Brief NDE at 12 Completely Changes Life Trajectory

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From the time that they pronounced me that was

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a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I

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could see people screaming and crying But I didn't

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realize that was actually my physical body because

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I was somewhere else The only thing that I could

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feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace

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there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

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greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back

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home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.

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Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody

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and a very special warm welcome today to our

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guest Kohila Sivas. I hope I pronounced that

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right. Beautiful, perfect. Thank you. Kohila,

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how are you doing today? I am always blessed

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and I always live a blissful life. Well, and

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we feel blessed to have you on. We've been trying

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to coordinate this for a while, and I'm really

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glad that it finally came together. There was

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some kind of hand in that, I believe. Before

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we jump in and talk about your near -death experience

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and the many things that you've learned from

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it, and how it's guided your life, would you

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just give our listeners a little insight? Who's

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Kohila? Kohila is someone who didn't stop. Creating

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a path that works. I never settle. I've never

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settled There were so many moments in my life.

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I could have settled and said, you know what?

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This is what life is Just give up just take it

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for what it is. But no There's always another

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path you can create and I've always created that

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and it's been hard, but I don't give up She would

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never give up. Kohila does not give up. You know,

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it's funny that term settle because It can have

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kind of negative connotations like oh he's settling

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for that But also the old term of, you know,

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settle down and do this and have this kind of

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life has sort of a positive tone to it. How is

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it for you? Yeah, I've settled in some areas.

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I've settled with the husband. I settled to have

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kids. I settled in many areas, but there are

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things that you cannot settle. For example, I

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was a teacher. I saw the system. I walked in

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and I quickly walked out because I wasn't going

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to settle. Right. There are things you can't

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settle. Yeah. So when you say that, you mean

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sort of settling for something lower than should

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be where you're at or, or what you're worthy

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of. That makes sense. How many children do you

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have? I have one, one of my own and four, four

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step kids. That's awesome. All right. Well, Without

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further ado, I want to jump into it because I

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have not heard your story yet. So I'm as excited

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as anybody, but I know it was kind of a rough

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one, too. So would you take us back to a younger

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point in life and kind of lead up to, you know,

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what was going on in your life that led to this?

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Yeah, I was born in Sri Lanka. It's a small town,

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small island underneath India. It's a separate

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country. We had a war. The year I was born, my

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dad lost everything. So we had a war that was

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threatening everything in our life. So I grew

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up very scared, always looking out for danger.

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So eventually my dad left us, and then I was

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growing up with my grandfather. So from my grandfather,

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I learned that not always people will understand

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you. You always have to be very graceful. and

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give them space to learn about you. So I've got

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that from him. He was always a person who did

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that for me. And I learned that from him. And

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then finally, one day my dad was able to bring

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us to Canada. So I said goodbye to my grandparents,

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but I was so young. I was six. I didn't even

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hug them properly when I left. I just like, I'm

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just going on a plane. I'll be back. So, but

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that was my last time I was going to see them.

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So I've never seen them after that. They died

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in the war. So I came to Canada and it was...

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It was a big difference from Sri Lanka. It's

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not an easy move. You know, when I was not too

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much older than that, I moved from a tropical

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climate place to Utah with snow and all that

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kind of stuff. Was that part of the adjustment?

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Yeah, the cold was one. Culture, weather, everything?

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Yes, I was just different. I was so different

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from everybody else. So that's where I use what

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my grandfather always taught me, right? Like

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if people don't know you, give them space to

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learn about you, right? So I said one day they

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will, you know, people will know about me and

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Kohila and her background, but right now they

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don't. I'm the one who's visiting a new place,

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so let's just learn to live in a new place. Unfortunately,

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I didn't know the language. So there was a language

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barrier. So at home, my parents also didn't speak

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much English, but my dad losing everything. He

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was very well off in Sri Lanka. He lost everything.

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So he also became alcoholic. So our household

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was not always a pleasant place to be. So I didn't

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have anywhere to be safe as a young person. That

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is way rough. I can't imagine that. So what did

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that lead to? That led to me becoming very smart.

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Talking to my brain and my brain and I became

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so friendly that it would tell me things to do

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and I listened to it very closely Because that's

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the only partner I had because I can't talk to

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my parents. I can't talk at school So first thing

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you told me that you should mute yourself Because

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if you mute yourself, nobody will know you don't

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know English. I Said yeah, that sounds like a

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great plan. You're absolutely right. So that's

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exactly what I did at school as I muted myself

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I don't talk to anybody. I was the shy girl who

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doesn't you know, the quiet one who doesn't,

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we don't need to bother her. She's fine. But

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she wasn't fine. How often at this point in your

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life do you look back and go, wow, I've come

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so far? Every single day. Yeah. That's why I

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said I live a blissful life. To be blissful,

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you have to look that and say, wow, you made

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it. All right. Well, keep going on this journey.

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It's interesting. Muting myself gave me protection,

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for sure, at school. Nobody bothered me. Everybody

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left me alone. At home, it was very rough, and

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my dad was very strict, and he wanted best for

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all of us. But he just didn't know how to parent.

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He just did it the way he knew. So it was always

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rough and scary. So I started not enjoying being

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at home. And my mom was always very scared of

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my dad and very... respectful to him, even though

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he didn't know how to parent us. So there was

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a lot of gap between our relationship, right?

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So it was just me growing up in a very empty,

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empty inside, empty outside. Everything was empty.

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There's nothing to be filled. So that's when

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I, about 12 years, when I became 12, then my

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brain and I were planning so many things. And

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one of the things I planned with my brain's help

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was to end my life because it was too hard. There's

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no answers in my life. There was nothing living

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for I didn't see into anything and then my household

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was getting more and more Hostile for me to live

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in so I decided that of course with the help

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of my brain Giving me all the facts why I should

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not live further. I decided to end my life at

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the age of 12 Probably a good point to throw

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out the crisis hotline if anybody is feeling

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this Nearly every country around the world just

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pick up your phone dial 9 -8 -8. There's somebody

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there you can talk to Absolutely. So I keep saying

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I was talking to my brain, right? That brain

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we have is a very powerful machine It can bring

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us so many so many information and present to

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us as such a fact is so fact They look at it.

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You should end you like because of this reason

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this reason so the next day I'm in the hospital

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I wake up Obviously, I ended my life. I survived.

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I wake up and my brain's talking to me again,

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but not in the same way it talked to me the day

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before. It's telling me, why did you do this?

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Well, how can you do this? Look at your parents.

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Look at this. I mean, look at your life. You

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could have done this and that. I'm like, excuse

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me, who are you? Yesterday, you were validating

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why I shouldn't be here. today you're telling

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me all these reasons why I what I did is wrong

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like who is this person like it betrayed me my

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brain betrayed me that's the worst it can ever

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happen to somebody right I mean only friend I

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had was my brain it's telling me right opposite

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to everything you told me the day before that

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was the first time I felt the power of how the

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brain can manipulate and manipulate us and make

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it believe that it controls us. I mean, at that

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12 years old, I didn't really have all the puzzles.

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Now, how I use my methodology to coach others

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and help others, I know our brain doesn't own

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us. We own it. As long as we own it, we can get

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it to do whatever we want. And that's what I

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did afterwards. I'm like, oh, hold on a second.

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You actually can talk whichever way you want

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to talk. You're really not that powerful. I am

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powerful. I can manipulate you just like you

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manipulated me right now. I like it. So I started

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playing games with my brain. I'm like, okay,

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you tell me that I'm going to ask you more questions.

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Tell me more, right? Tell me more. All right,

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we're going to circle back to this whole brain

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thing. First, I want to hear more about the near

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-death experience itself. Did you have some kind

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of a spiritual awakening or out -of -body experience

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or anything like that? At the time when I did

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meet somebody in my hotel hospital, somebody

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came and talked to me. I didn't see that person

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afterwards. Like, I don't know who it was. The

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person came to me, felt Almost looked like a

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doctor, but I was searching for that doctor later

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on I couldn't see that same doctor ever again

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Right. I don't say this to people because people

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might think I'm crazy But what I what they told

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me was you need to rest and you have a purpose

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You need to rest and you have a purpose and I

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was looking Afterwards for this doctor that told

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me this and they were dressed in the doctor outfit,

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but the doctor came after would never looked

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like that person What do you make of that? Was

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that a real person? Was that a vision of something?

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What was that? That was because I believe in

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God. That's the visit from God telling me you

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do have a purpose. And I think I execute that

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purpose to this day. I do believe the purpose

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was given to me on that day. And even though

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I didn't know exactly what it was, because until

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32, I really was struggling. continue to struggle

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because, you know, maybe working through my brain,

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I was doing things. As I said, I always create

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a path and move forward. I was doing it, but

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until I was 32, I didn't get my rebirth. I had

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a rebirth at 32 where I knew this is my purpose

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and nothing will stop me kind of. Right. But

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I know that day was given to me, but I didn't

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own it until I was 32. Okay. When we refer to

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near -death experiences, a lot of people that

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I've talked to have had one of those, you know,

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clinically dead, gone to the light kind of thing,

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saw heaven kind of thing. Did you have anything

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like that happen at all or was it just this experience

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with the doctor? But the doctor, when he came

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in, it was very different. The world was different,

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like the environment was different, right? Like

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I was out of it, so I can't really tell what

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was happening, but all I know is that that person

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who said all those words was never to be found.

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That's why I know, because I was searching for

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that person. I wanted them to tell me more stuff

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because what they said resonated so much to me

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at that time. I was looking with them and they

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never came back. And that's why I know it was

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different. That was the, that's how I felt. I

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didn't feel any lights. I just feel like where

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did that person go? That was my question And

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when you use the term environment, what do you

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mean by that? Did the room seem different or

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yeah? It shifted explain So the room may come

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very cloudy. It was very cloudy And uh, I couldn't

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see beyond the person that was talking to the

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doctor. I couldn't see anything beyond him It

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was just me and him and that's it In this in

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this it's almost like a smoke but not over him

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or anything, just behind him and everything.

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I couldn't see anything further than him. It

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was just the one image of that person and me,

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and that person's telling me. Was anything else

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said? Did you ask him anything? At that time,

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at 12, I never spoke to people. I was very quiet.

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I muted for myself most of the time, so I was

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just receiving it. I'm like, okay. All right,

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I promised we would circle back you were talking

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about the conversation with your brain Let's

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get back into that. Where did that go? Where

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did it take you? Oh, it took me so far ahead

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in life, right? So first time I started speaking

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back to my brain I never listened anything after

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that betrayal from my brain. I never listened

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to it anytime. It says something I'm like, okay,

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tell me more. Tell me the facts What else you

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got to say to me and I always override it. I'm

00:13:35.009 --> 00:13:36.669
like, no, I don't think I'm gonna do that I'm

00:13:36.669 --> 00:13:38.860
gonna do it this way And then it'll jump and

00:13:38.860 --> 00:13:40.519
say, oh, so many things. I'm like, yeah, shut

00:13:40.519 --> 00:13:42.899
up. I don't care. But you've got to say, I'm

00:13:42.899 --> 00:13:45.500
doing it this way. So I always started overriding

00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:47.659
it, because I was almost mad, because that was

00:13:47.659 --> 00:13:50.539
the only friendship I had. So I'm not going to

00:13:50.539 --> 00:13:52.580
do what you say. The first time I started really

00:13:52.580 --> 00:13:55.480
implementing my brain and my power and all of

00:13:55.480 --> 00:13:58.500
that was in math. I went really into math and

00:13:58.500 --> 00:14:01.419
used math as a therapy during my coming back

00:14:01.419 --> 00:14:04.049
into life. That's what I used as a therapy to

00:14:04.049 --> 00:14:06.330
really build my confidence because in life I

00:14:06.330 --> 00:14:09.149
couldn't solve any problems. But in math, I would

00:14:09.149 --> 00:14:12.009
always get answers if I spend time and if I solve

00:14:12.009 --> 00:14:14.950
something, I can solve it. So that's how I became

00:14:14.950 --> 00:14:19.149
really excited about, OK, I can actually get

00:14:19.149 --> 00:14:23.590
something done in life. I can accomplish something.

00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:27.389
So talking to my brain and with the help of math

00:14:27.389 --> 00:14:30.490
as a therapy. I became really good at that. And

00:14:30.490 --> 00:14:32.190
that's what I wanted to share with others. You

00:14:32.190 --> 00:14:34.250
know, when I left school, I'm like, let's become

00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:37.809
a teacher and share this with others. And that's

00:14:37.809 --> 00:14:39.590
why I went into teaching because I wanted to

00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:42.789
help students like me who were quiet, who go

00:14:42.789 --> 00:14:45.409
unnoticed in the classrooms, right? I can really

00:14:45.409 --> 00:14:47.429
connect with them because I have that happen

00:14:47.429 --> 00:14:49.970
to me. So I'm like, okay, I can do, and I can

00:14:49.970 --> 00:14:52.789
also share the math, which becomes the therapy.

00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:56.110
So it kind of have to edge to it. So I was excited,

00:14:56.129 --> 00:14:58.490
but in the school system, I couldn't really get

00:14:58.490 --> 00:15:01.990
to the people I wanted to get to. So where did

00:15:01.990 --> 00:15:04.669
this lead you in life? Yeah, after that I started

00:15:04.669 --> 00:15:06.850
my own business. As I said, I created my path.

00:15:06.950 --> 00:15:08.950
They said, you know what, the school's not working.

00:15:09.110 --> 00:15:11.809
Let's start a tutoring business. There I also

00:15:11.809 --> 00:15:14.470
got stuff with people coming to buy marks, like

00:15:14.470 --> 00:15:16.850
they wanted me to work for their marks. that

00:15:16.850 --> 00:15:19.669
didn't sit with me well. I wanted to create really

00:15:19.669 --> 00:15:22.190
motivated, intrinsic, hungry people to learn,

00:15:22.250 --> 00:15:24.470
right? I wanted them to be curious about math

00:15:24.470 --> 00:15:27.269
like I was and how it helped me not just come

00:15:27.269 --> 00:15:30.490
to me for marks, get my marks up. Quick break

00:15:30.490 --> 00:15:33.210
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,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms

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for details. So that's how I started changing

00:16:47.779 --> 00:16:49.259
it. You know what? You don't need math help.

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:53.179
You actually need how to learn and how the biological

00:16:53.179 --> 00:16:55.440
system work and how to unblock yourself. And

00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:57.820
that's how I created my methodology and started

00:16:57.820 --> 00:17:01.399
coaching kids. So when I coach them, They don't

00:17:01.399 --> 00:17:04.140
need math help people came to me for math help.

00:17:04.140 --> 00:17:07.099
They don't need math help They needed help on

00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:10.279
blocking themselves first like I was when I was

00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:12.180
young, right? I was blocked. Everybody said learn

00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:14.279
English learn math I couldn't learn anything

00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:17.720
until I was In flow because the state has to

00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:19.980
be in flow in order for you to learn anything,

00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:26.119
right? That sounds easy I'm being sarcastic and

00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:28.839
we're off in this direction. I'm happy to follow

00:17:28.839 --> 00:17:31.589
it How do people do that? How do people get that

00:17:31.589 --> 00:17:34.130
flow? You can't chase it. It's not something

00:17:34.130 --> 00:17:37.190
you chase. You really need to come home to yourself

00:17:37.190 --> 00:17:41.130
first. Come home in here first. Your soul, right?

00:17:41.190 --> 00:17:43.309
I call it soul print biology. We have systems

00:17:43.309 --> 00:17:45.890
working for us and working against us. We need

00:17:45.890 --> 00:17:48.069
to know what those systems are. You have to become

00:17:48.069 --> 00:17:50.769
in tune with your body. And most of us are not

00:17:50.769 --> 00:17:53.650
in tune. We're not home. We're all out here.

00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.680
right? Majority of us these days, we're all out

00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:58.779
there. We're always looking for external things

00:17:58.779 --> 00:18:03.059
to help us, but those don't land if you're not

00:18:03.059 --> 00:18:06.980
home yet. So how do we do it? That's understanding

00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:10.400
yourself. Talking to your brain is one way, because

00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:12.539
if your brain is telling everything is out there,

00:18:12.539 --> 00:18:14.759
you're not going to look inward. It's looking

00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:17.779
inward, talking to your brain, looking at, OK,

00:18:17.880 --> 00:18:20.339
what's happening to me? What have I done? And

00:18:20.339 --> 00:18:22.720
also sometimes a lot of us get into the trap

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.000
of blaming, right? We always say this is happening.

00:18:25.140 --> 00:18:27.220
That's why I'm like this. This person did this.

00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:29.700
That's why I'm like this. Right. So that's another

00:18:29.700 --> 00:18:32.000
part to look at is where are we spending our

00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:35.519
time, diverting our attention to? And am I looking

00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:38.859
at this? Person as a biological system. I could

00:18:38.859 --> 00:18:41.619
be blocked and where am I blocked? So the understanding

00:18:41.619 --> 00:18:44.680
of yourself is so important, right? All right.

00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:48.240
I'm just letting it sink in for a minute No problem.

00:18:48.740 --> 00:18:52.940
I've always felt like any kind of You can calm

00:18:52.940 --> 00:18:55.960
spiritual experiences, whatever you want to like

00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:59.390
nd ease They have a purpose. They're here to

00:18:59.390 --> 00:19:02.769
teach us something, maybe point us in a direction,

00:19:02.930 --> 00:19:05.269
maybe give us some kind of a mission in life.

00:19:05.750 --> 00:19:08.470
They're not just here for our entertainment purposes.

00:19:09.369 --> 00:19:12.109
What do you feel like you got from that as far

00:19:12.109 --> 00:19:18.049
as direction for your life? Patience with yourself.

00:19:18.369 --> 00:19:21.230
As I said, coming home to yourself, loving yourself.

00:19:21.819 --> 00:19:24.599
We're always looking for other people or other

00:19:24.599 --> 00:19:27.059
other places to be loved but first step is to

00:19:27.059 --> 00:19:29.259
love yourself and respect yourself You know,

00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:32.579
we always say others don't respect me, but not

00:19:32.579 --> 00:19:35.559
true. Do you respect yourself? So now my conversation

00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:39.700
since then is all about What am I doing? Not

00:19:39.700 --> 00:19:42.140
what others are doing So when I have what am

00:19:42.140 --> 00:19:45.059
I doing and what could I do? The control always

00:19:45.059 --> 00:19:47.720
lies in me like right now. There's so many chaos

00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:49.980
in the world None of that bothers me because

00:19:49.980 --> 00:19:53.069
what am I going to do? In this world, right?

00:19:53.109 --> 00:19:55.490
It's always the question is what am I doing?

00:19:56.650 --> 00:19:59.569
Instead of what other people can do, right? Uh

00:19:59.569 --> 00:20:01.849
the old blame game can't be my fault must be

00:20:01.849 --> 00:20:04.990
somebody else's fault Yeah, we need to get past

00:20:04.990 --> 00:20:08.009
that So this set you down a path in life. Did

00:20:08.009 --> 00:20:10.890
you feel like it gave you some kind of a? Mission

00:20:10.890 --> 00:20:15.089
or purpose. I mean you talked about math Let's

00:20:15.089 --> 00:20:17.009
go back a little bit. This happened when you

00:20:17.009 --> 00:20:20.269
were 12. How did it change you at the age of

00:20:20.269 --> 00:20:25.130
13, 14, 15? Confidence. I had a confidence that

00:20:25.130 --> 00:20:28.069
I need to be here. After that, the question was,

00:20:28.210 --> 00:20:29.950
and I'm not going to be here. It was question

00:20:29.950 --> 00:20:32.670
of, how am I going to figure out to live in this

00:20:32.670 --> 00:20:36.150
world? Because all of the other, before the 12

00:20:36.150 --> 00:20:38.069
year old incident, I was always planning how

00:20:38.069 --> 00:20:41.390
to get out. After that, how am I going to be

00:20:41.390 --> 00:20:43.549
here? Is the planning and what am I going to

00:20:43.549 --> 00:20:46.789
do? to live here, right? That planning changed.

00:20:47.250 --> 00:20:49.650
And then the gifts that were given to me, when

00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:52.210
I call it purpose, the gift was mastering the

00:20:52.210 --> 00:20:54.809
mind, was what I learned that day, was how to

00:20:54.809 --> 00:20:58.309
master the mind. The mind doesn't own you, you

00:20:58.309 --> 00:21:02.990
own it. You can maneuver the mind any way you

00:21:02.990 --> 00:21:06.380
want. And it's all in your hands. No one else

00:21:06.380 --> 00:21:08.920
is going to come and save you. If you are able

00:21:08.920 --> 00:21:11.000
to save yourself and move yourself forward, it's

00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:13.319
in your hand. Others are there to support you,

00:21:13.319 --> 00:21:16.160
but they're not going to save you. You need to

00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:20.420
save yourself. Like that internal core confidence

00:21:20.420 --> 00:21:23.579
gave me that I need to share this with others.

00:21:23.660 --> 00:21:26.480
I have to share this with others. I have to help

00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:29.140
students who think they're stuck in math to know

00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:31.660
that you're not stuck in math. Math is a skill.

00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:34.859
It's a skill anybody can learn it anybody can

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:37.440
teach it to you and you can learn it But why

00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:40.279
you're not good at math and why you're not learning

00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:43.059
the skills and you're being blocked That's an

00:21:43.059 --> 00:21:47.119
internal state that I can help you unblock and

00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:50.799
get you into flow that I can teach you When I

00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:53.019
do that, they became intrinsically motivated

00:21:53.019 --> 00:21:55.940
and responsible and accountable to their own

00:21:55.940 --> 00:21:58.460
learning and they loved math They would say I

00:21:58.460 --> 00:22:02.480
hate math too. I love math Right, it's it's different

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:05.420
now if you love something you're gonna do beautiful

00:22:05.420 --> 00:22:09.400
rest of your life with it So that's how I helped

00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:11.420
my students to move and then they would always

00:22:11.420 --> 00:22:13.380
come back My students would come back to me and

00:22:13.380 --> 00:22:15.099
say, you know, whatever you helped me in math

00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:18.480
it transcended in all parts of my life I feel

00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:21.359
capable in all parts of my life is I didn't help

00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:24.359
them with math. I'll help them with their inner

00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:27.289
core to have that confidence that anything I

00:22:27.289 --> 00:22:29.730
put my mind to it and I control my mind to it,

00:22:29.730 --> 00:22:33.710
I can achieve it. And it's in my hand. I don't

00:22:33.710 --> 00:22:36.869
have to look outside and say, because of that,

00:22:36.869 --> 00:22:39.029
because of this, because of this, I'm this way.

00:22:40.130 --> 00:22:43.309
It's amazing how much one, oh, I hate to even

00:22:43.309 --> 00:22:45.869
call it a little experience, but the little experience

00:22:45.869 --> 00:22:49.910
that you had there in the hospital. Wow. Talk

00:22:49.910 --> 00:22:54.009
about changes and at such a young age. This whole

00:22:54.009 --> 00:22:57.119
thing about teaching confidence and flow and

00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:59.440
this kind of stuff and we're not going to spend

00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:02.440
too much more time on it. But do you have an

00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:04.880
example? I know you can't give us a whole crash

00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:07.200
course right now, but do you have an example

00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:09.779
of maybe one person that you've worked with?

00:23:10.089 --> 00:23:13.029
I will give you our latest, latest, greatest

00:23:13.029 --> 00:23:15.630
story. So we had a coach started working with

00:23:15.630 --> 00:23:17.890
the family. They had a son who'd been kicked

00:23:17.890 --> 00:23:20.390
out of school. He was 10 years old, on five different

00:23:20.390 --> 00:23:23.769
medications, and he is not accepted in a lot

00:23:23.769 --> 00:23:25.509
of different schools. They put him in a private

00:23:25.509 --> 00:23:29.430
school. Holes in the walls, daily, you know,

00:23:29.609 --> 00:23:31.690
different things can happen, unpredictable behaviors.

00:23:32.509 --> 00:23:34.849
Our coach enters the scene, because now I certified

00:23:34.849 --> 00:23:36.869
coaches under this methodology for the past.

00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:39.519
past five years, I have over 300 people under

00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:42.059
this methodology working with different families

00:23:42.059 --> 00:23:44.440
and adults. So when my coach entered the scene,

00:23:44.619 --> 00:23:46.779
he was telling her, like when he met with her,

00:23:46.900 --> 00:23:49.559
he couldn't even sit, he was all over the place

00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:51.619
and showing her the middle finger and all that

00:23:51.619 --> 00:23:54.400
stuff, right? Beyond that, we looked, that's

00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:57.839
one thing we look is beyond, everyone will see

00:23:57.839 --> 00:23:59.880
that as a behavior and shut down, but we don't

00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:02.640
see that as a behavior. We see as a system, a

00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:05.369
living system in distress. That's the different

00:24:05.369 --> 00:24:07.769
compassion lens that we put on as coaches, our

00:24:07.769 --> 00:24:09.710
coaches, right? My coaches, that's what we put

00:24:09.710 --> 00:24:12.529
on. So whenever he shows middle finger, it's

00:24:12.529 --> 00:24:14.950
not a big deal. He can do whatever he want. It's

00:24:14.950 --> 00:24:17.450
not going to make me want to do anything else

00:24:17.450 --> 00:24:19.829
other than know you even more. We get closer

00:24:19.829 --> 00:24:23.509
to him, right? So he is now, after her working

00:24:23.509 --> 00:24:26.470
with him for less than nine months, he is now

00:24:26.470 --> 00:24:30.569
an example for his whole class. He's off of all

00:24:30.569 --> 00:24:33.809
his medication. Not because we told him to, the

00:24:33.809 --> 00:24:37.150
doctor he saw saw a difference in him and he

00:24:37.150 --> 00:24:40.029
no longer is on any medication. There's no holes

00:24:40.029 --> 00:24:42.950
in their walls, in their house. The parents are

00:24:42.950 --> 00:24:47.109
so relaxed before they were always on guard,

00:24:47.269 --> 00:24:50.150
something. So when the coach met him, she asked

00:24:50.150 --> 00:24:53.170
him what's going on. He said, I am a cuckoo.

00:24:53.329 --> 00:24:56.589
I am a cuckoo. Right? That's what his identity

00:24:56.589 --> 00:24:58.670
was. I'm cuckoo. Everybody thinks I'm a cuckoo

00:24:58.670 --> 00:25:02.519
and I am a cuckoo. He owned it. So I behave like

00:25:02.519 --> 00:25:06.599
a cuckoo. These are his words, right? So then

00:25:06.599 --> 00:25:10.319
she later asked, who are you to this boy? He

00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:12.480
said his name and he said, you know, is there

00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:14.579
anything that you feel like, you know, you're

00:25:14.579 --> 00:25:15.960
like, you know, you're struggling or anything

00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:19.180
that you said? I think I'm struggling a little

00:25:19.180 --> 00:25:21.880
bit with math before he would say I'm cuckoo.

00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:24.059
Obviously I'm a cuckoo, right? But now he said

00:25:24.059 --> 00:25:26.559
I'm struggling with math. Now he has turned his

00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:29.700
identity into some skill that he can pick up.

00:25:30.299 --> 00:25:32.819
versus I am, rest of my life, a cuckoo person.

00:25:32.980 --> 00:25:36.559
It is a different spectrum of confidence in him.

00:25:36.700 --> 00:25:39.319
So he's now flourishing in his classroom, and

00:25:39.319 --> 00:25:41.619
every teacher loves to have him as a role model

00:25:41.619 --> 00:25:44.079
in his classroom. And we got teachers writing

00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:47.740
us some emails back saying, thank you for making

00:25:47.740 --> 00:25:50.799
him an example of our class now. And that's less

00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:52.920
than nine months into it. That just happened,

00:25:52.940 --> 00:25:55.480
so that's why I'm sharing it. And these are the

00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:57.579
changes we make we we don't make great change.

00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:00.160
We don't get the grades to change We get the

00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.220
person to transform and then transcend all of

00:26:03.220 --> 00:26:05.839
that into every parts of their life, right? So

00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:10.539
the grades become a byproduct of it Okay All

00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:12.900
right. And if people want to learn more about

00:26:12.900 --> 00:26:15.220
this, we'll get a website down on the show notes

00:26:15.220 --> 00:26:19.759
so they can find it This show is all about hope

00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:23.099
and leaving people with a message of hope What

00:26:23.099 --> 00:26:26.119
you've already done, and I appreciate, for people

00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:29.839
that have had a near -death experience that may

00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:33.500
not seem like this big grandiose thing like some

00:26:33.500 --> 00:26:37.380
people hear about, going off to the light and

00:26:37.380 --> 00:26:39.839
seeing heaven and all this really awesome stuff,

00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:43.920
lots of them aren't that way. And the ones that

00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.789
are more simple, Like what happened to you probably

00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:49.349
don't get talked about near enough, but they're

00:26:49.349 --> 00:26:52.730
obviously just as life changing because your

00:26:52.730 --> 00:26:56.029
life really changed. Can you give us a little

00:26:56.029 --> 00:27:00.289
bit more? Just dig a little bit deeper on either

00:27:00.289 --> 00:27:05.230
what happened to you or how you changed or something

00:27:05.230 --> 00:27:07.670
along those lines that's going to lead us back

00:27:07.670 --> 00:27:11.170
to this message of hope for people. Yeah. Hope

00:27:11.170 --> 00:27:14.779
was lost. Days leading up to it. I lost all hope

00:27:14.779 --> 00:27:18.740
because We do things like that because we don't

00:27:18.740 --> 00:27:21.700
see a way out right? Anyone who's kind to get

00:27:21.700 --> 00:27:25.220
to that point of level of you know exiting your

00:27:25.220 --> 00:27:28.160
own life is when we don't feel any doors opening

00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.299
for us anymore. It's all closed, all closed,

00:27:30.420 --> 00:27:32.079
all closed. And that's where your brain comes

00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:34.680
in to tell you, yeah, it's closed. Yeah, well,

00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:36.359
of course that's also closed. Of course, this

00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:38.599
one's also closed. Your brain just validates

00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:40.660
everything you think about at that time. And

00:27:40.660 --> 00:27:43.400
that's how crazy it is, right? One of the hope

00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:46.019
I want to leave today is how you own the brain.

00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:49.380
Don't allow your brain to tell you crap. Like

00:27:49.380 --> 00:27:51.759
all day long before I did it, it was telling

00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:55.500
me so much crap that That's what pushed me. That's

00:27:55.500 --> 00:27:58.160
what pushed me to the edge the crap that I listened

00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:02.539
to and then the next day I wake up and it has

00:28:02.539 --> 00:28:07.299
the All this thing to tell me the opposite. I'm

00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:09.920
like, would you even come up with this stuff?

00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:16.259
I was so destroyed so destroyed and then Sitting

00:28:16.259 --> 00:28:19.039
with those tears and going through that emotion

00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:21.539
of how can you lie to me like that? You're telling

00:28:21.539 --> 00:28:23.500
me all of this. Why didn't you tell me yesterday?

00:28:23.980 --> 00:28:26.420
Why didn't you tell me yesterday if you had all

00:28:26.420 --> 00:28:28.839
these ideas I could try I had all these stores

00:28:28.839 --> 00:28:30.740
extra doors that I could have opened It's telling

00:28:30.740 --> 00:28:33.440
me the next day telling me how wonderful life

00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:36.539
could be you couldn't have told me that yesterday

00:28:36.539 --> 00:28:38.900
this is what I want the anybody listening to

00:28:38.900 --> 00:28:41.680
me to understand about your brain is if you don't

00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:44.210
question it if I had the you know, knowledge

00:28:44.210 --> 00:28:46.329
to question a day before, I wouldn't have done

00:28:46.329 --> 00:28:50.650
it. I wouldn't have done it. But I didn't. I

00:28:50.650 --> 00:28:53.930
completely listened to all this crap. It's telling

00:28:53.930 --> 00:28:57.809
me how little I am, how stupid I am, how everybody

00:28:57.809 --> 00:29:00.210
thinks I'm stupid, how everything is going to

00:29:00.210 --> 00:29:03.309
go wrong. You're not capable for life. All of

00:29:03.309 --> 00:29:04.869
this. And the next day, it's telling me the right

00:29:04.869 --> 00:29:09.009
opposite. So why couldn't I have that conversation

00:29:09.009 --> 00:29:10.690
the day before? And I didn't have to go through

00:29:10.690 --> 00:29:14.000
any of this, right? Well, that's just about what

00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:17.079
I was going to ask is how do people know when

00:29:17.079 --> 00:29:21.359
we're being lied to by that self -talk? It's

00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:25.319
so on the it's a lie when it's all matching Like

00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:27.940
it's like you think and they bring some supporting

00:29:27.940 --> 00:29:31.619
you Constant support it is no there's no friction

00:29:31.619 --> 00:29:34.079
in your in your conversation with that brain.

00:29:34.099 --> 00:29:36.799
There's no friction It's always like yeah. Yeah,

00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:39.799
it's validating. Yeah, sure. It tells you other

00:29:39.799 --> 00:29:42.990
information to validate even further Do you see

00:29:42.990 --> 00:29:45.210
what I mean? Whatever I'm saying to it. It's

00:29:45.210 --> 00:29:47.769
gonna validate with more things that makes it

00:29:47.769 --> 00:29:51.549
yeah, it's building a case With me and the case

00:29:51.549 --> 00:29:54.210
is never it has any friction It's always validated

00:29:54.210 --> 00:29:56.769
that but in that building the case we can be

00:29:56.769 --> 00:29:59.329
a cross examiner and ask hold on a second Why

00:29:59.329 --> 00:30:01.670
would you say that? Hold on a second. Will you

00:30:01.670 --> 00:30:03.609
just told me that my mom hates me and I should

00:30:03.609 --> 00:30:05.910
in my life Well, how do you know my mom hates

00:30:05.910 --> 00:30:09.410
me? She doesn't love me like No, no, like never

00:30:09.410 --> 00:30:11.009
in her life she loved me. Like, why does she

00:30:11.009 --> 00:30:13.670
have me? Like I didn't ever cross -examined my

00:30:13.670 --> 00:30:16.650
brain. I just said, okay, yep, that's valid.

00:30:16.849 --> 00:30:19.430
Yep. That's also valid. That's great. Yeah. I

00:30:19.430 --> 00:30:22.349
understand that too, right? So it's that conversation

00:30:22.349 --> 00:30:24.130
if we can have with our brain. That's what I

00:30:24.130 --> 00:30:27.109
do now is I never believe my brain. If it says

00:30:27.109 --> 00:30:28.470
something, there's going to be a lot of cross

00:30:28.470 --> 00:30:32.029
-examination like a lawyer would. So it has to

00:30:32.029 --> 00:30:35.170
produce a case and we have to have an argument.

00:30:35.710 --> 00:30:38.799
And then Then I can make a decision on it. It's

00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:41.859
an argument That's cool. But doesn't your brain

00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:44.660
ever tell you positive things too that you don't

00:30:44.660 --> 00:30:48.480
need to argue with it can but not when you're

00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:51.519
In a state like I was or someone was listening

00:30:51.519 --> 00:30:54.640
if they're in a state of that right thinking

00:30:54.640 --> 00:30:56.480
about you know what my life is, you know when

00:30:56.480 --> 00:31:00.299
we're in a In a negative negative zone in our

00:31:00.299 --> 00:31:03.140
life or something negative is happening to us.

00:31:03.140 --> 00:31:05.819
Yeah, it doesn't have that effect. It's usually

00:31:06.109 --> 00:31:08.930
is negative, pretty negative. And it comes up

00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:12.250
with more negative. So at the hospital, when

00:31:12.250 --> 00:31:15.190
I woke up, you know, it was very scary, right?

00:31:15.490 --> 00:31:16.930
Because when you've done something like that,

00:31:16.930 --> 00:31:18.970
and you were supposed to go and you haven't gone,

00:31:19.109 --> 00:31:21.509
it is scary to face every single person in your

00:31:21.509 --> 00:31:26.589
life again. And to see life again, and you're

00:31:26.589 --> 00:31:29.650
going to try again, was hard. So that's why I

00:31:29.650 --> 00:31:33.430
explained to you earlier, that one doctor who

00:31:33.430 --> 00:31:37.509
came to visit me, All he needed to say to me

00:31:37.509 --> 00:31:40.849
was a few words and two words that I still remember

00:31:40.849 --> 00:31:43.890
to this day is, you need to rest. So I guess

00:31:43.890 --> 00:31:46.910
two sentences, you need to rest and you have

00:31:46.910 --> 00:31:51.829
a purpose. So these were the things given to

00:31:51.829 --> 00:31:54.170
me. I hold this hand like this. It was almost

00:31:54.170 --> 00:31:58.009
like I was given like this and I took it. I took

00:31:58.009 --> 00:32:01.109
it. And that was coming home to myself again.

00:32:01.289 --> 00:32:03.970
because I lost it previous to that, right? So

00:32:03.970 --> 00:32:06.750
that was me bringing back that life to me. And

00:32:06.750 --> 00:32:09.250
from that day on, I carried that I have a purpose,

00:32:09.269 --> 00:32:11.490
but I didn't know what it is. So sometimes when

00:32:11.490 --> 00:32:14.269
you come out of these things, it's not right

00:32:14.269 --> 00:32:16.150
away, it's going to be clear and for the path

00:32:16.150 --> 00:32:19.230
is like opened for you. You have to go through

00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:22.450
life and trials to what that purpose is for you.

00:32:22.509 --> 00:32:25.549
Right? It took me a long time to have this clarity.

00:32:25.930 --> 00:32:29.029
Now I know, now I know it's to deliver this.

00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:31.400
the message from my brain that I've learned,

00:32:31.819 --> 00:32:35.339
as well as to serve to 1 .5 billion humans by

00:32:35.339 --> 00:32:37.660
2035, ending the suffering because we don't need

00:32:37.660 --> 00:32:41.059
to suffer. We are suffering because we created

00:32:41.059 --> 00:32:44.420
education system on the assumption that we should

00:32:44.420 --> 00:32:47.640
all be coming into that building ready to learn.

00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:51.319
But we don't have a switch to turn on and go

00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:54.079
and learn. We're a biological system bombarded

00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:56.059
with so many variables. I don't just turn on

00:32:56.059 --> 00:32:58.539
and say, I'm ready. Teach me now. It doesn't

00:32:58.539 --> 00:33:01.759
work that way. So until we learn to respect the

00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:05.559
human as a human We have built an education system

00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:08.579
that has Caused all of our pain and suffering

00:33:08.579 --> 00:33:10.819
including adults who are in the world right now

00:33:10.819 --> 00:33:13.220
because they are all all product of the same

00:33:13.220 --> 00:33:17.700
system We're all we all are We're the problem

00:33:17.700 --> 00:33:21.130
children. I got you All of all of us it's not

00:33:21.130 --> 00:33:23.450
just you it's me it's everybody because we had

00:33:23.450 --> 00:33:25.869
the assumption that we should have a switch turn

00:33:25.869 --> 00:33:28.490
on and learn and that's how you should live life.

00:33:29.410 --> 00:33:32.390
Well it wasn't that easy and i remember some

00:33:32.390 --> 00:33:35.549
teachers they knew how to get through to me and

00:33:35.549 --> 00:33:38.789
some did not. Therefore the subject that that

00:33:38.789 --> 00:33:41.730
teacher was teaching i must be bad at right.

00:33:43.059 --> 00:33:45.079
History teacher doesn't know how to get through

00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:47.680
to me. It's all boring. Therefore, I don't like

00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:51.759
history. I love history now. I wish I would have

00:33:51.759 --> 00:33:54.819
back then. A teacher can make a break. Yeah.

00:33:55.980 --> 00:33:58.059
I had a very, very good teacher who actually

00:33:58.059 --> 00:34:00.759
who broke my silence at school because I told

00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:03.720
you earlier that I muted myself, right? One day

00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:06.880
this teacher looked into my eyes and said, Kohila,

00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:10.760
I know you can speak. Just speak. That's all

00:34:10.760 --> 00:34:13.159
she needed to do. And I started speaking. That

00:34:13.159 --> 00:34:16.000
was the first day I spoke at school. And then

00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:19.039
ever since then, I started speaking again. So

00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:22.579
there are teachers who are born to bring that

00:34:22.579 --> 00:34:24.480
for others, right? And there are teachers who

00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:28.079
bring things out of you and leave you empty too,

00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:31.500
so. All right. Well, I appreciate all the wisdom

00:34:31.500 --> 00:34:35.940
and advice and we have a lot to let just kind

00:34:35.940 --> 00:34:39.210
of sink in, right? from a lot of the things that

00:34:39.210 --> 00:34:41.889
you've said, so I appreciate it very much. And

00:34:41.889 --> 00:34:46.269
it all started with a simple NDE. Kohila, I appreciate

00:34:46.269 --> 00:34:49.309
it. Thank you for being with me today. Thank

00:34:49.309 --> 00:34:53.610
you. Thank you for having me. Thanks again for

00:34:53.610 --> 00:34:56.190
listening and sharing this podcast. Don't forget

00:34:56.190 --> 00:34:58.949
to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign

00:34:58.949 --> 00:35:01.190
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00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:04.099
If you want to share your near -death experience,

00:35:04.619 --> 00:35:06.360
or if you have questions or comments about the

00:35:06.360 --> 00:35:09.260
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath

00:35:09.260 --> 00:35:12.460
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good

00:35:12.460 --> 00:35:14.760
that you're looking for in this life and the

00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:15.139
next.