#312 - Anne Bayford (UK) Is Struck By A Van Traveling 40 MPH

0:00 Welcome to Round Trip Death. On this show we have discussions with real people who have had near-death experiences. This is a safe, non-judgmental, non-denominational space where we all have something we can learn from others. While every NDE is different, one of the commonalities is that experiencers come back changed, and their lives going forward reflect that change. The question is, what will you and I learn from listening to their stories? We are happy to have with us today as our special guest, Anne Bayford from London. How is it over in London today?

0:47 Very dark, it's the evening right now. It's a little bit chilly, but spring is in the air, which is brilliant, and the trees are starting busting out with buds. You've got these little tiny flowers and purple flowers. It's brilliant. Thank God the chill is gone and the dark greenness is gone. It's all good, the sun is shining. I've been to London, and yes, I saw some of the rain and some of the gloom, but it is such a beautiful city and such a wonderful place to be. I'll bet you love it. Tell us just a little bit, before we get started talking about your near-death experiences, tell us about you. Who is Anne? Who is Anne? Wow, okay. Let's have a little look. Anne's had a little bit of a mixed up life, should I say.

1:32 Mum's been married three times. I've been introduced to so many religions from my background. My father, who is English, born in the UK, but he was interested in Buddhism. He left when I was about two years old as a toddler. Apparently, I found out I was a favourite to some degree. When he left, it was traumatic. I didn't realise it until later on when I did some work on myself. Then we had a very poor life. We were struggling. My mum was a single parent. We literally went to bed. We were starving hungry. We didn't have much food to eat.

2:15 I remember even having sugared sandwiches before we went to bed. She was really poor. We had no furniture. We literally had the floorboards that we were sat on. It was a difficult time. I think what kept me going was because of the animals. I love the animals that we have, dogs and cats, and guinea pigs and rabbits and everything else. Then she met my second dad, Italian Catholic. We then had money and we moved from our house, the council house, local authority house. We had a couple of houses in the country. We had horses. We used to go shooting and fishing and chopping up wood. Life felt blissful for a while.

2:56 As with anything, he was very wealthy and ended up having an addiction. Life then started to change again. There was a lot of violence. There was a lot of stuff that happened then when I was a child. She then divorced him and then we ended up living in a local authority house in the game. We went back to having no money. She was working through the night as a cleaner. My brother, who was older than me, used to look after us during the night. I remember the whole time that I survived this as a child was literally just because of the animals. I used to communicate with the animals. I thought it was quite normal to hear animals talking back, but I didn't say anything to anybody.

3:41 Then third dad came along, Jamaican Rastafarian. We lived in a very white area. There was a lot of predators. We moved then to a multicultural area. We had witnessed a lot of prejudice and us being shouted at and abuse as well because my stepdad was Jamaican. We had episodes of no money again. Times were tough, but the love my mum working really hard. I saw that from a young child of her working really hard. I remember my first pet, because it just came into my mind, so I must be sharing this. I remember my first pet wasn't a very fluffy thing. It was a snake and had a passion for reptiles and snakes.

4:21 I remember my 13th birthday going to buy that and things started changing for me then. I then started telling people I could hear animals talk and people just thought I was crazy, but whatever. I just went through that. As life went on, I became a zookeeper. I started working with tigers, lions, and bears and everything else. I then lived out in Kenya in a game reserve for a while as well. Animals were my thing. I have to stop you for a minute. What do you mean you hear animals talk? I'm thinking Dr. Doolittle here. Exactly. When I saw the film, I was like, yeah, well, that's normal. Why do they think that?

5:02 No, it's not. That's why it's a movie. Yeah. I used to talk in my head to the animal and used to hear information back. I don't know, it sounds ridiculous, but there were lots of different animals that were communicating with me that used to talk. I remember them saying when they were well, and I used to see images of people as well. I used to see animals when they were well. I used to tell their owners and they just look at me and think I was absolutely crazy as a child. That was quite normal, I just felt.

5:43 Then until my mom actually said to me, if you don't stop it, people are going to think you're crazy. Stop telling them that you can see their identity. Stop telling them that you can hear the animals talking to them. I stopped telling them. When I worked at the zoo, when we used to have sick animals, I remember I used to say to the vets when they couldn't find something physically wrong with the animal. I was like, well, could you just try touching the spine or there's something wrong with the kidneys? The vets used to just looked at me and just say, how do you know this? I'm like, it's just a gut instinct. From the moment I just came out, I just started hearing animals. It was quite normal. Okay, I have to ask, could they hear you? Did you communicate or just listen to what they had to say?

6:28 Oh, no, communication. Always. Even now, I communicate with them. They tell me. I literally walked down the road and I had dogs coming up to me by the side of my legs. Already, I'm like, what is it you want? I'm like, tell my owner that this hurts or tell my owner I don't like that food or tell my owner that that child pinches me. And I have it. I honestly have it because I'm a reiki healer as well. So I've had animals come to me and tell me everything about their owner and the family. I've worked with people where their dog has told me that, you know, they told me about the woman had a stillbirth or a miscarriage and everything. And the woman has told her pet dog or she sat there and cried with her pet dog and the dog then offloads onto me. They know I'm a counselor. Sorry.

7:15 Wow. All right. Next time I'm in London, we're going to the zoo or the park. We won't go to the zoo because I can hear they're quite depressed being locked up in the zoo beyond. Oh, they don't like the park and talk to a pigeon if you like or a squirrel. How about to the racetrack? Oh, we could have a guy. I went with that. Yeah, a little insight. All right. That's not the theme of our podcast. We like to talk about near death experiences here. And you've had three. That's not the record on the show, but that is a lot. Where would you like to start? You want to go chronologically with the first one or do you want to how do you want to start?

7:55 Okay. Yeah. Let's start from the beginning because I think it tells a story as we go along. Okay. It makes sense. So the first one happened in 2002. So 21 years ago in 2023. So yeah, about that. And I'm 54 now, so I must be in my 30s or something. And yeah, it's hard not to remember. It's so vivid and I can feel it when I talk about it. It's a real reminder. I'm a mum of two children. And I remember, you know, during that period of time, I was really unhappy in my relationship, felt really dissatisfied with life. I was working as a counselor myself and helping others, but I just didn't feel authentic in the sense of what I was going through in my relationship.

8:44 Anyway, so I was very happy in that relationship. But I did the main thing that you do as a parent. You take the children to school, you go to work, you come home, you pay your bills. And I started to get to the stage that there must be more to life than this. And that was the biggest thing that kept happening in my mind. There must be more to life than this. It just can't be every day. Wake up the same thing, the same thing. And I remember that day really clearly. And then sometimes there's a little bit of guilt there within me because I remember that day rushing, getting kids in the car, you know, rushing their breakfast. Come on, we're going to be late. And then going to the school, dropping them off at the gate, saying goodbye to them. And I remember that day, I nearly didn't say goodbye to them, give them a kiss. I was like really rushing because we were running late.

9:30 And thank God I kissed them on the, you know, their forehead and gave them a hug and everything. And, you know, as a parent, we want to think about we're doing this. We keep saying we're doing this for our children. We're going to work for the children to give them better clothes or better shoes. And I remember that was in the back of my head to give them more than I ever had. And that was what I thought. That's what you're meant to do as a parent. And so that day, I remember it really well. And I left them at the school gate. So part of my car got on the train, went into London, worked in the office on this project I was working for. And as the day was going by, I was doing what I was doing. And it just seemed like any other regular day. There was nothing unusual about it, to be honest, that I recall at all.

10:15 And I think that's how it was meant to be. I would think it was meant to be. That was not unusual. It was a normal, typical day. And I remember it got to about two o'clock in the afternoon. And so I could pick up the children. I always made it in my mind that I'd work part time. So I'd do a little bit of work, then go home and then look after the children, do the chores and everything else, thinking that was the ideal mother. And so it came to about two o'clock. I had to write a letter about a client so that I had to refer her to another service so that we could get her more help. And I remember I typed out on the computer, printed out the letter, put it in the envelope, and I said goodbye to everybody in this community center. It was for the elderly.

11:00 There was a one o'clock club there and they were all saying goodbye. See you tomorrow. I was waving to everyone, see you tomorrow. And I remember leaving the office and thinking, oh, God, checking my watch. I'm going to be late. I'm going to be late. Always trying to pack in so much into our days. And I was like, should I go straight, get the train and not have a paper to read on the train and not post the letter to this client and wait till I get home to where I lived in a different area? Or should I cross the road and post the letter and buy the newspaper? So all these things were really important. This is what led to what happened next. And I remember I got to the crossing and I remember I didn't press the button. Somebody pressed the button. I remember thinking, oh, OK, if the green man as the pedestrian crossing came up, I'd cross the road.

11:46 And it did. It was bleeping. And then it was about five of us on that side of the road. I was on the pavement waiting. And again, my head was thinking, OK, I've got to get the children. I've got to cross the road. Do I get my newspaper? Do I go straight to the letter box or do I go and buy the newspaper, which is to my right hand side? I never just kept on thinking this. There was an island in the middle of the pedestrian crossing where you'd stop to see if it was safe to cross. And I remember I was looking both ways and it was safe to cross. And then before the van hit me, I heard the sentence, everything's going to be OK.

12:32 And it seems really strange because it wasn't a fault that came from my brain. Now, I studied psychology before this accident and I believed in science and I didn't believe in, to some degree, when people say that near-death experiences, I thought it was the chemicals that hit the brain. This is why people think like this. So when I was hearing a voice saying, everything's going to be OK, I was then questioning, why has this just jumped into my head? Why am I hearing this? And then the voice sounded familiar. It was my nan's voice who had looked after me. As my mum had gone through loads of divorces and everything, we had domestic violence. My stepdad was an alcoholic and I took the brunt of some of the domestic violence.

13:16 So I used to live with my nan on and off. When she died when I was 15, it was quite traumatic. It was like losing my mum. So it made sense in a way for her to step forward in spirit, to be there, to hold my hand, to take care of me at that particular moment. So I heard her voice and I was questioning it like, nan, where are you? And I was like, this doesn't make sense because my physical form, my physical body was at the pedestrian crossing. I was looking around me and it was safe to cross. Everybody was around me and I just couldn't understand why was I hearing her voice. But it didn't come through as in my head, like when you think about doing what chores you need to do or what's your next step.

13:59 It just came from almost like I could hear it in my ear. And then the next thing I know, I just felt very warm and I was surrounded with this white light around me. That was that part of me, that this white light, this warmth, it felt as if I was being held in a duvet cover, in a blanket to keep me warm, to keep me safe. I felt incredibly safe and felt at home. I couldn't explain it. I felt this feeling that I'd come back home. It was a very strong feeling that I've come back home and I couldn't quite understand it. I was still trying to sort of, where am I? What's happening?

14:41 But all I could hear was my nan's voice saying, I think it's going to be okay. And I just felt her, like her arms holding me and helping me. Now the other part of me, the physical part of Anne had stepped out onto the crossing. And what happened was she had just said before she said everything's going to be okay, but she also said to me, I was questioning her. She said, go and get the newspaper. And in my mind I was like, why would I get the newspaper first? Because that meant I'd have to change direction. I wasn't walking straight across the road and I hate going back on myself. Now by her keep insisting, go and get the newspaper, because then I turn and I went in my mind, okay, I'll go get the newspaper first.

15:26 It changed my body's direction. So I went off more to my right hand side. And that was a key part of what happened next. If I'd gone straight across the road to post the letter in the letterbox, which I was going to do, that was my intention to go straight across the crossing. The police later said that I would have gone straight through the windscreen and I would have probably decapitated my head. Whereas because I'd had all my body weight on my right foot, because she had said go by the newspaper, I'd had to go to the shop to the right hand side of me walking across the pedestrian crossing. My whole body weight was on my right foot. And yes, my foot got ripped and there was a lot of injuries, but that saved me from having my head being decapitated.

16:11 So the physical part of me had turned to the right hand side and then the van had gone into my left hand side of my body. And later on, the police report said that my body had flown across in the air about 40 feet and landed down on the road on the right hand side. And it was run about 40 miles per hour, which is pretty fast. There had been a red light for the vehicle to stop, but the gentleman had been on his mobile phone and he just drove straight through me. Now, what I found difficult to understand was that there were five other people that were walking across the road at that time and not one person got injured.

16:54 But yeah, I felt as if someone was standing by my side. So it was an interesting what happened. So I ended up on the right hand side of my body, physical form, laying there. And I didn't feel any pain at all. Nothing. My physical body didn't feel any pain at that point. I just felt very warm, as if somewhere else, as if I just totally had detached. What happened physically was that people were screaming. Somebody said they were screaming. I later heard the scream and people had run out from the shops. It was a busy high street. People had run out from the shops. Traffic had stopped. Someone had phoned up for an ambulance.

17:38 This was all going on in the background. But the me that had been hit with the van, I was just somewhere totally different. I wasn't there. So I felt this white light all around me. It wasn't bright where I didn't have to squint my eyes. I just remember just being in a safe space. But what was strange when I look back at it and I've done some work on this because I had post-traumatic stress for ages. I had nightmares and the shock in my body went on for some time after the incident happened, was there was part of me that ended up sitting in the cab of the lorry that was on the other side of the road.

18:18 There was part of myself or whatever that had sat in. It was trying to make sense of the situation. It was like as if I was being pulled backwards and forwards, as if I couldn't understand exactly what was happening. Part of me felt as if I needed to see what was going on. So part of me was in the cab of this lorry driver. He was sitting there. My physical form wasn't there. But I remember feeling as if I was floating in the cab. I didn't feel my physical body at all. And he was talking on the control thing on his radio control thing saying, there's been an accident. He was swearing. But he was telling the city woman basically has got herself knocked down.

19:03 And so very unsympathetic. Like it's your fault, right? Yeah. And they're like, you know, you plan this every day to walk out and step out in front of a van. How bad was your physical body hurt? When I had my body weight on my right foot, it had twisted around because the impact of the van on my left hand side, it had framed me up in the end, twisted me around my foot. My ankle had ripped out. I ended up having operations on my ankle to re-put it back into position. I had chipped bones in my ankle. I had my tendons and nerve damage in there. So I had to have lots of operations later to fix it. I had seven breaks in my foot. My knee had chipped as the impact had gone down on my knee cap.

19:49 So it chipped my right knee cap. I damaged my cartilage. It was torn. My cartilage was damaged. My right hip, it was, I had a fracture in the pelvis on that side. I had fractures to my right ribs on my rib cage and my left because it took the impact. My kidneys were bleeding. My spleen was bleeding. My gallbladder had to later be removed. I had internal bleeding. I hadn't hit my head or anything. But they said the impact my organs had been traveling at that same speed or even faster in my body when the van had hit me, it took two years in a wheelchair and then a further two years to learn to re-walk again with a walking stick.

20:34 Learning to be disabled was difficult because people, even when they spoke to me when I was in the wheelchair, my son who was five and my daughter who was seven at the time, when they used to push the wheelchair, people used to shout and sort of say, are you okay? And I remember my daughter saying once, she's not to death. She's just broken a few bones. She's okay. She can hear you. And there was a lot of discrimination on how I was treated. So that was difficult for those four years learning to re-walk again and the determination like, yep, no, I'm walking again. It was hard. It was very hard. Yeah. So was there anything else in the spiritual realm that you remember?

21:14 Oh, yeah. Seeing or feeling? Keep going. I remember it feeling warm, bright light. And I remember that I was being told information and that was really strong. It was as if that to remind me why I'd come here on the planet at this time. It was to remind me of my sole purpose. I'd gone through all my childhood and all the trauma of that. And I'd had loads of counseling over the years and just thought if this is it, I don't want to be here anymore. And I'd had moments where as a child wanted to die, I didn't want to be here anymore. And I remember in that realm, it felt like a semi-circle.

21:57 I was standing off books and corridors and hallways. And I remember standing there and I was still doubting where I was. I didn't know. I didn't understand as a human where I was. And I remember that someone was communicating with me. And telling me information. And I remember looking down and thinking, where's their feet? Why are they wearing a robe? They were like hovering around me and I couldn't understand. I was always one of those children that asked so many questions. And when I was there, I was still asking so many questions. And I remember that there was a couple of individuals around me that I couldn't make sense exactly who they were at the time.

22:37 I mean the work I do now, working with Light Council and Trance Work, I know that they were my guides. And at the time I didn't know they were my guides at all. But they were there to hold my space for me, to help me, to make me to understand. And I remember while I was there, I remembered it felt like a library of information. And I remember them pulling out documentation. And I remember one of them pulled out a big scroll. It was just curled up sort of like, it wasn't paper. It's hard to explain. Like a waxy sort of substance. But when they unrolled it and then they laid it out on like a table, it was almost like an architectural drawing of lines.

23:22 And I remember feeling it was like lifelines of when certain things were meant to happen to me in my life. I knew it was about me and I knew individuals who I was going to meet. They were showing me this. But it was as if they weren't drawn pencil lines. It was almost as if the lines were lifted up from this sort of rubbery, waxy material, like paper but not paper. And it was being lifted up to show me. And I knew then that I'd also lived past lives because they'd show me that. It was almost as the human I felt baffled. It was an overload of all this information. But I remember looking around and there was so many individuals there of guides that I know that they are guides.

24:07 Now, I didn't know that at the time because just kept seeing loads of images passing me by. But knowing they had so much wisdom and just felt there was so much knowledge. And I also got the impression that there were others like myself that were there also that were waiting to be told or instructed or told your purpose and why you must return back. And that was the biggest thing that I was told that I had to come back. I hadn't finished. I was here to serve. I was meant to serve. And I was going to bring back some knowledge and some information. And it felt as if I was receiving information that was like an upload or an upgrade of information for me to know.

24:54 And I just remember feeling that I felt so at home there that I just didn't want to return. But I knew I was being told I needed to return back to Earth. But I just didn't want to return. I wanted to stay there. I felt so much love. And I felt a part of everything, part of one, part of everything around me. It's like feeling one with the universe. It's really hard to explain. But I just felt as if I felt so connected and part of one, part of everything. There were corridors and corridors of information and so many books. And I remember a large book that was opening up in front of me. And as the book opened up, the pages opened up, and it was as if there was images dancing, all the images, just 3D images that had come out of the book.

25:38 And again, I was told this information. And I just felt as if I had to absorb it all. There was just so much information I needed to absorb. So it was really as if like a giant reset that I just needed to have this information sort of downloaded to me. But I felt my none there. But it just felt as if it was a location where guides, angels, everything of light beings were there waiting. It felt as if that, I don't know, would I say judgment? But it was almost like people weighing up their lives there when they went to visit there. It was like them weighing up their lives, recalling what they'd done in life as if they were not being judged, but have they quite finished?

26:21 Do they need to return back? Like other probably near-death people who'd have accidents happen to them. It was almost like a, I don't know about a waiting area, but it's like, are you ready to go back or are you ready to cross over? There was something there, like all this information to help you to process, to say deciding whether you had done everything that you had done or meant to do. But it just felt like a library. And when I look back in, as a child, the place I felt most comfortable in was this old-fashioned library, which was down the road from where I lived. And it was wooden and the smell of books. And I remember that was the smell that I could smell when I was there.

27:02 It was this smell of books. And I love books. I love flicking through the pages. So it just felt as if I was, as a child now, I know that going to the library and resourcing all these books and wanting to learn, it was like wanting to absorb all this information, which I did when I'd had this experience. So that's what I felt when I was there. But there was also when my partner had physically seen my body, he ran down the road and touched my head. When I saw my physical body, I didn't know it was even me. It was as if I was somewhere else looking down and feeling his emotions. And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my physical body because I was somewhere else.

27:46 It was as if I could, I had one foot in one plane or dimension and another foot somewhere else. I was deciding whether to return or not. And that's how it felt. But I feel the pull was really the love, the connection with my children. And I hadn't quite finished yet my journey. And that's why I feel I was pulled back. Yeah, I still remember it's like as if it happened yesterday. Yeah, that's vivid. And I can see memory coming back to your head as you're talking and thinking about it. That's really interesting. Was there any kind of a feeling going back into your body? Oh, it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Oh, my God. Oh, because I had this guilt for such a long time because I'm a mother.

28:29 I should have wanted to return to be with my children. Part of me did. And then when I did return, it was like I wanted to be on the other side still. But what happened was when the paramedics arrived, they were cutting my clothes off. And it's funny, I could hear them talking to my physical ear, but remember feeling I wasn't in my physical body. When my partner had come to see me on the road, I was laying on the road. When he placed his hand on my head, I heard his thoughts. And all he could think about was what was going to happen or how could he manage looking after the children. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, he doesn't even love me.

29:10 That was one of the thoughts I had. No, but he thought you were dead, it sounds like. Well, yeah, that's true. But, you know, we'd had previous history before then, so it made sense in his full process. He had his hand on my head, I couldn't feel his hand to some degree, the physical hand, but there was this link that I could feel his energy. And then I cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. So they electrocuted my heart, made the heartbeat happen. And when they did that, then it was like being in a themed water park where you slide down the water tube, you're spiraling down in a water theme park.

29:56 That's how I felt. It was this white light rushing past me as I was just gaining this speed of sliding and twisting and turning and coming like a corpse through, of energy of coming back into my physical form. And then I also noticed the change in the feeling of the coldness because it was in March, it was cold. I hadn't felt my physical body when I was in the other realm. And then when I came back into my body, I was trembling with shock and I could physically feel the pain of my foot, my foot had been ripped out of my ankle. And I remember just sobbing and crying.

30:36 It was almost like, no, I don't want to be here, but I could feel the pain. Now, when I landed in my body, it was as if it felt like a thump, but that also might have been the electric shock with the paddles they put on your heart that was the thump. When they caught me into the ambulance, I was almost, well, I was out of my body. I was looking down at my body again. I wasn't in the other realm, but I was out of my body looking at them, putting me on the stretcher inside the ambulance. And the drive to the hospital, they had the blue lights and the sirens. And I remember being out of my body and looking down at the top of the ambulance and seeing the number on the top of the ambulance.

31:20 They were going to airlift me by helicopter, but they didn't do that in the end. But I remember when they got me into, gosh, I feel really emotional. When they got me into hospital, the crash team came in. There were three lots of different teams of doctors working on my body. I'm sorry, I always feel a bit emotional when this happens because I just remember so strongly that I didn't want to return to Earth. And I could see what they were doing to my physical body. And, you know, as a kid, I mean, my mom actually did say this to me. I have to mention it because this is one of those things that came up. As a child, you always sort of told what I was told, I hope you got clean underwear on just in case you get knocked down.

32:02 And they always say it's a joke or something. That's moms all over the world that say that, by the way. I think you're right. And I remember hearing that in my head from my mom that was playing out like a movie in my head. And this was happening. I was out of my body. It was in crash in A&E and we had a team of doctors that were cutting off my clothes. So I was just naked. There was no embarrassment because I was not even in my body at that time. And I remember looking down and it was a funny thing. There was an expensive bra I'd bought and they cut through my bra.

32:42 And I was like, oh, that bra, I've only worn it a couple of times. But I wasn't actually physically in my body. I was just looking down at it and I remember the sense of feeling into the doctors' energies and the nurses. I could feel they were quite worried whether I was going to make it. My heart was up and down and flat lining a little bit on and off. And I just remembered that I didn't feel the physical pain of what they were doing, whether that was because they put drugs on me, I have no idea. But I'd lifted out my body looking down at the crash team and how they were working with x-rays and putting drips into me and putting, you know, to check my heart and, you know, blood pressure and stuff.

33:25 And then once they had done that, everything had been done and it had been put into plaster and I was put onto a ward, intensive care. And I felt my nan's presence by me the whole time. And the nurse had said once I started to recover, she said that she could see that my right hand was squeezing every soft and opening and closing my hand. And I said, where's my nan? And she said there was no one, no one has been here. But in spirit form, her energy was sitting by my side the whole time that got me through it. So, yeah. That's comforting. Yeah, it really is. Going back to talking about going back into your body, I can't imagine the shock of feeling so warm and comfortable and peaceful and then just all of a sudden the pain.

34:12 And you're laying on the street and it's cold and yeah, people are probably yelling and screaming and all kinds of stuff. I would be happy to take another half hour with this story, but I know the best is yet to come. You have more to talk about. So is there any more with this first NDE that you want to cover before we move on? No, I mean, it was life changing, definitely life changing. It was a real wake up call having that experience and I couldn't totally understand why. And I remember I was questioning it quite a lot. And I remember I was going to church at the time and I was speaking to the vicar and I remember him turn around and saying, I said to him, I'd had post-traumatic stress, I had constant of the shock coming up again about what had happened.

34:54 But I also had images of where it had been and I was trying to live with the images of having that information. I remember speaking to my vicar, saying to him, I was shown this information. I was shown this. I'm sure there was angels there and him saying to me, that's not what we believe in. And that's when I totally stepped away from the church that I'd been in. So there was that that was going on because it just the whole time of recovering, which was years, I just had flashbacks to where I'd been and I wanted to be there. So often I had I felt my body leaving and traveling to be there, but I couldn't quite get there. And I remember feeling I can't quite get there.

35:34 And they was telling me that you're not dead. That's why you're not here. You're not able to come to where we are. And I remember that quite a lot. So I felt between between worlds to a certain degree and trying to live back on the human planet again, which was really difficult. But yeah. And that's a very normal thing to go through an experience after an NDE like this. And it's normal to even doubt that. Wait, did it happen? It sounds crazy. But yes, I know it happened. It was so real. But you even it's normal to doubt all of those things and to figure out how to deal with it. Because who do you go to that can really help you process what you've just been through?

36:19 Yeah. You're so right. That's the thing. That's the biggest thing at the time. When this happened, there wasn't much that I could find. YouTube was not the fashionable thing to go and find out information or Spotify or none of that at all. There was no podcast, nothing I could turn to. And that's why I feel so passionate about sharing my story. Because people today who experience this, then you can then seek out resources, information to know you're not crazy. At the time I thought I was going crazy. And to find out there are other people that have had this experience. And also for you to realize that there is more than what we see. It's really about believe and you shall see.

36:59 But as the human, we're told that through whatever, whether it's religion or whatever it is, that certain things don't exist. Which, for the work I do, it does. And for my experience and for the other people, it's not just me who's had this experience. People like yourself who are doing these interviews, you're coming across more. And the more we get this out, then it gives hope to people to know, one, there is a relative working on the other side who will come through to meet you. So you don't feel scared, that you feel safe, that it will take you through. And I know I have been a soulmate wife for a while and I've helped people who have passed in over. I've been by their side to help them to say, I can see your husband's waiting at the end of your bed. That happened to me recently with my auntie.

37:41 I could see her husband as a psychic medium. I could see that. So near-death experiences and to share it is so that you don't feel fearful, so that you know there is evidence of your loved ones on the other side and to know that it's okay. It doesn't hurt when you die. When you pass through, it doesn't hurt. It's your physical body that has your sensory that feels the pain. But when you're in and out of consciousness or when you're transitioning, it's not painful. And it's so simple. It's so easy. It's not hard work. It's like passing through a doorway. And I take clients through that doorway either from working with them as spirit on the other side or for people that are dying slowly on this side.

38:25 And that's why I love what I do because I've experienced it and I know that's my purpose while I'm here. And you don't have to have an NDA to have, you know, feel all these experiences, other ways of connecting and finding there is more to life than what it is. So this is important. It goes out. It's easy to move on. It's a lot harder to come back, it sounds like, and more painful. Yeah, it is a little more. One thing that you mentioned before we started recording today was that prior to this, you did not believe in angels. Yeah. After this, you did. Please explain. Right. Okay. Well, of course. After the first near-death experience, I didn't really know if I believed in angels still.

39:07 So I was still questioning it. It was the second NDA that happened that I'd been diagnosed with a lung condition. It wasn't just asthma. There was scarring on my lungs and I'd been given a medication that really was unhelpful. And one of the days that this happened nine years ago, my lung collapsed. I'd had a chest infection. I had pneumonia and it collapsed. And thankfully, my daughter was around and she was in her teens. And I remember feeling very, very unwell. And even then, I was questioning it. I was sitting on the sofa in her bedroom and I remember feeling short of breath.

39:47 And I thought, I don't want to die. I have two children. Gosh, it makes me emotional. Two children. I'm a mom. I'm here for my children. I haven't finished my purpose. I know I'm here to serve. Why is this happening? I need some help. And I remember I sat there and I looked up. You know, I believe in God. I don't believe in religion, but I believe in God. And I remember sitting there and I was like, God, will you just help me? For God's sake, I need some help. Somebody, are you there? I actually did do this. And I look back, I think, oh my God, how can I doubt? He must be so fed up with me by now. The universe, God, the divine, whatever you want to call it.

40:29 And I remember sitting there and my lung had collapsed. I knew I felt very uncomfortable in my chest. I couldn't breathe. And I felt this massive thump by the side of me. And I felt really scared. And I didn't want to turn to the right-hand side of me because I was like, oh no, what's happened? What have I done? Because, you know, there's times you say, for God's sake, can you help me? And nothing happens. You know, oh. And you get on with it. But I felt this thump by the side of me. And to the right-hand side, I just didn't want to turn my face to turn around to look. Because I felt there was this sensation of there was something there, some sort of structure.

41:10 And even now, when I talk about it, I'm like, oh, how can I explain this? I turned around to the right-hand side and I had this image and I saw this. And when I'm saying this, I think, oh my God, I can't believe I'm sharing this, but I am. It felt as if there was this structure felt as strong as stone. And it felt as tall as, say, 30, 60 foot. It was huge. And I remember seeing the structure and it was in the shape and form of a figure of a came across the gender as a man. And I saw wings that were not out, but they were sort of folded in.

41:52 And I remember he had his hands shaped figure resting on his forehead and looking down. And he had one knee. He was kneeling beside me. God, I think they were kneeling beside me. My God. Kneeling beside me. And he said, how may I assist you? And I remember hearing that. And it chokes me up because to think that he requests a presence or some assistance from God, the cheek of it. I'm just human for God's sake. Why should I say that? Sorry. I'm saying you have an angel that's kneeling beside you. And it looked like the strength of a stone stature or marble stature.

42:37 And I just remember the presence. I was like, I'm standing in the presence of an angel, which I found really hard to believe when it happened. I was in shock. And I couldn't breathe. I just couldn't breathe. And I said, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. And then I remember my daughter said that she heard a sound. She was in the kitchen downstairs. She ran up and she said, I heard a sound. What's happened? She looked at me and I was turning blue in the face. And then she then called the ambulance. She couldn't see the angel, but I remember feeling the angel presence by my side. It was almost as if, again, where I wasn't fully in my body that I could have the feeling of this angel by my side and see the angel. And I remember the ambulance arrived and then they called the oxygen and I was sent off to hospital.

43:32 But I remember the whole time, this was the introduction law being introduced to one of my angels that helped me and helps me now with the work that I do. But yeah, until that time, I didn't really believe in angels. So when you say introduced, does this angel have a name? How do you know this? You said it was male. Yeah, I was told I am Michael and I was like, oh my goodness. And then I was introduced to Archangel Metrodon as well. And I thought, I've never heard of you before. Even though you are. And that's when I started studying about angels and starting to become aware of who they are, what they do.

44:12 I'm not an expert on angels at all, but you know, I had a visitation. Who are they? What do they do for us? Right. Well, funny you should say that. Okay. They just said you can hear and see loved ones that come forward. When you ask for assistance, your loved ones can step forward. It's almost like from the realm they come from, it's like quite angelic. So it's hard to explain. As in you might see your loved one as your angels. Some humans sort of see their loved ones as their angels and they can be angels to you as well. Then you have your archangels and there are a number of archangels which come to serve their purpose and to help humanity.

44:52 But archangels cannot intervene unless they are requested or asked to help. So you have to ask for assistance from them for them to actually help you. The day of the accident when I got knocked down, it was different. It was different angels as in my grandmother came through as an angel as such. She came to assist me, but when I asked for, when I said for God's sake, I need some help, I asked for assistance and I had them. So archangels can intervene. They really help also to guide us, to guide us free, to help us over, to help us in the times when we need strength the most. When I work with archangel Mettredon, it's very much about how I work with the cashier records. It's almost as if that I need to work alongside archangel Mettredon to ask permission to work.

45:37 And archangel Mettredon is very much about helping humanity and bridging the other realms that we have. So they are there. We just need to ask for their assistance, but how they've been portrayed through generations, through architect or history or within certain religions, we've almost lost connection to some degree. But they're there to assist us. They guide us. They guide us over to the next realm and protect us if we need them to protect. So it sounds like some like Nan, am I calling her the right term? Yes. Is it Nan or your Nan? Nan is fine. Nan is fine.

46:17 So Nan's a family member. These other angels are not. Why are some family and some not? With my Nan, because of my love connection with her, she came through in that spiritual sense of her. Her essence of her came forward to assist me. But her as that angelic, she came through as like an angel energy. So you can't truly define her as an angel as such. It's more about how humans see their relatives as they're an earth angel or they're an angel that comes to connect them. So some people will see them as angels. Not a true angel definition I just heard.

47:00 The other angels, historically they've come through and they just said, the day of your soul or when you're being created or when you come to the planet, it's almost as if with light counsel and angels are part of the light counsel. It's almost the define of or look at what you're meant to be doing on this realm. It's like they know when they're going to come in to help you or interject at any given time. So me having the accident, it was already written in the blueprint that that was going to happen that day and who was going to assist me. And me asking for help when my lung collapsed, it was like that was how I was meant to make connection with Archangel Michael.

47:42 So angels are always around us from the day that even before way before we are conceived is when the soul decides what it needs to do on the planet Earth. It's like already angels are there to help you on the planet Earth because this is the school. And I didn't even realize at the time this is where we learn. This is where we talk so much on the Earth because we are humans. We've got our censories. Our soul doesn't have the senses. It's when our soul comes into our human vessel, the vehicle, the human vessel is where I have all the senses so that it feels things. It feels love. It feels pain. The soul doesn't feel it. The soul needs the humaness to come in the human vessel.

48:22 So, yeah, our angels are there way before they go through time, endless time. There is no concept of time anyway. They just said, sorry, I'm hearing them the same time as I'm talking to you. OK, and we could talk about that. We'll come back to that maybe. That must be confusing when you're talking to somebody and you're hearing something else also. Help me. They guide me. So that's the role that I do now. So, yeah, I always welcome them. They always because as I don't know enough information, I don't have the knowledge. They have the knowledge. They can answer the questions because they have all the information. I've only read a few books. I try purposely not to read over read too much because I don't want to hear that information from that author.

49:08 No disrespect for them. I'd rather hear straight from source information. Right. OK, near death experience number three. Oh, yes, hearts. So I went to have an operation at a hospital and I remember it was fine. And they did all the checks. They remember I have this procedure done and I was in the operating theater. You know, when they put the mask on your face and you're getting ready and you're counting backwards and the gas in the air, blah, blah, blah. That happened. Then that was it. I was just off and I was like, I was having the operation. And I remember in the operating theater, you know, I had the staff I saw in the beginning that were around me, the surgeon, the anesthetist and everything. Next minute, all I heard was I was in a white space. There were no walls.

49:53 It was just an endless white space. And I remember feeling that I've done something wrong. I felt like a child. I mean, this only happened five years ago. So when I was 50 and I remember I was there and again, I remember I was standing and I remember this individual that came towards me. And I remember looking and thinking how odd he looked. And I remember his haircut and he had a strange fringe across the top part of his forehead. So it hadn't even come down to his eyebrows. And it was very peculiar haircut. I remember thinking he had this very thinned, rimmed metal glasses, circular, a bit like Harry Potter sort of style.

50:33 And I remember he was wearing these glasses and he had this white, very original, white uniform. It felt like it was a uniform and he had it buttoned up to the left hand side. But I remember part of it had fallen down or it crossed over or folded down to his chest. He reminded me of a dentist. It was like, oh, where am I now? I remember I was not in the operating theater of being in London. I was like, oh dear, what have I done? Why am I here? Why am I here again? You've been through this before. Yeah. Do you know that this person is that you refer to as he?

51:13 Right. Okay. He is like, he reminds me like a not a gatekeeper, maybe a guy, something like that. But he was like, he keeps saying he had a flip chart. And I remember I forgot that. They just were on a flip chart. So it's like they had like a list of who was coming through on that day. Who was going to pass through. I won't say the plenty of gates, but he was going to pass through on that day. I remember he looked at me and he looked really cross at me and he was pointing his finger at me and he said, it's not time. You've got to go back. Why are you here again? Go back. It's not time. Like it's just your fault. Come on, Anne. It's the human body. What can I do?

51:54 And I remember thinking, oh no, I've disappointed someone again. What have I done? And I felt like I was at school. I thought I was five years old. And I remember him looking over his right hand shoulder and he was going, I'm telling her to go back. She knows. I will have a word with her. And he's talking to somebody else. I never knew who that other person was or whatever that energy was. But I know he was saying, you've got to go back. He was so flustered. It's like, you're not on my list. You're not coming in. No, go back. Just remember feeling, oh, for goodness sake. And again, I felt warm. It was very white. It didn't hurt my eyes.

52:35 And I just remember standing and I was like, okay, I'm going to go back. It was always if I jumped a queue or something. And I remember all of a sudden that I could hear these bells ringing. And that's key because your hearing is the last thing that goes before you actually leave your body. That's the last sensory thing that you have is your hearing. And I remember hearing the bells ringing because going back, they're calling you back, going back. And I remember then I just jumped back into my body. And again, I paddled my heart and I had stopped. And the room was blue and there was all these nurses. They were female and the doctors were female.

53:17 And I said, I came out and I was like, where is he? And they turned and said, what? They looked shocked. I said, where is he? And they said to me, where is who? And I was like, well, where's that man that told me to come back? And she said, oh, she put her hand in there, laid in her hand. She said, oh, no. And the anesthetist came over to me and she said, you gave us a shock. Your heart stopped. And I was like, well, what do you mean? And they went, you popped out of your body. And I was like, oh. And to them, it was, I think, two or three minutes. Now the car, the van that hit me originally, it was a seven minute stop. But this one was a two or three minutes.

53:58 And yeah, but it didn't feel like that time for very different. I felt I was there for ages. And yeah, so I popped it off and came. So there we are. How dare you? You're just you're really you're really upsetting people up there by doing this too often. It sounds like prematurely. I know I'm not on their time schedule. I need to sort myself out. It's crazy. OK, between these three and ease, did you have any kind of a life review? You did talk about a scroll earlier on. Yeah. Tell us about life review. OK, the first one had sort of looked at it actually show me lots of my past lives, which I hadn't realized they were my past lives.

54:38 So they had gone through past lives, the connection with certain souls or humans that I have now in this lifetime. They had gone through and told me about some of the life lessons that I'd learned from there and just to remind me to catch up. They had shown me also in this lifetime, they'd gone flicked through like flicking through book pages of the abuse had gone through and the domestic violence had gone through as a child. They had shown those as well. It was really to remind me as well as a child. I remember when I used to lay in bed, it was like I used to astral travel and astral project. So I would sometimes lay there looking at the wall and the wall would disappear and I'd sort of travel.

55:25 And I'd forgotten about that, but that had reminded me. And I remember feeling also and they'd show me that how I used to fly as a child wasn't dreams. It was like being somewhere else, I'd went to other countries and I'd forgotten that. So it's almost as if that at some point, I think being a teenager when my mom had said to me, stop telling people, I sort of shut down to my gifts that I had that I could see humans and I could see the forecast what was to come in the future, that predictions. So having that, they were showing me all my gifts that I'd had and where I'd lived in many previous lifetimes and the shapes and forms I'd been male, female and died differently.

56:07 So it was really showing me and then also they were showing me what was to come, my journey. And I remember the biggest thing when I returned back to my body, it was like a feeling of amnesia. Like I know there was things I needed to remember in the future, but I couldn't, I didn't understand what they were. I'd forgotten. It was a bit like when you're a baby and you come through the birth canal and you don't remember your past lives or you don't remember all the information your soul needs to remind you of when you're here as the human. But each time there's been a near death experience, I've been through this threism that I've gained more information. Now, nobody knows this, friends know this. We're in February, 2023 and it's a year yesterday that I had a seizure, a first seizure and I had a brain bleed. I had a mini stroke that was last February, 2022.

56:59 Now, I couldn't do anything in that month. I didn't die. I remember that. I didn't feel I had a body, but I know it was a big shock for me. And I was told through working with my guides, it was like them rewiring my brain. So there was just more information that I had to have that I needed to do the work that I do now. And I knew that was going to come from a prediction they had given me some time ago. So I'm trying to understand a little bit more. You saw some of the future, but you couldn't remember what it all was, right? Yes, that's correct. Because I had to as a human to experience certain things like stepping stones, like breadcrumbs to remind with.

57:42 That's interesting. As I hear things like that from people, I've heard some people tell me things like, Hey, I learned about the whole creation of the earth and the universe, but I can't remember it. I know I learned it, but I can't remember what it was. Or I learned everything about quantum physics. And I know that I knew all of it. I can't remember very much of it. I learn it quickly. You know, things like that. It's like remembering now. Yeah, it's the work that I do now that as a trance medium and everything else I do now and past life regression work. And when I run my retreats, when I channel and like counsel, when I'm sitting with like counsel, I'm channel like, Oh, guys, you're back. I can feel you. Okay.

58:30 22 years ago, I was being shown this and I could feel their presence, but I couldn't work it out. And then now I do. I've been channeling for like last five years. I can feel the light counsel. They're all beings like angels and other beings that are there. And all the great teachers that we've had on our planet, Jesus, Buddha and everybody that are there with me. And I'm like, Oh, guys, you're stepping forward. I can feel you again. Thanks for coming back. And now I know that they're there. And I was showing that 20 something years ago, but I was not ready as the human then. It would have been an overload on the mind for me to have known the information then I had to go through the disability, had to learn to rewalk again. I had to go through my human stuff of my relationship, my life with my children.

59:14 Can you imagine if I brought all that back in one hit and stayed to my children? Okay. I'm now going to start channeling light bins, but I don't know who I really am. I needed to investigate. I needed to train as a psychic medium. I needed to find this information out. And it goes on the speed of you. The time concept that we have, you know, took me so many years. I mean, I think it was about, I don't know, six years after that, that I started reading more books about clairvoyance and learning about angels and stuff. So now I'm ready as Alan to receive this information. So yes, you come back with amnesia, almost like knowing there's something else to do, but you're not quite sure.

59:55 When you're ready, when your soul is ready, when you've gone through your human experiences and you've gone through it, then it starts unfolding in front of you. So now I can sit with light counsel and talk and communicate and then pass me information on and there's more information to come. I'm channeling more and more of what's going on on the planet and what's to come. So I'm ready now. I wasn't ready then. Well, and it's good that we don't come back too overloaded. Yes. Right. I mean, it's kind of a blessing that it's maybe we remember it a little bit at a time or have to deal with it a little bit at a time, because like you said, after your first near death experience, there was a lot to process.

1:00:36 That was very difficult emotionally, mentally, as well as all the physical that you were going through. How else has your life changed since the first experience? How about relationships? You mentioned the male partner you had back then. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And even then, it took me a long time to come out of the relationship because I went I kept on going for a little bit longer, thinking that I could change this person and not realize and understanding that actually that we were meant to have that relationship so that I could then turn around and say, Hey, the relationship is finished. I needed to grow more. So I needed to do more work on myself. So not in that relationship anymore. Thank God.

1:01:17 Sorry. I am literally thank God. I'm not in that relationship anymore. And I'm the happiest ever because of my life has totally changed. I know that I'm here to serve. I do. I am a counselor, but that's not my main thing anymore. I'm more of a sole counselor in the sense I help people to understand their life journeys. I work with them and looking at their pathway and moving into what they want to do now and how they see life very differently. I help people who are confused when they are going through life and they feel that having a soul awakening and they don't know what to believe, what religion now. They've stepped out of their religion because it said one thing and they believe in something else.

1:02:00 And I help people who think they're crazy because they're now believing that they can see spirit. So my purpose is actually to help guide people in this. They are human, but they're also having this soul experience and to hold hand in hand. And moving forward, I'm building a new platform where people will be able to find resources about this, how to help them to make them understand they're not going crazy. You can know about other realms and you can live also in this 3D planet as the human. But to know that it's OK to have all this information also, you know, to help them to find balance. And that's why I want to do this as a teacher now that I teach this. Yeah.

1:02:40 So as we wrap this up, I want to hear your thoughts on just a couple of things that we can leave with all of our listeners. One is there are a lot of people like what you're speaking about that have had these spiritual type experiences that they're trying to figure out how to process. There are also people that have not. And I don't want them to feel left out or like they're not special in some way, too. What do you have to say to them? I think that's really important that you mention that because I've had a lot of people who saying, do I have to die before I find my purpose or do I have to die before I can connect with God or the universe or my angels? And no, that's the simple answer.

1:03:20 I would say what I'm finding with my students and clients is that I'm literally, you know, I help them to learn that to look at the life that you live in. And if you're feeling unhappy with it, there is more to life. And, you know, some people have like nervous breakdowns or they need to get really ill before they take stock of their life or they have a loved one that passes over. It's normal as a human being, you're going to be living your life and you're not maybe you're happy the way your life is. Sometimes it does take something major to stop to make you say, hey, I need to look at my life and question what's going on. And I would say when you get to that point where you say, I need to look at life, I don't like the way I'm living life, start looking at what you need for you to reflect on where you are at in your life.

1:04:11 What has served you? What is it that you're happy with? What is it that you're not happy with? And try to stop making those changes for yourself. And if you have no idea, because I have people come to me, they have no idea, that you just start experiencing life. You know, all those experiences that happened to me made me look at life differently. I rolled a skate. If I want to go dancing, now I go dancing. I see life that I never promised the next day. So I look at life as in what do I want to do today? And if I'm on the train and suddenly I think, oh, I want to go to that bookshop, I don't put it off for another day because we're never guaranteed the next day.

1:04:51 I make sure that if something comes into my mind or I feel like I want to contact a friend or a family member, I do it on that day at that moment. So it's about being present. Me, that day of the accident was very much that I wasn't present with my children. And at the end of the day, it's about that love connection. We're meant to be having those love connections wherever it's with our children or a lover or a family member. That's the most important thing is to have in that love connection. And it's about being present in the moment. So practice being present in the moment. And when you can do that, be mindful even if you're drinking a cup of tea. I mean, I'm a mindfulness practitioner. I teach my clients, you know, when you're eating, when you're drinking, be present with what you're eating and drinking.

1:05:36 And once you start knowing who you are and what makes you feel okay, then you start to become aware of other things around you, your environment. And then you start to become aware there is more. So then maybe look at meditation. If your mind isn't a mind that can meditate, you say that your mind is too busy, well, practice that. Go be in nature. That's the most important thing is being in nature, finding those environments. Once you can start doing meditation, be more mindful, you start becoming more aware that there is more around you, more energy. And you start tuning into more of the energy and start maybe doing classes in psychic abilities or something.

1:06:16 And then once you start doing all those sort of things, you then can start connecting a lot easier with angels and other light beings and relatives that passed over. But it's about first of all finding yourself, knowing yourself. That's what I teach my students, is to be with yourself first. And you don't need to have any difficult experience to have your angels stand by your side or kneel by your side. You don't need that. And one last thing for some listener out there, and we have people all over the world. Maybe this is someone in Africa or Brazil or I don't know where. Somebody that just needs a message of hope today.

1:06:56 They're having a rough day. What can you say that you've learned that will give them some hope and uplift them today? I love that because the one thing I learned when I look back at my childhood and I felt I was abandoned and alone. The one thing physically was my Nan who looked after me. When I felt abandoned and alone the day of the accident, my Nan was still by my side in spirit. And what he really clearly used to say, hold on in there. But everything that's happening to you doesn't define you. That there is a way out of it. That you will get through it. And everything that I've gone through, the abuse, everything.

1:07:36 Being starving, hungry and the life that I've lived. I'm not saying woe is me. But what I have learned is that there is a lesson in that. There is something that's making you stronger. It's okay to be vulnerable. There is strength in being vulnerable. But just hold on in there because when you look back at it later, you'll understand that that has taught you so much to become the person that you're going to become. You're not ready yet. You need to have those experiences. And thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you. Thanks again for listening. We hope you will share this message with family and friends.

1:08:16 To be notified when the next episode goes live, follow this show on your podcasting app or click over to roundtripdeath.com and sign up for our email newsletter. Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.