"Please Don't Send Me Back" - David's 2 NDE's


In this rich and moving episode about NDE's, host Eric Bennett sits down with David McGinley — psychospiritual specialist, former Lutheran pastor, and 25-year hospital chaplain based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. What begins as a conversation about a rare and life-threatening illness quickly opens into one of the most profound explorations of consciousness, faith, death, and the nature of the afterlife.
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David has faced cancer four times and as a result has had multiple NDE's, including a full near-death experience at age 27 that he describes as the single most transformative event of his life. Over three decades later, that experience continues to shape everything he does: how he sits with the dying, how he counsels the grieving, how he thinks about God, and how he understands the purpose of his own existence.
What makes David's perspective especially compelling is that he has lived on both sides of the hospital bed.
David shares the vivid details of his near-death experiences: the grassy hill, the celestial being who greeted him like an old friend, the overwhelming sense of being completely and utterly home, and the heartbreaking moment when he realized he could not stay.
He reflects on the painful return to physical consciousness — the feeling of his expanded awareness being compressed back into the narrow confines of ego, language, and linear thought — and the years of quiet grief that followed, before he even had the vocabulary to understand what had happened to him.
The conversation also turns to David's work advocating for a richer understanding of NDEs within faith communities, his serious concerns about the expansion of medical assistance in dying (euthanasia) in Canada, and the urgent message he believes near-death research holds for clergy who may be proclaiming hope on Sunday mornings without fully realizing how much empirical support that hope actually has.
He closes with a tender, eloquent message of comfort for anyone listening who is grieving the loss of a loved one — a reminder that no one walks alone, and that all the love we have known in this life is preparing us for something even greater.
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In this episode, imagine a pastor, now hospital
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chaplain, dealing with cancer four times and
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having multiple near -death experiences. What
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would he experience in his NDEs and what advice
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does he have for other clergy? What can we learn
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from these experiences and how can a belief in
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the afterlife provide hope for your life right
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now? It's time for Round Trip Death. I'd like
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to welcome our very special guest today, David
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McGinley, coming to us from, oh man, long ways
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away, but I'm going to let you talk about that,
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David. How are you today? I'm doing really well.
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Great to see you. It's great to see you. Tell
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everybody where you live and what you do. So
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I'm in Halifax, Nova Scotia. So eastern seaboard
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and then some out into the ocean. And it's a
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cold winter's night here. I am what's called
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a psychospiritual specialist. So if you can imagine
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sort of a psychologist who has deep awareness
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of the spiritual dimensions or the existential
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dimensions of identity and consciousness and
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of reality itself, that's what I do. And I support
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people facing the crises that life will inevitably
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bring. I worked for 25 years in the hospital.
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I was a chaplain in palliative and cancer and
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intensive care. I have supported thousands of
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people on the edge of immortality and just learned
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and grown so much from everything they've taught
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me. And now I have this private practice and
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I'm an author and I produce some online content
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and I like to relax with my cat in the sunshine
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and have a nice cup of coffee in the morning
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and walk in this beautiful city, drink in the
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sea air and the sunshine. Even on a cold day,
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it's a beautiful thing. I remember, don't you
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have some pastoral duties as well? Well, I did.
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I had a church for 10 years, a Maluthrin pastor.
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Then I had a parish in a little fishing village
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called Lunenberg, Nova Scotia, and I was there
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for about a year, and really enjoyed. It's the
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oldest Lutheran congregation in Canada, and beautiful
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people. That's fantastic. And speaking of that,
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it wasn't until I saw you face to face today,
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because the other day we just spoke on the phone,
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face to face I figured out where I remembered
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you from. And correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't
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you on a panel discussion at Ions in Phoenix?
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Yes, I've been a member of the International
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Association for Near Death Studies, and I was
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on a clergy panel in Phoenix, and we were talking
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about how, ironically, clergy, who should be
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experts in near -death experiences and the nature
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of the afterlife, are very unfamiliar with the
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prevalence of the phenomena. One of the things
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I like to do is conduct workshops for clergy
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and raise awareness of how very real the hope
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is that we proclaim every Sunday, but how broad
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it is, far beyond the box of any one faith tradition.
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Well, I was in the audience that day. And if
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I remember right, you were hilarious. Now, you
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seem very calm and mild -mannered here, just
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the two of us, but in front of hundreds of people,
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you were pretty funny. Well, you know, the adrenaline
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gets going. Right? I vividly remember that presentation.
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I had a lot of fun at that. There's a lot that
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we can laugh at about ourselves, both as individuals
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and as clergy and as church. And that was a delightful
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experience. I'm glad you also laughed along with
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us. Well, I wish I could say I remembered a lot
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of the things that came out of your mouth. My
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memory isn't that good, but That makes two of
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us. But I do remember laughing and it being a
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really good panel discussion that day. And I
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love having clergy on from time to time and getting
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a perspective from different viewpoints. And
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also, and we'll do this a little bit later after
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we hear about your near -death experiences, but
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also getting a perspective that you can share
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to help other clergy who may be listening. A
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lot of them need help. No offense to people out
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there, but Like you said, it's something that
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a lot of clergy are really behind on and don't
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know that much about. I had an opportunity to
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be on a podcast a little while ago for, I think
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it was called the Planters podcast. So it was
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all about people planting these individual churches
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all over. And it was fascinating speaking with
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them and got a lot of good feedback there. But
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anyway, Enough of me talking. I want to jump
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into... I'm just looking at my notes here. You're
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a cancer survivor, which also led to some amazing
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experiences. Why don't you jump into that story?
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Yeah, yeah. As a chaplain, I know cancer from
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both sides of the bed. I've had cancer four times,
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so I'm really lucky to be alive. And it's not
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a kind of cancer that most people have. You know,
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cancer... We think of it as this vicious disease
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that spreads out or metastasizes and compromises
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the different organs in your metabolism. My cancer
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is called perangaloma. This is sort of a gelatinous
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tumor that grows. 90 % of them grow on the adrenal
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gland and they're called pheochromocytoma. And
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when they're elsewhere in their body, they're
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called perangalomas. Mine I had when I was 17,
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then 27, then 35, then 37. So this tumor makes
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a Molotov cocktail of chemicals, dopamine, norepinephrine,
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adrenaline, components of adrenaline, something
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called catecholamines. And these are very concentrated,
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so when your adrenal gland turns on, it triggers
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the tumor to explode. Most people die in about
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a minute. Smaller explosions feel like you got
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hit in the gut, your heart is racing, you're
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sweating, and you collapse. I have collapsed.
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I don't know how many times because of the tumors.
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Now the first one was in my bladder. So I was
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lucky. The metabolites flushed out in my urine.
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I didn't feel the anxiety and the... the fight
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-or -flight response from these massive levels
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of dopamine and other metabolites. The second
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one, 10 years later, was on my femoral artery.
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That's not good. When the tumor blows, remember
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it's because your adrenal gland released some
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adrenaline. Now, what's the most anxiety -provoking
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things that you could possibly do? Public speaking.
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Well, I was a student minister getting into the
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pulpit every Sunday. That wasn't a good combination.
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A lot of times I thought that I couldn't be a
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pastor, I couldn't do the job because I kept
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having these what felt like anxiety attacks.
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And then one day I was doing a hospital chapel
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service and the tumor blew and I went down. Now
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a hospital chapel, that's a good place to die.
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You got medical, you got spiritual, right? And
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that's where I had my near -death experience.
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I tell you, life -changing. Now, these tumors,
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you can't hit them with chemo or radiation because
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they grow so slowly and they have very thick
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cell walls, so they're resilient. You've got
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to go in there surgically and extract them, but
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then the surgical team are acting like a bomb
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squad. As soon as you manipulate the tumor, it's
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going to blow. So a lot of people die on the
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table. They have to lower your blood pressure
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to about 50 over 30 and hold it there through
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the operation. That's barely enough to keep your
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blood vessels puffed up, you know, when not that
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they're going to collapse. But then they hit
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the tumor and they pull it out and it releases
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chemicals. Your blood pressure skyrockets and
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that's giving you more headroom. because they
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kept it so low. And then they give you other
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medications to bring that down again. It's sort
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of a roller coaster for a few minutes. And if
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you survive, okay, it's good. It just sounds
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terrifying knowing that you have these time bombs
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inside yourself. Yeah, because even intense emotion
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is dangerous, right? Excitement, joy, anger,
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anything that gets the adrenaline really going
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to feel can be fatal. when you have a periganglioma.
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So I'm very lucky to be alive and I credit that
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to my doctors and of course to God and the angels
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and the unseen accompanied guardians and guides
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and I must have been sent back for a reason and
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I now 30 years later have an idea of what that
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reason was. Tell us later. Let's say that. Yeah,
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keep us in suspense. I'm going to make a note
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here so I don't forget to ask you about that.
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But let's get into the near -death experience
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itself. What happened? Yeah, so I didn't have
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the tunnel and I didn't see my body from above.
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That's common, but not in the majority of cases.
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I was suddenly on a grassy hill. I passed out
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just at the beginning of my sermon. I crashed
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and I hit the floor, but I'm gone. and I'm on
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this grassy hill. One of the things that strikes
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me is that it was marked by such an utter sense
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of relaxation and a sense of being home. You
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hear that a lot from near -death experiencers.
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Absolutely. It's one of the very common things.
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And I think, personally, that that refers to
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an existential integration. In my near -death
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experience, there wasn't any aspect of myself
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that I was suppressing. There wasn't a subconscious,
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there wasn't an ego. I didn't have a fractured
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framework of identity. It was integrated. So,
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yeah, you're at home in yourself because now
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you know and you are yourself as you essentially
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are. Not the story we tell ourselves about ourselves,
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which is the ego. and not the critical voice,
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not any sense of limitation. There are no words
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for how utterly complete you realize that you
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are. Can I ask a question right there? Not to
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second -guess anything you're saying whatsoever,
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but some people tell me that feeling of home
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is more like, this is where I came from. Okay,
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like a heavenly place they came from, now they're
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back there. You described it very differently.
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I supplement what they said with my perspective,
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because I also felt utterly familiar with the
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place. I knew it. And when I was there, I was
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jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas,
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overjoyed, saying, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home.
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Right? It's like I knew I had come back. to the
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place I belong. It's home. It's the inner and
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the outer, and there is no difference between
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the two. And I felt completely connected to everything,
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every blade of grass on that hill. And there
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was a tree at the top of the hill. There are
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no other trees. And I felt fully connected to
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that tree. And I could sense how that tree was...
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pulling in the nutrients from the soil and the
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energy from the air. And I thought one with the
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air and the sky. But with it was this complete
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sense of final excitement and relaxation into
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such authenticity that I had never experienced
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before on Earth or in this form. Oh, every time
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I talk about it, I feel homesick. Give me more
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detail. You were jumping up and down. Jumping
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up and down. There was someone there. There was
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a celestial entity. It was masculine. He felt
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like my best friend. I felt like I had known
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him all of my life. It was great. And he simply
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said, it's great to see you, David. And I said,
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it's so great to be here. Come on, let's run
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to the tree. I'm like a kid with his best friend.
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And he said, no, you can't go up there. That's
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common, right? In near -death experiences, there's
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often a boundary or point at which you can't
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go beyond. I knew if I got to that tree, I'd
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never come back here. I was pulled to that tree.
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But he said, let's talk. Things are going really
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well, David. And we had this conversation that
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felt so casual, so relaxed, so intimate. And
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yet I also could sense from him that this was
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an entity of absolute love and compassion, but
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also authority and insight and wisdom. I was
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humbled in his presence and I was as relaxed
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as I would be with a childhood friend. We talked
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about my life and Well, I can't remember all
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the details of that conversation. It's basically,
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things are going really well. You're where you
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should be. You have a lot more work to do. You
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can't stay here. It's really important that you
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go back. And we're walking on the hill in the
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grass. And I said, that's ridiculous. Why would
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I go back? I'm finally here. I'm home. That this
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is everything I've longed for. Come on, let's
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go to the tree. There was a power in his presence.
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I felt the significance of what he was saying.
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You have more work to do. Look back now, and
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I think that work is related, of course, to the
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relationships and the conversations I would have,
00:15:30.850 --> 00:15:34.090
because we're all here walking each other home.
00:15:35.289 --> 00:15:38.009
We're all here to help each other wake up to
00:15:38.009 --> 00:15:40.679
what we essentially and fundamentally are. But
00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:43.940
I also knew that it meant I had a lot of maturing
00:15:43.940 --> 00:15:48.379
to do. I had a lot of growing up to do. I was
00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:52.519
young. I was 27. I still didn't know how to love
00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:58.059
really well and live really well. He said, you
00:15:58.059 --> 00:16:02.919
need to go back, but we will be with you. Plural.
00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:05.639
That was interesting. When I realized that I
00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:08.039
wasn't going to be able to stay there, I said,
00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:13.299
Please, you can't send me back. I just want to
00:16:13.299 --> 00:16:16.519
say, don't send me back to that. Because this
00:16:16.519 --> 00:16:22.679
feels very fractured. This feels awkward and
00:16:22.679 --> 00:16:26.379
clumsy and dense and inefficient, this state
00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:29.299
of existence compared to that. This is like a
00:16:29.299 --> 00:16:31.820
two -dimensional cardboard cutout. I was more
00:16:31.820 --> 00:16:34.399
alive there. That's something that stuck with
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:37.279
me as I supported hundreds and Hundreds, I've
00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:39.500
been at the bedside of so many as they've died.
00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:44.120
And I know for them, it'll be waking up. And
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:46.980
the gravity of grief will be left with here,
00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:51.580
with us. So part of me is a little bit envious.
00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:55.500
And sometimes I say in my closing prayer for
00:16:55.500 --> 00:16:58.379
them, you know, thank you for the gift of your
00:16:58.379 --> 00:17:00.600
life and your love, and pray that you release
00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:03.759
your body without... You know, release your body
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:06.720
with gratitude, release your life without regret,
00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:09.859
and go on the wings of wonder to what's awaiting
00:17:09.859 --> 00:17:14.099
you, and we'll see you on the other side. You
00:17:14.099 --> 00:17:16.839
know, watch over your family if you can. Don't
00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:21.200
freak them out. Behave yourself. Behave yourself.
00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:24.099
Is that something that you believe that they
00:17:24.099 --> 00:17:27.700
can do? Sort of like the ghosts, you know, the
00:17:27.700 --> 00:17:30.640
scary ghosts we think of? Is that a thing? Well,
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:35.039
I tend to think the ghosts are a complex remnant
00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:38.400
of consciousness amplified by our own consciousness.
00:17:39.900 --> 00:17:42.099
I think there are different forms of spirit.
00:17:42.579 --> 00:17:44.539
I think the afterlife is a lot more complicated
00:17:44.539 --> 00:17:47.960
than we realize. This episode of Round Trip Death
00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:51.299
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of life forms here on earth, why would there
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not be even more after the physical form drops
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away? So I think it's a rich and amazing universe.
00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:22.880
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I've got to
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:26.319
ask you, this entity that was with you and that
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:30.200
you were conversing with, do you have any feeling
00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:35.099
for who that was? I have wondered if it was Jesus.
00:19:35.660 --> 00:19:41.539
It certainly would be him in his compassion and
00:19:41.539 --> 00:19:47.180
love and presence, but it could equally have
00:19:47.180 --> 00:19:51.720
been an angel with that same characteristic of
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:56.640
consciousness. I do feel that I had known him
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.400
and he had known me from the beginning, so maybe
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:05.039
a guardian angel. I still talk to him or them.
00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:08.880
you know, throughout my incarnate form, my journey
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:11.920
here. I've often asked them for help in my work
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:15.599
at the hospital with the dying. Because, you
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:18.299
know, to be honest, just because you have a near
00:20:18.299 --> 00:20:20.500
-death experience, it doesn't upgrade all aspects
00:20:20.500 --> 00:20:23.640
of your ego or your consciousness. I am still
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:26.500
human and in many ways as ridiculous as ever.
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:30.220
So, if left to my own devices, I'm probably going
00:20:30.220 --> 00:20:33.690
to mess things up. Always asking for help. Well,
00:20:33.690 --> 00:20:36.089
especially when you're doing something that important
00:20:36.089 --> 00:20:42.390
like helping someone on their deathbed Wow Yeah,
00:20:42.390 --> 00:20:44.349
we would need help because how do you know what
00:20:44.349 --> 00:20:48.230
to say? And that was a beautiful thing that you
00:20:48.230 --> 00:20:51.089
told us a few minutes ago But you know, maybe
00:20:51.089 --> 00:20:56.170
they need specific advice or I don't know I Wouldn't
00:20:56.170 --> 00:21:00.119
know what to say well I stop worrying about what
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:02.819
to say, and I focus more on the quality of my
00:21:02.819 --> 00:21:05.920
presence. Don't worry about the words that will
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:09.180
come out of your mouth. The Bible talks about
00:21:09.180 --> 00:21:11.500
Jesus is reassuring his disciples, don't worry
00:21:11.500 --> 00:21:14.200
about what you're going to say. Relax. Why do
00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:18.200
you worry about anything? Be open. Be open so
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:20.259
that spirit can flow through. Get out of your
00:21:20.259 --> 00:21:24.339
own way. I'm still working on that homework.
00:21:25.079 --> 00:21:28.309
It takes a certain kind of faith to just Sit
00:21:28.309 --> 00:21:31.289
back and and wait for that kind of inspiration
00:21:31.289 --> 00:21:35.049
to come You also mentioned the term we and I
00:21:35.049 --> 00:21:38.089
know you've thought about this a lot, too So
00:21:38.089 --> 00:21:41.269
any idea of who the we was that one being you
00:21:41.269 --> 00:21:45.049
were with and who else? Yeah, I think that I
00:21:45.049 --> 00:21:48.289
think every one of us has a team on the other
00:21:48.289 --> 00:21:53.809
side Not a single angel or entity. I think Some
00:21:53.809 --> 00:21:57.069
of us need a bigger support team or committee
00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:01.400
Because we're a harder work in progress. Yeah.
00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:07.759
The nature of consciousness itself is that there
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:10.759
is no such thing in the end as an individual
00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:13.920
consciousness. It's all a collective form of
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:18.039
one consciousness. Because, well, we're getting
00:22:18.039 --> 00:22:22.539
into some theology here. If God is, and God is
00:22:22.539 --> 00:22:26.200
infinite, indivisible, ultimate consciousness
00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:29.980
from which reality emanates, which Saint Paul
00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:33.839
talks about in Corinthians. That means that there
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:38.920
can be no separate objects or entities in the
00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:42.420
universe. All of them are emanations from the
00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:46.680
one consciousness. And by that, every moment
00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:50.660
of our existence is dependent upon this reality
00:22:50.660 --> 00:22:56.339
of non -dual consciousness. So, Here I am, a
00:22:56.339 --> 00:23:01.119
temporary form that, even after I die, will continue
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:05.740
in its own perceived unique individuation so
00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:09.660
that it may participate in the mosaic of creative
00:23:09.660 --> 00:23:13.759
enterprises of the divine. But ultimately it's
00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:17.500
only one. I think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane
00:23:17.500 --> 00:23:19.740
praying, may they be one as you and I are one,
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.240
you and me us and them. I think there's a mystical
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:26.799
foundation of the ground of being underneath
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:31.039
all of this. It's quite perplexing, wondrous,
00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:34.140
and the poverty of my words is really not going
00:23:34.140 --> 00:23:39.900
to be adequate to explore it. And so many experiencers,
00:23:39.900 --> 00:23:43.640
as you know, talk about that feeling of oneness.
00:23:44.059 --> 00:23:47.059
And I often ask them to explain it and it's very
00:23:47.059 --> 00:23:49.900
difficult to explain. Most people just can't.
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:53.259
They're just like, I just felt one with you and
00:23:53.259 --> 00:23:56.839
me and the universe and God and everything, that
00:23:56.839 --> 00:24:00.700
we're all connected in some way. Okay, I want
00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:03.220
to get back. Was there more to your experience
00:24:03.220 --> 00:24:06.740
than this and how did it end? I pleaded once
00:24:06.740 --> 00:24:12.559
again to not be sent back and he turned to me
00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:16.079
with an even deeper gravity of presence, and
00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:18.339
he put his hand on my shoulder, and this love
00:24:18.339 --> 00:24:23.160
and compassion poured into me, complete understanding.
00:24:23.380 --> 00:24:27.279
And he just said, don't worry, we'll be with
00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:31.140
you, we'll see you, we'll see you later. And
00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:34.519
boom, I was back. So that's the hardest part.
00:24:35.099 --> 00:24:37.980
Yeah, I've heard it explained many ways. Some
00:24:37.980 --> 00:24:41.890
people say it feels like being slammed. back
00:24:41.890 --> 00:24:45.650
in this body, they don't fit into... How did
00:24:45.650 --> 00:24:47.890
you feel? What was it like or do you remember?
00:24:48.690 --> 00:24:51.549
Oh, I felt my consciousness being compressed.
00:24:52.210 --> 00:24:57.569
Yeah. I felt the density of this level of reality
00:24:57.569 --> 00:25:01.529
compared to that. I felt the utter inadequacy
00:25:01.529 --> 00:25:04.589
of my thoughts, which must progress one after
00:25:04.589 --> 00:25:09.309
the other as my words do, and how utterly inadequate
00:25:09.309 --> 00:25:13.900
they are. to express the deep nature of what
00:25:13.900 --> 00:25:18.019
is fundamentally real. Everything becomes distorted,
00:25:18.819 --> 00:25:21.319
right, through perception and time and space
00:25:21.319 --> 00:25:25.740
and body and cognition and language and flesh
00:25:25.740 --> 00:25:30.640
and bone. And what I had become, as well as what
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:35.019
I had experienced, receded from me, just descended,
00:25:35.180 --> 00:25:37.869
like I dropped it into a... the depths of the
00:25:37.869 --> 00:25:40.190
ocean and I'm watching it disappear down into
00:25:40.190 --> 00:25:43.789
the dark. There was no way I could keep it at
00:25:43.789 --> 00:25:47.309
the level of my egoic functioning and my perceived
00:25:47.309 --> 00:25:51.089
separate identity. It just sank down and I felt
00:25:51.089 --> 00:25:54.230
myself reaching out and grasping for it and it
00:25:54.230 --> 00:26:00.930
was gone. And it left me simply feeling homesick
00:26:00.930 --> 00:26:04.369
and embarrassed that I had passed out and scared
00:26:04.369 --> 00:26:07.789
everyone. Again, right? Because I had passed
00:26:07.789 --> 00:26:11.029
out before. The doctors and the nurses, they
00:26:11.029 --> 00:26:13.329
took my vitals. They couldn't find anything wrong.
00:26:13.430 --> 00:26:16.109
They gave me some orange juice. And every time
00:26:16.109 --> 00:26:20.029
I tell this story, you know, I feel it. I went
00:26:20.029 --> 00:26:23.390
home. I didn't tell my congregation. I didn't
00:26:23.390 --> 00:26:27.410
tell anyone. Because this was over 30 years ago.
00:26:27.509 --> 00:26:29.390
I didn't know about near -death experiences.
00:26:30.170 --> 00:26:32.569
So what do you do when your consciousness...
00:26:32.859 --> 00:26:35.119
moves from this state, and then you're expanded
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:38.579
into one so full and connected, and then you're
00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:40.920
compressed back into this. You crawl into bed
00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:45.019
and you grieve. You don't know why. And you shove
00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:49.039
it down, and it took me years to integrate it.
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:51.680
And then when I started hearing about others
00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:56.779
who've had them, the memory and the feeling surfaced.
00:26:56.859 --> 00:26:59.339
As much as you're trying to dismiss it as a dream
00:26:59.339 --> 00:27:04.970
or a hallucination, or a distortion, you can't
00:27:04.970 --> 00:27:08.170
shake it. It's unlike any dream or memory you've
00:27:08.170 --> 00:27:12.589
ever had. It has its hold on you. You are apprehended
00:27:12.589 --> 00:27:16.309
and it won't let you go. And this homesickness,
00:27:16.509 --> 00:27:20.809
this love, this complete and utter, inexplainable
00:27:20.809 --> 00:27:26.630
knowing of God and Spirit and continued existence,
00:27:27.490 --> 00:27:31.900
it's wonderful and it's lonely. I love that term,
00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:35.680
homesickness. Yeah, if it felt so much like home,
00:27:35.740 --> 00:27:39.180
you miss it. That's the grieving that you're
00:27:39.180 --> 00:27:42.920
talking about. Totally makes sense. And yet I
00:27:42.920 --> 00:27:46.640
know that I'm here for a reason. Let's jump to
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:49.059
that. You mentioned that earlier. You learned
00:27:49.059 --> 00:27:50.799
about your mission in life. What are you here
00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:54.559
for? I'm here to shine, in my own particular
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:57.619
way, and help others to do that too. Love is
00:27:57.619 --> 00:27:59.880
your spiritual practice, because God is love.
00:28:00.460 --> 00:28:02.900
And that means love isn't an emotion. Love is
00:28:02.900 --> 00:28:04.819
the highest state of consciousness, completely
00:28:04.819 --> 00:28:07.900
integrated and connected. That's why whatever
00:28:07.900 --> 00:28:10.200
you do to the least of these, you do to Him.
00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:14.640
So how I do that, or how I was led to do that,
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:17.380
was not something quite of my planning. It came
00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:21.759
upon me. You know, I went back to my seminary
00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:24.859
after my internship. I finished my degree. I
00:28:24.859 --> 00:28:29.549
was placed in a church. On the first day in my
00:28:29.549 --> 00:28:32.269
new parish, a man died, and there I was sitting
00:28:32.269 --> 00:28:36.190
at his side, feeling oddly comfortable. I didn't
00:28:36.190 --> 00:28:39.509
know that was a prelude or a forewarning of what
00:28:39.509 --> 00:28:42.130
I would become. I had a church for ten years,
00:28:42.230 --> 00:28:45.250
bumbling along, not very good at church administration,
00:28:45.369 --> 00:28:48.369
but loving to be with the people and share the
00:28:48.369 --> 00:28:51.650
stories. Then an opportunity came up for hospital
00:28:51.650 --> 00:28:54.910
chaplaincy, and I just felt compelled, and I
00:28:54.910 --> 00:28:59.430
jumped for it. 25 years later, it's been the
00:28:59.430 --> 00:29:02.269
richest vocation I could ever have imagined.
00:29:03.009 --> 00:29:05.329
But how do you go through helping people that
00:29:05.329 --> 00:29:09.210
are on their deathbed and not come away just,
00:29:09.210 --> 00:29:12.269
oh, wow, just depressed every day after doing
00:29:12.269 --> 00:29:15.930
that? Well, there's a tension at play because
00:29:15.930 --> 00:29:19.890
it's what I call emotional cholesterol. It builds
00:29:19.890 --> 00:29:23.170
when you are continually exposed to suffering.
00:29:23.900 --> 00:29:26.220
without relief between the cases. There's no
00:29:26.220 --> 00:29:29.700
way to process it between the cases. So yes,
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.539
eventually that destabilizes your ability to
00:29:33.539 --> 00:29:37.140
function, literally. I went on sabbatical for
00:29:37.140 --> 00:29:40.180
a year because I'd written a book and there's
00:29:40.180 --> 00:29:42.839
the book, Beyond Surviving. And this talks about
00:29:42.839 --> 00:29:45.740
my four rounds with cancer and patient stories
00:29:45.740 --> 00:29:49.900
of cancer and how to engage the crisis to deepen
00:29:49.900 --> 00:29:54.000
your love and connect to that spiritual foundation.
00:29:54.619 --> 00:29:56.400
We'll put a link to that in the show notes if
00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:58.119
people want to find it. You have another book
00:29:58.119 --> 00:30:00.660
too. Go ahead and mention it now. And the other
00:30:00.660 --> 00:30:03.099
book is, I think it shows up backwards on your
00:30:03.099 --> 00:30:07.339
thing, but Early Exits. Yeah. So this is a lot
00:30:07.339 --> 00:30:10.220
thicker. This one is pretty heavy. It's about
00:30:10.220 --> 00:30:14.000
euthanasia, which is legal in Canada. And when
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:16.880
that was brought in 10 years ago, it fundamentally
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:19.000
changed the nature of palliative care and the
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:22.480
nature of my work. And while on one level, Many
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:25.059
people said it's a kind and compassionate thing
00:30:25.059 --> 00:30:27.900
to do when people are facing unbearable suffering.
00:30:28.299 --> 00:30:31.660
On another level, I found it utterly an impoverished
00:30:31.660 --> 00:30:34.799
response to suffering. The efficient management
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:37.980
of death through a simple injection. It turns
00:30:37.980 --> 00:30:40.759
out that the vast majority of people are requesting
00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:43.759
it because of spiritual suffering or existential
00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:47.680
distress, not because of physical pain. Yes,
00:30:47.740 --> 00:30:52.200
there are. those who have terrible physical suffering,
00:30:53.099 --> 00:30:56.619
but that can be managed through proper medication,
00:30:56.940 --> 00:30:59.819
which may require palliative sedation. A lot
00:30:59.819 --> 00:31:01.619
of people are scared of that. They don't want
00:31:01.619 --> 00:31:03.380
to be floating in limbo, or they don't want to
00:31:03.380 --> 00:31:05.980
put their family through that. People are unaware
00:31:05.980 --> 00:31:09.160
of the architecture, how the architecture of
00:31:09.160 --> 00:31:12.319
consciousness and identity is deconstructed through
00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:16.079
that period of dying, and how this is an opening
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:21.700
to your Your spiritual identities, near -and
00:31:21.700 --> 00:31:23.960
-death awareness, mystical states of consciousness
00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:26.359
near the end of life, are incredibly common.
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.180
But with euthanasia, we turn you off before you
00:31:30.180 --> 00:31:33.559
reach that stage. And I'm even bold to say I
00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:36.640
feel it's a medical procedure being used to treat
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:38.779
what is predominantly a spiritual condition.
00:31:39.400 --> 00:31:42.900
So you're against euthanasia. Yeah. Oh yeah.
00:31:43.380 --> 00:31:46.839
I think that the appropriate response is proper
00:31:46.839 --> 00:31:49.640
pain management. deep compassion, the community
00:31:49.640 --> 00:31:53.980
to rally, and for that process of telling your
00:31:53.980 --> 00:31:57.859
story, expressing your fear, putting what terrifies
00:31:57.859 --> 00:32:02.079
you out in front with a professional, with someone
00:32:02.079 --> 00:32:06.819
who's able to help you unpack that. And talking
00:32:06.819 --> 00:32:09.240
about near -death experiences is part of it,
00:32:09.339 --> 00:32:12.880
because these are also so common. One in ten
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:14.559
who have a brush with death will have a near
00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:17.519
-death experience. One in five. who have a cardiac
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:21.380
event, will have a near -death experience. Independent
00:32:21.380 --> 00:32:25.559
of belief, culture, age, education, it's the
00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:28.839
greatest gift that lies hidden in palliative
00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:31.779
care. It's exciting to share this with doctors
00:32:31.779 --> 00:32:35.119
and nurses. I presented a grand rounds at the
00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:38.000
hospital on near -death experiences. It turned
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:40.839
out to be the highest attended and the highest
00:32:40.839 --> 00:32:44.359
rated grand rounds they've ever had. People want
00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:48.559
to know. Anyway, What does working with the dying
00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:52.619
do to you? It deepens your humanity. It clarifies
00:32:52.619 --> 00:32:54.839
your principles. It amplifies the gift of an
00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:58.819
ordinary day. And when you take care of yourself,
00:32:59.420 --> 00:33:03.960
exercise, healthy eating, watch your bad habits,
00:33:04.579 --> 00:33:08.200
get plenty of sunshine, meditate, contemplate,
00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:13.220
connect, then it quiets the noise down. It certainly
00:33:13.220 --> 00:33:16.500
changes... your perspective on the insanity of
00:33:16.500 --> 00:33:20.819
our world. It calibrates you to compassion. Which
00:33:20.819 --> 00:33:25.000
brings peace. You seem to be someone at peace.
00:33:25.339 --> 00:33:28.420
And doing this kind of service, I can see why.
00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:32.400
Yeah, I'm not consistent with it. We're human,
00:33:32.859 --> 00:33:37.880
okay. And still very much a clown. But that's
00:33:37.880 --> 00:33:40.319
okay. My wife says my ridiculousness is part
00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.609
of the charm, so... Let's hope she's honest about
00:33:43.609 --> 00:33:47.390
that. Let's hope that attitude never changes.
00:33:47.789 --> 00:33:50.390
All right, let's shift gears and talk about advice
00:33:50.390 --> 00:33:53.569
to other clergy for a minute. Where would you
00:33:53.569 --> 00:33:57.769
even start? First, let me just say that they're
00:33:57.769 --> 00:34:02.430
hungry for it. The appetite for hope is immense
00:34:02.430 --> 00:34:05.690
among the clergy, because the hope we proclaim
00:34:05.690 --> 00:34:08.670
of the resurrection still predominantly tends
00:34:08.670 --> 00:34:12.179
to be abstract. until you talk to someone who's
00:34:12.179 --> 00:34:14.980
experienced, right, touch their doorstep on the
00:34:14.980 --> 00:34:17.699
other side. There's so many who've been temporarily
00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:20.679
transformed. It is utterly staggering. So I bet
00:34:20.679 --> 00:34:24.179
if you're in a church, there are many in your
00:34:24.179 --> 00:34:26.019
congregation who've had these, but they don't
00:34:26.019 --> 00:34:29.019
talk about it because the church often criticizes,
00:34:29.219 --> 00:34:32.019
people have been rejected, people have been dismissed,
00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:34.940
because the leaders didn't know how to integrate
00:34:34.940 --> 00:34:38.670
it. They weren't aware of it. I did a presentation
00:34:38.670 --> 00:34:43.050
to our Lutheran clergy in Eastern Canada and
00:34:43.050 --> 00:34:47.170
all of Ontario. There was a lot there, and the
00:34:47.170 --> 00:34:49.590
bishops were there, and the Anglican bishop was
00:34:49.590 --> 00:34:53.230
there, and they were enthusiastic and excited.
00:34:53.789 --> 00:34:55.849
I renewed, for some of them, renewed their hope.
00:34:56.349 --> 00:34:58.929
But let's acknowledge the theological tensions.
00:34:59.750 --> 00:35:04.070
It challenges any exclusive claims that a church
00:35:04.070 --> 00:35:08.769
might have upon Jesus. as the only way to God,
00:35:09.090 --> 00:35:11.429
because near -death experiences are universal.
00:35:12.150 --> 00:35:15.150
So that's going to threaten some theological
00:35:15.150 --> 00:35:18.750
constructs and doctrine. But it actually doesn't
00:35:18.750 --> 00:35:22.550
compromise the centrality of Jesus in our salvation
00:35:22.550 --> 00:35:25.590
story. It can change the meaning of the word
00:35:25.590 --> 00:35:28.309
salvation, which actually means wholeness and
00:35:28.309 --> 00:35:31.449
to be complete. It doesn't actually mean life
00:35:31.449 --> 00:35:35.550
after death. And it shifts the focus of the Church's
00:35:35.550 --> 00:35:38.670
work from getting you to heaven, if you say this
00:35:38.670 --> 00:35:42.409
certain prayer, to now bring the Kingdom of God
00:35:42.409 --> 00:35:45.429
here to earth. That's what it's really about,
00:35:45.829 --> 00:35:48.309
in how we treat and relate to each other. It's
00:35:48.309 --> 00:35:52.349
a very incarnate faith. I would encourage clergy
00:35:52.349 --> 00:35:55.309
to go to the International Association for Near
00:35:55.309 --> 00:35:59.389
Death Studies website, and they have online discussion
00:35:59.389 --> 00:36:02.820
groups. There's one for interfaith clergy, there's
00:36:02.820 --> 00:36:05.880
one for Christian clergy, and it's a little advertisement.
00:36:06.139 --> 00:36:09.280
I am the guy who facilitates that. I think there's
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:12.059
a Jewish one, too, if I remember right. Yeah.
00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:14.480
Yeah, there's a Jewish one. Think of it this
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:17.619
way. If God is love, then again, love is your
00:36:17.619 --> 00:36:21.599
spiritual practice. And whatever belief system
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:25.619
and doctrine you hold, even if it's pretty loctite
00:36:25.619 --> 00:36:30.829
and sound, it's going to fall far short. of the
00:36:30.829 --> 00:36:33.269
mystery and wonder of reality that's out there.
00:36:33.929 --> 00:36:36.670
Because the poverty of our understanding just
00:36:36.670 --> 00:36:42.969
cannot impart this realm. Only love can do so.
00:36:43.389 --> 00:36:45.510
Getting back to what you mentioned a minute ago,
00:36:45.869 --> 00:36:49.389
I don't find near -death experiences in any way
00:36:49.389 --> 00:36:54.230
contrary to basic Christian doctrine from the
00:36:54.230 --> 00:36:57.650
Bible. That's me personally. We also need to
00:36:57.650 --> 00:37:00.360
remember one thing. When we're listening to these
00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:04.440
experiences and that is. That people are getting
00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:10.199
a very small glimpse of something okay in in
00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:15.360
my opinion there on just the front step of the
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:18.880
porch of heaven or spirit world or whatever we
00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:21.960
want to call it and they're getting a small glimpse
00:37:21.960 --> 00:37:24.940
they're coming back there explaining it to us
00:37:24.940 --> 00:37:28.679
in terms that they understand. which may use
00:37:28.679 --> 00:37:31.579
some terms that we may or may not believe in.
00:37:31.940 --> 00:37:34.920
Some people have a hard time hearing about reincarnation
00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:37.860
because that doesn't seem to fit with doctrine,
00:37:38.539 --> 00:37:41.219
but people also don't know how to explain it
00:37:41.219 --> 00:37:46.300
any other way. witnessed. And they're not seeing
00:37:46.300 --> 00:37:49.980
the entirety of the plan. They're not seeing
00:37:49.980 --> 00:37:54.099
the entirety of heaven and God's work and all
00:37:54.099 --> 00:37:56.960
of that. And that's not to discount their experiences
00:37:56.960 --> 00:38:01.460
at all, but let's take them for what they are.
00:38:02.340 --> 00:38:05.219
And because they're a little glimpse, I think
00:38:05.219 --> 00:38:08.260
that's why sometimes people think they're contrary
00:38:08.260 --> 00:38:12.710
and they're not. Let's remember that we are inherently
00:38:12.710 --> 00:38:16.550
limited to our vocabulary, our cognitive framework,
00:38:17.650 --> 00:38:21.710
the theological or existential story that we've
00:38:21.710 --> 00:38:23.949
inherited. So when we come back, we're going
00:38:23.949 --> 00:38:27.530
to express it in those terms. Thank you for saying
00:38:27.530 --> 00:38:30.610
that better than I did. I was trying to say what
00:38:30.610 --> 00:38:34.469
you just did. The story of the experience is
00:38:34.469 --> 00:38:37.510
not the experience itself. And the story is going
00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:41.010
to need a vessel. or framework, and we work with
00:38:41.010 --> 00:38:45.250
what we got. So I've been working on integrating
00:38:45.250 --> 00:38:48.030
near -death experiences with Christianity, and
00:38:48.030 --> 00:38:51.389
I also see no contradiction in terms of reincarnation,
00:38:51.570 --> 00:38:55.670
one of the red flags for Christians. My conclusion
00:38:55.670 --> 00:38:57.750
is the afterlife is a lot more complicated than
00:38:57.750 --> 00:39:01.130
I can comprehend. And even the concept of time
00:39:01.130 --> 00:39:04.269
and space, I don't even know what that is. It
00:39:04.269 --> 00:39:06.590
seems to be a product of mind and perception.
00:39:06.969 --> 00:39:13.179
And I trust that, you know, God has it all taken
00:39:13.179 --> 00:39:15.840
care of. I'm not going to worry about if I come
00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:20.360
back. I frankly don't want to. In fact, when
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:23.699
my mom died, I sat with her and in her silence
00:39:23.699 --> 00:39:27.340
right at the last hours, I said, Mom, I'm going
00:39:27.340 --> 00:39:29.619
to have a heart -to -heart with you. Don't worry
00:39:29.619 --> 00:39:33.019
about us. You've loved us well, and you are well
00:39:33.019 --> 00:39:36.119
loved. I hope you know that. You just go. Dad
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:38.119
will be there, and he'll greet you with a kiss
00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:41.179
and open arms, and you're going to have a great
00:39:41.179 --> 00:39:45.019
welcoming party. And I said, look, if reincarnation
00:39:45.019 --> 00:39:47.739
is a thing, Mom, I don't want you to even get
00:39:47.739 --> 00:39:50.340
in the lineup. This place is going crazy here.
00:39:50.599 --> 00:39:55.619
And you see, be casual about it. Be serious in
00:39:55.619 --> 00:39:59.639
your love. Be confident in God's grace and wisdom.
00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:03.840
And don't try to figure everything out. Focus
00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:06.760
on your love. You can't do any better than that.
00:40:07.539 --> 00:40:11.059
And we'll all find out one day, won't we? We
00:40:11.059 --> 00:40:12.880
will. All right, I'm going to leave you with
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:16.019
the last word. There is somebody out there listening
00:40:16.019 --> 00:40:20.380
today, and if this is only for one person, that's
00:40:20.380 --> 00:40:23.940
fine. And that is that there's somebody out there
00:40:23.940 --> 00:40:28.159
who is grieving, wondering if a loved one who
00:40:28.159 --> 00:40:33.139
has passed recently really is still alive in
00:40:33.139 --> 00:40:37.239
some way. And is there really an afterlife after
00:40:37.239 --> 00:40:40.139
this? Would you leave us with a nice message
00:40:40.139 --> 00:40:44.260
of hope today? Sure. So for you, right, if you're
00:40:44.260 --> 00:40:47.139
watching us, you're watching this conversation
00:40:47.139 --> 00:40:49.980
and you're grieving, you're struggling. I want
00:40:49.980 --> 00:40:52.820
to say something that's really hard. God's grace
00:40:52.820 --> 00:40:55.820
will protect you from nothing, but it will sustain
00:40:55.820 --> 00:40:59.659
you through everything. God and the angels and
00:40:59.659 --> 00:41:01.739
all the entities will not protect you from the
00:41:01.739 --> 00:41:05.880
homework. the hardships of life. But they walk
00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:11.019
with you. No one is alone. And your grief is
00:41:11.019 --> 00:41:14.099
the price we pay for our love and attachment
00:41:14.099 --> 00:41:17.719
in the human form. And it is a beautiful and
00:41:17.719 --> 00:41:21.800
noble way to be broken. So I encourage you to
00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:26.699
honor your grief, to find ways to say thank you,
00:41:26.940 --> 00:41:32.219
love you, forgive me, and goodbye. see on the
00:41:32.219 --> 00:41:35.320
other side. I want to assure you of that hope.
00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:39.719
You're never alone, and all the love you've ever
00:41:39.719 --> 00:41:42.159
known is going to prepare you for the love to
00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:45.900
come. So trust the journey. Connect with your
00:41:45.900 --> 00:41:49.199
community. Slow down and take care of yourself.
00:41:50.179 --> 00:41:52.260
Thank you, David. Beautifully said. Thanks for
00:41:52.260 --> 00:41:56.079
the conversation. It's an honor. Thanks again
00:41:56.079 --> 00:41:58.639
for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't
00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:00.880
forget to hit the follow or subscribe button
00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:03.320
and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath
00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:06.800
.com. If you want to share your near -death experience
00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:09.119
or if you have questions or comments about the
00:42:09.119 --> 00:42:12.000
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:15.179
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good
00:42:15.179 --> 00:42:17.500
that you're looking for in this life and the
00:42:17.500 --> 00:42:17.860
next.










