all she needed to do. And I started speaking. That was the first day I spoke at school. And then ever since then, I started speaking again. So there are teachers who are born to bring that for others, right? And there are teachers who bring things out of you and leave you empty too, so. All right. Well, I appreciate all the wisdom and advice and we have a lot to let just kind of sink in, right? from a lot of the things that you've said, so I appreciate it very much. And it all started with a simple NDE. Kohila, I appreciate it. Thank you for being with me today. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com.

35:01 If you want to share your near -death experience, or if you have questions or comments about the show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.