Transcript
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,880
One of life's greatest questions is what happens to us after we die?
2
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:12,760
Is death the end or a new beginning?
3
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,880
Welcome to the Round Trip Death podcast.
4
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:19,460
In this show, we listen to firsthand accounts of people who have gone beyond the veil and
5
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:22,560
return to talk about it.
6
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:30,080
Okay, everybody, welcome to Round Trip Death and I'd like to welcome our special guest
7
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,040
today, Jay Martin from Columbus, Ohio.
8
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,520
Jay, good morning.
9
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,520
Good morning.
10
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,520
Thank you for having me.
11
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,520
I'm very, very happy.
12
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,160
I appreciate this.
13
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:45,040
You are very welcome and to our listeners, I should say good afternoon, good evening,
14
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,880
whatever time of day it happens to be that they're listening.
15
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:53,760
We're so glad everybody is tuning in and we're glad to have you here, Jay.
16
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:54,760
Thank you.
17
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:55,760
Thank you again.
18
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,400
Hey, Jay, tell us a little bit about you.
19
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,400
Well, I am 46 years young.
20
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:09,560
I just turned 46 on the 16th of February.
21
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,000
I have five children.
22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:20,120
Four of my children are adults and I have a three year old, so that was kind of a shock
23
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,120
to us.
24
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,920
You know, it's 19 years later, you know.
25
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,680
That's an awesome shock though.
26
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:28,680
That's okay.
27
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:29,680
Yes, it is.
28
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,680
She's beautiful.
29
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:37,800
I have a border raised on the South Side of Chicago in Inglewood.
30
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:42,400
My parents are very loving, very loving.
31
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:49,320
You know, grew up in like, I want to say mixed emotions type environment, you know, where
32
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:56,240
there's a lot of love in the home, but on the outside of the home, there's a lot of
33
00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:05,080
like, we'll say, crime, violence, you know, somewhat, you know, but with this border family
34
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,760
made it through it, you know.
35
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:13,720
My dad was, I grew up in the 80s, of course, so more than 77, grew up in the 80s.
36
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:20,400
My dad was a drug dealer, a band that was pretty common for people around that time
37
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,240
on the South Side.
38
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:35,840
I was privy to a lot of shootouts, fights, drug deals, police raids, hall raids.
39
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:42,520
When you say privy to, is that sort of a sarcastic way of dealing with really tough things like
40
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,520
that?
41
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,520
Yeah.
42
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,000
Yeah, you know, it was, you know, when I was young, it didn't really, I mean, it didn't
43
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:54,080
really bother me because I was a kid, you know, you know, playing around with my siblings
44
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,200
and everything.
45
00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:00,680
Even the police raids, when they raided the home, it didn't bother me.
46
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,520
As a kid, you're scared for a certain period of time, but after a while, you just kind
47
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,520
of get used to it.
48
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,480
Some people are like, well, do you get used to that?
49
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,520
It just is what it is, you know.
50
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:18,480
We were pretty much, you know, lived a life of, even though that was going on, we were
51
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,880
still able to get some of the things that we wanted as a kid.
52
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:26,200
And I was pretty spoiled, you know, I didn't go without.
53
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:32,000
But my mom, she wanted different from us, so she was about to move us to the projects.
54
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,880
If you heard the projects in Chicago, they are pretty bad.
55
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,040
They pretty much tore them down now, but they were pretty bad.
56
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:47,760
And my grandmother, my mom's mom, she didn't want us to move to the projects, so she purchased
57
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:52,160
a home about several blocks from where we were.
58
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:57,840
So we moved there, had different environment, a little bit different.
59
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:05,640
I had to adjust to my mom's side of the family now at that time, you know, which was, they
60
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:12,280
were religious fun, not like my other family, it was fun too.
61
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:17,680
But I got to see both worlds in that, you know, in that switch.
62
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:25,280
I attended John P. Allgaard Elementary School, South Side of Chicago, went to Harper High,
63
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:30,040
had my friends, two of my friends to this day, we started dancing.
64
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,920
We were, I want to say professional dancers.
65
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:37,200
We did what you consider hip hop in house, dancing.
66
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:44,760
We did many, you know, concerts, opening up for rap artists, a couple of R&B artists,
67
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,840
one of them was Usher, and we opened up for him when we first started.
68
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:56,480
We were contestants on the Apollo Theater at Arlington York twice.
69
00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,520
We didn't win, but it was one experience.
70
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,020
Yeah, it's a big accomplishment just to get there.
71
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,400
Do you ever get back to that old neighborhood in the South Side of Chicago?
72
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,840
Oh yeah, often.
73
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:14,880
Home is where the heart is, you know, so even though I've been here in Columbus since, I
74
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:23,200
think it was in 2021, I mean 2001, I always go back home pretty often to see my family
75
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,200
and my friends.
76
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,760
They're still there, you know, they didn't break.
77
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,280
Is the neighborhood in better shape now?
78
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,280
Safer?
79
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,240
No, that really is.
80
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,720
It almost became like a ghost town.
81
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:45,360
Because you know, unfortunately a lot of people passed away, moved away, violence is, I don't
82
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:53,080
want to say it's crazy, but for some reason, blessed reason, we haven't had to have any
83
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:58,400
problems with it, you know, but my mom said, you know, my grandmother said, she won't leave
84
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,400
anyway.
85
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:06,920
She's one of those people where she's like, I've been here 30, 40 something years, not
86
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:14,400
going anywhere, no matter what you tell her, you know, and my mom, she doesn't want to
87
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,080
move too far from my grandmother.
88
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,120
Yeah, I understand.
89
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,600
So you had a heart attack at a young age.
90
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,000
How old were you and what was going on in your life then?
91
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,720
I was 39 years young, 39.
92
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:37,920
Prior to when I first, well, when I moved in 2001, I had three children and two years
93
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,120
later I had another on the way.
94
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:46,440
I started having issues with the mother of my children separated, still having paternal
95
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,440
issues.
96
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,200
So I started with the last stress and depression.
97
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:58,680
And then the following year, what I'm going with this is that it all built up to my medical
98
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:03,200
condition progress to be having that heart attack.
99
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,960
More from all the stress of all those things going on.
100
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,840
Because you look like a healthy guy.
101
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,040
Oh, well, it was, yeah, it was a combination.
102
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:16,480
You know, I always say to people that it's best to talk to someone if you're going through
103
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:22,040
something or find a way to vent or let it out because it will catch up with you.
104
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:28,760
And I did, I had, let's say maybe 2001, 2002, my grandmother passed away.
105
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:37,440
And then in 2003, the good part was we had our last son, but I lost my cousin to murder
106
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:41,000
on my grandmother's lawn.
107
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,040
And I didn't get degrees from my grandmother before, my grandmother who passed the year
108
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,040
before.
109
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:50,840
So I was still in that process of dealing with relationship issues.
110
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,520
And then trying to work and then living in a different state, you know, from what I'm
111
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,320
used to in different environments.
112
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,600
Started working for Coca-Cola.
113
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:10,520
And then I found out at a routine checkup that I had lupus since 2005.
114
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,760
I didn't know much about it.
115
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,760
Found out the hard way.
116
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,160
It's one of the things that come with it.
117
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:22,400
And then I didn't deal with it, you know, that news and all the trauma that was still
118
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,920
going on and then more issues.
119
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:28,320
Then we had like, it seemed like a death every year in the family.
120
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:36,360
There was a death, you know, if it wasn't from a natural cause, it was cancer, murder
121
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,360
or unexpected.
122
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,920
It was always a death, you know, in the family.
123
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:48,600
And then I want to say 2011, I got 2010 severe depression.
124
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,320
Then to the following year, severe anxiety.
125
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:58,200
I did 2013, I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism.
126
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,100
I had a blood clot.
127
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:06,600
So again, while all this was going on, there was no time for mourning, you know, no time
128
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,200
for mourning because it was, you know, take care of your family, take care of things,
129
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,200
take care of that.
130
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,280
Health is there, but you still got to work, take care of this.
131
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,880
And I just was moving like a workhorse, you know.
132
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:27,600
And then I want to say 2015, I had to bury my uncle.
133
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,440
You know, he passed away.
134
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:36,200
He was actually killed in my grandmother's home by my little brother.
135
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:42,160
He was now incarcerated, they don't call liquor spirits for nothing.
136
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:48,960
I think, you know, and he was intoxicated and those spirits got to a man, killing my
137
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,960
uncle.
138
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,360
So we had to bury him in 2015.
139
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:57,920
That same year I found out that once was one pulmonary embolism, blood clot, but when it
140
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:03,280
turned to two, it turned to three blood clots in my lung.
141
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,120
Didn't know how they get that gap there.
142
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,120
I started adding more issues, more health issues.
143
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:17,360
I decided to, a couple years prior, I started meditating because it was like too much, you
144
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,760
know, too much going on.
145
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:26,480
So up until my incident, I was just meditating hard, you know, praying hard, meditating.
146
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:33,600
And that's what kept me at least grounded why everything was going on around me, you
147
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600
know.
148
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,560
I said it wasn't, it always seemed like there was no time for mourning.
149
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:47,000
But I was working for Coca Cola and on an evening of August 17th, I came in our house
150
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,320
to work in the Eden share.
151
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:57,840
I mean, afternoons shift, I came home that evening, I called my buddy, my mom, and then
152
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,920
I was in the kitchen when I was talking to her.
153
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:08,760
And the next thing you know, I find myself waking up in the hospital about a week later,
154
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,760
you know.
155
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,880
I had no idea what happened.
156
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:17,360
The last thing I remember was standing in that kitchen, you know.
157
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:24,520
As I'm sitting there in his bed, the hospital bed with tubes and everything hooked up to
158
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,880
me, I look over.
159
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,360
And it's my family and the doctor there.
160
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:39,440
With my family, it was like this, it was almost like a glow around them, you know, but I recognized
161
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:44,800
that glow because of where I was just what I was just experiencing.
162
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,880
But the doctors was like, Jay, Jay, do you know where you are?
163
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,520
Do you know where you are?
164
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,520
How you got here?
165
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,320
He said you had an heart attack.
166
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,160
He said you died.
167
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,160
You left us.
168
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,000
You left us for a whole more day.
169
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,520
And I'm still thought of it, so I'm not paying attention to anything that's going on.
170
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:11,760
You know, I'm just, I'm just being, you know, but it was, it was, I want to say it's a real
171
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,240
moment and the fact was I didn't even know that.
172
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,120
I did not know I had passed away.
173
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,120
I thought I was sleeping.
174
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,120
Okay.
175
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,800
I got, I hate to interrupt, but you just mentioned you were gone for a whole day.
176
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:24,800
Please explain.
177
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,800
What does that mean?
178
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:34,560
Well, what had happened was when I had the heart attack, my, I guess, cause I went in
179
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:42,000
like the, apparently I drove my, what they say it was I drove myself to the hospital.
180
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,840
I parked my car perfectly.
181
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:49,920
As soon as I walked through the murder scene, I immediately collapsed and went into cardiac
182
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:50,920
arrest.
183
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:56,120
Some cold blue was called, they came about, they had to resuscitate me.
184
00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:00,360
They got me back and then get me stabilized and then I coded again.
185
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,440
They put a stent in my heart.
186
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,200
Then I was coding again and they stabilized me.
187
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:11,400
They flew me to the nearest hospital, trauma hospital, which is called Riverside.
188
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:16,760
So when I got there, I was coding again and it was still working on me.
189
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:22,320
All my mom, my family is Chicago and said, someone needs to get up here because he's
190
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,320
not looking.
191
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,320
We don't know.
192
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:29,880
We, we've been working on for about 45 minutes and my mom responded like, you've been working
193
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,280
on my baby for 45 minutes and just calling me.
194
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,760
You do tell.
195
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,080
Well, they've been busy.
196
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,080
Come on.
197
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,080
Exactly.
198
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,680
They said, they said, you're sorry, but we've been working with, we've been working on it
199
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,960
and what he's fighting.
200
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,360
You see him trying to open his eyes over fighting with them.
201
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,760
So they said, hurry up and get up here because we don't know because he's not looking good.
202
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:56,840
So while he was working on me, I called it the last time and they called my mom about
203
00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:01,080
hours, about an hour later or something like that while they was on their way up to up
204
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,080
here.
205
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,640
And they say, we're sorry, he's gone.
206
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:11,560
And my mom didn't believe it, you know, so they still proceeded to make their way up
207
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,560
here.
208
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:18,640
My children was already here because they can came up prior and they were at their mom
209
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,000
and they got the call from the doctor instead.
210
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,200
I had passed away.
211
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:29,760
So they came up to the hospital, everybody's at the hospital and they were waiting on my
212
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:37,160
mom to get there so they can say the final goodbyes, you know, before they, you know,
213
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,440
start wrapping up everything.
214
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,800
So my mom got there.
215
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,800
They don't need me.
216
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:47,800
I was there once early and she got off the elevator and she said, okay, where's my baby?
217
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,800
And the mother of my children was like, he's been gone all day.
218
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,520
He's been gone the entire day.
219
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,520
Gone.
220
00:14:55,520 --> 00:15:02,440
And she was like, no, where she responded and she think she responded, you know, she
221
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,720
hit the floor, you know.
222
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:13,120
So they went in a room, I still had machines around me and everything and my daughter was
223
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,920
18.
224
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:21,600
She had to make the choice so they can officially call it, you know, start the paperwork and
225
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,600
everything.
226
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,960
My job was already notified of my passing.
227
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:31,000
They sent the condolences letter to my family saying, we're notified about the passing of
228
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,080
your loved one.
229
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:39,240
I still have that condolences letter and my daughter, they said, okay, you see, you know,
230
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,480
now it's time.
231
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,640
My daughter said, no, he's still in there.
232
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,040
And the doctors and my mom was like, no, he's gone.
233
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,360
I'm sorry, he's been deceased the entire day.
234
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,400
She said, no, no, he's still in there.
235
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,960
Just wait.
236
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:59,200
So they waited even though my vitals and everything's gone, my brain, my organs shut down.
237
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:04,520
Were you on life support machines at this time or they had just given up and unplugged
238
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,520
everything?
239
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:12,560
The life support machine that they had was basically a machine that was, it wasn't supporting
240
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,800
my life because my life and their organs and everything was gone.
241
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:21,080
But I guess before, you know, I don't know if you've seen it like in the hospital sometimes,
242
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:26,440
it's like when somebody's gone already after somebody said they advised me to officially
243
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,440
disconnect.
244
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,320
But I think that's what that was what they were waiting.
245
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:36,280
They went home, my family went to my house, started cleaning out the house and everything,
246
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,800
making a worry plans and everything that evening.
247
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,960
The next morning, the hospital called him and said, believe this, we found a faint pulse.
248
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,000
You know, so they're like, wait, what?
249
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,560
Wait, what?
250
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,920
That's almost like a bad joke.
251
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,200
Right, exactly.
252
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,480
You don't so and then I get there with, you know, social media posts.
253
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,320
I still have that post from everybody.
254
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:06,600
Everyone that I knew saying that I had passed away, my cousin let everybody pass away the
255
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,920
day before and everything.
256
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,100
So it was everyone, like I said, my job and everything.
257
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:17,840
So when they got rushed back up there, the doctors was like, yeah, even though we found
258
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:22,840
the same pulse, you only have like a 20 something chance, percent chance of survival.
259
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:27,800
And they said, if we do, we don't know what his chance of life, his quality of life is
260
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,560
with everything was even dead.
261
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,320
You know, his brain, all that shit now.
262
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:37,680
So they said, it doesn't matter, keep it morning, keep working.
263
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:43,680
So they put me on a machine called an ECMO machine to pump blood through my body since
264
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,680
my heart, even though it got that faint pulse back, it still wasn't strong enough to pump
265
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,120
blood.
266
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,640
So the ECMO machine pumped the blood.
267
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,000
My body was swelling.
268
00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:00,500
I still have cracks all over my body, you know, from, you know, the trauma and everything.
269
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,840
So they put me in a medically induced coma while in that medically induced coma, I had
270
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:14,360
26 strokes and it was, it, they were everywhere in my brain, you know, to this day, I still
271
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,160
have some lasting damage from it.
272
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,000
So but they yet they still waited, they waited.
273
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
I came back.
274
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:31,040
I had to do countless therapies, you know, to remember how to walk, talk and everything.
275
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,840
But I was in a good place.
276
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,880
It was the best I ever felt in my life.
277
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,920
This may sound morbid, but I say it was the best sleep I ever had in my life.
278
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,600
Pretty deep sleep, it sounds like.
279
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,600
Pretty deep sleep.
280
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,560
And you know, like I said, I didn't know that I was deceased, you know, because I thought
281
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:58,360
that maybe I was sleeping because when I was gone, I remember going, I was going down this
282
00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,360
tunnel.
283
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,860
It's like an amber tunnel that was surrounding me and it was people.
284
00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:08,640
It looked like people reaching out for me, but there was no malicious intent, but it
285
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:09,640
was just reaching.
286
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,640
I wasn't afraid or anything or emotion.
287
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,160
I was just going down that tunnel.
288
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,520
Once I got to the end of the tunnel, I found myself like it was like almost like floating
289
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,680
down the highway and it was like gloomy outside.
290
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:32,880
Mighty was out there and I witnessed it was like it's like a landmark here in Columbus.
291
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,360
I think they call it the Brewery District and I remember seeing that, you know, same
292
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,120
thing.
293
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:48,960
And after that, it was just like immediately straight up to space, you know, and again,
294
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:54,040
no fear, no concern, no doubt, no worry.
295
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:58,840
I just existed, you know, I just was.
296
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:04,240
So while I'm up there, like at the footstool, like in front of me, but below me, I saw the
297
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:11,960
earth and it was like energy protruding from the earth, like going in as it's going up
298
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,280
and circling in and out of the earth.
299
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,800
It was a pretty cool sight, you know.
300
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
I'll bet.
301
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:25,480
Then I looked to my left and I saw what looked like a galaxy or like a swirling of stars,
302
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:26,480
you know.
303
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:31,440
At first I described it as a wormhole, but as the years go by and started to look and
304
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:37,240
research and everything, I noticed it on Google when I was looking at images.
305
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,040
And I was like, that's what I saw.
306
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,240
And it looked like the Andromeda Galaxy.
307
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:47,320
You know, I was like, that's what I saw, you know.
308
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,680
And while I was there, then I heard to my right, it was like I heard someone call my
309
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:52,680
name.
310
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,240
I didn't know who it was from, who it was.
311
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,880
I just heard my name called.
312
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,120
So I looked to my right, didn't see anything.
313
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:07,200
Looked at the earth again, then I looked at the stars again and looked towards my name
314
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,200
again.
315
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,480
And then after that, everything went black again.
316
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:19,080
And then that's when I eventually don't know the timeframe, but I eventually awoke to like
317
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:28,520
seeing my like friends, my buddy came from Chicago, him and his wife and their kids to
318
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,000
come up and see me.
319
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,880
I just need to interject for our listeners.
320
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:38,400
If you hear any little giggling and things, that is little Hallie that's on Jay's lap.
321
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,840
How old is Hallie?
322
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,640
She is three years young.
323
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,960
She just heard Burry.
324
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,960
Happy birthday, Hallie.
325
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,960
Sick.
326
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:48,960
And busy.
327
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:55,320
Well, she's beautiful and she's happy to be sitting on daddy's lap this morning.
328
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,920
Thank you, my she wanted to be anywhere I am.
329
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,240
Good, okay, keep going.
330
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:07,240
She was holding my hand and I was still hooked up to the tunes and everything.
331
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,800
And I can just look, but she was holding my hand.
332
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,420
I saw my kids her tears and she said, if you can hear me, squeeze my fingers.
333
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:18,520
So I scrolls her fingers and then let's see, no, I'm out again.
334
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:23,960
So I was in and out of consciousness the whole time while I was there.
335
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,160
But again, I felt amazing.
336
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:34,120
I had no fear, no doubt, no anger.
337
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:38,960
I was just in a great place.
338
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:45,320
Then it kind of hit me out to what some of the things that happened when I was lying
339
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:52,480
in my bed and the therapist came in and said, okay, it's time to start the therapy.
340
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,440
What?
341
00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:04,040
So I proceeded to try to get up out the bed and move my legs around and almost felt like
342
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,040
I could try it.
343
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,080
I almost stood up and almost fell.
344
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,680
So I didn't get too far from the bed.
345
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,680
So I fell back on the bed.
346
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,680
It was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
347
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,360
And I come to find out that I couldn't walk.
348
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,600
How many days after going into the hospital is this now?
349
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:29,200
This, my therapy, I started my therapy probably like, I want to say a month after the hospital.
350
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,760
So you're dead for a day and then you're in and out of consciousness while you're in a
351
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:37,720
medically induced coma, then in and out of consciousness for a while.
352
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,160
Finally, okay, month has gone by time to get up.
353
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,200
Sounds easy, right?
354
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,200
Right.
355
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,400
Yeah, it sounds easy.
356
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,320
After all those strokes, did you have some paralysis?
357
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:55,960
Yeah, at least like one of them was my legs.
358
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,040
I couldn't speak.
359
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,280
So I had to learn how to speak again.
360
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:09,580
I had to learn how to write again because it was like I couldn't even hold a pen.
361
00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:13,280
They tried different ways for me to try to communicate with, I remember one time they
362
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:18,600
brought in like this alphabet magnetic board with alphabets to see if I could try to spell
363
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,600
it out.
364
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
I couldn't even move those things, right?
365
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:28,280
It was frustrating because it was like I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't say it.
366
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,640
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
367
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,320
Let's go back to this near death experience for a minute.
368
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:39,040
You saw the earth, you saw galaxies, swirling stars.
369
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,900
Anything else that you saw or felt or can recall?
370
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:43,960
Any other detail?
371
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,280
I don't recall seeing anything else.
372
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,840
I can say I do.
373
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:56,440
Only thing that I know for certain is that I knew I existed.
374
00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,160
I didn't notice to have any form, anybody.
375
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:07,840
I was like one with the universe, so I was one with everything.
376
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:15,720
It was almost like hard to explain, I just knew I was.
377
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,400
If something's in the Bible, we're saving God to a good count.
378
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,960
When Abraham asked what his name is, he said, I am.
379
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,440
I am what I will to be.
380
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,440
That's what I was.
381
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:30,960
Yeah, that's what that reminded me of.
382
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,040
You just realized that you were, you are.
383
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,920
Yes, yes.
384
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,640
And I took that amazing feeling with me because when I told you that I saw this aura, this
385
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:48,720
light over my family, I recognized that to be love.
386
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:54,000
And that's how I knew that love wasn't a word, it was an actual entity.
387
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,720
Each of you is actually me.
388
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:03,680
Because even after some of the first words that I said, it was someone actually being
389
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:10,480
with love, you know, this is as if that was the prominent force that was working for me,
390
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:17,600
just tell people about love, the importance of love, that love exists not as a word, but
391
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,480
as an entity in this.
392
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:26,960
You know, so it was sometimes I wonder, man, if I can get that feeling back.
393
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:34,440
I didn't know that relaxing, calm feeling, it wasn't until I started getting more interested
394
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:40,560
to this world, you know, in the acclimatization, television and all this stuff, when I started
395
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:48,760
feeling literally everything, the emotions, the hurt, the pain that people feel, it's
396
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:56,120
like an amplicite, you know, and I felt it literally hurt.
397
00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:04,640
You know, it was very sad, you know, I was literally reborn after that moment, literally,
398
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:12,440
so much as when I first left the hospital, when I looked outside, it's like I had, I
399
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:17,640
was looking at everything like I had never seen before, you know, the bus, the clouds,
400
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:25,800
the trees, I was like, shocked and awed looking at it like, wow, what is this, you know, I
401
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,600
had to get readjusted.
402
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,880
I did, I literally had to get readjusted.
403
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:31,880
Yeah.
404
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,120
So emotionally, was that a really difficult thing?
405
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,960
Or was that, yay, I'm back, so I'm so happy about it?
406
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,480
Or what were the emotions like?
407
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:46,960
The emotions was just, it was, I want to say it was pure calm, you know, I was at pure
408
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:54,920
bliss, you know, at calm, even though everything looked strange to me, I was at pure calm,
409
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:55,920
I was relaxed.
410
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:03,360
Like you said, the only thing, it wasn't until I started being around people more and seeing
411
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:08,680
television when I started feeling, started to feel, it's like their energies and their
412
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:15,120
emotions radiated either through television or through them physically, and I felt it,
413
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:23,640
and that's what it started to feel like uncomfortable, you know, it felt very scary.
414
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,840
It was like an extreme empathy.
415
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,760
Yeah, yeah.
416
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:33,760
And I see a therapist now and I started seeing a therapist, I had to, after all of that,
417
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:41,880
you know, and one of the things she said to me was, you can't carry everybody's emotions
418
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,520
or burdens and everything that you feel.
419
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:49,560
And I'm like, it's kind of hard to not do, you know, because it's like, it's a natural
420
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,560
thing that I feel, you know, I try to.
421
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,760
Balance it, but I feel you'll feel it nonetheless.
422
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,760
You know, you can't, someone like you can't shake it.
423
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,360
How is your health now and what do you do for work?
424
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:10,840
Right now my health is, it's a roller coaster because of the damage that was done to my
425
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,720
brain from the strokes.
426
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,320
I have traumatic brain injury.
427
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,160
A lot of the strokes was in my cerebellum.
428
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:23,800
So that control was like, like direction, balance and everything.
429
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:28,920
So I have vertigo every day, all day.
430
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:37,160
Try medication, no medication, the neurologist was like, we tried there, but he said, but
431
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,840
I can't promise you anything because of the extensive damage that was done to your cerebellum.
432
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,880
And that was true.
433
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:47,640
So the best thing I could do is learn to live with it.
434
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:54,760
I have nerve damage to where I have to take medicine for my nerves because I, it, they
435
00:29:54,760 --> 00:30:00,600
like jumps, you know, my nerves like, it's more like neuropathy.
436
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:05,880
I have damage in my leg to where I had to walk with a cane.
437
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,400
I can't move my foot, my left foot.
438
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,320
So it's like a lot of damage was done to my left side.
439
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:18,480
I balance the, I balance the dizziness and so time to nausea and everything with raising
440
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,440
a three year old.
441
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,720
You know, that's a lot.
442
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:32,320
I just learned to get back, start sleeping again because for, it's been 87 years in August.
443
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:39,560
So up until a year ago, I had what they call them, can't sleep.
444
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:46,720
Insomnia, insomnia, I had insomnia where I couldn't sleep for up until a year ago.
445
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,160
It was, I just couldn't do it.
446
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:54,680
It's almost like my clock was just like reset and I just didn't, I couldn't do it.
447
00:30:54,680 --> 00:31:01,800
And PTSD would creep in sometimes too, because if I did fall asleep or feel like I was about
448
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:06,760
to fall asleep, I would wake right back up because I was afraid that I would be afraid
449
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:11,040
that I had died yet because I died the first time I thought I was asleep.
450
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:15,200
So I wouldn't, so I was like, I don't know if I'm dying again, if I go to sleep, I don't
451
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,200
know if I'm dead again.
452
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:22,200
As you know, so it's like trying to figure out how to, how to do that.
453
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:27,720
And because I couldn't sleep, sometime I was nauseous every morning, you know, because
454
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:32,200
I was stayed up because I, you know, I couldn't sleep.
455
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:37,280
And I'm just starting to get back to sleep now, but there's still the other thing, like
456
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:41,840
I said, things that I mentioned about the neuropathy and then the lupus likes to kick
457
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:51,040
in, you know, where sometimes lethargic and tired, you know, then I have my headaches,
458
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:56,240
you know, but I still keep placing through that short term memory.
459
00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:00,360
And even with all these things, I still stay optimistic.
460
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:04,480
You know, I don't let it keep me down.
461
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:05,480
I can tell.
462
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:06,880
I think you're doing great.
463
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,600
Your speech is really good.
464
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,800
I haven't seen any memory issues yet.
465
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:15,600
It made, I tried to, it's a thing called I have disabilities.
466
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:21,800
I tried to program to see if I could at least try to go back to work.
467
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,040
And I went the thing I couldn't because of my reliability.
468
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,200
I can't look at like words, read anything.
469
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:36,480
Like if I'm reading a book after the first, after the second sentence and I get to the
470
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:41,280
third sentence, I don't forget what I read, you know, and then the computer sometimes
471
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,200
looking at that screen going back and forth.
472
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:49,400
If I get dizzy, you know, because of the vertigo, sometimes I can't drive because the vertigo
473
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,400
is so bad.
474
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,880
So I choose to sit it out.
475
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:59,280
So I've just been trying to find a way to, I want to say goodbye.
476
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,880
You know, my wife is a big help.
477
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:06,800
My family is a big help, but I've had a job since I was 15, you know, and I'm used to
478
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,460
being that provider.
479
00:33:08,460 --> 00:33:16,240
So it's like, I've been constantly trying to find a way where I can do more providing
480
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:21,520
to my wife when I have to work as much, you know, it's, I guess that's the main part of
481
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:27,440
me, you know, it's like, I understand you work getting, you know, you help me because
482
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:35,280
I, you know, I still have, I have social security helps me, but it's like, I wanted more, you
483
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,400
know, you know, like the man is like, I should be doing more.
484
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,800
I understand.
485
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,760
Has your family found a change in you personality wise?
486
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,200
Yes.
487
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:54,360
I noticed it as well, you know, they say that I'm not as, I want to say, too much humor
488
00:33:54,360 --> 00:34:01,960
as I usually get, you know, they say I'm more laid back or I've always been a laid back
489
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:06,280
guy, but more laid back to where I'm almost like point of seclusion.
490
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,200
I don't see things the same way to everybody else.
491
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:16,960
When they say like my wife instance, I got to add this is that me and my wife, we had
492
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:17,960
just started dating.
493
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,960
I was like, my answer's been bad.
494
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:25,920
So I was like, what a way to start dating somebody and go once just to have them die
495
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:32,520
in the middle of a date bill, you know, and she spayed me, you know, she's at the hospital
496
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:33,520
every day.
497
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,280
He was at the hospital every day.
498
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:41,680
In fact, when I, my kids got the news, she was just coming in for work, which is the
499
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,480
same hospital where I'm saying she was just coming in and working.
500
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,240
My youngest son called her and said, dad, die.
501
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:55,520
So she rushed right back out up there and she was at my hospital bed every day by my
502
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,520
side.
503
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,600
You know, she never left.
504
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:05,280
She made sure since she worked at the hospital, she made sure that all my meds was okay, that
505
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:09,720
they wasn't putting up some bad blood, but I had to try a fusion as well.
506
00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:16,520
You know, she was on it, you know, and one day she was by my bed, still hooked up to
507
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,520
the tubes and everything.
508
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:27,560
I got the trachea and couldn't talk and she was holding my hand and I looked over at her,
509
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:35,160
looked up at her looking at, and I looked back and my eyes started welling up.
510
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,200
And I looked back at her and I looked up at her and I bowed with my bowels.
511
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,120
I said, would you marry me?
512
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,120
Yeah.
513
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:49,400
And she started tearing up.
514
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,400
Now does that count?
515
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,280
You may have been under the influence of something there in the hospital.
516
00:35:53,280 --> 00:36:03,880
Oh, I was, I was saying, you know, it's funny is that my kid's mom and her mother, my kid's
517
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:11,400
mom mother, they were all wondering, it was like, did you do that out of obligation because
518
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,480
she was there and you think he was obligated?
519
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,000
I said, no, I was where I was.
520
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,640
I was the, had the clearest mind ever.
521
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,440
I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone.
522
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,240
Every problem that I had for then, I didn't think about it.
523
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:31,420
Only thing that I was thinking about was now at that moment.
524
00:36:31,420 --> 00:36:38,520
And I had a divine energy being with me that was guiding everything, even those words.
525
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,120
So when I said that, I said, that was real.
526
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:43,460
That was true.
527
00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:46,320
That was definite.
528
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:53,520
And she noticed she, even though she said yes, she decided to take care of me.
529
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:59,440
So I came and stayed with her in her apartment, her step dad, and she took care of me.
530
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:04,400
You know, she got me to my doctor's appointments, my therapies.
531
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:10,280
And she, at some point in time, she noticed a difference in me because she said that I
532
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:19,680
wasn't as outgoing, so to speak, as I was, I was different.
533
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:25,680
Even to a point where she asked me if I was in love with her years ago, you know, she
534
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,240
asked me, she said, are you still in love, are you going to love with me?
535
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:35,400
And I had to explain to her, I said, baby, the way I see things now, people's interpretation
536
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,120
of being in love is not a real thing.
537
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:44,280
I said people sometimes are fact-explained, but somebody, some people love to the point
538
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:48,000
where they love you just for who you are.
539
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,120
They can love you romantically.
540
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:51,600
They can love you in all aspects.
541
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,700
Actually, I love you in all aspects, including romantically.
542
00:37:55,700 --> 00:37:59,960
So I can't say that I'm in love with you, that makes you, hopefully that clears it up
543
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:00,960
for you.
544
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,880
It's not an in love with you thing.
545
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:07,160
I love all of you.
546
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:14,420
So even though she probably accepted that, she still noticed that there was still a difference.
547
00:38:14,420 --> 00:38:20,880
And I noticed it well too, because I've had a hard time trying to figure out who I was,
548
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,480
because everybody would say, you used to be this, you was that, you was this.
549
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:29,160
And I'm like, who is this person that you guys talking about?
550
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,480
Because I felt different.
551
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:37,480
I felt like I was walking in between two worlds, one foot in the spiritual world, one foot
552
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,680
in the physical world.
553
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,400
And I was new.
554
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:48,840
And for years, I was combating myself literally to the point to where I would come in tears,
555
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:53,760
because it's like, how come I can't remember who this person is they could talk about?
556
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,040
How come I can't remember it?
557
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,840
And it hurt me for a while.
558
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:09,240
One day I got in the shower and I just started bawling, just crying profusely.
559
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,200
She came in there to see what's going on.
560
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:19,160
You know, I told her that I just, it just hit me what happened to me.
561
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:26,320
I think that the ramifications, just the idea of everything that happened to me and how
562
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:33,280
you all felt about what happened to me and what's happening to me, it hit me all at the
563
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:39,000
same time to where I just couldn't control it.
564
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,160
And to this day, I'm doing better with it.
565
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:49,920
I must honestly say I'm doing better with it, but there is still acknowledgement that
566
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:54,720
I walk with one foot in the spiritual world, one foot in the physical world.
567
00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:59,680
And I can still feel everything and everyone around me.
568
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,560
I just have better habit on it than I did when it first happened.
569
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,560
That makes sense.
570
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:07,720
Yes.
571
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:08,720
Let's finish up.
572
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:13,040
I would like you to give our listeners a message of hope.
573
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,040
You've learned a lot.
574
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,160
You have come a long ways.
575
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,760
Some people are still struggling with a lot of really difficult things.
576
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:21,800
What do you have to say to them?
577
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:28,280
Well, one thing I learned from not just growing up on the South side of Chicago, the environment
578
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:36,360
I did and everything that I've been through here is that even though times are hard and
579
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,160
it may seem like there's no way out and it may seem heavy and sometimes it may groove
580
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:47,360
spiritually as well, those things that you're going through are preparing to give you strength
581
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,560
to have the next thing that's coming your way.
582
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:55,140
And best believe there's going to always be something that comes your way.
583
00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:59,480
And how you handle what you're going through now is going to determine how well you handle
584
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,580
the next thing that comes your way.
585
00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:03,360
And you can make it through.
586
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,800
You can make it.
587
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,280
Anything is possible.
588
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:13,880
If I, the doctors and all couldn't believe it, even one of the doctors had to say he
589
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:18,600
wanted to take a picture with me because he couldn't believe it, you know, if the doctors
590
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:25,760
can see something that the medical license and expertise couldn't explain and yet now
591
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:32,160
they believe something, that should show you that there is a higher power out there that
592
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:37,400
will protect that guide you and that will help you make it through all these difficult
593
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,760
times that are going through.
594
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:39,760
And you can make it.
595
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,720
And just because it seems like you're not making it because you may get a little weary
596
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:48,520
or you may get crazy sick, you can still pull through.
597
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,680
This is only temporary.
598
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:55,720
And know that regardless of what happened, that there is no death.
599
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:58,000
There is no such thing as death.
600
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,960
You only get that energy, that spirit that is within you.
601
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:04,960
It just transmits to another level.
602
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,160
I do have one more question about that.
603
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:13,380
You mentioned that you've had insomnia because of fear of dying at night.
604
00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:17,960
But in all reality, since you've seen the other side, are you afraid of death?
605
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,880
In other words, what's on the other side?
606
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,120
No, I'm not.
607
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:27,960
I think what it was for me was that I felt like, and it's the same with a lot of people,
608
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:33,320
a lot of people fear death not because someone says someone don't admit it, not because they
609
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,120
don't know what to expect on the other side.
610
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:36,600
It's because of what they have here.
611
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:37,600
They don't want to let go.
612
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:42,880
Either it's a family member or somewhere that they had to go or do and they feel like they
613
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,200
have to accomplish something.
614
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:52,440
So that was my thing, that I didn't want to go back to sleep, so to speak, because I felt
615
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:57,400
like I'm bad for a reason and I have something to do.
616
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:03,800
I don't know what it is and I have some things here to do and I have a family so much.
617
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,960
I'm just not ready to go back just yet.
618
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,040
I'm not afraid.
619
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,480
I just feel like there's still something that I have to do.
620
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:16,680
Now when elders and people get to that age and they live like 100 years and stuff like
621
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:21,520
that and they say they're tired, they're actually tired and they're not afraid because they
622
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:25,800
live their life and they let go of everything and it's okay to do that now because they
623
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:32,120
experienced all the love of all the emotions, all the good times, the bad times, trials,
624
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,400
triumphs, they experienced all that.
625
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,900
So now, yeah, they want to rest.
626
00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:41,460
They want that body to rest and they want to move on to that other place where they
627
00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:47,480
still exist, but they won't die, but they still exist.
628
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:52,620
It still feels good to know that you still exist.
629
00:43:52,620 --> 00:43:58,240
So whatever you do, know that you make it through and that regardless of what happens,
630
00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:04,240
you still, but since there's nothing to be afraid of whatsoever.
631
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:05,240
Good summary.
632
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,240
Thank you very much.
633
00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:08,120
I appreciate having you on the show today.
634
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,520
I appreciate you having me.
635
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:13,200
I'm very humble, very grateful.
636
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:21,880
I start to believe one of the things that I have left me to do is to share my story
637
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:29,320
and to share this message of hope and inspiration to inspire people to love, to find love, to
638
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:34,600
let love in their life and experience it and to help those who are about to meet their
639
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:40,400
trans and should know that there's nothing to be afraid of and that they won't die.
640
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,320
The real being won't die.
641
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,400
I think that is part of why I'm still here.
642
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:47,400
Beautifully said.
643
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:48,400
Thank you.
644
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,400
Thank you.
645
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:58,240
If you have had a round trip death experience, we would love to hear about it.
646
00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:00,640
Send an email to eric at roundtripdeath.com.
647
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:06,280
And lastly, if you have found this program uplifting, if it's given you just a little
648
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:11,480
more hope in the future, share it with a friend, hit that follow button and take a few seconds
649
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,640
to write us a review.
650
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:18,520
Until next time, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and
651
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:34,360
the next.
