#308 - Jacob King (Australia) Now Believes In God

0:00 One of life's greatest questions is what happens to us after we die? Is death the end or a new beginning? Welcome to the Round Trip Death Podcast. In this show, we listen to firsthand accounts of people who have gone beyond the veil and return to talk about it. We're taking a long trip today all the way down to Australia talking to Jacob King. Jacob, welcome to the show. Thanks, Eric. Where in Australia are you and what do you do there? Melbourne, Australia. I've done a lot of different things down here. I live kind of somewhat of a bag of all-night style, something like that.

0:43 You could say I find all kinds of jobs to do. I don't like to stay in one position for very long. I was born in the backseat of a car on the side of the freeway. Emergency birth. And that kind of set the tone for my whole life. I've moved. I've probably lived in 50 different houses. I've probably worked 50 different jobs. I've gathered so many different skills and met so many different people from all around the country. And I enjoy it. Whenever I try to stay locked into one place, I start to feel like I'm dying on the inside. And I move and I explore something new, a new facet of life, a new facet of myself. And that's my lifestyle. That's great.

1:23 So nothing's tying you down. You're not married with 10 kids and all that kind of stuff. Unmarried with zero kids. Well, anyway, welcome. We love to talk to people down there. One of my favorite interviews was Greg Keighley, if anybody wants to look it up and listen to him. He was just a stud Navy guy, talks about getting run over by a ship and stuff. And anyway, he's on one of the earlier podcast episodes. But we have a lot of listeners in Australia and New Zealand for some reason. Why is that? I don't know. I had no idea. But it's I'll tell you what, when you're down here, you wouldn't think that every now and then I've mentioned, you know, brief talks and my experience to people and they just think that you escape the psychiatric ward.

2:11 So I'm not sure. It definitely doesn't feel like it when you hear. Okay. Well maybe that's why they're listening is because I mean, obviously there's a lot of people that have had these experiences, but if they don't talk about it, maybe they just want to listen. And it's one way they're coping with it at this point. And we've talked about this before. But you know, in the US anyway, and I know every country and culture is a little bit different. But you know, 30, 40 years ago, if you talked about your near death experience here, people did think you were crazy and they were just going to check you into the psych ward. And quite often doctors or nurses or family members would say, yeah, yeah, sure.

2:55 That happened to you. But you know, don't talk about it because it's going to ruin the rest of your life. Anyway, it's nice that now people can be open. I know your experience happened just over a year ago. You haven't told many people yet. So we're honored to be able to listen. So Jacob, tell us a little bit about what led up to your near death experience and if it helps to give more background, go right ahead. Yeah, so I grew up and had a very rough childhood. And I literally found from the moment I was born, as I said, emergency birth in the car on the side of the freeway on a very cold day. My mom said that I was basically dead at birth.

3:38 My skin had turned blue from how cold it was in the car. And so, you know, literally from my first breath, I was traumatized. I was damaged. And my father was extremely violent, extremely narcissistic, very, very damaged individual and kind of like that saying goes hurt people hurt people. And I was definitely on the receiving end of that. Very, very vicious memories from from childhood. My mother was quite mentally ill, drug addicted, things like that. Even though that was going on, we were a religious household.

4:20 My parents both came to Australia from Egypt, and we were of a Coptic Orthodox background. So it's like, you know, very strict, sort of fundamentalist type of Christian. And you know, I was going to church all the time on Saturdays and Sundays, partly because I had to but partly it was just to get away from my dad who never went to church. And the more time I could spend away from him, the better. And as I was growing up, I was a very keen athlete. I loved playing sports. I would absolutely lose myself playing sports. My dream was, you know, as the dream of many kids are, I wanted to become a professional athlete. And I thought, you know, that's how I was going to make it out that type of dream.

5:02 But that didn't come to pass. And when I after I finished high school, and I realized I wasn't going to become a professional at any any sports, my mental health really started to take a turn for the worse. But I started to feel very suicidal. And I remember the first time I really felt the temptation to commit suicide, I think that was about 18 or 19 years old. That stayed with me for a long, long time. I didn't stop feeling suicidal until maybe 12 years later or something like that. And along with that, when you're on death's door, mentally speaking, and you want to commit suicide, you you turn to drugs to numb the pain.

5:44 I mean, you can say to pit you can judge people you want for taking drugs, but a lot of time, that's the lesser of two evils for them. And that was definitely the case for me. So you know, for me, it was mostly cannabis and alcohol, which, you know, not hard drugs by any means, but I was on and off with those things. I was always trying to develop my spiritual life on the inside, I always felt a calling a pull on the inside to go towards spirituality, because I knew that something about the spiritual stuff I know that will satisfy me and heal me on the inside. And it took me a while before it really started to make sense.

6:28 In the meantime, I made over a handful of suicide attempts. So I didn't have any MDEs that I could remember from my suicide attempts. But there was one time, I believe it was 2017. I woke up in an ambulance after after one of my attempts. I got taken to the hospital and my girlfriend met me there. And the first thing I said to her was, I need to start doing martial arts. And she was like, you can barely talk right now. Like, you've lost your job, you got no money, you just became homeless. And you're talking about joining a martial arts club. I was like, I don't care.

7:08 That's all I'm going to do. And it was just so random. And looking back on it, now I think I must have had an NDE and they must have told me you need to start practicing martial arts as your catharsis on earth. It must have been because that's the only way I can explain that. And long story short, I did join a martial arts gym. I found a coach there who really resembled my father in a lot of ways. He looked a lot like my dad. He had the exact same type of build, the same type of body, the same kind of raw power, strength, that alpha behavior, all of it. But he was much more calm and composed and he had his healthy outlet for his masculine behavior. Yeah, he kept it under control.

7:50 Exactly. Yeah. My father never had, he needed to go to the gym. My father needed a boxing club or something like that. But he didn't have that. So I was his boxing bag, you know. But this guy who was my coach, we'll just call him Coach Vic, he often would trigger me in a lot of ways where I would kind of snap at him like as if, you know, it's like I was working out things with my dad with him and he would always forgive me, which was interesting. And he really, he didn't have a son. He had four daughters. He always wanted a son. And I sort of became like that son that he wanted to have, you know. It was interesting because it really became a healing journey for both of us.

8:32 And as time went on, I got better and better at martial arts and I was mainly doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and I started competing in tournaments and I started winning these tournaments and I was really like flying high. You know, I was, I started to really focus in eating healthy, not doing drugs, all of that good stuff. And that lasted for a good few years until the lockdowns hit in 2020. If you remember anything, if you've heard anything about the meltdown lockdown in 2020, 2021, they were the strictest in the world outside of China. We couldn't leave our homes more than three miles and only for essential purposes.

9:14 And if we wanted to go out and exercise, we could walk for like an hour or two and that's it. There was no clubs. There was no training. And that was my therapy. And I tried my best to keep it together during that time. I know it's meditation and prayer and all these things. And I was trying my best, but I fell apart. I couldn't keep it together for long. And I fell into the drugs and alcohol very, very heavily, even worse than before. Drinking all day, every day, smoking all day, every day, and some harder drugs that I want to get into. But it was a rough time for me and I became very, very suicidal. And that continued up until that sinful night in October 2021.

9:55 And having the same old routine that I had every night after getting my paycheck where I could afford to go out and get all the expensive drugs that were really going to numb the pain and that. I took that chemical cocktail as I usually did, but I had a completely different experience this time. And I've never been the same since that night. Well, take a breath and let's go ahead and get into it. So what happened was then I was just doing my thing. I was in my room by myself and I just passed out. I passed out and when I passed out, I was instantly somewhere else, a very dark place, completely black all around me.

10:41 And I was conscious and I was just like, okay, what is this? What just happened? I started to feel like I was surrounded by all this warm, loving, beautiful, soothing, loving energy. It was something that I've never felt before, never experienced here on earth, anything like that. And it felt a bit like if you hug someone that you haven't seen for a long time and when you hug them, you can sort of melt into their arms. It felt like that, but times a hundred or times a thousand, well beyond anything that it's like the human brain has a limit on the chemicals it can produce to make you feel good.

11:24 And it's way beyond that. The human brain cannot create these kinds of sensations. I've mentioned this before. In fact, a few times, I hope people don't mind me mentioning it again, because we had a guest describe this love in what I thought was the greatest way. It fits with what you just said. And that is he said it felt like a hug from a thousand grandmas all at the same time. I don't even know if that does it justice. I mean, it really does. I've been trying to think about a way to describe this love for the longest time. Put it this way. When I felt this love, I was intimidated by it, which sounds like an oxymoron.

12:07 How can you be intimidated by love? I was genuinely intimidated at the power of it. Calling it love almost seems like the wrong word to use. I think we need a stronger word than that, like cosmic love or something. It was like all the power of all the universes was being run by this love. And all that love was surrounding and enveloping me. So this wasn't the kind of thing you've ever felt with alcohol and drugs before. This was completely different. Completely. Enough that I know it changed your life in many ways. Yeah. OK, keep going. As my brain is still working, I'm feeling my bones relax and my cells are...

12:49 I feel every cell in my body telling me, oh, we're going to turn off now. We're not needed anymore. Our job is done. And the cells in my body just gave up. And I was still there when I could just feel this energy. And I remembered this energy from somewhere. It felt familiar. And I was trying to think, where do I remember this energy from? Scanning through all my life. And I was able to scan through my whole life within a second. It was not a life review. Something else. It was just a quick scan throughout, looking for that energy. And then I went before my life. And that's when I remembered it.

13:30 And I said, oh, I spent time in this energy before I was born. This is God's energy. Oh, God's given me a hard ride now. I'm back with God again. I just felt this almighty release like, wow, I'm back. I'm back home again. Every single thing I wanted to experience on Earth, all the pleasure, all the love, the drugs, the women, you name it, everything I was chasing on Earth was like I was looking for this feeling again. And I didn't know it. And that's why nothing on Earth really satisfies us for very long.

14:12 We're always saying, I need more of this, or I'm having too much, or not enough. We never find that part of complete stillness, not for very long anyway. But now I found it. I found that thing that my soul was crying out for all this time. And I just wanted to stay there forever. And I melted into God's arms. And then he took me out of this black void sort of area. And I was instantly taken into another dimension. This other dimension looked a lot like space, but the stars that were everywhere were emanating these beautiful colors, these beautiful lights that were changing.

14:55 They were dynamic. The lights were changing always. And as I was looking at all this, I could see God was gathering all these lights together. And these lights were responsive. They were conscious. And I felt like they were all souls. I don't want to say human souls, because human souls doesn't really make sense. They were souls. And he was gathering them all together. And he was kind of creating these effects that you could almost say it was like a display of fireworks. But that doesn't quite do it justice either. He was basically creating art with these lights, and the art was alive and changing and moving and evolving and revolving.

15:41 And I was just so amazed and astonished at what I was looking at that I felt like it was too beautiful for me to handle. Like the sheer beauty of what I was experiencing was enough to kill me. If you've ever looked at something and you were in awe, multiply that awe over and over and over again, there's a point where there's too much awe and you're going to have a heart attack. Beyond awe. Yeah. Death by astonishment was what I was experiencing. And I was kind of like saying, oh God, this is getting too much.

16:21 And God kind of, he kind of has a sense of humor. He kind of chuckled. He was like, just kick back and then like, I'm putting on a show for you. You just enjoy it. And he enjoyed giving me the service of a beauty that goes beyond any human comprehension and just letting me experience that. He loved giving me that service. He was so humble. He wasn't, he was very different to the religious God I was taught about grounding out. He wasn't judging me for being a drug addict and suicidal guy. He was just like, I'm here to serve you. I'm here to heal you. I love you. That is so cool.

17:01 Was there sort of a progress like this all happened at the first and then was there a next step to this? Maybe just tell me what you remember next. I remember it like sequentially, but when I was there, there was no sense of time. I can only translate it into time when I'm here. Right. Because it's just the way the human brain works. I'm limited by that again, unfortunately. But so yeah, I do remember it sequentially. Anyways, the next thing I remember was we started flying through all of these lights and through all of this artwork and everything that it was creating. And as I was flying through it, it was like I was experiencing all of the love and all the beauty and all of it as I was experiencing the inertia of the flights.

17:50 And the flying felt a bit like flying underwater. You know, if you ever swam underwater, if you've ever, you know, sort of flown as well, like it's the same sort of thing at the same time. Because it's three dimensional. You're not limited to just walking along a sidewalk. Exactly. Yeah. Right. Up, down, side, side to side. Yeah. It's all of it at once. It's there's no limits there. Before you go on, you just mentioned we. So this was you felt like you and God doing this traveling together. Absolutely. Was it a seeing this being or just feeling this being a good question? It was just feeling there was no I know most people say they saw God as a white light.

18:34 I don't recall seeing him as a white light. I recall him being completely invisible, but he may as well have been visible. I knew exactly where he was. You can feel the energy coming off of God. And God was not limited by any form. I didn't just feel like God was next to me. I felt like this whole area I was in was God and everything I was saying was God. But it was like a piece of God just came to hang out with me as well, if that makes any sense. Um, there is actually a verse in the Bible that said it's something like definition of God being that in which we move and have our being. It was all of it at once, which I know is hard to understand.

19:18 It's hard to describe that. But anyways, he was always sort of on my left side and I was always on his right side throughout this whole experience. And as we were flying through and experiencing all this, it was getting really, really, really intense and we approached this large tower and this tower was made out of light, same kind of light that all the stars were made out of. And I looked up at this tower as we got to it and I couldn't see the top of it. And we started to fly up the side of this tower going towards the top of it. And the speed was increasing, increasing, increasing. And the inertia was getting really formed and I started to feel like I was reaching my breaking point.

20:04 It was like, oh, like another ounce of this. And I think I might just completely eviscerate. It's getting too much. The love, the inertia, the excitement, the beauty, all of it, too much. I'm about to lose it. I'm about to die. And just as I got to within a whisker of feeling like I was about to die, we made it to the top of this tower. And I took a breather and I was like, whoa, nearly lost it there. And then I looked around and I just, I could see from the top of this tower looking out and I could see billions and billions of these light-filled alps that were just in view.

20:45 It was a bit like, it's a bit like the sand on the beach, but imagine if you could see each piece of sand on the beach at the same time and each piece of sand was conscious and beautiful and you could experience each piece of sand individually. But it was all spread out the same way as it is when you look out at the ocean as far as the eye can see. Feeling, I mean, to call that breathtaking is a huge understatement. And I just took it all in and God was to my side and on my left. I could feel what God was going to do next. And the next thing we were going to do is we were going to fly through that. And I was like, oh God, wait a minute.

21:26 And nearly died coming up this tower. I could, I barely held on. If I go through that, I'm dead for sure. For sure I'm dead. And he just said, yes, I saw that. All right, okay, let's do it. Which I know sounds crazy from a human perspective, but being in front of God, there was so much trust, so much faith. I didn't just trust him. It was like, he is wisdom. He is knowledge. So if he says it's okay to do this, like, I'm not going to trust my thinking over his thinking. You know? So I just said, all right, it's so I'm going to die.

22:08 I'm going to die. And he picked me up like I was a paper plane. And he just threw me and I started sailing through all this light. Same thing again, the inertia, the love, the beauty, all of it increasing and increasing and increasing. And I got to that same point where I thought, oh, this is too much. Oh God, I'm about to die. I'm about to die. And it kept increasing. And I got past that point of feeling like I was going to die. And when I got past that point of feeling like I was about to die, when I got past that point, I started to feel like my skin was being pulled off me. My bones, my muscles, all the human layers were just coming off one by one by one.

22:49 There was no pain. And it felt like taking off a tight shoe. Just this release of energy and all the trauma from my childhood just came off. Wow, it's just beautiful. It's like, oh, yeah. Keep taking off these layers. So it was like the human identity, the ego was dying. It was just one layer after another until I got to the last layer. And when I got to the last layer, I started to feel a little bit worried. I started to feel like, oh, when this last layer goes, there's nothing left. I wonder what happens then. And we kept flying and flying and this last layer wouldn't dissolve. It stayed. And I was like, man, whatever layer this is that can survive this, that's a very special layer.

23:35 I wonder what that is. And then when I thought that, God stopped me from flying. And he just, he picked me up and it was like picking up, you know, one of those grains of sand. And he just held me and then I was able to see this layer from his perspective. So I was looking at myself through his eyes. And he showed me this was just like a little white light that was inside. That was like the light of my soul. And this layer did not dissolve in this area. And this, this little white light looked just like all the lights around me, but without the dynamic color changing, it was just the pure black canvas.

24:18 And he said, you see this right here, no matter what you've been through, no matter what you will go through, this is eternal, this does not change. This is who you really are. Remember this. And he just rolled me like rolling a marble out of his hand. And I joined all the other lights and it felt like a drop of water joining the ocean again. And I became one with all the lights. I joined all of them and we became one unified being. Me and all the billions of lights became one. And when I became one with all the lights, I felt like I became one with God.

25:02 I became just like God. There was no, not even one little millimeter of humanity left in me. It was just, I was one with God. To call that bliss and ecstasy is a huge understatement. It was the most, I felt a sense of belonging, like this was the source of my being. The absolute beginning of who I was was this before I was separated from God. And I just felt like I'm back home again and that's it.

25:44 There's nothing, there's nothing left of me, Jacob, the human. It's just me, one with God, one with everything. And I stayed there for what felt like eternity, but it's hard to say that because obviously I came out of it again. And I stayed there forever long. I needed to stay there. And God plucked me back out again. And when God plucked me back out, he just held me in his hand and I saw an image appear, just like this image materialized of this body here back on earth, passed out.

26:25 And I was like, oh, forgot about that guy. Yeah, that's what I came from. And then I realized, are you going to send me back to that again, aren't you? He said yes. And I said, okay, wait, before you send me back, can I ask some questions? He said yes. And I started to think like a human again. I remembered what it was like to be a human. And what went through my mind was when I get back to being a human, there's a lot of things I know I want to ask you, God. So I'm going to get that out of the way now so I don't regret the time I spent here. And they said, first of all, how can I go from all of this, all this love and this beauty and everything to going back to that?

27:07 It's too much of a contrast. I cannot go back to that and just go back to being the same drug addict, depressed, suicidal, bye again. I cannot. And all he said was, that's okay. And when he said that's okay, what was embedded in that vibration was, I do not judge you for everything you've been through. So the way you've handled your pain and all the decisions you made with the resources that you had, I understand. I'm not here to judge you. It's okay. And it was complete love and complete acceptance without an ounce of judgment.

27:50 And I felt good, you know, because with my religious upbringing, I was going to hell for sure. And he said, no, it's okay. And I said, okay, but when I go back, I'm going to want to tell everyone about this and they're not going to believe me. I mentioned some names. I said, oh, my cousin, my mother can reenact it. Go to fear. Can you show them this love as well? Can you let them experience this? And then he said, well, that's what you're there for. So you were sent back with a message. Yeah. But I struggled when he told me that. How can I show you this love?

28:31 That's not possible. I'm not, no one would ever experience this kind of love. And he said, just ask me for help. You can do that. And when you asked me for help, ask to help to become an outlet for this love. And I thought outlet is a very interesting word to use here. I thought about this a lot when I got back. Like I don't have to produce this love because I'm not capable of it. All I have to do is move out of the way and the love will just flow right through me. And I said, okay, I'll do that. But what is so much harder on earth. Like it feels so easy up here.

29:14 When you're down there, it's a lot more confusing. I cannot go back to being that same guy. I can't. And I definitely can't go there and lose touch with you again. If I lose my connection with you again, God. And I was just, I started to really like panic a little bit, like that's not going to happen. Then it's not going to happen. And then he stopped me and he said, I am you. And then I stopped and I again, I struggled. I couldn't accept it. What do you mean you are me? Yeah. What did that mean? So I asked him, he could see I couldn't accept it. And what happened was I was back in the sort of like an ethereal type of human body back there again.

29:55 And out of this, out of my forehead, shot out this giant eye, a giant golden eye came out of my forehead and it was looking at me, but it was strange because it was coming from me, but looking back at me. And he said, I am viewing your life and experiencing your life through you as you. You and me are one. And he sort of gave me this hint through not through words, but through vibration. If you just tap into that third eye there, you can tap into me. And I didn't understand it really.

30:35 And then I was sent back and I just woke up the next day feeling very groggy and hungover and very confused, very confused, bewildered, beyond belief. I started crying when I woke up. I was just crying and that wasn't a drug trip. Was it a drug trip? Did drugs do that to people? What happened last night? And then I was like, oh, let's see. I rolled myself a cigarette. I went to the park. I sat down. I sat down at the park and I thought, I thought long and hard, what just, have I lost my mind? What was that? Okay. If I was with God, why am I smoking a cigarette the next day?

31:18 Wouldn't all that stop going away? And then I was looking out and I realized something strange was I was no longer seeing with my eyes. I felt like I was seeing through my eyes. My eyes felt like windows now. And I thought about that third eye thing and I thought, oh, I'm seeing through something else now. I'm seeing things in a different way, through a different lens, literally through a different lens. I started getting downloads coming in and the first download that came in was the story of the prodigal son. And the prodigal son, he, somebody grows up in the palace with his father and he says, I want to go out and experience the world.

32:01 He goes out and experiences the world. He comes back. Sorry. And while he's experiencing the world, he ends up getting ruined and living with pigs and eating pig slop at the pig farm. And he's just absolutely ruined and over it, he says, let's sit and go back home again, some of that, some of that rightful place. And that's kind of what happened with me, but I understood it from a different perspective of shifting out of the ego. The development of the ego was the thing that is going out to interact with the world, to become a worldly person. Yes, I'm Jacob King, I'm a this, I'm a that, I'm a that, but I'm not any of that. All I really am is the soul of life within that is directly connected with God.

32:45 And when I got sick of the ego and how it ruined me and drove me to utter despair and suicidality, then that was my time to return home and be with God again. Let's just finish the story of the prodigal son and how it fit with your experience. He's ready to go back and just be a servant, right, to his father. He doesn't think his father's even going to take him back for all the things he's done, the fortune he's burned through, etc. And what his father does is immediately forgives him, puts a coat on him, throws a big feast, a big party. There's not, there's not like a year of, you know, repent, do penance and all this kind of stuff.

33:33 It's an immediate forgiveness. Yeah, and it seems like you and many other people have felt that. Yeah, it definitely was. And I, it was an adjustment process still, like it wasn't all, you know, sunshine and rainbows when I got back. No, that's often the hard part. Yeah, it really is. Because you've experienced something that is so amazing and your experience is amazing. I thank you very much for sharing, by the way. It's hard to go from that to back to, I'll just call it reality here on earth, where things are tough and that love that you just experienced, I don't know how to experience it here, at least not to that kind of degree.

34:28 So you miss that, right? You know, I, that was part of the adjustment process was I did miss it. The first two months or so, two, three months that I was back, I was swinging wildly in between states of bliss and states of despair. And I could go back and forth multiple times a day. I was crying every single day, bawling my eyes out. I was out of bliss and sometimes out of despair and sometimes both at the same time. And I knew I looked like a right mental case. Like as time went on, I, you know, for a while I gave up the drugs and alcohol and that, but I was still very confused with the world. The world still had its grip on me. I was kind of like working a new job and I was ambitious and motivated, had all the ego drives still there.

35:16 But it was sort of mixed in with this, I don't know what you call it, but the godliness, that vibration was there too. And it was kind of tainted, you know, by all of that. The first thing I realized was that women were the distraction, the lust and the pleasures of the flesh were a huge distraction from that pure vibration of God within. Not to say that, you know, people were married and all that, no, nothing. It was just people who are obsessed with lust and that never ending desire to satisfy the body which can never really be satisfied.

35:56 No one is chasing sexual pleasure ever gets talking about where they go, oh, I'm satisfied now I've had my fill, nice. You just keep chasing it. It's a bottomless pit. And that's, I realized like, okay, I can't do that anymore. So I had to break open my girlfriend. I mean, being in a toxic work environment full of guys who were bullying each other and being mean and doing this and doing that and we're fighting was necessary. I couldn't do that anymore. People would disrespect me and I was just like, I don't even feel like fighting back anymore. I don't feel like being the dominant guy anymore. This just doesn't interest me now. So I couldn't master that job anymore.

36:37 And then that was just like one thing after another. This was the process of me dying to the world. And let me tell you, at one point I became very sour because I was not expecting it to be like this. I thought when I got back that that's it, I was enlightened. It's gonna be easy. Oh, no. No, no, it doesn't work that way. It's much more difficult than that. Yeah, I started to doubt my experience. I started to think, well, maybe this was just a drug hallucination thing because I'm a mess. I'm more of a mess now than I was before I left. I got sour. I'll be honest. I got very angry with God. And I was like, whether or not this experience was real, if you're real, why is this happening to me?

37:20 Why are people, either when they're meeting you or believing they met you, like you shouldn't be letting this happen. Are you even real? And I tried to convince myself that my NDE was fake, but I just couldn't. There was too many gifts that came after my return that I couldn't deny. I could not rationalize them. And some of them just seemed really silly. I'll give you one example. The one time I was at home and this was early 2022 and I just returned to the drugs and alcohol again to numb my despair. And I had ordered a pizza, which was being delivered to the house and I thought, I feel like doing something nice for the delivery driver.

38:06 I'm going to give him a big tip. I mean, I got some money. As I collected the money, I heard a voice in my head. The voice in my head said, you're going to be too embarrassed to give that tip to the driver. Well, not what's so embarrassing about giving a tip to the driver. I just tried to ignore it. And then I was waiting by the door and I could see out the driver's door came a woman that I used to go to church with when I was younger. And I was like, oh, I can't barely see me drunk like this. And I got too embarrassed. I thought, oh no. And there were so many things happening like that where this communication coming from the other side in ways that I can't deny, I cannot rationalize it away.

38:49 I had to come to terms with what was happening. And the image that kept coming to my mind throughout this depression was about this ego that I experienced when I was flying through with the lights and I could feel all the layers of my human identity come off me. That image was constantly being beamed into my mind. They're saying, remember, remember. And at some point I was resigned to the fact that I was basically going through the earth version of that, but it wasn't fun and it was not blissful. It was very painful. And when I got out of that was later on in 2022, so not too long ago, where I was driving and somebody got really aggressive with me on the road.

39:35 And usually I'm the kind of guy all my life, you want to road rage with me, you road rage with the wrong guy. Like I'm crazy. And I had this shift in perspective where I just felt to my very core, like I was just dying and I was done with this world. And I thought, you know what, you're still playing that human game. It means so much for you to get in front of me and act like that. Go for it. And I gave it a gate in space. And then I started giving other people space and I started serving other people on the road. And when that happened, I felt like a little door open up within me. And it's like I walked into this inner door and I was back surrounded by the love and the peace again. And I was like, you made it.

40:17 You made it. You figured it out. You made that one step anyway. And there's lots more steps. Yeah, a hundred percent. And it's a constant thing. So now it's just like being in the present moment all the time. And whenever I do something that gets me out of the present moment, out of the state of flow, these things are what is called sin. Whenever I sin, I lose my connection with God. I lose that inner peace, that inner serenity. I'm not trying to think what is seen. I'm not doing it because it's right or wrong. I'm doing as Jesus said, and being like a little child. Little child doesn't go and hug his mom because it's the right thing to do.

40:58 He's just doing what he's feeling in the moment. And that's how I'm living my life. And it's worked wonders. It's been amazing. And I haven't been the same since then. All right. Let me ask you a hard one. Sure. So from the things that happened in your childhood, you carried a lot of baggage and hurt and I assume anger and pain. We'll just call it PTSD for a big general term here. How much of that was in those layers that just wiped away? Or how much did you still come back with and have to deal with? I still had to deal with all of it when I came back. But in the experience, I lost it all.

41:39 What I experienced when I came back was my experience was more of almost like a trailer, almost like a lesson. What happens with this experience when you stop identifying with the human layers and you identify with something deeper. But see, once I came back to earth, I'm back in all the human layers. Look, I'm in a body. The layers are back. My nervous system remembers all the things that I went through. I still have my triggers. I still get angry and snappy. But because I identify with something deeper, those layers are slowly dissolving energetically.

42:21 NDEs are no shortcut to, at least for me, it was not a shortcut for healing. And I felt one of the things I felt very strongly upon returning was you're going to have to learn how to heal so you can show others how to heal as well. Because there are a lot of people who are listening to these NDEs going, oh, I could have one, then everything would be all right. It's not quite. It's not quite. But the things that I had to do to learn to heal and to recover and restore myself are things that everybody else can do as well. So how are you helping people do that now? Well, I'm still healing myself. So I actually am in touch with Greg Shealy, who is one of your former guests, that he's a hypnotherapist now.

43:06 And he's been giving me great sessions on releasing all the pent-up trauma stored within me. And I'm just, I'm not going out and choosing to do anything. I'm just being in the flow state. And when I'm in the flow state, God is putting me in places in bizarre scenarios where I'm just happened to meet the right person who needs to hear the right thing at the right time. I could literally be at my mate's house and somebody calls him and asks him a question. He says, oh, I don't know, but this guy knows. And then he'll give me the phone and I'll start talking to his friend and we'll have a 45 minute conversation. I'm going to turn around and my mates fall asleep on the couch. Things like that. It's like almost every day I'm experiencing miracles, but I'm not creating the miracles.

43:48 I'm just being the outlet. I'm just being in the flow state. I'm not thinking about it. It's I have a lot of lessons that I've learned, a lot of things that I've experienced. And I'm just sharing that when the time is right. I am starting up a YouTube channel and I have so many lessons that I want to share with people. I'll be watching. Yeah. I'll be your first fan on there. How's that? Thanks, man. I know you came back with a message and you've told us what that is in many ways, but if you were to summarize, if somebody were to say, wow, you had an amazing NDE in 15 or 30 seconds, what is the message?

44:33 What is the message for me from Jacob who got it from God during this NDE? God is running the show and not you. And all the impulses you feel, all the things running through you, a lot of these things are coming from outside and we need to trust God and be open. And the only way that can happen is if we can enter into the flow state, enter into the present moment right now. And we can learn these things through meditation, through being loving and kind towards others. And if we can enter into that flow state, then it's like kind of giving the steering wheel back to God again. And you watch the magic unfold in your own life.

45:14 It's better than anything you could create on your own. Get out of the way and trust God. That's awesome. Jacob, thank you so much. Thank you, Eric. I appreciate it. If you have had a round trip death experience, we would love to hear about it. Send an email to eric at roundtripdeath.com. And lastly, if you have found this program uplifting, if it's given you just a little more hope in the future, share it with a friend, hit that follow button and take a few seconds to write us a review. Until next time, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.