"I Met Love Itself" - Kara's NDE

WEBVTT

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From the time that they pronounced me dead was

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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled my heart, my heart stopped and I

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could see people screaming and crying but I didn't

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realize that was actually my physical body because

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I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could

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feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace,

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there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

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greeted by people I'd known in the past. I'm

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back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at

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home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody.

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And a warm welcome to our special guest today,

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Kara Marlene. Coming to us from Dallas. How is

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it in Dallas today, Kara? It's beautiful. Like

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we were talking about a little bit earlier, it's

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starting to cool down. So we're all outside with

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our dogs, our bikes and having a really good

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time. A little fall weather can be a good thing

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in Texas. Yes, for sure. Yeah, I've been there

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in the summer and I'm sorry you have to endure

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that. But lots of people love it there. And so

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that's fantastic. Anyway, before we jump into

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your NDE, and I think people are going to just

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love this. It's just such a beautiful, sweet.

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story that we're going to hear today. But tell

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us a little bit about you before. Who's Kara?

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Of course, my name is Kara Marlene. I come from

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a very small town in Kansas and didn't know much

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about that and then got into the big world, traveled

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around, wound up in Dallas. I am a creative by

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nature, so I sing and I write, did a little acting

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or whatnot, and found myself on this journey

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with love, and that's via a childhood NDE That's

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how we met, which I'm very grateful for. So are

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you going to sing for us today? If you all sing

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a little ditty for you, then it'd be fine. We

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can end with that if you want. That'd be cool.

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Okay, cool. Do you have one that goes with your

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experience? No, but I am writing. So the funny

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part about where my life is now, I'm a blues

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singer and classic country singer. And so, you

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know, lots of those, it's almost like a broken

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heart to a beat kind of thing. I found my love

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of writing with music is coming back. So there's

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actually, now that you mention it, I've got an

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EP of more bluesy things coming out. So I don't

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have anything with me because I don't have my

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guitarist or my backups, but you'll be the first

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one to know about it when it does come out. Send

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me a link. I'll stick it in the show notes. If

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anybody wants to hear the bluesy Kara, that'd

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be fun. I just think, wow, Andy, he's fit right

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in with that kind of stuff because it can be

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sad what happens you know before and for a lot

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of people it's a struggle afterwards and we'll

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talk about how you did afterwards but all right

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let's go back to when you were a little kid about

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eight years old what led up to the fateful day

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of the bike crash thank you for asking so I was

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just a normal eight -year -old on bikes outside

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with my little sister. I was raised, like I said,

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in a micro town. It's about 500 people in Kansas

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and on a ranch outside of that's where we had

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the home I grew up in. And I was outside, beautiful

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spring day. My older sisters were inside and

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one of them hollered for us to come in and I

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wanted to take one more round on my bike and

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my father owned a very large construction company.

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Next to the barn is a garage they called it the

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the tool shed and it had a water lip which is

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a cement block that kind of goes on the bottom

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of the garage door to keep the water out. I remember

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seeing this gouge in it and I thought that that

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would be a really good ramp because it looked

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you know like a ramp. So our house was on top

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of the hill I took off down towards that garage

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and I Hit that bump and I went over the handlebars

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because my bike just stopped That's like that

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split seconds when everything changed because

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as I lifted off the bike and the seconds between

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Lifting and hitting the ground my awareness just

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opened up full throttle It's almost like oneness

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and awareness just literally just and I didn't

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know that at the time that's what happened but

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that's what I know now today and it's like it

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encircled me in this bubble of protection and

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I hit the ground, but I heard it. It was almost

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so, it's so odd because I heard it. I know I

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hit the ground, but it's almost like I heard

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it from a distance. And I remember hearing myself

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crumble and kind of letting out a sigh and then

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just blacking out, I was gone. And I remember

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waking up on my back. And I could see the blinding

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light coming into the garage door and then the

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darkness around it. Immediately I knew something

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was terribly wrong because I could not, I couldn't

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move my body. Like it was like I was trapped

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in like a thousand pound weight but I could see

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and I could move my mouth. So I looked at the

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garage door again and the light and there was

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a figure there. I couldn't tell if it was female

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or male or what age it was but I thought it was

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my sister because my little sister was out there.

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She was like five or whatnot. I asked her, I

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was like or I told her I need help. I can't get

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up. There's something really wrong. Go get mom

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and dad. And the figure didn't move. And of course,

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I thought it was my sister. So I got upset and

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scared. And I got a little upset and said, mom

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and dad are gonna be so mad at you. I need help.

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Like you have to help me. Like go, go get help.

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And as I was... Speaking to her pleading with

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her my awareness kicked in and I was kind of

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taking in what was going on and I eventually

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like I stopped speaking and I remember Looking

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around at the darkness that like held that light

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the more I looked at it the more I realized it

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wasn't like the garage because she see the you

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should see the ceiling and the walls full of

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tools and things didn't see that what I saw was

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like space that darkness was like the blackness

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of space and it went on forever, but Immediately,

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I'm like, okay, if this is space, there's nothing

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there holding me. But there was, as grounded

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as I'm in this chair. And then I looked at the

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light streaming in and I tried to see past it,

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like it was sunlight or whatever, kind of focused

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my eyes. I should have seen like the sky, the

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cattle trailer, things like that. I couldn't

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see any of it. And all of a sudden it clicked

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that I wasn't in my family home anymore. And

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this light coming in was light in life itself

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and the darkness, the vastness of space was the

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space that holds that, like that void they sometimes

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call it. With that understanding, I looked at

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that figure again and I spoke to it and I said,

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am I dying? Am I dead? Is this heaven? And inside

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of me, I call it the dwelling space, but it's

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like this never -ending Cravasse of just love

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cracked open and it's like it filled everything.

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It's almost like it literally oneness with just

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love just poured not poured out of me. It's almost

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like it just opened up as I was like taking all

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of that in like just feeling the purest presence

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of love. I realized taking in the light and the

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dark and the love itself. I realized there was

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no fear. Like I didn't, I wasn't afraid of anything.

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It's almost like it couldn't even exist. I just

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honestly like basked in that for a while. As

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I took it all in, I looked back at that figure

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and for the first time I heard it speak to me,

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but with an inner voice. Like I didn't, I didn't

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hear it. It's like I heard it inside and it said,

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are you ready? In almost a few seconds, there

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was like a very small life review. Like dogs

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are okay, my family's okay. But the most... present

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realization was this is love and wherever it

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is taking me wherever it goes whatever it means

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I'm in and I said yes and so as I said yes I

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fell into that that love within that dwelling

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place and as I fell into that like body mind

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and soul it was getting darker and I remember

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there was a there's a space where like that Fear

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-free love existed and then fear could exist

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and we're crossing over that and that's when

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I was going back into my body. I woke up, oh

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gosh, hours later, speaking to my mom like I'm

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speaking to you and I stopped and I was like,

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Mom, what am I doing here? Where am I? Because

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I was on the couch. covered up. It had been a

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while because it was actually in the afternoon,

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like into the evening when I was on the couch

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and she was confused. She didn't know why I was

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asking all these questions and trying to tell

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her things about what happened. And so she left

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and I had a mirror in my hand. I remember seeing

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this part of my face, my little second -grader's

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face, and I tilted the mirror up and I remember

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just absolutely screaming because there was a

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contusion, a huge dark black contusion that had

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like bubbled out like if you took like a large

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lemon or an orange and you just cut it in half,

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it was like on a second -grader's head. I remember

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when my mother finally did like take me to the

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doctor, he was like, he was so mad. My mother

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had eight natural children and he was the one

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that took care of all of them and I never, I

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mean I was only eight, but I never from that...

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Point before and that after ever yelling at my

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mother and he was like you should never have

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waited You should have come immediately. I don't

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know what you were thinking Like um, she should

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be dead one and two she ever gets hit there like

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for the rest of her life She's like she's gone.

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She's dead. Like she shouldn't be here cut. Anyhow

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after that my life turned into this Beautiful

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love story with me in the divine. I call the

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vine God guy Whatever you want to call it. I

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call it love and this unrelenting pursuit of

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love in my life Okay let's take a break there

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I want to dig into some of this I want to ask

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you a bunch of questions and then we'll move

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forward with how your life changed. Well I'm

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not sure where to start but one of the things

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is did you have any kind of feeling for this

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figure as you called it or a personage or whatever

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what did it look like did you have any feeling

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for who maybe it was? I'm so glad you asked that

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because that took me years to really kind of

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vet out and the feeling was it was so familiar

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that I didn't doubt that I was unsafe. You know,

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I never doubted I was safe because the light

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coming in was so blinding. I couldn't tell if

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it was female or male, but I know it wasn't like

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an angel. It wasn't it wasn't an alien. I don't

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believe it was a guide. A lot of times people

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see that like guides or whatnot on their way,

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and it wasn't like a family member, right? What

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I believe happened is that having a narrative

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experience and walking the path that I've had

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with love, I believe love meets us with exactly

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what we need. at that time. And so I believe

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that it was love itself taking a blurred form,

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familiar enough for me to speak to it and not

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be afraid and whatnot, but also reach me at eight

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years old, have such a defining, beautiful connection

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with it. And the reason I say that is because

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I don't actually, I don't... Connect with like

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guides or Family members like it wasn't a grandmother.

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I had passed it wasn't like anything like that

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I don't actually connect with that like I've

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never had that as a guide in my life. I've always

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just had like very Tangible moments with love

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itself, and maybe that's confusing for some people

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But that's the only way I can explain it because

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it was like I said it was familiar enough To

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where I wasn't afraid, but it wasn't someone

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else or something else and so I believe that

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it was love showing up Wow, yeah, but in some

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kind of a figure so an eight -year -old could

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relate to it as if it was a person Yeah, versus

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if it was a blur or a blip or whatever you may

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not have talked to it, right? Yeah, cool All

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right. I want to talk about this love and fear

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Two words that you used you talked about the

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lack of fear, but why I mean what a love and

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fear have to do with each other. What do you

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think? I believe that there is an option of fear

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in the human form and I believe outside of that

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like let's say when I transition because this

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is my experience when I transition out of this

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after this body dies I believe we I walk into

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the purest presence of love itself like in the

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afterlife whatever form that some people will

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know heaven some people will know other worlds

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or whatnot and I believe there is an option for

00:12:58.250 --> 00:13:01.649
allowing fear or love to run your life. So we

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all know like healthy fear, right? Like we know

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the healthy fear that keeps us alive. You know,

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that's, you know, don't go pet an alligator.

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That's something that you shouldn't be doing.

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Good example. I don't know where that came from.

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I'm sorry, I have no idea. But what I found on

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my journey is that I could either give in to

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fear or doubt. So everything that comes from

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love, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

00:13:24.379 --> 00:13:25.820
goodness, gentleness, face and self -control

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are all really great little flowers from like

00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:31.299
the love garden, right? That's kind of how I

00:13:31.299 --> 00:13:33.399
see it. But then there's fear and there's like

00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:36.679
doubt and lack and scarcity and whatnot. And

00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:40.799
so I believe that outside of this, we have this

00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:42.759
world or this life, we have honestly nothing

00:13:42.759 --> 00:13:47.409
but. love, but here in this life we have the

00:13:47.409 --> 00:13:51.409
opportunity to know the opposition of love, which

00:13:51.409 --> 00:13:56.809
is fear, and we can choose to have a love -based

00:13:57.699 --> 00:14:00.440
Existence, it's almost like when people, I was

00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:02.899
raised Christian, when they says heaven come

00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:05.700
down or like bring heaven down. I think that

00:14:05.700 --> 00:14:07.899
we can live that existence now because a lot

00:14:07.899 --> 00:14:10.320
of times I was taught that heaven comes later

00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:12.100
we just have to kind of like suffer to be here

00:14:12.100 --> 00:14:13.659
and I was like I just don't think so. Like I

00:14:13.659 --> 00:14:16.919
think that there is an option to live through

00:14:16.919 --> 00:14:20.259
love, live in love and the opposition of love

00:14:20.259 --> 00:14:23.019
is fear and I think that that gives us a beautiful

00:14:23.019 --> 00:14:26.539
experience here in the human form for me anyway.

00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:29.960
allow that to happen every day because I wouldn't

00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:32.720
necessarily know the depth, the breadth, the

00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:36.620
width and the height of how beautiful love is

00:14:36.620 --> 00:14:42.220
without the opposition available to me. So it's

00:14:42.220 --> 00:14:44.980
like balancing the dichotomy in my personal opinion

00:14:44.980 --> 00:14:48.620
of living as a human and having that opportunity.

00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:51.799
I think you summarized and explained that so

00:14:51.799 --> 00:14:54.700
well. And that was a little bit of what I was

00:14:54.700 --> 00:14:57.490
going to talk about if you didn't, but As I've

00:14:57.490 --> 00:14:59.850
interviewed hundreds of people that have had

00:14:59.850 --> 00:15:02.529
experiences like this, well like this, they're

00:15:02.529 --> 00:15:06.409
all different but NDE type experiences, one of

00:15:06.409 --> 00:15:08.970
the things that I've learned is that love and

00:15:08.970 --> 00:15:12.850
fear are opposite emotions. And if they're opposite,

00:15:13.250 --> 00:15:16.190
can they exist in the same place at the same

00:15:16.190 --> 00:15:20.289
time? Probably not. And you also mentioned doubt,

00:15:20.370 --> 00:15:23.029
fear and doubt go hand in hand, both negative

00:15:23.029 --> 00:15:27.379
emotions. But when people say they feel Love,

00:15:27.580 --> 00:15:33.159
peace, joy. They're not feeling fear. I believe

00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:36.480
that's because they're opposites. And if you're

00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:40.399
in a place of love, you don't feel fear and doubt.

00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:44.360
The love just overcomes it. It's such a strong

00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:47.759
emotion, obviously. And then we could go further

00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:51.879
down that road with people who believe in God,

00:15:52.340 --> 00:15:55.610
whatever form they believe in. God is love, okay?

00:15:55.990 --> 00:15:58.929
Now, I'm not saying that you saw love, I'm not

00:15:58.929 --> 00:16:02.269
saying you saw God, I'm just saying the best

00:16:02.269 --> 00:16:07.090
definition of God is love, because whatever form

00:16:07.090 --> 00:16:11.649
of being you believe in, that is the overwhelming

00:16:11.649 --> 00:16:14.710
definition that always comes out. The overwhelming

00:16:14.710 --> 00:16:17.929
feeling that people have when they're around

00:16:17.929 --> 00:16:22.600
that being is love, it's not fear. Some of our

00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:25.559
scripture is written to make it sound like we

00:16:25.559 --> 00:16:30.240
need to be fearful, but we don't. Okay, I didn't

00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:32.299
want to go too far down that road, but thank

00:16:32.299 --> 00:16:34.940
you. You did a fantastic job with it. Leslie,

00:16:34.940 --> 00:16:37.720
you mentioned a very brief life review. Is there

00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:40.279
anything else you can tell us about that? No,

00:16:40.279 --> 00:16:43.519
I mean as an eight -year -old, no. My, I think

00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:45.740
because it was a childhood near to the experience,

00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:50.419
it was as un... filtered as possible. Like it

00:16:50.419 --> 00:16:54.639
was just so raw, it was so real. I mean it was

00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:58.679
like my dogs, because I love my dogs and whatnot,

00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:00.860
my animals, I knew my little sister was safe

00:17:00.860 --> 00:17:03.279
of course in that situation and then like my

00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:06.259
family was okay. It was just so short and I had

00:17:06.259 --> 00:17:09.839
such, so little to worry about, you know, I think

00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:15.109
that it was just okay, that's where I was. And

00:17:15.109 --> 00:17:18.990
that's okay. This is what happens after we die,

00:17:19.109 --> 00:17:23.289
right? And this is my form of heaven and it is

00:17:23.289 --> 00:17:25.710
love itself. I'm like, they told me so, okay,

00:17:26.509 --> 00:17:28.990
like what's next? Wherever that love takes me,

00:17:29.089 --> 00:17:30.569
wherever that love goes. Cause I didn't think

00:17:30.569 --> 00:17:32.109
I was coming back. I didn't even think about

00:17:32.109 --> 00:17:34.210
that. Like it was just, I was just following

00:17:34.210 --> 00:17:37.569
that love within. Like it could have popped me

00:17:37.569 --> 00:17:39.769
out on Mars. I don't know. I would have been

00:17:39.769 --> 00:17:41.940
fine with it. Like it was just. It was lovely.

00:17:42.460 --> 00:17:45.019
So, yeah, the life review was so very little,

00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:47.980
so very short, but so focused on that experience

00:17:47.980 --> 00:17:51.119
with love. You were only eight years old. Yeah.

00:17:51.299 --> 00:17:55.200
Yeah. How much can there be? Yeah. How much can

00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:59.380
there be to learn from? OK, I'm surprised when

00:17:59.380 --> 00:18:03.019
this, I'm going to use your terms, this figure

00:18:03.019 --> 00:18:06.299
asked if you were ready. Did that mean ready

00:18:06.299 --> 00:18:10.619
to what? See, that's the thing. It just said,

00:18:10.700 --> 00:18:14.279
are you ready? And the feeling inside the thought

00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:17.460
was follow me. Like it was, are you, it was just

00:18:17.460 --> 00:18:18.920
like, are you, are you ready to follow me? Cause

00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:20.559
it didn't say, oh, are you ready to go back?

00:18:20.619 --> 00:18:22.059
Are you? Cause a lot of, you know, sometimes

00:18:22.059 --> 00:18:23.559
like Indies are like, okay, you're going, you're

00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:26.819
going back or you're going forward. It was, it

00:18:26.819 --> 00:18:30.079
was literally as if it was just, are you ready

00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.539
to be with me? Are you ready to follow me? Cause

00:18:32.539 --> 00:18:36.599
it was, it was just so focused on. On that connection

00:18:36.599 --> 00:18:39.119
with with love and so i think that's why i was

00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:41.160
just like okay yeah like wherever this is going

00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:43.880
i'm with you yeah i'm surprised you came back

00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:48.960
after that me too i almost wonder if there's

00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:52.319
a piece in there that's missing from your memory

00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:54.599
that maybe you're gonna remember someday that's

00:18:54.599 --> 00:18:56.420
so funny you bring that up i'm so glad you did

00:18:56.420 --> 00:18:57.980
eric because someone else brought that up on

00:18:57.980 --> 00:18:59.859
a podcast there like there was a space there

00:18:59.859 --> 00:19:03.559
was a there was hours actually. My little sister

00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:06.640
went inside and of course she was just beside

00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:08.579
herself. She ran into where my mother and my

00:19:08.579 --> 00:19:11.079
sisters were cleaning and she said, the car is

00:19:11.079 --> 00:19:12.980
dead. The car needs help. Like you have to go

00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:15.059
help her. She literally used those words. Like

00:19:15.059 --> 00:19:16.940
my older sister said, yeah, she just kept saying

00:19:16.940 --> 00:19:18.960
you were dead. And so we just laughed and just

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:21.079
kept cleaning because we thought she was joking.

00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:24.900
And she, they found her literally later in her

00:19:24.900 --> 00:19:27.279
room, like on the floor crying, like because

00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:29.339
they just didn't, you know, I mean, my mother

00:19:29.339 --> 00:19:31.519
had eight children. Like, what are you? or a

00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:34.119
farm like things happen and kids are kids there

00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:37.079
were hours like in between there that I could

00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:40.640
have gone somewhere had an experience and then

00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.980
was sent back and just didn't necessarily need

00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:47.359
to be something in my memory this this lifetime

00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:49.880
or all maybe I'll find it in a meditation later

00:19:49.880 --> 00:19:52.420
on but it had to have been beautiful it had to

00:19:52.420 --> 00:19:56.559
have been an absolute glorious situation because

00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:58.740
when I came back I was nothing but love walking

00:19:58.740 --> 00:20:01.910
it was just beautiful Yeah, I think that's very

00:20:01.910 --> 00:20:05.289
likely. Yeah. Because it would be really unusual

00:20:05.289 --> 00:20:09.230
to be going with that being and then all of a

00:20:09.230 --> 00:20:11.569
sudden you're back. It's just like there's a

00:20:11.569 --> 00:20:13.849
piece of that puzzle missing and that's okay.

00:20:14.029 --> 00:20:16.369
These things don't always all come back at one

00:20:16.369 --> 00:20:19.349
time. That doesn't mean it's any less real or

00:20:19.349 --> 00:20:21.670
anything like that. So that's something maybe

00:20:21.670 --> 00:20:23.970
you have to look forward to, to learning more

00:20:23.970 --> 00:20:27.950
about it as things go on. All right, let's talk

00:20:27.950 --> 00:20:31.599
about You're back. You're at the doctor. Give

00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:34.220
me an idea of first physically of all the injuries

00:20:34.220 --> 00:20:37.319
that are going on and how you recovered and Then

00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:39.819
let's talk about where we left off. How did your

00:20:39.819 --> 00:20:43.559
life change from that point on? I had the blunt

00:20:43.559 --> 00:20:46.599
force trauma to my right temporal lobe and I

00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:49.279
was on I mean, they wouldn't let me do anything

00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:52.220
No, they couldn't like I couldn't play really

00:20:52.220 --> 00:20:56.220
and I was like such a social butterfly and I

00:20:56.220 --> 00:21:01.839
remember My second grade teacher, Mrs. Durier.

00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:04.619
Like she was like, bouffant hair. When she walks,

00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:06.799
she kind of like this little head thing. It's

00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:08.799
so funny. And she was just the sweetest, kindest,

00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:12.519
most, you know, gentle spoken person. And I remember

00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:15.420
I was in class. It was my cousin, maybe it was

00:21:15.420 --> 00:21:17.740
my cousin Jeremiah or my friend Clay, and they

00:21:17.740 --> 00:21:19.859
did a cartwheel. And so without thinking, I did

00:21:19.859 --> 00:21:22.299
a cartwheel too. And I got really, like I was

00:21:22.299 --> 00:21:25.819
really dizzy and like I fell off the floor. Mrs.

00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.019
Durier. She lit into me and of course she made

00:21:30.019 --> 00:21:32.940
sure I was okay, got ice and whatnot. But she

00:21:32.940 --> 00:21:36.819
stapled this note of my sweater or my shirt going

00:21:36.819 --> 00:21:40.400
home just to make sure that my mom knew. She's

00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:42.799
like, Kara, I did a car wheel. I want you to

00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:45.839
know I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching it. So I

00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:49.640
was on lockdown basically until they knew I was

00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:54.089
okay. With the injury. It is such a stark difference,

00:21:54.230 --> 00:21:59.029
starting in third grade, because I was an excellent

00:21:59.029 --> 00:22:01.369
student. But in third grade, so I was on second

00:22:01.369 --> 00:22:04.529
grade, then third grade on, my grades dropped.

00:22:05.109 --> 00:22:08.630
I was so funny, I remember going through them,

00:22:08.630 --> 00:22:09.789
I don't know, in college or something like that,

00:22:09.849 --> 00:22:12.069
I was like, what is going on? And I put two and

00:22:12.069 --> 00:22:16.690
two together. So the injury took a lot of my

00:22:16.690 --> 00:22:20.420
reading comprehension. and my math skills. I

00:22:20.420 --> 00:22:22.900
could still do that, but I'm an audio learner.

00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:25.140
My mother said, she's like, you never brought

00:22:25.140 --> 00:22:26.740
home any books. And she's like, I never really

00:22:26.740 --> 00:22:29.680
understood why. And it's just because I heard

00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:32.920
what you were saying and what I retained, I got

00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:35.140
right. But they never really put the two together

00:22:35.140 --> 00:22:36.799
to help the correct way until I actually was

00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:39.359
in college. So moving forward, that's really

00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:43.349
the only. followed I had from it but like spiritually

00:22:43.349 --> 00:22:46.990
and personally like I was like I said I was like

00:22:46.990 --> 00:22:51.750
walking love I was always a social butterfly

00:22:51.750 --> 00:22:54.069
my mother put me in school early because she's

00:22:54.069 --> 00:22:55.609
like you're you were ready so I was like young

00:22:55.609 --> 00:22:58.089
for my age yeah like a year almost younger than

00:22:58.089 --> 00:23:02.170
everybody I had a very deep connection with nature

00:23:02.170 --> 00:23:04.869
with specifically animals I love being outside

00:23:04.869 --> 00:23:08.289
the only way I can explain it is that being outside

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:10.680
in nature because I was raised in a ranch like

00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:12.599
there's nothing around there's no city and it's

00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:15.240
just obviously it was almost like that was the

00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:19.099
only place my soul fit because the oneness that

00:23:19.099 --> 00:23:21.440
I had experienced that was obviously so vast

00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:24.920
I mean like I it's like basically love just opened

00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:27.259
up and it's like never ending now like it just

00:23:27.259 --> 00:23:29.900
kind of felt like underneath the stars in the

00:23:29.900 --> 00:23:34.660
sky really I could just breathe then connecting

00:23:34.660 --> 00:23:37.180
with people specifically I was already socially

00:23:37.180 --> 00:23:39.980
a bubble but like I wanted to love everybody.

00:23:40.140 --> 00:23:42.460
I wanted to tell them about love. I wanted to

00:23:42.460 --> 00:23:44.099
share that with them. I wanted to be their friend.

00:23:44.539 --> 00:23:46.579
I didn't understand why there was conflict. Why

00:23:46.579 --> 00:23:49.759
are we arguing and whatnot? Why can't we get

00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:53.039
along? Love is everywhere. Can't you see it kind

00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:56.660
of thing. Moving forward, that was a little bit

00:23:56.660 --> 00:24:02.059
of a challenge to balance, but because I had

00:24:02.059 --> 00:24:07.880
such a unique experience with love and I... basically

00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:11.940
after that developed this beautiful relationship

00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:16.599
with love. So anytime that I had a challenge

00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:20.119
like my family home wasn't supportive and so

00:24:20.119 --> 00:24:23.079
I felt I felt myself alone a lot and that gave

00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:25.619
me time to meditate and pray and I found that

00:24:25.619 --> 00:24:27.640
helped my connection with love and it turned

00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.140
into I would be in stillness and then I would

00:24:30.190 --> 00:24:31.990
meditate and breathe like breath work and stuff.

00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:35.390
So anyway, what could have been a negative in

00:24:35.390 --> 00:24:37.650
the isolation actually turned out to be a beautiful

00:24:37.650 --> 00:24:41.289
positive because I've just got this amazing connection

00:24:41.289 --> 00:24:43.849
with the divine that I've developed since a child.

00:24:43.930 --> 00:24:46.650
And so it's actually it's easier for me to kind

00:24:46.650 --> 00:24:49.619
of slip into that dwelling place. ask questions

00:24:49.619 --> 00:24:52.140
and find answers and whatnot. Some of the connections

00:24:52.140 --> 00:24:53.859
that I have, I call them the fingerprints of

00:24:53.859 --> 00:24:57.140
love, like those undeniable moments where like

00:24:57.140 --> 00:25:00.039
love shows up and that inner voice is developed

00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:02.960
with that relationship with love. I had like

00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.839
premonitions of the deaths of loved ones when

00:25:04.839 --> 00:25:08.259
I was growing up, three of them. had an experience

00:25:08.259 --> 00:25:11.019
with a cow. I know that sounds funny, but I knew

00:25:11.019 --> 00:25:12.900
she was going to die and no one else believed

00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:15.599
me. Like she was in labor and it was going poorly

00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.799
and they're like, oh, just let her let her alone.

00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:20.519
Anyway, long story short, I knew that was going

00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:22.859
to happen. And that was the first one. And it

00:25:22.859 --> 00:25:27.180
led into my grandmother's passing, a family friend,

00:25:27.380 --> 00:25:30.380
and then a brother -in -law. And I knew beforehand.

00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:32.799
And it was because the inner voice showed up

00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:35.140
like love was like, it's grandma, you should

00:25:35.140 --> 00:25:37.509
say goodbye to her and then it was Jenny and

00:25:37.509 --> 00:25:40.470
then of course my brother and again though each

00:25:40.470 --> 00:25:44.210
time this happened it was just a deeper solidification

00:25:44.210 --> 00:25:48.250
of that connection with love and there were other

00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:49.970
moments a few other moments where they were like

00:25:49.970 --> 00:25:52.549
now I know there are many like energetic healings

00:25:52.549 --> 00:25:56.430
that was beautiful because that started my journey

00:25:56.430 --> 00:25:58.450
because it was before I graduated high school

00:25:58.450 --> 00:26:01.869
that it kind of set me off into the world with.

00:26:02.119 --> 00:26:05.180
Did all of that love also open you up to some

00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:09.680
hurt? Gosh, thank you for asking that. Yes, because

00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:12.839
they didn't have my eyes to see and my ears to

00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:14.559
hear. They didn't have that experience with love.

00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:19.289
It really, I could not understand. how they function,

00:26:19.390 --> 00:26:22.109
the way they function, why they were so distant

00:26:22.109 --> 00:26:25.750
or hurtful. Being an empath, of course, I know

00:26:25.750 --> 00:26:28.109
that word now, but I didn't know that then. That

00:26:28.109 --> 00:26:31.509
experience made me just like a fully open empath.

00:26:31.589 --> 00:26:33.529
I was feeling their emotions and so I was trying

00:26:33.529 --> 00:26:35.410
to help them because I was like, oh no, like

00:26:35.410 --> 00:26:38.210
if you feel like this, let me help you, let me

00:26:38.210 --> 00:26:41.049
introduce you. And then it just, it really was

00:26:41.049 --> 00:26:44.390
very difficult. And I went on a journey after

00:26:44.390 --> 00:26:47.619
high school, coming back to understanding. That

00:26:47.619 --> 00:26:50.940
that was why but yes, it was very difficult Yeah,

00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:53.900
I heard something funny recently just somebody

00:26:53.900 --> 00:26:56.059
else that I interviewed a couple of days ago

00:26:56.059 --> 00:26:57.779
And I don't know if her episode is gonna come

00:26:57.779 --> 00:27:01.059
out before or after yours It doesn't matter but

00:27:01.059 --> 00:27:05.000
she had her experience as an adult and it made

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.380
her feel all this abundance of love Not just

00:27:09.380 --> 00:27:11.940
around her but for everybody and for all these

00:27:11.940 --> 00:27:14.259
people she was saying it kind of screwed up her

00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:18.140
dating life because she would like See all the

00:27:18.140 --> 00:27:21.279
good and fall in love with nearly every guy and

00:27:21.279 --> 00:27:25.039
sometimes just tell him and it didn't go so well.

00:27:26.359 --> 00:27:30.619
Poor soul. What a sweetheart. But what a wonderful

00:27:30.619 --> 00:27:32.900
thing. You know, what a wonderful problem to

00:27:32.900 --> 00:27:36.900
have to love people too much. Absolutely. All

00:27:36.900 --> 00:27:38.980
right. Before we let you go, I just wanted to

00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:41.180
mention you've got a book out called meant for

00:27:41.180 --> 00:27:44.630
miracles. I can't wait to read it. I have a feeling

00:27:44.630 --> 00:27:47.210
it's a beautiful story, but I haven't read it

00:27:47.210 --> 00:27:50.170
yet. So anyway, we'll figure that one out. We'll

00:27:50.170 --> 00:27:52.410
talk later. So we mentioned your book, you have

00:27:52.410 --> 00:27:56.329
a conference coming up too? I do. Yes. So this

00:27:56.329 --> 00:27:58.369
is a little flyer for it. It's called the Truth

00:27:58.369 --> 00:28:01.069
Tellers Conference. It's going to be hosted here

00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:04.069
in Dallas, Texas. The keynotes I have are Scott

00:28:04.069 --> 00:28:06.609
Drummond, Benny Tolman, Jeff Olson, and Barbara

00:28:06.609 --> 00:28:09.569
Bartolome and myself will all be speaking. What

00:28:09.569 --> 00:28:13.690
I wanted to do is I On my journey, I realized

00:28:13.690 --> 00:28:19.190
that it was honestly in the chaos of COVID. We

00:28:19.190 --> 00:28:21.390
were all working through things. We all kind

00:28:21.390 --> 00:28:23.890
of had a spiritual awakening at one time, I believe.

00:28:24.410 --> 00:28:29.130
But I realized the perspective of my life and

00:28:29.130 --> 00:28:33.869
what my truth was, what my life was. And so I

00:28:33.869 --> 00:28:36.589
couldn't help but... be overwhelmed by how transformed

00:28:36.589 --> 00:28:39.569
I was from that. And when I started writing my

00:28:39.569 --> 00:28:41.609
book and then speaking about it at all these

00:28:41.609 --> 00:28:44.109
conferences and then the podcasts, I was transformed

00:28:44.109 --> 00:28:46.390
and I'm finding other people who are transformed

00:28:46.390 --> 00:28:49.789
by just sharing our truths, right? And so the

00:28:49.789 --> 00:28:52.069
Truth Tellers Conference is where truth and transformation

00:28:52.069 --> 00:28:56.670
happen. I wanted to bring people together that

00:28:56.670 --> 00:28:59.750
feels like coming home, not just... with each

00:28:59.750 --> 00:29:01.809
other because we love each other, but to yourself,

00:29:02.210 --> 00:29:04.710
to know your truth, to own your truth and to

00:29:04.710 --> 00:29:07.690
be inspired by these stories that the people

00:29:07.690 --> 00:29:11.630
have near -death experiences and miraculous healings

00:29:11.630 --> 00:29:16.049
and whatnot. It is an opportunity to be with

00:29:16.049 --> 00:29:19.150
others like you who may be on the journey of

00:29:19.150 --> 00:29:21.410
finding out what your truth is or are literally

00:29:21.410 --> 00:29:24.869
speaking your truth and you can find others to

00:29:24.869 --> 00:29:28.990
just... be with, to connect with. And I really,

00:29:29.130 --> 00:29:31.309
I wanted that and it's coming together beautifully.

00:29:31.809 --> 00:29:35.210
So it's Dallas, Texas, February 20th through

00:29:35.210 --> 00:29:39.470
the 21st in 2026. My website is caramarleen .com

00:29:39.470 --> 00:29:41.430
and the Truth Tellers conference is up there.

00:29:41.490 --> 00:29:43.829
You can click on it. I'm doing an early bird

00:29:43.829 --> 00:29:48.130
special for $129, but also an Erica special promo

00:29:48.130 --> 00:29:52.089
that you can get discount code for 30 more dollars

00:29:52.089 --> 00:29:55.369
off. So the general admission would be $99 and

00:29:55.369 --> 00:29:58.109
the VIP would be $200. Great. We'll stick a link

00:29:58.109 --> 00:30:00.329
in the show notes for everybody. I would love

00:30:00.329 --> 00:30:02.549
you to leave everybody with some kind of a message

00:30:02.549 --> 00:30:06.029
of hope today. Okay. I love this because I cry

00:30:06.029 --> 00:30:09.119
every time. I want everyone if I could just leave

00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:11.099
everyone with something is that I want you to

00:30:11.099 --> 00:30:13.579
understand how miraculous and magical you are.

00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:19.799
On my journey after I really understood what

00:30:19.799 --> 00:30:23.779
happened to me and everything made sense like

00:30:23.779 --> 00:30:25.759
looking back from the near the experience and

00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:27.700
all these other moments with the divine with

00:30:27.700 --> 00:30:34.680
love I really dove deep into the miraculous of

00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:37.299
life itself and I want everyone to understand

00:30:37.299 --> 00:30:40.220
you are a walking miracle like you were meant

00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:42.799
for miracles like this entire universe from the

00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:47.519
fact that we are in a galaxy right in a universe

00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:51.319
we're the only place with life that the odds

00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:54.119
of that statistically is outrageous like it's

00:30:54.119 --> 00:30:56.420
literally miraculous and then the fact that you're

00:30:56.420 --> 00:30:59.220
here listening to this like it's 14 trillion

00:30:59.220 --> 00:31:01.319
to one that you're here anyway and that goes

00:31:01.319 --> 00:31:06.319
up exponentially just every moment you're here

00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:11.960
and I hope that by you listening to this podcast,

00:31:12.299 --> 00:31:15.279
hopefully it hits home that you are like you

00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:17.119
are meant for miracles because everything here

00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:19.259
is a miracle and love holds it all together and

00:31:19.259 --> 00:31:22.779
it wants a connection with you and that you are

00:31:22.779 --> 00:31:27.579
here for a reason and whether you are on your

00:31:27.579 --> 00:31:29.900
path and you're living your best life or you're

00:31:29.900 --> 00:31:33.220
in a situation where you maybe question things

00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:35.819
or you're looking or whatnot either way I want

00:31:35.819 --> 00:31:39.549
to remind you how beautiful you are and and how

00:31:39.549 --> 00:31:44.829
strong that love wants you to know that and that

00:31:44.829 --> 00:31:47.630
it set this entire world up to keep reminding

00:31:47.630 --> 00:31:50.170
you. And so I hope you have the eyes to see that

00:31:50.170 --> 00:31:52.690
and the ears to hear that and the heart to understand

00:31:52.690 --> 00:31:58.529
and the sound mind that it is your birthright

00:31:58.529 --> 00:32:00.990
to live a free life. And it is just literally

00:32:00.990 --> 00:32:04.369
like a breath away. And I'm so glad you're here.

00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:07.819
That was so beautiful. Kara, Marlene, thank you

00:32:07.819 --> 00:32:12.619
so much. You're welcome. Thanks again for listening

00:32:12.619 --> 00:32:15.079
and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit

00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:17.900
the follow or subscribe button and sign up for

00:32:17.900 --> 00:32:20.799
our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you

00:32:20.799 --> 00:32:23.299
want to share your near -death experience or

00:32:23.299 --> 00:32:25.319
if you have questions or comments about the show,

00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:28.900
send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com.

00:32:29.160 --> 00:32:31.359
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're

00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:33.799
looking for in this life and the next.