#352 - An Atheist Meets God and Says, "Holy #$%*@!"

0:00 From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. Welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody.

0:41 We are going to have, I promise, so much fun today. We've got Megan Brown here with us from Arizona. Good morning, Megan. Good morning, Eric. Thank you for having me. You are so welcome. And I say we're going to have fun because in our pre-interview, I kept being surprised and shocked at all the things that came up. And I'm not quite sure how to tease this for people, but I'm going to just, maybe the best tease would be to throw out some names we're going to talk about. Perfect. Can you guess which ones I'm going to go after? Well, I'm going with Freddie Mercury number one, but I don't know. I don't know. That's where it starts. Freddie Mercury, Lincoln, Muhammad, Jesus, et cetera, et cetera.

1:27 This is, anyway, we'll get to all this as we go. And people are wondering, what in the world does Freddie Mercury have to do with a near-death experience? So there's all the teasers you get for today. Hey, if you don't mind, before we start, tell us just a little bit about you. What kind of background do you have? Where do you live? Well, my background is I grew up in Southern California. And when I had my son with my now ex-husband, I didn't want to raise him in Southern California because it was so different than when I was a kid. So we moved to Missouri, of all places, for four and a half years. And that's where I had my near-death experience.

2:09 And then my body couldn't handle that weather there any longer. So we moved to Sedona, Arizona. And it's been very nice. I haven't spent much time in Missouri. I hear it's really hot and really cold. Is that what the hard part was? Yeah, the humidity with the sheets, it was brutal. So before my near-death experience, I could handle it. The ice storms, OK, it was just very different than C.V. Valley, California, and San Clemente. So it was very different. But then after my body went through so much, and kidney failure, and other things, I couldn't handle the weather change.

2:57 So you're in a place with perfect weather all year round now. Yeah. And it gets cold here, but it's not like there. So I'm so grateful for all the ice. Well good. Let's jump right into what led up to your near-death experience. So I know these were health problems. And you can tell us as much or as little as you're comfortable with. But tell us what was going on. So OK, I'd like to start by saying that I was in great shape. I worked out three times a week with a private trainer. I was doing household stuff. My son was four at the time. And I did everything that needed to be done, cook, laundry, blah, blah, blah.

3:41 Stay at home, mom. It was really privileged to be a stay-at-home mom, because my then husband, he was on the road all the time working. How old were you? When this happened, I was 38. OK. Yeah. So everything seemed to be, quote unquote, normal. And I came home. I made dinner, picked up my son from school. My girlfriend and her kids came over, and everything was normal. I mean, we sat down. We ate. I even drank one beer. I don't even drink beer, but I drank a beer for some reason. It was funny. Then it just, you know, I put my son to bed later, cleaned the kitchen, did my thing, and went to bed.

4:25 And as the night went on, my stomach really started to hurt in a way that I'd never felt before. And I called my husband and told him what was happening. There was nothing he could do, you know, except be an ear for me. And then I tried to do yoga stretches. I tried to do different things to relax my body, but it didn't work. So I just kind of, well, I'll deal with it, you know, and went to sleep and woke up in excruciating pain. So that pain led to multiple other pains as the day went on, because I drove myself to the hospital, you know, doubled over at the steering wheel.

5:10 And I called my girlfriend to come watch my son, because it was the middle of the night. I couldn't get help. And they thought, oh, you know, just give her whatever it was to take away the pain. I don't even know what it was. And then I had driven myself there, so I couldn't drive home. And I had to call somebody else to come and get me and take me home. And then that medicine wore off, but there was nothing to back it up. And so the pain was even worse. And it just, it was awful. So I finally made it into a hospital. So they didn't diagnose what was wrong? No, they couldn't. They just, they didn't take x-rays, they didn't do anything.

5:51 Oh wow, just a lady in pain. Okay, keep going, because I know there was something behind it. I went to, I got transferred to another hospital, and it was 52 miles away, because there was no end of, what was it, I can't remember the doctor that I needed at the first hospital. Gastroenterologists, that's what it was. They didn't have one. So I got transferred to another hospital. Three or four days of severe, severe pain, I was just excruciating pain. Finally this hospitalist, I kept hitting the nurses button, and they would ignore me. And finally this hospitalist comes in, and he said, you know, what's going on?

6:36 You know, he was very, just very, felt very cold. And I told him all the details of what was going on, my body and the pains that I was feeling. He finally just looked at me and said, I think you're a drug seeker. And all of a sudden, for the first time I heard, make a scene, make it big, or you won't make it out. I'm thinking, okay, the doctor didn't just say that to me. What's going on here? So my stepson and his wife were sitting there. They didn't say anything. And they didn't hear what I just heard. So I made a scene. I thought, well, I'm in a Catholic hospital. I know exactly what to say.

7:16 And I did. Because you were raised Catholic, right? I was, yeah. But you knew how to rock the boat big time. Oh, yes. All right. What did you say? Well, I don't know if I can say it on your show, but we'll bleep it out if we need to. I called the names. I mean, I said, look, mother, I said, you're going to get me a damn help that I need. I said, I am demanding to get, I said, you're fired. You are so fired. I said, get out. Absolutely get out. I said, you have no idea who I related to. Oh, I was searching for things to say, but I, this guy's just looking at me. And I said, my husband played for the president.

7:57 Now get the f*** out. You're fired. And so she's looking at me and he looks at my steps on it. His wife, like, is she telling the truth or is she just delusional, you know? And they looked at him and shook their head. Yes, it was true. I was telling the truth. So finally he left. And then this little nurse comes in and she says, I mean, I could have been her mother because she was fresh out of nursing school. And she says, I'm sorry, ma'am, we can't get you another doctor. And I said, look, you're going to get me another f***ing doctor. And I said, because I'm going to fire you. And my body was becoming paralyzed and I could feel it.

8:38 I couldn't move my legs. I couldn't, I couldn't do anything. And the only things that I could move at this time were my hands and my head and the upper chest area just under the shoulders. And I was trying to express all of this. I was scared. I was so scared. Oh my gosh. Miraculously, I get another doctor who walked in and this woman scammed me and looked at me. And what the other doctor failed to tell me was that I had bloated 43 pounds of fluid and it turned gray. So she looked at me and the nurse that I threatened to have fired. And she said, oh my God, has anybody checked her creatinine level?

9:22 And the answer was no. As the nurse was going through the pages, you know, looking through her notes. So I was in kidney failure. I was in full-blown kidney failure. I literally was dying because I wasn't on dialysis. I had so many, this had been going on for days now, you know? So it was really bad. Wow. That is really scary. Yeah. Okay, was there some point where this went beyond that and you had a death experience? Yes. So, okay, so fast forward now. I'm being wheeled into dialysis and I was so, it was like, I was in so much pain and they had just figured out, oh my God, she's in kidney failure.

10:11 They have to get her up there. I don't even know if they gave me anything yet for pain, but I remember this nurse standing next to me and she looked down at me and said, we need to do a blood transfusion. Do I have your permission to do a blood transfusion? And all I could think of was, what kind of disease am I going to get from it? You know, is the blood clean? And she says, I mean, and she said it again a few times. So I heard something sound one say, say yes. And I was like, who said that? So I said yes. So they had to do blood transfusions on me and then they did the dialysis. But I remember jumping to getting into heaven.

10:55 I remember I walked through clouds and I walked through clouds to what looked to be a park and you know, the grass, the trees, the sun, the birds. Before we jump into the detail there, what happened to your body that launched this? Did you shut down at some point? Yeah, actually 90% of my body had shut down. Okay. Were you conscious? In and out. And after I said that to the nurse on the gurney, I do not remember anything until another moment where heaven had me wake up.

11:41 And another nurse was working on me in my hospital room because they had to keep doing it consistently. So they would do dialysis followed by plasma peresis. So this was like a six, seven hour, you know, and if the machine didn't break, it was like seven hours, you know, it takes a long time. I literally opened my eyes, grabbed this woman's wrist, and I said, you have to get me off this floor. I'm going to die here. That wasn't me. I didn't know, I didn't know where I was. And she looked at me and I had taken her by surprise, of course. And she said, well, that's too much paperwork for me. My husband is the head of the sixth floor and that's the sickest unit in this hospital.

12:22 I'm going to have you moved. And I was just laid there and I thought, wait, she's going to help me? Oh, fantastic. So I was out of it again. And then I remember like getting my room and I remember seeing her husband, who was the head nurse up there. And then I went into my experience again. Okay. So, and I'm sorry I interrupted that. You were talking about being at a park. This was the first part of the experience then. Okay. Go on from there. Tell us what happened there, what you saw. Okay. So I, you know, I, I see trees. I all of a sudden see this Jesus standing over to the left in front of me.

13:07 So like he's over to the left under a tree. And I, I looked at him when I go, oh my God, you really do exist. And he started laughing. And I couldn't believe my eyes. And so, cause this is a guy I thought was a fairy tale. So you know, he opened up his arms. He greeted me like, come on over, give me a hug. So I walked over to him and I gave him a hug and, and then he kind of, he turned to, he like pulled me to his side and we started walking. And he said, come on, we have a lot of work to do. And I said, yeah, no shit, you're dealing with me. I mean, that's exactly what I said. I just don't say that to everybody, but that's what I said.

13:50 So we walked and I had to go meet my other guides in a golden capsule. I remember stepping in a golden capsule and my other guides are Archangel Michael, who else was there? Elmoria, Saint Germain and Mother Mary. So we stepped inside the capsule and I had to watch my life review. And it's like, look, I don't know how they work TVs there. All I can tell you is it's like watching a movie, a movie literally of yourself every second of your life. And you not only feel your emotions, but you feel the other people's emotions in anything was happening.

14:32 And you, you were forever changed by this experience because how could you not be? Can you give us an example of one of the things that you saw in the life review? Yes, I remember and I called my grandfather. He lived a very long time. So I called my grandfather and I said, oh, grandpa, I said, I saw us on the boat, the little sailboat, the sunflower, when we were in Hawaii together because they owned a house in Honolulu on the water and we used to go out fishing. It was this little tiny sailboat that he had, but there was, it was just so much happiness doing that, you know, spending time with them and then being on the water.

15:21 I loved it. That was one of the moments that I remember seeing and I called him and told him and I remember, let's see, what else do I remember? I don't remember a specific moment. I remember some things that were really rough to watch. Like, for instance, I was in a car accident. In 1978, this is my first near-death experience and it was, it was horrific. I mean, I broke both my legs last week and my whole face was like practically, you know, ripped off and my best friend and her mother both died. I was in a body cast. I was all these things. So I had to feel all of this again, if you can imagine, pain, the emotion that went into it, everybody's emotion that was going on around it.

16:09 It was, it was horrific. Did you feel in any of those experiences that you were reviewing, did you feel guilt, shame, or was it more of just a, hey, we're just learning from this. We're feeling it, but we're learning and moving ahead. You know, I don't remember specifically what I felt, but I do know that I felt, I felt all of those things because in any moment in life, whatever it is that you're feeling, you're going to feel it again, whether that be guilt, whether that be shame, whether that be happiness, whether that be, you know, questioning something. I remember also, Archangel Michael, they would stop the video.

16:49 I call it the video of my life or the film of my life. They would stop it because I remember one time I was throwing up, I was so upset by how it made me feel. I mean, you do have reaction to it, the life review. I remember throwing up and they stopped the video and they waited until I was done. Then I was asked by Archangel Michael, how are you feeling? At first processing that question, it's like, well, can't you see I'm falling apart in front of you? I mean, this is a horrible feeling, but they would, through different life situations that I'd experienced, they would stop it again, the video, and they would ask me, how do you feel about this?

17:34 How do you feel about this? And what are you feeling right now? But finally at the very end, because they showed me future stuff, but I don't remember, they didn't allow me to remember any of the future stuff. I was asked, how do you feel about this? And my response was, this too shall pass. And they all looked at me and smiled. And I don't remember if it was Jesus, Archangel Michael, but they said, you've got it. You understand now. So it's like a little mini graduation right there in that moment. Sounds almost like a therapy session. Like, let's go through something and then let's stop and let's let you process it.

18:18 You know, I am joked about that. Yes, that's what I think. It was, it was heaven's therapy. That's what I call it. Yeah, it's true. Can I ask you this too? How did you know that Jesus was Jesus and Michael was Michael? Were there introductions or do you just know? Jesus, I just knew. I mean, I looked at him and I thought, but it's weird that you asked that. Because, you know, I was talking to my friend last night and who'd asked me like, how do you know that, you know, these aren't all aliens and presenting themselves in a way that they come across as a certain character?

18:59 You know, I was thinking about it last night after we got off the phone and I thought, well, that's an interesting question because technically heaven is like the bar scene in Star Wars, so that would make us all aliens because it does look like the bar scene in Star Wars. And I even told my dad last night and my dad said, well, I thought everybody was nice. I said, they are nice. I said, everybody's, you know, in a loving feeling, you're in a loving atmosphere. You can't feel anything but love. I mean, you can, but it's a very protected area. It's so serene. It's so incredibly magical. And as God said to me in heaven, he said, love is magic.

19:42 Magic is love. So, what was your answer about the alien thing? Oh, so my answer about the alien thing, gosh, what did I say to him? I didn't even remember what I said to him. It was kind of like, well, okay, you know, I mean, and, and so I'm telling you, yeah, I mean, I can see why somebody would think that. But really, I had, I told, well, I did tell him, I said, I had no expectations of what any of these souls would look like in heaven. So how would they present themselves to me a certain way, unless, unless it was just like Catholic upbringing? I mean, I don't know, but I didn't get into all of these people that are now in heaven that I saw.

20:23 I didn't, I didn't connect with Mother Mary. I didn't connect with Jesus, obviously. I mean, I was told to, you know, that's how I was raised. But I had so many questions. I remember as a kid, like, well, I can't, well, you're telling me that this is real, but that doesn't make it real, you know? So I always said in the back of my mind, you know, I have to see it to believe it. Well, I saw it. Now I believe it. I love that. Okay. You saw lots of other beings. Were they during this same experience or were you sort of in and out of consciousness? And this was a series of events.

21:03 Oh, this was no during the same experience. Okay. Well, go ahead and keep going. Okay. So after my life review, then I had to go with Archangel Michael in his golden capsule. And I knelt down. I mean, he told me first, what was it? First, I think the cherubs came in first because I didn't, I wasn't wearing anything. And they had to dress me in this white, I call it a toga because it's all I can think of were togas and a stole that went over, that went over me. And on the bottom right on my hip was the emblem of earth with seven flames coming out of it, indicating that I was a visitor from earth.

21:54 Then I had to kneel down before Archangel Michael and he said Psalm 91. And as he said, Psalm 91, he had his right sheen directed at my soul, which soul is right between your breastbone. This white flame came out of his hand. It was really amazing. I felt so loved. I felt so accepted. And I felt so bad that I had said all of these horrible things in my head. If there's a God, well, you know, give him and then it's real and this is all bullshit. I mean, I mean, I really did think all those things. And so when he was done with that, I was, I started to cry.

22:37 And I had my head down and I was looking down. I put my hands up to my face and he's like, Megan, why are you crying? And I said, because I've been horrible. He mean to all of you. I've said horrible things about you. And I didn't believe in any of you. And I thought this was all shit. But I said it to him and, you know, and he said, Megan, I'm here to love you. I'm not here to judge you. I thought, oh my God, now that Catholic guilt really kicked into that moment. I gotta tell you. So I just felt completely changed in that moment, completely changed. So he said to me, come on, there's a lot of people waiting to meet you. And I thought, what?

23:17 And I looked at my head, there are people waiting to see me, you know? And he said, yeah, let's go. So we stepped outside of his capsule. Then there was Jesus, Mother Mary, El Moria and Saint Jireen and all of us walked. And we had to go over, we had to go over what was like a little bridge. Anyway, then there was a huge white temple. It was beautiful with two small decks that came out. The door was huge to get in. And then there was a deck on either side of the door up high. And there were golden cherubs playing the trumpet and announcing this was to announce that I was arriving with what I was arriving with.

24:03 And I don't remember who opened the door. We walked in and as soon as I walked in, all I could feel was it was like getting shit with a wave of love that never stopped. It continued to hit you. It continued to fill your entire being. All I was breathing was love. All I could feel was love and excitement from everyone sitting there. And it was funny because so Jesus comes up, pulls out this chair. It's like I floated to my chair. I don't even remember walking, you know, but I was walking.

24:47 I just don't remember. I was nervous. I was not feeling like, oh, I'm worthy enough to be here because I didn't believe in any of these people. You know, I mean, here I am going in as an atheist thinking, oh my God, they do exist. This is love. I don't know what to do. I wear a wave and begin. So Jesus pulled out my chair and he's sitting to my left. Archangel Michael's sitting to my right. To Jesus's left is this old man sitting at the table and he starts talking and everybody's listening. And I thought, who is this guy? You know, he's talking. And then he said, within the first few minutes of me sitting there, he said, and Megan will be going back to earth.

25:32 He announced to everybody this and in my mind, in my mind only, I did not say this out loud. I thought, oh, he stopped talking. He looked directly at me and he said, is right, Megan. And I thought to myself, oh my God, you are God. I remember in Catholic school, Catholicism, God can hear all your thoughts. God can hear. And then I was like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. God, and he watched me feel, you know, foamable through my mini conversation there.

26:12 But I mentioned sincerely that I was sorry. I was very apologetic. And he said, I forgive you. He said, it's a man made word. I don't get upset with that. And she said, but be careful what you think of and what you wish for. I hear all of those. And then I sat there and everybody at the table was watching me. So now I realize, OK, who's conducting this interview and this whole, you know, conference here is God himself. I'm looking around. Everybody's staring at me. And then I'm recognizing some souls that I'd seen your pictures on earth.

26:54 I was just going to ask, because you're saying everyone, give me an idea. Do you have an idea of how many people beings were there? Yeah, there were 77 of us in total. Oh, you know exactly. I know exactly. But I don't remember every single person. I remember seeing Kali. I remember Parmenon, Siyog Nanda. I remember Mahatma Gandhi. I remember Kwan Yen. I remember Prophet Muhammad. I remember Jesus, Archangel Michael, Archangel Raphael. There were 27 archangels. There was Goddess sitting bull, White Eagle. I remember Chan saying, I don't know if I said it already, but I remember Shiva, Ganesh was there. I remember all of these souls sitting there because I recognized some of them.

27:37 Some of them. I did not recognize, but I learned about them. You know, like who knew that there were 27 archangels? There really aren't. There's 1000. But in the upbringing that I came up from, I think there were, I mean, I just remember Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael and Archangel Gabriel. I don't remember the other ones, but I think there were only like six or seven in the Catholic Church that they recognized. So okay, awkward moment here, right? After what you said to God and you were forgiven, you mentioned earlier about this wave of love. Are you still feeling that? On earth now.

28:17 No, I mean in this meeting that you're at around the table. Are you still feeling nothing but love or are you feeling criticism and judgment? Absolutely zero criticism, zero judgment. I only felt luck the entire time. Okay. He tells you, Megan's going to be going back. What happened next? Then he went on to talk and inform people of what was happening. And I don't remember verbatim what he said, but it was very important and everybody had to pay attention and listen. And then at one point, oh my gosh, I just remember this.

29:03 He, okay, so God, I forgot about this. Megan pointed up to the ceiling and all of a sudden the ceiling of, it was a dome in temple, okay, and temple by temple, I mean like Jewish temple, okay. So there was a dome that the top opened. He opened it up with his hand and then he said, do you see all of the stars out there? And he went on talking about the galaxy. I don't remember what else he said in that, but I remember looking up at the stars and him talking to me about the stars and how important they were and how important the galaxy was and how everybody was working together.

29:49 But I don't remember any more than that. I can't believe I just remembered that. It's okay. These memories often come back a piece at a time. So I'm happy for you that you remember that. That sounds amazing. Yeah. It was really cool. But then I also remember, so after, I think it was after he opened up the ceiling or roof or whatever of the dome, I had to get up. I was instructed to get up and walk around the table. And every time I walked, I had to go to one soul at a time. Each one of them had messages for me. And no, I do not remember every message.

30:32 But I remember when I met Goddess, she sits directly across from God at the table. I didn't know about a Goddess. I wasn't talking about Goddess. You hear about it from all this woo-woo stuff, right? Here I am talking about that, working and living in Sedona. But I mean, seriously, I think it's women. I think it's funny because, okay, this is how I used to think. I should say I used to think it was women who were feeling unrecognized. How come God is a male? How do we not know it's a Goddess? How is it that we know God is male and not a female? Well, the truth is that there's God and there's Goddess. So I met them both.

31:12 But when I got to Goddess, I don't remember if this was the first time that I went around the table or I have no idea. But I remember standing there in front of her and she was wearing this crown, a very delicate gold crown that had huge, 13 huge chunks of amethyst in it. And it came up to a point at the top of the crown and went around her head. Oh my gosh. She was absolutely beautiful. She was absolutely beautiful. And I thought, who am I standing before? Goddess, you know? But she looked at me and she said, Megan, it's okay to be yourself.

31:57 It's okay to be yourself. I'd never heard that before, not even on earth. I didn't hear that before. I never heard it was okay to be myself. So it was obviously a message that I needed. I'm revered grateful for that. Okay. I have a question. Tell me if you have any thoughts on this based on that experience. If God, who was sitting next to Jesus, if Jesus is the Son of God, is there a relationship with Him and what you're calling Goddess? A relationship. In other words, is she the mother of Jesus or just God being the father of Jesus?

32:38 Is there a relationship between God and Goddess? Well, yes. However, Jesus is not who I was taught as being, quote unquote, the Son of God. It's interesting because Jesus, okay, now in all fairness, I should say, Jesus is the Son of God, but so are you. So are my brothers. So is every male on this planet. Every female on this planet is the daughter of God. And I say this with absolute sincerity and respect to everybody that, look, it's not just one.

33:28 Prophet Muhammad came here as a Son of God, as a messenger, as a prophet, just like Jesus. So why is he not being revered by everybody? He should be, just as Jesus should be. So this is my opinion, of course, after what I've experienced, and I understand that. But this is one of the reasons that I believe I've been sent back here is to start talking about my experience there and my feelings of what it really meant to see these souls in front of me, none of which I believed it.

34:08 And I didn't know anything about Prophet Muhammad. I knew nothing, absolutely nothing. If you don't mind, I want to jump back into this experience you had with Goddess. If we are sons and daughters of God, what does that relationship make us with her? Are we sons and daughters of her also? I don't know how to answer that. Honestly, I don't. I mean, I can just speculate with you. Sure. That's what much of what we're doing here. Okay, my other question about her, because this doesn't come up very often. So I've got questions if you know, and if you don't, that's fine.

34:50 Did you get a feeling for what her role is? Oh, interesting. I did get a feeling. I definitely got who was in charge. It was the male. It was God. He was in charge. However, God was more intense in a, okay, but he was also very soft and gentle and approachable. These are all the things that I felt with him, but I was very nervous, okay? Because here I am standing before him, sitting before him, and having conversations with him. I had obviously disrespected him and God saying, God damn it, Jesus Christ.

35:36 All of these things, as a human, before I get there, but Goddess, I was not intimidated by. I didn't feel that like, oh, you're Goddess. I didn't feel that. I felt a motherly, I did feel motherly role with her, where she was very embracing with her energy and very embracing with her words and the way in which she spoke to me. Felt very soft and gentle, felt very loving, understanding. It was beautiful. You remember what message she had for you?

36:17 I just remember that first one very clearly. Just that it's okay to be yourself. Yeah, be yourself. Okay. All right, we teased earlier Freddie Mercury and some other names. How did those come up? Are these other people that you met? Yes, I did. Were they in this meeting or did you meet them somewhere else? Oh, well, Freddie Mercury wasn't there, but Prophet Muhammad was there. But yeah, we can fast forward into heaven. Well I don't want to go too fast. Is there more to tell about this experience in this meeting? Okay, so Goddess was sitting at the opposite end of the table from God and then immediately to her right was Sitting Bull and immediately to his right was White Eagle.

37:08 Now, I don't remember what Sitting Bull said to me unless I wrote it down somewhere years ago in my notes and I've kind of lost those in my divorce, but some of them I still have. I don't remember what he said, but I remember looking at White Eagle and White Eagle, my grandmother, my Catholic grandmother, when I was 14 or 15 had given me this little book called The Quiet Mind and it was written by White Eagle. The reason that she gave it to me was because my mother decided when I was 11 or 12 years old to start following Charan Singh, who was from India. He was Hindu and she would go to these things called Sot songs.

37:52 And you know, I went to some. It was very different than the Catholic Church. I mean, it was night and day different. Here I am thinking, I know of your name because of my grandmother. She looked at me and he said, Megan, he said, when you come across a white feather, I want you to ask yourself, are you doing or are you being? And as I'm standing there looking at him, I got really nervous. I got anxious because I thought, oh my gosh, he wants an answer. And this is what was going through my mind and my feelings. And I thought, she wants an answer. I hope I can give her an answer. And he stops me and he said, you don't have to answer me.

38:35 I just want you to think of it. I have never forgotten him saying that to me since the moment he said it to me. So it's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, such a great message. Then I remember this one time around the table where I was standing next to God and everybody would see it. When I'd go up to them, they'd all give me time to talk and answer their question or listen to their question to me. It was beautiful. But I looked at God and I'm standing next to him. He said, Megan, he said, I want you to think of yourself as the driver of your car.

39:18 He said, you're driving a car and I'm your passenger. He said, you're going to come to a fork in the road. Which way are you going to go? To the left or to the right? And I just stood there and looking at her. And he said, it doesn't matter which way you go. He said, I'm always going to be the passenger in your car. I thought, wow, wow, okay, wow. Because that was a fork in the road. I mean, being in head of this fork of road, right? Clearly you're going to make a beeline to that path. I did anyway. And anybody who I've ever met, and I've met quite a few people who've had near death experiences, it changes you drastically.

40:04 And after she said that to me, I remember looking at him absolutely respectfully. And I said, can I touch your face? And he said, yes. And I thought, oh, wow. So I reached out my right hand and I gently touched the left side of his cheek. I just wanted to touch his face, like with the back of my fingers, just gently laid my fingers on his cheek. It was so powerful to have done something like that. I was so grateful, and after I removed my hand, I looked at him and I smiled. And I said, now I can tell everybody that I've touched the face of God.

40:48 And he smiled at me, you know, as if, great, and I hope you do. It was that invitation to just share what I wanted to about God with everybody and everybody else who is at his table. So that was really neat. And remember, you know, after I got out of the hospital, and I'll get back to that in a second, but there's this song by Al Jarreau that I grew up listening to called Lornan. And if you listen to that song, there's a point where he says, and I touched the face of God. I believe that's the exact line, maybe not. But anyway, it would bring tears to my eyes.

41:28 After my near-death experience, I would all of a sudden hear that song. And then I'd start playing it for myself. Because I thought, oh, no, I need to hear that again. That's such a beautiful line. It was so true. So back into heaven, into temple, I remember there was another point where I was standing in front of this huge wooden door. And I described it to my friend yesterday as being like, you know, a castle door, in a sense where it was so huge, like 10, 12 feet tall, you know, but thick, thick wood with big, you know, bolts in it or whatever, in a huge handle. And that wooden door indicated to me somehow I knew.

42:14 Because as I stood before it, I said to God and everybody else, I said, you mean to tell me, as I looked at the door, I said, you mean to tell me, if I walk through that door, I can go into heaven and I don't have to go back to earth. And everybody, it was just, yes, everybody. It was unanimous, simultaneously, yes. And then I touched the door. I remember I touched the door and I looked back at everybody and I said, oh, well, now my Catholic guilt's kicking in. I said, there's no way I can go through that door. After everything that you've all shared with me, I said, it would just be a waste here. You know, I started jolting with the male, started laughing. You know, I'm not funny, but in heaven, I was hilarious for a minute, you know?

42:57 So I didn't go through the door, but then I don't remember at what point they brought me into heaven as a visitor. So I visited heaven and I remember a few things that happened while I was in there. What's beyond the doorway into heaven? That's where we'll pick up Megan's journey in part two of our discussion available later this week. Until then, I wish you everything that you're looking for in this life and the next.