#303 - Mindy Speranza's Life Completely Changed Following Her NDE

0:00 One of life's greatest questions is what happens to us after we die? Is death the end or a new beginning? Welcome to the Round Trip Death Podcast. In this show, we listen to firsthand accounts of people who have gone beyond the veil and return to talk about it. Today we are talking with Mindy down in beautiful sunny Florida. How are you today, Mindy? Doing great. Are you from Florida? Because your accent does not sound like it one little bit. And I could guess where, but you tell me. Brooklyn. Not Long Island? No, I was, you know, above my pay rate.

0:45 Although both of them are from Long Island. Anyway, yeah. To me, they sound a little bit alike, but definitely, yeah, Brooklyn. The Brooklyn totally makes sense. We're going to be talking today a little bit about the NDE that you had and what led up to it. And I don't want to depress our listeners, but I know you had a really tough life and that and it kind of plays into the story of what happened here. Would you mind just giving us a little background leading up to, you know, in your life, what happened? Sure. Well, I grew up in an institution for child abuse and the abuse continued.

1:31 I married an abusive man and I ended up divorced two kids, three jobs and nothing working out. I had a business. I had two businesses, you know, asked to be partner in two salons. Neither of those worked. And I got to the point that I felt if I touched it, it was doomed to fail. And I could never understand why. Because I thought I did everything right and moralistic and good and the way it should be and didn't matter. So that led me up to the near death where I felt God hated me and I decided I'm going to keep him out of my life.

2:16 And that's where it began. So was this an experience where you got sick, you got it in accident or something else? Well, I was extremely depressed. I was health wise, heavy, sluggish. I don't know. Just the depression was unbearable and fear, tremendous fear, which I very often said was my only emotion. And how did you feel about God at that point? Were you blaming? I felt everything was his fault because I didn't have parents to blame or anyone. So must be God.

3:03 I decided that as a child and I decided when I was an adult and I got to run things, I'll do it right. And I won't have any more problems because I'll do everything the right way. And God will love me and do it with me and everything will be good. So when I became an adult and that didn't work, I was 52 when I gave up. And what I gave up on was God. And basically, that's all I had. And so I couldn't really go any lower. I didn't want to live, but I felt that I had to stay out of obligation to my children.

3:49 And I came up with an idea that I'll become a shell and I'll have no more wants or needs and I'll never be heard again. And I thought that was a genius plan. I was so happy that I thought of it and wished I thought of it sooner. But the God I thought hated me must have been listening. Well, he listened because the night I decided that I walked into my bedroom and I looked up at the ceiling. And I said, I don't know what kind of God you are, but I don't want to God like that in my life. And I said, really, God so and so gets the salon because I had been pushed out of the second one.

4:34 I was arrested a few times and whatever craziness was going on. And I was running the whole business. And because she had money, she came out of jail and said, why don't you take your name off the business? And I said, me? But I do everything. And she said, I said, why don't you take your name off? She said, you can't afford this without me. And the fear just came. Because I had two kids at home. I had a house and I had no parents, no family, no money. And he or she had a husband who was very wealthy and accountants and lawyers. And and so again, I lost it. And I felt I didn't do anything wrong and I didn't deserve it.

5:16 And it must be God. And I had learned a couple of years earlier to never say, well, I started to around that time, maybe every time I said, thank you, God. Everything fell apart. And that's how I looked at it. So I was scared to thank him. Soon after that, I would say, is when I said, I don't know what's important to you, but she gets the salon. My ex husband wasn't paying the child support. He gets from the new in-laws and inherits two houses like. And I'm working three jobs and struggling. It's got to be God. Who else is doing this to me? And so I said, I don't want to God like you in my life. And I meant it.

6:01 And the next day I woke up to go to work. And that was a new job that I hadn't been paid in many weeks. And I decided I'll go as a volunteer just because I couldn't take any more anger and resentment. And I clicked the TV on and I heard we are body, soul and spirit. And most people have no power in their life because they don't go deep enough to reach spirit where all the power is. And at first I thought, is he talking to me? Because I'm not speaking to God anymore.

6:47 And I don't know why the TV is talking to me right now. And my second thought was maybe that's my problem. So I said, I'll do that. I'll go deep enough where spirit is, even though I had no idea what that meant. And that night when I came home, I sat down on my bed and I closed my eyes and I pushed myself in. And I felt immediately my soul leave my body. Now, I don't think it was that act alone.

7:28 I think it started at least the day before, if not sooner, when I made the declaration to God that I was done. Maybe it was God's plan. Well, obviously it was God's plan to bring me there and teach me. And I was taken out of my body to a designated place and out of space and taught. And I saw images and learnings and I came back a different person as I remain today, nine years later. OK, I've got 50 questions to fill in right here. First of all, for those that aren't that familiar, there's some terminology in this whole near death experience realm.

8:16 There's there's near death experience, NDE. There's out of body experience, OBE. There's spiritually transformative experience. And there's more. You sent your experience written up into ions. And what did they say about it? Probable NDE. OK, probable. That's how they list NDE. And today we're not going to we don't need to put labels on things, but you you left. Let me make sure I understand this. Your spirit left your body, right? How do you know that? Well, I want the biggest way I know is that I'm totally different.

9:00 But I'll tell you what happened. I went through the room. Through the ceiling, out to outer space, through dimensions, I felt it switch. And so you saw these things going through the roof of the house, et cetera, go into the detail. It's OK. Tell us all about it. The first thing I felt was it's really up. God, heaven, dead people. It's really up because I felt myself rising. My second thought, I got out of the house and I was in the atmosphere and I saw the stars all around me and I said, this is where I'm from.

9:47 This is my home. And as I thought that I knew I was made up of the same thing as the stars, but I felt it switch dimensionally at that minute. So I wasn't only rising, I was changing dimensions at the same time. Then I rose and kind of moved to the left. And I was in a location near the moon somewhere in the atmosphere. And it was beautiful, amazing, peaceful, wonderful. And you didn't have to worry, obviously, about breathing or whatever, like an astronaut would. No. I felt more natural than the body. The body's tight and uncomfortable.

10:32 That's natural and wonderful. OK. Did you meet any people, beings while you were there? I had two guides with me. I didn't see them like I see you. I felt them, sort of saw, felt. They did show me people, images while I was there as part of the learning. If they happened to be on the subject, I saw images. But they weren't dead and they weren't there. They were just for learning purposes. I saw my ex-husband, I saw my ex-business partner. I saw an elderly man floating in a hospital bed.

11:14 All of these were during teaching. Those three things. I saw many other things, not necessarily people. I saw three Mindis, body, soul and spirit. They explained all that. I also saw the two people I saw, my ex-husband and partner in body, soul and spirit. They explained it. Everything was images for teaching. That's all it was. Was no visiting and no... Well, it also was a healing. As I rose, I heard, he knows every hair on your head, Mindy.

11:54 And every moment matters. And where it matters is in your soul. Those were the first words I heard. And then I was completely healed. I felt all the pain of a lifetime. Draining and filling me up with what I could only say is liquid love. And purely healed. And I know God did that. Because they, the guides, said he knows every hair on your head. And I felt him do that. The rest, they did. And I felt him hovering while they were teaching.

12:36 Not the whole time, but there were times when I felt him overseeing it. But I don't know if they were given that assignment. Do you have any idea who these guides were? No, spirit guides. I didn't feel I knew them. Explain liquid love. My body filled with it. The only word I could think of was liquid love. That's what it felt like. Head to toe, pure love. That was healing all my pain of a lifetime. Nothing fit except that word. Yeah. Why the word liquid? Did it feel like it moved?

13:19 I don't know. When I tried to think about it, those are the words that seemed right to me. I don't know why. They fit. I mean, doing these interviews, I have people, you know, all the time, trying to explain what that love of God felt like during their experience. And there's never the adjectives to do it. But the word liquid love is really interesting to me. That's why I wondered if you could expound on that at all. It sort of felt like it poured in me. And the only word is love. That's all I felt. Okay. Now, did you feel like you were going further and further away or like you were coming back to your body at some point?

14:05 There was a time when I was going further in the beginning as I kept rising up and they were bringing me to whatever spot they decided to bring me to. That was further and further in the beginning I was going. And coming back, I don't remember coming back. I just remember being back. You don't remember having a choice to go back. You just all of a sudden were back. No. I remember thinking at one point, well, I was saying to them, what if I go back and do it again because they were showing me my part?

14:47 And then I pictured my kids and I knew I was coming back for that reason, for my children, and I wanted to for them. I didn't want to leave them stranded. But other than that, I don't remember coming back. When you say they showed you your part, was that like a life review? No. They explained that, well, they showed me the three Mindies. And they said the first one, well, they didn't say, but they didn't address the first one, was like a flesh Mindy. All this is floating and out of space. The second one was an outline of Mindy. Like I describe it in the book like a gingerbread, like a soft outline, but it's energy.

15:32 And the third one was wind of Mindy. And they said to me, the first one is your, no, they didn't address the first one. I knew it was flesh. The second one, they said, that is your soul. And when I looked at it, I saw liquid up until my ankles. And I thought, because everything is telepathic, what is that? And right away they answered, that is your soul. You are empty to your ankles. Because even though your actions were good, you were filled with fear and resentment.

16:13 And God will not attach to fear, resentment, or any negativity. And negativity will not fill your soul. It will drain your soul. Positivity will fill your soul. And it's up to you to do that, to fill your soul. And that's when I said, what if I go back and do it again? And they said, you will know by the words. And I saw a silver strobe come up. And it was like alive. Everything was alive. The stars, the planets, everything was alive. What God for us?

16:53 And words started coming. They had words on the left side and right side. Good words. Hundreds of them. Thousands just kept coming. And they said, you will know by the word. Your life will go in the direction of your thoughts. And it can't be based on your circumstances. And that was one of the, that was the most important thing they said to me. Because I was a victim and I was a good one. The best victim I know. I started it young. Did you learn how to control those thoughts? Took me, I'm still learning. Nine years in. I carried a book around when I came back to try to write down.

17:37 I realized that I had this responsibility and also that I wanted to do the right thing. And honor this. Much more happened. But I wanted to honor this gift. I came back like a new person. And I was very thankful. And humbled and devastated that I had blamed God. I cried for about a year. But I took it very serious. And I said I'm going to write down good words. I couldn't think of three good words. I didn't even know what that meant. I never tried to control my mind in that way or understood what I was doing.

18:18 And I had to be, I don't want to say infantile, almost. On my thoughts to change. So I said to myself, you know, they said at one point there's good and bad and no in between. So if it's not bad, it must be good. So the color purple is not bad. Or the dresser over there was in my bedroom is not bad. Or flowers not bad. So I would write these little words down. And I said oh my God, I'm surrounded by good. And I learned how to see the good in everything and how to understand what was happening and what was my part.

19:03 And really focus in right there in that little spot. I wanted to make 100 good words. I never reached it. Probably still didn't reach it. But I changed in the efforts to do that. I changed. Well, and you mentioned a minute ago that you're nine years in now. You almost sound like there was a life before the experience and a different life since then. Well, I have to always be honest, which I am, which I was before. I'm still human. My favorite is people who knew me before because I'm so different.

19:44 But I am living life, you know. And the longer it is, the more human I kind of am. I'm never the same as I was. And I know things I didn't know. But I'm on the earth. I have to earn a living. My outside life didn't change as much as my inside life. That's completely different. I'm still a hairdresser. I'm still supporting two kids who are now older than me. That's what I tell them and they are. And it's hard life. Still don't have the support system. Still don't have any of that. But I'm not the same. So I live, you know, my internal life is different.

20:26 That's all I could say. I'm different. External, I guess we all have our road. That's how it is. And anything else during your experience that you saw or felt or learned that you'd like to tell us about? Yes. At one point, well, I want to tell you all of it. At one point, I saw an elderly man floating in outer space in boxer shorts, in a hospital bed. And they said, when you suffer at the end of your life, it's not in vain, but a burning away. And they didn't say karma, but I'm going to say karma because I don't remember.

21:06 They just said like a burning away of life almost for a benefit on the other side. And I remember thinking that's nice of them to tell me. I didn't ask, you know, I just saw images. So I feel that, well, I believe every word they say, but I feel that everything is on purpose. It's not just that. I don't know why they decided to tell me that. But at the end of someone's life, if they suffer, it's a reason. It's a higher purpose. It's not just to suffer. It's set up for a reason. They also told me, they showed me my business partner, my ex-husband, and they showed me them as in body, soul, and spirit also.

21:51 And they said, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And what they do is to their soul. I got it that minute that it doesn't end here. And the damage is to our soul. And there was something else I was going to tell you that they taught me now. I forgot. But there was a lot of teachings. I want you to have them all. Let me think. Let me think. Oh, there was one point. Oh, OK. Let me just read you this from the book. I saw the moon surface. Then I heard, God is the sun, the stars, and the moon.

22:37 Is the moon mad at you, Mindy? That was in the beginning. When I landed in the Kailah, and you don't land. I was always floating and in awe of how beautiful the stars were. They're nothing like we see in pictures. They're getting a little better now, the pictures. But it was very dense. And they're very bright and colorful. And there's millions of them. It's not like a lot of space. I think on the way up, maybe. But once you were there, it's very dense. And it felt like a lot was going on, even though I couldn't see it all. But there was one point when I, again, I'll say landed.

23:17 But you know, it's floating. You're not landing. I saw the moon coming towards me. And I remember thinking, I could see the surface of the moon. And I don't know why, you know, and then just go on to the next thing. There were some odd things that took me kind of out of that realm for a minute. The other thing was when they showed me body, soul, and spirit. And they said, the wind is your spirit. It is one with all. Just like the wind doesn't change from Brooklyn to Staten Island, your spirit doesn't change from one to another.

23:58 And I remember thinking, they said Staten Island. Like those were the times I was kind of pulled out for a second, saying how weird is this? But otherwise, I was engrossed and loving every minute of it. It was just fabulous. So do you think that's the way they normally talk or they were kind of directing it towards you because that was your frame of reference? They're familial. I'll tell you that. I don't know because it was put in my mind. So it's not like you're hearing talk or anything. I don't think so. But I think everything is everything.

24:39 Do you understand? Everything they are aware of and part of. So it's as familiar to them, I guess, as it is to us, our neighborhoods. How else has this changed your life since it happened? Well, the biggest change is that I'm not a victim. But the responsibility I have to give back, complete change. What was I giving back if I was a victim? That's a complete change. I know my part. I can't always be perfect and do perfect. But I catch myself and I want to and I understand more of how things work and the makings.

25:22 I also feel nine years later much more pulled again from them. Like, in other words, given assignments. Because I want to say I was sent back. That's how it felt. And my first couple of years were done forgiving, mostly God, healing. Every day I cried. And I also had a burning inside, like healing, terrible pressure. Like, in other words, anything could trigger me. I would watch spiritual shows and I would feel a rising up in my soul.

26:07 Pressure and healing. And I would actually make a sound like ehhhh. I would actually feel this. But I knew it was God healing me. And then I would cry. That went on at least a year. And a lot of other strange things. But that has passed. But lately, maybe the past six months, they're pulling on me a lot to get more involved spiritually. I had told God a couple of months ago, I felt it coming. In fact, on the last podcast. And I said, you know, I was just starting to feel that.

26:47 And I said, if you want me to do more, you got to give me time. I'm working hard, you know, doing hair. My business completely died. I'm scared for my life. And then I remembered what I said. And I said, I didn't mean it like that. I don't want to be homeless. But I do feel this responsibility. And it kind of comes in different ways at different times, according to them. And it's okay with me. If they make a way. Be careful what you ask for. Exactly. Exactly. So how can you help other victims out there?

27:28 Well, the favorite victims, there's many, are people who were lost or didn't know what was going on. I mean, I grew up in an institution for child abuse. I just felt cursed or something. I didn't feel I didn't know what was happening. Why is my life so hard? And I had no hope. And those are the people I would like to reach. I do understand that they don't know what I'm talking about. Like I didn't. I understand that. But I still try to give them hope when I do their hair.

28:09 It's like a floundering. You're floundering on earth. I was in the state of confusion. So by telling my story, and they told me anyway, that was another direct command. Go back and tell others. I feel that forgive when they said forgive them for they know not what they do. That's a direct command. And go back and tell others. And tell others what? What happened to me, which I felt was strange at the time they said it because I said, who will listen? They then spent the next two years, three years pressuring me to write a book.

28:52 And I did feel the freedom to say, you do it. I can do it. That's so great. I want to do that with everything. You told me when we were talking previously, and I've had other people tell me this too. By the way, for our listeners, a lot of people who have had near death experiences have felt like they need to share it. And one of the ways they could do it is in the form of a book. So a lot of people we have on this show have written a book. How many of them are making a million dollars off their book? Nobody. Hardly anybody. Most people are not making anything on their books. So when I plug somebody's book on this show, don't let that take away from the credibility of the person talking because they're likely not making anything on their book anyway.

29:41 They just feel the need and desire to share their experience. Your book is called what? Visit to Heaven, What I Learned on the Other Side by Mindy Sparanza. You saw it, right? You looked at it. It's on Amazon. It's on Amazon and it's in that audio. It's all over the world. It's also in the library. But it's not even mine. You know, I just did what I was told humbly and thankful to do it. But is it me? It's as much mine as my children. It just came through me from another source.

30:23 That's it. I'm a hairdresser. That's my hard work for many years. Not this. This is their work. And I just put it down. I just did what they wanted so they would leave me alone because you don't get peace. You know, if they want something done, it's going to get done. So, you know, I don't take this book as anything. And mostly I give them away. I buy them like everyone else on Amazon and I give them away. So it's nothing about money just so that I could sleep it. That's it. When you say they are telling you what to do, are these the two people that you met? I think so. Yeah, because they were the only ones close to me, you know, when I was there.

31:05 And I feel like it's them. Yeah, they wanted it. Now, if we don't know how to listen to those voices, explain how you do. How do you how do you hear this? How do you know they're telling you something? I get pressure in my body, my stomach and my chest, and I hear messages in my mind at the same time. And I know that it's from them. I also can get it on other subjects in my life, direction. You know, it took me a long time to listen. I listen better now. I'm still learning more. But they give me a physical sensation and the message in my mind at the same time.

31:51 Give us an example of other things in your life they tell you about. Well, this is not exactly the same. But when I first came back, every time I went near the TV, I heard a radio, static voices. Even the TV was off. But for some reason, it was in an armor and it was near there that I would always hear it. And it was like, and I couldn't understand what they were saying. And I kept saying, why is somebody leaving a radio on? I didn't know if it was from outside, from inside. I couldn't even identify it. I couldn't hear it. I didn't know it was them. That was outside of my body. Messages now, if it's directive, are inside.

32:34 So if I stop and think, I can get an answer to something. Should I go in this way? Should I? And I won't go anymore until I get that answer. If I feel pressure, nervous, afraid, or like it's almost like I'm being stopped, I won't do. I won't do something. I won't go forward. Sometimes I forget to listen and I just go. You know, just me without any insight. But if I stop, it's always there for me. Because, you know, after the first few years, like four or five, I kind of went on with my life a little bit.

33:18 Never the same, but not as much in tune. And now it's changing again and coming back stronger. I don't know. They're doing it. I'm up. But that's how it's happening in my case. Well, they're telling you to get your message out there. You're doing it right now as we're talking. Yes. And let's finish up with this. What is your main message of hope that you would like to share? That we're loved. God loves us. He doesn't hate us. And he means well for us. But he's not going to do it for us. And we do have responsibility. This is our road, our path, our life.

33:59 How important is forgiveness in your journey and in your healing? Very important. Direct command. I had to forgive my father. That was a big one. I don't know if I even finished truthfully. I'm working on it for nine years. I'm better. I had to ask God to forgive me. Because I judged him wrong. But I know it's important because they didn't give me a lot of commands. And they gave me that one. Forgive them for they know not what they do. And what they do is to their soul. Now, why do I got to forgive them if there's a God?

34:40 He could forgive them. But he told me to do it. That's important. And I do do it. And that was for you, not for them. How about forgiving yourself? Well, I was the victim. I did nothing wrong. So I forgive myself for judging God, yes. Because that was my biggest sin in my eyes. I still do it sometimes. But I stop myself. Because I want things and how come I'm getting them and whose fault is it? You know, I always have to monitor it. But I really know the truth now. That's the difference. Okay. Mindy, thanks a lot.

35:20 Appreciate your time. My pleasure. I'll see you next time.