#237 - Chrystal Rae's Car Plunges Over A Cliff And Rolls 10 Times. Near Death Experience.

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One of life's greatest questions is what happens to us after we die?

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Is death the end or a new beginning?

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Welcome to the Round Trip Death Podcast.

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In this show, we listen to first-hand accounts of people who have gone beyond the veil and

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return to talk about it.

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We're pleased to have with us today Crystal Ray from her lake house.

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Hi Eric, how are you?

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Good to be with all of you.

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Tell us something about your lake house.

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Well, my lake house is kind of my little sanctuary.

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I own three yoga studios in Dallas and I'm an author and also an artist.

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So I have a real creative soul.

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So one of the things I love about this particular lake house is it's only an hour away from

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my home, which is like fantastic.

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I can come down here and there's solitude and peace.

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I always feel like when I walk into the lake house, like my blood pressure just goes, it's

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so peaceful.

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That's like me with the ocean or the mountains.

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Same thing.

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Just let the stress kind of wash away.

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The blood pressure comes down.

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The creative side of the brain opens up.

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Anyway, would you tell us a little bit about you?

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I guess the thing I should tell you is that I'm just recently married.

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I've been married for two years now.

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I have a wonderful husband.

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After 28 years of being single, and by the way, that was following the 28 years was following

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a near death experience, which we'll talk about soon, I'm sure.

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But I spent all of that time, those 28 years kind of working on this soul mission to share

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with the world that love is all that matters.

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And of recent, I am just now the most poignant thing in my life is I am about to publish

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the book that I was told to write, that book that I was told to write in this near death

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experience.

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So that's consumed a lot of my time between yoga and writing a book.

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My art has kind of suffered, but I have two children who are grown with some grandchildren

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that call me grandma, which I love.

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They think I'm the cool grandma.

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And I've got five dogs and two cats.

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And again, a lovely husband.

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I didn't mean to put him in that list, but those are the top.

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Dog cat husband, I get it.

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Yeah, cat, dog, husband, children, grandchildren, couple of yoga studios.

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I'm called the yoga mama because I really my job is really as a mentorship.

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We have had studios for 20 something years and we have thousands of teachers all over

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the United States, Europe, Canada, in particular in Dallas.

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We have three studios and it's been a lot of fun to be a mentor and a guide for many

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young women and men throughout my life.

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I say young as in 35, 40, I'm now 61.

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Well, I would have believed when you were doing the math earlier, 28 years of being

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single, two years of married, I was going to let people just believe that you were 30

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years old.

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Thanks.

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I feel like I'm 35.

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Like if I had to pick a number, that would be it.

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I don't know many 61 year olds that can walk on their hands and put their foot behind their

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head, but I'm one of them.

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Anyway, hey, let's get into talking near death experiences.

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That's what we do here.

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And I'm really glad that you agreed to be on and talk about yours because what led up

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to it is also interesting.

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I mean, it was kind of a spectacular, I guess, accident that you had.

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But why don't you give us a little background, what was going on and led up to this?

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Okay.

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So I had a very turbulent childhood.

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I think that's probably normal for many Americans, dysfunctional functional.

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So my parents were drinkers and a little bit abusive.

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And so my childhood was very kind of a tormented.

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And as a result, I really had a really deep and questioning soul.

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When you become the parent to your parent, you're not really given the opportunity to

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be a child.

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And so I always had these very elevated thoughts at a very young age.

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I remember one morning in particular when I was being forced to clean the ceiling or

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something and having this really poignant conversation with what I understood to be

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God at that time.

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And I remember thinking, you know, if there's good people and bad people in the world and

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if that is the parameter to get into heaven or avoid hell, it didn't matter to me.

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I just chose to be a good person because I am a good person.

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And it was my first real sense of worthiness in my life because I suddenly realized that

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that means I am a good person.

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And with that, Eric, I turned around and walked off the counter where I was cleaning the ceiling

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and I fell into a void.

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All I can call is a void, which was like a whirling time and space where I saw myself

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from a distance curled in a fetus position.

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And it wasn't it was almost like a tornado, but it wasn't really a tornado because there

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was no sound.

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It was just this whirling time and space.

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And I was in the middle and I was very peaceful.

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And it came to us to a very gradual halt.

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And I was floating out in this like serene velvet night with stars.

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And I looked out in the distance and I said, huh, those are stars or energy.

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And that's what we are.

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I am.

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And boom, I was back in my body.

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The most interesting thing about that experience is that I never hit the ground.

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I fell face first into the ground.

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I never hit it.

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And the reason I know I didn't hit it because I ended up standing on my feet like a cat.

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Wow.

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You know, I can't always land on their feet.

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And then I had this experience.

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I thought, oh, well, I must have hit my head.

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You know, you tried to justify and somehow saw stars and made it to my feet.

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So I went to the restroom.

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I look for you know, you can't dive into the floor without having at least a bruise or

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cut something bump.

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I had nothing.

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And so I went and I told my brother, God saved me.

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God saved me because I had this like a maybe he started laughing thinking I had completely

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lost my mind.

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And I started laughing.

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We both ended up laughing.

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I said, listen, Mark, I understand.

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It sounds crazy, especially since we come from this agnostic atheist home where God

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was only damned.

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Really wasn't really welcome in the house.

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And so he I said, but never forget.

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And the funny thing is that my brother is now a minister, right.

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And he's been my even though he didn't see the fall, he wasn't there.

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But he's been my because I somehow knew as a little girl that I would think this was

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a dream.

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You know, I mean, because it's so fantastic.

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I said, just never forget that this happened.

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So year by year, I said, do you remember?

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He's like, yeah, I remember.

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But all of that, just to put into context of like post falling from there, I started

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calling Sunday school buses.

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I kept looking for answers, walking to church.

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I was baptized five times because I didn't feel it.

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How old did you say you were at that time?

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I was this is between the age of 11 and 13 when I was on this great mission to find truth.

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So I would walk to church.

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I would call my mom thought I had literally lost my mind.

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I read the Bible seven times forward and back.

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And I was I could not find in any spiritual text, not even the Bible, because I read a

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lot.

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The love and the all encompassing sense of all pervasive forgiveness, kindness, grace,

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love that I felt in that moment.

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And so the last guy that I went to when I was a young girl before I kind of gave up

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on religion was a guy that was one of those evangelistic healers that like puts his hand

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on your head and you fall back and then you're healed and all this stuff.

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Right.

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And he's basically a hypnotist.

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There was people lining up.

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They were all falling.

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I thought, well, why not?

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Let's give this a try.

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But the minute he touched me, I knew it was not that radiant energy.

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It was a very heavy, dark energy that felt bad.

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And I remember saying I did fall back and I came up and I said, that is not love.

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That is not that's.

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And then they escorted me out because they were like, she didn't act properly.

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He did not act properly.

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And I was escorted out.

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So I went I just kind of put, you know, at this time, this my turbulent childhood.

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I know I left home at 17 between 13 and 17.

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There was a lot of upheaval, you know, teenager stuff and just trying to survive in my very

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dysfunctional home.

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So I put all of that on the back.

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I had to just survive.

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I just said, OK, I let that go.

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Seventeen, I left home.

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I remember my mom, her going away speech was, you know, you're going to be a prostitute,

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or drop out of school, be a drug addict.

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You don't have parents.

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You don't have a family.

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You don't even exist.

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Wow.

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No wonder you left.

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And so I was like, OK.

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I made straight A's.

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I graduated cum laude.

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I worked.

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I have my own apartment.

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I worked my way through college.

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You know, I did all of this.

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Sounds rough.

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It was really hard.

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It gave me a sort of grit that I think was necessary for my life, because now as a mentor

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and as a guide, someone can look in my eyes and say, oh, but I've had this horrible thing.

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You know, I've been raped.

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I've been pillaged.

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I've been abused.

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And I can say, look in my eyes and you see I've done all of that, had all of that.

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And I still choose love, because all of this other stuff doesn't really matter.

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Yeah.

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Can I can we pause for just a second?

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I want to I want to find out just a little bit more about the experience that you had

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with that healer, because people are looking all over the world for truth.

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Right.

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And you were you were looking at different churches, et cetera.

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And I think the thing that people forget that we can learn from your experience there is

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that you were you knew that you would feel the truth when it was in front of you.

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It sounds like a lot of people are looking in other ways.

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They're trying to, you know, scientifically or book learn their way into truth.

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But when we're talking about something spiritual, we have to learn that in a spiritual way.

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Right. And wasn't that what you were doing?

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Well, my experience was that I could feel the truth of this.

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And I was the the the thing is, I really wanted I wasn't going to lie to myself.

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Like when they said, you know, they dunk you underwater and you come up and they say, you

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have this new life, you're this new person.

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I was I recognize because of the experience of falling into this void of time and space,

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but this was not the true experience of freedom and love and all expansive kindness and goodness.

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I recognize it because I had a reference point.

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So I think the problem perhaps is that a lot of times we don't have that reference point,

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you know, to to say, I know what it I know what it is.

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I've been there, you know, and that's I know what it should feel like.

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I know that it's not this, you know, not this, not that.

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And I'm not saying, you know, that religion doesn't have a place because I feel like for

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me, religion is a stepping stone to truth.

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And I always say, if you're going to be a Christian, if you're going to be a Buddhist,

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you're going to be whatever your religion is, be a good one.

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Do it well.

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But don't be so dogmatic that that's the only path.

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That's my my thing.

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If it serves you to call upon Jesus or Buddha or whatever to keep you grounded, what's the

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problem with that?

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I don't see a problem with it.

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For me, it's universal love.

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It's light.

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It does.

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It's non differentiated because of my experience.

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It is definitely not embodied enough to say that these people didn't exist and are not

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avatars.

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But I know that above and beyond that, at least from my experience, what we are is the

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pure essence of beingness.

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It's a light.

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It's an energy.

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It's all pervasive, non differentiated.

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And yes, it can be personalized for certain levels of consciousness for as need be, you

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know, but it doesn't necessarily make it.

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It's just a stepping stone.

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I think eventually my truth is eventually everyone will leave those avatars and embodiments

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behind and recognize the truth of all existence is a all pervasive love that is expressed

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in particles of light and energy.

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And if one were to ever get an email from you, I'd love to this down at the bottom.

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It just said love is why.

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Love is why everything.

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So the why of our existence, you know, I remember in college reading several books, but one

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most poignantly by Victor Frankel, Man's Search for Meaning.

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Yes, I've read it.

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A Holocaust story.

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But what he found is that people have to have meaning and purpose in their life.

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And of course, a little bit of luck to avoid being shot by the Nazis.

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But to continue to survive.

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How can you survive when, like, for example, in a childhood where, you know, you're being

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abused and you're being you have little to eat and you have you're forced to work and,

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you know, how do you survive these kind of holocaustic experiences of life?

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And you have to have purpose and meaning.

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And my purpose and my meaning was that little girl saying to simply I want to be good for

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goodness sake.

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I don't want to be good to get to heaven.

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That seems corrupt to me, even at 13.

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And I don't want to be good to avoid hell.

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And I really didn't even want to sign up for a God that could create a flawed being and

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then punish it for being flawed.

256
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It just seems so ridiculous to me.

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Like, OK, if you're going to do this, it just seems it seemed really.

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And beyond that, like this is a finite point of time, 89 years, 100 years of life, and

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you will suffer for all eternity for this speck of nothing in context of all of eternity.

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The math is wrong.

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It should be the reverse of that.

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So I had a really hard time coming to terms with all of that.

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Your logic makes sense.

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All right.

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Let's fast forward a little bit towards your near death experience.

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OK.

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So fast forward post divorce, feeling much like a failure, like Cinderella and the shoe

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didn't fit.

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Somewhat like my mom was right about me.

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You know what I mean?

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Because she had said all these negative things and I couldn't even sustain a marriage.

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I did have two beautiful children and I didn't really date for about a year and a half because

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I had been married for 13 years and I just I had never to me divorce was not a possibility

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because it wasn't going to be my mother who had divorced.

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And of course I did.

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But so after about a year and a half, I decided, well, this is unhealthy.

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We need human contact.

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All I did was stay home and work with the kids and do my thing.

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But it was a very solitary time in my life.

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And so I decided that I would date just friendly dating.

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And I decided to go on a trip with a friend of mine who was very interested in dating

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me.

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But I said, listen, I'm not ready to date date, but I'll go with you as long as I can

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bring my cousin.

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Chaperone.

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A little chaperone for this 35 year old woman.

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And he said yes.

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And we went on this trip.

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And what I found is that it really wasn't my life, I was very kind of clean living.

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I didn't I never have drank.

291
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I never smoked.

292
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I never did drugs.

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It was not because as a judgment again to sit.

294
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It's probably just because it's an eight and who I am.

295
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But this particular gentleman that I went with his family drank, they cussed, they smoked.

296
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You know, it was just an environment that was very toxic for me and for my cousin who

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was this beautiful clarinetist in the Dallas Opera.

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And so we decided like, you know, this is really not as much fun as it looked like it

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was going to be.

300
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So I was leaving a day early.

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So I told my friend, I said, listen, I think we're going to head out a little early back

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00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,840
to Dallas.

303
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,960
And he said, OK, let me take you to the airport.

304
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Well, on the way to the airport, we were going up a mountain and there was a car coming down.

305
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:05,800
It was icy conditions, kind of a blizzardy is in veil.

306
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And this car hit.

307
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We started spinning, first of all.

308
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And then he put the brakes on.

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We started spinning this car that was skidding towards us, hit my side of the car, crushing

310
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the side of my door in, continuing to spin us around and threw us off a cliff, which

311
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was twenty five feet before you hit the ground and then we rolled ten times.

312
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So to your earlier point, it was a very kind of spectacular wreck.

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I'm sure it's kind of one of those things you see in the movies and go that never happens,

314
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but actually it did.

315
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,800
It sounds just like a movie.

316
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,680
I think we can all picture that from some movie from some movie.

317
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,680
Yeah.

318
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But it actually happened.

319
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:59,560
And when this happened, I had a very spiritual experience that even today, some what, thirty

320
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,160
years later, I'm still in reverence to.

321
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:10,160
And this experience started with time slowing down.

322
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And me viewing my own existence from a panoramic view, three dimensional view of everything

323
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:23,160
that had happened and most importantly, the poignant things that had happened in my life

324
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:30,280
and the ripple effect of my actions, both good and bad, out to Infinium, like how a

325
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:35,480
kind act would go out and out and out and also an uncounted act the same way.

326
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:40,800
And I saw everything from three dimensional views and three hundred sixty five degree

327
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view like front and back.

328
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:48,200
It was all encompassing view of every single thing, which sounds impossible in a span of

329
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,560
a few seconds, which I'm sure it took us to hit the ground.

330
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,360
But I was shown in that in that moment, this view.

331
00:19:55,360 --> 00:20:00,400
And I remember thinking, oh, I didn't know I was going to die today.

332
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,300
Like it was a surprise to me.

333
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:07,600
But I didn't have the typical fear response that most people have based on my childhood

334
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:12,640
experience where I had already fallen into this vortex.

335
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:19,440
So I was like super calm, like I was calmer than a cat, like I was a Zen moment.

336
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:24,320
I remember looking in the car, the guy who was driving was frantic.

337
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,640
The cousin in the back seat was screaming.

338
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:33,000
And I remember looking back and having so much compassion for her, like, I'm so sorry

339
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,900
for your fear.

340
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,480
And then I just kind of slumped in my seat and said, OK, you know, it's too late.

341
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:44,400
I'm going into the light was the last thing I said, I'm going into the light.

342
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And then I was shown in those moments, like multiple realities of which I could choose,

343
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:58,080
one of which I could come back and be crippled or have brain damage or I could die.

344
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:03,800
These are all possible lines of energy or possible destinies.

345
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:08,040
And of course, the one where I come back and I meet Eric.

346
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,240
Yay, you picked the right one.

347
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,960
And so this is the one I chose and write a book about love.

348
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,360
And so I was shown all these possible destinies and opportunities.

349
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:27,160
I was shown my children also would have different life timelines based on what I chose, but

350
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:32,560
that each soul is here for the bliss of their own existence and that my children's life

351
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:38,240
was not dependent on me, which was quite a shock because I was quite the mother bear

352
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,320
that they would be fine without me, which I was really shocked about that.

353
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:48,440
And I had always, I think, based on, you know, my childhood, seen life as like a big heavy

354
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:53,400
burden like life is like you've got to be good, a good mother, a good wife, a good ex

355
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,840
wife, a good daughter, a good this, a good that.

356
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,760
And there was not at that point in my life a lot of joy.

357
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:04,120
Probably the opposite of that, it was just like life seemed like a heavy burden.

358
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:08,280
And in that moment, I was shown three poignant things that I spoke with you about the other

359
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,920
day that changed my my view of life forever.

360
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:17,040
And they don't they're simple things, but they absolutely changed my life.

361
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:25,400
And the first one was that I was shown that I had never seen or experienced the sunrise,

362
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:30,480
which of course I have, but I hadn't really seen it with the full expression and then

363
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:36,760
the symbolic meaning of the sun rising and setting and how that is symbolic of our lives

364
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:41,720
and the opportunity that we're offered each day as the sun rises and the opportunity as

365
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,240
the sun sets to let everything go and rest.

366
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:50,840
And then second thing I was shown is that I never really smelled freshly cut grass.

367
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,960
I had this overwhelming like when someone's mowing their lawn and you have that freshly

368
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,440
cut grass smell that we all recognize.

369
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:03,880
And I was just shown like I hadn't seen the beauty in the things that I had just disregarded

370
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,880
because I was too busy.

371
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:11,160
In other words, I hadn't stopped to smell the roses much less to smell freshly cut grass

372
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:17,400
and all of the beautiful things that were around me that I had just completely disregarded

373
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,720
like the scent of freshly cut grass.

374
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:26,040
And thirdly, I was shown that I had never ever reached out and touched someone.

375
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,280
Of course I have three children, two children.

376
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,840
I had a couple of miscarriages, so that's why I said three.

377
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,520
I have two live children that made it.

378
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,840
I actually had six pregnancies and only two children, which is probably one of the worst

379
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,160
things for a marriage, but that's another story.

380
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:50,640
I had these two children, so obviously I had had intimate contact with someone, but I was

381
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:56,840
shown that I had never really fully embraced the gift of physical touch, of being able

382
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,360
to reach out.

383
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,040
You know, when you lose someone like a loved one, I think one of the things that we all

384
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,280
know that we miss most is that we can no longer reach out and touch them, like give them a

385
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:13,480
hug, like hold their hand, like brush your fingers through their hair, like those things

386
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,880
that we miss when they're gone.

387
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:19,600
And I was shown like I had all these gifts and I had not really even seen the beauty

388
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
of my own life because I was too busy with the burden.

389
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:29,520
So one of the big shifts when I came back out of this experience was that my verbiage,

390
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:34,240
nothing outside necessarily changed, but that my verbiage about my life changed because

391
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:41,080
instead of seeing I have to be good, I realized I get to be a good mother.

392
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,320
I get to smell the roses.

393
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,720
I get to smell freshly cut grass.

394
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,720
I get to reach out and touch you.

395
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:46,720
I get to.

396
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,440
That's a gift.

397
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,400
It's called life.

398
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,000
And I really had a different experience.

399
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:59,280
And post-accident, there was a lot of chaotic stuff going on, too much to really talk about

400
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,280
in a short broadcast.

401
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,280
But...

402
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,640
Were you badly injured?

403
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,400
Surprisingly not.

404
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,120
And here's the really crazy thing about that.

405
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:16,160
I did have a severe neck injury, but my cousin who was in the backseat of this small little

406
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:20,000
red Jeep we were in was banged around from side to side.

407
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:25,360
She broke every bone in her face, her eye sockets, her jaw, everything.

408
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,560
She had 90% brain damage.

409
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,780
They said she would never talk again, walk again.

410
00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:36,840
The guy driving the car had a broken arm and some back injuries.

411
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,320
I had a severe neck injury.

412
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:46,480
But the crazy thing about it is that my cousin completely healed.

413
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520
Her IQ is back to where it was.

414
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,680
She had 18 operations.

415
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,840
She's this beautiful musician.

416
00:25:55,840 --> 00:26:00,400
She became the lead clarinetist and enhanced her musical skills at the Dallas Opera when

417
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,620
she healed.

418
00:26:01,620 --> 00:26:03,000
She meant the love of her life.

419
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,480
She forgot 10 years where she was married to two alcoholic husbands.

420
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,480
She's the only member that she had.

421
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,040
Not a bad deal.

422
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,640
It was a blessing.

423
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,600
I came back with this severe neck injury.

424
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,560
It's a crazy story.

425
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,760
I'll share it if you'd like.

426
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,320
But they took x-rays of my neck.

427
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:27,920
And the first x-ray came back that I had a broken neck.

428
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:33,280
And the second x-ray came back that I did not have a broken neck because I put my hand

429
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,080
on my neck and I said, no, that's not my death.

430
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,200
That's not my destiny.

431
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,720
I'm not supposed to have a broken neck.

432
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,880
And I felt heat moving through my hand into my neck.

433
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,520
Third, fourth x-rays, no broken neck.

434
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:51,000
So they did tell me I had to sign a release saying, we're not responsible if you leave

435
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,000
the hospital.

436
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,160
But they got off the hook.

437
00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:00,520
But I did have severe whiplash, which was the entrance into my yoga journey, which has

438
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,900
been such a healing journey.

439
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:06,400
So I'm really grateful for the neck injury because I would not have found yoga.

440
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,880
One of my chiropractors that I was seeing three times a week because I could not turn

441
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:15,640
my neck, I literally was moving like a 100-year-old person where I couldn't turn my neck.

442
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,800
He said, you know, Crystal, if you just do yoga, you could heal your neck.

443
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,880
And I said, excuse me?

444
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,040
Isn't yoga what you do when you don't want to do exercise?

445
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,600
Because I was like this driven girl.

446
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,400
And he said, no, you should try yoga.

447
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,400
And he was right.

448
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,160
So yoga absolutely healed my neck.

449
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,400
But it not only healed my neck, it healed my body, it healed my soul, it healed all

450
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:43,960
the stress in my tissues, like they call it issues in your tissues.

451
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,600
Like I unwound myself on the yoga mat.

452
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:54,360
And I learned to stay in uncomfortable places, foot behind the head, for example, and breathe

453
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,960
through discomfort.

454
00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:00,080
And it taught me things I could never learn anywhere else and how to stay with things

455
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,080
in my life.

456
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:07,520
So the neck injury was a great entrance to the next decades of my life, which I'm still

457
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,040
in right now.

458
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,920
So it was a really beautiful thing.

459
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:17,040
Post-accident, I saw auras around people, which I had no verbiage for because I was,

460
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,920
again, not a spiritual being.

461
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,320
I was just a girl who wanted to do good.

462
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,920
I knew people's thoughts.

463
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:28,600
I didn't want to touch anyone because I could feel the deepest fear and their greatest joy.

464
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:29,960
And it was just overwhelming.

465
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,880
I did not want all this information.

466
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,600
I was like, listen, this is not for me.

467
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,640
This is not what I signed up for.

468
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,960
And I eventually learned how to close that energy down so that it wasn't such an open

469
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:46,840
door to all these experiences that I wasn't ready to.

470
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:51,640
I had to do a lot of self-healing before I could take on other people's, which is the

471
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:57,640
last 20 years, basic 30 years of my life was when I was given this mission to write a book

472
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,080
and tell the world that love is all that matters, coming from my dysfunctional childhood where

473
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,600
I fell in love.

474
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,280
My father left very young.

475
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,520
My mother remarried, alcoholic husband.

476
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:15,480
Her inspirational thing was, of the day, was I can't wait for you, GD kids, to grow up

477
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,240
and get the hell out of here.

478
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,880
And so I didn't feel loved as a child.

479
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:26,080
Although I have to say, even though my mom was very dysfunctional, somehow I always knew

480
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:31,720
she loved me, which was a great comfort, even though she couldn't express it in the terms

481
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,680
that a normal mother would.

482
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:40,760
And my marriage, I married somebody who just liked women a lot.

483
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,920
Really good guy.

484
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:48,920
I mean, lovely man and a great person and ended up being a decent father and a good

485
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,960
friend, but not a good husband.

486
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:59,240
So I was like, why would I be the one chosen to talk about love?

487
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,400
It seemed like such an unlikely match.

488
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,000
And so I spent the rest.

489
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,240
I knew that it was a mission that I had to heal myself.

490
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:15,080
And I realized that this, all the context and the challenging complexity of my marriage

491
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:22,120
and childhood gave me a foundation where I could speak directly to people with trauma

492
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,760
and drama and say, yes, it is a possibility.

493
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:33,560
And yes, we do magnetize things into our life for our soul to evolve, but it's all for love.

494
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:40,780
All of our challenges and all of our gifts are to the benefit of our own personal evolution

495
00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:43,360
and soul expansion and for the benefit of the whole.

496
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:50,480
Like it all works in a bigger picture and a wider view for the benefit of having the

497
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:56,400
experience of the experience so that we could know it more profoundly.

498
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,440
And I think I'm one of those souls who said, bring it on.

499
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,440
Let me feel it.

500
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:06,360
Let me dive deep into the darkness so that I can face anyone who's having these issues

501
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,880
and say, listen, look at me, look in my eyes.

502
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,600
I have beat the odds.

503
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,760
I've done the work.

504
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,040
I've seen the science.

505
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:18,440
People that have this childhood, they don't end up where I'm at normally, but it is a

506
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,440
possibility.

507
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,440
Yeah.

508
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,440
It is a possibility.

509
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:26,880
And love, and back to your question, in love is, you know, I've always felt like there's

510
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:34,120
been angels and guides by my side, even when I not necessarily was like in a spiritual

511
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,120
life, but they were always there, kind of there.

512
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,960
And the reason why they're there is because of love.

513
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,980
Like love is the answer.

514
00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:42,340
It's all that matters.

515
00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:43,560
It's the why of everything.

516
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,120
It's the answer to questions you haven't even asked.

517
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,960
And I also know that everything is already in completion.

518
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:54,400
Like there is no sense, there is no real time that the past, the present, and the future

519
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,560
is all on top of itself in the eternal now.

520
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:03,240
And in that sense, like it all makes sense when you see things from this perspective.

521
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,160
And by the way, the soul is never hurt.

522
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:10,200
Like regardless of what happens to us, either mentally, physically, or emotionally, the

523
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:18,240
soul is always innocent, always pure, untarnished, unburdened, and is choosing to have this experience

524
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,360
for the experience and for the profundity of what that offers to the soul and to the

525
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,360
whole.

526
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,560
I know that's a lot in a mouthful.

527
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:27,560
Sorry.

528
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:34,160
Do you think that one of the reasons why you felt this calling to talk about love is because

529
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,520
there were times in your life where you didn't feel loved.

530
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,640
And so you can really understand the contrast.

531
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,720
I definitely would say that yes to that question.

532
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:50,620
That is definitely for sure that I, and I never even like a lot of people feel unworthy

533
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:51,680
of love.

534
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,520
I never really had that.

535
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,440
I just felt unloved.

536
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,200
I felt like something I was doing was wrong, but it, and somehow I was making the wrong

537
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,200
choices.

538
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:08,840
And now that it's all energy and like attracts like, and I was in a certain energy tractor

539
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,980
field that attracted a certain person and people in places because that's the energy

540
00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:19,360
where my soul would best be served to grow and to learn and to serve.

541
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,360
If we can go back to the accident for just a minute.

542
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,360
Okay.

543
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,360
You mentioned that you, that you saw different paths that you had to choose from.

544
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,720
I forget your exact wording.

545
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,720
Was that symbolic or was that a literal seeing something?

546
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,200
No, it was a literal.

547
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:42,660
Not only did I see the path, I saw it to its completion.

548
00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:46,160
I saw these different paths from beginning to end.

549
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,760
Like they all, all paths lead home.

550
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,760
They all lead to love.

551
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:50,760
They all lead to God.

552
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:55,440
They all lead to whatever you want to call it, but this source of creation.

553
00:33:55,440 --> 00:34:02,560
And it didn't necessarily matter which path I took because the end is already complete.

554
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:07,580
It's all for all of us from mother Teresa to Hitler, all the same.

555
00:34:07,580 --> 00:34:12,320
The end is all, it's just a bumpy road, a dark path, a high road.

556
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:17,560
And we know we take a lot of these different paths for the benefit of the soul, having

557
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:18,780
the experience.

558
00:34:18,780 --> 00:34:25,000
Because if I was to tell you, Hey, Eric, write me a thesis on apples, but you've never eaten

559
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,440
an apple, but you knew how to speak about apples, let's say, because you've done the

560
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,440
science on it.

561
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:36,440
So biology of an apple, poetically, you could speak about it, the beauty of an apple.

562
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:41,440
Intellectually, you could make references philosophically about an apple, but you've

563
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,880
never really bitten into the apple.

564
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,960
So for me, what life is, and I love the apple because it's kind of like a spiritual analogy,

565
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:49,960
right?

566
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,880
It's taking the bite of the apple so that you can have the visceral experience of it,

567
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:59,320
which is quite different than the intellectual understanding that maybe a computer would

568
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,320
say this and this and this equals that.

569
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,320
But the computer can't bite the apple.

570
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,480
We can.

571
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,760
That was what I was shown about.

572
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,560
These are the gifts of your life.

573
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:14,080
You get to have this visceral experience unavailable and unparalleled in the universe.

574
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:19,160
It's such a gift to be born and so rare in the universe to be born a human and a very

575
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:26,680
challenging and stern teacher planet Earth because of free will, choice, contrast, change.

576
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,520
Yeah, this is not the easiest place to be, especially right now.

577
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:40,640
No, but it's for those souls who are like want truth, that want to dive deep.

578
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,360
And it's powerful.

579
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,480
It's a powerful place of change.

580
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,080
Quite awesome when you see it from a distance.

581
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:52,240
Yeah, are you able to remember any of the other paths that you saw?

582
00:35:52,240 --> 00:36:01,160
Well, the one where I came and I was crippled in a wheelchair, an old woman and dying and

583
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:07,960
such another where I was, you know, had a different level of intellect that meant many

584
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,760
other people had to be caretakers.

585
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,000
And you know, there was many, many, many, by the way, I'm just mentioning a few like

586
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:19,400
there it's amazing the information download that you that I had I particularly had in

587
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:20,400
that moment.

588
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,760
But these are the poignant ones that I remember.

589
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,840
And there were subtleties like they could have been like even in this path, there's

590
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,560
subtle roads that I could have taken.

591
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,080
I could have married a different person.

592
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,920
I could have you know what I mean?

593
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:36,040
There's it's not just one path and you're continually changing your destiny with each

594
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,240
choice.

595
00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:42,600
I read this book, Eric, it was really interesting called Einstein's Dreams.

596
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:47,920
And in this book, there's a woman walking across a field that's covered with snow and

597
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:53,600
she's wearing a long white dress and poignantly has this beautiful red hat on.

598
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:58,200
And the wind blows the hat away, but she doesn't notice.

599
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:03,600
And there is a man up on the terrace and he notices and he's watching from the distance.

600
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,440
And it shows these three different destinies that this man has where he callers out to

601
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,240
the woman, Miss, Miss, Miss, your hat, your hat.

602
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:12,880
And she says, thank you, she picks the hat up and goes.

603
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:18,240
The second where he runs down and he just shyly hands her the hat and shakes her hand

604
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,800
and goes upon his way and forever remains a bachelor.

605
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,160
And the third where he invites her to coffee and they get married and have three kids and

606
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,640
two dogs and a cat and whatever, you know.

607
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:34,000
And so the point of sharing the story was that similarly to me and my near death experience,

608
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:41,720
I was shown that even the smallest choices shift the compass of our lives and lead us

609
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:46,280
to unimaginable new lands of opportunity, growth and evolution.

610
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,520
And so it would be something so simple as like, should I put pink lipstick on because

611
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,480
I'm a girly girl or red lipstick?

612
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,400
And I was like, what's the right choice?

613
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:02,380
And to your point that you mentioned earlier, there really isn't a wrong choice.

614
00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:05,160
It's just a choice that brings you more joy.

615
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:10,640
So if pink brings you more joy today, put pink on and feel into that.

616
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:15,520
So I got really good at feeling into, because each soul is here for the bliss of its own

617
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:21,760
existence, even if that means in a challenging life such as a concentration camp or a childhood

618
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:27,800
that's very challenging, the soul is there for the bliss of having that visual experience.

619
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:34,880
So now as an adult and a woman who's free to make her own decisions, I get to decide

620
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,520
between pink lipstick and red lipstick.

621
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:45,520
And the way I make those simple and obviously more complex choices in my life is by feeling

622
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,520
joy.

623
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,760
And here's one thing I've noticed and I teach a lot of my students is that most people look

624
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,240
at these big crossroads of their life and think, this is a crossroad.

625
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:56,920
This is where my life changed.

626
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,640
That's not true.

627
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:04,100
Your life changed when you made little choices that led you to this choice, to that choice,

628
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:09,120
to this particular crossroad and not another crossroad.

629
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,440
So our choices become very poignant when you recognize this.

630
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:19,280
It can be a little overwhelming until you realize that the answer is always love.

631
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:24,720
And love is always expressed and experienced as joy, even if it's challenging.

632
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:31,600
It's kind of the joy of figuring out a complex mathematic algorithm or something.

633
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,400
It's really hard, but there's so much joy being deep into the problem.

634
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,400
You know what I mean?

635
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,680
It's like delicious to be in that problem.

636
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,120
And by the way, I'm not a mathematician.

637
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,440
It's maybe another life.

638
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,880
That's a wishful thinking for me because I'm dyslexic and I flip numbers around.

639
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:52,540
And even though I graduated magna cum laude, I had to take elementary math twice before

640
00:39:52,540 --> 00:39:57,120
I could pass what I call statistics instead of statistics.

641
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:04,120
I remember that class or class in my major classes in statistics.

642
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,440
I'm trying to understand something here and I hate to keep going.

643
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,280
I hate to keep going back.

644
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:16,560
But as I talk to people and do interviews like this all the time now, some people have

645
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,160
choices to come back.

646
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,120
Some people are just told to come back.

647
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:27,960
Some have choices like you did various paths, but a lot don't or else they don't remember

648
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:28,960
them anyway.

649
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:34,080
And it's hard to understand why if someone had a choice, maybe they would pick a path

650
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:38,480
that to us in this world seems very painful.

651
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:46,840
Like maybe the path they chose or was just given to them meant a long-term brain injury,

652
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:50,400
a long-term paralysis, who knows what.

653
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,720
Do you have any feeling on that?

654
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:53,760
I do.

655
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,000
I think everything is divinely purposed.

656
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:07,600
I think souls, many souls come back and carry heavy burdens such as that in service to others.

657
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,900
And so they many times are not even in their bodies, but they come back as in service to

658
00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:16,640
others because there is some learning around the situation for the family, for the people

659
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,040
closest to them.

660
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:24,040
Or if they come back and they have a very unhappy life.

661
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:28,760
One thing I thought about a lot is like when you pass somebody on the street and you see

662
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:33,560
like a guy with a paper bag and a sign saying, God loves you, please gave me five bucks,

663
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,800
and you know he wants to go get drugs.

664
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:40,480
And most people look at this person and they think this guy is a loser, I'm not giving

665
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:45,280
him money or who cares, here's some money, go get some drugs, whatever the case may be.

666
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:52,840
But when I look at that person, I know from my own internal experience of it that some

667
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:58,880
people come back and they're born into, let's say a mother with methamphetamine addiction,

668
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:05,480
they're tortured as children, they come back with this very heavy life, like worse than

669
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,480
what we can even imagine.

670
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:11,840
And they end up on the street corner, but they are truly avatars that come and they

671
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,480
sit on the street corner.

672
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:19,920
So one person, in case one person, and perhaps me or you, drives by and we decide to put

673
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,960
our bottle down because we see what the result could be.

674
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:30,360
And so they're alive, they are, it's such a heavy burden that only a super evolved soul

675
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,480
or a baby soul would take that path, it's one or the other.

676
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:40,760
And so that path is either a super evolved or a baby soul that's there and embodying

677
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:46,440
this super heavy path.

678
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:54,840
And when I drive by someone like that, I just think how challenging it must be to have an

679
00:42:54,840 --> 00:43:01,000
addiction, to not have family, to live on the streets, to not have any potentiality

680
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:06,000
in my future, and what that soul must be going through.

681
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:14,320
And again, I don't believe any soul will be left behind, even the basest and most vile

682
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:22,640
creature that we call human will eventually evolve and find its way to its source, which

683
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:29,840
if the seed is love, the source is love, then that which comes out, even if it's full of

684
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,960
weeds all around it, that's what it will find its way to the light.

685
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:40,560
And so there's a couple of answers, I don't think there's a one size fits all for sure.

686
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:46,400
The fact that I was shown multiple destinies, I truly believe even if you were told you

687
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:53,880
have to go back, it was a soul choice that you made with this divine being that at this

688
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,800
point I probably won't want to go back, but you need to send me back.

689
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,960
I think it's a choice.

690
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:06,400
I don't believe anything is put upon us that we do not, of our own free will, choose.

691
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,960
That's why we're on planet Earth.

692
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:15,620
But we do have guides, we do have angels that whisper in our ear that for some reason you

693
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:20,320
took this road, not that road, intuitive hit, and there's a big car accident.

694
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:27,460
I've had many occasions as such where I feel like angels and guides and spiritual masters

695
00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:30,120
have been by my side and I'm really grateful.

696
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,840
I don't think I would be sitting here.

697
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:38,640
The woman, powerful woman I am, had it not been for all the love that has been poured

698
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:44,400
out to me from these spiritual family that I have, that we all have.

699
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:50,680
How do you know when it's them whispering in your ear versus just Crystal's own thought

700
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,600
patterns going on in her brain?

701
00:44:52,600 --> 00:45:03,000
There's a very big differentiation because thoughts are disconnected from feeling.

702
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:10,040
Feeling is not necessarily connected to thought because you could say, for example, love is

703
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,800
a good experience, like an intimate love with someone.

704
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:18,200
Your mind could say, this is crazy, I shouldn't love this person, but your heart is open wide.

705
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,200
There's no connection to this.

706
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,240
It doesn't make sense.

707
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:31,640
I think that the intuitive hit of knowing is just a feeling.

708
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:39,120
There's been some times when I've had near fatal accidents in my life where you're an

709
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:46,000
inch away from some kind of big disaster and you know that someone was watching out because

710
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,320
it wasn't your time.

711
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:53,600
I think your time, by the way, when you talk about time to come, time to go, when there's

712
00:45:53,600 --> 00:46:00,440
nothing more to learn on this planet and there's no more love to give or to receive, there's

713
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,400
no reason to be here.

714
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:10,720
For me, I'm happy anytime I'm supposed to go when I'm not here for another meal, I'm

715
00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:14,940
not here for another pair of shoes, another anything.

716
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:23,000
If my soul can't learn, can't be of service, can't love, then I no longer need to be here.

717
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,960
I think if we're staying here in this realm, and again, we could leave and come back too.

718
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:33,360
If a lot of people can leave, like let's say they commit suicide or whatever, they're going

719
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,240
to come back.

720
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:40,000
I don't believe that you're going to hell because you created, I don't really believe

721
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:44,520
in hell, first of all, but I don't believe that there, I do believe there's consequences,

722
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:49,360
that the consequences are rooted in love, not fear.

723
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:53,960
At any time, I think a lot of people manifest illnesses to leave the planet because they're

724
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,360
just so unhappy in their life.

725
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:02,160
When you're unhappy in your life, you start to decay in your cellular tissue.

726
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,960
Again, each soul, the most healing thing you can do.

727
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:12,000
Oh, by the way, just for your listeners, I was also told for those out there listening

728
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:17,680
to this who are healing that sound and light is the future of medicine, and to include

729
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,680
that in the book.

730
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,840
It's been a basis of my own personal healing.

731
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,360
I do sound baths weekly.

732
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:28,020
I don't know about the light expression, how that is meant, but I was told to write it,

733
00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:29,020
so I did.

734
00:47:29,020 --> 00:47:30,320
It's in the book.

735
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,320
I know that sound has a really powerful healing effect because we're all vibrational and there

736
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:40,320
is an attunement, and being in the presence of somebody with a high attunement is very

737
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:41,320
healing.

738
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:45,160
So for example, going to sleep with the TV on is not healing for the body.

739
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,440
It can be very the opposite of that.

740
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:53,000
Or watching the news, it can have a very detrimental effect because it's so much negativity that

741
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:57,680
it starts to shut the joy down in your body.

742
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,300
Oh, yeah, you can feel it.

743
00:48:00,300 --> 00:48:01,960
You can just feel yourself shutting down.

744
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,080
People say, well, don't you know this horrible thing's happening?

745
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,000
I'm like, no, I don't know.

746
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:12,280
I typically will know because somebody will tell you, but I don't absorb that.

747
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:18,000
They call it programs because it's programming you, in my opinion.

748
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,240
What is a sound bath?

749
00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:26,440
A sound bath is high vibrational instruments, and they're only high vibrational because

750
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,760
of the practitioner sending energy through them.

751
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:37,320
So it could be a bell, a gong, a chime, but when you're in a certain space, you move energy.

752
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:41,720
When I'm in that space, I almost feel like, and I give these every Friday night, I feel

753
00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:47,920
like I'm moving healing energy through the vibration of my voice, out of the instruments

754
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:52,200
that I'm playing as a healing modality for many, many people.

755
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,920
So that's what it's been for me.

756
00:48:54,920 --> 00:49:00,360
But I also feel that as I offer this, I get a lot of healing myself, necessary healing

757
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:07,400
for my own soul, which I think we're all in a continual process of healing because there's

758
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,480
always the little hits that come in life, little disappointments.

759
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,720
I would like to say that after near-death experience, you're completely enlightened,

760
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,000
but that's not true.

761
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,520
You're human.

762
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:24,900
We're all human, and I get to evolve along with everyone else because I've had an extraordinary

763
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:31,760
experience, and I've done a lot of deep inner work and research.

764
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,800
I don't proclaim to be all-knowing or have all the answers.

765
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:41,640
I have the answers for me that are true for me, and if they resonate with you, then I'm

766
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,560
happy about that, and if they don't, I'm okay with that too.

767
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:49,320
Okay, I have one more question, but I'm going to mention the title of your book, Love Letters

768
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,320
to Your Soul.

769
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:54,800
That'll be interesting to find out why it's named that.

770
00:49:54,800 --> 00:50:00,580
It'll be out about the same time that this podcast is for people that are wondering.

771
00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:03,740
Your theme seems to be, love is why.

772
00:50:03,740 --> 00:50:07,520
How do we apply that into every decision that we make every day?

773
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:13,480
Okay, here's a question that I ask, especially in challenging decisions.

774
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:17,480
I ask myself, what is my most loving response?

775
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:24,040
Not what's the easiest, not even what's the kindest, the most generous, the most convenient,

776
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,000
what is my most loving response?

777
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,920
When I ask that question, I guess you have to ask yourself, what is love?

778
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:38,000
For me, the best definition of love comes from a great Indian sage, Ramana Maharishi,

779
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:42,880
who said when asked, he wrote nothing down, but asked by his disciples who translated

780
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:46,240
his words, master, what is love?

781
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:49,460
This one statement changed my life.

782
00:50:49,460 --> 00:50:56,000
He said, love is the pure light of undifferentiated consciousness.

783
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:00,920
If you break that down, it is quite profound.

784
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:06,120
When I say I ask myself, what is my most loving response?

785
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:14,440
I ask myself, what is the pure light, untarnished decision of undifferentiated consciousness,

786
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:21,200
meaning from a neutral space of absolute acceptance of all outcomes.

787
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,720
That most generous, loving, giving thing I can do.

788
00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:28,160
Sometimes that means slamming the door.

789
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,380
It's not necessarily what people think.

790
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:38,880
Sometimes that means opening the door and giving someone a hug, but it's like this feeling.

791
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:44,240
I don't always, I wish I could say I always move from a loving place, but I'm human.

792
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,740
I don't always do that.

793
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:54,440
My husband has this innate ability to really trigger me in good and bad ways.

794
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,840
It's a continual process, but I do move most poignantly.

795
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:04,240
I think you said when you have a deadline that you're really, is when you're really,

796
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:08,760
when I'm under pressure, when things get really serious, I go really quickly, really deep

797
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:14,120
and I land right back in that space of pure light, of undifferentiated consciousness.

798
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:20,480
When you speak from that space and when you move from that space, it's a different life.

799
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,200
It's amazing.

800
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,200
It's transformational.

801
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,200
It's a simple question.

802
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,840
What is my most loving response?

803
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,360
Let's say someone flips you off on the highway.

804
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,840
Never happens, right?

805
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:32,840
Never.

806
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:33,840
Never.

807
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,120
Let's just say it does.

808
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,120
Then you say, what is my most loving response?

809
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:39,760
Maybe it's look the other way.

810
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,200
Maybe it's wave.

811
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:42,520
Maybe it's say a prayer.

812
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,600
I love the O Pona Pona prayer, very healing.

813
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:52,160
I'm sure you know about this prayer where it is to all beings, you say, please forgive

814
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,160
me.

815
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,280
I didn't mean to hurt you.

816
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,440
Thank you.

817
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,600
I love you.

818
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:04,680
And so you take any responsibility for the vibrational alignment with a person who's

819
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,800
willing to flip you off.

820
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:08,560
So there's no enemy.

821
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:14,480
You take full responsibility and you're fully self-reliant on your own purpose in life.

822
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,040
So nothing outside of you is even outside of you anymore.

823
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,600
You say everything is in vibrational alignment with my soul.

824
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:28,000
And to your question about love letters to your soul, it's an inspirational book that

825
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:36,680
really is a poetic guide to living this life based on love and having a more free existence

826
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,360
as a result of that.

827
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,520
The other book that's coming is going to be the book about the near-death experience,

828
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,520
but that's next.

829
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,680
I had to write the book I was told to write first.

830
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:46,680
Okay.

831
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:47,920
One thing at a time.

832
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:53,680
I think this world would be a great place if each of us, when we were asked a question,

833
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,880
why did you do this or why did you do that or why did you make this decision?

834
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:01,680
If our answer was love is why.

835
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,160
Love is why.

836
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:04,160
Thank you, Crystal.

837
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,880
Appreciate you being on the show today.

838
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,360
It's such a pleasure.

839
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:17,640
Nice to meet you and I extend to you and all of your listeners, all my love, all my blessings.

840
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:21,640
If you have had a round trip death experience, we would love to hear about it.

841
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:25,320
Send an email to eric at roundtripdeath.com.

842
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:29,660
And lastly, if you have found this program uplifting, if it's given you just a little

843
00:54:29,660 --> 00:54:34,880
more hope in the future, share it with a friend, hit that follow button and take a few seconds

844
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,840
to write us a review.

845
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:41,640
Until next time, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the

846
00:54:41,640 --> 00:55:05,840
next.