NDE: Bled Out During C-Section, Saw Grandmothers

WEBVTT

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From the time that they pronounced me dead was

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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled. My heart, my heart had stopped

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and I could see people screaming and crying but

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I didn't realize that was actually my physical

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body because I was somewhere else. The only thing

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that I could feel if you could imagine absolute

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love and peace, there wasn't anything else to

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be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in

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the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe

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and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip

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Death everybody. I'm really happy to have with

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me today Cy Marie Johnson. How are you today?

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I'm doing pretty good. It's a nice Friday. Remind

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me where you're from. I am in Oregon. Okay. I've

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been talking to so many people east today it's

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good to talk to somebody west. Anyway we're thrilled

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to have you here and before we jump into your

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near -death experience which is terrifying and

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beautiful and all of the above tell us just a

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little bit about you could you take just a minute

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let us get to know you a little bit. I am an

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author and a screenwriter. I am a mother of four

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children and two of my sons unfortunately were

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born with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and they're

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fully wheelchair bound. So in addition to what

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I'm here to talk to you about today, that has

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been a big cross to bear and a burden, but it

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has also allowed me to take kind of of, you know,

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my experiences, my trauma and my pain and learn

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the lessons from those things on how I could

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take that and inspire other people through my

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own experience. And when you get to these different,

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I mean, these are some incredibly emotionally

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devastating things I've gone through. Of course,

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of course they hit me hard. But everyone who

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goes through those stages and has those moments,

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I feel like You got two choices that you can

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take on the route what you have to do healing

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you and you have to tap into What that looks

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like for you because it does look different for

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everyone, but I'm a very spiritual person So

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I kind of after my NDE that geared me into the

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career field that I am now if you will so That's

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just a little bit of background. I feel like

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my near -death experience and some of those other

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things Help shape me into who I am. So that I

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could build up the confidence through healing

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and this journey to become Cy Marie Johnson,

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the author. How old are the boys? My oldest son

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is 22 years old, and my second one, I actually

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have three sons, but these are the two with the

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disease, is 19 years old. Okay. One of my best

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friends had a form of muscular dystrophy, so

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I'm pretty familiar with it. It's a rough one.

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Yeah, it's really rugged. Speaking of rugged,

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we're going to talk about a really rugged childbirth

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that you had about 15 years ago. Before we let

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everybody know exactly what happened during your

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pregnancy, did you have any hint that there were

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going to be problems during childbirth? Yes,

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I did. I had an incredibly rough, very high -risk

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pregnancy, and I had to go to a number of specialists.

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At that time, I happened to be in Nashville,

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Tennessee, and they sent me to a specialist at

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Baptist Hospital who scheduled to put me in because

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they expected that if they didn't be proactive,

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that they were going to be dealing with probably

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a loss of both of mine and my son's life. Well,

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do you want to tell us about it a little bit?

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Sure. 2011 is when this all happened. Early 2011

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is when my son was born, but the pregnancy was

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mostly 2010. 2010, when I found out that I was

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pregnant, I had already known a few things about

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my history that had led me to believe that I

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needed to be very cautious and conscientious

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about my health and my growing babies. I already

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had a background with some heavy, difficult childbirths

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from my three other children. And I kind of had

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that as a side note in my mind of okay well I'm

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just going to be proactive because these things

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could happen and they did happen. And what happened

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with me specifically was I developed a rare complication

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called placenta procreta. I've heard of placenta

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previa. How is this different? It is related

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placenta previa was the first diagnosis that

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I got but there are two different types of rare

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even worsening complications that can happen

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from placenta previa and that is with placenta

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previa the placenta goes to the bottom and it's

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at the bottom of the uterus and it makes it really

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difficult to have you know a regular childbirth

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because it's blocking the birth canal. Okay so

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that happened but what happens even more that

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can happen is first there's placenta accreta

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and that's when the placenta completely attaches

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in that spot. and it cannot move at all. Sometimes

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you get placenta previa and it will still shift

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with the baby growing and move up, but if you

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get a creta, then it's stuck there. And then

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percreta is when the placenta starts to grow

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through the uterine wall and towards other organs

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in your body. In my case, that happened. It glued

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through the uterine wall and started to try to

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grow into my bladder. The reason why that occurred

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is because I had had C -sections beforehand and

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I had scar tissue so that it did not know to

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stop growing. I should have welcomed everybody

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to the women's health hour instead. And I don't

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mean to get too personal. Please just shut me

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down if I cross any lines here. But I think some

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people are curious. These things happen and they're

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so deadly. Yes. So it comes time to go into labor.

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What happens then? Well, they didn't want to

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allow me to go into labor, so they actually scheduled

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me to go in. I went to have a scan on Valentine's

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Day. My son was born February 18th. So Valentine's

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Day, I went in and the doctor said from the scan,

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we're really worried. We think we need to get

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you into the high -risk labor ward as soon as

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possible to prevent you from going in and schedule

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a C -section. we can have all the staff on hand

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to help you with any hemorrhaging you might have,

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which obviously I'll tell you that. You know,

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and also to get me the steroid shots. And one

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of my aunts had to give me a steroid shot the

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day I went in the morning, I actually got admitted.

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So I had to take one that night and then the

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morning I got admitted as well. And I was in

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the hospital for about two and a half weeks.

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Okay. Keep going. Okay. So in the hospital, I'm

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I'm telling you Eric, everything that could happen

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to somebody happened to me. Very much tested

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my strength as a person and my faith in anything.

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So I get up there and they get me all set up

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and they start me on my IVs and they tell me

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I can't eat and everything because they're getting

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me prepared for pre labor, pre OR. And everything

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seems to be going pretty standard the way that

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I am used to C -section planning going. So we

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go and they had to, this was something that was

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different. They were sent me to radiology and

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they said, okay, so we're doing something and

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it shouldn't hurt at all, but we're going to

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take these balloons and we're gonna cut into

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the apex of your thighs and we're gonna thread

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these up. So if there's any hemorrhaging when

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we do this operation, we can inflate them and

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it will cut off. the blood supply so that we

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don't have an overbearing problem that we can

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try to stop it before you lose all of your blood

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and die, basically. And it shouldn't hurt when

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we cut into your legs and, yeah, okay. That's

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what they told me. They sent me into radiology

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and they're like, this should be fine. I mean,

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they made it seem like it was just going to be

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something simple like a pen prick or maybe a

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shot. Not the case. I felt all of it. And there

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was no anesthetic used. And I also had to completely

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hold still because of what they were doing and

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everything else that I had already attached to

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me with the IVs. And it was painful. And I told

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the radiologist that, you know, this is painful.

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And I think they were a little bit surprised

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that no one else had actually vocalized that,

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I guess. I don't know. I know that it hurt me.

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Yeah, of course it did. Alright, keep on going.

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So we get through that procedure and I have these

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balloons in my legs and they had to put a CV,

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another IV in me, like a central one in my neck.

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And that was a preventionary in case they did

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have to immediately attach any kind of blood

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transfusions or platelets or anything that was,

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you know, blood product to me. and it would be

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able to go straight into the neck through the

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carotid and rest of my body. They went to do

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that and they had to get a radiologist with a

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portable x -ray machine and they came over and

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they well before the x -ray machine person came

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they tried to put it in and they pinched a nerve

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in my neck. Then they're like oh no so they went

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and they go get this radiology person and they

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have to get them to scan my neck so they can

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make sure they don't hit the nerve and they still

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get the the artery right. So these are all the

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things that are leading up and now I'm starting

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to get anxious obviously because I've been put

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through through pain that I was told wouldn't

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hurt Now I've had a nerve pinched and all these

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extra things happening that I've never had before

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so I'm up to that point and they finally get

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me into the OR and They're like, okay, we're

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getting ready to do this We're gonna count you

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down because when the with the type of c -section

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I was having in that case It was the abdominal

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length one instead of the across horizontal way

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They put you completely under with that when

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they do what's called the bikini cut incision,

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which is the horizontal way at the bottom of

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the abdomen. They usually do either an epidural

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or a spinal tap on that. And in this case, because

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it's a bigger abdominal section that's cut, they

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just completely put you under. And so they started

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to count me down and I remember hearing two and

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that was it before my near -death experience

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happened. So I'm in the OR, I get counted down

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to two. And the next thing that I know, and I

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will tell you what people told me happened. in

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real time while I was under, but this is what

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I know happened after I was under, okay? I'm

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awake and I'm suddenly in this... I express it

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as kind of like it's a hallway, but when people

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have asked me does it feel like it was like a

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tunnel, like it had walls that you could see,

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and the answer is no. But I felt like it was

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tunnel -like because I'm standing in this darkness

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and this just open, dark, black space. I'm standing

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there and I'm looking around and it just it feels

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the same as what it would feel like being in

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a dark tunnel so that's the way that I felt on

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initial and so At first I'm just like where am

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I? You know, I've never had any kind of dreams

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like this. So this was weird and so then I See

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this tiny distant like ball of light like it's

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really tiny like an ember Way way way deep in

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the darkness And so I'm drawn to this like a

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moth to the flame because it's the only other

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thing besides me in the darkness there. And I

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start to walk towards it slowly, curiously, and

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suddenly I feel pressure on both of my shoulders.

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Like somebody is on trying to push me, stop me.

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And I look this way and I see my dad's mother

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who passed away when I was three years old. Clear

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as day, she's right there and her hand's on my

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shoulder and she's looking at me. And I know

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it's her. I remember, I have very few memories,

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but I remember what she looked like. And I've

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seen pictures through time, you know. And then

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I look this way and I see my great -grandmother

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from my mom's side, my mother's, mother's mother.

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Same thing. And she died when I was 15. And I

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see the light between them, like in the distance.

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And I keep trying to walk and they're trying

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to stop me. And they say, no, stop. It's not

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your time. There's lots of things you still have

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to do. I feel so compelled to just keep going

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towards light and this feeling that's undescribable

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this beautiful whole pure love Goodness every

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good energy emotion that we could ever have on

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earth Times like five thousand so strong and

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it's magnetic and all I want to do is get to

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it and my Grandmothers are both telling me no

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stop if you go any further you won't be able

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to come back The next thing I know I'm back But

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my eyes are not fully open and I can just hear

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lightly my ex -husband and my cousin who were

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in the hospital and they were in the post OR

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room and they were talking about how I almost

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died and this is what I'm hearing as I'm and

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I finally opened my eyes and I look at my cousin's

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the one the closest to me and my ex -husband

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was more towards the foot of the bed and the

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first thing out of my mouth is where's my baby

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and they're both just like oh my god you're awake

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you've been out for hours It felt like 10 minutes,

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Eric. Okay. I'm not quite sure what to make of

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this big darkness area. Some people refer to

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a void. Do you feel like it was a void or do

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you feel like it was more of a tunnel going somewhere?

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I think it was both and I've told that to people

00:14:00.620 --> 00:14:03.720
more than once and it is a void but I also think

00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:06.139
that if you keep moving forward it does lead

00:14:06.139 --> 00:14:08.850
to somewhere. And people have asked me before,

00:14:09.090 --> 00:14:11.070
well, where do you think it leads? I didn't get

00:14:11.070 --> 00:14:15.070
that far. I was told by people that I've already

00:14:15.070 --> 00:14:18.370
passed on that I recognized in a loving way to

00:14:18.370 --> 00:14:20.590
go back to my body that I still had things to

00:14:20.590 --> 00:14:24.330
do. And at first I kind of didn't want to, but

00:14:24.330 --> 00:14:28.590
then I heeded the advice. I feel that it's definitely

00:14:28.590 --> 00:14:30.889
just like a big void to start out with, but there's

00:14:30.889 --> 00:14:33.250
something when you move forward through it. I

00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:35.980
don't know what it is. Well, the fact that you

00:14:35.980 --> 00:14:40.820
were super drawn to that light says a whole lot

00:14:40.820 --> 00:14:45.139
Of course you said you were feeling pure love

00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:49.000
Times five thousand and things like that Do you

00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:51.559
think it was coming from that light or where

00:14:51.559 --> 00:14:55.179
you were? No, it was definitely the source of

00:14:55.179 --> 00:14:57.419
the light and the source of the light is what

00:14:57.419 --> 00:15:01.120
sent them Okay, so that's why you were drawn

00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:03.559
to it. That's where all that good feeling was

00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:07.330
coming from Now it makes sense. All right, tell

00:15:07.330 --> 00:15:11.629
me about grandma and great -grandma Well, my

00:15:11.629 --> 00:15:13.889
grandma Elizabeth, which was my dad's mother

00:15:13.889 --> 00:15:16.190
again Like I said, she passed away when I was

00:15:16.190 --> 00:15:19.789
three years old So I only got to know her for

00:15:19.789 --> 00:15:23.440
a very brief amount of time during some just

00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:25.480
starting to get your formative memories, just

00:15:25.480 --> 00:15:27.799
a few stay, you know what I mean? I will say

00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:29.720
I was fortunate to be able to hold on to a lot

00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.200
of my toddler memories about that time period.

00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:37.059
So she was originally from Missouri. She was

00:15:37.059 --> 00:15:41.240
a woman of incredible fortitude and faith. She

00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:44.220
came from the Ozarks and she was from the Appalachian

00:15:44.220 --> 00:15:47.840
area. And she ended up moving from there to Oregon

00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:50.980
where she met my grandfather, my dad's dad. and

00:15:50.980 --> 00:15:55.820
he was a soldier during World War II, fought

00:15:55.820 --> 00:15:59.179
over across seas in Germany and things. The two

00:15:59.179 --> 00:16:01.799
of them settled here in Oregon and raised their

00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:07.019
family. And she was, she was a kind of had some

00:16:07.019 --> 00:16:09.120
mythical beliefs, old folklore, because she was

00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:11.460
from Appalachia. And but she was also a very

00:16:11.460 --> 00:16:15.840
strong faith driven woman and had a lot of belief

00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:20.230
in God and tried to raise her family. with that

00:16:20.230 --> 00:16:23.129
kind of conviction. So that definitely stemmed

00:16:23.129 --> 00:16:26.090
forward to my raising through my dad. So she

00:16:26.090 --> 00:16:28.730
was a person that, evidently from what I've been

00:16:28.730 --> 00:16:32.889
told, adored me and was ecstatic. I was her second

00:16:32.889 --> 00:16:35.490
grandchild. I have an older cousin named Rachel,

00:16:35.570 --> 00:16:39.009
but I guess really thrilled when she would have

00:16:39.009 --> 00:16:41.870
Rachel and I together. We were the light of her

00:16:41.870 --> 00:16:45.649
life. Did you get a good look at her? Like what

00:16:45.649 --> 00:16:48.049
she was wearing, how old she looked? Tell me

00:16:48.049 --> 00:16:51.350
about that part. Not really like clothing wise

00:16:51.350 --> 00:16:55.070
but like faith face wise and like what she looked

00:16:55.070 --> 00:16:58.190
like and it's important to note my dad passed

00:16:58.190 --> 00:17:01.610
away in 2022 and the day that he passed away

00:17:01.610 --> 00:17:05.309
I had a dream with her in it in a very similar

00:17:05.309 --> 00:17:09.690
way and he was with her I Knew when I woke up

00:17:09.690 --> 00:17:11.430
that I was gonna get the news that my father

00:17:11.430 --> 00:17:16.049
passed away that day and I did So she looked

00:17:16.049 --> 00:17:19.690
just like she did when she was young I could

00:17:19.690 --> 00:17:23.069
tell that it was her, but it was before age had

00:17:23.069 --> 00:17:25.430
taken over and she had gotten, you know, older.

00:17:25.670 --> 00:17:28.970
I would say probably about 30 -ish. Her hair

00:17:28.970 --> 00:17:31.329
is a similar color to mine. She had auburn hair,

00:17:31.369 --> 00:17:33.089
which was kind of like chestnut brown, but with

00:17:33.089 --> 00:17:36.410
like a red, rusty kind of highlight. I have that

00:17:36.410 --> 00:17:39.910
naturally too. And kind of wavy, curly, about

00:17:39.910 --> 00:17:42.250
to here, which was how she wore it when she was

00:17:42.250 --> 00:17:47.009
young, about 30 years old. Good health, very

00:17:47.009 --> 00:17:50.339
vibrant. Full of that same kind of like that

00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:54.819
same light Kind of filled her eyes if you will

00:17:54.819 --> 00:17:58.460
Okay, how about great -grandmother? So my great

00:17:58.460 --> 00:18:00.519
-grandmother I knew a little bit better She was

00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:03.220
with me a little longer through life and she

00:18:03.220 --> 00:18:06.480
was originally from Wisconsin and then she was

00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:09.200
moved to California during the Second World War

00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:13.509
She was a redhead blue eyes and fiery personality,

00:18:13.569 --> 00:18:16.589
but also incredibly faith driven as well. And

00:18:16.589 --> 00:18:18.750
part of that was because of some of the experiences

00:18:18.750 --> 00:18:21.849
that she had in her life. For example, my grandmother

00:18:21.849 --> 00:18:24.470
almost passed away as an infant because of a

00:18:24.470 --> 00:18:26.650
house fire that they just barely got out of.

00:18:27.069 --> 00:18:29.990
So these kind of experiences really shaped her

00:18:29.990 --> 00:18:32.170
into becoming very spiritual person as well.

00:18:32.829 --> 00:18:35.710
She was always an incredibly open minded person.

00:18:35.789 --> 00:18:39.740
She taught me to accept all people. And she taught

00:18:39.740 --> 00:18:41.940
me that she grew up during a time when there

00:18:41.940 --> 00:18:45.640
was a lot of hatred in the world that we don't

00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:48.680
have to carry forward. She was a person who wanted

00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:52.319
to bring joy to people's lives. And she got cancer,

00:18:52.380 --> 00:18:55.579
which is what took her. When she was 76, she

00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:57.960
passed away. And that last time I spent any time

00:18:57.960 --> 00:18:59.819
with her was the May just before that. She passed

00:18:59.819 --> 00:19:03.119
away November. She told me, she goes, you know,

00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:05.059
you're only ever as old as you allow yourself

00:19:05.059 --> 00:19:08.160
to feel. no matter what's going on. So I always

00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:11.359
try to stay in my 16 year old self. However,

00:19:11.420 --> 00:19:14.500
that's not how she looked. She also looked about

00:19:14.500 --> 00:19:17.319
30 and in good health, the same as my grandma

00:19:17.319 --> 00:19:20.440
Elizabeth. Her name was Bernice. Full red hair,

00:19:20.539 --> 00:19:23.740
flaming, curly like when she was young and just

00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:26.460
beautiful. Like both of them were just beautiful

00:19:26.460 --> 00:19:28.700
and full of light and vibrance like if they were

00:19:28.700 --> 00:19:31.720
on their best day in life. You had mentioned

00:19:31.720 --> 00:19:33.980
that after you woke up, you immediately were

00:19:33.980 --> 00:19:37.059
asking about your baby. Did you think about your

00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:39.859
baby at all when you were in this experience?

00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:46.000
No, none of any of my concerns that I had on

00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:49.259
the earthly plane, if you will, were with me

00:19:49.259 --> 00:19:53.640
at that. The only thing I felt was that draw

00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:58.420
to this incredible over all beautiful, all encompassing

00:19:58.420 --> 00:20:01.460
love. And if not for the two of them telling

00:20:01.460 --> 00:20:03.400
me to go back, I would have continued toward

00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:07.009
it. That was the only thing. I wanted to be in

00:20:07.009 --> 00:20:09.789
the presence of that. Do you feel like you had

00:20:09.789 --> 00:20:14.190
a choice or they were making you go back? No,

00:20:14.190 --> 00:20:16.690
I think that after they first tried to stop me

00:20:16.690 --> 00:20:18.569
and they said what they said to give their message

00:20:18.569 --> 00:20:20.769
that that was an opportunity for me to make a

00:20:20.769 --> 00:20:24.950
choice, but to be aware that I was making a choice

00:20:24.950 --> 00:20:27.650
in that moment that I would not be able to come

00:20:27.650 --> 00:20:31.119
back from if I had moved forward. That was when

00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:33.279
I actually I think it was in that moment that

00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:35.380
I realized there's something behind me. I have

00:20:35.380 --> 00:20:38.420
to do Do you remember coming back into your body

00:20:38.420 --> 00:20:42.039
at all? I just like I said, I remember hearing

00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:45.259
people at first and then slowly cracking my groggy

00:20:45.259 --> 00:20:50.559
eyes and seeing my cousin and They were talking

00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:52.839
amongst themselves of right when I opened like

00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:54.579
I could hear them for probably a minute before

00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:57.859
I opened my eye She lost almost all of her blood.

00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:01.950
She's been out for several hours and my cousin

00:21:01.950 --> 00:21:04.109
saying, well, I got these pictures of the baby.

00:21:04.809 --> 00:21:07.589
And that was when I woke up when I looked at

00:21:07.589 --> 00:21:10.750
her and I said, where's my baby? Was she in the

00:21:10.750 --> 00:21:13.529
room with you or in the nursery? Well, he went

00:21:13.529 --> 00:21:16.750
to the NICU because he was incredibly premature.

00:21:17.089 --> 00:21:20.990
So she, when he was taken and I was under went

00:21:20.990 --> 00:21:24.430
to the NICU because she had been given pre -permission,

00:21:24.690 --> 00:21:27.259
pre -authorized by me. to be able to go there

00:21:27.259 --> 00:21:29.519
because I knew I would not be able to see his,

00:21:29.700 --> 00:21:31.680
I wouldn't be able to take any firstborn pictures.

00:21:31.720 --> 00:21:33.480
I wouldn't be able to do any of those things.

00:21:33.980 --> 00:21:37.519
And his dad, so he was my second husband. It

00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:39.299
was his firstborn child. So there was a lot of

00:21:39.299 --> 00:21:41.160
things he was really nervous about, but this

00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.559
was my cousin that was already a mom and was

00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:46.400
kind of like here, you know, I'll help out and

00:21:46.400 --> 00:21:49.680
kind of be there as a support person for you

00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:51.400
while we go through you having your first child

00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:53.380
and all these other traumatizing things that

00:21:53.380 --> 00:21:57.019
are happening. How premature was he? He was not

00:21:57.019 --> 00:21:59.099
actually supposed to be born until May and he

00:21:59.099 --> 00:22:01.960
was born in February. So three whole months.

00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:07.119
Yeah. Wow. Let's get to the tough stuff, which

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:10.519
is physical healing after something like that.

00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:15.160
How long were you in the hospital? Well, two

00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:17.940
and a half weeks total for me. For him, it was

00:22:17.940 --> 00:22:21.029
two and a half months. Yeah. He had to put on

00:22:21.029 --> 00:22:23.410
weight and he had to be able to breathe on his

00:22:23.410 --> 00:22:26.089
own and be willing to eat and all these different

00:22:26.089 --> 00:22:28.349
things that different premature babies have to

00:22:28.349 --> 00:22:33.509
meet. I already knew from my previous C -sections

00:22:33.509 --> 00:22:35.230
that there were a couple of things that were

00:22:35.230 --> 00:22:37.430
standard protocol that I would have to do despite

00:22:37.430 --> 00:22:40.630
the fact that I had had a hysterectomy. I had

00:22:40.630 --> 00:22:42.769
to have an emergency hysterectomy partial because

00:22:42.769 --> 00:22:45.130
of this, because the placenta growing through

00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:48.400
my uterus just mangled it. I couldn't live like

00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:54.680
that. So they had to take it and I had a really

00:22:54.680 --> 00:22:56.920
hard time for a while because they had a drainage

00:22:56.920 --> 00:22:58.940
tube in my side that didn't want to heal. It

00:22:58.940 --> 00:23:00.920
was very stubborn and they were afraid they were

00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:03.119
going to have to go back in and do more surgery

00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:05.420
to ensure that it was healing right. And I didn't

00:23:05.420 --> 00:23:10.339
just have this constant open wound. So that happening

00:23:10.339 --> 00:23:12.200
and I still knew I had to get out of the bed

00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:15.599
within 24 hours and do at least four walks rotations

00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.150
around the ward. um, in front of the nursing

00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:21.710
station because when you have abdominal surgery,

00:23:21.990 --> 00:23:25.670
all the gastric buildup can cause a lot of pressure

00:23:25.670 --> 00:23:29.009
that can, I don't want to be gross, but it can

00:23:29.009 --> 00:23:31.789
cause you a lot of problems with the incisions

00:23:31.789 --> 00:23:34.069
and healing and staples and things like that.

00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.970
So you have to get up to move to make sure that

00:23:37.970 --> 00:23:41.349
your bowels are moving to get all of that excess

00:23:41.349 --> 00:23:45.089
gastric gases out. So you don't have that problem.

00:23:45.470 --> 00:23:50.069
Of course, that hurts. It's very painful. I had

00:23:50.069 --> 00:23:53.849
the 25 blood transfusions that happened almost

00:23:53.849 --> 00:23:57.890
immediately. They started giving me that. After

00:23:57.890 --> 00:24:00.049
they did that and they thought that I was stabilized

00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:02.609
and they noticed that I still had the drainage

00:24:02.609 --> 00:24:05.329
tube problem with that wound, they had to give

00:24:05.329 --> 00:24:08.809
me an extra platelet baglet. It was just a transfusion

00:24:08.809 --> 00:24:10.809
of pure platelets, which is basically plasma.

00:24:11.269 --> 00:24:14.569
Then things did turn around. I was there for

00:24:14.569 --> 00:24:17.190
a while and I wasn't allowed to eat for three

00:24:17.190 --> 00:24:20.009
or four days. It felt like I was going through

00:24:20.009 --> 00:24:24.269
absolute H -E -L -L because I was seriously so

00:24:24.269 --> 00:24:27.670
parched that I was crying to my husband just

00:24:27.670 --> 00:24:30.250
to see if they'll let you give me some ice chips

00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:34.609
because I can't. I'm so dehydrated. This is horrible.

00:24:34.670 --> 00:24:36.190
And he's like, we're not supposed to give you

00:24:36.190 --> 00:24:42.150
anything. So it was challenging. And then I just

00:24:42.150 --> 00:24:45.539
kind of... Followed the advice of the doctors

00:24:45.539 --> 00:24:49.359
and nurses and did my best I think it was earlier

00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:51.599
that you and I were talking about some of the

00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:54.119
more detail about what happened during the surgery

00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:57.460
and How you lost all the blood so let's go ahead

00:24:57.460 --> 00:25:01.559
and go back into that for a minute Okay, so they

00:25:01.559 --> 00:25:04.119
had put in those balloons in an effort to try

00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:08.779
to prevent any hemorrhaging but When I was under

00:25:08.779 --> 00:25:11.579
evidently what occurred was they went ahead and

00:25:11.579 --> 00:25:14.299
they started to do the incision and there was

00:25:14.299 --> 00:25:18.740
such a mangled mess with the uterus that the

00:25:18.740 --> 00:25:21.700
blood flow just like it just The placenta and

00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:23.660
all of that blood that it had and was connected

00:25:23.660 --> 00:25:27.339
directly to me went everywhere they inflated

00:25:27.339 --> 00:25:31.920
the balloons and They did the emergency hysterectomy

00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:35.279
quickly to try to deal with that mess. It just

00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:39.220
was everywhere. I I guess it was like a horror

00:25:39.220 --> 00:25:43.680
scene on the table. I of course was under so

00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:47.259
I don't know more than what the doctors and my

00:25:47.259 --> 00:25:49.539
husband and my ex -husband and my cousin told

00:25:49.539 --> 00:25:53.680
me, but it was evidently just an instant waterfall

00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:56.900
of blood. It all just came gushing out and they

00:25:56.900 --> 00:25:59.980
were able because of all the prep that they did

00:25:59.980 --> 00:26:03.759
to keep me stabilized and immediately just started

00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:07.279
my transfusions. Yeah. You wouldn't have made

00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:09.920
it if they hadn't have done all that. Certainly.

00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:13.720
An experience like this changes people. How did

00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:16.720
you come away different from this? Before I had

00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:21.660
my NDE, I was a person that was incredibly anxious.

00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:24.480
Anxiety was a big problem of mine. I'm not going

00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:27.299
to say that it's totally gone away. I was very

00:26:27.299 --> 00:26:32.059
insecure. I had a very low caliber of confidence

00:26:32.059 --> 00:26:36.509
and faith in myself. Was living a half -life

00:26:36.509 --> 00:26:40.490
is how I feel after the near -death experience

00:26:40.490 --> 00:26:44.069
and I healed and I started to have some time

00:26:44.069 --> 00:26:47.390
to introspect and Meditate a little bit about

00:26:47.390 --> 00:26:49.369
what I had gone through what I seen and then

00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:51.349
I finally told people this is what happened to

00:26:51.349 --> 00:26:55.769
me while I was under and people were They were

00:26:55.769 --> 00:26:57.930
interested in hearing what I had to say. It started

00:26:57.930 --> 00:27:00.069
to really make me see that I had always been

00:27:00.069 --> 00:27:02.109
a writer I had done that, but I didn't share

00:27:02.109 --> 00:27:04.049
it. I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't

00:27:04.049 --> 00:27:06.589
believe in myself and I was actually incredibly

00:27:06.589 --> 00:27:10.230
talented. Now I'm a published author. I work

00:27:10.230 --> 00:27:13.029
on three podcasts as a creative lead. I guest

00:27:13.029 --> 00:27:16.349
on other people's podcasts all the time. I get

00:27:16.349 --> 00:27:19.309
to go and experience things and I'm blessed in

00:27:19.309 --> 00:27:23.529
a way that I had never believed I could be before.

00:27:24.130 --> 00:27:27.109
And I think that that was more or less just the

00:27:27.109 --> 00:27:31.549
recognition that This was my second chance. What

00:27:31.549 --> 00:27:35.630
can I do differently? And I was like Try a different

00:27:35.630 --> 00:27:38.789
method choose. You're hard. You've already tried

00:27:38.789 --> 00:27:40.789
this way and this is where it led and you almost

00:27:40.789 --> 00:27:45.369
died Try believing in yourself go out on a limb

00:27:45.369 --> 00:27:48.450
see what happens What kind of books do you write?

00:27:49.410 --> 00:27:52.670
I? Am a multi -genre author so I write a lot

00:27:52.670 --> 00:27:54.730
of different types, but what got me a foot in

00:27:54.730 --> 00:27:59.359
the door was romance since then I I've written

00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:05.359
my most recent book is a nonfiction and it is

00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:08.299
challenging the status quo 20 lessons on successful

00:28:08.299 --> 00:28:10.559
freelance ghostwriting because that's where my

00:28:10.559 --> 00:28:13.640
business really flourished. I have an LLC and

00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:16.599
I offer writing services in addition to being

00:28:16.599 --> 00:28:20.130
an author. And this has allowed me the opportunity

00:28:20.130 --> 00:28:23.569
to be an independent artist and to inspire people

00:28:23.569 --> 00:28:26.369
and make my own money, take my children to go

00:28:26.369 --> 00:28:29.269
see things and do things with them despite their

00:28:29.269 --> 00:28:32.450
limitations. I'm not rich and I'm constantly

00:28:32.450 --> 00:28:35.529
working towards my next endeavor, but I'm still

00:28:35.529 --> 00:28:39.549
blessed to be experiencing life on a level that

00:28:39.549 --> 00:28:43.109
I feel more of that joy and happiness. Well,

00:28:43.349 --> 00:28:46.990
congratulations on all of that. And on doing

00:28:46.990 --> 00:28:50.829
the hard things, I'm sure those young men of

00:28:50.829 --> 00:28:53.930
yours are absolutely wonderful. It doesn't mean

00:28:53.930 --> 00:28:57.170
it's not hard for you. It's definitely hard.

00:28:57.250 --> 00:28:59.170
I mean, and there are nine different types of

00:28:59.170 --> 00:29:01.190
muscular dystrophy, which is something people

00:29:01.190 --> 00:29:04.170
aren't that aware of unless they're usually a

00:29:04.170 --> 00:29:06.289
family member or they've been involved with people

00:29:06.289 --> 00:29:09.130
that have it. So people think muscular dystrophy

00:29:09.130 --> 00:29:11.170
and they think Jerry's kids and they think, you

00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:14.009
know, the shamrocks, which is all great. But

00:29:14.009 --> 00:29:16.480
you have to understand that they're not there's

00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:20.559
nine different types. And the two worst types

00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:24.119
that are one of the leading fatal diseases for

00:29:24.119 --> 00:29:28.059
pediatric death are Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:32.460
And second to that is Becker. So my sons happen

00:29:32.460 --> 00:29:36.619
to have the leading Duchenne, which is just horrible.

00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:39.019
And just the other day was World Duchenne Awareness

00:29:39.019 --> 00:29:41.460
Day. So this kind of aligns with that message,

00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:43.900
just knowing that it is, it's incredibly difficult,

00:29:43.900 --> 00:29:47.799
but they're Is two ways to do this you've you've

00:29:47.799 --> 00:29:50.279
got to find the strength within yourself to understand

00:29:50.279 --> 00:29:52.380
that if your children are diagnosed with something

00:29:52.380 --> 00:29:55.559
like that You know, this is a tragedy for all

00:29:55.559 --> 00:29:58.500
of you but it's mostly tragic for them because

00:29:58.500 --> 00:30:03.579
this is their direct lives and Knowing that they're

00:30:03.579 --> 00:30:05.680
not going to get to see adulthood the way that

00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.680
we expect that they will is something that's

00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:09.700
very challenging for most parents and it was

00:30:09.700 --> 00:30:12.619
for me to But then I stepped back and I realized

00:30:12.619 --> 00:30:15.680
I got to be strong for my kids This isn't about

00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:19.160
me. It does hurt because I'm their mother, but

00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:23.740
I've got to be strong enough to carry this and

00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:26.440
to be able to handle this without falling apart

00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.819
at the seams at every turn, because it is that

00:30:29.819 --> 00:30:31.880
kind of a disease and it does pull at your heartstrings

00:30:31.880 --> 00:30:35.059
like that. And you really have to sit back and

00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:38.039
go, who do I want to be in this and who do my

00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:41.059
children need from me? Let's wrap up with a couple

00:30:41.059 --> 00:30:44.640
of quick things. One is Do you have less fear

00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:48.240
of death now since you had this experience? I'm

00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:50.539
not out here looking for death just to be clear,

00:30:50.539 --> 00:30:53.779
but I am not afraid of death at all now What

00:30:53.779 --> 00:30:56.299
message do you have for somebody that may be

00:30:56.299 --> 00:30:59.099
afraid of death? How can you help calm their

00:30:59.099 --> 00:31:03.640
nerves about it a little bit? Well, it it doesn't

00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:07.539
hurt as much as I think that we feel that it

00:31:07.539 --> 00:31:09.500
might because of our fear of being separated

00:31:09.500 --> 00:31:13.299
from the body And I think when you come to understand

00:31:13.299 --> 00:31:17.579
that we are energy and that energy never dies,

00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:23.539
that that helps to bring some semblance of calm.

00:31:23.660 --> 00:31:26.500
That's how I thought about it when my dad passed

00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:28.680
away. You know, it was incredibly difficult and

00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:32.599
he died from a horrible disease. I had to watch

00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:34.700
him go through dialysis for several years before

00:31:34.700 --> 00:31:38.019
he passed and I'm the oldest daughter. So I was

00:31:38.019 --> 00:31:41.680
the one that was mainly there. I had to reflect

00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:45.680
on my experience and really just tell myself,

00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:47.279
I kept saying, I don't know what I'm going to

00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:49.619
do when my dad dies. And I didn't. I didn't.

00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:51.359
I don't think any of us really do, but you just

00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:53.559
figure it out as you go. That's what life is

00:31:53.559 --> 00:31:56.299
about learning and finding the ways to gracefully

00:31:56.299 --> 00:31:59.180
deal with what comes at us. And just like everything

00:31:59.180 --> 00:32:01.900
else, every bad thing you get through that you

00:32:01.900 --> 00:32:05.319
get through, you got through it. So my message

00:32:05.319 --> 00:32:10.119
would be is don't fear death. and thinking that

00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:14.579
you can't get through it. Lots of us have. So

00:32:14.579 --> 00:32:17.440
I appreciate your time, appreciate your insights

00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:20.079
and the things that you've been through and the

00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:24.599
things that you're doing. So keep in touch. For

00:32:24.599 --> 00:32:26.559
sure, Eric. I appreciate your time as well. Thank

00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:30.900
you for having me. Thanks again for listening

00:32:30.900 --> 00:32:33.339
and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit

00:32:33.339 --> 00:32:36.180
the follow or subscribe button and sign up for

00:32:36.180 --> 00:32:39.049
our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you

00:32:39.049 --> 00:32:41.609
want to share your near -death experience, or

00:32:41.609 --> 00:32:43.549
if you have questions or comments about the show,

00:32:44.049 --> 00:32:47.170
send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com.

00:32:47.490 --> 00:32:49.650
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're

00:32:49.650 --> 00:32:52.049
looking for in this life, and the next.