Matt's NDE With Jesus, Then Hell

WEBVTT

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From the time that they pronounced me dead was

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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and

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I could see people screaming and crying but I

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didn't realize that was actually my physical

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body because I was somewhere else. The only thing

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that I could feel if you could imagine absolute

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love and peace there wasn't anything else to

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be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in

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the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe

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and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip

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Death, everybody. And we have a cool guest today,

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Matt Uribe. Matt, did I say that right? You did.

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Yes, you did. Uribe. Oh, hallelujah. I've been

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worried about that one since we did the pre -interview.

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No, it's fine. It's fine. Hey, before we jump

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into your NDE, I'm going to give everybody a

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little bit of a heads up. You've never heard

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one quite like this. And I'm saying that from

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my own experience because I've heard hundreds

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or thousands of near -death experiences and this

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one's a little different than anything I've ever

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heard and super interesting. Before we jump into

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that, Matt, I want our listeners to get to know

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you. Take just a minute or so and tell us who's

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Matt. Currently, right now, I'm in a MSW program

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at CUSTA at Long Beach going for my master's

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in social work. I really believe that the Lord

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set that path to get to where I'm at. You know,

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I'm excited to continue to help people. I really

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believe that the Lord has brought me here to

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help people with this NDE. Not only that, but

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even the path that I'm leading on right now is

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to gain more people, not only to Christ, but

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just to move forward with their lives in a positive

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way. You're obviously a believer. Have you always

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been? Did you grow up that way? All right, now

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here we go. So when I was younger, I grew up

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in a very authoritative type family, very religious.

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I will say this, it was kind of like a cult -like

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church. I will not mention the church, but I

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was fortunate enough to know Jesus from that

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church. However, it was the wrong impression.

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It was verbally abusive, physically once. So

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it really gave me a bad taste in my mouth of

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what Jesus was and who he stood for. So I really

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wanted nothing to do with Jesus at that time.

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I kind of backslid very early on at 12, you know,

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doing some dumb things, stealing, making bad

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decisions, kind of going down the wrong path

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at an early age. Okay, I think that kind of sets

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the stage and you're not an old guy, but we're

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gonna go back about 20 years You were pretty

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young then give us an idea. What was going on

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in your life that led up to your experience Yes,

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and this is pretty traumatic. I'll kind of make

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this a little shorter. So this all happened while

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I was Actually right out of high school. I was

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kind of wondering what to do with my life. What

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am I going to do with my life? Living with my

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parents at about 18 and they finally come to

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me at about 23, you know, I'm just kind of taking

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college classes here and there and they come

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to me and they're like, well, you know, what

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do you plan on doing with your life? You can't

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just stay here with us and, you know, live rent

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free and, you know, not do anything. So at that

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time I was thinking, well, the military sounds

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like an option. Let me go check out. some recruiters.

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As I moved forward, I found one in Lakewood.

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First was Marines, and this, mind you, was after

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9 -11. So people were joining constantly. So

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I was initially going to join the Marines, but

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the problem was I wasn't scared of fighting,

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but I was more like to help people. So I saw

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the Coast Guard. You know, they distinctly stood

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out to me because they were like, well, we do

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search and rescue. We're on the water. we more

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or less save people. So I went into the Coast

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Guard. Boot camp was pretty crazy and then I'm

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very proud of myself for getting through that

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and then being stationed in Oregon. I have a

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brother that is two years older and a younger

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brother who's six years younger. And me and my

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older brother were pretty close in age and then

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we grew up together and did a lot of things together

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and kind of drifted apart but still kept in contact

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at the end very closely. while I was in the Coast

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Guard, what we call is a tower watch. Basically,

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we go up in a tower and it is an ocean leading

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or sorry, and a river leading out to an ocean.

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And there's a bar that breaks. So basically,

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it's kind of like law enforcement would just

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sit out there and make sure no boats crossed

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that bar. Anyways, I get a phone call from the

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master chief. So I'm like telling me I have to

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go back to the station. And mind you, I've been

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in trouble before. So I'm like, oh, no. You know,

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what did I do now? Thinking like. I won't lie,

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you know, I want everything to be honest and

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out there. I was using at the time both me and

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my older brother, and I would kind of tell him

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about my experiences and he would tell me what

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his, so we kind of bonded over that, which wasn't,

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you know, healthy, but it made us close together

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and created a bond. And so I'm thinking I'm in

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trouble going back. So I go back and I see one

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of my friends. I'm like, hey before I get in

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the station. Hey, what's what's going on? You

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know, like what what's happening? And he's like

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what I think you're in trouble and to me I'm

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like, oh great Before I get into the master chief's

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office I see my best friend who's supplying me

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with some of the stuff I get in there and I'm

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thinking to myself. This is it My part is just

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out of my chest and then he's like, well, we've

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got a phone call from your dad. I'm thinking

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like, why is my dad calling the station? And

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then everything just went in a blur. He's like,

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your brother passed away. And then I just dropped

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to my knees and just let out a cry that just

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really, really hurt. Was kind of in shock at

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the time and then went back home for the funeral.

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And the problem was I had to go back to Oregon

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to do my time, finish my billet there. Yeah,

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away from my family, away from everything. And

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so that was pretty devastating for me. However,

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my mom wrote a note and, you know, long story

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short, I eventually get back to I get my last

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year, I get to spend in Long Beach at home in

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California with my family, thinking everything's

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going to be great, you know, I get to be with

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my family, you know, I get to spend time with

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them and kind of heal and get over this addiction.

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they didn't know and just be close with them,

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you know, and we'll all be one big happy family.

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That's just not how it worked and then didn't

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work out that way. I think this is all God's

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plan because everything fit into place when I

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tell the NDE and how this became about. Again,

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first day in Long Beach, you know, it was going

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great. And then what do I do? I find more people

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with, you know, drugs. And I'm thinking, oh,

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man, this is great because the drug of choice

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was methadone. It was something I can't explain.

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It just made me not feel you could have your

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worst day and it'll make you feel just incredible.

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And it was something that I got involved with.

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And if it wasn't for me coming back to Long Beach,

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I don't think I would have gotten off it. Probably

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don't think I'd be alive today. But in Long Beach,

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I found even harder drugs to do the job, which

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was ecstasy. You know, who knows what's, you

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know, laced in that stuff. Yeah, that's pretty

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much what's going to lead up to this NDE. Yeah.

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So self -medicating to get rid of the pain happens

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a lot. Okay. What happened next? Yeah. And I

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would try anything and everything. You know,

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I was at that point where this, I know this sounds

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bad and I nothing back to this a lot. I use my

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brother's death a lot as an excuse. You know,

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people obviously knew I had a problem and they're

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like, dude, we want to help. Or they would say,

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I would be drinking and they would say, oh, dude,

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he's drinking a lot. And then I would say, well,

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I lost my brother, you know, kind of use that

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as an excuse. So it was terrible. The great thing

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was I had a boss in Long Beach and man, he looked

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out for me. I probably wouldn't be here today

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without his help getting through that coast guard.

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But let me kind of tell you the story of how

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the NDE ended up happening now. mind you again

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this was 20 years ago but I will trifle in any

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gap that you have. Hey before you do let me just

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throw out a little sort of disclaimer here just

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to warn people we are going to be talking about

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a suicide situation so if that's something is

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triggering for you you may not want to listen

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we won't go into a lot of detail except for the

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NDE part but just wanted to get that out there

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ahead of time so people have an idea of what's

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coming in case they want to be prepared or turn

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this off for their children or something like

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that. And Matt, I really appreciate you trusting

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us. I know this is the first time that you've

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shared this publicly in this kind of a forum

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and with this many people. So thank you and we're

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here to listen. Go ahead. Yeah, no problem. And

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the reason why I'm sharing it, you know, I don't

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take this lightly. A lot of people will judge

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or say, oh, there's no way, there's no way that

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happened to you or how could that possibly be?

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But mind you, I had a previous NDE that was how

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I put it. It opened up my eyes but it didn't

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necessarily mean I thought it was real still.

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So then I tested the waters again and again and

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again because one of the NDE's I took an ecstasy,

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laid down and then was gone, I didn't realize.

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You don't realize when you're gone, you think

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you're going to be okay, but you're not. And

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I just felt a little tap on my heart and it started

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beating again. And I heard a voice say, go get

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water, go get water. And I did. That was a different

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night. So this night I had a conversation with

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my mom, very emotional about my brother. For

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those of you who don't know, ecstasy can be a

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pill that will get you blackout depressed. I

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mean, black holes in your brain of depression.

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And that's exactly what it did to me. Now mind

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you, it gave you two hours of basic just bliss,

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but then hell comes along with that. And that

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is the deep dark compression. So after I had

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that emotional talk with my mom brought me to

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tears, you know, because it was very, very close

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to after his death. She went to bed. This was

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probably about midnight. I had a bunch of ecstasy

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pills and voices were just overloading me. yes

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take that take that it's perfect you know you'll

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be fine you know I was so distorted in my mind

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that I thought yeah I'm gonna be fine you know

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where I was laying there was two twin beds by

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my brother's bed where I used to share a room

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with my brother when I was there my older brother

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there was a mirror and my bed was kind of kind

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of close to that mirror and I this is a thinking

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I had I I thought that I would be OK, if I just

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every couple of minutes, I'd like look to the

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mirror and go like this or something. This is

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the distorted thinking I had. Finally, at the

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point I and I want to say, you know, I don't

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want to cuss, but I said, F it, I'm out of here.

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I'm done with this world. Grabbed a bunch of

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ecstasy pills. I'm thinking seven or eight of

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them all different. Mind you, you don't know

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what you're getting. If those of you who have

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done either be heroin based, speed based, a bunch

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of different chemically induced pills took them

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again set up and I'm out of here went to go lay

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down and then all of a sudden something was in

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my body and it kind of touched my eyes touched

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my eyes and I was riding passenger in my body

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and the first thing that I noticed was I black

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out again and then it's all dark it's all just

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pitch black and then I hear the most beautiful

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prayers. And I'm like, wow, where is that coming

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from? Where am I hearing this? And I'm looking

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everywhere and it's just pitch black. I remember

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my brother singing a song. We used to listen

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to a band called Bad Religion, which was more

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of a punk kind of finding faith, but like not

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in religion. But there was a line in it says,

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When the only true Messiah rescues us from ourselves,

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there will be no sorrow." And they kept singing

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that. And it was my brother. I'm like, wow, I'm

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hearing my brother's voice. I must be going nuts.

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I'm out of it. And then the brightest light came

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down. I mean, brighter than the sun, brighter

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than any light you'd ever imagine. And then I

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heard this voice talking to me and just comforting

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me with this love, this peace, this joy, this

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mercy. It wasn't judging me. It was just love

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all around my body. And then I black out again.

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I come back to my brother's in my body dialing

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a phone number and it was to my friend and I

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black out again and he's like, don't worry, everything's

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going to be all right. And I'm thinking to myself,

00:13:35.779 --> 00:13:38.419
I'm losing my mind right now. I don't know what's

00:13:38.419 --> 00:13:41.070
going on. I'm not alive. I keep going in and

00:13:41.070 --> 00:13:44.889
out of reality and not reality and then I black

00:13:44.889 --> 00:13:48.409
out again and then I come to again and you have

00:13:48.409 --> 00:13:50.730
to have an open mind. My brother is in my body

00:13:50.730 --> 00:13:54.929
opening the door for my friend and he walks in

00:13:54.929 --> 00:13:58.110
and my brother is talking to him and my friend

00:13:58.110 --> 00:14:01.629
thinks I'm out of my mind and I can't say anything

00:14:01.629 --> 00:14:04.250
because I'm not in control of my body. We get

00:14:04.250 --> 00:14:06.429
in the kitchen and you know we're just talking

00:14:06.429 --> 00:14:10.809
and he's no it's Dave. It's Dave. This is Dave,

00:14:10.950 --> 00:14:14.190
not Matt. And again, he's thinking like, you

00:14:14.190 --> 00:14:17.190
know, I'm nuts, but I heard the voices of my

00:14:17.190 --> 00:14:20.370
brother, his voice. I mean, I can't explain it.

00:14:20.649 --> 00:14:23.250
He's like, well, let's go get some sleep. Dave's

00:14:23.250 --> 00:14:25.370
like, yeah, let's go upstairs. And this is where

00:14:25.370 --> 00:14:29.690
it gets a little hazy. When I go upstairs, we

00:14:29.690 --> 00:14:32.090
stop at my parents' room. My parents' room is

00:14:32.090 --> 00:14:34.570
kind of on the right. And Dave's like, wait,

00:14:34.750 --> 00:14:37.009
I got to go in here. My friend's like, no, man,

00:14:37.009 --> 00:14:39.509
you don't want to wake them up. Again, I'm riding

00:14:39.509 --> 00:14:41.490
passenger. I'm just hearing everything. I have

00:14:41.490 --> 00:14:44.649
no control or anything. I black out again and

00:14:44.649 --> 00:14:48.149
then we're on the bed He's on my brother's bed

00:14:48.149 --> 00:14:51.450
and I'm on my bed and my brother's just talking

00:14:51.450 --> 00:14:54.830
to him just telling him basically the future

00:14:54.830 --> 00:14:58.769
and mind you I know this sounds absolutely crazy,

00:14:58.769 --> 00:15:01.929
but he was telling him very good things about

00:15:01.929 --> 00:15:05.529
me and you know, what's gonna happen to him and

00:15:05.659 --> 00:15:07.480
I never have talked to my friend to this day

00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:10.559
about this because he was told me that your friend

00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:14.100
will find his wife through me but you guys will

00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:18.840
have a disagreement and eventually he found his

00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.200
wife through me a woman who I was dating what

00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.299
didn't work out I introduced them anyways it

00:15:24.299 --> 00:15:26.700
turned out you know they got together and then

00:15:26.700 --> 00:15:29.039
they're married but there was a falling out I

00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:30.980
won't get into that that just kind of irrelevant

00:15:31.289 --> 00:15:34.529
And then this is where the NDE really starts.

00:15:34.789 --> 00:15:36.970
He goes to bed and then my brother's like, we

00:15:36.970 --> 00:15:40.629
gotta go. And I'm thinking to myself, we gotta

00:15:40.629 --> 00:15:43.629
go, where are we going? It was like an elevator

00:15:43.629 --> 00:15:47.129
we were in and it immediately shot up. And it

00:15:47.129 --> 00:15:49.389
was like, I can't even explain it. You know,

00:15:49.490 --> 00:15:51.509
some people see tunnels, some people, you know,

00:15:51.610 --> 00:15:54.470
go through a very quick like teleportation. I

00:15:54.470 --> 00:15:56.610
don't know, but mine was like an elevator we

00:15:56.610 --> 00:15:59.409
were in and it just shot up immediately. He's

00:15:59.409 --> 00:16:03.179
like, Well, someone wants to talk to you and

00:16:03.179 --> 00:16:06.500
I'm like, okay, this is weird. But while I'm

00:16:06.500 --> 00:16:10.659
there mind you the Lord didn't allow me to see

00:16:10.659 --> 00:16:14.039
Anything of if it's called heaven or hell. I

00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:17.200
mean he didn't allow me to see it I felt everything

00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:21.519
and I felt pure joy Pure bliss like everything

00:16:21.519 --> 00:16:25.179
was it was home It felt like it was our our natural

00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:28.360
home where we belong in the end where our souls

00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:32.320
go in the end We get there. My brother told me

00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:35.879
before I went to go talk to this being, he's

00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:39.039
like, I'll never forget basically what you said

00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:42.600
on that paddle out. And sorry, I get a little

00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:46.519
emotional. We had a paddle out after his death

00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:51.700
and we all dropped laze. I was like, you're my

00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:56.519
brother and I love you and I always will. And

00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:59.269
he He's like, I'll never forget that. I'll take

00:16:59.269 --> 00:17:02.950
that with me. And I'll watch over you. Always.

00:17:03.769 --> 00:17:05.170
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I get a little emotional

00:17:05.170 --> 00:17:08.809
every time. I think about that one because, you

00:17:08.809 --> 00:17:12.329
know, my whole life I've been just kind of living

00:17:12.329 --> 00:17:15.329
with this guilt of his death thinking like, you

00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:18.470
know, the survivors go by, you know, I told him

00:17:18.470 --> 00:17:21.250
about this drug and it, you know, killed him.

00:17:21.529 --> 00:17:23.470
So something kind of I had to live with thinking

00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:26.940
the guilt's all on me here. But anyways, back

00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:31.000
to the NDE. Again, he's like, now you got to

00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:34.079
talk to some manago and it's Jesus. Now mind

00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:37.660
you, it's just brightness of light. Don't remember

00:17:37.660 --> 00:17:40.500
features. Again, I don't think the Lord wanted

00:17:40.500 --> 00:17:44.720
me to see him because it wasn't my time, but

00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.720
I do remember him telling me kind of like people

00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:51.200
have life reviews. I didn't really remember kind

00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:53.700
of what he was saying about my life review, but

00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.339
Like, do you remember there was this person I

00:17:56.339 --> 00:17:59.039
was seeing at the time and, you know, it wasn't

00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:01.259
going well and I was upset. He's like, no, that

00:18:01.259 --> 00:18:03.460
is not that is not going to be the right person

00:18:03.460 --> 00:18:06.740
for you. Now, again, Jesus starts telling me

00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:08.900
I'm not going to let you see what you're not

00:18:08.900 --> 00:18:11.220
supposed to see because basically it's not your

00:18:11.220 --> 00:18:13.660
time. He didn't say that, but he's kind of told

00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:15.619
me I'm not going to let you remember what I don't

00:18:15.619 --> 00:18:17.900
want you to remember. I'm like, you know, I think

00:18:17.900 --> 00:18:21.660
of myself, OK, but he did tell me a few things

00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:25.880
about my life at the time. How, no, this is not

00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:28.200
the right person. That's not going to happen.

00:18:28.259 --> 00:18:30.779
And I remember being upset about it. But Jesus

00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:33.700
is totally different. I mean, He wasn't angry,

00:18:33.940 --> 00:18:37.140
wasn't judging. He was very merciful. He just

00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:41.900
felt very disappointed in me that I would take

00:18:41.900 --> 00:18:44.680
my life and basically tell me your life's not

00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:47.819
yours to take. I gave you this life. I have a

00:18:47.819 --> 00:18:52.059
purpose for you, but when you're so much in darkness

00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:54.960
and there's just darkness around you, demonic

00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:58.259
things, it really distorts your mind. And, you

00:18:58.259 --> 00:19:00.019
know, to this day, I still struggle. But anyways,

00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:04.839
moving on to the NDE, he told me basically that

00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:08.059
you cannot stay. It's not your time. You have

00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:12.220
to go back. And I'm just upset because there,

00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:14.460
think of a methadone, like I was saying, that

00:19:14.460 --> 00:19:17.720
pure bliss, this was like a million times, billion

00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:20.809
times better. What we have awaiting for us is

00:19:20.809 --> 00:19:23.950
just, I can't even explain it. There are no words.

00:19:24.369 --> 00:19:27.230
It's beyond our human logic or comprehension.

00:19:27.509 --> 00:19:30.970
So anyways, he goes, you need to have faith.

00:19:31.490 --> 00:19:38.049
And immediately, I go down fast in darkness,

00:19:38.390 --> 00:19:43.029
just pure black. And it's the complete opposite

00:19:43.029 --> 00:19:46.130
feeling that I had when I was with the Lord.

00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:49.630
It was like an absence from the Lord. And it

00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:53.910
was, again, beyond human comprehension of fear.

00:19:54.369 --> 00:19:56.930
People could say fear, tormenting, terrifying.

00:19:57.569 --> 00:20:00.130
All those in one wouldn't even explain it. And

00:20:00.130 --> 00:20:03.490
I remember kind of being alone, wondering, where

00:20:03.490 --> 00:20:06.849
am I? I just went through this one ordeal of

00:20:06.849 --> 00:20:10.089
pure bliss. Now I'm in this ordeal of, I can't

00:20:10.089 --> 00:20:12.450
get out of this. I'm trying to get out. I can't

00:20:12.450 --> 00:20:14.769
get out of this. And mind you, what I forgot

00:20:14.769 --> 00:20:17.349
to say earlier was everything is telepathic.

00:20:17.529 --> 00:20:20.329
The Lord knows my thoughts already. He knew what

00:20:20.329 --> 00:20:22.910
I was going to say. It was like, you don't talk.

00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:25.430
Everything's through your mind. And so while

00:20:25.430 --> 00:20:28.470
I'm in that dark place, I remember probably four

00:20:28.470 --> 00:20:33.089
or five demons saying the most evil things about

00:20:33.089 --> 00:20:36.130
you. I mean, just surrounding you, laughing at

00:20:36.130 --> 00:20:38.710
you, saying, we got you now. You're not going

00:20:38.710 --> 00:20:42.809
anywhere, man. I remember them just tying me

00:20:42.809 --> 00:20:46.289
up. and kind of bounding me. But what I do remember

00:20:46.289 --> 00:20:49.089
is my arms were like this. I was holding on to

00:20:49.089 --> 00:20:51.690
two, it felt like two hands and I'll come back

00:20:51.690 --> 00:20:55.470
to where this kind of makes sense. I didn't see

00:20:55.470 --> 00:20:58.150
anything, but felt everything. Some people say

00:20:58.150 --> 00:20:59.829
they saw other people there. I didn't see other

00:20:59.829 --> 00:21:04.390
people there. I was too busy in my own hell to

00:21:04.390 --> 00:21:07.289
even have a comprehension of other people around.

00:21:07.609 --> 00:21:10.150
And then all of a sudden they were ripping me

00:21:10.150 --> 00:21:13.740
apart and I was feeling everything. I remember

00:21:13.740 --> 00:21:17.880
just shaking my head, gnashing my teeth, my jaw,

00:21:18.119 --> 00:21:21.000
just trying, you know, screaming, doing everything

00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:24.819
to possibly, you know, have them stop. But it

00:21:24.819 --> 00:21:27.380
was like a twilight zone. It would happen, I'd

00:21:27.380 --> 00:21:30.799
come back to, immediately they'd rip me apart

00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:33.779
again. And this just kept going on and on and

00:21:33.779 --> 00:21:36.990
on. And then I remembered... I don't know why

00:21:36.990 --> 00:21:39.589
I wasn't calling on the Lord or talking to the

00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:41.950
Lord at this time, but this felt like he turned

00:21:41.950 --> 00:21:44.250
me. It felt like I wasn't going anywhere. There

00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:47.329
was no way out of this. And I was stuck there

00:21:47.329 --> 00:21:49.250
and they were laughing, having a great time.

00:21:49.390 --> 00:21:51.269
You know, I'm calling on the Lord and he's like,

00:21:51.410 --> 00:21:54.470
he can't help you. But they were getting madder

00:21:54.470 --> 00:21:56.710
every time I would call on the Lord or mention

00:21:56.710 --> 00:21:59.990
Jesus' name. They would just get more and more

00:21:59.990 --> 00:22:03.569
upset. I distinctly remember that. And then I

00:22:03.569 --> 00:22:07.059
remember holding on to felt like two hands and

00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:09.920
just kept praying and kept praying and the more

00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:12.119
I prayed the more I would get ripped up but they

00:22:12.119 --> 00:22:14.420
would just get more and more worked up the demons

00:22:14.420 --> 00:22:17.220
at the time and then I remember the last prayer

00:22:17.220 --> 00:22:20.400
I said something to the extent of Jesus is Lord

00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:22.920
my Savior or something to that extent and then

00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:27.640
all of a sudden I hear loud footsteps and I become

00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:31.019
extremely more terrified thinking it was Satan

00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:34.490
himself coming to grabbing me up but it stopped

00:22:34.490 --> 00:22:37.970
and the demons, like four of them stopped, just

00:22:37.970 --> 00:22:42.789
enraged, walking away. And I'm like, oh Lord,

00:22:42.789 --> 00:22:44.829
thank God, you know, thinking like the ordeal

00:22:44.829 --> 00:22:48.769
is over. But one demon stayed back and he whispered

00:22:48.769 --> 00:22:51.069
in my ear, you know, I don't want to cuss, but

00:22:51.069 --> 00:22:53.690
he told me, I mean, this is how evil they are.

00:22:54.269 --> 00:22:58.150
And he said, we almost had you, mother effer.

00:22:58.430 --> 00:23:01.470
I'm just like still thinking that Satan's coming

00:23:01.470 --> 00:23:05.450
to grab me and I immediately said, praise the

00:23:05.450 --> 00:23:08.710
Lord, and then I just get sucked back in my body.

00:23:09.069 --> 00:23:13.329
Mind you, this felt like I've been in two places

00:23:13.329 --> 00:23:16.549
for like days. It felt like I was there for a

00:23:16.549 --> 00:23:20.789
long time. When I woke up, I was entrenched.

00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:23.630
I don't know if it was sweat, water, could not

00:23:23.630 --> 00:23:26.670
move my jaw because the gnashing of teeth. What

00:23:26.670 --> 00:23:29.250
I said was, praise the Lord to my friend. He

00:23:29.250 --> 00:23:31.789
was in the other bed and he immediately sucked

00:23:31.789 --> 00:23:34.960
me back in my body. my parents immediately coming

00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.539
in the room yelling at me. I mean, and this is

00:23:37.539 --> 00:23:39.420
where it comes back probably with the two hands.

00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:42.420
And mind you, I don't talk about this with my

00:23:42.420 --> 00:23:44.500
parents. I don't talk about this with my friend.

00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.220
It's just something that just, I don't know why.

00:23:48.339 --> 00:23:50.980
I just feel like it's just something that it

00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:54.460
was my own personal near death experience that

00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:58.200
my parents suck it up to drugs. But let me tell

00:23:58.200 --> 00:24:00.630
you this. They came in the room yelling at me,

00:24:00.710 --> 00:24:02.710
this and that, and I immediately went in the

00:24:02.710 --> 00:24:04.490
room. And they're like, what, do you want to

00:24:04.490 --> 00:24:07.569
lose another brother? If you go, we go. You know,

00:24:07.650 --> 00:24:09.609
it's basically saying that we can't handle another

00:24:09.609 --> 00:24:12.930
death. I think to this day, I was holding on

00:24:12.930 --> 00:24:16.190
to their hands when my brother said stop at their

00:24:16.190 --> 00:24:19.529
bedroom. I think somehow maybe my body was in

00:24:19.529 --> 00:24:21.670
there. I can't explain it because I was in two

00:24:21.670 --> 00:24:24.509
places at once. So it doesn't make sense. During

00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:27.329
the NDE too, a lot of things happened. I would

00:24:27.329 --> 00:24:31.809
see my parents walking around. It was just all

00:24:31.809 --> 00:24:33.670
this at once that just doesn't make sense. It

00:24:33.670 --> 00:24:37.890
was kind of very miraculous. But it took me months

00:24:37.890 --> 00:24:39.990
to kind of get my head back on. I remember right

00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:42.549
after this, I was going to go to like a rehab

00:24:42.549 --> 00:24:44.670
center. I couldn't even remember my birthday,

00:24:44.950 --> 00:24:49.069
my name. I was completely just went through an

00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:53.450
ordeal that not too many people could understand

00:24:53.450 --> 00:24:56.049
unless they've obviously been through that ordeal.

00:24:56.329 --> 00:24:59.829
But what I want to say is that I remember the

00:24:59.829 --> 00:25:02.730
Lord just saying what He wanted from me was just

00:25:02.730 --> 00:25:07.549
to love people and treat them with respect and

00:25:07.549 --> 00:25:11.329
kindness. He brought me back. It was like He

00:25:11.329 --> 00:25:14.769
set my path. That last year in Long Beach, of

00:25:14.769 --> 00:25:16.569
course, I was still kind of fighting addictions

00:25:16.569 --> 00:25:19.450
at that time with the rehabs and stuff. My path

00:25:19.450 --> 00:25:22.289
was like I had people watching over me every

00:25:22.289 --> 00:25:24.730
step of the way where I could have been dishonorably

00:25:24.730 --> 00:25:27.240
discharged. I mean, my life would have been ruined.

00:25:27.420 --> 00:25:29.740
It was like the Lord was watching me every time

00:25:29.740 --> 00:25:32.819
throughout each phase of my life. And, you know,

00:25:32.920 --> 00:25:35.940
got me through the military with honorable discharge.

00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.759
Then I went back, worked for Edison for a while.

00:25:39.259 --> 00:25:40.640
That, you know, ended up getting laid off after

00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:43.359
six years, but then went back for my BSW and

00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:46.960
social work, watching out after me there, getting

00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:50.099
my degree. having some disabilities, getting

00:25:50.099 --> 00:25:53.480
through seizures, end up in my master's program

00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:56.019
right now at Cal State Long Beach. He's just

00:25:56.019 --> 00:25:58.980
progressed me each and every way, and I am so

00:25:58.980 --> 00:26:01.940
generous and thankful for that. But yes, that

00:26:01.940 --> 00:26:04.940
near -death experience has really opened up my

00:26:04.940 --> 00:26:08.579
eyes, and now I kind of leave it to you. I'm

00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:12.019
sure you have questions. Only 5 ,000, that's

00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:16.220
all. Matt, that was, wow. I think I forgot to

00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:18.440
breathe for about five minutes in there. I know

00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:20.700
it's a lot of talking on my part. I know. No,

00:26:20.700 --> 00:26:24.319
no, no, no. That was just I was tense and I was

00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:27.819
waiting for for everything and just. Yeah. Yeah.

00:26:27.980 --> 00:26:29.700
Just forgot to breathe. By the way, the little

00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:31.619
noises people might hear in the background are

00:26:31.619 --> 00:26:35.000
your dog. Hello, puppy back there. Not a problem

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.160
at all. We love dogs. OK. Yeah. He's sorry. He's

00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:41.279
he's he has a disability, too. He's deaf. So

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:44.500
he I rescued him. So yeah. Sorry about the noise.

00:26:44.650 --> 00:26:46.710
Well, I would do sign language, hello, but he's

00:26:46.710 --> 00:26:49.089
not looking at me. I want to get a few things

00:26:49.089 --> 00:26:52.829
out of the way. The first one is I want you to

00:26:52.829 --> 00:26:56.329
know that I believe you what happened to you.

00:26:56.690 --> 00:26:59.190
There are going to be some naysayers out there

00:26:59.190 --> 00:27:02.750
that say, oh, he was just on a drug trip and

00:27:02.750 --> 00:27:05.529
this wasn't a real thing. What do you have to

00:27:05.529 --> 00:27:08.329
say to them? OK, and this is where it comes into

00:27:08.329 --> 00:27:12.250
play. You could shrug off one near -death experience.

00:27:12.460 --> 00:27:14.720
You can maybe shrug off two. You can't shrug

00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:17.700
off four. And the one I had before that was at

00:27:17.700 --> 00:27:19.460
a party. And, you know, I can go into details

00:27:19.460 --> 00:27:22.140
about that, but this was the biggest one. And

00:27:22.140 --> 00:27:25.619
it was like, no, this is all real. There's no

00:27:25.619 --> 00:27:27.359
way. Yes, there are people that would be like,

00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:30.079
well, and I've gotten that. And that's why I

00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:32.480
don't really tell this story, because there are

00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:34.759
those people that are out there that say, well,

00:27:34.900 --> 00:27:38.140
the drugs did this. I have what I forgot to mention

00:27:38.140 --> 00:27:40.339
after that, that near -death experience that

00:27:40.339 --> 00:27:43.000
day. I kept seeing orbs throughout the whole

00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:45.539
day. They would just come and go, and I'd just

00:27:45.539 --> 00:27:48.140
be in tears. It'd bring me right back to that

00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:51.680
experience. And that still happens to this day,

00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.259
where I would catch orbs. Either I'd be watching

00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:57.220
something, a near -death experience on TV, and

00:27:57.220 --> 00:27:59.799
I'd just see this real quick orb go quick, just

00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:04.460
very fast, and I'd be like, whoa. What do you

00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:08.359
think that means? You know, I don't know. I can

00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:10.759
only hope good things that the Lord's still watching

00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.400
out, which I do believe always. Maybe God is

00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.259
still trying to speak to me because I'm still

00:28:16.259 --> 00:28:19.539
learning. I still have a long way to go. I know

00:28:19.539 --> 00:28:21.980
after a lot of people's near -death experiences

00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:26.319
that they completely changed their lives. For

00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.240
me, it's been a slow progression. Yes, I've changed

00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:31.599
a lot of things. Addiction, yes, has been out

00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:34.700
of my life. That has changed. But, you know,

00:28:34.779 --> 00:28:36.960
the struggles are still very real. I still have

00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:39.839
a very hard time going to church because of my

00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:41.819
upbringing. I haven't gone back to church because

00:28:41.819 --> 00:28:44.119
of that. I try to get in the Word each night,

00:28:44.140 --> 00:28:46.920
but it's like I pray each night, and don't get

00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:49.460
me wrong. But still, there are struggles that

00:28:49.460 --> 00:28:52.500
I have that are mine, and I know each person

00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:56.079
has their own. I always find myself progressing

00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.059
when I'm either in the Word of God or praying

00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.700
and helping others. Again, yes, I do struggle.

00:29:02.890 --> 00:29:05.750
and for those people that say, well, it was drug

00:29:05.750 --> 00:29:08.910
induced. They are entitled to that belief, but

00:29:08.910 --> 00:29:12.450
one day we will die. And one day I want them

00:29:12.450 --> 00:29:16.470
to know that there is this place that is indescribable,

00:29:16.650 --> 00:29:18.710
that you don't want to be left behind. I don't

00:29:18.710 --> 00:29:20.589
want to be left behind. Every day I pray that

00:29:20.589 --> 00:29:23.430
I'm not left behind. And it still worries me

00:29:23.430 --> 00:29:26.430
to this day because knowing what that other place

00:29:26.430 --> 00:29:31.309
is was consistent torment. It did not stop. it

00:29:31.309 --> 00:29:34.589
just kept going and there was no time. So a couple

00:29:34.589 --> 00:29:38.029
of things back to the drug thing. I've had a

00:29:38.029 --> 00:29:41.809
few people explain it to me as something I experienced

00:29:41.809 --> 00:29:45.009
while I was on drugs or just a dream in the middle

00:29:45.009 --> 00:29:48.630
of the night. I may remember for a little while

00:29:48.630 --> 00:29:51.890
or a day or two but a near -death experience

00:29:51.890 --> 00:29:55.190
is very clear for very many years to come. Would

00:29:55.190 --> 00:29:57.950
you say you're in that that boat right there?

00:29:58.579 --> 00:30:02.119
Oh, absolutely. And mind you, I remember so much

00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:04.480
more when I came out of the near -death experience.

00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:06.660
I wish I, you know, remember that. And I wrote

00:30:06.660 --> 00:30:09.480
a journal. Unfortunately, I don't know why I

00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:11.480
got rid of it. I wish I had it because there

00:30:11.480 --> 00:30:14.059
were definitely key points I put in there. But

00:30:14.059 --> 00:30:15.880
yeah, what was the question? Sorry. Well, we

00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:18.339
were talking about whether people can believe

00:30:18.339 --> 00:30:21.710
this is a real NDE or it was just drugs. I think

00:30:21.710 --> 00:30:24.630
we covered it well. The last question that I

00:30:24.630 --> 00:30:27.650
think fills in that gap to prove that this was

00:30:27.650 --> 00:30:31.390
real is, Matt, how much fear of death do you

00:30:31.390 --> 00:30:34.930
have now? I don't fear it. Let me say this too,

00:30:35.109 --> 00:30:38.390
because growing up, I have a very anxious person,

00:30:38.569 --> 00:30:40.369
you know, had anxiety, been through a lot of

00:30:40.369 --> 00:30:43.109
trauma. Yeah, I was very skeptical of death.

00:30:43.369 --> 00:30:46.410
You know, is this Jesus that I've been told for

00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:49.289
18 years of my life at the time? Is he real?

00:30:49.750 --> 00:30:53.759
And I remember at church as a young kid, this

00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.220
one song that they sung and I really felt the

00:30:57.220 --> 00:31:00.160
Holy Spirit come into me and I was like, whoa!

00:31:00.579 --> 00:31:02.599
That was when I was going through very struggling

00:31:02.599 --> 00:31:05.160
times. That's kind of when I was like, wow, the

00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:08.240
Lord is real, I think. I mean, I believe that

00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:11.440
it's real. Moving forward, we all have our fears

00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:14.299
of death and sharks and stuff like that. Well,

00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:17.400
for me, the ocean, but now I don't because it's

00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:20.789
like, I know that it's in the Lord's hands and

00:31:20.789 --> 00:31:24.569
it's His timing. When it's my time, and like

00:31:24.569 --> 00:31:26.710
you told me when I was with the Lord, you told

00:31:26.710 --> 00:31:29.410
me it's not your time. I believe when my time

00:31:29.410 --> 00:31:33.369
is up, it's the right time. All right, this may

00:31:33.369 --> 00:31:36.190
be a hard one, but I want you to try to explain

00:31:36.190 --> 00:31:39.789
something. And this comes from the most unusual

00:31:39.789 --> 00:31:43.130
part of your experience compared to so many others

00:31:43.130 --> 00:31:46.650
that I've heard. And that is that you had this

00:31:46.650 --> 00:31:50.569
beautiful, blissful, loving experience first,

00:31:51.190 --> 00:31:55.269
then had a hellish experience. Usually it's the

00:31:55.269 --> 00:31:58.170
other way around. Yes, and I've seen a lot of

00:31:58.170 --> 00:32:01.450
NDEs like that. But as you put it, and tell me

00:32:01.450 --> 00:32:04.970
if I have this wording right, right before this

00:32:04.970 --> 00:32:08.390
happened, Jesus said to you, you need to have

00:32:08.390 --> 00:32:12.490
faith, right? Yes. Okay, do you think that was

00:32:12.490 --> 00:32:16.190
a long -term, Matt needs to have faith, or it

00:32:16.190 --> 00:32:20.000
was meant for the experience you were about to

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.319
have in this hellish place. Yes, I think I think

00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:26.700
so in that hellish place and then long term,

00:32:26.859 --> 00:32:29.200
but the hellish place, because he brought me

00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:31.740
completely down after that. And I think he needed

00:32:31.740 --> 00:32:35.519
to show me that it is very real. Like I said,

00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:38.640
I've watched probably hundreds of Indies kind

00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.019
of just putting these pieces together of what

00:32:41.019 --> 00:32:43.240
people have seen, what people have gone through.

00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:46.619
And yeah, they always have either this hell experience

00:32:46.619 --> 00:32:49.970
first, And then the heaven or just the heaven

00:32:49.970 --> 00:32:52.549
experience or just the hell experience. But yeah,

00:32:52.589 --> 00:32:56.769
it was so kind of mind -boggling that I haven't

00:32:56.769 --> 00:33:00.109
found one that has first I went to this joyful,

00:33:00.549 --> 00:33:04.390
you know, just amazing place and then went down

00:33:04.390 --> 00:33:07.430
to the darkness. So I really do believe that

00:33:07.430 --> 00:33:09.710
the Lord said to have faith because I probably

00:33:09.710 --> 00:33:12.289
about what I was going to go through. them there

00:33:12.289 --> 00:33:14.450
and with life. But what I wanted to say previously

00:33:14.450 --> 00:33:16.970
about your other question about the NDE and white

00:33:16.970 --> 00:33:19.369
people, I just remember this because this happens

00:33:19.369 --> 00:33:23.150
to me a lot. I still have dreams, too, of demonic

00:33:23.150 --> 00:33:26.630
beings and some, you know, when I'm kind of slipping

00:33:26.630 --> 00:33:29.450
a little bit, they'll be in my room and it will

00:33:29.450 --> 00:33:31.569
be like a dream, like I can't breathe. One of

00:33:31.569 --> 00:33:33.690
them was on my chest pushing me down or I couldn't

00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:37.269
call on the Lord. So it's very, very real. All

00:33:37.269 --> 00:33:40.809
I can do is just pray and tried to tell people

00:33:40.809 --> 00:33:43.349
this experience and let them take it for what

00:33:43.349 --> 00:33:47.549
it's worth. So most people in a hellish place,

00:33:47.589 --> 00:33:50.890
they call upon Jesus and they're immediately

00:33:50.890 --> 00:33:54.789
taken out of there. For you, you were also taken

00:33:54.789 --> 00:33:57.289
out of there, but instead of going to a heavenly

00:33:57.289 --> 00:34:01.329
place, you were back in your body. Yes. Correct?

00:34:01.609 --> 00:34:05.180
Okay. Yes, correct. Can you explain that? Yeah,

00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:08.320
that's something I think, you know, I could speculate

00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:12.360
what the Lord was wanting to do. I wish I was

00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:15.659
going to go back with the Lord. I just, you know,

00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:20.019
after coming back into my body and being so disoriented,

00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:22.780
you know, not knowing why the Lord just put me

00:34:22.780 --> 00:34:25.699
right back in my body, you know, obviously it's

00:34:25.699 --> 00:34:28.239
a bit upsetting, you know, because I didn't want

00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:30.480
to be here. I didn't understand my purpose in

00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:32.800
life. I didn't understand where I'm going, why.

00:34:33.150 --> 00:34:35.949
what and where, you know, the Lord has for me.

00:34:36.230 --> 00:34:39.550
Every time something loving happens in my life,

00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:42.210
it's like I feel like, wow, the Lord showed me

00:34:42.210 --> 00:34:45.630
that there. But it's like a deja vu thing where

00:34:45.630 --> 00:34:47.510
I can't explain it. It's kind of like the Lord

00:34:47.510 --> 00:34:50.530
showed me a future there. I can't remember it

00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:53.929
until after it happens. It's like, I'm so stupid.

00:34:53.969 --> 00:34:58.389
He told me that. For example, I would be interning

00:34:58.389 --> 00:35:01.210
with adults with disabilities, you know, with

00:35:01.210 --> 00:35:03.969
cerebral palsy. you know, different like schizophrenia,

00:35:04.389 --> 00:35:07.670
autism, like helping those people out, you know,

00:35:07.889 --> 00:35:10.309
loving those people. You know, that, that was

00:35:10.309 --> 00:35:13.150
the Lord showing me, I'm bringing you back for

00:35:13.150 --> 00:35:16.329
this. Like, this is what I want you to do with

00:35:16.329 --> 00:35:19.489
what I've given you is to help these people.

00:35:19.650 --> 00:35:22.409
And, you know, I believe, you know, that's the

00:35:22.409 --> 00:35:25.110
reason why I got put back in my body is to keep

00:35:25.110 --> 00:35:27.889
moving forward. I believe that the social work

00:35:27.889 --> 00:35:31.000
program was for a reason. And I got accepted

00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.239
twice for that reason, to keep helping and to

00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:37.739
move on, to keep moving forward and helping everyone

00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:41.739
that I could possibly do. And that'll be so good

00:35:41.739 --> 00:35:43.960
for you at the same time as you're helping others.

00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:47.000
Right. And I'm not saying like I'm better than

00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:49.539
anyone else. That's not what I'm saying at all.

00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:51.980
I'm just saying like, I feel like this is my

00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:54.719
path and I'm going on. The things that people

00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:58.039
see, I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it.

00:35:58.010 --> 00:36:01.389
because not only do I want to help others, but

00:36:01.389 --> 00:36:06.409
I want the Lord to be proud of me. Sorry, I kind

00:36:06.409 --> 00:36:08.190
of break up. I get a little emotional on that.

00:36:08.329 --> 00:36:12.590
I'm not looking for praise from people. I want

00:36:12.590 --> 00:36:15.130
the Lord to be like, that's why I brought you

00:36:15.130 --> 00:36:19.909
back, to love people and to help people and to

00:36:19.909 --> 00:36:22.630
continue to grow. I know it's really hard to

00:36:22.630 --> 00:36:25.329
get off drugs. On a personal note, how's your

00:36:25.329 --> 00:36:28.760
recovery going after all these years? It's a

00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:31.900
struggle. You know, fortunately, I've been sober,

00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:34.800
yes. And I'm going to be straight honest with

00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:37.039
everyone that I take a little Suboxone because

00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:40.539
it allows me to function. It allows me to work.

00:36:40.599 --> 00:36:43.280
It allows me to go to school. Some people obviously

00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.679
will say, well, you're still using this now,

00:36:44.699 --> 00:36:47.539
but no, I'm using about a crumb if I need it

00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:50.539
to move on with my life. And I pray that the

00:36:50.539 --> 00:36:52.900
Lord will eventually take that out of my life

00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:57.170
and I'll be able to fully be sober up to you

00:36:57.170 --> 00:37:00.750
know the VA and everything this is recovery to

00:37:00.750 --> 00:37:02.809
them you know going to counseling taking your

00:37:02.809 --> 00:37:05.389
medications this and that but I do believe in

00:37:05.389 --> 00:37:07.170
time the Lord will take away those medications

00:37:07.170 --> 00:37:10.630
and you know my brain will be back to where it's

00:37:10.630 --> 00:37:13.090
supposed to be yeah you won't completely need

00:37:13.090 --> 00:37:16.250
them the last thing that I wanted you to if you

00:37:16.250 --> 00:37:19.809
can to explain more to us is something that earlier

00:37:19.809 --> 00:37:23.090
you said you couldn't explain that love you felt

00:37:23.090 --> 00:37:28.090
that bliss that wonderful that you said was like

00:37:28.090 --> 00:37:31.469
this one drug times a billion. Is there any other

00:37:31.469 --> 00:37:34.010
way that you can explain it? I could explain

00:37:34.010 --> 00:37:38.829
it like being wrapped around in Jesus's arms

00:37:38.829 --> 00:37:44.449
and just your whole body is gone. Your body's

00:37:44.449 --> 00:37:47.409
not there. It's your soul. And it's like your

00:37:47.409 --> 00:37:51.659
soul is just wrapped around in this warm. blanket

00:37:51.659 --> 00:37:55.599
of love. Imagine just floating in that love and

00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:59.199
just being there in that love and enjoying that

00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:02.719
time. You're not only seeing but feeling that,

00:38:02.719 --> 00:38:06.599
wow, everything I was kind of taught is true,

00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:10.599
but Jesus, like I said, Jesus is so different

00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:14.300
than what people think. A lot of different, you

00:38:14.300 --> 00:38:18.559
know, religions think that Jesus is this judgemental

00:38:18.809 --> 00:38:21.809
type person but it was just all I got from him

00:38:21.809 --> 00:38:24.210
was straight love and mercy and the only thing

00:38:24.210 --> 00:38:27.769
he was just sad for was that I attempted to do

00:38:27.769 --> 00:38:30.989
this to myself. It was like he gave us life but

00:38:30.989 --> 00:38:34.969
I was taking that life that he gave me away and

00:38:34.969 --> 00:38:37.989
you know, that just that made him very sad and

00:38:37.989 --> 00:38:40.989
I think that was another reason why he wanted

00:38:40.989 --> 00:38:45.369
me to see, you know, that there is a very dark

00:38:45.369 --> 00:38:50.139
realm that people go to that, you know, I don't

00:38:50.139 --> 00:38:52.719
have questions. There's so many questions that

00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:56.559
I wanted to ask. Why are people down in that

00:38:56.559 --> 00:39:01.320
other realm? But he just left it with my experience.

00:39:01.820 --> 00:39:05.219
And, you know, I know a lot of other NDE's, they

00:39:05.219 --> 00:39:07.300
were shown why people were down there, maybe

00:39:07.300 --> 00:39:10.670
because they rejected Jesus, but... I believe

00:39:10.670 --> 00:39:14.150
that Jesus gives us so many chances and He'll

00:39:14.150 --> 00:39:17.369
even give us another chance on our deathbed because

00:39:17.369 --> 00:39:19.929
I will say this, and this is something that I

00:39:19.929 --> 00:39:22.670
haven't said, was that my brother said, see things

00:39:22.670 --> 00:39:24.510
come back to me here and there, my brother said

00:39:24.510 --> 00:39:27.510
to me, you don't have to worry about me. You've

00:39:27.510 --> 00:39:29.690
been looking with all these drugs, all these

00:39:29.690 --> 00:39:33.489
different things. I'm okay. I'm with the Lord.

00:39:33.909 --> 00:39:36.329
And at the end of my brother's life, he was praying,

00:39:36.670 --> 00:39:40.670
trying to move forward. in a good, good way.

00:39:41.610 --> 00:39:43.690
Unfortunately, he had a lot of friends, good

00:39:43.690 --> 00:39:46.489
friends, great friends. Accidental overdose and

00:39:46.489 --> 00:39:49.269
it just, it took a toll on all of us and it will

00:39:49.269 --> 00:39:54.670
be his 20 years in July 5th. So, I just can't

00:39:54.670 --> 00:39:56.949
believe it's been that long. Time just went by

00:39:56.949 --> 00:39:59.769
so quickly. But like I said, he just told me

00:39:59.769 --> 00:40:02.349
like, you don't need to search for me anymore

00:40:02.349 --> 00:40:07.289
because I am okay. I'm with the Lord. Yeah, that

00:40:07.289 --> 00:40:10.210
brought me some some good peace. Like I said,

00:40:10.329 --> 00:40:12.409
I still struggle because the enemy is always

00:40:12.409 --> 00:40:13.989
going to put thoughts in your head of, well,

00:40:14.010 --> 00:40:16.429
you did this, you did that, you did this, instead

00:40:16.429 --> 00:40:19.289
of looking at the, you know, the good things.

00:40:19.969 --> 00:40:22.849
There's always two battles going on in your body,

00:40:23.230 --> 00:40:26.090
especially I'm still struggling spiritually.

00:40:26.449 --> 00:40:30.110
So once I get to that spot where I am 100 % for

00:40:30.110 --> 00:40:32.690
the Lord, I think that struggle will stop. I'm

00:40:32.690 --> 00:40:34.750
not saying I'm not 100 % for the Lord, but I'm

00:40:34.750 --> 00:40:37.289
just It's hard when there are all these different

00:40:37.289 --> 00:40:39.550
things in this world that you're going through

00:40:39.550 --> 00:40:42.989
things. I'm a normal person. I go through things,

00:40:43.429 --> 00:40:47.010
ups and downs. I have mental health issues in

00:40:47.010 --> 00:40:50.449
the military and trauma. So there are things

00:40:50.449 --> 00:40:52.909
that I go through just like a normal person.

00:40:53.389 --> 00:40:56.690
Thank you for all that. If there's just one thing

00:40:56.690 --> 00:40:59.050
that everybody remembers from this, I know I

00:40:59.050 --> 00:41:01.809
just wrote it down in my notes, and that was,

00:41:02.110 --> 00:41:04.590
you said it felt like being wrapped in a warm

00:41:04.590 --> 00:41:08.409
blanket of love. That is beautiful. Thank you,

00:41:08.449 --> 00:41:10.989
Matt, for being with me today. No, I appreciate

00:41:10.989 --> 00:41:13.769
you having me on and telling you this story.

00:41:13.969 --> 00:41:16.949
Like I said, I've had another near death big

00:41:16.949 --> 00:41:20.309
one before this one, and that one, I wasn't dead,

00:41:20.329 --> 00:41:23.349
but it was still going through two spiritual

00:41:23.349 --> 00:41:27.530
realms. The naysayers could always doubt, but

00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:33.409
it's 100 % real. Thanks again for listening and

00:41:33.409 --> 00:41:35.809
sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the

00:41:35.809 --> 00:41:38.590
follow or subscribe button and sign up for our

00:41:38.590 --> 00:41:41.429
newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want

00:41:41.429 --> 00:41:44.010
to share your near -death experience or if you

00:41:44.010 --> 00:41:46.349
have questions or comments about the show, send

00:41:46.349 --> 00:41:49.909
an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until

00:41:49.909 --> 00:41:51.869
then, I wish you everything good that you're

00:41:51.869 --> 00:41:54.230
looking for in this life. and the next.