Rebecca's 2 Year Near Death Experience (NDE)

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Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody.

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We are happy to have a special guest from Denver,

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Colorado with us today but I want to give just

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a little bit of background first about Rebecca.

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It seems like every week I'm coming on saying

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this is not your usual NDE and that's because

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none of them are usual or average. If I said

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this happened for two whole years no one would

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believe me. Some explanation will be coming and

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there's a gray area between I'm gonna use I'm

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gonna use all the three -letter terms NDE STE

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OBE These profound spiritual experiences and

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I don't feel like putting any definitions on

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any of them today We'll just let the listeners

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do that, but you're gonna love Rebecca. So Rebecca

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welcome Thank you so much, Eric. It's so great

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to be here. Hi to your viewers. Before we jump

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in, I would love our viewers to get to know you.

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So if you take a minute, tell us a little bit

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about you. Just my real life, my regular life.

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I'm a speech language pathologist. I work with

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children. I have a daughter, live in Colorado,

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but I'm from New Orleans. And I did have a two

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year long near death like or spiritually transformative

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experience from age 26 to 28. As long as you

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brought it up why mess around let's jump right

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into it. What was going on that led up to this?

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Okay. Well, the background was that I had a trauma

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So while I didn't physically die like in a near

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-death experience at age 13 I had a really traumatic

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experience and in a way I kind of spiritually

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died Do you mind telling us a little bit about

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that one? I was assaulted I woke up in the middle

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of being assaulted when I was 13 and I was at

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my friend's house and it was really awful. And

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I spent a lot of time in therapy. I was kind

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of the perfect kid. And then I had this trauma

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just imposed into my life. And I kept trying

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to be perfect on the outside, great student,

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you know, nice person, good family, but this

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trauma was like, kind of eating me alive on the

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inside. And I went to therapy. And eventually

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my therapists in college and after college told

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me that I was fine and that I didn't need any

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more therapy. But I knew that I wasn't fine.

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So that's kind of what led me to keep healing.

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I'm so sorry that that happened to you. And by

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the way, any questions that I ask that you don't

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feel like answering, you don't have to. It's

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OK. No, thanks. Some people don't want to hear

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about it, but some people do. And I've just I've

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started sharing about it because I know it helps

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people. So OK. And that's probably plenty of

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detail. So what did that have to do with the

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experience that you had when you were 26 years

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old? Yeah, so I was basically from age 23 to

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26. I had decided that I wanted to heal all the

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way This was kind of my goal in life. I remember

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saying at 23 I want to heal all the way and I

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was trying to do things that would help me feel

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my heart because I just felt like after this

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trauma even though my therapist told me I was

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okay, I still love therapists, but I think there's

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just more I had to do to heal and I just felt

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like something was on top of my heart and I kept

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trying to feel what was under it and so as I

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was going like trying to feel my heart and like

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learn how to heal myself I was writing my journal

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Dear God and I would write Dear God and I would

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just write about my life and then one night when

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I was 26 and I was in actually in graduate school

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I spontaneously devoted my life to God in my

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journal. So I wrote, Dear God, I have decided

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to give my life to you and whatever that entails.

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I want to be guided by you by the light. This

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is my pledge. I will work hard to follow this

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path and bring it to fruition. Please help me

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do this. Please help me bring light to other

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people. Thank you. Amen. I just wrote that out

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of the blue and I was crying. I've had to memorize

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it because I share about it but I just was writing

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in my journal about life and then I just got

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really like taken over and said I wanted to give

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my life to God. So that's what started my two

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-year -long experience. Were you religious at

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all before that? Well, it's a very good question.

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I come from an interfaith family. I was raised

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Jewish, but my mom converted to Judaism and she

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came from 200 years of Methodist ministers on

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her side and like some of them are in books.

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In fact, my aunts and uncles on that side of

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the family have heard my story and they're like,

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oh yeah, that happens to us all the time. I think

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it's kind of a family thing, but so I'm interfaith

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Jewish and Christian. Okay. It seems like, you

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know, YouTube's a weird place. And of course

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the audio version of this is on all the regular

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podcast apps, but on YouTube it's easy for people

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to comment. And it seems like almost any time

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that somebody starts talking about devoting their

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life to God, somebody just feels like they have

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to comment and go, you've got some, you know,

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whole Christian thing that you're trying to shove

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down our throats or something. This show is,

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what's the term that I'm looking for? I don't

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want to call it agnostic, but we are not pushing

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any faith on anybody. All we're doing is listening

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to people's stories. It's a safe place to do

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that. So Rebecca, keep going. Okay. Well, on

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top of that, between the Jewish and the Christian

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I had, and indigenous steps out of my 20s. So

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I'm truly interfaith. And I didn't mean to write,

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dear God, I want to give my life to you. I was

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just writing that. So yeah, there are a ton of

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questions that come up from that. Well, it sounds

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like a prayer. It was a prayer that was very

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spontaneous. So after I wrote that, I didn't

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really think much about it. And I was just going,

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I went, I was going to sleep. And as I was getting

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ready to fall asleep that night I saw a light

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come over my bed it went from one end of the

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room to right over me and it was like a white

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light that could see into my heart and my soul

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and I was really scared for this light to see

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me because it was like I still was hiding a lot

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of myself so I tensed up and I said go away I'm

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scared go away I'm scared right to the light

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I didn't know what it was. And then once I said

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that, I started to feel this tingling come in

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my head and it started to spread from the top

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of my head and come down my head. And it was

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very loving and it felt like a loving headache.

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I was like, this is a weird headache because

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it felt like love and peace in my head. And as

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I felt that it got stronger and stronger, I had

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a boyfriend at the time and I looked at him.

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He was asleep and I was like, should I wake him

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up? Is he having this really weird headache?

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I don't know what this headache is. it got stronger,

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I just relaxed into the feeling and I felt a

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voice come into my head. I swear I asked myself

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a million times, I thought I was losing my mind,

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but the voice came in and it said, you don't

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have to be afraid in the most loving way. You

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don't have to be afraid, but if you are, you

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can wear a hat. And it put a graduation hat into

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my mind's eye. And at the time I thought that

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was an ugly hat and I said right back to the

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voice, here are some other hats you could choose,

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because that one's not cute. Because I didn't

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know what was happening to me. But now I know

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like at the time I was actually a graduate student

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at Columbia University Teachers College. And

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the message was I think you can wear the hat

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of a graduate student and make it through while

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you go through what became two years of spiritual

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experiences. I just really didn't know what was

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happening. Before you move on, can I please ask

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more about this light? Was the whole room light?

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Was a little pinprick of light? It was like this

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maybe, and it went from one end of the room to

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right over me. I honestly think if I had better

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spiritual sight, it might have looked bigger

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or like an angel or something, but I could just

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see this light, and it was like moving up to

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over my head. I knew it wasn't like a light you

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turn on in the room, because like you turn on

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a light, it's not a big deal. This was like a

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light that was seeing into my heart, and I could

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feel it, and I was terrified of it. I'm not ready

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for this level of like, I don't know what it

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was. It was just seeing all the parts of myself

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that I was still hiding. I heard people tell

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me about seeing spheres that were light of different

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colors. Sometimes there were people that they

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knew that had passed away in these lights. Would

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you describe that light as round like a sphere

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or more like just a bulb of light that turned

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on? It was round, you know, I wish I would have

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written all of this down because it was just

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happening and I was like, I think I'm crazy.

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So I didn't write a lot, I wrote some of it down.

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It was white, round, but I think as it moved

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up, I kind of imagine like feel it was definitely

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round, but it might've been like waving up over

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me kind of. It sounds like the feeling was even

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stronger than what you were seeing right? Yes,

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it was looking into my heart It was like it was

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like my soul was being met by this light It wasn't

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my personality that I got by in school and I

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was like Rebecca and I was your friend This was

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like, okay. Who are you really? I'm looking at

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that part of you No, that's okay and if you don't

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mind I'm gonna keep digging just a little bit

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and maybe it'll help you put all this together

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in your mind also. You keep talking about it

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almost as if it had some kind of a life or personality

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or something. Could you expound on that a little

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bit? Oh, the light? Yeah. It felt like a loving

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presence. So I guess when I say it, I'm thinking

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of, well, I guess I could say God. I don't know

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if God just comes into people's rooms with like

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a light. but that's what I wrote in my journal.

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The light was just loving and kind and seeing

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me, but it was strong. It was loving, but it

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was also intense. Why do you think you were afraid

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of it? I think my personality was afraid of it

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because I think many of us, and I know I was

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very used to hiding my true self. I think there

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were a lot of parts of me that were covered up.

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From my trauma or just from being in society

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and and I had gotten really used to not like

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I don't know it was like being seen Fully and

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I was just I was afraid to be seen But these

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are good questions. No one ever has asked me

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this. So thanks Eric. I'm taking over for your

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therapist Okay, I've actually never gone to therapy

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about this I've spoken to like my stepdad and

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spiritual people about it, but not I'll send

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you the bill later Okay, tell me about this headache

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Okay, so I really the only language I had for

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it was that was a headache, but it was like tingling

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It just started like once the light and I was

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so scared then then the light like I guess it

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went to my head And it was going like I felt

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like this tingling and I was like, what is this

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headache? It was just getting really strong and

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it felt loving and peaceful but stronger and

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stronger and stronger It felt like I was getting

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a love massage on the top of my head. Wow, that's

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really awesome Yeah, I did not know. I wish I

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wouldn't have talked back to the voice. I wish

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I wouldn't have told the light to go away. I

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feel like I made a promise that my soul went

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into make when my personality was like WTF. What

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did I just do? I have a feeling the light didn't

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mind. That's a good point. It didn't mind. Like

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as soon as I talked back to the voice and said

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that was a bad hat choice. The voice did just

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stop in that moment, but it wasn't like it was

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upset. It just knew I wasn't ready to hear anymore.

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But like, what if I would have just said, OK,

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thanks for the hat. And it would have kept going.

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But I didn't do that. All right. What happened

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next? Well, I went to bed and I woke up the next

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morning thinking like that was really weird.

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I really don't know what that was about. And

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then I'm walking to class and I see beautiful,

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ethereal white light coming out of everyone I

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pass like everyone was an angel. And I had never

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seen that before. When I was in a place of trauma,

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I thought everyone I ever saw was really angry.

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And now I was seeing like that everyone was really,

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really beautiful and had all this light coming

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out of them. And it wasn't just like auras, like

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different colors. It was just like a beautiful

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white light coming out of everyone. Like I could

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see their souls and I just was in love with everyone.

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And that was the next thing that happened. And

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then I thought I was going crazy again. So then

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I started having psychic dreams. So like the

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first few things happened the very first week

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and they haven't really stopped I don't see the

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light as bright but I do see the light in everyone

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and I started having psychic dreams and I still

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have those now Give me an example Okay, so My

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mom was a PhD psychologist and my dad was an

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MD with a PhD in biochemistry. So psychic dreams

00:13:00.769 --> 00:13:03.110
were not a thing in my family. Some people grew

00:13:03.110 --> 00:13:05.330
up with that. I didn't. I grew up analyzing my

00:13:05.330 --> 00:13:07.590
dreams. So some of the biggest ones I've had

00:13:07.590 --> 00:13:10.429
about events were like mostly my own life, like

00:13:10.429 --> 00:13:13.169
a dream about a car accident. And then I have

00:13:13.169 --> 00:13:16.100
the car accident five days later. a dream about

00:13:16.100 --> 00:13:18.399
getting carbon monoxide poisoning, and then I

00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:21.279
got it and survived it like that week. And I

00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:23.399
don't always remember the time. Dreams about

00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:25.399
my friends, they come to me in my dreams and

00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:27.279
tell me things, and then they tell me the same

00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:29.860
thing in real life. So those were starting to

00:13:29.860 --> 00:13:32.039
happen right away. And I just remember doing

00:13:32.039 --> 00:13:34.460
things and thinking, oh my gosh, I dreamt this.

00:13:34.820 --> 00:13:37.720
And I had never had that before. That's been

00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:41.539
a consistent part of my life since then. Okay,

00:13:41.539 --> 00:13:43.620
you mentioned that this whole experience was

00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:46.059
about two years though, and now you're talking

00:13:46.059 --> 00:13:48.679
about things keeping going. Let's get back to

00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:51.299
the two -year window. We've talked about the

00:13:51.299 --> 00:13:53.700
beginning. Was there sort of an ending to it?

00:13:53.899 --> 00:13:56.659
Yeah, so that all of these things started within

00:13:56.659 --> 00:13:58.779
the two years and there was an ending. Other

00:13:58.779 --> 00:14:00.519
things that happened were like I felt angels

00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:04.019
around me, really, really strong, like right

00:14:04.019 --> 00:14:07.019
around me, like loving presences. A few other

00:14:07.019 --> 00:14:09.389
things that had happened, I saw an an alternate

00:14:09.389 --> 00:14:11.690
and lived an alternate timeline of my life during

00:14:11.690 --> 00:14:14.289
those two years. So all these things would happen

00:14:14.289 --> 00:14:16.509
and it was just like I think most of it was getting

00:14:16.509 --> 00:14:19.230
me on the right path. I also had a spontaneous

00:14:19.230 --> 00:14:22.049
life review where like while I was alive like

00:14:22.049 --> 00:14:24.690
just seeing and feeling in my body how much everything

00:14:24.690 --> 00:14:27.929
I did affected everyone around me. But the ending

00:14:27.929 --> 00:14:30.090
was the most beautiful and the hardest part of

00:14:30.090 --> 00:14:32.269
my experience. So during those two years, I was

00:14:32.269 --> 00:14:34.149
like, I'm learning all this cool stuff and I

00:14:34.149 --> 00:14:36.409
think when I'm done, I'm gonna go. Like I just

00:14:36.409 --> 00:14:38.149
had this sense that either it was gonna continue

00:14:38.149 --> 00:14:41.690
the rest of my life. Or if it did end, it was

00:14:41.690 --> 00:14:43.769
because I was going to be leaving and going to

00:14:43.769 --> 00:14:45.549
heaven. I don't even know what I thought was

00:14:45.549 --> 00:14:47.509
going to happen. That's not really possible.

00:14:47.850 --> 00:14:50.529
But the end was I was in my room and I was talking

00:14:50.529 --> 00:14:53.210
to this beautiful, glowing person. And I was

00:14:53.210 --> 00:14:55.110
talking with him and my room was full of light.

00:14:55.210 --> 00:14:57.250
And I was saying, life is hard and I don't know

00:14:57.250 --> 00:14:59.629
why I'm here. And I don't know what I'm doing.

00:15:00.230 --> 00:15:01.730
Even though I was having all these beautiful

00:15:01.730 --> 00:15:04.590
spiritual experiences. And he's looking at me

00:15:04.590 --> 00:15:07.029
with all this love and all this light is just

00:15:07.029 --> 00:15:09.049
shining out of his eyes and his heart. And he's

00:15:09.049 --> 00:15:11.669
just saying like, life is amazing. I just felt

00:15:11.669 --> 00:15:14.409
like how much love there was for me. He was saying

00:15:14.409 --> 00:15:17.190
how great life was. I needed to go have adventures.

00:15:17.509 --> 00:15:19.870
I needed to go live a great life and that being

00:15:19.870 --> 00:15:23.169
alive was a real gift. And then I thought in

00:15:23.169 --> 00:15:25.269
the dream, I remember saying, oh my gosh, like

00:15:25.269 --> 00:15:26.850
I felt all this love and I thought he was going

00:15:26.850 --> 00:15:28.929
to be my boyfriend. And I said, what's your name?

00:15:29.070 --> 00:15:31.669
When am I going to meet you? And he said, my

00:15:31.669 --> 00:15:34.559
name is Jonathan. And you can meet me when you

00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:36.980
finish swimming. And there was like no judgment

00:15:36.980 --> 00:15:39.039
that I had made this really ridiculous assumption.

00:15:39.139 --> 00:15:40.960
I really thought for a long time that he was

00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.840
a real person. I haven't met him. He was definitely

00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:45.299
an angel because most people don't glow that.

00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:49.399
I mean people glow but not that much. He said

00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:51.139
you can meet me when you finish swimming and

00:15:51.139 --> 00:15:53.320
the dream shifted from me talking to him in my

00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:55.539
room with all this light to me being on a big

00:15:55.539 --> 00:15:58.320
ship at night and lowered down into the ocean

00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:00.759
and having to just swim out alone into the ocean.

00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:04.659
And I woke up the next morning and literally

00:16:04.659 --> 00:16:06.879
all the light was gone. All the light I'd felt,

00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:09.539
all the angels I'd felt around me. And I was

00:16:09.539 --> 00:16:11.480
very confused. It felt like I got gut punched.

00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:14.860
And I was like, where did all the light go? And

00:16:14.860 --> 00:16:16.720
I just thought God left me and abandoned me.

00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:19.960
And I spent pretty much a fair few years in a

00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:22.799
deep depression. Because I didn't really understand

00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:24.879
why it would stop and why I would be left here,

00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:27.039
honestly. Because it was like I saw light in

00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:29.720
everything and then it was gone. That must have

00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.940
been hard. It was hard. I went and lived in the

00:16:32.940 --> 00:16:36.600
woods by myself. My family was down the road

00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:40.899
technically, but my friends during that time,

00:16:40.899 --> 00:16:44.580
they told me that I couldn't really talk. I didn't

00:16:44.580 --> 00:16:47.360
know how to process and integrate that experience

00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:52.460
for a long time. How long did that take? It ended

00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:55.259
in 2008 and I finally started talking about it

00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:59.659
in 2023, but I spent a long time first trying

00:16:59.659 --> 00:17:01.220
to figure out how to give back to the light.

00:17:01.320 --> 00:17:02.899
Like I remember looking around, like I would

00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:04.539
go in the woods and be like, is all the light

00:17:04.539 --> 00:17:05.900
here? Like where did it go? I was just like,

00:17:05.900 --> 00:17:07.839
and then I thought, no, maybe I just made all

00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:09.940
that up. Like I must have just lost my mind and

00:17:09.940 --> 00:17:12.500
that's not real. And I was like, wait, I think

00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:14.599
it's real. Cause I keep having the psychic dreams

00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:17.019
and I would start to do these prayers with the

00:17:17.019 --> 00:17:19.339
angels I'd felt and start to feel guidance. So,

00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.680
but yeah, it took me about 15 years to start

00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:24.740
to actually accept it and start talking about

00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:28.680
it. So. Yeah, it's a long time. Okay, I want

00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:31.339
to go back and ask you about some of these things

00:17:31.339 --> 00:17:34.640
Filling angels around you regularly. What was

00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.039
that like? It was awesome. I felt like I had

00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.779
all these team this team of helpers It felt like

00:17:39.779 --> 00:17:42.359
I needed to listen to them Because they would

00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:44.240
tell me like I would feel guidance about what

00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:46.539
I needed to do like different things I should

00:17:46.539 --> 00:17:50.400
do and it just felt like Like people made of

00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:53.019
light standing right next to me Over time I've

00:17:53.019 --> 00:17:54.619
been like, okay, that was real Let me try to

00:17:54.619 --> 00:17:56.920
reconnect and I part of the whole experience

00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.200
was that I was just totally in with God and God

00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:02.099
did everything or whatever the creator love Divine

00:18:02.099 --> 00:18:04.299
love and now I like have to be an equal partner

00:18:04.299 --> 00:18:07.019
and when I do my sessions I just reconnect to

00:18:07.019 --> 00:18:09.880
that I feel them and then they like go but I

00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:12.380
just know what it feels like from this experience

00:18:12.380 --> 00:18:15.660
Did you feel some kind of personal relationship

00:18:15.660 --> 00:18:18.980
with these angels? Yeah, they felt like my best

00:18:18.980 --> 00:18:21.359
friends kind of but like soul best friends like

00:18:21.369 --> 00:18:23.990
Like they knew me deeper than most people like

00:18:23.990 --> 00:18:27.269
anyone. Yeah, I didn't know who they were. They

00:18:27.269 --> 00:18:29.769
felt like one time I felt them step forward and

00:18:29.769 --> 00:18:31.970
they felt really tall. Two of them on either

00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:34.750
shoulder felt really tall, but also just felt

00:18:34.750 --> 00:18:36.630
like a deep heart knowing and I didn't always

00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:39.690
even see them. I just felt them. They felt like

00:18:39.690 --> 00:18:43.769
light. Great questions, by the way. My job and

00:18:43.769 --> 00:18:46.869
I'm sticking to it. I have also not talked to

00:18:46.869 --> 00:18:50.450
anybody that I can remember that had a life review.

00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:54.880
outside of a typical NDE and you called it a

00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:57.319
spontaneous life review. What do you mean by

00:18:57.319 --> 00:19:00.920
that and what brought it on? So this really just

00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:02.559
started because I was talking to my sister on

00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:06.059
the phone and I had heard her feelings by accident

00:19:06.059 --> 00:19:08.519
and it wasn't like I saw everything but it was

00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:11.319
so close to what NDEers describe that that's

00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:13.680
what I call it. While we were on the phone after

00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:16.220
I'd kind of dropped the ball for her with this

00:19:16.220 --> 00:19:19.329
thing it really mattered to her. I suddenly just

00:19:19.329 --> 00:19:21.650
felt all of her feelings. I felt how much it

00:19:21.650 --> 00:19:24.289
had hurt her and it was like in my body. And

00:19:24.289 --> 00:19:26.890
I thought, oh my gosh, I didn't even know I was

00:19:26.890 --> 00:19:28.970
affecting anyone and I didn't know that I'd hurt

00:19:28.970 --> 00:19:32.750
her. This was just a very real experience. I

00:19:32.750 --> 00:19:36.589
just remember feeling like just completely like

00:19:36.589 --> 00:19:40.440
jaw -droppingly devastated. because I felt how

00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:43.599
she was feeling. And then I was feeling how other

00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.339
people were feeling, like how much it mattered

00:19:45.339 --> 00:19:48.640
if I was kind to someone. It just felt like in

00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:51.660
my body and my spirit really knew what my actions

00:19:51.660 --> 00:19:54.299
were doing with other people and even my words

00:19:54.299 --> 00:19:56.420
and my thoughts. It's kind of an intense way

00:19:56.420 --> 00:20:00.019
to live. Yeah, it is. So what did you learn from

00:20:00.019 --> 00:20:02.960
that? Kindness is really important. Forgiveness

00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:06.119
is important. And respecting everybody as a beautiful

00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:10.160
soul who comes from God, creator, source. Seeing

00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.579
that light and treating it as the light within

00:20:12.579 --> 00:20:15.799
each person. So that's basically what I learned.

00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:17.680
But sometimes I don't do that very well. Sometimes

00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.299
I get overwhelmed. But even if I was upset a

00:20:22.299 --> 00:20:24.519
little bit in my heart, and I remember going

00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:26.339
to teachers when I would work in the schools

00:20:26.339 --> 00:20:28.059
after my experience ended, I would go up and

00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:30.460
be like, I'm so sorry. I was grumpy and they're

00:20:30.460 --> 00:20:32.940
like, you weren't grumpy. I was like, oh, inside

00:20:32.940 --> 00:20:35.619
I was. I just, I couldn't, I couldn't live with

00:20:35.619 --> 00:20:39.579
myself. You faked it on the outside. Well, welcome

00:20:39.579 --> 00:20:43.259
to being human. I know. Right? We try and we

00:20:43.259 --> 00:20:46.079
don't always do that great of a job, but nobody

00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.680
even noticed. I'm going to come back to this

00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:51.680
Jonathan thing later. Okay. How's this changed

00:20:51.680 --> 00:20:53.940
your life? What do you do differently now because

00:20:53.940 --> 00:20:57.309
of this whole thing? Well, a few things. So now

00:20:57.309 --> 00:20:59.910
that I've integrated it, well, right away I shifted

00:20:59.910 --> 00:21:02.329
my whole life to work with children. So I had

00:21:02.329 --> 00:21:04.230
been doing a lot of research and nothing against

00:21:04.230 --> 00:21:08.230
research. I just think my sole blueprint, like

00:21:08.230 --> 00:21:11.730
I have to work with kids. I work with a lot of

00:21:11.730 --> 00:21:13.910
high needs children now. That was never really

00:21:13.910 --> 00:21:16.210
part of my plan. If I see someone suffering,

00:21:16.230 --> 00:21:18.369
I have to help them. I can't just walk by and

00:21:18.369 --> 00:21:21.490
not care. I see the light in people and I did

00:21:21.490 --> 00:21:23.349
joke during my spiritual experience, especially

00:21:23.349 --> 00:21:25.630
I was like, eventually I was a single woman in

00:21:25.630 --> 00:21:28.210
New York and every boy was glowing and it was

00:21:28.210 --> 00:21:30.250
really hard for me to date. Like I was like,

00:21:30.250 --> 00:21:32.630
wow, I love you, you know, like to everyone.

00:21:33.130 --> 00:21:35.529
So that was kind of funny. It's true though.

00:21:35.569 --> 00:21:38.230
I think I was kind of freaking people out. Yeah,

00:21:38.230 --> 00:21:41.150
I just think, and I have to kind of stay in tune

00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:43.769
with that light, that love I felt in my heart.

00:21:44.049 --> 00:21:46.390
So I kind of try to tend to it, like, especially

00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:48.049
now that I'm back in touch with it. I used to

00:21:48.049 --> 00:21:50.690
not. Try to be in touch with it because I was

00:21:50.690 --> 00:21:53.589
I thought I've made it up but and then but now

00:21:53.589 --> 00:21:57.269
I just Actively connect to that love and I do

00:21:57.269 --> 00:22:00.470
it every day. Otherwise, I feel really lost Also

00:22:00.470 --> 00:22:02.210
that kind of wanting to leave the planet thing

00:22:02.210 --> 00:22:04.670
that NDE people have I really relate to even

00:22:04.670 --> 00:22:06.809
though it all happened while I was here I'm always

00:22:06.809 --> 00:22:09.029
longing for all of that light that I saw and

00:22:09.029 --> 00:22:13.190
felt like to just be here all the time I don't

00:22:13.190 --> 00:22:15.049
know why I got to see it for a little while and

00:22:15.049 --> 00:22:16.750
then it went but I'm hoping it will come back

00:22:16.750 --> 00:22:20.000
for everyone Well, and that's a really hard thing,

00:22:20.019 --> 00:22:23.440
as you know, for regular near -death experiencers,

00:22:23.779 --> 00:22:26.720
it's not easy coming back. They're a different

00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:30.200
person and depression sometimes happens, sometimes

00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:33.279
not. Quite often big changes happen in their

00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:36.220
life. The divorce rate's super high, changing

00:22:36.220 --> 00:22:39.900
careers is, you know, a really high percentage,

00:22:40.019 --> 00:22:42.789
a lot of kinds of things like that. and you just

00:22:42.789 --> 00:22:44.490
had to figure out how to work your way through

00:22:44.490 --> 00:22:47.509
it for a lot of years. But I can tell you're

00:22:47.509 --> 00:22:49.690
happy you've done well and come out on the other

00:22:49.690 --> 00:22:53.539
end. took a long time. My stepdad really helped

00:22:53.539 --> 00:22:55.240
because I mentioned, you know, I have this very

00:22:55.240 --> 00:22:58.059
interfaith background. My stepdad was an indigenous

00:22:58.059 --> 00:23:00.960
man who came from a medicine tradition. But,

00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:02.700
you know, on the outside, he was like a Marine

00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:04.680
and an engineer. But as soon as my spiritual

00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:06.579
experience started, he was starting to have dreams

00:23:06.579 --> 00:23:09.500
about me. And so not only did he really verify

00:23:09.500 --> 00:23:11.799
what was happening to me that later helped me

00:23:11.799 --> 00:23:13.799
accept it, but he also kind of he wrote me some

00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:16.740
letters about you know, how to walk in this path

00:23:16.740 --> 00:23:20.079
of being connected to God and the Creator from

00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:22.859
his tradition that was really helpful. All right,

00:23:22.940 --> 00:23:25.680
just a couple more things. One is, let's get

00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.859
back to Jonathan. Okay, my pretend boyfriend,

00:23:29.059 --> 00:23:31.019
yeah. Just because you haven't met him yet doesn't

00:23:31.019 --> 00:23:34.500
mean he's pretend. Okay, I really waited every,

00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:36.299
so it ended and I had that dream and he was like,

00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:37.640
you'll meet me when you finish swimming and like

00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:40.799
for every week and then... every month and then

00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:43.099
every year until I gave up, I was like, I think

00:23:43.099 --> 00:23:45.019
I'm done swimming. I'm going to meet this amazing

00:23:45.019 --> 00:23:47.960
guy. But then I thought most people aren't that

00:23:47.960 --> 00:23:50.220
full of love. Like everyone has that potential.

00:23:50.279 --> 00:23:53.160
But I don't think anyway, I think I think I finally

00:23:53.160 --> 00:23:55.759
decided in the last few years he was an angelic

00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:59.660
being. He was very full of light and I felt completely

00:23:59.660 --> 00:24:02.279
seen and completely loved in a really deep way.

00:24:02.779 --> 00:24:06.019
And that whole thing was symbolic, right? Yeah.

00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:09.809
The ship, the water. So what does swimming really

00:24:09.809 --> 00:24:13.210
mean? How have you interpreted it? Is it the

00:24:13.210 --> 00:24:15.150
end of some kind of journey you're on right now?

00:24:15.550 --> 00:24:17.829
I think it was that I needed to learn how to

00:24:17.829 --> 00:24:19.890
live a spiritual life in the physical world.

00:24:20.069 --> 00:24:21.849
And I think in the beginning I was drowning.

00:24:22.069 --> 00:24:23.990
I didn't know how to do that and I wanted to

00:24:23.990 --> 00:24:26.410
leave. And then it was just, I think it's the

00:24:26.410 --> 00:24:28.609
rest of my life. I think about that dream more

00:24:28.609 --> 00:24:30.829
and more now that I tell it. I remembered it

00:24:30.829 --> 00:24:32.549
was nighttime. Like I always knew that, but I

00:24:32.549 --> 00:24:34.369
never talked about that part. It was nighttime

00:24:34.369 --> 00:24:36.950
and then there was no shore in sight. I was just

00:24:36.950 --> 00:24:39.130
swimming in the middle of the ocean at night.

00:24:39.769 --> 00:24:42.829
So I think it's the rest of my life is me swimming.

00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:45.839
And maybe he's one of my angels I'll get to meet

00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:50.500
when I finish this life. I don't know. That makes

00:24:50.500 --> 00:24:54.339
sense to me. But I will be careful to not put

00:24:54.339 --> 00:24:56.720
your email address in the show notes because

00:24:56.720 --> 00:24:59.700
every Jonathan in the world may be emailing you.

00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:02.160
Don't worry. I've already emailed them. I used

00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:03.579
to email people named Jonathan and be like, I

00:25:03.579 --> 00:25:05.220
think I had a dream about you. No, I would think

00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:07.299
I never actually did it. But like how weird would

00:25:07.299 --> 00:25:09.480
that be? But I did used to like specifically

00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:11.440
try to date people named Jonathan because I thought

00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:13.920
maybe it would be him. like get on Tinder and

00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:16.720
look for all the Jonathans. No, it was more just

00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:19.000
like if their name was Jonathan, I would give

00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:23.420
them a chance. But I honestly, I think the thing

00:25:23.420 --> 00:25:25.420
that was really confusing, but also beautiful

00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:28.279
was that I saw light in everyone. So it was almost

00:25:28.279 --> 00:25:30.500
like if I was on a date or even with my friends

00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:32.619
who are girls like anyone, I would just be like,

00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:35.180
oh, you have that same light that I saw. Like

00:25:35.180 --> 00:25:37.059
everyone has it. And then I would also think

00:25:37.059 --> 00:25:39.000
like maybe everybody's that guy because I was

00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.019
just seeing so much light if I kept looking into

00:25:42.019 --> 00:25:45.059
people's eyes and into their hearts. Just such

00:25:45.059 --> 00:25:48.059
beautiful light, so. It seems like how God sees

00:25:48.059 --> 00:25:51.160
all of us. Yeah, and I got the littlest glimpse.

00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:53.740
I think he's, God sees us much bigger, but much

00:25:53.740 --> 00:25:55.619
more, but I got a little glimpse and it's really

00:25:55.619 --> 00:25:58.319
beautiful. Yeah, very cool. Okay, I'm going to

00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:00.440
give you the last minute. Leave us with some

00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:02.859
kind of a message of hope. There's a lot of people

00:26:02.859 --> 00:26:05.759
out there struggling today. Yeah, thanks, Eric.

00:26:05.900 --> 00:26:08.380
First, I'm sorry if you're suffering and struggling.

00:26:08.900 --> 00:26:11.779
Life is not guaranteed to be easy, but I do truly

00:26:11.779 --> 00:26:14.460
believe because of my experience that your prayers

00:26:14.460 --> 00:26:17.019
are heard, that you're deeply loved and deeply

00:26:17.019 --> 00:26:19.900
cared for, and that you can kind of reach out

00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:22.240
and feel that love that's there for you individually

00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:25.539
as a beautiful, beautiful soul. So don't give

00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:28.339
up and pray or whatever you want to call it.

00:26:28.339 --> 00:26:31.819
Call out to God, the Creator. That love is here

00:26:31.819 --> 00:26:35.109
for you. I really believe it. And what about

00:26:35.109 --> 00:26:37.809
the future after this life? Do we have something

00:26:37.809 --> 00:26:40.910
to look forward to, do you think? Yes, I think

00:26:40.910 --> 00:26:42.190
we definitely have something to look forward

00:26:42.190 --> 00:26:44.430
to, but hopefully, because my experience is a

00:26:44.430 --> 00:26:46.049
little different, I hope we can all look forward

00:26:46.049 --> 00:26:48.430
to seeing all that light right here. I'm not

00:26:48.430 --> 00:26:50.390
having to leave the planet. But yeah, I definitely

00:26:50.390 --> 00:26:53.150
believe there's definitely a beautiful world.

00:26:53.730 --> 00:26:56.769
And I think the goal is to bring it as much as

00:26:56.769 --> 00:26:59.250
we can bring it here, too. By the way, I want

00:26:59.250 --> 00:27:01.069
to give you a second just to mention your book

00:27:01.069 --> 00:27:04.750
if you'd like to. Sure. I recently wrote a book.

00:27:04.970 --> 00:27:07.210
So part of how I reconnected with my experience

00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:10.150
is I would write prayers and feel answers to

00:27:10.150 --> 00:27:12.569
prayers. And so I made a book of messages that

00:27:12.569 --> 00:27:15.069
I share. I share these messages on my Instagram

00:27:15.069 --> 00:27:17.250
and Facebook every day. Well, every day, Monday

00:27:17.250 --> 00:27:20.049
through Friday, I take the weekends off. But

00:27:20.049 --> 00:27:23.470
I feel these words come in. So I've made a book

00:27:23.470 --> 00:27:26.210
of them, of these messages. It's daily moments

00:27:26.210 --> 00:27:29.789
with the angels. It's 365 angel messages that

00:27:29.789 --> 00:27:32.819
I... That I wrote and every month has a little

00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:34.960
page where you can write your monthly reflections

00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:38.140
A lot of people in fact people who've had spiritual

00:27:38.140 --> 00:27:40.119
experience or near -death experiences says it

00:27:40.119 --> 00:27:43.279
really reminds them of what they felt So i'm

00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:45.099
just basically bringing that frequency through

00:27:45.099 --> 00:27:48.480
in this book Sounds beautiful. Send me a copy

00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:51.500
I'll send you a copy. I'd love to be an honor

00:27:51.500 --> 00:27:54.480
All right. Thanks again rebecca. Thank you so

00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:58.700
much. Thanks eric Thanks again for listening

00:27:58.700 --> 00:28:01.160
and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit

00:28:01.160 --> 00:28:03.980
the follow or subscribe button and sign up for

00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:06.859
our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you

00:28:06.859 --> 00:28:09.380
want to share your near -death experience or

00:28:09.380 --> 00:28:11.359
if you have questions or comments about the show,

00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:14.859
send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com.

00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.440
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're

00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:19.859
looking for in this life and the next.